I want to preface this one-star review by saying I am a big-time, long-time fan of Jilly Cooper. I haven’t read everything she’s written because she’s approximately forty years older than me, and the chances are she’ll run out of time to write before I run out of time to read. So I’m rationing them, but when Sara Manning tweeted about this being one of her faves I figured I could dole myself out a small portion.
Two years ago I found Octavia and Emily in a second-hand shop. Up to that time I had been unaware that Cooper wrote these shorter novels before her famous white-cover bonkbusters. I enjoyed them, but felt they were very debut, in that they read like the outline of a book rather than the actual book.
Harriet suffers from that problem along with a host of others. Mostly this has to do with it being published in 1976. One thing Jilly ain’t is forward-thinking. Every single book of hers inhabits the worst version of how women were treated without questioning it, whether this was eighties, nineties, or noughties flavour misogyny. The only saving grace is that the women in the books don’t question it either; to do so would be to destroy the whole edifice. Indeed, romance as a genre is currently grappling with how to write heterosexual love stories in the ruined landscape of what #metoo et al. did to such tropes as ‘alpha male’.
So Harriet embodies the now-defunct stereotype of a hapless, helpless, ditzy female, who is rescued by a much-older male character who combines a father-lover role in a way that is complete anathema to twenty-first century mores. Although all fans of romance probably pine at times to be rescued, as a whole we’ve renounced this trope – and books like this are the reason why.
Harriet begins promisingly. She’s a bright student at Oxford who is knocked down by Simon on her way to a tutorial. Simon is king of the hot dudes on campus, and this is his initial description:
“He was wearing dark grey trousers, a black shirt, and a pale blue velvet coat like Peter Rabbit.”
This is amazing, and one of the gems of the talent that Cooper later hones to perfection.
Sadly, Simon is just using the viriginal Harriet, and soon gets bored of her. Unfortunately, she’s pregnant. Even though he offers to pay for an abortion, and everyone around Harriet is like, ‘Hello? Get an abortion’, Harriet does not get an abortion. Why?
“The reason I kept William really was because he was the only thing of Simon’s I had.”
THIS IS THE WORST RATIONALE FOR PARENTHOOD I HAVE EVER HEARD. And Harriet proceeds to prove them all right, by routinely forgetting her baby exists or needs to be fed even though for most of the action at Cory’s house he’s between three and six months old.
Harriet takes a job as a live-in nanny to a scriptwriter called Cory, who’s getting divorced from his glamorous actor wife Noel. (Why she’s called Noel and not ‘Noelle’ is never explained and drove me wild.) Harriet immediately prioritises Cory’s two children over her own, baby-aged child, to the point of being viciously jealous of the children, er, loving their actual mother best? If it wasn’t for a housekeeper (and omg, like, Harriet has a housekeeper and cook to pick up her slack, nice work if you can get it), her own baby would never be fed and minded. Harriet races to hospital with one of Cory’s children – where the staff proceed to withhold meningitis treatment for no reason except that Cooper appears to be unaware of how medicine works – and abandons her own child for ten whole days. Not only that, she doesn’t think about him once in that time. It's jaw-dropping neglect.
The whole scenario of Harriet dropping out of college and taking a menial job could have been achieved without her having a baby she keeps forgetting about, simply by making her reaction be depression over the abortion or losing Simon. She also wails or whimpers most of her dialogue, which made me want to reach through the page and strangle her.
So, yeah, a completely stupid and unsympathetic heroine, a paper-thin plot, and fucktons of drunk driving. The seventies were lawless. Unsurprisingly, Cooper reads better when she’s more experienced and better edited!