Canned

by Franklin Schneider

Based on a series of articles from the Washington City Paper, the author, who has held every type of job, albeit briefly, in his search for a fairly compensated, fulfilling position devoid of pointless drudgery, humorously details his employment and unemployment history, revealing how to keep a job--and how to intentionally lose one. Original.

320 pages, Paperback

First published September 30, 2006

Reviews

[Ellen · Rating 4 out of 5]

A guilty pleasure. But I'm a Catholic, so that can be said about most things.

[Donald Mills · Rating 5 out of 5]

Modern civilization is a boondoggle, and nowhere is this odious truth more clearly illustrated than in the corporate environment. Schneider ably demonstrates the folly of sacrificing your wealth of time on the altars of greedy ingrates who will unceremoniously discard you once you are no longer deemed "useful".

[Shawna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I can definitely relate to this book, as I was out of work for an extended period and pretty much adopted a similar attitude as that of Mr. Schneider except not quite so nihilist. How I wish I had thought to vomit all over my prior boss in order to get him to fire me, or write a typo filled resume to ensure no one called and tried to offer me a job. Some of what he has to say really hits a nerve. The unhappy snacking, the petty squabbles of the office, constantly feigning a good mood and smiling at your bosses jokes, pretending you care when a co-worker comes in on your lunch hour and tries to start up a banal conversation.

This book will definitely make you think about the trade offs you make in life to keep that income in-coming.

[Chickens McShitterson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Canned is at once a combination of the intentionally provocative and infuriating and the gleefully anarchic, as Schneider pisses in the faces of the establishment under a rainbow constructed entirely of middle fingers.

In Canned, he crosses the line of decency repeatedly, then erases it using an unemployment check that he deviously obtains through manipulation of a system that clearly does not work the way it is intended. His brazen behavior appeals to my anarchic side, his extensive vocabulary to my literary side, and his abortion jokes appeal to, well, no one.

If he was looking to infuriate people, Schneider succeeded. If he was looking for cheap laughs, he succeeded again. If he was looking for a job, he deliberately failed.

[Brian · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought this was either going to be more funny or involve someone more sympathetic, but Franklin seems to take his inability (and unwillingness, most times) to hold a job as something laudable, and, well, for those who try hard and still have so-called "spotty" job history, it won't taste the same.

And it's not the same thing.

[Liz Voce · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was awful. I kept hoping it would redeem itself, but no such luck. If you hate your boss so much, then become your own boss. So glad I don't pay into EI (unemployment). That way I'm not supporting your ridiculous habits. Harumph.

[Fred Fisher]

No stars. I thought it was junk and quit reading after 10 pages. Way too crude for my tastes. Not worth my time.

[Mark N. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book dares to ask the question, "What is the point?" with regard to modern-day employment and leaves it largely in the hands of the reader to answer that question. He acknowledges that some will see the book as an exercise in self-justification, but he's not the first person to question the legitimacy of some jobs and/or bosses and/or employers and their negative psychological effects on the workers. Personally, for most of my life, I've been fortunate to have worked for people and companies where I generally enjoyed the challenges the jobs offered and rarely had a boss (with one exception) with whom I had a bad relationship. If the job wasn't fun in some way (and as Mary Poppins would say, sometimes you have to look for the fun) or if I found out I wasn't very good at it, I would just quit eventually. But I've never had a job where the pressure is constantly on, with a boss looking over my shoulder, to produce to meet some kind of quota. I marvel at those who are able to do such jobs; I don't marvel at the level of self-medication, i.e., drugs and/or alcohol, that seems to be a weekend requirement for people so that they'll be able to get it together again by Monday morning and start yet another week. The author has a low tolerance for such jobs, and, really: can we blame him? He recognizes that bosses never pay anyone what they're worth because for a profit to be eked out, workers must, of necessity, be paid less than the value of what they produce. One would hope that the geniuses of the age would be able to come up with a better economic system, but, alas...

[Duckfat · Rating 5 out of 5]

a hilarious shriek of protest

Filled with bitter rueful acid details and wild-eyed lucid anti-capitalist screeds, this book had me cheering, and laughing out loud, contemplating joining the author in his aspirational Berlin loft for a month or two of high literary debauchery. Highly recommended for anyone who has crouched in their cubicle staring at a computer screen wondering why … and for the few who have managed to escape. Your tribe has a spokesman, at last.

[Juneau Public Library]

A guilty pleasure read about the author's recollection of a series of horrible jobs, subsequent firing, and sucking off unemployment. Schneider's scathing sense of humor kept me laughing, especially when he is fired from a library for arguing over the classification of a book on the history of wrestling.

Recommended by Lynn

[L · Rating 1 out of 5]

It's hard to discuss this book without disparaging the author as a person, since this is a first person narrative of the author's despicable exploits. Presumably, a reader who enjoys Tucker Max would enjoy something like this. I am not that reader.

[Lorrie R. Jennings · Rating 1 out of 5]

Disappointing

Highly recommended for miserable individuals needing a expert advice on how to contribute to the continued misery of our society.