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Fatherless Generation: Redeeming the Story
What happens when givers of life give a lifetime of tears? Fatherlessness is written into the heart of our generation. It is heard in our songs, seen in our movies, read in our blogs. It is a story of shame, loneliness and rejection. A story that desperately needs to be heard. Fatherlessness is both a personal tragedy and a growing epidemic. Fatherlessness is the engine driving gangs, teenage pregnancy, drug abuse and suicide. The fatherless are all around us - but they are often missed or ignored. In Fatherless Generation , Dr. John Sowers How can the faith community rewrite this tragic story? This book calls us to take a long look at the issue of fatherlessness, and spurs us to move and to act.
144 pages, Paperback
First published September 3, 2010
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Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews
March 20, 2020
So much information, but in an easy-to-read format. This book helped me think about things a little differently. It made me actually think about reasonings behind actions. Sad situations and stories. It definitely will make you take a step back and think about people you’ve met and think if they had a stable family life. It will help you think of the people who deserve a little more patience and grace and maybe even who need to be loved. I would suggest this book to others to read. It is especially helpful if you are working in the ministry or even a classroom teacher. The book will help you better reach the students that you’re working with.
February 9, 2020
Tremendous book. A must read for Christians and Church leaders in our times. Practical tips and touching stories about dealing with a fatherless generation.
May 4, 2020
A very needy group is brought to light in this book. A brief history and how we got to this point as a society Is given and then the author shares statistics and effects of this. I have seen personally how a child/teen without a father, or with an absent father, an unspiritual, or an abusive father can have devastating effects on one’s life. They struggle so much more and carry sometimes unknown baggage into their adult life. Thankful for a resource that opens our eyes to their needs and how we can help them.
March 25, 2015
I didn't think I would get much out of this book, but I ended up highlighting a lot of it, nodding my head and saying, "Yeah, that's what it feels like."
That alone makes this book worth reading, because as the author astutely notes, fatherless children grow up feeling like they are the only ones with this gnawing hole inside. The walking wounded. Some will forever look in the mirror and see themselves as broken. Others will break the mirror and say to hell with it all, who needs a father anyway?
Neither approach works too well. To accept it, you have to feel it, but as you feel it, you can't get lost in it. It's a delicate balancing act. As the world turns, a war rages inside.
Everyone knows the statistics, and there are few in this book that anyone will find shocking. But for the fatherless, there is a shock of pained recognition in the boy who curls up with his father's clothes each night, pretending he is holding him. Pretending that he loves him. There is a shock of pained recognition at the many ways we have tried to gain our fathers' attention, the ways we have fretted over what they want, how to please them, what magic rabbit to pull from a hat and make them love us.
"Fatherlessness creates an appetite in the soul that demands fulfillment," Sowers writes. "... And in America alone, millions are starving to death. To live with father hunger is to live with the sadness of what will never be ... living with the knowledge that someone has chosen to turn his back on you. Someone has chosen to leave you. Someone has determined your value and decided you are not worth having around -- or that he would be better off someplace else, without you."
It's true and it's stark and it's brutal. It's something you feel long before you're able to put words to the pain.
And there is this, too:
"We are a rejected generation, left behind to pick up the fragile pieces of our broken existence. Confused, we grope in the dark for meaning, purpose, and hope. Alone, we hide behind machine and computer screen, projecting voiceless signals out into the oblivion. We grasp for anything that feels like acceptance but we are too afraid to open our hearts and embrace it for ourselves."
I cringed when I read that. Perhaps you did as well.
But this is not a book without hope. If anything, it may be a bit too cheerily simplistic, resting the solution squarely on the backs of mentors and Christians. But what of the children who aren't part of a church? What about the ones who aren't part of Big Brothers Big Sisters? What about the ones who grew up in an era when these programs didn't exist, an era when not having a father around set you apart as singularly odd, defective, and it was something you kept hidden deep within yourself, praying your friends wouldn't find out the dark secret that you are so unloveable that the man who gave you life and gave you his name did not care enough to know you and perhaps never even loved you.
It's awkward to be 42, still seeking love and acceptance from authority figures who are either unknowingly or unwillingly thrust into a mentor role. And so the setup for rejection is already in place, abandonment almost guaranteed.
Sowers suggests that how we view our earthly father is how we view our Heavenly Father. I'm not so sure I agree with that, but it does create a lot of confusion. How can one love you unconditionally and the other walk away? How can the Father that rules the Heavens allow His earthly stand-ins to be so thoughtless, so cruel? If one doesn't love you, how can the other?
It's a question this book doesn't answer. The first half of the book makes it feel like if you will just look to the Heavens, you'll see that your Father never left you. As a Christian, I understand that. But as that kid who dreaded Daddy/Daughter day at school, the one who fretted over my future wedding and lack of someone to "give me away," the one who tries to sleep through Father's Day each year because the parade of ties and golf clubs is overwhelming -- to that kid turned adult, looking to the Heavens mostly brings more questions than comfort.
I realize that the fault here is mine, not the author's. But I think it's important to note that this book is less suited to the fatherless and more suited to the men who aim to mentor them, to love them, to heal their bruised spirits.
Sowers proposes that the church is in a perfect position to train and unleash an army of mentors and father figures, and he may be right. Schools could serve this same purpose. In truth, any man who sees a child struggling or who sees the gleam that says, "I adore you. I want to be just like you. I wish you were my father," -- that man, too, is in a position to either be another who walks away or the one who chooses to walk the path that his predecessor eschewed.
If you grew up without a father in the home, you will possibly recognize yourself in this book. I can tell you this: The answers you seek -- the answers I seek -- are not here.
If you want to mentor a child, if you want to understand what it feels like to be fatherless, if you want to do something but don't know where to start, you may find a few glimmers of knowledge you can put to good use.
As you might expect from the foreword by Donald Miller, there is a pervasive emphasis on theology, with a Protestant slant. If this bothers you, this isn't your book.
Overall, it felt a bit shallow, a bit repetitive, a bit too morally heavy-handed, a bit too glib, but anyone willing to put forth any type of effort to solve this nationwide crisis should be commended.
As for me, I'm still looking for the right book. This wasn't it.
That alone makes this book worth reading, because as the author astutely notes, fatherless children grow up feeling like they are the only ones with this gnawing hole inside. The walking wounded. Some will forever look in the mirror and see themselves as broken. Others will break the mirror and say to hell with it all, who needs a father anyway?
Neither approach works too well. To accept it, you have to feel it, but as you feel it, you can't get lost in it. It's a delicate balancing act. As the world turns, a war rages inside.
Everyone knows the statistics, and there are few in this book that anyone will find shocking. But for the fatherless, there is a shock of pained recognition in the boy who curls up with his father's clothes each night, pretending he is holding him. Pretending that he loves him. There is a shock of pained recognition at the many ways we have tried to gain our fathers' attention, the ways we have fretted over what they want, how to please them, what magic rabbit to pull from a hat and make them love us.
"Fatherlessness creates an appetite in the soul that demands fulfillment," Sowers writes. "... And in America alone, millions are starving to death. To live with father hunger is to live with the sadness of what will never be ... living with the knowledge that someone has chosen to turn his back on you. Someone has chosen to leave you. Someone has determined your value and decided you are not worth having around -- or that he would be better off someplace else, without you."
It's true and it's stark and it's brutal. It's something you feel long before you're able to put words to the pain.
And there is this, too:
"We are a rejected generation, left behind to pick up the fragile pieces of our broken existence. Confused, we grope in the dark for meaning, purpose, and hope. Alone, we hide behind machine and computer screen, projecting voiceless signals out into the oblivion. We grasp for anything that feels like acceptance but we are too afraid to open our hearts and embrace it for ourselves."
I cringed when I read that. Perhaps you did as well.
But this is not a book without hope. If anything, it may be a bit too cheerily simplistic, resting the solution squarely on the backs of mentors and Christians. But what of the children who aren't part of a church? What about the ones who aren't part of Big Brothers Big Sisters? What about the ones who grew up in an era when these programs didn't exist, an era when not having a father around set you apart as singularly odd, defective, and it was something you kept hidden deep within yourself, praying your friends wouldn't find out the dark secret that you are so unloveable that the man who gave you life and gave you his name did not care enough to know you and perhaps never even loved you.
It's awkward to be 42, still seeking love and acceptance from authority figures who are either unknowingly or unwillingly thrust into a mentor role. And so the setup for rejection is already in place, abandonment almost guaranteed.
Sowers suggests that how we view our earthly father is how we view our Heavenly Father. I'm not so sure I agree with that, but it does create a lot of confusion. How can one love you unconditionally and the other walk away? How can the Father that rules the Heavens allow His earthly stand-ins to be so thoughtless, so cruel? If one doesn't love you, how can the other?
It's a question this book doesn't answer. The first half of the book makes it feel like if you will just look to the Heavens, you'll see that your Father never left you. As a Christian, I understand that. But as that kid who dreaded Daddy/Daughter day at school, the one who fretted over my future wedding and lack of someone to "give me away," the one who tries to sleep through Father's Day each year because the parade of ties and golf clubs is overwhelming -- to that kid turned adult, looking to the Heavens mostly brings more questions than comfort.
I realize that the fault here is mine, not the author's. But I think it's important to note that this book is less suited to the fatherless and more suited to the men who aim to mentor them, to love them, to heal their bruised spirits.
Sowers proposes that the church is in a perfect position to train and unleash an army of mentors and father figures, and he may be right. Schools could serve this same purpose. In truth, any man who sees a child struggling or who sees the gleam that says, "I adore you. I want to be just like you. I wish you were my father," -- that man, too, is in a position to either be another who walks away or the one who chooses to walk the path that his predecessor eschewed.
If you grew up without a father in the home, you will possibly recognize yourself in this book. I can tell you this: The answers you seek -- the answers I seek -- are not here.
If you want to mentor a child, if you want to understand what it feels like to be fatherless, if you want to do something but don't know where to start, you may find a few glimmers of knowledge you can put to good use.
As you might expect from the foreword by Donald Miller, there is a pervasive emphasis on theology, with a Protestant slant. If this bothers you, this isn't your book.
Overall, it felt a bit shallow, a bit repetitive, a bit too morally heavy-handed, a bit too glib, but anyone willing to put forth any type of effort to solve this nationwide crisis should be commended.
As for me, I'm still looking for the right book. This wasn't it.
October 15, 2010
In his book Fatherless Generation, Dr. John Sowers targets the issue of fatherlessness and thoroughly exposes it as a growing epidemic that exists so widely in our Present Day that its alarming effects, though not always immediately detectable, are deeply impacting the our culture in ways that are detrimental to its healthy survival.
The book is divided into two sections, in which Sowers establishes the issue of fatherlessness as a valid threat to culture, and then proposes a strategic and effective way to address the issue and effectually reverse the negative trends that fatherlessness yields. Sowers spends the first section of his book bringing the issue up-close and personal to his readers by delving into his own personal experiences and reflections on fatherlessness without too greatly narrowing the focus of the issue at large. He wastes no time establishing fatherlessness as a documented and recognizable contributor to a number of dangerous cultural and societal trends such as teen suicide and gang violence by including several statistical studies from a variety of sources. By the end of the first section, Sowers successfully presents a clear bridge that connects the path of fatherlessness toward a number of the negative trends mentioned in statistics.
Throughout the pages of the first half of the book Sowers makes it clear that there is no shortage of perfect examples of each of the trends and tendencies that can befall fatherless youth. He illustrates several trends with descriptive true-life accounts of from pro athletes, celebrities and everyday people who grew up fatherless and responded in the negative ways that he touches on. But what makes his arguments so powerful is that Sowers is able to relay to his readers a very potent and emotionally descriptive account of the conditions and internal issues of fatherless youth through his own personal accounts growing up without a father and how it shaped the course of his life. In much of his narrative dialog he identifies himself as a part of the very fatherless generation that he's writing about, and describes the perceptions and thought patterns such that he is actually speaking up on their behalf.
"We are a rejected generation, left behind to pick up the fragile pieces of our broken existence. Confused, we grope in the dark for meaning, purpose, and hope. Alone, we hide behind machine and computer screen, projecting voiceless signals out into the oblivion. We grasp for anything that feels like acceptance but are too afraid to open our hearts and embrace it for ourselves.
We are a generation displaced. A refugee generation, shuffling from one shelter to the next in search of belonging. We are a generation that desperately wants to be found, a generation that desperately wants to be home." (p22-23)
Section two, entitled "Redeeming the Story," explores the hope that Sowers has for successfully acting to reverse the effects of fatherlessness and redeeming the stories of those negatively affected by fatherlessness. The foundational premise of his proposed solution is twofold, and states that the wounds that are left from growing up without a strong father figure can only be wholly healed by the God of the Bible, and that men, primarily men of the Church, have a responsibility to come alongside the fatherless through "intentional, intergenerational mentoring" relationships to provide both support and a clear path to the healing that comes from the God and a right understanding of God.
Sowers develops his proposal in the context of The Mentoring Project, and mentoring organization in Portland, Oregon, of which he is president. The organization defines the mentoring relationship as "an intentional relationship with the goal of seeing the mentee grow and mature into a complete adult."(p.97) Sowers gives a detailed model of the mentoring program and describes how these types of relationships have the power to speak into the lives of fatherless the blessings and validation that God provides, which can ultimately heal the wounds of fatherlessness. By drawing on biblical references and specific accounts from The Mentoring Project, Sowers explains how identity and healing can be found in the blessings of God, as displayed in Scripture and as lived out in a community of supportive relationships. He argues ultimately that the answer to addressing the fatherless epidemic lies in the stepping out of men "who will pour their lives tirelessly into the lives of others." (p135)
As a whole Fatherless Generation presents an incredibly well-informed case for the deeply troubling effects of fatherlessness, both in the lives of each person affected, and in society at large. Sowers' personal experiences and beliefs are not omitted from the the content of this book, which is a huge asset to providing a deeply real and relatable depiction of fatherlessness, regardless of whether the reader grew up with or without a father. He also provides a very logical and convincing case that fatherlessness is a deeply personal relationship issue that is only successfully addressed in the context of deeply personal relationships. He does not at any point condone cultivating a sense of passive victimization, but, in the case of either a victim or one desiring to help, encourages a noble call to seek out help or to be that help respectively.
The book is engaging, compelling and a valuable asset to anyone looking to be a part of redeeming stories and reversing the effects of fatherlessness.
The book is divided into two sections, in which Sowers establishes the issue of fatherlessness as a valid threat to culture, and then proposes a strategic and effective way to address the issue and effectually reverse the negative trends that fatherlessness yields. Sowers spends the first section of his book bringing the issue up-close and personal to his readers by delving into his own personal experiences and reflections on fatherlessness without too greatly narrowing the focus of the issue at large. He wastes no time establishing fatherlessness as a documented and recognizable contributor to a number of dangerous cultural and societal trends such as teen suicide and gang violence by including several statistical studies from a variety of sources. By the end of the first section, Sowers successfully presents a clear bridge that connects the path of fatherlessness toward a number of the negative trends mentioned in statistics.
Throughout the pages of the first half of the book Sowers makes it clear that there is no shortage of perfect examples of each of the trends and tendencies that can befall fatherless youth. He illustrates several trends with descriptive true-life accounts of from pro athletes, celebrities and everyday people who grew up fatherless and responded in the negative ways that he touches on. But what makes his arguments so powerful is that Sowers is able to relay to his readers a very potent and emotionally descriptive account of the conditions and internal issues of fatherless youth through his own personal accounts growing up without a father and how it shaped the course of his life. In much of his narrative dialog he identifies himself as a part of the very fatherless generation that he's writing about, and describes the perceptions and thought patterns such that he is actually speaking up on their behalf.
"We are a rejected generation, left behind to pick up the fragile pieces of our broken existence. Confused, we grope in the dark for meaning, purpose, and hope. Alone, we hide behind machine and computer screen, projecting voiceless signals out into the oblivion. We grasp for anything that feels like acceptance but are too afraid to open our hearts and embrace it for ourselves.
We are a generation displaced. A refugee generation, shuffling from one shelter to the next in search of belonging. We are a generation that desperately wants to be found, a generation that desperately wants to be home." (p22-23)
Section two, entitled "Redeeming the Story," explores the hope that Sowers has for successfully acting to reverse the effects of fatherlessness and redeeming the stories of those negatively affected by fatherlessness. The foundational premise of his proposed solution is twofold, and states that the wounds that are left from growing up without a strong father figure can only be wholly healed by the God of the Bible, and that men, primarily men of the Church, have a responsibility to come alongside the fatherless through "intentional, intergenerational mentoring" relationships to provide both support and a clear path to the healing that comes from the God and a right understanding of God.
Sowers develops his proposal in the context of The Mentoring Project, and mentoring organization in Portland, Oregon, of which he is president. The organization defines the mentoring relationship as "an intentional relationship with the goal of seeing the mentee grow and mature into a complete adult."(p.97) Sowers gives a detailed model of the mentoring program and describes how these types of relationships have the power to speak into the lives of fatherless the blessings and validation that God provides, which can ultimately heal the wounds of fatherlessness. By drawing on biblical references and specific accounts from The Mentoring Project, Sowers explains how identity and healing can be found in the blessings of God, as displayed in Scripture and as lived out in a community of supportive relationships. He argues ultimately that the answer to addressing the fatherless epidemic lies in the stepping out of men "who will pour their lives tirelessly into the lives of others." (p135)
As a whole Fatherless Generation presents an incredibly well-informed case for the deeply troubling effects of fatherlessness, both in the lives of each person affected, and in society at large. Sowers' personal experiences and beliefs are not omitted from the the content of this book, which is a huge asset to providing a deeply real and relatable depiction of fatherlessness, regardless of whether the reader grew up with or without a father. He also provides a very logical and convincing case that fatherlessness is a deeply personal relationship issue that is only successfully addressed in the context of deeply personal relationships. He does not at any point condone cultivating a sense of passive victimization, but, in the case of either a victim or one desiring to help, encourages a noble call to seek out help or to be that help respectively.
The book is engaging, compelling and a valuable asset to anyone looking to be a part of redeeming stories and reversing the effects of fatherlessness.
September 22, 2024
This is so very true of what is happening in our society. Well written and researched. It's a great read.
December 10, 2012
Fatherless Generation; Redeeming the Story
By Bryon Mondok
The Good News
My family is under attack. So is yours. It's a concentrated spiritual effort designed to undermine our civilization's reliance, dependence, and turning to God. That's the conclusion you come to when you read Fatherless Generation, by Dr. John Sowers. "No longer do we have to travel abroad to make war. America is making war on itself," Sowers writes.
Sowers is the national director of the Mentoring Project founded in Portland, Oregon by New York Times bestselling author Donald Miller. Miller serves on the Task Force of Fatherhood and Healthy Families for Barack Obama.
The book is about fatherlessness. "Someone has determined your value and decided you are not worth having around - or that he would be better off someplace else without you." Sowers words are heart wrenching. They evoke an emotional reaction in the reader. "The Bible makes it clear that there is one who hears and acts on behalf of those who have been abandoned, a Father who longs to father a rejected generation," Sowers writes.
Sowers' book gives the reader a sense that he's duty bound to do something.
Sowers research shows that fatherlessness accounts for:
• 63 percent of youth suicides
• 71 percent of pregnant teenagers
• 90 percent of all homeless and runaway children
• 70 percent of juveniles in state-operated institutions
• 85 percent of all youth who exhibit behavior disorders
•80 percent of rapists motivated with displaced anger
• 71 percent of all high school dropouts
• 75 percent of all adolescents in chemical abuse centers
• 85 percent of all youths sitting in prison.
Sowers divides the book into two parts. In the first part, Sowers tells the story of fatherlessness. Rejection is the defining characteristic of the fatherless generation," he writes. The second part of the book is about redemption. Rejection becomes acceptance as Sowers makes heroes of the men who invest in the lives of fatherless boys. These are men who save lives.
Sowers wants men to know what it feels like to experience the gospel as a follower of Jesus. When men learn that living the gospel makes life interesting, they'll make life meaningful and interesting for the fatherless. They'll save souls as they redeem these cast off lives. It doesn't take a lot of money to live the meaningful life of a mentor, but it does take some will power to share your life with someone in need. And it will give an explanation for one's own past conflicts; a sense of meaning for one's history of pain.
Sowers peppers his book with excerpts from the fatherlessness embedded in the culture around us. It exists in the lyrics of songs written by Linkin Park, Everclear, Filter and Good Charlotte. Sowers invokes lines from Tyler Durden, the main character from the popular cult movie Fight Club. The hero - who is also the narrator - has a split personality and asks his alter ego, "If you could fight anyone, who would you fight?" "I'd fight my dad," the hero responds.
The fatherless generation is doing just that. Their expression of angst is rooted in an all out fight with fathers who've turned their backs on them.
Sowers book has an emphasis that is not only social, but has political and economic implications as well. "Our country is at a crossroads. If we continue to focus on the symptom - the rise of gangs and youth violence - we will miss the real problem, the reason why these gangs exist in the first place: absent fathers," writes Sowers.
In Fatherless Generation, Sowers quotes renowned worship leader Matt Redman who grew up without a father but had the benefit of many godly men who taught Matt to be a man: "In 1 Corinthians 4:15, Paul comments that the Corinthians have had many teachers in Christ - but not many fathers. I'm grateful that this has never been my experience. Though I grew up without a father, I was blessed with an abundance of older guys who invested into my life..."
If men step up and step in, prisons will shut down because less young men will end up there. Godly men mentoring the fatherless can turn a generation around.
"Children with mentors are 46 percent less likely to do drugs, 33 percent less likely to resort in violence, 53 percent less likely to drop out of school, and 59 percent more likely to improve their grades. One-to-one mentoring has also been shown to lower the rates of teen pregnancy, suicide, and gang involvement in communities," he adds.
This book is written to men who want to change their communities and a generation of fatherless boys. Whether you came from a home with or without a father, this book will have a deep and necessary impact. It takes about two and a half hours to read. This small investment of time could end up changing and fulfilling the life of a boy you know if you heed Sowers' call to action.
Author: John Sowers
Grand Rapids, Zondervan, 2010
Number of pages, photos and/or maps: 143
http://goodnewsfl.org/christian-news/...
By Bryon Mondok
The Good News
My family is under attack. So is yours. It's a concentrated spiritual effort designed to undermine our civilization's reliance, dependence, and turning to God. That's the conclusion you come to when you read Fatherless Generation, by Dr. John Sowers. "No longer do we have to travel abroad to make war. America is making war on itself," Sowers writes.
Sowers is the national director of the Mentoring Project founded in Portland, Oregon by New York Times bestselling author Donald Miller. Miller serves on the Task Force of Fatherhood and Healthy Families for Barack Obama.
The book is about fatherlessness. "Someone has determined your value and decided you are not worth having around - or that he would be better off someplace else without you." Sowers words are heart wrenching. They evoke an emotional reaction in the reader. "The Bible makes it clear that there is one who hears and acts on behalf of those who have been abandoned, a Father who longs to father a rejected generation," Sowers writes.
Sowers' book gives the reader a sense that he's duty bound to do something.
Sowers research shows that fatherlessness accounts for:
• 63 percent of youth suicides
• 71 percent of pregnant teenagers
• 90 percent of all homeless and runaway children
• 70 percent of juveniles in state-operated institutions
• 85 percent of all youth who exhibit behavior disorders
•80 percent of rapists motivated with displaced anger
• 71 percent of all high school dropouts
• 75 percent of all adolescents in chemical abuse centers
• 85 percent of all youths sitting in prison.
Sowers divides the book into two parts. In the first part, Sowers tells the story of fatherlessness. Rejection is the defining characteristic of the fatherless generation," he writes. The second part of the book is about redemption. Rejection becomes acceptance as Sowers makes heroes of the men who invest in the lives of fatherless boys. These are men who save lives.
Sowers wants men to know what it feels like to experience the gospel as a follower of Jesus. When men learn that living the gospel makes life interesting, they'll make life meaningful and interesting for the fatherless. They'll save souls as they redeem these cast off lives. It doesn't take a lot of money to live the meaningful life of a mentor, but it does take some will power to share your life with someone in need. And it will give an explanation for one's own past conflicts; a sense of meaning for one's history of pain.
Sowers peppers his book with excerpts from the fatherlessness embedded in the culture around us. It exists in the lyrics of songs written by Linkin Park, Everclear, Filter and Good Charlotte. Sowers invokes lines from Tyler Durden, the main character from the popular cult movie Fight Club. The hero - who is also the narrator - has a split personality and asks his alter ego, "If you could fight anyone, who would you fight?" "I'd fight my dad," the hero responds.
The fatherless generation is doing just that. Their expression of angst is rooted in an all out fight with fathers who've turned their backs on them.
Sowers book has an emphasis that is not only social, but has political and economic implications as well. "Our country is at a crossroads. If we continue to focus on the symptom - the rise of gangs and youth violence - we will miss the real problem, the reason why these gangs exist in the first place: absent fathers," writes Sowers.
In Fatherless Generation, Sowers quotes renowned worship leader Matt Redman who grew up without a father but had the benefit of many godly men who taught Matt to be a man: "In 1 Corinthians 4:15, Paul comments that the Corinthians have had many teachers in Christ - but not many fathers. I'm grateful that this has never been my experience. Though I grew up without a father, I was blessed with an abundance of older guys who invested into my life..."
If men step up and step in, prisons will shut down because less young men will end up there. Godly men mentoring the fatherless can turn a generation around.
"Children with mentors are 46 percent less likely to do drugs, 33 percent less likely to resort in violence, 53 percent less likely to drop out of school, and 59 percent more likely to improve their grades. One-to-one mentoring has also been shown to lower the rates of teen pregnancy, suicide, and gang involvement in communities," he adds.
This book is written to men who want to change their communities and a generation of fatherless boys. Whether you came from a home with or without a father, this book will have a deep and necessary impact. It takes about two and a half hours to read. This small investment of time could end up changing and fulfilling the life of a boy you know if you heed Sowers' call to action.
Author: John Sowers
Grand Rapids, Zondervan, 2010
Number of pages, photos and/or maps: 143
http://goodnewsfl.org/christian-news/...
February 15, 2011
It took me awhile to finish this book, for no good reason. I kept getting distracted, but it was insightful and important. I would recommend it to about anyone because I think the issue of fatherlessness is real. If nothing else check out www.thementoringproject.org to see about the work being done to address fatherlessness. Spearheaded by John Sowers and Donald Miller.
October 27, 2010
This is the best book I've reviewed in a while. Very important message. I want to buy a thousand copies and give one to everyone I know.
October 4, 2022
John Sowers presenta una tesis que muchas veces ignoramos: "Una generación sin padres es una generación propensa al desastre". Dicha tesis la fundamenta de dos maneras: 1- Con las estadísticas que se refieren a la sociedad y lo propensos que son los adolescentes sin papá en casa a caer en drogas, alcoholismo, embarazos prematuros, violencia y maras. 2- Una base Bíblica de la importancia de la familia como centro del desarrollo de la persona.
Pero la segunda tesis de Sowers es todavía más importante: "La iglesia está llamada a cuidar de esta generación sin padres." Él presenta su plan ministerial de mentoreo de chicos sin papá. Es un muy buen plan porque básicamente es discipulado.
Tres cosas que no me agradaron mucho del libro:
1- En ocasiones la base teológica de Sowers es débil. Más usa los pasajes como analogías y sacándolos de su contexto para justificar sus tesis.
2- El involucramiento de la comunidad de fe es un punto fundamental al que le dedica poco espacio (7 páginas)
3- Sowers pone demasiada esperanza y carga sobre la iglesia. Casi luce como si Dios no iría a hacer nada sin nosotros.
Pero la segunda tesis de Sowers es todavía más importante: "La iglesia está llamada a cuidar de esta generación sin padres." Él presenta su plan ministerial de mentoreo de chicos sin papá. Es un muy buen plan porque básicamente es discipulado.
Tres cosas que no me agradaron mucho del libro:
1- En ocasiones la base teológica de Sowers es débil. Más usa los pasajes como analogías y sacándolos de su contexto para justificar sus tesis.
2- El involucramiento de la comunidad de fe es un punto fundamental al que le dedica poco espacio (7 páginas)
3- Sowers pone demasiada esperanza y carga sobre la iglesia. Casi luce como si Dios no iría a hacer nada sin nosotros.
October 11, 2010
The story of the fatherless generation is unfolding all around us. Some parts of the story are being told by the children growing up in fatherless homes, while other parts of the story are being told by the once fatherless children who are now adults. You can hear the cry of the fatherless in their songs, see it in their movies, and read about it on their blogs. “Pop culture captures the dying voice of this generation. In it, we hear poets and prophets crying out for hope in the midst of ruin. Pop culture is a warped mirror of our lives. And if we can just pause to listen, we hear a song of despair rising from the ashes.” (p. 20). While no two stories are exactly alike, there is a common thread of abandonment and pain that comes through in each of them. Although the absence of the father has become commonplace in our culture, it should not be accepted as a normal part of family life. Just because society deems it as normal, does not take away the rejection and debilitating pain felt by the fatherless children. The cry of the fatherless generation needs to be heard and needs to be taken seriously. This new book is giving them a voice.
John Sowers’ new book Fatherless Generation: Redeeming the Story is a book that has been several years in the making. The main catalyst for this book was set in motion back in January 2008. John posted on his MySpace blog asking people to share their stories and experiences of growing up without a father. He was surprised to receive thousands of responses from all over the world. As the number of responses continued to grow, he realized that he had touched on something that has deeply affected an entire generation. This book is his response to their stories.
Fatherless Generation is broken up into two parts. The first part of the book connects the reader with the stories of the fatherless. Over the course of the first six chapters John shares parts of his own story as well as other stories he has learned from his friends and acquaintances and also many of the stories that were shared in response to his original blog post. Through these stories, John illustrates the vast array of emotions experienced by the fatherless as well as the many personal and social problems (i.e. anger, depression, promiscuity, drug abuse, low self-esteem, etc.) they experience as well. With no intervention these same fragile and troubled children will often turn into fragile and troubled adults. Is there any hope? John Sowers believes there is and that is what he presents in the second half of the book.
The remaining eight chapters of the book are a call to action on behalf of the fatherless, a call to mentorship. John Sowers is the president of The Mentoring Project. Their vision as an organization “is to equip and support one thousand churches, which will mobilize ten thousand men and inspire them to become mentors to this fatherless generation of boys.” (p. 96). Using a three part process of loving, modeling, and coaching, these mentors are greatly impacting the lives of fatherless children. God is calling potential mentors to take seriously the plight of the orphan and to help Him rewrite “the broken story of a generation.” (p. 88). A generation that “is an Esau generation–a generation that has lost its birthright and is longing for the father’s blessing, but the fathers of this generation can no longer bless them because they are gone . While this is a tragic reality, it is also a great opportunity to bring healing and reconciliation.” (p. 118). Will you answer the call?
As an adult who grew up as a part of the fatherless generation, I am sincerely grateful to John Sowers’ work at The Mentoring Project and the awareness he is raising about the dire need of the fatherless children in this book. This problem is reaching critical mass in the culture around us and without the church rising up and answering this call, the results will continue to be more and more disastrous. Should this book ever go into a second edition, I would encourage the addition of a chapter addressing some of the challenges faced by the fatherless children who have grown up to become fathers themselves. If this sounds like you, my strong caution is that you need to put your own house in order, ensuring that the mentoring and discipling of your own children is well underway before venturing off to help mentor the fatherless children. It would be a shame to lose your own kids in the process.
Let me close by saying that Fatherless Generation: Redeeming the Story is a timely book that is much needed for this specific time in history. I highly recommend this book for anybody who wants to learn more about the plight of the fatherless. Christian men and women who have a heart for this younger generation should prayerfully read through this book and see if God would call them to be a part of His plan for reconciling this great tragedy.
Author Info:
Dr. John Sowers is president of The Mentoring Project, a movement that exists to inspire and equip the faith community to provide mentors for the fatherless. He has also been part of the White House Task Force conversation on Fatherhood and Healthy Families. John received his Masters of Divinity degree from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School and graduated from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, where he wrote his doctoral thesis on the crisis of fatherlessness. John and his wife, Kari, reside in Portland, Oregon.
Disclaimer:
This book was provided by Zondervan for review. The reviewer was under no obligation to offer a favorable review.
John Sowers’ new book Fatherless Generation: Redeeming the Story is a book that has been several years in the making. The main catalyst for this book was set in motion back in January 2008. John posted on his MySpace blog asking people to share their stories and experiences of growing up without a father. He was surprised to receive thousands of responses from all over the world. As the number of responses continued to grow, he realized that he had touched on something that has deeply affected an entire generation. This book is his response to their stories.
Fatherless Generation is broken up into two parts. The first part of the book connects the reader with the stories of the fatherless. Over the course of the first six chapters John shares parts of his own story as well as other stories he has learned from his friends and acquaintances and also many of the stories that were shared in response to his original blog post. Through these stories, John illustrates the vast array of emotions experienced by the fatherless as well as the many personal and social problems (i.e. anger, depression, promiscuity, drug abuse, low self-esteem, etc.) they experience as well. With no intervention these same fragile and troubled children will often turn into fragile and troubled adults. Is there any hope? John Sowers believes there is and that is what he presents in the second half of the book.
The remaining eight chapters of the book are a call to action on behalf of the fatherless, a call to mentorship. John Sowers is the president of The Mentoring Project. Their vision as an organization “is to equip and support one thousand churches, which will mobilize ten thousand men and inspire them to become mentors to this fatherless generation of boys.” (p. 96). Using a three part process of loving, modeling, and coaching, these mentors are greatly impacting the lives of fatherless children. God is calling potential mentors to take seriously the plight of the orphan and to help Him rewrite “the broken story of a generation.” (p. 88). A generation that “is an Esau generation–a generation that has lost its birthright and is longing for the father’s blessing, but the fathers of this generation can no longer bless them because they are gone . While this is a tragic reality, it is also a great opportunity to bring healing and reconciliation.” (p. 118). Will you answer the call?
As an adult who grew up as a part of the fatherless generation, I am sincerely grateful to John Sowers’ work at The Mentoring Project and the awareness he is raising about the dire need of the fatherless children in this book. This problem is reaching critical mass in the culture around us and without the church rising up and answering this call, the results will continue to be more and more disastrous. Should this book ever go into a second edition, I would encourage the addition of a chapter addressing some of the challenges faced by the fatherless children who have grown up to become fathers themselves. If this sounds like you, my strong caution is that you need to put your own house in order, ensuring that the mentoring and discipling of your own children is well underway before venturing off to help mentor the fatherless children. It would be a shame to lose your own kids in the process.
Let me close by saying that Fatherless Generation: Redeeming the Story is a timely book that is much needed for this specific time in history. I highly recommend this book for anybody who wants to learn more about the plight of the fatherless. Christian men and women who have a heart for this younger generation should prayerfully read through this book and see if God would call them to be a part of His plan for reconciling this great tragedy.
Author Info:
Dr. John Sowers is president of The Mentoring Project, a movement that exists to inspire and equip the faith community to provide mentors for the fatherless. He has also been part of the White House Task Force conversation on Fatherhood and Healthy Families. John received his Masters of Divinity degree from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School and graduated from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, where he wrote his doctoral thesis on the crisis of fatherlessness. John and his wife, Kari, reside in Portland, Oregon.
Disclaimer:
This book was provided by Zondervan for review. The reviewer was under no obligation to offer a favorable review.
July 20, 2022
Os dados sobre as consequências maléficas da ausência de um pai nos EUA são muito eloquentes (por exemplo, 63% dos suicídios entre jovens ocorrem em famílias sem pais, cinco vezes acima da média; e 71% das adolescentes grávidas não têm um pai presente). O autor apresenta esse quadro a partir de histórias reais, coletadas depois de iniciar um blog sobre o assunto, e dá sugestões para melhorar a vida de quem não teve pai (ou quer evitar o mesmo destino para seus filhos) a partir da religião.
April 16, 2024
This book is just really well done. Practical and informative, yet also matter-of-fact suggestive of ways we can help share the love of our Father with young people who’ve lost their earthly fathers. I’ve been contemplating writing another book on ‘mentorship’ for young people, this is a great model and a great place to start if you’re new to reading about the plight of the fatherless in our country. Thank you, John Sowers.
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August 18, 2020Fatherless homes a tragedy of our times, though, if communities stand together, they can help and guide these sons to become the best they can be, take their rightful place in their communities end society. A sheer inspirational book.
November 10, 2013
Fatherless Generation, which is the product of the author's graduate studies on the topic, makes a strong argument in the first half of this short little book, that "fatherlessness is plaguing this country." Having lost my father to meningitis at the age of 6, it didn't take much for Sowers to convince me of the profoundly negative impact of growing up without a father. Even though I didn't have to live with the hurt and rejection that most kids growing up without a dad face, I still found myself constantly seeking the approval that I wasn't able to get from my dad. Fortunately I had a family that loved me and encouraged me to look to God to fulfill that void, and I was blessed to have a mentor enter my life when I started the 7th grade, who stuck with me till I graduated high school and consistently modeled for me what it meant to be a husband, and a father and a friend. But even with a loving family, and a consistent mentor, it was and is still difficult. So I wasn't surprised at all to read some of the statistics that were shared in this book, such as these: "Fatherless homes account for 63 percent of youth suicides, 71 percent of pregnant teenagers,...(and)85 percent of all youths sitting in prison." Along with his research, Sowers also shares from his own experience of growing up without a father, as he makes a compelling argument that this is an issue that needs to be addressed or it will only get worse. Fortunately he doesn't stop there. The latter half of the book, he shares not only his ideas for how to tackle this huge problem, but also what he and his organization, The Mentoring Project, are already doing to make a difference. Adhering to the belief that it is "better to build boys than mend men." Sowers proposes that the unconditional love and acceptance from our heavenly Father is the answer, and that the best tactic to help the fatherless generation receive and accept that love is through mentoring. He makes the assertion that "a mentor's presence in the life of a young person declares to him or her, 'You are not rejected. You are important and valuable - you matter.'" And he finishes the book with some good info on how to be a good and effective mentor.
I was hoping for a little more depth on the problem of fatherlessness. Would have liked to have seen more of his research or more details on what his organization is doing to make a change. Having already been convinced of premise of this book before reading it, I found it to be a little underwhelming. But if this is an issue you haven't put much thought into, or if mentoring isn't already a big part of your life, I can't recommend this book more.
I was hoping for a little more depth on the problem of fatherlessness. Would have liked to have seen more of his research or more details on what his organization is doing to make a change. Having already been convinced of premise of this book before reading it, I found it to be a little underwhelming. But if this is an issue you haven't put much thought into, or if mentoring isn't already a big part of your life, I can't recommend this book more.
Read
February 12, 2018Fatherless Generation is John Sowers' manifesto against the rising epidemic of fatherlessness that is sweeping our nation. Interweaving his personal story with statistics, somber prose, and stories culled from his blog on the same topic, Sowers is able to convey his own urgency onto readers.
Fatherless Generation explains the devastating effects of not having father. He details the different reactions that boys and girls have when they are left without a father. He also uses examples from celebrities such as Kelly Clarkson and Jeremy Shockey, who tell their own stories of growing up without a father.
But Sowers does more than just point out the problem. As head of The Mentoring Project, Sowers is well-versed with methods that can help fatherless children, and he offers plenty of solutions in this book. This is a great read for anyone who wants to get involved in a kid's life.
Fatherless Generation explains the devastating effects of not having father. He details the different reactions that boys and girls have when they are left without a father. He also uses examples from celebrities such as Kelly Clarkson and Jeremy Shockey, who tell their own stories of growing up without a father.
But Sowers does more than just point out the problem. As head of The Mentoring Project, Sowers is well-versed with methods that can help fatherless children, and he offers plenty of solutions in this book. This is a great read for anyone who wants to get involved in a kid's life.
August 12, 2016
Such a powerful book and picture of America. You read this book and quickly realize how profound and how devastating fatherlessness has gripped this country. I know this book began as Sowers' thesis and therefore had a good amount of research involved in the writing which was invaluable. I've shared the statistics that he shared with many people during times that I've preached because they are just that astounding. Somehow at the heart of so many ailments is this root cause of fatherlessness. I love what Dr. Sowers is doing through the mentoring project and seeing people empowered to come alongside kids in need. Great read and an important read for all.
August 10, 2016
Western Civilization's Crumbling Foundation
The role of fathers cannot be overstated. Single mothering as a woman's choice is a bankrupt notion, as is "gay parenting." This book shows what happens when men fail or are shoved out as fathers. It's not pretty. The hope for the future lies in mentoring relationships with children lacking a father figure. But an even greater hope lies in parents embracing and empowering real fatherhood as an essential need for every child.
The role of fathers cannot be overstated. Single mothering as a woman's choice is a bankrupt notion, as is "gay parenting." This book shows what happens when men fail or are shoved out as fathers. It's not pretty. The hope for the future lies in mentoring relationships with children lacking a father figure. But an even greater hope lies in parents embracing and empowering real fatherhood as an essential need for every child.
March 12, 2012
This was a simple book written to address fatherlessness in our times. While its observations were fairly simple, they were sustained by reliable statistics and illustrated well. It really brought to life the prevalent need of mentors that many of our youth have today. Also provided are next steps for those who were moved through reading this book. It gave me some things to think about.
July 31, 2012
The first half of this book is fantastic. The stories of the fatherless and those who stepped in to full the void are wonderful. The second half the book is much more pragmatic. For me, that was not nearly as compelling. Over all, though, Sowers' book made me want to be the best dad I can be as well as find opportunities to fill a good for those lacking dads.
November 19, 2014
I enjoy John's writing style. He delivers information with heart and candor. His observation on the culture in America without fathers is disturbing because it is true. This book is a call to action.
March 26, 2016
My favorite line from this book is, "God fathers us through the intimacy of his Spirit, but also by bringing people into our lives." Sowers' work, "Fatherless Generation," in its entirety is helpful in that it imparts a burden to its reader for the church to manifest God's heart as Father.
October 14, 2010
I loved this book. My full review is up at: http://www.thesquirrelfactor.com/2010...
November 16, 2010
Amazing, amazing book.
September 14, 2013
Heartbreaking. Sobering. A call to be better fathers, and as important to be PRESENT fathers. Quick read. Highlights the significant impact of mentoring.
October 12, 2015
This was a good book on a subject that needs to be revisited over and over. Staggering statistics show boys and girls need positive roll models in their lives.
Read
March 28, 2016Great psychology behind a search for belonging. This is applicable to those WITH fathers, just as equally. Great resource for understanding myself and others.
May 9, 2018
It brought me to a sobering reality of a fatherless generation and my own part in fathering this fatherless generation. Yet it gave me so much hope that we have a perfect Father in heaven who Fathers the fatherless. As we “father” this generation and the next, we are changing the destinies of this fatherless generation. Truly, reaching the next generation is really worth fighting for.
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