The Faithful Parent: A Biblical Guide to Raising a Family

by Martha Peace, Stuart W. Scott

Parents and children need a lot of help from the One who is perfect and who understands our need—God himself. Peace and Scott emphasize your family's most important its relationship with God.

Genres: Parenting, Christian, Counselling, Family, Christian Living, Nonfiction, Faith

256 pages, Paperback

First published May 19, 2010

About the author

Martha Peace is a biblical counselor with the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors. She is the author of many books and speaks and teaches nationally and internationally.

Reviews

[Frank · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a very helpful book on parenting. The authors address every stage of child development and the key biblical issues that parents need to be aware of. The book contains many helpful diagrams and charts for practically applying biblical principles to parenting, sanctification, and repentance.

[Tiffany · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved reading through this and will definitely reference it once Baby is Earth-side! It was a very easy read and the layout of the text is laid out logically beginning with the role and motivation of the parent towards parenting and then sectioning into parenting throughout the different stages of the child’s life. Of course, it is important to keep in mind that everyone’s situation is different and not every practical advice given will work for every child; however, the biblical truths represented in regards to parenting are very sound.

[Jessica Duff · Rating 2 out of 5]

I realized partway in that the authors aren’t covenantally minded about children, so much of the advice given is from that mindset that our children aren’t saved and receiving the benefits of salvation

[John · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best parenting books I've read. Most parenting books are strong either in principles or in practice. This is one of the rare ones that does both excellently.

[Andrew Jaspers · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a mixed bag of solid, biblical teaching; obvious parenting advice; and some points of disagreement. As an example of disagreement, it teaches when a toddler is told to come but she runs the other way wanting to be chased, she needs to be disciplined (57). This is a hard one because you want them to learn obedience to this command when the time requires it (e.g. busy parking lot), but there are times when the setting and command is casual and a chasing game is appropriate. My experience has been a toddler can learn your tone of voice and the situation to figure out when playing is appropriate, and therefore, discipline is not always the answer. Granted, the book may have been assuming the tone and situation are serious, but since this is not expressed, people who love adopting systems in their entirety (like me) could assume that anything other than obedience to a command (even a half-thought through one) necessitates discipline. I really appreciated the practical advice sections, "parents who provoke," "special cases," and their overall emphasis that salvation of your kids is not the goal but being faithful (teaching about God, praying, relating, challenging) to the role of parenting to which God has called you. Overall, I think this book will be a good resource to my parenting and ministry to other parents.

[Kristen · Rating 2 out of 5]

I like both authors and have respect for their other work but was disappointed with this book. I felt that if I read it when my children were first born it would have been more beneficial. They also seemed dogmatic in areas I didn't think they needed to be. In other areas I was hoping for more information only to be disappointed. There is good stuff in this book but not enough for me.

[Drew · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good. Clear and sound biblical counsel for parents. Happy to recommend.

[Priscilla]

Well rounded with practical and biblical vision.

[Joe Wall · Rating 2 out of 5]

While I feel like it is extraordinarily helpful, I thought that at times was pedantic and disjointed. As a single dad, who is trying to do the best that I can, the chapter on Special Cases was an encouragement after having my guts ripped out in the prior 8 chapters. I should have read the last 3 chapters first.

[Annie Hogue · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really helpful book. Probably the most helpful thing for me was the first simple statement of the authors that we parent by God’s grace and what God is asking of us is faithfulness, not results.

The parent’s responsibilities to discipline and instruct are introduced and then the next part of the book is devoted to carrying these things out through the stages of a child’s life. It’s very practical and lots of it can seem like a no-brainer, yet even though (maybe because) I have several children, I get off track and this basic approach was just very helpful to me. I posted several highlights from this section. Also very reassuring was the authors saying things aren’t always clear when it comes to discipline; we must pray for wisdom, expect to make lots of mistakes and adjustments to work toward the right balance, and often we have to wait a while before we see fruit. Also included somewhere in this first section of the book is a list of things to teach our children about God with lots of scripture references, similar to a catechism.

There is a chapter on not provoking your children, which I thought went on too long. I almost didn’t finish that section but persevered through. I think they could have been just as (or more) effective if they had been more concise. This section along with their always advising a gentle tone are the reason I gave the book four stars instead of five. I don’t think a parent’s tone should always be gentle, though exactly how you could explain in a book when it shouldn’t be might be difficult.

Next are sections dealing with difficult circumstances that sound quite solid based on examples I’ve seen in my own church.

Last are the appendices on presenting the gospel to children, putting off and putting on (changing our sinful habits), a short biography of Charles Spurgeon’s life (including childhood), and taking thoughts captive. These, like the rest of the book, are filled with scripture, and I’d like to return to them to help me get some traction in habits and thoughts.

This is a great book for reminding parents to focus on faithfulness by God’s grace, getting your feet under you in the different ages and stages of parenting, and lots of scripture alongside solid practical advice. I recommend it!

[Nathan Moore · Rating 3 out of 5]

This a simple, faithful introduction to parenting. Scott and Peace rightly argue that parenting should not be outcome based but focused on faithfulness. The book has three primary parts. In part one, they argue that the Bible gives two primary instructions to parents: parents are to discipline and instruct their children. Part two goes through each of the various child-rearing stages and addresses developmental milestones, biblical insight for that stage, how to apply discipline and instruction, and common-sense tips for parents. Part Three addresses special parenting cases. There are several appendices that will be useful, especially for pastors and counselors.

Overall this book is solid but I found it pretty simplistic. Unlike Tripp, they give less attention to the dynamic of the heart and seem to assume parents understand its role in parenting.

One strength of this book was that they encourage parents to be cautious about professions of faith, especially before a child becomes a teenager. I think this is wise and necessary.

[Jessie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A humbling reminder that we need to constantly seek Christ in parenting (even in monotonous day to day tasks). Our children need grace and mercy as much as we do, and the book gives practical examples on how to handle biblical responsibilities as a parent. I do wish it had more information in the toddler portion, but overall I found it to be helpful. Would highly recommend to other parents.

[Nicholas Potts · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good book! Highly recommended for parents and churches to help train parents in biblical parenting.

[Elizabeth Strickland · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5/5. I found this one hard to get through. It was a 30,000 foot overview on biblical parenting, which can be helpful if it’s an entirely new pursuit.

[CAREN M · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very helpful and practical book for parents. I read it as part of my Biblical Counseling training. Bonus is appendix B with a quick biography on Charles Spurgeon.

[Adrienne · Rating 1 out of 5]

THE FAITHFUL PARENT
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Each child is different. I have heard so many parents say that what worked for one simply never worked for another. Something to the effect of: "I just tell Sarah no or give her a look, and she settles right down. But Rachel! Goodness! That girl won't listen until I..."

And even as an adult, I FELT that when reading this book, but not in a positive way. As Joe so aptly put in his review, the book often reads as pedantic. Further, as Joe mentioned about having his "guts ripped out," I felt beat over the head in the first few chapters. While the author mentions not using Bible verses to correct all behavior, focusing on successes and children's positive behavior, and modeling with action and behavior, for the first few chapters, a Bible verse is thrown at the child nearly every time he or she misbehaves. (For the purpose of this discussion, I am setting aside the sections about spanking.)

I get the underlying idea of recognizing the ultimate authority of the Bible in all aspects of life. But balance is needed here, especially for verbally-sensitive children. The author probably did not mean for the chapters to come across as so impersonal and robotic. I just know that, personally speaking, if someone had or currently quoted a Bible verse at me every time I screw/ed up, it would not go well. That does not mean that the Bible's authority is not recognized--it means that few people like to be preached at, especially in their times of weakness, including children.

Ultimately, I am a much bigger fan of showing--telling only when necessary--and even though I know that I am probably getting something out of this book that was not intended, the idea of leading by example did not come across in the book, at least to me.

[Kameron · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good book with lots of true, Biblical guidance for parents - remembering that the Lord has given us the task of "disciplining and instructing" our children. I appreciated the section on what it means for fathers to not "provoke their child to anger". There were a few points I disagreed with (spanking for all disobedience), but overall, anything that leads me to the Bible for guidance as a mom has my stamp of approval.

[Paul Sheldon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very helpful book. Not a be-all end-all parenting book, and that's probably a good thing. This work is thoroughly grounded in Scripture, and at the same time wonderfully practical. Peace and Scott give specific "how to's" for different age ranges and a variety of family circumstances without resorting to simple behavior modification. Throughout the book the clear message is that the faithful parent is one completely dependent on God to do a work on the heart of the child.

[Rob · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow - thanks for a wonderful book on parenting that is based upon biblical principles. Must read for all parents.

[Cody Gardner · Rating 4 out of 5]

While I do not have children yet, I found this to be a very biblical, thorough, and practical book on parenting. I'm sure I will refer back to it in the future. Great read.

[Dan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Even though I don't have kids, this book has defined my "parenting philosophy." Its the best I've read on the topic (which is more than you'd think for a single guy...)

[Seth Channell · Rating 3 out of 5]

The strength of this book is the specific information they give on how to parent at different stages of childhood.

[Kevin Lara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful little book.

I had previously read The Exemplary Husband by Scott, and my wife The Excellent Wife by Peace, and we were very edified by those two. So when I saw this book I got very excited. As a new parent I thought this book would very beneficial.

The book consists on mainly two parts, the first one being the biblical basis and goal of parenting, and the second one the more practical aspects of parenting. On the practical section, each chapter focus on a developmental stage of the child, starting with the infant, all the way through the adolescence. Finally the book finishes with some advice for special, difficult cases, like the single parent, or the blended families.

Obviously the main part of the book is the section on practical advice for each developmental stage. What I like the most about the authors is how ruthlessly biblical they attempt to be. Granted, they also give a lot of advice based on their experiences, but it is so encouraging to see how much this book (and others by the same authors, like the ones mentioned before) is filled with Scripture. Almost every advice, every proposition, in every page, there's Scripture.

The book felt a little rushed at times, like there was more that could've been said about certain things that I wish they would've addressed, but I guess they were trying to keep the book short, given that the book is addressed to busy parents like me.

In short, I think this is a great start as a parents resource. Not a comprehensive guide, but a great start. As new parent, I recommend this book.

[kyleesreads · Rating 3 out of 5]

📚 The Faithful Parent by Martha Peace & Stuart W. Scott

“The goal for the Christian parent is to be faithful to God’s Word by his grace and for his glory.”

This has been the number one recommended book on parenting and disciplining from friends at church. This book takes you through what it looks like to bring up your child in the discipline and instruction of the Lord throughout all the stages of childhood and I really appreciated how this book differentiated between what is a biblical command for parenting and what might be biblical wisdom in parenting. My favorite chapter was titled “Parents Who Provoke” and it takes you through temptations in parenting such as pride, anger, control, despair, perfection and how to avoid them. Overall a very traditional approach to Christian parenting with lots of hope, encouragement, practical tips, and biblical wisdom along the way. ❤️👨‍👩‍👦❤️

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Elevator Pitch: This book lays out the biblical guidelines and wisdom for both the discipline and instruction of your children.

Themes: Christian non-fiction, Christian parenting, disciplining kids, shepherding your children

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[Keri · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was oddly... a little too practical? Not theological enough? Some advice and insight that was excellent, but others I felt like either fell into obvious common sense or drifted away from biblical principle into specific methods (that may or may not work in your family.)

I wish they had offered a bit more biblical backing, especially for the more controversial aspects of the book. Probably could use a modern day update, given today's particular cultural battles in parenting...

Might make a good starting point for discussing with a mature believer, but insufficient on its own - a lot of focus on simply correcting behavior and only brief theological explanations for much of it. Might be discouraging if taken without a grain of salt. (It's a LOT of do's and don'ts...)

But I LOVED the (entire!) chapter on prayers and meditations when you're concerned for your wayward child's salvation. That was the gem IMO

🤷🏼‍♀️ Overall: Fell short with me. But still a few helpful takeaways to be gleaned.

[JM · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book advocates spanking infants for not obeying you and even for sinful attitudes. What?! This was shocking and sickening. It is suggested that an object will usually be needed to spank children as they get older. They seem to suggest that as long as you don't hit a child's face or stomach area and don't leave a bruise it is ok. The thought of a child being hit on their back, arms, legs, head, etc with an object is disturbing. Also, a parent could come just short of bruising and still leave painful welts. This is a misinterpretation of scripture. There is more, but that is enough for me to say please, PLEASE avoid this book!

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Things I liked: so much scripture! So much practical advice for all ages. So much encouragement for the parents. Wonderful prayers and even a whole list of things to teach your kids from the Bible.

Things I didn’t like: too many unnecessary anecdotes. I also didn’t care for this recurring idea that we should always be questioning our child’s salvation after a procession has been made. I understand using caution and discernment to determine whether or not the confession was valid, and I know we don’t want children to say things just to say them, but… idk, it felt a bit too pessimistic on that end. We should reassure our children in their faith if they make a profession.

[Samuel · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a strong and comprehensive look at biblical parenting as described in Ephesians 6:4–“Bring them [children] up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Peace and Scott cover the general principles of each age group well and keep the focus on the parents’ (and kids’) biblical mandates. I wish this book could have focused more development on some core challenges inherent within each age range, but the book is still an excellent resource.

[Mark Skinner · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book that can help you improve as a parent and help you look at decisions you make in parenting a little less critical and find ways to navigate the pain points in parent-child relationships. It has helped me look at raising our 15 and 9 year-old daughters differently with some of the points Martha and Stuart make with the writing and stories. Thank you. I look forward to reading more from the authors at how to improve my decisions and relationships with my wife and children.

[Cassondra Panzer · Rating 2 out of 5]

Basic understanding if you’ve been a true believer in even a short amount of time. Wish there was more pulling of scripture. They even believe in spanking. In the school age chapter, once spanking was mentioned (if your child doesn’t ask for forgiveness right away), I had to quickly skim. I didn’t read the infant or toddler sections because our youngest is kindergarten. So I don’t know what those chapters are about.