True Confessions of a Lousy Bottom

by Gabriel Garçonnière

Real sex is not the stuff our fantasies and dreams are made of. Real sex is often messy and disappointing.

Gabriel Garçonnière, acclaimed gay erotica author, has penned his "true confessions" of sexual encounters from his younger years. But beware! There are no hot, rippling, horny studs here waiting to fulfill your every desire (well, not always). These are stories of real men and how it really happened.

"Sex is the one thing you can be really bad at and never really know it," says Gabriel. So join him on his journey of sexual exploration as he succumbs to the labels and positions that make up a gay man's bedroom, and then attempts to break through them.

You'll laugh with him, and more than likely laugh at him. But most of all, you'll probably start to wonder what you yourself are like in bed.

"We can’t get past our inhibitions without talking about it, but that’s just it. We don’t want to talk about it. So….talk about it." -Gabriel Garçonnière

True Confessions of a Lousy Bottom is definitely a different type of erotic collection, but without the smoke and mirrors, readers and fans are sure to love it. From a trip down foreskin lane, to an unusual (nonsexual) encounter with a pot bellied pig, Gabriel tells all!

Genres: Sexuality

70 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 27, 2010

Reviews

[Kate Aaron · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh my... if you're reading this for kicks, don't bother. The subject of this book is bad sex, which anyone who's anyone knows, always makes for the best stories. You'll laugh, you'll cringe, you'll recoil in horror, but everything that Garconniere writes is true. This is an honest, engaging and pragmatic account of the fact that sex ain't always romance-novel perfect. As he so rightly points out, sometimes shit happens. Literally.

[Vero · Rating 3 out of 5]

2,5 stars.
It was midly entertaining, although nothing ground-breaking or totally surprising.
The title is misleading by the way - the 1st person narrator is not a dedicated bottom, neither lousy nor magnificent. The book doesn't really have a stroy, it is a truthful sounding recounting of the narrators sexual encounters in the first 10 or so years of him being sexually active. There is no romance, love or anything else (which leaves it a bit of bleak and sad to be honest).
And yes, there are unappetizing details about anal sex - also not surprising for anybody who ever thought about the logistics of it or had anal sex before.

Following some rambling about sex, feelings and so on - only loosely related to the book, so I put it in spoiler tags.

On a side note: maybe I am a helpless romantic, but I'd rather read about some feelings then only the mechanics of good, mediocre and bad sex. And it is even sadder if it really is "true confessions" because that would mean that the narrator hasn't been in love or even had some serious crush on anybody until the end of his twenties.
I heard many times that gays are promiscuous and that they don't have real relationships, that they only hook up for casual sex and so on. Even from some gays themselves.
BUT I also know two married gay couples (in monogamous relationships) and have one acquaintance who lives together with his boyfriend of seven years (also monogamous). All of them say, yes, gays hook up a lot and have casual sex. But their living situation also shows, that this isn't a given. You can have casual sex, or you can choose to be in a relationship - same as for straight people (on a side side note: I hate the stupid claim that women don't have a sex drive as strong as men - this is bulls*it imo - I think women just weren't encouraged by society to let their desires be known, as men preferred to believe, that women only have sex for love and also because women can have sex 10 times a day, a feat quite difficult to match for one man - I think this stems from times when women were economically dependent on their husbands, fathers etc).
So I dislike the principle of labelling, not the content (I don't think there is anything wrong with casual sex - as long as there is no cheating etc.).

[Steelwhisper · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny as hell, a look at real life, had there been less typos and homonyms this would have been a 5*.