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159 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1988













'The trouble is, you get used to hell,' said Harriet. 'After a day with Ben I feel as if nothing exists but him. As if nothing has ever existed. I suddenly realize I haven't remembered the others for hours.'
She said to David, 'We are being punished, that's all.'
'What for?' he demanded, already on guard because there was a tone in her voice he hated.
'For presuming. For thinking we could be happy. Happy because we decided we would be.'
Around and around and around: if I had let him die, then all of us, so many people, would have been happy, but I could not do it, and therefore...
Luke explained. "They're sending Ben away because he isn't really one of us."
She felt rejected by him. They had always loved to lie here feeling a new life, greeting it. She had waited four times for the first little flutters, easily mistaken but then certain; the sensation that was as if a fish mouthed out a bubble; the small responses to her movements, her touch, and even- she was convinced- her thoughts.
‘The trouble is, you get used to hell,' said Harriet. `After a day with Ben I feel as if nothing exists but him. As if nothing has ever existed. I suddenly realize I haven't remembered the others for hours.’