Private is a book written by James Patterson (and Maxine Paetro) who is a well known author of crime thriller novels. Wow. Sorry James, but this is a really crappy book. The story line is all over the place, the characters are completely undeveloped and the “reveal” at the end is totally predictable. This was the first time (that I know of) that I read a book that has a “ghost writer”. That’s right people, the person who you thought wrote the book (ie. The person’s name written in big red block letters on the front cover, in this case, James Patterson) did not actually write the book. WTF, right? Some no name women, who ironically has a name, Maxine Paetro, wrote it but they stick James’s name on the front cover to sell it. Hey James, word to clearly unwise, before you agree to put your name on the front of book, written by some random chick, that you clearly did not read yourself (if you had, I doubt your name would be on the front) maybe you should get your head checked first. Good luck with this one!
This is one of those times that I’ve mentioned previously where I went into the library, and picked a random book up from the New Releases. Big Huge mistake.
Reading this book was, strangely, a lot like watching an episode (or couple at least all mushed into one) of Criminal Minds, CSI or Bones and the like. The whole thing revolves around this typical American guy, Jack, who is a veteran millionaire and who also owns and runs his own private investigation firm in LA where he dates movie stars and represents basically everyone who’s anyone in Hollywood. The story follows Jack and his team (which, funnily enough, includes the bird he’s screwing and the bird he used to screw) as they investigate crimes which include:
1. A group of psychotic gamers who spend their days in corporate jobs and their nights either enveloped in World of Warcraft or teenage girl killing sprees
2. Finding Jack’s best mate’s wife’s murderer
3. A game fixing scandal within the NFL of which Jack’s uncle happens to be a head honcho
Somewhere in there we are also dealing with Jack’s regular wartime nightmares, a prank caller who calls him every morning and says very ominously “You’re Dead”, his clearly unhinged identical twin brother AND with his commitment issues with the bird he’s screwing and his ultimate regret for dumping the girl he used to screw.
PHEW.
The writing itself is not bad, it is clear and concise and to the point but with so much going on in the story and a clearly unskilled writer, it was doomed to fail. It’s like when you’re a kid and you’re going to a carnival for the first time and you’re bombarded with so many colours and lights and you’re craning your neck in every direction trying to take it all in but never really focusing one particular thing... This is what it was like reading this book. I felt like the author randomly came up with a bunch of different ideas and decided to forcefully shove them all into one book. I have only one piece of advice for James or Maxine or whoever the hell wrote this damn book, focus on one main plot idea until you’re a good enough writer to focus on more than one.