This is my first 1 star read, and it probably won't be my last but this book has simply crossed the line into meaningless.
We start off with possibly the worst sentence: "So this is where I'm supposed to stay." Not really much of a hook, nor does it really garner any interest. The writing style itself is just horrible. Random, choppy sentences that are simple and short. I suppose there was supposed to be some kind of message put across with the way this was written, but I just couldn't find any meaning behind it. This book tried to get across a message. Key word being tried . I could tell what the message was: that life was meant to be lived, like pretty much all coming of age novels. Except this book simply doesn't really push the message across as well.
Possible spoilers (not like the book even has a plot to spoil anyways):
This story is about a boy, who's disabled, having partially lost use in the left side of his body. I don't know if this was a personal experience from the author, as the boy's name is the same as the author's. This boy is moving to a new boarding school because he absolutely sucks at maths and needs to get his grades up. He keeps getting kicked out of schools due to his bad maths grades. At this new boarding school, he makes a group of friends right off the bat. No real introductions made, they're just friends now.
His friends are very sex positive, joking about being homosexual and straight up 'screwing' the girls at the boarding school. Weirdly enough, the boy - Benni - actual has sex with a girl whilst they're both drunk in the toilets late at night. I know these are teenagers but the sexualisation and definite objectification of the girls was just... unreadable. I cringed at every moment and wanted to just stop reading. Because I hate myself, I carried on.
Benni then decides to visit Troy, one of his friends, and finds out that Troy wet his bed. Troy announces he wants to run away to Munich and stay there. Benni goes, 'we could go for a day and come back.' So they gather the rest of their friends and just leave . They meet some old man who literally invites them over to his house in Munich because apparently these kids just decided to leave the safety of the boarding school without a plan on where to sleep for the night. I question why they even followed this guy, are they not taught about stranger danger? Keep in mind, these boys are sixteen. I'm not sure if they grew up during the book, because there were massive time skips but they weren't indicated so a lot of the time I was just wondering if a week or month had passed or something. But, carrying on, they go with this guy, practically skipping, to Munich. On the train they read a book by Ernest Hemingway and they all cry. They talk about the meaning of life, then they proceed to go to a strip club. Strip. Club.
They're sixteen, and they're at a strip club. Which the old man lives on top of. And he says he goes to the strip club often. Uhm.
So anyway, Benni looks at the ass of one of the strippers and goes, 'I'd love to dive into that, and I know the others are thinking it too.' He even goes on stage as the stripper is pole-dancing and slips a bill into her pants. The other men at the club are like, 'who's f***ing kids are these?' and the old guy says, 'oh they're mine' and everyone just shuts up and continues to enjoy the show. Then, there's another time skip and suddenly it's the end of the book and Benni says goodbye to his friends and that's it.
A strange 'plot' point that was mentioned in the book was that Benni's older sister was homosexual and she would bring him to the lesbian hangouts to vibe with her friends. Benni, I think, mentions that he liked hanging out with them but it doesn't improve his relationship with women in general. I don't know what they were doing with this bit? I think they were trying to be inclusive after making fun of gay people earlier in the book. His sister is actually mentioned more than his parents but nothing is really expanded on except that Benni misses her.
One last thing I have to say is that it didn't seem really fair to completely trash Fat Felix. That's his actual name, by the way. Fat Felix, or 'Glob', is called Fat Felix because there are two Felixes and the other one is skinny, so they make sure to refer to them as either Fat or Skinny Felix. Felix really didn't deserve getting trashed on. Again, I realise they're teenagers, but Benni's bestie - Janosch - makes fun of how he's so fat. There's a little redemption here when Felix stands up for himself and Janosch keeps making the same comments, but tries to be a bit nicer about it. The real injustice was when the author decided to make Felix just obsessed with candy. This is not verbatim, but Felix says something along the lines of, 'I can't live without my candy, I need to bring it with me to Munich' and then Janosch says, 'Well you couldn't have brought a bigger bag? Now everyone's gonna spot us sneaking out.' It's actually kind of disgusting how Felix is treated and honestly them being teenagers shouldn't excuse them from their actions towards Felix. What makes this even worse is that skinny Felix, though he's part of their little friend group, isn't really mentioned at all and he has very few lines. This just makes it seem like he didn't even need to be put in the novel, that he was just put there to distinguish the other Felix as fat and to exaggerate how fat Fat Felix was.
Like I said, they try to talk about life and go all philosophical in this book, but it just doesn't work. At all. There's 175 pages to this book and there's barely any semblance to an actual plot besides them going wacko and going to a strip club to 'truly live'.
I'm genuinely perplexed about what this book was really meant to be about. Life? Having sex? Depression? Feeling trapped? Misogynism? Bullying? Ableism?
I don't even know. All I know is that the cover looks pretty and that's all it's worth.