The Ferengi are greedy, avaricious, ruthless, cowardly and completely unscrupulous. For centuries the famous Ferengi Rules of Acquisition have been the guiding principles of the galaxy's most successful entrepreneurs. These 285 Rules of Acquisition range from, #1 "Once you have their money, never give it back." to #21 "Never place friendship before profit." These rules and hundreds more have taken many successful Ferengi to new frontiers of profit.
As I have gotten older, I have tried to do a better job of admitting my mistakes and my bad decisions while trying to do my best to learn from them. So let me begin this review confession by saying directly: My name is Stephen and I have read this book!!
I think I am far enough removed from the experience to be able to look back with some perspective and describe what happended. At the time of the "incident" I had been on a pretty good roll of quality reads. I had recently enjoyed Pandora's Star and Judas Unchained by Peter Hamilton,Up Jim River by Michael Flynn and Fool's War by Sarah Zettel and I guess I was feeling a little cocky and sure of myself.
As I was looking for my next "great read" I came across this very short Star Trek book. It had a Ferengi on the cover looking like one of the “Children of Roderick” from The Dark Tower series doing his impression of Leonardo da Vinci’s famous “Vitruvian Man.” Well, I thought to myself: ‘Go ahead....give it a try and see what its like. One time isn’t going to kill you.'
Little did I know then the kind of hold that Star Trek can have on the people that try it and the things it can make you do.
When I had finished the book, I found I wanted something even Trekier and started reading the Star Trek paperbacks in chronological order. Soon, I was spiraling out of control and things quickly went from bad to worse.
Eventually, several weeks later, I found myself at one of "those conventions” begging in “Klingonese” for an autograph from George Takei ...and engaging in a all out battle royale with some goons from a Star Wars convention next door. That was when I knew I had truly hit bottom and decided I needed help.
Fortunately, my story has a happy ending and I was able to take some real positive steps along the road to recovery. I threw away my "authentic" communicator and phaser and promised my wife that I would never again try to seduce her again using the Vulcan “mind meld” or mention the words “Pon Farr” in front of the kids. I immediately re-read Hyperion by Dan Simmons, Cryptonomicon by Neal Stephenson and Rogue Moon by Algis Budrys and before long, I began to feel more like myself.
Now I know that there are no quick fixes and that this is a problem I will have to deal with my whole life. I do still occassionally pick up a Star Trek paperback but I am now only a “social” reader and believe I have my problem under control. Admittedly, it is a day-by-day process but I have tried to surround myself with quality books and believe that I am once more on the path of being a productive member of the reading community.
While I deeply wish this had more Rules of Acquisition I appreciate this canon collection of sage knowledge. Quark is always a hoot and there is something to be learned from the Ferengi business acumen, i.e. greed.
Meh. Not exactly the full, comprehensive guide you're hoping for, just some pithy jokes to entertain the boys in Engineering.
Where's the Ferengi culture? IS there Ferengi culture beyond, well, ear sex and thievery? There was that one episode where Quark was accidentally a Ferengi leader, or something? Not that that should be in a book on Acquisition, mind you.
Perhaps I've just read the wrong book, for my needs. (This review makes me sound crazy).
Took about 30 minutes to re-read this one again between all the dr.s visits i took my mom on that day. I've filled in All the extra spaces in the back w/the other rules i've picked up watching Deep Space Nine/& reading Star Trek books but still have a great long way to go to getting them all down. Luv Star Trek xoDaleB.xo
A must read for those of us who deal with the Federal Acquistion Regulation on a daily basis. Many of the Ferengi rules summarize what actually occurs in our contracts. But, some of the Ferengi rules are sexist. Good for a laugh even if not a trekkie.
The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition was a fun book to read for those who followed the television show Deep Space Nine (which I am currently re-watching). The Ferengi character is clever and the rules are amusing and some actually provide something for one to muse over.
Found this at our local used bookstore yesterday! The paper has not aged well but this book was expensive to try and buy online so I paid the four bucks to check it out.
It's only 84 pages long, a tiny little palm-sized paperback. The best part was honestly the intro, written from the point-of-view of Quark. He says that although you might be tempted to read the book (which took like 5 minutes) in the aisle at the store, the proper thing to do is to take it to the cashier and pay for it! lol That cracked me up because it was so true. If the bookstore hadn't been so crowded yesterday (apparently it was indie bookstore day? plus there was a festival going on in town) I might have just read it standing right there. Haha!
I can't say whether or not the Rules of Acquisition match up with the show perfectly. But I can tell you they're incomplete. It even says in the intro that these are just a random 70 rules out of the sum total. So I feel a little cheated, but...I guess that's part of the point. lol Very in-character.
There are some blank pages at the end of the book for you to add in more rules as you come across them. Overall this was pretty cute but useless. Might make for a nice, quirky gift but it's not the kind of book you'd reread or even be able to reference for fan fiction purposes, since it's intentionally incomplete.
Buy Legends of the Ferengi instead- same rules, same authors, but with 98% additional content!!
Each page includes a single Rule of Acquisition and nothing more. Don't waste your latinum on this book. Instead be wise and purchase LEGENDS OF THE FERENGI. Both books contain the same RoAs, but LEGENDS accompanies each rule with a legend, story and misc documents that serve to illustrate and explain that rule to non-Ferengi Hew-Mons. Ironically both books were written by the same authors, each affiliated with ST:DS9. This book is an example of Ferengi ethics and an object lesson regarding the peril of being on the wrong end of the RoAs. Maybe PT Barnum was part Ferengi, but his observation that a sucker is born every minute certainly applies to this book. Purchase it if you must, but remember you were warned, and the warning cost you nothing.
A delightful little collection of the rules of acquisition in the voice of the Star Trek character Quark. The rules govern every business transaction for the Ferengi and generally serve a near religious function for these ultra-free capitalism practitioners. They range from slightly modified real quotes from history to funny and if put into practice horrifying business actions, to say nothing of the cultural implications of an entire alien race operating by these rules.
No one needs to watch an episode of Star Trek DS9 to understand this book or its sayings. They're just fun and they have as much value as you choose to assign to them. It doesn't hurt you can read them all in a half hour, plus coffee break. Five out of Five stars.
Something important to keep in mind with this book is that it very short and simple, an easy read of about 5 minutes or so. It's best to go in with lower expectations, you probably won't learn anything you didn't already know before. But I did find Quark’s introduction humorous and very in character. Each rule getting its own page made the book fly by, especially since we only got 70 of all 285 rules. I’d say you have to be a big Deep Space 9 fan to enjoy this one, and ideally also a Quark fan. This doesn’t really add anything new to the series, it's just a short collection of Ferengi rules from the show collected in one place. It helps that I found this at a fill-a-bag for $5 library sale, but despite enjoying the book for what it is, it's definitely not worth it to be bought new.
I kind of have a love-hate relationship with the greedy Ferengi - in TNG I absolutely hated them, but DS9's Quark, Rom and Nog are simply a delight. Their Rules of Acquisition are ridiculously funny, let me give you a couple of examples:
80th rule of acquisition: If it works, sell it. If it works well, sell it for more. If it doesn't work, quadruple the price and sell it as an antique.
111th rule of acquisition: Treat people in your debt like family - exploit them.
208th rule of acquisition: Give someone a fish, you feed him for one day. Teach him how to fish, and you lose a steady customer.
281st rule of acquisition: Blood is thicker than water, but harder to sell.
Late-night movie host Joe Bob Briggs used to remind me that the drive-in will never die. The same can be said for Star Trek spin-offs and associated merch. So, almost a decade after the last episode of Deep Space Nine, we get this 96-page collection of quotes from the series. As Quark would tell you, “57. Good customers are as rare as latinum. Treasure them.” And as writer-producer Steven Behr knows, there are no better customers than Trekkies. Even if you are one, you might want to forego this collection for Ron Wrobel III’s The Complete Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (2016). Quark deserves whatever afterlife he can acquire.
Entertaining trek into the world of Ferengi interstellar commerce. Some are downright hilarious (109: dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack), while others are to be expected (125: you can't make a deal if you're dead). Gordon Gekko would be proud (202: the justification for profit is profit), and there is even some occasional wisdom to be found outside of the trading sphere (88: vengeance will cost you everything).
Greed is eternal (that would be rule of acquisition #10). A fun hourlong read if you are a trekkie.
Sure, it's short but it's packed full of hilarious Ferengi wisdom.
The only thing keeping it from 5 stars is that they never published a revised edition. This one has some rules never used in the show, but it's also missing a bunch that aired after its publication. Shame they never put out a second version after the series ended.
So this only covers 70 ROA, when there are 285+. It took all of 7 minutes to read, although if you're a fast reader, it could take you less than 5. The thing I really enjoyed about this "pamphlet" is you hear it in Quark's voice and in his point of view, so if you're a DS9 fan, I dare you to be able to read it without hearing Quark's voice.
I feel like I’ve been ripped off by a Ferengi. There are some pithy quotes here, but this is not enough material to warrant a book. There’s one quote per page, so it’s little more than a few pages of text (at best) if you were to put them together. It’s only about seventy of the rules out of more than 200. Save your money.
If you know of this book, you probably know what to expect. Some of the rules are reasonable, many are the kind of absurd nonsense that leftists think capitalists believe in. But I like Star Trek, and the Ferengi, so it was a fun (and rather short) read.
A fun read for Trekkies that covers the Rules of Acquisition. While I liked it, I did feel there could have been a little more to it. I really like the Ferengi and perhaps some lore or how the rules came into being considering how few of them there were in the book!
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #2 - Always trust Ferengi advice: it leads to profit.
That may not be a real Rule of Acquisition as dictated by Quark, but this is a good one. Actually some of these rules should be adopted for everyday life.
Short and hilarious. Not the full set of rules, buyer beware! Seventy out of the two hundred eighty-five. Sure, you could look 'em up online, but where's the fun in that? Save your latinum, find a copy at a public library, used bookstore, or borrow a friend's copy.
A cute novelty that was given to me for my birthday. The book doesn't have the full list of the rules (which I may forgive slightly, given the Ferengi's love of scamming) and it doesn't feel entirely creative either. A stocking stuffer perhaps, but I wish more was done with the gimmick.
Borrowed this book from the library, on May the 4th of all days xD "No good deed ever goes unpunished" "Home is where the heart is...but the stars are made of Latinum"