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270 pages, ebook
First published August 1, 2010
"The way I handled things?" Elliot snarled. "Christ. You've got a complaint about how I handled things? You're the biggest asshole on the planet, but you've got a complaint about how I treated you?(…)
The problem was that his newfound acceptance, this hard won calm, was too much like his reconstructed knee joint. It still worked, after a fashion, and it was mostly pain free, but it was not built to withstand prolonged, extreme stress--and nothing defined Tucker Lance like extreme.
And he missed Tucker. He'd been missing him for seventeen months. Even though he'd told himself that there had been nothing between them but sex--and the profession they both loved--he still missed him, still felt like a huge chunk of his life had been ripped out by the same bullet that put him out of a job.
All that wordless searching and that was what he came up with? Typical Tucker. Throwing it right back on Elliot. His lips parted. Yes, it was too late. It was seventeen months too late. That's what he wanted to say, what his hurt pride goaded him to say. But if he said it now, it would be the end.
Let the games begin.
There was a terrible familiarity to it. A reminder that he had not forgotten nearly enough, nearly what he had reassured himself was far, far behind him. It was all there, buried deep but still flickering, like a short in his wiring, like an imprint on cell memory. Genetic code and the secret message was Tucker. The sudden unbearable sweetness of it made his breath catch and his eyes sting. Turned his guts to liquid with furious longing for that touch--that touch and no other.
"Yeah?" Elliot murmured. "What I want, really want, is to be f@@@ed. I want you to f@@@ me."
"Oh God," Tucker muttered. "I want that. I don't think a week goes by I don't dream about it. The way it feels to move inside you. The way your body grabs on like tight velvet. The sounds you make, like having me inside you is the best thing that ever happened to you."
Just the astonishment of being naked together again, of putting hands on each other again. There was something about it, the concession of placing your trust--literally your balls--in another man's hands.
"I don't recall you playing much tennis. As for the gymnastics…" His sexy browl of a laugh seemed to snag Elliot in the guts. "Yeah, you do have some beautiful moves as I recall. They didn't require a lot of footwork."
"Okay. Thanks for staying on the line. You'll be pleased to know I feel like an idiot."
"Try the engine."
"Now you're just making fun of me."
"Well yeah, but try the engine anyway."
The engine purred into smooth life.
"All systems go."
"Roger, Houston. Have a nice flight."
"I know," Tucker whispered. "There's nothing you can say to me I haven't said to myself."

and lucky me, he has a TON of books 
"And he missed Tucker. He’d been missing him for seventeen months. Even though he’d told himself that there had been nothing between them but sex — and the profession they both loved — he still missed him, still felt like a huge chunk of his life had been ripped out by the same bullet that put him out of a job."
)
, along with having fights again :D
“It’s worth finding out.”
Tucker was still looking at him, his expression unreadable. Elliot heard the echo of his words. For some reason it suddenly felt like they were talking about something entirely different.
“Sometimes you already know the answer. Sometimes it’s just not worth the bother.”
"He turned his head and Tucker’s big hand landed ungracefully on his shoulder, drawing him back as his warm mouth landed on Elliot’s.
For an astonished moment Elliot was aware of nothing but the feel of Tucker’s hard, insistent lips on his, the almost desperate pressure, the taste, the scent, the disturbing reality of Tucker’s desire.
The sudden unbearable sweetness of it made his breath catch and his eyes sting. Turned his guts to liquid with furious longing for that touch — that touch and no other."
"It wouldn’t be so bad if he wasn’t so conscious of the warm weight of Tucker’s arm, the hard strength of his torso and flank pressed up against Elliot’s body — if he wasn’t conscious of how much he wanted Tucker’s arm around him."
"Tucker strode in, bigger than life. That’s how Tucker always seemed: bigger than life. Just walking into a room he seemed to fill it, while at the same time emptying it of half the oxygen."
"Tucker embraced him with something close to ferocity. Elliot went with it. He hugged Tucker back, resting his face in the damp curve of Tucker’s neck and collar.
Tucker’s hard, muscular arms were wrapped so tight around him he could barely catch his breath. He could feel Tucker’s heart slamming against his chest — or maybe that was his own heartbeat."
Just loved, loved, loved them <3"Suddenly he wanted — craved Tucker like he’d wanted nothing in his life before. His hands slid into the softness of Tucker’s hair and he tried to drag his head up to taste his mouth again, he felt famished for the taste of him, like he could never again get enough of him."




Elliot was injured in the line of duty which took him out of his job. He was offered a desk job but couldn't bare doing the job he loved behind a desk. He's now a professor at PSU teaching history. He likes his job. He's not in love with it, but he enjoys it enough. He's kind of a loner. He's closed himself off since his injury. He interacts with his neighbor (he kind of forces himself on Elliot) and his father but that's about it. He doesn't attend any of the schools functions. He always has an excuse to skip out. But when a boy from his college goes missing and just happens to be the son of one his fathers close friends, he is thrown back into the world of his old job when he's asked as a favor to look into the disappearance. The lead on the investigation just happens to be his ex-lover Tucker. AWKARD! Things are tense and both men seem to be pretty angry at the other for how things ended. It took a while for things to cool down between them, but once it did they worked really well together. Eventually old feelings that never went away for either rears its head and soon the men are picking up where their relationship left off.
I liked that these guys had issues to work out and just didn't fall into bed. It was a bit of a slow burn romance with a strong mystery steering it along the way. I liked Elliot and Tucker together. They had great chemistry in and outta the bed.
The mystery is really good in this. JL has a great way of making you feel like your part of the case. But I would be a crap detective because I was completely in the dark most of the book about who the killer was. LOL
The suspense and mystery is good as it always is with a JL book. This author does good mysteries. I'm a sucker for these types of books and that is why JL is an auto-buy for me.
Highly recommend this one for those who enjoy a great mystery and doesn't mind the romance being on the side.
"If you even try to die, I’ll kill you myself."
'Don’t let’s ask for the moon. We have the stars.'
“All cynics are disappointed idealists.
The more stars in the eyes, the harder the fall.”

‘Tucker strod in, bigger than life. That's how Tucker always seemed: bigger than life. Just walking into a room he seemed to fill it, while at the same time empting it of half the oxygen. Elliot had never known anyone who took up more metaphysical real estate than Special Agent Tucker Lance.’
‘...as Tucker kissed him with those warm, almost tender lips. He closed his eyes, gave himself to the sweetness of the kiss.’
“If you even try to die, I'll kill you myself,”...’![]()
A-M-A-Z-I-N-G-!
5 HUGE AWESOME STARS!!!!
"Their mouths met. It seemed natural, inevitable. Tucker’s lips felt exactly the way Elliot remembered, tasted exactly as he remembered. For such a hard man, Tucker had a sweet, lush mouth.
"Suddenly he wanted—craved—Tucker like he’d wanted nothing in his life before.... he felt famished for the taste of him, like he could never again get enough of ...him. The hot velvet of Tucker’s lips had fastened on Elliot’s throat and he was sucking him, marking him..."
"His knee was killing him, was not going to support him for much longer, but of far greater importance seemed the erection shoving against the constriction of his jeans. Biological imperative."
“Yeah?” Elliot murmured. “What I want, really want, is to be fucked. I want you to fuck me.”
“Oh God,” Tucker muttered. “I want that. I don’t think a week goes by I don’t dream about it. The way it feels to move inside you. The way your body grabs on like tight velvet. The sounds you make, like having me inside you is the best thing that ever happened to you.”
Elliot moaned in response to that dark, seductive voice. His cock went stiffer still. “Yeah, like that,” Tucker breathed hotly against his ear. “Just like that. The way you spread yourself, spread your legs so that I can get at you and push so deep—”

"Surrounded by glistening pine trees, enveloped by rain and fog, for the first time it occurred to Elliot that his extended period of solitude just might be turning to loneliness."


"Christ. Only in academia did people talk such bullshit and expect to be taken seriously." (By someone who was a professor.)
"Mrachek, Leslie hovered in his office doorway." (He remembers students by how they appear on the roll sheet which is what made me laugh.)
"All cynics are disappointed idealists. The more stars in the eyes, the harder the fall."
"'I'll see you at five.'
'Wear something sexy.'
'Asshole.'
'That will certainly work.'"
