The Shadow Negotiation: How Women Can Master the Hidden Agendas That Determine Bargaining Success

by Deborah M. Kolb, Judith Williams

At last, here is a book that shows women how to recognize the Shadow Negotiation -- in which the unspoken attitudes, hidden assumptions, and conflicting agendas that drive the bargaining process play out -- and how to use that knowledge to their advantage.
Each time people bargain over issues -- a promotion, a contract with a new client, a bigger role in decision-making -- a parallel negotiation unfolds beneath the surface of the "formal" discussion. Bargainers constantly maneuver to determine whose interests and needs will hold sway, whose opinions will matter, and how cooperative each person will be in reaching an agreement.
How the issues are resolved hangs on the actions people take in the shadow negotiation, yet it is in this shadow negotiation that women most often run into trouble. The most productive negotiations take place when strong advocates can connect with each other. Good results depend equally on a bargainer's positioning her ideas for a fair hearing and on being open to the other side's point of view. But traditionally women have not fared well on either front. Often, they let negotiable moments slip by and take the first "no" as a final answer, or their efforts to be responsive to the other side's position are interpreted as accommodation. As a result, women can come away from negotiations with fewer dollars, perks, plum assignments, or less say in decision-making than men.
To negotiate effectively, women must pay attention to acts of self-sabotage as well as to the moves others make in the shadow negotiation. By bargaining more strategically, women can establish the terms of their advocacy, their voice, and at the same time encourage the open communication essential to a collaborative discussion in which not only acceptable, but creative, agreements can be worked out.
Written by Deborah M. Kolb and Judith Williams, two authorities in the field, The Shadow Negotiation shows women a whole new way to think about the negotiation process. Kolb and Williams identify the common stumbling blocks that women encounter and present a game plan for turning their particular strengths to their advantage. Based on extensive interviews with hundreds of business-women, The Shadow Negotiation provides women with a clear, insightful guide to the hidden machinations that are at work in every bargaining situation.

Genres: Business, Nonfiction, Communication, Self Help

256 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 3, 2000

Reviews

[Tré · Rating 2 out of 5]

When I read these "women in business books" I thought there were important. Almost 10 years later I find them insulting. Though I suppose they were a necessary step to get me where I am today.

[Charles · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book outlining some basic negotiation strategies - relevant for women and men. As a male reader, I found that the authors play to some basic stereotypes about men (and women), and would love to hear what some ladies think about this book. The authors clearly have a lot of experience and are knowledgeable on the subject of negotiation. A lot of negotiation happens w/o us realizing it, and this book brings a lot of that subconscious negotiation (shadow negotiation) to the fore and examines how we can use it to our advantage.

[Gabrielle · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting, fair and balanced guidebook for women on how we can use our natural inclinations for connection with others coupled with advocacy for our own needs to create a successful negotiation. There are some great pieces of advice in this book and I'm sure I'll revisit it again when going into a major negotiation. However, the authors presented several case studies in each chapter in a way that was confusing. The writing here was dull and dry and despite some gems of solid advice, struggled to keep me engaged.

[hh · Rating 3 out of 5]

for my gender, leadership, and management class. the book was alright. lots of anecdotes and examples. sometimes the answers seemed to boil down to something way too pat to seem applicable to real life. i found my attention wandering most of the time. but it did also have some good ideas in it.

[Judy]

Excellent, challenging points.