Of all the self help books I’ve ever read (and I’ve read them all), none were as beneficial and effective to my day-to-day living than that of I Will Teach You to Be Rich by Ramit Sethi. After swallowing that cash manual, money was no longer a stressful undertaking where each month ended with a desperate dive for the next pay cheque, and instead, finances became a game where I completely shifted my approach and began to watch in glee as my savings flourished whilst my accounts grew without having to shove any additional capital into them. After a glorious period of basking in this joy, I realised I was saving far more than I needed to, aimlessly without any goal, and instead opted to spend that excess cash by moving into a muuuch bigger place for a few extra hundred quid a month—which did wonders for my general happiness, sure, but suddenly my bank account wasn’t quite as exciting as it was before. Oh no! And that’s when I decided I needed to re-attack this aspect of my existence from a fresh angle. And that’s where Martin Lewis came in. A man who, as the creator of MoneySavingExpert.com, is a huuuge fucking player in the game, and undoubtedly a well-versed pair of economic hands to nurse my earnings back to their former state of glory. But while my greed was anxious to see what he could do for me, I had my doubts. Sethi left big pockets to fill, I was already a master of my salary system, and every corner of my income had been scraped dry away from any bad spending habits, which got me all skeptical like: how could this guy possibly shine a torch on a hole I’d overlooked before? And that is the million quid question, right? Could he do it? To which the answer is, much like everything: I have some good news. And I have bad news.
The good news is that, yes, it did provide quite an impressive array of new tips and tricks which I will vigorously apply to my already preciously precise system. Probably the most useful of them all were the little practical steps one can take to shave off a decent collection of pennies, like buying food in bulk and freezing, or purchasing everything second hand, or his comprehensive listing of sites for finding the best bargains, or how stupid it is to use a brand name anything, because most products originate from the same factories anyway, and you are essentially paying for a logo. These suggestions made a lot of sense to me, because if you think about it, saving 50p on 20 items every week adds up to £520 a year, and that’s a whole load of holiday paid for easily. There were also plenty of much bigger wins scattered throughout this guide, and here are five excellent examples: (1) Rather than get a small loan, get a credit card with the first three months interest free, and as long as you pay it off on time, it’s free borrowing; (2) Never use travel agents. Packaged holidays usually mean cheaper flights even if you don’t use the hotel included; (3) Always check the providers of all your bills, as there are probably much cheaper alternatives out there which could save you a small fortune; (4) Place rival companies in direct competition with each other, and with just a few phone calls, you can wear them down until they beat each other into non-profit (even if you lie a little bit); and (5) Always use the thing with the lowest interest to pay off all the other things, so if you have a massive credit card debt with high interest, it makes sense to get a (carefully chosen!) bank loan of that amount with a lower interest to pay it off—you even get cards called ‘balance transfer cards’ designed just for this practice (on a side note, there are also tons of other debt rescue techniques available in here if you’re in trouble right now, so maybe that might be your reason for picking it up in the first place). All of which was invaluable advice and I tucked them away into my wallet for safekeeping and later use.
Furthermore, there were various other interesting facts (smoking may be a huge waste of money, but if you live long enough, smokers do get paid more annuity, lol; there is no actual credit rating system or blacklist, merely different scoring systems used by each lender; and a bunch of credit cards with lots of available credit actually scores badly! Always cancel them, don’t just cut them up!), stupid tricks (draw a tenner less than usual at the ATM; don’t put your money in the same place on your body, apparently this psychologically fucks you into spending less; and always work out how much you’re willing to spend on a strict shopping list before you leave the house), and advice (don’t even think about savings if you’re in debt, obviously; how to spot cunning fancy marketing advertising deceptions designed to fuck you without meaning fuckall; don’t trust comparisons sites because they use sponsored content; how to barter properly; your rights with purchases; how to manipulate phone call charges and store cards; how to ride the wave of introductory offers including the continuous jump from one 0 interest credit card to another; some very decent ISA information; and assuring us not to be afraid to to talk to each other and share our experiences, as we’re all friends here at the end of the day, trying to stick it to the man), each of these points coming armed with countless references and totally justifying their worth. And by the end, you realise the key here is to be like Martin Lewis: a dude with absolutely no trust nor loyalty to any business, rather always looking at ways to squeeze them for their final dollar, which makes sense because that’s exactly what they’re doing to us (which is why you should be cautious with anything I’ve just said if you want to play the game). I’m not quite sure where his hostility came from, what happened to you Lewis? Although any animosity was nicely hidden beneath a fake cook book type of format, set out like an actual food dietary guide, which was a great overall touch too if nothing else.
But, of course, there is the bad news, which ranges from a few minor personal annoyances to some full-blown critical failures. The biggest and most obvious problem (which I should have found out before I bought the damn thing) was that this edition was published in 2005, meaning that a large percentage of its facts and approaches were repulsively outdated and useless. He even goes so far as to assume that some of his readers wouldn’t have connection to the internet (??), the whole mystical world wide web sounding foreign to him as he explains what Google is, explains what Skype is, and even once states ‘for anyone using the net for less than 15 hours a month’????? I use the net for 15 hours a day at least, motherfucker! He talks about dial up and landlines as if anyone even remembers what those were, and there were frequent moments when I nearly threw the book at the person opposite me on the tube, frustrated with how obsolete this piece of shit was that I was enduring. With that anger aside, there were a few more forgivable flaws too, for example: the very topic itself. And while I can only blame me for putting myself through this, any financial book is not exactly going to be an exhilarating ride, rather it’s going to be somewhat boring, and I often found my eyes continuing to move when my mind had forgot to read anything. I mean, when someone tells you to pretty much cut out all the little things you love in life that get you through the day just to scrape a few cents together, there is only so much sorrow one can take, right? Right! Another curse with a guide as in-depth as this one, is that not all of the myriad of manoeuvres will apply to any one person, such as the fact that it was so UK based that anyone outside of the country would struggle to make sense of it, or how much brilliant mortgage advice there was, which simply doesn’t apply to someone like me right now (although, that said, if you’re looking to get or already have a mortgage, you’re an idiot not to read this or some other equivalent, a complete fool you are, shame). Finally, he spammed his website a bit too much for my liking, but as he is known as one of the greatest sources the world has to offer, I’ll let that one slide, because it did convince me to visit his page as often as possible.
At the end of the day, these books are not completely about their content, they are about their mindset. Even if you do nothing it instructs, it should still inspire and encourage you to handle your finances a little smarter, never spending a penny without weighing up the options and picking the greatest value, which is why, in its defence, I must confess that I’ve already managed to save around an extra £100 over the last month of reading it just by making very simple (but brutal!) adjustments to my shopping, and that’s £1200 a year extra if I keep that up, never mind the shit I haven't even tried yet. Certainly, it had its faults and Martin Lewis has way less charisma and a much smaller funny bone than Ramit Sethi, but he makes up for it with an unmatched obsession of snipping corners whilst still coming across like a nice enough chap whose jokes and cultural references are almost funny. Oh, and his methods of bouncing shit around with credit cards? His self proclaimed ‘proudest baby’ chapter? That was masterful. Chess-like. True artistry. Poetry. And worth half a star all by itself.