Howard Who?: Twelve Outstanding Stories of Speculative Fiction

by Howard Waldrop

This collection of twelve imaginative and occasionally disturbing science fiction tales includes the Nebula Award-winning short story "The Ugly Chicken"

Genres: Science Fiction, Short Stories, Fiction, Fantasy, Ebooks, Short Story Collection, Anthologies

181 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1986

About the author

Howard Waldrop was an American science fiction author who worked primarily in short fiction, with shorties that combined elements such as alternate history, American popular culture, the American South, old movies, classical mythology, and rock 'n' roll music. He received the World Fantasy Award for Life Achievement in 2021.

Reviews

[Megan Baxter · Rating 3 out of 5]

I find writing reviews for books of short stories really hard. I read quickly, so I tend to burn through a story before it's had time to seep into my long-term memory. This means that I'm not doing the kind of memory reinforcement that happens when I read a novel over several days - each new day helps consolidate things about a book in my head. With short stories, that second crack at it never comes, and I'm not really interested in reading each story twice just to combat this.

Note: The rest of this review has been withheld due to the changes in Goodreads policy and enforcement. You can read why I came to this decision here.

In the meantime, you can read the entire review at Smorgasbook

[Craig · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was Waldrop's first collection of stories; each one is prefaced by his comments, which I found both entertaining and interesting, and there's a nice introduction to the book contributed by George R.R. Martin. The stories are all remarkably diverse in subject matter and theme, mixing history and science and fantasy in a mad what-if? manner that go in all directions except what the reader expects. The twelve stories originally appeared from the mid 1970's to the mid 1980's in a wide range of venues, from small-circulation magazines like Shayol and Nickelodeon to famous showcases like Omni and Playboy, as well as more traditional genre publications like Orbit and Universe. My favorite is The Ugly Chickens, but virtually all of them are enjoyable reads to one degree or another.

[David Raz · Rating 3 out of 5]

I got this book as part of the Super Nebula Author Showcase Humble Book Bundle.

I'm not particularly fond of digital books, but they serve a purpose. I used to carry a physical book with me wherever I went, but I find myself doing that less and less nowadays. "Howard Who?" has served as my backup book for over a year, residing on my phone, patiently awaiting the opportunity for me to read a page here and there while waiting in lines or during medical procedures for myself and my family. I've always cherished the ability to escape into its pages. However, it also means that I sometimes read a story over the course of weeks or even months. For a story to endure such intermittent reading, it needs to be exceptionally compelling. Thus, please take my review with a grain of salt.

In the introduction, George R.R. Martin employs the word "unique" to describe Waldrop's work, and I wholeheartedly concur. Not a single story in this collection falls short of delivering in terms of originality, and in a world filled with derivative content, this is no small achievement. Attempting to categorize these stories as either science fiction or fantasy is a futile task, so I've simply labeled them as "fiction."

However, is being unique sufficient? A few stories in this collection can only be described as true masterpieces. I read "The Ugly Chickens" a year ago, and it will likely stay with me indefinitely as a brilliantly conceived and impeccably executed idea. There are perhaps a couple more stories I recall with fondness, such as "Mary Margaret Road-Grader." Nevertheless, the remaining stories fall short of realizing the tremendous potential behind them. Some start strongly but gradually lose their impact, while others never quite take flight. I don't envy the editors tasked with selecting these stories, but I'm grateful they made the decision to include them, enabling us to make our own judgments. I derived enjoyment from the majority of the book, so I would rate it 3.5 out of 5, rounded down to 3 due to GR limitations.

[Georgene · Rating 4 out of 5]

My son loaned me this book. As a loan, I try to get them read before books I own. So, I took this to bed with me, fell asleep with it in my arms, had to re-read 3 of the short stories (the sacrifices I make!) when I picked it up again. GREAT stories! This author has been around longer than I have and I VERY happy to discover him. Harold Waldrop has a lovely, warped style of writing. Please, if you find this book, READ IT!

[Don · Rating 5 out of 5]

There's a reason people call Waldrop a master. Not a single story out of the dozen in this collection failed to satisfy. They're the real deal, with imaginative plots and spot-on characterizations. Not to mention the risks he takes on theme and subject matter that pay off. When I finished the story "Horror, We Got" I thought to myself, Oh no, he didn't!. You'll either have to take my word, or check it out yourself.

[Christian · Rating 2 out of 5]

I concede that this Waldrop collection is objectively better than my two-star rating gives it credit for, but I just didn't enjoy it. Some really inventive ideas here, but I couldn't work up an interest in the substance of the stories once I got over the novelty of their premises.

[Tim Schneider · Rating 5 out of 5]

First things first. Howard Waldrop is a freakin' treasure. And if you're at all interested in genre writing and pop culture and you're not reading Waldrop's short stories you need to rectify that. Quickly.

Waldrop is a short story writer. He's done a few novels, but he's a short story writer, like Harlan Ellison was a short story writer. And his short stories are genre pieces, for all that they may have only the most tenuous connection to SF or fantasy (such as a very mild alt-history in Ugly Chickens). His stories are certainly better if you're well versed in both popular culture and in history in general. Because Waldrop does a lot of homework for a given story. And he's not spoon-feeding it to you.

Howard Who? was his first collection and has twelve of his earlier stories. For the most part I'm going to avoid any but the most cursory glance at a given story because it is way too easy to give too much away. "The Ugly Chickens" won the Nebula and the World Fantasy Awards in 1981 and was nominated for the Hugo and placed well in the Locus Poll. It's a small alt-history looking at the extinction of the dodo...it was later than you think. "Der Untergang des Abendlandesmenschen" finds William S. Hart and Bronco Billy fighting a nosferatu in Weimar Germany. In "Ike at the Mike" (nominated for a Hugo in 1983) Elvis is a U.S. Senator and Eisenhower is a aging jazz musician. "Dr. Hudson's Secret Gorilla" is a mad scientist/gorilla story straight out of a 50's B-movie. "...The World As We Know't" shows the danger of isolating phlogiston. "Green Brother" finds a young native American finding a very different spirit animal. "Mary Margaret Road-Grader" (Nebula nominee) is a post-apocalyptic look at tractor pulls. "Save a Place in the Lifeboat for Me" looks at the Day the Music Died through the eyes of some of our great comedians. "Horror, We Got" looks at the use of time travel to control the world. "Man-Mountain Gentian" introduces us to zen sumo wrestling. "God's Hooks!" is a very dark fishing tale. And finally, "Heirs of the Perisphere" (1986 Nebula nominee) is another post-apocalyptic tale through the eyes of very familiar animatronic theme-park characters.

Every one of the stories is just as fun and compelling as they sound. Do yourself a favor and read Howard Waldrop.

[Yegor Voronin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading through the reviews, I see people struggling with trying to give this book a fair rating and I totally get why. It's very hard to judge these stories. The best adjective for each is "unique". The ideas behind them are bold and unusual. The author clearly does his research into each topic and is not shy to show it off (which I found obnoxious in some cases), and he does not spell things out for the reader - you have to figure out the references and backstory on your own. These are brilliant stories, but somehow they mostly fall short as literature. The writing is not great and the storylines themselves lack the punch. So, you end up both loving them and going "meh" at the same time. Five stars for inventiveness, 3-4 stars for everything else.
But it's definitely worth giving this author a try, you won't regret it.

[Janice · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's really hard to classify these stories. The most famous one (The Ugly Chickens) is about dodos. There's a bit of alternate history (Ike & Patton as jazz musicians); there's straight up fantasy, where a sort of deity, in the guise of Rufus T. Quackenbush, sends unlikely heroes to try to save the day. Sumo wrestlers push with their minds. Mad scientists do mad scientist things. Izaak Walton fishes in the Slough of Despond. Et cetera.

They're not really anything like traditional fantasy stories, but they're fun. It's interesting to try to figure out where he's going with a particular story, kind of in the way the roman a clef novels are fun.

You gotta like quirky to really appreciate these. That works for me.

[Nick · Rating 4 out of 5]

This collection of a dozen of Waldrop's stories was a real treat. Until he was invited to be guest of honor at a local convention, I hadn't really connected his name to a number of stories that I had enjoyed over the years. Now that I know they were all by the same guy, I've been trying to find some of the ones I hadn't read yet.
Many of his stories are based on concepts of odd alternate worlds, and I greatly envy his ability to come up with such twisted ones.
The title may be an inside joke for people like me, who simply hadn't registered his name on our lists of really good short story authors, but I do recommend this collection if you like alternate worlds and short stories in some combination.

[Angela Kirsti · Rating 4 out of 5]

This collection was definitely a mixed bag. George RR Martin was right when he said the only thing Waldrop’s stories have in common is that they’re unique. I felt like a lot of the stories ended quite awkwardly, but I’m rating this rather highly for the ambitious nature of each story concept. For example, I didn’t especially LIKE “The World As We Know’t,” but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. This anthology also has some straight-up puzzlers like “Ike at the Mike,” which honestly reads like historical fan fiction, which I didn’t even know was a thing, but here we are.

[Sara G · Rating 2 out of 5]

It took me a while to get through this collection, because I had a hard time getting into most of the stories. Not sure why; they were objectively good and each was unique. Most had some kind of dark or bitter element, and I typically can run with that. Some have dated themselves, for sure. Anyway, I think the title is well-chosen, because I felt like the breadth of stories included provided insight into the author's mind. Call it 2.5 stars.

[Mjhancock · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's definitely a book to make you think; there are some absolutely excellent ideas here, though almost an equal number left me with a "wait, what just happened?" kind of feeling. It's a 3 now, but I have a suspicion that if I read the book again in a few years' time, it'll be much better on a second read. And it's worth a second read.

[Zach · Rating 5 out of 5]

Aside from R.A. Lafferty, there is no other science fiction writer like Howard Waldrop. His stories totally eschew all science fiction conventions. Here we have stories about cowboys and Nazis hunting Nosferatu, time-traveling Israeli supremacists, Indians reanimating T-rex fossils, post-apocalyptic tractor pulls, and more. Admittedly some of the stories don't rise above gimmick level, but being Waldrop's first collection, this is a forgivable sin.

[JoeK · Rating 2 out of 5]

Best to rate each story and maybe a bit of whay I thought so.
Story 1 Dodos 2/5
Story 2 Nazis & Vampires 2/5
Story 3 Jazz politicians & Political Rock Stars 2/5
Story 4 Ape Brain Transplant 2/5
Story 5 Bad Science 3/5
More later

[Tomasz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Howard Who, indeed. Howard who, sadly, died this January, leaving the world a poorer, sadder place. But at least we still have his stories (the ones he'd managed to sell), and "Them Bones", too.
Read this, really.

[Karl · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wonderful twisted short stories. This collection contains one of my all time Waldrop favourites HEIRS OF THE PERISPHERE.

[Alle Bücher müssen gelesen werden · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ausgesprochen gute Kurzgeschichten!

[CinnamonHopes · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you like whiplash, you'll like this collection of short stories by Howard Wallop. only a few make sense together thematically, but Damn are they Fun.

[Charl · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent, thoughtful, original, surprising . . . everything I look for in SF. If you like your SF with some thought behind it, read this colleciton.

[Jinx · Rating 3 out of 5]

A varied mix of short stories. I really enjoyed a few, loved another (Ike at the Mike), was mostly confused by several, and was horrified by one.

[Brian Gaston · Rating 4 out of 5]

Waldrop is often considered one of the most underappreciated short story writer in the field. This book proves why.

[Hardeep · Rating 2 out of 5]

Favourite stories:

Der Untergang des Abendlandesmenschen
Man-Mountain Gentian

[Mbgile · Rating 3 out of 5]

3,5

[le-trombone · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is Waldrop's first collection of short stories, re-issued by Small Beer Press, and bless them for it. I'm happy to have it, since I can't loan out my old Doubleday copy anymore, and any excuse to re-read Waldrop is a good one.

The Ugly Chickens (1980) can it be that the dodo still survives? Possibly Waldrop's best-known story.

Der Untergang des Abendlandermenschen (1976) almost indescribable. Weimar Germany, German Expressionist movie monster, touring cowboys. All of which pale before a truly monstrous movement.

Ike at the Mike (1982) an alternate biography covering Eisenhower's life in music as a jazz clarinetist.

Dr. Hudson's Secret Gorilla (1977) the brain of a man! The body of a gorilla! And...

"The World, as We Know't" (1982) the theory of Phlogiston is confirmed. But not well.

Green Brother (1982) The discovery of dinosaur bones in Lakota territory comes at a time when a young Lakotian is to chose his name, and his future.

Mary Margaret Road-Grader (1976) post-apocalyptic tribes and tractor pulls.

Save a Place in the Lifeboat for Me (1976) by now the phrase "almost indescribable" should be assumed. Movie comedy teams of the early 20th century come back to save rock 'n' roll legends.

Horror, We Got (1979) revenge using Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion as a template.

Man-Mountain Gentian (1983) sumo psychic wrestling and adultery.

God's Hooks! (1982) Izaaak Walton and John Bunyan go fishing in the Slough of Despond.

Heirs of the Perisphere (1985) three Disney robots activate long after civilization collapses.

Do you see the problem I have? Summarizing these stories in simple sentences is maddening, and doesn't begin to describe the strange combination of historical fact and cinematic fantasy that makes up his world. Waldrop has the ability to find the cracks in the historical record that he can put his stories in, or to totally subvert history with the myths that have grown from cinema (good, bad, and pulp) and fiction (ditto). All are entertaining, and grab the reader in weird and wonderful ways.

[John · Rating 5 out of 5]

An incredibly imaginative book, full of strange characters and ideas, tragedy and loss and a lot of humour. The famous 'The Ugly Chickens' concerns the last Dodo on the planet - only nobody knows that's what it is until it's too late. 'Save a Place in the Lifeboat for Me' has Laurel and Hardy, the Marx Brothers and the Three Stooges trying to stop Buddy Holly from getting on the plane that ultimately killed him. 'Man-Mountain Gentian' is the tale of Sumo wrestlers who fight using only their minds (and in one particularly funny scene involving a vegetarian, a hamburger). The other stories take in Nazi Germany, the Great Fire of London, Monster Movies and the plight of American Indians among other things. This is the kind of book to recommend not only to avid readers but people who've never picked up a book in their lives. Wonderful.

[Darrel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every time I pick this book up I seem to have forgotten how wonderful it is. Without a doubt, Waldrop is the greatest short-story writer I know of, and partially because he is willing to take such huge risks. The Marx Brothers, Laurel & Hardy, and Abbott & Costello traveling through time on the orders of God, to prevent The Day the Music Died? Yup. A post-apocalyptic tractor pull where license plates are traded as currency? Sure. A scientist who discovers the dodo may not actually be extinct after all, but living in the rural south? Why not. Waldrop can do it all.

Then again, nothing quite takes the cake like the audacity of "Horror, We Got."

[Ed · Rating 3 out of 5]

Howard Waldrop isn't a very well known SF author. I think it's because he doesn't really write novels. He mostly writes short stories and novellas, and he has won a slew of awards for them. His stories are very innovative, but, if I had one criticism, the stories sometimes have little going for them besides innovation. As with any short story collection, I liked some more than others. I particularly liked "Dr. Hudson's Secret Gorilla," "Green Brother," "Mary Margaret Road-Grader," and "Man-Mountain Gentian."

[Don Massi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Why haven't I read any Howard Waldrop before? Why haven't I heard of him before? Seriously, this guy's a master, his short stories are rivetingly quirky. Waldrop combines painstaking research, a wild imagination and sheer craft to give us a collection of some of the weirdest, most entertaining stories I've ever read. And while I liked some more than others, every story is a gem. This is an author I want to read a whole lot more.

[Katherine francis · Rating 5 out of 5]

breathless. There are no words to describe the depths of research that this man has done in order to tell a really weird tale. I loved this book so much. Each story was so random and odd-ball compared to the others--there was no connection, just beautiful weirdness with a lot of historical and cultural research to make it all seem so real.