Never Tell: A True Story of Overcoming a Terrifying Childhood

by Catherine McCall

'I am six. We are sitting on the piano bench. Daddy's wearing his undershorts. That's all. I'm wearing my white underpants. That's all. It doesn't feel like we're going to make beautiful music'. Catherine McCall's father was a high-profile doctor, her mother regularly hosted bridge parties. Growing up in their beautiful, historic home, Cathy appeared to have everything a girl could want. No one, not the neighbours, the nuns at school or her beloved grandmother, could have guessed that there was a torture chamber in the basement of 763 Montgomery Place, or that Cathy was being raped repeatedly by her father. By the age of eighteen, Cathy didn't know she had repressed every memory of abuse. Twenty years later, looking after her now ailing parents, Cathy's memories begin to return. In this starkly authentic and utterly immediate memoir, Cathy describes both how she uncovered the horrific secrets she'd kept so well throughout her childhood and her inspirational journey to overcome them.

Genres: Nonfiction, Biography Memoir, Memoir, Abuse

288 pages, Paperback

First published April 1, 2009

About the author

Catherine McCall is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with 30 years of clinical and community education experience. She is a Clinical Fellow in the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, a member of the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health, and a member of the Speakers Bureau of the Rape and Incest National Network (RAINN). She is also a regular blogger for PSYCHOLOGY TODAY MAGAZINE, and a member of the Atlanta Writers Club. She and her husband live in a suburb of Atlanta, have reared four daughters and now enjoy eight grandchildren.

As an author, Catherine's intentions have been to raise awareness about issues relevant to child abuse prevention and healing, the effects of PTSD on marriage & family life, and current cultural issues related to child development. Her memoir, NEVER TELL: THE TRUE STORY OF OVERCOMING A TERRIFYING CHILDHOOD, is about her own experience as an incest survivor and patient in therapy during a period of her life when,while she and her husband were rearing their children, she was struggling with PTSD. In 2010 it enjoyed four weeks on the LONDON SUNDAY TIMES bestseller list. In April, 2014, it was re-released, in the US, in ebook and in May, 2014, in POD through amazon.

Reviews

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was fortunate to receive a copy of this book through Good Reads in exchange for my honest review.

Ms. McCall's memoir unflinchingly looks back at her horrific childhood which was filled with sexual, emotional, and physical abuse. The descriptions of the rape by her father (alcoholic, bipolar, with no empathy is his official diagnosis) are absolutely heartbreaking and nauseating, I read much of this book through tears.

What makes this book completely remarkable is that it isn't just a rehashing of family tragedies - instead there is beautifully written, reflective prose that truly illuminates what it is like to live in a household filled with these horrors. The confusion, the fear, how it affects her siblings and her mother.

Integral to the author's healing are the relationships with her husband (her childhood sweetheart) and her wonderful therapist, who help her navigate the minefield after her repressed abuse memories resurface. She bravely discusses how her adult sex life is crippled as the abuse comes to light, and how she battles her own body to come back to herself.

The book also touches on grief/dying, AIDS, dementia, issues of faith, cancer... this woman has survived it all, and learned to thrive through her own volition and strength.

The journey to healing is a beautiful and rewarding experience for the reader, and this book provides hope to anyone that is a survivor of abuse and desperately wants to reclaim their own power. I think Mental Health professionals should read this book as well, as it provides excellent insight into dysfunctional family dynamics also.

[Mary Wagner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Given the childhood horrors that Catherine McCall endured behind a façade of middle-class normalcy--repeated rapes by her brilliant but bi-polar father while her alcoholic mother stayed ineffectively on the sidelines, fragile and soddenly useless to her children--no one would have been surprised if she had died young, drowning her own sorrows at the bottom of a bottle of tequila. McCall survived the odds instead, and her harrowing and brave memoir chronicles both despair and ultimately survival and healing. McCall, who went on to become a family therapist, writes a mostly chronological narrative, and it is a very difficult read in many places. But step by step, as she marries her childhood sweetheart, raises a family, and eventually confronts the demons of her past (which were so searingly painful she repressed them for years until the memories resurfaced when she was forty), hope issues forth. One step, one year at a time, McCall details the generational costs of silence, the intractability of evil, and the light at the end of the tunnel. And for anyone whose life has been touched or marred by abuse, that light indeed is a beacon.

[Rebecca Allard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Catherine McCall has sent out a personal call-to-arms with her vivid, insightful and instructive memoir, NEVER TELL. Memoirs typically focus on the story the author wants to tell. McCall has told her story of horrific sexual abuse and dogged journey to a hard-earned healing. She has also done something more through her epilogue. Here she has widened her story to include us all in her quest to enlist the reader to become proactive to "contribute to the safety of children, the healing of sexual abuse survivors, and the restoration of virtue." There is a list of research data, support organizations, therapy organizations, and recommended reading (memoir, recovery, spiritual and professional). As a licensed marriage and family therapist, McCall is well qualified to point us in the right direction through her bravely rendered book, NEVER TELL.

[Roberta Dolan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Catherine McCall’s courage to face a childhood of sexual abuse is parallel only to her courage to tell the story. In a candid account of living with an incestuous father and dysfunctional family the reader watches as Catherine emerges from victim to survivor. Beautifully written, her words open our eyes to the destruction caused by sexual abuse and leave us with the hope that with courage, determination and faith healing can happen. Catherine’s story is a true testament.

[Natasha May Anderson · Rating 4 out of 5]

A now adult's memoir on her childhood where she was sexually abused by her Father. Both of her parents were alcoholics. This is how she overcame her childhood, and how the abuse had reflected well into her adult years, her own children & her siblings; one in which received AIDS due to abuse. An interesting read indeed.

[Lynda Atkinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

An amazing story.

[Shirley Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

A story well told.

[Becky Bilson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Interesting and thought provoking

Fascinating to hear the healing period and how each part impacted Catherine, I wish you continued happiness and fading scars from the trauma you’ve experienced. Your strength is incredible and your insights must be an incredible reassurance to those who visit you needing help

[Pauline White · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting

Harrowing account of mental illness, alcoholism, child abuse and coercion. Sad , so sad that some children live with this kind of scrap in their lives. This book is a testament of the help that can help you heal but it's a lifelong project.

[dawn philips · Rating 5 out of 5]

Astoundingly good

This book is horrific and no child should have to go through so much. What a strong lady to come through so much. A very honest book which details all her feelings through out her life

[CatherineAda Campbell · Rating 5 out of 5]

A stunning and true account of the nightmare the author was raised in, and the ensuing trauma that it caused. Written by a contributing author of Psychology Today, McCall's memoir reflects the recovery and healing she has done to reclaim her powerful voice.

[Ululani · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book along with Licking the Knife are two of the most traumatizing books I’ve read so far and yet I would read them all over again. Inspiring and brave and ever so heartbreaking.
Little girls should NEVER have to go through what they did much less be blamed for a grown man’s behavior!

[Betty W · Rating 4 out of 5]

She certainly experienced a horrible childhood.

[Ashly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received this book through a Goodreads giveaway, and I'm glad I did. It was an interesting read that opens your eyes to the horrors that are all too common in this world, and the author offers up ways to help, either yourself or others, at the end of the book. It was a difficult book to get through at times as the author doesn't shy away from detailing the horrific sexual abuse she endured at the hands of her father. This book takes us through the long and difficult struggle that the author went through in order to come to terms with the abuses she endured, the father that abused her, and the mother that stood by in an alcoholic haze. Somehow, throughout the book, Ms. McCall was able to also focus on the good memories she had of her parents and to use those memories as a way to forgive. Something I think few people would be able to do in this situation. I applaud Ms. McCall for pulling herself above the horrors that she endured and managing to lead a happy life.

[Kenneth · Rating 2 out of 5]

Book was really draggy. Was really bored and forcing myself to read on by chapter 5 and eventually gave up by chapter 7. I read a fair amount of abuse books and this was really draggy, it kept reiterating the point that her mother was delusional of her dad and his abuse. The synopsis of the book was really interesting though so I am sure the book is but I did not manage to get to the interesting parts. Just isn't for me, I guess.

[Patricia Kaniasty · Rating 2 out of 5]

This story primarily talks about the adult life of a woman who suffered at the hands of her father as a child. She talks about her therapy and religion and how they both helped her alot. The story took us through her life as an adult with kids of her own and how her life affected raising them. Overall, I thought the book was a bit long winded and had a difficult time finishing it. It became repetitive after a while.

[Deborah · Rating 4 out of 5]

This author withstood terrible abuse as a child but has managed to use her dark past and stolen innocence, to grow and become a better person. She has provided a gift to many, through her strength and resilience, by helping others to cope and to overcome their traumatic experiences. Well written and fast read. I applaud Catherine McCall's extraordinary bravery and wisdom!

[Maria Argent · Rating 3 out of 5]

Started off ok but too long thought it was never gonna end. Almost gave up but carried on and it was written very badly, got really muddled with it

[Helen]

I won this book in a free giveaway from Goodreads