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Rosie Ferguson #3
Imperfect Birds
From the New York Times bestselling author of Hallelujah Anyway, Almost Everything , and Bird by Bird , a powerful and redemptive novel of love and family
Rosie Ferguson is seventeen and ready to enjoy the summer before her senior year of high school. She's intelligent-she aced AP physics; athletic-a former state-ranked tennis doubles champion; and beautiful. She is, in short, everything her mother, Elizabeth, hoped she could be. The family's move to Landsdale, with stepfather James in tow, hadn't been as bumpy as Elizabeth feared.
But as the school year draws to a close, there are disturbing signs that the life Rosie claims to be leading is a sham, and that Elizabeth's hopes for her daughter to remain immune from the pull of the darker impulses of drugs and alcohol are dashed. Slowly and against their will, Elizabeth and James are forced to confront the fact that Rosie has been lying to them-and that her deceptions will have profound consequences.
This is Anne Lamott's most honest and heartrending novel yet, exploring our human quest for connection and salvation as it reveals the traps that can befall all of us.
Rosie Ferguson is seventeen and ready to enjoy the summer before her senior year of high school. She's intelligent-she aced AP physics; athletic-a former state-ranked tennis doubles champion; and beautiful. She is, in short, everything her mother, Elizabeth, hoped she could be. The family's move to Landsdale, with stepfather James in tow, hadn't been as bumpy as Elizabeth feared.
But as the school year draws to a close, there are disturbing signs that the life Rosie claims to be leading is a sham, and that Elizabeth's hopes for her daughter to remain immune from the pull of the darker impulses of drugs and alcohol are dashed. Slowly and against their will, Elizabeth and James are forced to confront the fact that Rosie has been lying to them-and that her deceptions will have profound consequences.
This is Anne Lamott's most honest and heartrending novel yet, exploring our human quest for connection and salvation as it reveals the traps that can befall all of us.
336 pages, Paperback
First published April 1, 2010
446 people are currently reading
3824 people want to read
About the author
Anne Lamott
90 books10.2k followersAnne Lamott is an author of several novels and works of non-fiction. Based in the San Francisco Bay Area, her non-fiction works are largely autobiographical, with strong doses of self-deprecating humor and covering such subjects as alcoholism, single motherhood, and Christianity. She appeals to her fans because of her sense of humor, her deeply felt insights, and her outspoken views on topics such as her left-of-center politics and her unconventional Christian faith. She is a graduate of Drew College Preparatory School in San Francisco, California. Her father, Kenneth Lamott, was also a writer and was the basis of her first novel Hard Laughter.
Lamott's life is documented in Freida Lee Mock's 1999 documentary Bird by Bird: A Film Portrait of Writer Anne Lamott.
Lamott's life is documented in Freida Lee Mock's 1999 documentary Bird by Bird: A Film Portrait of Writer Anne Lamott.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,312 reviews
February 4, 2015
I liked this, and other people didn't, and that makes perfect sense to me.
What makes less sense to me is that so many readers' praise and complaints hinge on two things:
1) liking or identifying with the characters;
2) verisimilitude--by which I mean the reader's own convictions that people do or do not act in such and such a way, that the characters' choices do or do not resemble the choices of people the reader knows.
And those two categories are really just one: "this reminds me of me (and/or people in my life)"; or "this does not remind me of me (and/or people in my life), and I demand to know why not."
And that seems to me to be a sadly limited way to read.
What if, instead, we read precisely because it can make our world bigger, because it can expand our sense of what is possible, because it provides a whole new range of people and experiences and ideas that in fact we have never had? What if we read because there are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy? And what if that expansiveness is not a lamentable limitation but a reason to remain endlessly curious?
What makes less sense to me is that so many readers' praise and complaints hinge on two things:
1) liking or identifying with the characters;
2) verisimilitude--by which I mean the reader's own convictions that people do or do not act in such and such a way, that the characters' choices do or do not resemble the choices of people the reader knows.
And those two categories are really just one: "this reminds me of me (and/or people in my life)"; or "this does not remind me of me (and/or people in my life), and I demand to know why not."
And that seems to me to be a sadly limited way to read.
What if, instead, we read precisely because it can make our world bigger, because it can expand our sense of what is possible, because it provides a whole new range of people and experiences and ideas that in fact we have never had? What if we read because there are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy? And what if that expansiveness is not a lamentable limitation but a reason to remain endlessly curious?
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August 29, 2022Anne Lamott ends her trilogy about a mother-daughter relationship using horrible & tired cliches about motherhood, marriage, teenagers, friendship, and faith. Her self-indulgence knows no bounds. Ironically, she sees herself as somehow above different from her Marin county community portrayed in this "fictional novel." At one point, she writes about the "smug" residents of Marin county. Irony is dead.
Unbelievably, at the end of this novel& a la Oprah rip-off "This is what I know" Lamott thanks her editors- one is said to be GREAT and the other TOUGH and PROFOUND. Such thanks were misguided.
As an example, why would an editor or author think anyone wants to hear about James' quiet farts?
Twice.
Yes, twice.
(BTW, readers, it as all part of the marital soup. Also, the sex credit- phew, now "Elizabeth" (Anne Lamott?) gets a week off from fucking her husband!).
What type of friends (do you know that) engage in this type of dialogue:
James :: Please, Elizabeth? (he wants to have sex)
Elizabeth :: I'm exhausted, I have bad breath, and my vagina smells.
WTF?!
Ick.
Readers also get to hear how both women leak urine if they laugh or cough too hard. In fact, Elizabeth had to wear napkins all the time now, and was not even fifty.
More, Elizabeth has a hammertoe and gigantic corns. Lank has a torn rotator cuff and James had two skin cancers removed from his widening bald spot.
Rae whose husband is also balding coos like a lap dancer about how soft and sexy Lank's bald spot is.
coos. like. a. lap. dancer.
Rosie and her BFF's touch and hang all over one another like lesbians.
The family dog is described as a mellow companion who looks Hasidic and thoughtful.
???
Also, ugly-adorable. Except for the penis. That red lipsticky thing. James says the furry outside thing isn't the penis- it's a codpiece. It's just his little underpants.
At one point, Rosie feels like a speck of protoplasm on a stick under the sky.
Huh?
So... she feels like a speck of a cell on a stick under the sky?
I can't even.
Sadly, I could continue on (and on).
Alas, a friend has told me to "STOP!"
Sheesh. Maybe her vagina smells.
See? Gross.
Unbelievably, at the end of this novel
As an example, why would an editor or author think anyone wants to hear about James' quiet farts?
Twice.
Yes, twice.
(BTW, readers, it as all part of the marital soup. Also, the sex credit- phew, now "Elizabeth" (Anne Lamott?) gets a week off from fucking her husband!).
What type of friends (do you know that) engage in this type of dialogue:
James :: Please, Elizabeth? (he wants to have sex)
Elizabeth :: I'm exhausted, I have bad breath, and my vagina smells.
WTF?!
Ick.
Readers also get to hear how both women leak urine if they laugh or cough too hard. In fact, Elizabeth had to wear napkins all the time now, and was not even fifty.
More, Elizabeth has a hammertoe and gigantic corns. Lank has a torn rotator cuff and James had two skin cancers removed from his widening bald spot.
Rae whose husband is also balding coos like a lap dancer about how soft and sexy Lank's bald spot is.
coos. like. a. lap. dancer.
Rosie and her BFF's touch and hang all over one another like lesbians.
The family dog is described as a mellow companion who looks Hasidic and thoughtful.
???
Also, ugly-adorable. Except for the penis. That red lipsticky thing. James says the furry outside thing isn't the penis- it's a codpiece. It's just his little underpants.
At one point, Rosie feels like a speck of protoplasm on a stick under the sky.
Huh?
So... she feels like a speck of a cell on a stick under the sky?
I can't even.
Sadly, I could continue on (and on).
Alas, a friend has told me to "STOP!"
Sheesh. Maybe her vagina smells.
See? Gross.
November 29, 2010
This is my first Anne Lamott fiction book and I found it an easy enough story to read, but I'm not sure I totally bought the story hook, line, and sinker.
The story is about a recovering alcoholic mother and her drug-addicted daughter. Both characters are whiny, which might come with the addictive personna, but it got old. But, maybe drug addiction gets old, too.
The mother seemed way too naive to be a recovering alcoholic; the daughter seemed way too competent to be a drug-addict. I expected the mother - having been through the varying levels of addiction - to be wise to the ways to the deception from her daughter, but instead she seemed to want to believe her completely unrealistic stories. I expected the daughter to have trouble in school, have trouble with her friends, have trouble with her health, but none of that really comes up. She's honestly worried at the end about ... college. Huh?
I didn't get emotionally dialed in with the characters. I really didn't care that much what happened to either one of them, which is ultimately what an author should be hoping will happen to the reader. It didn't happen for me.
Sorry, Anne Lamott, I LOVED Bird by Bird, but I found Imperfect Birds too imperfect for my tastes.
The story is about a recovering alcoholic mother and her drug-addicted daughter. Both characters are whiny, which might come with the addictive personna, but it got old. But, maybe drug addiction gets old, too.
The mother seemed way too naive to be a recovering alcoholic; the daughter seemed way too competent to be a drug-addict. I expected the mother - having been through the varying levels of addiction - to be wise to the ways to the deception from her daughter, but instead she seemed to want to believe her completely unrealistic stories. I expected the daughter to have trouble in school, have trouble with her friends, have trouble with her health, but none of that really comes up. She's honestly worried at the end about ... college. Huh?
I didn't get emotionally dialed in with the characters. I really didn't care that much what happened to either one of them, which is ultimately what an author should be hoping will happen to the reader. It didn't happen for me.
Sorry, Anne Lamott, I LOVED Bird by Bird, but I found Imperfect Birds too imperfect for my tastes.
September 22, 2010
If there were a contest – something not physical that involves grammar, maybe – to show who was the biggest Anne Lamott fan, I would definitely fight my little wordy-nerdy heart out to win it, just for the title. This woman’s work has, fundamentally, changed my life – both my outlook and my writing. Her books Traveling Mercies, Plan B, and Grace Eventually gave me the space to look at my own faith with humor and with, well, grace. Bird by Bird is my favorite writing book because it is written in Lamott’s voice with her sarcasm, wryness, and and wisdom.
BUT her fiction has always left me cold. I’ve read most, if not all, of her novels, and most, if not all, have left me rather flat. The writing is clear and the story solid, but there hasn’t been much vim or vigor in them. UNTIL NOW. Imperfect Birds is just the right combination of great story, strong characters, and Lamott’s wit. I was listening to the car, and it made me want to sit in Beltway traffic.
The basic gist of the book is that Rosie (yes, the same Rosie from some of Lamott’s other novels if you’re keeping track), the teenage daughter of Elizabeth and step-father James, has developed some pretty awful practices during her junior and senior years of high school. The book is the story of her parents and other loved ones as they try to negotiate Rosie’s choices and keep her safe. Maybe because the book deals with issues of addiction and recovery and family and identity, all issues that Lamott has personally struggled with, it has a depth and complexity that I don’t remember in her other fiction (although I’m now tempted to reread some of them.) The character of James – a writer – is hysterical and poignant, and Elizabeth captures that woman in all of us who feels like she’s just about to lose it in one second, just after she weeds the garden.
I don’t know how much of my reading pleasure was caused by the fact that I was listening to the book instead of scanning it with my eyes, but I did really enjoy it. I hope you’ll pick it up and give it a read. I really do.
BUT her fiction has always left me cold. I’ve read most, if not all, of her novels, and most, if not all, have left me rather flat. The writing is clear and the story solid, but there hasn’t been much vim or vigor in them. UNTIL NOW. Imperfect Birds is just the right combination of great story, strong characters, and Lamott’s wit. I was listening to the car, and it made me want to sit in Beltway traffic.
The basic gist of the book is that Rosie (yes, the same Rosie from some of Lamott’s other novels if you’re keeping track), the teenage daughter of Elizabeth and step-father James, has developed some pretty awful practices during her junior and senior years of high school. The book is the story of her parents and other loved ones as they try to negotiate Rosie’s choices and keep her safe. Maybe because the book deals with issues of addiction and recovery and family and identity, all issues that Lamott has personally struggled with, it has a depth and complexity that I don’t remember in her other fiction (although I’m now tempted to reread some of them.) The character of James – a writer – is hysterical and poignant, and Elizabeth captures that woman in all of us who feels like she’s just about to lose it in one second, just after she weeds the garden.
I don’t know how much of my reading pleasure was caused by the fact that I was listening to the book instead of scanning it with my eyes, but I did really enjoy it. I hope you’ll pick it up and give it a read. I really do.
July 9, 2012
This book perplexes me. The copyright is 2010...but apparently, not one of these parents have Caller ID, and there's still a working pay phone somewhere in this affluent California town, and the girls have an incident with "quaaludes" but go to raves and take ecstasy? Um, what year is this set in?
I like Anne Lamott's writing. There were many sentences, particularly in the first two chapters, that I was itching to take a pencil and underline. But the narrative itself falls flat. No, it's not easy parenting a teenager, and they do often live a "double life", but it's really hard to buy into Elizabeth and James's world, and Rosie's, in many ways, reminds me a lot of anti-drug propaganda from the early '90's. Also, going back to the idea of a novel without a sense of time...Rosie, Jody, and Alice are the three teenage girls this story centers around, which adds to the difficulty of figuring out when, exactly, this novel takes place.
Basically, this novel just left me frustrated and wanting to both tell the parents to grow a pair and to smack some sense into Rosie that clearly, six hours in detention did not achieve.
I like Anne Lamott's writing. There were many sentences, particularly in the first two chapters, that I was itching to take a pencil and underline. But the narrative itself falls flat. No, it's not easy parenting a teenager, and they do often live a "double life", but it's really hard to buy into Elizabeth and James's world, and Rosie's, in many ways, reminds me a lot of anti-drug propaganda from the early '90's. Also, going back to the idea of a novel without a sense of time...Rosie, Jody, and Alice are the three teenage girls this story centers around, which adds to the difficulty of figuring out when, exactly, this novel takes place.
Basically, this novel just left me frustrated and wanting to both tell the parents to grow a pair and to smack some sense into Rosie that clearly, six hours in detention did not achieve.
June 12, 2011
Subtitle: "Helicoper parents and their spoiled brat enabled children". Or, "Helicopter Parenting for Dummies". Ultimately, I ended up thinking that Lamott actually *meant* to criticize these helicopter parents with this work of fiction, not have us empathize with them, so I guess if that's the case then I totally agree with her. But I still found it unbelievably irritating to read over and over about these enabling parents. They just KEPT making the same stupid parenting mistakes over and over, to the point where I kept wondering if I was repeating chapters. Even the "hardass" (the dad) was a total wuss and let the daughter out of her grounding on one occasion, and she chose to use it to, once again, abuse more drugs and get arrested. But the parents never learned.
I also have a thing against rich Marin county women who don't have to work who just sit around and complain about their lack of a life and how much it revolves around their children. Hello, so get a hobby, or join the work force like the rest of us suckers. Oh wait! But you are privileged and don't have to. (Yes, I have an attitude problem). Anyway, this whole book rubbed me the wrong way, but I suppose it did me a service it that it took from 99% sure I don't want children to 100% sure.
I also have a thing against rich Marin county women who don't have to work who just sit around and complain about their lack of a life and how much it revolves around their children. Hello, so get a hobby, or join the work force like the rest of us suckers. Oh wait! But you are privileged and don't have to. (Yes, I have an attitude problem). Anyway, this whole book rubbed me the wrong way, but I suppose it did me a service it that it took from 99% sure I don't want children to 100% sure.
August 26, 2012
Aaaargh, first review deleted thanks to the machinations of my flippantly evil touchpad. To sum up:
a) I picked this audio book up in a rush at the library because Lamott had been recommended to me and I recognized her name when it was pick a book or go home without one because it was closing time;
b) this being an audio book means that one's ability to "skim over" parts is greatly hindered;
and c) I ended up abandoning it for several reasons.
1. I got about 2 cds into the story, and still could not pick up a shred of plot, or even really forward movement. Characterization, setting, and background are great things, but in this instance, I felt as if I'd been invited to a family gathering at someone's house and subsequently cornered by Grandma with 4 stacks of photo albums and several hours of seemingly unrelated stories to power through before the festivities' end.
2. Overlooking point number 1, I had a difficult time getting over the fact that, somehow, in some universe, every character we meet is both pretty deeply flawed physically, emotionally, or both, and yet, to my knowledge without exception, each of them is also somehow "fabulous," "a goddess," "regal," "the most sought-after man in town," etc. I realize that there are beings like this who exist, but improbable numbers of them make me feel like the prescription on my rose-colored glasses is way too strong.
3, and most importantly 3, although I didn't seem to find any other reviewer with the same issue from my limited glance at the feedback on this book, I just couldn't deal with all the overshare. I am all for showing characters in their vulnerable, embarrassing, ugly, and dark moments. It's what makes them identifiable, makes them seem human. And yet, for me, there is a line, and that line came somewhere between hearing about bladder infections and incontinence, teenage girls' choice cocktails of prescription drugs and random, meaningless sex acts, and rather intimate details about the particulars of sexual engagement for a middle-aged couple. I wanted to like - or at least, try to identify - with these characters, and yet it's so hard to do when every other paragraph about them is busy adding to my growing feelings of nausea. (And unfortunately, here I am not exaggerating. Keep in mind my lack of "skimming over" ability.)
4, although as an afterthought, I as a person have trouble identifying with this particular scenario. Not being a parent who's reading this with my heart in my mouth, imagining (or remembering) my precious offspring in eerily similar circumstances to those in which Rosie finds herself, I have very little patience with all Rosie's drama. She seems smart, talented, and pretty thoughtful, and I just hear about all of her issues and think, uuuuuuuuuugggggh, it is so easy not to be this screwed up. This is my inner jerk speaking, so no need to take offense if you don't agree. But, all of this to say... take heart, mother readers of this book. It is possible to have your child enter into adulthood with his or her honor intact, and even without drug or alcohol binges.
Lest you think I give up on books easily, despite the possibility of vomiting, I still had to convince myself to give up on it. Lamott does seem to be a really gifted writer: even in the relatively short time I listened, maybe a fifth of the book, I laughed out loud a few times at the cleverness and unexpectedness of turns of phrases or events, like James telling people randomly that Elizabeth was a falconer, or even Lamott's very vivid description of the lady playing the washboard at the farmer's market, with the music pervading something along the lines of "places you didn't even know you had, and taking you to places you hadn't even agreed to go." Loved that. So, although I gave up on this one, I'll probably try Bird by Bird.
a) I picked this audio book up in a rush at the library because Lamott had been recommended to me and I recognized her name when it was pick a book or go home without one because it was closing time;
b) this being an audio book means that one's ability to "skim over" parts is greatly hindered;
and c) I ended up abandoning it for several reasons.
1. I got about 2 cds into the story, and still could not pick up a shred of plot, or even really forward movement. Characterization, setting, and background are great things, but in this instance, I felt as if I'd been invited to a family gathering at someone's house and subsequently cornered by Grandma with 4 stacks of photo albums and several hours of seemingly unrelated stories to power through before the festivities' end.
2. Overlooking point number 1, I had a difficult time getting over the fact that, somehow, in some universe, every character we meet is both pretty deeply flawed physically, emotionally, or both, and yet, to my knowledge without exception, each of them is also somehow "fabulous," "a goddess," "regal," "the most sought-after man in town," etc. I realize that there are beings like this who exist, but improbable numbers of them make me feel like the prescription on my rose-colored glasses is way too strong.
3, and most importantly 3, although I didn't seem to find any other reviewer with the same issue from my limited glance at the feedback on this book, I just couldn't deal with all the overshare. I am all for showing characters in their vulnerable, embarrassing, ugly, and dark moments. It's what makes them identifiable, makes them seem human. And yet, for me, there is a line, and that line came somewhere between hearing about bladder infections and incontinence, teenage girls' choice cocktails of prescription drugs and random, meaningless sex acts, and rather intimate details about the particulars of sexual engagement for a middle-aged couple. I wanted to like - or at least, try to identify - with these characters, and yet it's so hard to do when every other paragraph about them is busy adding to my growing feelings of nausea. (And unfortunately, here I am not exaggerating. Keep in mind my lack of "skimming over" ability.)
4, although as an afterthought, I as a person have trouble identifying with this particular scenario. Not being a parent who's reading this with my heart in my mouth, imagining (or remembering) my precious offspring in eerily similar circumstances to those in which Rosie finds herself, I have very little patience with all Rosie's drama. She seems smart, talented, and pretty thoughtful, and I just hear about all of her issues and think, uuuuuuuuuugggggh, it is so easy not to be this screwed up. This is my inner jerk speaking, so no need to take offense if you don't agree. But, all of this to say... take heart, mother readers of this book. It is possible to have your child enter into adulthood with his or her honor intact, and even without drug or alcohol binges.
Lest you think I give up on books easily, despite the possibility of vomiting, I still had to convince myself to give up on it. Lamott does seem to be a really gifted writer: even in the relatively short time I listened, maybe a fifth of the book, I laughed out loud a few times at the cleverness and unexpectedness of turns of phrases or events, like James telling people randomly that Elizabeth was a falconer, or even Lamott's very vivid description of the lady playing the washboard at the farmer's market, with the music pervading something along the lines of "places you didn't even know you had, and taking you to places you hadn't even agreed to go." Loved that. So, although I gave up on this one, I'll probably try Bird by Bird.
May 18, 2010
My feelings about Anne Lamott's books are always all scrambled up with my feelings about her. I like her work, but I always have this sort of nudgey feeling about her--talented and funny as I think she is. Somehow I feel like she's a bit needy and trying and would be a friend with whom I'd have to really work at the relationship (and trying not to kill her). I have no idea where this came from, but I have read an awful lot of her personal essays, so I can't help feeling that it's an accurate impression.
All this is to say that, for some reason, I read this book a little grudgingly. I liked it, but I was sort of continually expecting to turn the page and find something I didn't like--some false moment, some element that would support my insane opinion on the author herself.
And that never really happened. In fact, what I really liked about this book was how fully I empathized with each character, flawed and foolish as they were. At times I sympathized with Elizabeth, even though she was possibly the most annoying person ever; at other times I found myself sympathizing with Rosie, even though she was a manipulative little cow. My inner cynic found some aspects of the ending to be a little much, but generally, it felt like a really sincere and thoughtful depiction of both sides of the issue.
All this is to say that, for some reason, I read this book a little grudgingly. I liked it, but I was sort of continually expecting to turn the page and find something I didn't like--some false moment, some element that would support my insane opinion on the author herself.
And that never really happened. In fact, what I really liked about this book was how fully I empathized with each character, flawed and foolish as they were. At times I sympathized with Elizabeth, even though she was possibly the most annoying person ever; at other times I found myself sympathizing with Rosie, even though she was a manipulative little cow. My inner cynic found some aspects of the ending to be a little much, but generally, it felt like a really sincere and thoughtful depiction of both sides of the issue.
April 3, 2010
Characters in Anne Lamott's novels say things like this:
"To begin with, you need to tell me all of your unsaids, Elizabeth. They're killing us. You've been using your sincereness in counterfeit ways."
And that's not even the Mother Earth character. Because there is always a Mother Earth character, a spiritual hippie with a warm aura and a soft lap whose words are a higher grade of fortune cookie wisdom.
In "Imperfect Birds," Lamott revisits the characters from "Rosie" and "Crooked Little Heart." Elizabeth is still going to AA meetings and has been sober for a long enough spell -- minus a blip a few years earlier. She's still dabbling in higher power issues. Rosie is a junior in high school, tall and lovely, no longer recreationally using cocaine (according to her diary) but definitely hopped up on a friend's Adderall, weed, the whatever-laced-whatevers that her friends have available, and when all else fails cough syrup or glue sniffing. It's totally cas, though.
Elizabeth knows some of this. She reads Rosie's diary and pays attention to what her daughter's hair smells like, and monitors her uber moody moods. But whenever Elizabeth catches Rosie with pills in her jeans pocket, Rosie dulls the story to a plausible piece of fiction just bad enough to get grounded but not bad enough for big trouble. A slight of hand to distract her parents from how bad it really is. And how bad is it really? Rosie's head is saying not bad at all, but meanwhile she bargains with herself and makes and breaks plans to shape up.
The mother-daughter duo are in a tug of war for the entire book: Rosie trying to exert independence, getting good grades, and getting oozy goozy electrified by her physics teacher's arm hair; Elizabeth going covert ops and trying to keep her daughter safe from addiction, sexual transmitted diseases. Car accidents, burning buildings, and jail.
This seems a bit like a cautionary tale to people with the mantra "not my kid" and it comes across as a bit like the time Helen Hunt got all crunk and belly flopped out the window of an apartment building, or something starring a Dakota Fanning wanna be on the Lifetime Network. But there is also this intersection of remembering what it feels like to sneak out of a bedroom window versus what it would be like to squirt a human being into the world, and be charged with making sure that person doesn't sneak out bedroom windows. It is also front row seats at the freak show of what it is like to be 17 years old in the late aughts.
I definitely enjoyed this, but I've always enjoyed Anne Lamott and I'm a sucker for seeing what old characters from old stories are up to. (Facebook, anyone?) I like that her characters say profound sentences that sound like they were ripped from a therapy session. And I like the way families are never just the people sharing a last name, in this case there are also wayward friends unconditionally loved despite addictions and suspect decision making skills.
"To begin with, you need to tell me all of your unsaids, Elizabeth. They're killing us. You've been using your sincereness in counterfeit ways."
And that's not even the Mother Earth character. Because there is always a Mother Earth character, a spiritual hippie with a warm aura and a soft lap whose words are a higher grade of fortune cookie wisdom.
In "Imperfect Birds," Lamott revisits the characters from "Rosie" and "Crooked Little Heart." Elizabeth is still going to AA meetings and has been sober for a long enough spell -- minus a blip a few years earlier. She's still dabbling in higher power issues. Rosie is a junior in high school, tall and lovely, no longer recreationally using cocaine (according to her diary) but definitely hopped up on a friend's Adderall, weed, the whatever-laced-whatevers that her friends have available, and when all else fails cough syrup or glue sniffing. It's totally cas, though.
Elizabeth knows some of this. She reads Rosie's diary and pays attention to what her daughter's hair smells like, and monitors her uber moody moods. But whenever Elizabeth catches Rosie with pills in her jeans pocket, Rosie dulls the story to a plausible piece of fiction just bad enough to get grounded but not bad enough for big trouble. A slight of hand to distract her parents from how bad it really is. And how bad is it really? Rosie's head is saying not bad at all, but meanwhile she bargains with herself and makes and breaks plans to shape up.
The mother-daughter duo are in a tug of war for the entire book: Rosie trying to exert independence, getting good grades, and getting oozy goozy electrified by her physics teacher's arm hair; Elizabeth going covert ops and trying to keep her daughter safe from addiction, sexual transmitted diseases. Car accidents, burning buildings, and jail.
This seems a bit like a cautionary tale to people with the mantra "not my kid" and it comes across as a bit like the time Helen Hunt got all crunk and belly flopped out the window of an apartment building, or something starring a Dakota Fanning wanna be on the Lifetime Network. But there is also this intersection of remembering what it feels like to sneak out of a bedroom window versus what it would be like to squirt a human being into the world, and be charged with making sure that person doesn't sneak out bedroom windows. It is also front row seats at the freak show of what it is like to be 17 years old in the late aughts.
I definitely enjoyed this, but I've always enjoyed Anne Lamott and I'm a sucker for seeing what old characters from old stories are up to. (Facebook, anyone?) I like that her characters say profound sentences that sound like they were ripped from a therapy session. And I like the way families are never just the people sharing a last name, in this case there are also wayward friends unconditionally loved despite addictions and suspect decision making skills.
June 8, 2010
Anne Lamott shines at non-fiction. Her essays are confessional and human; it is easy to take something away from the reading of them. This book, Imperfect Birds, is her latest work of fiction. I worked hard at appreciating it because my friend karen sent it to me and I wanted to be grateful. And I am. karen is a jewel. But this book? Well, this book not so much so.
The last thing I expected from Lamott was preachiness; her work is usually very approachable and it is easy to feel as if you are sitting with her, perhaps you have coffee while she has some sort of milky herbal tea, and sitting together you can commiserate about the struggles of staying decent when people and situations are shitty all about you. Sure, she might moan a bit more than you about how often she has to pee, or go on maybe more than you would have about the passing of a beloved pet, but she is a friend, and you know that her words will turn to comfort you when you feel bitchy and at odds with the world, because you've been in that place before and now know just where to turn when life's little prickles start to add up.
But not this time. And I don't know why this is, why I felt like I was being told instead of shown, why I couldn't empathize with the characters, why the origami paper crane ministry didn't sound creative instead of overblown. Is it because too many people around the mother character felt all the right things, said all the right things, wore all the right things? Maybe. But Lamott's story wasn't a bad one, I liked it, I just expected more. I'm greedy that way.
Reading the book, I got the feeling that perhaps Anne had been bothered by something and wanted to work it out on paper. But instead of letting the shit hit the fan on high and then figuring out how to resolve the messiness of cleaning up after the characters, allowing them to bring things to full resolution, she simply let the blades slowly circle round until the walls were fairly spotty and she was still certain that the mess could be contained and that a quick and tidy clean up was possible. Things near the end were rushed. Things in the middle were not. The beginning took its time explaining and setting up. The final words were a cliff overlooking a sea of questions. Maybe what the author wanted to address, families coping with coming to terms and dealing with addict children, was over. Maybe she was done playing with the characters and working through the issues. But I wasn't finished reading through them. I want to know where Rosie goes from here, past the drum circles and reassuring hugs from her mother. But maybe that is for another book, her third for this family?
The last thing I expected from Lamott was preachiness; her work is usually very approachable and it is easy to feel as if you are sitting with her, perhaps you have coffee while she has some sort of milky herbal tea, and sitting together you can commiserate about the struggles of staying decent when people and situations are shitty all about you. Sure, she might moan a bit more than you about how often she has to pee, or go on maybe more than you would have about the passing of a beloved pet, but she is a friend, and you know that her words will turn to comfort you when you feel bitchy and at odds with the world, because you've been in that place before and now know just where to turn when life's little prickles start to add up.
But not this time. And I don't know why this is, why I felt like I was being told instead of shown, why I couldn't empathize with the characters, why the origami paper crane ministry didn't sound creative instead of overblown. Is it because too many people around the mother character felt all the right things, said all the right things, wore all the right things? Maybe. But Lamott's story wasn't a bad one, I liked it, I just expected more. I'm greedy that way.
Reading the book, I got the feeling that perhaps Anne had been bothered by something and wanted to work it out on paper. But instead of letting the shit hit the fan on high and then figuring out how to resolve the messiness of cleaning up after the characters, allowing them to bring things to full resolution, she simply let the blades slowly circle round until the walls were fairly spotty and she was still certain that the mess could be contained and that a quick and tidy clean up was possible. Things near the end were rushed. Things in the middle were not. The beginning took its time explaining and setting up. The final words were a cliff overlooking a sea of questions. Maybe what the author wanted to address, families coping with coming to terms and dealing with addict children, was over. Maybe she was done playing with the characters and working through the issues. But I wasn't finished reading through them. I want to know where Rosie goes from here, past the drum circles and reassuring hugs from her mother. But maybe that is for another book, her third for this family?
April 15, 2010
Imperfect Birds is an imperfect book, but that’s okay. I forgive Anne Lamott just about anything, since I’m nuts about her and I know she pours her guts, heart and soul into her writing. Because of that, though, this work of fiction sometimes gets a little crazy and overwrought.
The story is about 17-year-old Rosie spiraling out of control, and the parents who are clueless then horrified, careless then vigilant, and rarely on the same proverbial page.
Even though Rosie is not very likeable, my heart breaks for her as I put myself in her shoes… back in high school, struggling to fit in, secret and inappropriate crushes, getting into trouble with my friends, pushing the limits. At that age so many of us are striving for independence and individuality while, paradoxically, we’re mortified if we don’t fit in. Rosie thinks she’s so smart and so grown up when she’s really just a dumb, spoiled kid.
As the mother of my own 17-year-old daughter, I feel this mother’s angst, understand her denial, but sometimes want to shake her and tell her to wake up. I do empathize with her because there certainly are times when I find myself unprepared and in despair as a parent. That said, Elizabeth, the mother in the book is way too worried about rocking the boat with her teenage daughter and way too concerned about being her friend. Thank goodness she has healthy grownup friends and a husband who is slightly wiser and stricter than she is to support her before she goes down the tubes and takes Rosie with her.
Anne Lamott’s strongest and most successful books are her memoirs (Operating Instructions, Bird by Bird, Traveling Mercies, Plan B, Grace Eventually), filled with brutal honesty and a candid sharing of her spiritual journey. Those who’ve read them feel they know Annie and her son, Sam. In Imperfect Birds, Lamott strives to weave in a spiritual plot through Elizabeth’s friend Rae (a weaver!) and her involvement in a community church, but that piece of the story seems contrived. Rosie gets a summer job there. The church is on the scene with candlelight vigils after tragedies. The wise pastor is there with sage advice for Elizabeth. It just didn’t ring true to me.
The point in the book is that we are all imperfect but allow each other, character flaws and all, into our the sacred spaces of our hearts. I love the metaphor. I just wish I liked these people a little more. They are the 12-step textbook example of insanity: doing the same things over and over and expecting different results. That’s one of the things that makes the book a little crazy but it’s also one of the things that ultimately makes it work as a cautionary tale. And it is that—a big, red, blaring warning for families and entire communities as our youth continue to medicate themselves into oblivion to escape the reality of their lives.
The story is about 17-year-old Rosie spiraling out of control, and the parents who are clueless then horrified, careless then vigilant, and rarely on the same proverbial page.
Even though Rosie is not very likeable, my heart breaks for her as I put myself in her shoes… back in high school, struggling to fit in, secret and inappropriate crushes, getting into trouble with my friends, pushing the limits. At that age so many of us are striving for independence and individuality while, paradoxically, we’re mortified if we don’t fit in. Rosie thinks she’s so smart and so grown up when she’s really just a dumb, spoiled kid.
As the mother of my own 17-year-old daughter, I feel this mother’s angst, understand her denial, but sometimes want to shake her and tell her to wake up. I do empathize with her because there certainly are times when I find myself unprepared and in despair as a parent. That said, Elizabeth, the mother in the book is way too worried about rocking the boat with her teenage daughter and way too concerned about being her friend. Thank goodness she has healthy grownup friends and a husband who is slightly wiser and stricter than she is to support her before she goes down the tubes and takes Rosie with her.
Anne Lamott’s strongest and most successful books are her memoirs (Operating Instructions, Bird by Bird, Traveling Mercies, Plan B, Grace Eventually), filled with brutal honesty and a candid sharing of her spiritual journey. Those who’ve read them feel they know Annie and her son, Sam. In Imperfect Birds, Lamott strives to weave in a spiritual plot through Elizabeth’s friend Rae (a weaver!) and her involvement in a community church, but that piece of the story seems contrived. Rosie gets a summer job there. The church is on the scene with candlelight vigils after tragedies. The wise pastor is there with sage advice for Elizabeth. It just didn’t ring true to me.
The point in the book is that we are all imperfect but allow each other, character flaws and all, into our the sacred spaces of our hearts. I love the metaphor. I just wish I liked these people a little more. They are the 12-step textbook example of insanity: doing the same things over and over and expecting different results. That’s one of the things that makes the book a little crazy but it’s also one of the things that ultimately makes it work as a cautionary tale. And it is that—a big, red, blaring warning for families and entire communities as our youth continue to medicate themselves into oblivion to escape the reality of their lives.
September 23, 2011
I am surprised to see so many less than favorable reviews of this book. I think Lamott paints a realistic picture of what life CAN be like with a teenager. She portrays with accuracy how parents can be caught unaware when their child, who has never before given them reason for concern, is slowly changing in troubling ways. These parents, Elizabeth in particular, want to believe their very persuasive daughter.
The fact that Elizabeth is a recovering alcoholic and her daughter develops a drug problem is hardly uncommon. And the fact that Rosie is a functional drug abuser for most of the book is also spot on. It is because of this that her parents are able to maintain their denial for as long as they do. And Rosie is a masterful liar; her lying is so automatic and smooth.
I liked that the book showed the perspective of the parents and that of Rosie and her friends. She captures the powerlessness parents feel when faced with a willful, out of control teenager. And we are allowed inside Rosie's head. We watch with frustration as she makes one bad choice after another, putting her boyfriend and her friends before her family. But we also understand that she has a fierce love for her mother, and she is not unaffected by her mother's disappointment and despair.
I would have liked to know more about Andrew and Rosie's relationship and her memories of him to understand the depth of her loss and how that may have led to the choices she made.
Overall, I really loved this book!
The fact that Elizabeth is a recovering alcoholic and her daughter develops a drug problem is hardly uncommon. And the fact that Rosie is a functional drug abuser for most of the book is also spot on. It is because of this that her parents are able to maintain their denial for as long as they do. And Rosie is a masterful liar; her lying is so automatic and smooth.
I liked that the book showed the perspective of the parents and that of Rosie and her friends. She captures the powerlessness parents feel when faced with a willful, out of control teenager. And we are allowed inside Rosie's head. We watch with frustration as she makes one bad choice after another, putting her boyfriend and her friends before her family. But we also understand that she has a fierce love for her mother, and she is not unaffected by her mother's disappointment and despair.
I would have liked to know more about Andrew and Rosie's relationship and her memories of him to understand the depth of her loss and how that may have led to the choices she made.
Overall, I really loved this book!
April 25, 2010
Oh, the trials and tribulations of the privileged in Marin County - how difficult their Birkenstock-wearing lives, how trite their wise women, how much they over-react.
Yes, drug and alcohol abuse among teens can be deadly, but not every beer drunk is a step on the road to hell nor does it require a visit to freakin' rehab. Yes, teenagers lie and are difficult to live with - this isn't a bolt from the blue and doesn't necessitate almost 300 pages of whinging. Man, it's really damned difficult to keep the house clean and keep the garden up while preparing groovily organic meals that are vegan at least five days a week - it's a good thing to have a trust fund so you don't have to have an actual job. My heart is breaking for you that your husband writes essays for NPR and isn't at your beck and call every second of the day - what a strain on your marriage.
I hated this. This book barfs out every stereotype of people in the Bay Area that I loathe (and I live here). Lamott trots out every cliche of the overbred, over-privileged guilty white liberal that you can imagine and in doing so makes her story pointless.
I hated this.
Thanks, anyway, to the publisher for the advance copy.
Yes, drug and alcohol abuse among teens can be deadly, but not every beer drunk is a step on the road to hell nor does it require a visit to freakin' rehab. Yes, teenagers lie and are difficult to live with - this isn't a bolt from the blue and doesn't necessitate almost 300 pages of whinging. Man, it's really damned difficult to keep the house clean and keep the garden up while preparing groovily organic meals that are vegan at least five days a week - it's a good thing to have a trust fund so you don't have to have an actual job. My heart is breaking for you that your husband writes essays for NPR and isn't at your beck and call every second of the day - what a strain on your marriage.
I hated this. This book barfs out every stereotype of people in the Bay Area that I loathe (and I live here). Lamott trots out every cliche of the overbred, over-privileged guilty white liberal that you can imagine and in doing so makes her story pointless.
I hated this.
Thanks, anyway, to the publisher for the advance copy.
September 20, 2011
Usually I really like Anne Lamott's work, and true to form her writing itself is beautiful in places in this book, but unfortunately I hated pretty much everything else about the book. First of all, the author did not get me invested in the characters. Frankly, I will follow a dead plot longer than I should if I love the characters in a story. The three central characters in this story all seemed flat to me. Rosie was a typical snotty know-it-all teenager and I was never really invested in whether she got better or not, frankly she is kind of a jerk. James is supposed to come across as the funny and cool one, but I never really got that vibe from him. Elizabeth seems mopey and depressed, but almost without reason (she seems to be this way before her daughter's life starts to go down the tubes) and you almost want to scream at her to suck it up. Plus, I thought the plot didn't go anywhere. At the end when I finally wanted to know to a certain extent what happened, the author just ends the story almost midsentence. It took me way longer to read this book than it should have and I had to drag myself through it to finish it. I really wouldn't recommend this one to anyone, in my opinion it was one horrible piece of fiction.
January 23, 2012
I found the characters in this book absolutely believable. We have seen Rosie and her mother in two other novels by Anne Lamott, at different ages. Here we see them on a collision course where the solution is not apparent. It's too easy to be disdainful of people who struggle with addiction: these are people with real brilliance who are also flawed (who isn't?). I always enjoy Anne Lamott's writing, her quirky but incisive prose style.
September 25, 2010
I recently read Anne Lamottt's Traveling Mercies and absolutely loved it. It was insightful and funny and hopeful. So I was looking forward to reading her latest. I have not read any of her fiction except for Blue Shoe (long ago), which I recall enjoying. But this one, not so much.
Lamott has a talent for evoking physical images: of people, of nature. But all the dialogue in this book was painfully self-conscious. Characters would say clever or deep things, and the writer character would say, "Can I have that?" And every conversation involving the earth-mother best friend ended with an offering of wisdom that sounded like it would make a poster for Unitarian adult Sunday school.
The book felt like Lamott had worked too hard to paste up a lot of unrelated story ideas into a cohesive plot. It didn't work for me.
And it did not seem to offer much hope for the possibility of keeping teenagers safe from the dangers of drugs and alcohol. Not one of the stories about kids with addiction problems had a positive outcome, and the story did not present any strategies between the extremes of bowing to the tyranny of the moody teen and sending her off to a wilderness rehab experience.
Lamott has a talent for evoking physical images: of people, of nature. But all the dialogue in this book was painfully self-conscious. Characters would say clever or deep things, and the writer character would say, "Can I have that?" And every conversation involving the earth-mother best friend ended with an offering of wisdom that sounded like it would make a poster for Unitarian adult Sunday school.
The book felt like Lamott had worked too hard to paste up a lot of unrelated story ideas into a cohesive plot. It didn't work for me.
And it did not seem to offer much hope for the possibility of keeping teenagers safe from the dangers of drugs and alcohol. Not one of the stories about kids with addiction problems had a positive outcome, and the story did not present any strategies between the extremes of bowing to the tyranny of the moody teen and sending her off to a wilderness rehab experience.
August 1, 2010
I love her but this one was not worth the time. Guess if you lived in CA it would make more sense. Just didn't have the heart of her other books.
May 13, 2024
Any folks whose families are grappling with the harrowing effects of drug abuse must read Lamott's insightful novel. Without being preachy, she underscores the importance of tough love. Removing safety nets and allowing a loved one who is addicted to drugs to hit rock bottom is an excruciating but critical step toward recovery. Lamott's book isn't perfect. For me, the main character's downward spiral seemed a bit tame and, at times, contrived. But "Imperfect Birds" is well-written and delivers an important message.
January 2, 2011
Anne Lamott does some things really well in this novel, but the story as a whole didn't feel complete enough and some aspects rang false. Lamott did a nice job of capturing the seesaw of emotions (and contradictory advice) that a mother encounters when she suspects her teen of using drugs and other alarming behavior. The book pulls the reader along in the journey as the mother decides whether to crack down, whether to allow freedoms in the interests of maintaining a good relationship, whether to spy, etc. She also realistically portrays the teen girl's combination of cluelessness and false confidence.
Other aspects of the novel really let me down, though. First, the character of the mother is deeply flawed herself and seems particularly needy -- yet she has several people absolutely devoted to her, who love her unconditionally despite not getting much in return except requests for more help. I just couldn't buy those characters or those relationships. Also, the mother did not come across as a realistic recovering alcoholic and person who struggled with chronic depression to me; among other things, she was too slow to spot signs of addiction in her kid and was too devoted to AA for someone who didn't believe in a higher power.
I also didn't care for the hippie/new age spiritual philosophy that percolated through the novel. I wasn't sure what Lamott was trying to say with it and it seemed to be overlaid on the characters' lives without really intersecting with them in a genuine way. There were many references to spiritual/philosophical issues, but a real ambivalence in terms of how the characters (and apparently the author) embraced them.
Both mother and daughter seem to have the most clarity and feel closest to a spiritual power when forced to go through an experience of isolation and physical discomfort in nature. Perhaps the novel was trying to suggest that being alone and suffering in nature is a way to reach a higher power. If so, however, that theme is not explored very thoroughly. And, in contrast, an unconventional church also plays a central role. According to its theology, God is not omniscient and God is still in the process of creating the world. It is the job of humanity to help by reaching out to the needy. So there is also a suggestion that we need community and to show unconditional love, even for those who are not very lovable. Yet it was hard to see the "good" that the church was doing by having a teen under the influence act as teacher to children and, in some cases, by enabling and ennobling the very people who were pulling kids into the drug culture. In the end, it wasn't the church that had the answers for the characters, although I felt that Lamott wanted us to think it did somehow.
Bottom line, the arc of the story left something to be desired. The characters go through a journey, but we don't really know where they end up. They seem to be moving in a good direction, but we don't know if they will backslide or not. And we don't know WHY they got on the path they are on, either. Despite being a rather "internal" novel with most of the action taking place inside the characters' heads, I didn't feel like a got a lot of clarity on what line of thinking made the difference in their lives.
Other aspects of the novel really let me down, though. First, the character of the mother is deeply flawed herself and seems particularly needy -- yet she has several people absolutely devoted to her, who love her unconditionally despite not getting much in return except requests for more help. I just couldn't buy those characters or those relationships. Also, the mother did not come across as a realistic recovering alcoholic and person who struggled with chronic depression to me; among other things, she was too slow to spot signs of addiction in her kid and was too devoted to AA for someone who didn't believe in a higher power.
I also didn't care for the hippie/new age spiritual philosophy that percolated through the novel. I wasn't sure what Lamott was trying to say with it and it seemed to be overlaid on the characters' lives without really intersecting with them in a genuine way. There were many references to spiritual/philosophical issues, but a real ambivalence in terms of how the characters (and apparently the author) embraced them.
Both mother and daughter seem to have the most clarity and feel closest to a spiritual power when forced to go through an experience of isolation and physical discomfort in nature. Perhaps the novel was trying to suggest that being alone and suffering in nature is a way to reach a higher power. If so, however, that theme is not explored very thoroughly. And, in contrast, an unconventional church also plays a central role. According to its theology, God is not omniscient and God is still in the process of creating the world. It is the job of humanity to help by reaching out to the needy. So there is also a suggestion that we need community and to show unconditional love, even for those who are not very lovable. Yet it was hard to see the "good" that the church was doing by having a teen under the influence act as teacher to children and, in some cases, by enabling and ennobling the very people who were pulling kids into the drug culture. In the end, it wasn't the church that had the answers for the characters, although I felt that Lamott wanted us to think it did somehow.
Bottom line, the arc of the story left something to be desired. The characters go through a journey, but we don't really know where they end up. They seem to be moving in a good direction, but we don't know if they will backslide or not. And we don't know WHY they got on the path they are on, either. Despite being a rather "internal" novel with most of the action taking place inside the characters' heads, I didn't feel like a got a lot of clarity on what line of thinking made the difference in their lives.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 16, 2012
Disappointing. I chose this book from the library because it was the same author as Bird by Bird.
"Thirty years ago my older brother, who was ten years old at the time, was trying to get a report on birds written that he'd had three months to write. [It] was due the next day. We were out at our family cabin in Bolinas, and he was at the kitchen table close to tears, surrounded by binder paper and pencils and unopened books on birds, immobilized by the hugeness of the task ahead. Then my father sat down beside him, put his arm around my brother's shoulder, and said. 'Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird.'"
I just love that scene, so warm, funny, heartbreaking and evokative.
I just couldn't get into this book. None of the characters were all that likeable, the relationship between Elizabeth and James just felt so false and at times nauseatingly sweet.... I had to force myself to finish it just to find out what happened (nothing as it turns out) ... it ends quite abruptly ... perhaps the author had also lost interest by then.
"Thirty years ago my older brother, who was ten years old at the time, was trying to get a report on birds written that he'd had three months to write. [It] was due the next day. We were out at our family cabin in Bolinas, and he was at the kitchen table close to tears, surrounded by binder paper and pencils and unopened books on birds, immobilized by the hugeness of the task ahead. Then my father sat down beside him, put his arm around my brother's shoulder, and said. 'Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird.'"
I just love that scene, so warm, funny, heartbreaking and evokative.
I just couldn't get into this book. None of the characters were all that likeable, the relationship between Elizabeth and James just felt so false and at times nauseatingly sweet.... I had to force myself to finish it just to find out what happened (nothing as it turns out) ... it ends quite abruptly ... perhaps the author had also lost interest by then.
January 8, 2011
This book felt particularly poignant because it rang true as my own story. In Lamott's latest novel, she weaves the story of a family controlled by the 17-year-old daughter's alcoholism. The mother, Elizabeth, is a recovering alcoholic with debilitating anxiety. Rosie, the daughter, is a manipulative, charming, enigmatic addict. Her lies pull the family apart.
As a teenage addict myself, I identified with Rosie's dishonesty and manipulation. I found myself laughing aloud at some of the stories she came up with to hide and defend her using. I felt pain for Elizabeth as she became wrapped up in a codependent relationship with Rosie, similar to that of many loved ones of alcoholics.
James, the stepfather, is a secondary character. He is a writer with a wry sense of humor, who attends Al-Anon meetings. With his program, he is slightly more detached from the insanity of their alcoholic home.
I would like to share two things from the novel, one is a joke of James's, which I found quite amusing:
"There was a second-grader named Mike who could not do math for the life of him, no matter how many tutors or how much extra help his parents gave him. He was always just barely getting by or falling behind. So for third grade, his parents put him in the local Catholic school. Right away, he starts doing better - coming home right after school, doing his homework, and starting to pull ahead of his classmates. And when the first report card comes, he's actually gotten an A. His mother says, 'Mike, what was it? Was it the nuns? Was it all that structure?' And he says, 'Nah. But on the first day of class, when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew these people weren't fooling around." (p. 91)
My other favorite scene is from the end of the novel. Rosie has been shipped off to a wilderness treatment program in Utah. She is upset by the inability to care for her hair, shave her legs, etc. I smiled to myself when her and Kath, another girl in the program, try to figure out a way to obtain Duct tape to wax their eyebrows. As I mentioned, my personal story is not all that different from Rosie's. I went to inpatient treatment at 14. My roommate Heather and I, aghast that we could not sneak in tweezers, somehow snuck in a bottle of Nair. We Nair-ed our eyebrows!
So, in short, Lamott hit the nail on the head! Her novel is real enough to touch, painful, joyous, sad. The family could be any wrapped up in alcoholism and dishonesty.
As a teenage addict myself, I identified with Rosie's dishonesty and manipulation. I found myself laughing aloud at some of the stories she came up with to hide and defend her using. I felt pain for Elizabeth as she became wrapped up in a codependent relationship with Rosie, similar to that of many loved ones of alcoholics.
James, the stepfather, is a secondary character. He is a writer with a wry sense of humor, who attends Al-Anon meetings. With his program, he is slightly more detached from the insanity of their alcoholic home.
I would like to share two things from the novel, one is a joke of James's, which I found quite amusing:
"There was a second-grader named Mike who could not do math for the life of him, no matter how many tutors or how much extra help his parents gave him. He was always just barely getting by or falling behind. So for third grade, his parents put him in the local Catholic school. Right away, he starts doing better - coming home right after school, doing his homework, and starting to pull ahead of his classmates. And when the first report card comes, he's actually gotten an A. His mother says, 'Mike, what was it? Was it the nuns? Was it all that structure?' And he says, 'Nah. But on the first day of class, when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew these people weren't fooling around." (p. 91)
My other favorite scene is from the end of the novel. Rosie has been shipped off to a wilderness treatment program in Utah. She is upset by the inability to care for her hair, shave her legs, etc. I smiled to myself when her and Kath, another girl in the program, try to figure out a way to obtain Duct tape to wax their eyebrows. As I mentioned, my personal story is not all that different from Rosie's. I went to inpatient treatment at 14. My roommate Heather and I, aghast that we could not sneak in tweezers, somehow snuck in a bottle of Nair. We Nair-ed our eyebrows!
So, in short, Lamott hit the nail on the head! Her novel is real enough to touch, painful, joyous, sad. The family could be any wrapped up in alcoholism and dishonesty.
March 3, 2010
Elizabeth lives with her husband James and her daughter Rosie in Marin County, leading a seemingly idyllic-seeming life. But everyone has secrets. In this continuation of her 1997 book "Rosie," Lamott employs a blend of sensuality infused with spirituality, bringing each scene to life with a vivid clarity of sight, smell and insight. Facing her senior year in high school, Rosie, most of all, is duplicitous to her parents who trust her judgment and believe her lies. Since this is a novel about people who care about one another, the conflicts are within the family unit, with the mother-daughter relationship primarily at risk. By taking Rosie at face value, the marital union is jeopardized, but as it becomes more apparent that action must be taken if they all are to survive as a family, resolution and redemption are sought in an unconventional way. The resolution of the family crisis is handled with wit and perspective, and never tips over into Jodi Picoult territory. Given the Marin setting and the fact that the characters while not particularly affluent have means beyond the common solution, not all readers will sympathize with Rosie and her situation. She's fortunate to have such loving parents who don't give up on her. She is also fortunate in her friendships. The bonds between her and her two closest friends are treated with heart and warmth, displaying a loyalty enviable to anyone.
Although this book continues Anne Lamott's 1997 novel, it can be real as a standalone since there are enough references to the former book which enlighten a new reader and refresh the memory of someone who's memories may had dimmed.
Although this book continues Anne Lamott's 1997 novel, it can be real as a standalone since there are enough references to the former book which enlighten a new reader and refresh the memory of someone who's memories may had dimmed.
August 18, 2012
I think this is the BEST Anne Lamott book I've read. The writing is phenomenal and the story grabbed me from the first page. It may have been b/c the topic was rather close to home and I found myself identifying with the neurotically enabling mother at times.
Too many parents think that they've succeeded if their kids "appear" to be walking the straight and narrow, telling you exactly what they know you want to hear and yet behind the scenes the deception and lies hide a secret life that can devastate both the child (even an adult child) and the family. The "truth" is hard to face and harder yet is doing what will be for the child's best and that comes at such a high price.
This book is not for everybody but is well worth the reading if you'd like to know what today's teens are facing and what could be slated for your future if your child is hell-bent on being self-destructive, no matter what you try to do to make it different! Sometimes no matter what you do, they still make destructive choices for which they alone must bear the consequences and the responsibility for real change.
Lamott nails teen angst and parental turmoil in Imperfect Birds! The ending made me wonder if a sequel was a possibility. Guess we'll have to wait and see.
Too many parents think that they've succeeded if their kids "appear" to be walking the straight and narrow, telling you exactly what they know you want to hear and yet behind the scenes the deception and lies hide a secret life that can devastate both the child (even an adult child) and the family. The "truth" is hard to face and harder yet is doing what will be for the child's best and that comes at such a high price.
This book is not for everybody but is well worth the reading if you'd like to know what today's teens are facing and what could be slated for your future if your child is hell-bent on being self-destructive, no matter what you try to do to make it different! Sometimes no matter what you do, they still make destructive choices for which they alone must bear the consequences and the responsibility for real change.
Lamott nails teen angst and parental turmoil in Imperfect Birds! The ending made me wonder if a sequel was a possibility. Guess we'll have to wait and see.
February 20, 2020
This book reminded me what it is like to be the mother of a teenager. You want to trust them and believe what they are telling you but you are also suspicious of everything they tell you. The recovering alcoholic mom, Elizabeth, wants to trust her daughter, Rosie, so badly she dismisses obvious signs that Rosie is basically lying to her about everything. How could her straight A daughter be a drug addict???? There are many meaningful characters in this book also. James, Elizabeth’s second husband-the voice of reason; Rae and Lank, Elizabeth’s best friends-givers of great advice; Alice and Jody, Rosie’s two best friends-bad and good influences. There are also interesting minor characters that play small parts in the lives of Elizabeth and Rosie. All in all a good story about family and the people and incidents that influence their lives.
August 9, 2024
I don't get the Lamott hype. I almost quit this one multiple times
January 19, 2015
The book, as narrated by Susan Denaker, was an engaging story, so much so that sometimes I just had to drive around to finish a section (I was listening on the CD set in my car). It was at times joyful and frequently painful to listen to, though by the end of somewhat repetitive.
Rosie is 17 and lives with her mother Elizabeth and step-father James in Marin County. In her senior year in high school, she yearns to be free of the restrictions and control exerted by her parents, even claiming at one point that she wanted to be emancipated. Though she and her mother are emotionally very close, she chafes whenever Elizabeth or James question her actions and whereabouts.
Told alternately through both Rosie's and Elizabeth's point of view, we soon learn that Rosie has been doing drugs for years, and the variety and frequency of drugs she is experimenting has been escalating. She justifies it to herself by the fact that she's still a good kid and doing well in school. She has been grounded and disciplined from time to time when her parents found out about some incident, or when she missed curfew. But they frequently go soft on her and allow her to bend the rules. Rosie has become extremely adept at telling lies and weaving a story to keep her parents off her back. She has mastered the art of manipulating her parents into believing what she wants them to believe. She is not the daughter they think they have raised.
We also learn that Elizabeth is a recovering alcoholic and has had bouts of mental illness, and she very much fears that Rosie will have the same tendencies. Elizabeth is deeply concerned about Rosie's habits and prospects for getting into a good college, but also worried that Rosie will succumb to the same weaknesses she has endured. James is very focused on his work and plays the bad guy role, pushing Elizabeth to enforce harsher restrictions on Rosie to rein her in.
Rosie gets deeper and deeper into the drug culture, going to raves and parties where drugs of all kinds are sold openly. Hearing about the ease with which kids can get into drugs brought forth every parents worse nightmare, and made the story difficult to listen to at times. Lamott created a tension that left you wondering whether this was going to turn out all right, or whether Rosie was going to crash and burn.
At times, the recitation of Rosie's bad decisions and actions and Elizabeth's angst was rather repetitive and boring, and the book lacks any other engaging sub-plots to focus on. By the end of the book, I was just grateful that I had been spared such anxiety while raising my children.... there but for the grace of God...
Rosie is 17 and lives with her mother Elizabeth and step-father James in Marin County. In her senior year in high school, she yearns to be free of the restrictions and control exerted by her parents, even claiming at one point that she wanted to be emancipated. Though she and her mother are emotionally very close, she chafes whenever Elizabeth or James question her actions and whereabouts.
Told alternately through both Rosie's and Elizabeth's point of view, we soon learn that Rosie has been doing drugs for years, and the variety and frequency of drugs she is experimenting has been escalating. She justifies it to herself by the fact that she's still a good kid and doing well in school. She has been grounded and disciplined from time to time when her parents found out about some incident, or when she missed curfew. But they frequently go soft on her and allow her to bend the rules. Rosie has become extremely adept at telling lies and weaving a story to keep her parents off her back. She has mastered the art of manipulating her parents into believing what she wants them to believe. She is not the daughter they think they have raised.
We also learn that Elizabeth is a recovering alcoholic and has had bouts of mental illness, and she very much fears that Rosie will have the same tendencies. Elizabeth is deeply concerned about Rosie's habits and prospects for getting into a good college, but also worried that Rosie will succumb to the same weaknesses she has endured. James is very focused on his work and plays the bad guy role, pushing Elizabeth to enforce harsher restrictions on Rosie to rein her in.
Rosie gets deeper and deeper into the drug culture, going to raves and parties where drugs of all kinds are sold openly. Hearing about the ease with which kids can get into drugs brought forth every parents worse nightmare, and made the story difficult to listen to at times. Lamott created a tension that left you wondering whether this was going to turn out all right, or whether Rosie was going to crash and burn.
At times, the recitation of Rosie's bad decisions and actions and Elizabeth's angst was rather repetitive and boring, and the book lacks any other engaging sub-plots to focus on. By the end of the book, I was just grateful that I had been spared such anxiety while raising my children.... there but for the grace of God...
March 24, 2010
This novel begs parents to ask themselves the question, "how much freedom is too much freedom to allow your teenager". This book is number three of a trilogy --I have not read the other two books: Rosie and Crooked Little Heart, but it is not necessary to read them to fully understand this story.
In this novel, seventeen year old Rosie Ferguson is an intelligent and pretty girl who had always been pretty open with her mother. In the past she has shared personal details with her family about her friends and classmate's problems. However, as the new school year approaches it becomes clear, at least to the reader, that Rosie is a troubled girl in crisis.
Her mother, Elizabeth, is a recovering alcoholic and suffers from anxiety and depression. She knows her daughter hangs out with a fast crowd, and that Rosie has not always been honest with her, but yet Elizabeth hates to make waves. She fears that if she digs too deep, she may risk ruining her relationship with her daughter. Rosie has a stepfather, who is obsessed with work, and he seems to be pretty much a non entity. However, when a crisis occurs and things get out of control, the parents are forced to take action to help their daughter.
MY THOUGHTS - I was so looking forward to this book, and really wanted to like it, but ultimately, I was a somewhat disappointed. The writing was vivid, but I wanted to shake the mother and say "wake-up and do something". Maybe it was partly because she was struggling with her own issues, but it is not like the family did not have a good support system. I also did not care for any of the characters, and I find it hard to love a book, when I can't relate to, or don't like anyone in it. Yet, the novel tells an important story, and in many ways gives insight, at least to the observant reader, of signs to look for in a troubled teen.
In this novel, seventeen year old Rosie Ferguson is an intelligent and pretty girl who had always been pretty open with her mother. In the past she has shared personal details with her family about her friends and classmate's problems. However, as the new school year approaches it becomes clear, at least to the reader, that Rosie is a troubled girl in crisis.
Her mother, Elizabeth, is a recovering alcoholic and suffers from anxiety and depression. She knows her daughter hangs out with a fast crowd, and that Rosie has not always been honest with her, but yet Elizabeth hates to make waves. She fears that if she digs too deep, she may risk ruining her relationship with her daughter. Rosie has a stepfather, who is obsessed with work, and he seems to be pretty much a non entity. However, when a crisis occurs and things get out of control, the parents are forced to take action to help their daughter.
MY THOUGHTS - I was so looking forward to this book, and really wanted to like it, but ultimately, I was a somewhat disappointed. The writing was vivid, but I wanted to shake the mother and say "wake-up and do something". Maybe it was partly because she was struggling with her own issues, but it is not like the family did not have a good support system. I also did not care for any of the characters, and I find it hard to love a book, when I can't relate to, or don't like anyone in it. Yet, the novel tells an important story, and in many ways gives insight, at least to the observant reader, of signs to look for in a troubled teen.
March 7, 2010
I RECEIVED THIS BOOK FROM THE PUBLISHER THROUGH THE AMAZON VINE PROGRAM.
I love Anne Lamott's non-fiction, so I wanted to love Imperfect Birds. It's a novel about Elizabeth and James, parents dealing with their teenager, Rosie. She is falling deeper and deeper into drugs and other addictive behaviors, in spite of being a smart, high-achieving kid. Rosie is whiny and difficult, a quintessential entitled brat, and I found the parents also harder to relate to than I thought I would. In general, I'd say that I never fully connected with the characters.
One aspect of the story I enjoyed was the deep friendships and community that their family enjoyed with Rae and Lank. Not going through the experience alone was invaluable for Elizabeth and James, and Rae also served as a safe adult that Rosie could talk to. The writing is fine, not spectacular but certainly good for contemporary fiction. The story is heartbreaking and certainly real for some families, who might take comfort in reading about someone else tackling these problems. It might also function as a good warning for parents who are not connected to their teenage children and need a kick in the pants to provide adequate supervision and guidance.
In spite of the book's shortcomings, it has a tone of hope, which helps readers to avoid the despair that thinking about these topics sometimes brings. For those interested in the subject, I'd recommend this book, with a few reservations.
I love Anne Lamott's non-fiction, so I wanted to love Imperfect Birds. It's a novel about Elizabeth and James, parents dealing with their teenager, Rosie. She is falling deeper and deeper into drugs and other addictive behaviors, in spite of being a smart, high-achieving kid. Rosie is whiny and difficult, a quintessential entitled brat, and I found the parents also harder to relate to than I thought I would. In general, I'd say that I never fully connected with the characters.
One aspect of the story I enjoyed was the deep friendships and community that their family enjoyed with Rae and Lank. Not going through the experience alone was invaluable for Elizabeth and James, and Rae also served as a safe adult that Rosie could talk to. The writing is fine, not spectacular but certainly good for contemporary fiction. The story is heartbreaking and certainly real for some families, who might take comfort in reading about someone else tackling these problems. It might also function as a good warning for parents who are not connected to their teenage children and need a kick in the pants to provide adequate supervision and guidance.
In spite of the book's shortcomings, it has a tone of hope, which helps readers to avoid the despair that thinking about these topics sometimes brings. For those interested in the subject, I'd recommend this book, with a few reservations.
July 21, 2010
I adore Anne Lamott, but before this book I wasn't even aware that she wrote novels. I had only read and thoroughly enjoyed her nonfiction. I did enjoy this book, but it was nothing to rave about, and I always rave about her books. This was the story of the perfect teen-age daughter who gets deeply involved in the drug scene during her senior year in high school, and of the heart-break it causes her loving parents. What I liked was the narrative perspective which switches back and forth between the mother and daughter, allowing the reader to completely empathize with both. I felt like a ping-pong ball at times, but in a good way. I kept feeling the pain of adolescent angst and the joy of teenage discovery of the world, including the good innocent pleasures as well as the dark forbidden ones. Then I would feel the mother's pain and confusion about how to "handle" your child and the great happiness of having a child, while at the same time facing your own losses and accomplishments.
So, why did I find this book "imperfect". Well, you see, I can't bring myself to criticize Lamott because she is one of those authors who feels like your best friend, and I would feel like I was backstabbing a loved one. So I will just shut up now.
So, why did I find this book "imperfect". Well, you see, I can't bring myself to criticize Lamott because she is one of those authors who feels like your best friend, and I would feel like I was backstabbing a loved one. So I will just shut up now.
April 13, 2012
At first, this book comes across as a bit repetitively cyclical - girl engages in risky behavior, girl lies to parents, parents lay down the law, girl sneaks around and engages in more risky behavior, and the cycle repeats - and character development seems stagnant, hindering my connection with both Rosie (the troubled daughter) and Elizabeth (her troubled mom). Too many pages seem to pass before progress is made, characters are changed, and redemption is reached.
But perhaps what Lamott is really doing here is mimicking life. Maybe life seems to make for mediocre fiction at times, but the truth is so many of us are living our lives in hopeless circles. We are fallen, troubled, untrusting, non-trustworty. Like Rosie, we are in need of an intervention to push our own development and move the endless stagnation.
So I appreciated this story. There is a universal thread running through it, irregardless of your personal experience with drug addiction (which, admittedly, dominates the narrative). And when Elizabeth, with a history of mental and emotional challenges all her own and a lack of faith, gains an awareness of the "not me," there is a glimmer of hope that the cycle - Rosie's as well as the larger one of history repeating itself from mother to daughter - can be broken.
But perhaps what Lamott is really doing here is mimicking life. Maybe life seems to make for mediocre fiction at times, but the truth is so many of us are living our lives in hopeless circles. We are fallen, troubled, untrusting, non-trustworty. Like Rosie, we are in need of an intervention to push our own development and move the endless stagnation.
So I appreciated this story. There is a universal thread running through it, irregardless of your personal experience with drug addiction (which, admittedly, dominates the narrative). And when Elizabeth, with a history of mental and emotional challenges all her own and a lack of faith, gains an awareness of the "not me," there is a glimmer of hope that the cycle - Rosie's as well as the larger one of history repeating itself from mother to daughter - can be broken.
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