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My Mother/My Self: The Daughter's Search for Identity
When Nancy Friday began her research for My Mother/My Self in the early 1970s, no work existed that explored the unique interaction between mother and daughter. Today psychotherapists throughout the world acknowledge that if women are to be able to love without possessing, to find work that fulfills them, and to discover their full sexuality, they must first acknowledge their identity as separate from their mother’s. Nancy Friday’s book played a major role in that acceptance. The greatest gift a good mother can give remains unquestioning love planted deep in the first year of life, so deep and unassailable that the tiny child grown to womanhood is never held back by the fear of losing that love, no matter what her own choice in love, sexuality, or work may be.
Through candid self-disclosure and hundreds of interviews, Friday investigates a generational legacy and reveals the conflicting feelings of anger, hate, and love the daughter’s hold for their mothers–and why they so often “become” that mother themselves.
Through candid self-disclosure and hundreds of interviews, Friday investigates a generational legacy and reveals the conflicting feelings of anger, hate, and love the daughter’s hold for their mothers–and why they so often “become” that mother themselves.
448 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1977
180 people are currently reading
2177 people want to read
About the author
Nancy Friday
19 books211 followersNancy Colbert Friday was an American author who wrote on the topics of female sexuality and liberation. Her writings argue that women have often been reared under an ideal of womanhood, which was outdated and restrictive, and largely unrepresentative of many women's true inner lives, and that openness about women's hidden lives could help free women to truly feel able to enjoy being themselves. She asserts that this is not due to deliberate malice, but due to social expectation, and that for women's and men's benefit alike it is healthier that both be able to be equally open, participatory and free to be accepted for who and what they are.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 82 reviews
January 29, 2008
Had enough issues with my mother - stopped after the 2nd chapter so I wouldn't develop any more.
August 9, 2012
helped me work out relationship with my own mom, find forgiveness &
understanding.
understanding.
July 19, 2011
Crappy book. Too many generalizations. Too many false dilemma fallacies (http://www.nizkor.org/features/fallac...).
Relationship dynamics: This book's psychology is outdated. No wonder so many women who tried reading this book (and the author included) devolved into a self-blaming manner of thinking about mother-daughter relationship dynamics. The author's lack of optimism bleeds through. Also, I particularly disliked how the author pushed the concept of "if a daughter feels inadequacies about her relationship with her mother it will automatically result in a skewed perception of female *sexual identity". C'mon. This book is a product of the "liberalized" thinking of the woman's revolution in the 1970's but was this tripe constructive? Heck no! Ill-constructed reasoning was a symptom of the challenges that women faced at the time. Yet self-improvement for men or women has no simple cookie cutter approach. Let's not dissolution ourselves that when we navigate our self-identity issues we should default to blaming our mother's generation. Let's take responsibility for ourselves and get past the blame and anger and move on.
Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss by Hope Edelman (psychology is current) was a much better book about mother-daughter dynamics and healing from relationship issues. Let's be honest, even when your mother is gone, she never really is gone. Even if your mother is still alive (yet you may still feel abandoned) I feel that daughters can better internalize how their relationships with their mothers evolved into what they were regardless of whether their mother died. Although the book addressed how a daughter could cope with the loss of a mother, it primarily encouraged daughters to assess their relationship dynamics as a way of coping and the author uses examples throughout her book so it is encouraging to see that constructive coping can happen. Understanding is way of coping with unresolved issues which indirectly helps with the formation/cultivation of the self's identity. Now that's constructive. Be constructive; skip "My Mother My Self".
Relationship dynamics: This book's psychology is outdated. No wonder so many women who tried reading this book (and the author included) devolved into a self-blaming manner of thinking about mother-daughter relationship dynamics. The author's lack of optimism bleeds through. Also, I particularly disliked how the author pushed the concept of "if a daughter feels inadequacies about her relationship with her mother it will automatically result in a skewed perception of female *sexual identity". C'mon. This book is a product of the "liberalized" thinking of the woman's revolution in the 1970's but was this tripe constructive? Heck no! Ill-constructed reasoning was a symptom of the challenges that women faced at the time. Yet self-improvement for men or women has no simple cookie cutter approach. Let's not dissolution ourselves that when we navigate our self-identity issues we should default to blaming our mother's generation. Let's take responsibility for ourselves and get past the blame and anger and move on.
Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss by Hope Edelman (psychology is current) was a much better book about mother-daughter dynamics and healing from relationship issues. Let's be honest, even when your mother is gone, she never really is gone. Even if your mother is still alive (yet you may still feel abandoned) I feel that daughters can better internalize how their relationships with their mothers evolved into what they were regardless of whether their mother died. Although the book addressed how a daughter could cope with the loss of a mother, it primarily encouraged daughters to assess their relationship dynamics as a way of coping and the author uses examples throughout her book so it is encouraging to see that constructive coping can happen. Understanding is way of coping with unresolved issues which indirectly helps with the formation/cultivation of the self's identity. Now that's constructive. Be constructive; skip "My Mother My Self".
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June 23, 2015For some it may take courage to read this book with an open mind. A person's unique experiences may not relate to all of the stories told by the author, but I believe that if you either had a mother or are a mother, you will find something familiar here.
Can you handle the truth? Can you admit that your mother isn't and wasn't perfect, that her love for you isn't and wasn't perfect? Can you not only admit it but be okay with it? Can you face the grownup reality that you aren't perfect either, and can you be okay with that? Further, can you see how holding up the myth of the perfect mother affects your relationship with her and just about everyone else? Once we face the truth about our mothers and ourselves, we can finally accept the reality of the love our mothers DO have for us, and then we can love ourselves.
It's easy to understand why some would dislike this book. We have much invested in the idealized image of our mothers - the sacred well of endless sacrifice and love beyond measure. But when we demystify and deconstruct motherhood, we can find that it is still wonderful and miraculous - warts and all.
Can you handle the truth? Can you admit that your mother isn't and wasn't perfect, that her love for you isn't and wasn't perfect? Can you not only admit it but be okay with it? Can you face the grownup reality that you aren't perfect either, and can you be okay with that? Further, can you see how holding up the myth of the perfect mother affects your relationship with her and just about everyone else? Once we face the truth about our mothers and ourselves, we can finally accept the reality of the love our mothers DO have for us, and then we can love ourselves.
It's easy to understand why some would dislike this book. We have much invested in the idealized image of our mothers - the sacred well of endless sacrifice and love beyond measure. But when we demystify and deconstruct motherhood, we can find that it is still wonderful and miraculous - warts and all.
September 25, 2007
Mothers, daughters and their complex relationships, expectations and similarities. A little out-dated, as it speaks about a generation before mine but it relates to mine-as being daughters in many aspects as well. The book is based on many interviews, so it's real, but today, as a mother, I can relate to some issues and not to others. For instance, I would never feel jealousy regarding my daughter. I'm too much of a proud mother to feel this way.
But as for another issue, the one of references, I do understand how girls need to identify and have some guidance from a feminine adult other than their mothers. (This kind of jealousy, I may harbor but send to sail...)
There are many interesting issues discussed in the book. Even when they seem to belong to another era, there's still a strong connection between them and today's mothers and daughters.
But as for another issue, the one of references, I do understand how girls need to identify and have some guidance from a feminine adult other than their mothers. (This kind of jealousy, I may harbor but send to sail...)
There are many interesting issues discussed in the book. Even when they seem to belong to another era, there's still a strong connection between them and today's mothers and daughters.
May 2, 2009
Overall I learned a lot about myself by reading this book. I'll be honest, it was not at all what I had expected it to be but I can see why it was recommended. There are three particular quotes that really knocked me off my seat.
1) "Nobody has happy obsessive thoughts. Both obsessions and compulsions are repetitive because underground anger must be defended against, over and over."
2) "We have trouble understanding that we can be angry and forgiving at the same time. The two are not mutually exclusive. We think if we hate someone we hate them all the way through."
3) "Anger is a way of maintaining some form of tie. As long as we remain fixed on resentment of what she didn't do, we don't have to think about what we must do for ourselves."
I was sent reeling from some of the epiphanies that these created. I'm very glad I read his.
1) "Nobody has happy obsessive thoughts. Both obsessions and compulsions are repetitive because underground anger must be defended against, over and over."
2) "We have trouble understanding that we can be angry and forgiving at the same time. The two are not mutually exclusive. We think if we hate someone we hate them all the way through."
3) "Anger is a way of maintaining some form of tie. As long as we remain fixed on resentment of what she didn't do, we don't have to think about what we must do for ourselves."
I was sent reeling from some of the epiphanies that these created. I'm very glad I read his.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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February 25, 2015it was may challenge's book , when i read just 20 first pages of it ,i cried about 2h.
i want to say all girls must read this book , so they will caught many question about their life.
بیشتر ماها فکر میکنیم که اگر مشکلی در زندگی برامون پیش بیا ریشه در بچگی مون داره و دلیلش هم کاستی های مادر پدرمونه ، البته اگر دختر باشیم بیشتر این کاستی ها رو از چشم مادر هامون میبینیم ، تا جایی این عقاید درسته البته تا جایی ، شاید بیشتر کاستی های زندگی بزرگ سالی مون از کودکی نشات گرفته باشه و بعضی از اونها هم تقصیر والدینمون باشه ، اما دیگه به عنوان بزرگ سال وقتشه که دیگه این تفکر کهنه که دنبال مقصر می گرده رو بذاریم کنار . این کتاب به ما کمک می کنه که بفهمیم دیگه نوبت ماست که مسئول زندگیمون باشیم و مادر هامون رو بخاطر هر کوتاهی که در زندگیمون انجام دادن ببخشیم و از این پس با یک دید دیگری به انها نگاه کنیم.
ce livre conseille aux fille , pour trouver soi-meme , leur mere , la nouveau vie.
i want to say all girls must read this book , so they will caught many question about their life.
بیشتر ماها فکر میکنیم که اگر مشکلی در زندگی برامون پیش بیا ریشه در بچگی مون داره و دلیلش هم کاستی های مادر پدرمونه ، البته اگر دختر باشیم بیشتر این کاستی ها رو از چشم مادر هامون میبینیم ، تا جایی این عقاید درسته البته تا جایی ، شاید بیشتر کاستی های زندگی بزرگ سالی مون از کودکی نشات گرفته باشه و بعضی از اونها هم تقصیر والدینمون باشه ، اما دیگه به عنوان بزرگ سال وقتشه که دیگه این تفکر کهنه که دنبال مقصر می گرده رو بذاریم کنار . این کتاب به ما کمک می کنه که بفهمیم دیگه نوبت ماست که مسئول زندگیمون باشیم و مادر هامون رو بخاطر هر کوتاهی که در زندگیمون انجام دادن ببخشیم و از این پس با یک دید دیگری به انها نگاه کنیم.
ce livre conseille aux fille , pour trouver soi-meme , leur mere , la nouveau vie.
November 12, 2016
I read this many years ago and dont remember much other than that I didn't like it. As I flip through its pages I start to remember why: it was heavily Freudian as in everything, all we are, feel and do is rooted in childhood and our relationships with our parents. In this case the mother. Every problem you have, it is probably because mother didn't respond to your emotions right.
I just happen to disagree with much Freudian theory as much as there is surely some truth to some of it. I just don't buy it as a 'explain all empowering truth'. The way I see it there is more (and in some instances, less) to humans and their development and struggles and relationships than Freuds explanations, it's as simple and complicated as this.
I just happen to disagree with much Freudian theory as much as there is surely some truth to some of it. I just don't buy it as a 'explain all empowering truth'. The way I see it there is more (and in some instances, less) to humans and their development and struggles and relationships than Freuds explanations, it's as simple and complicated as this.
May 2, 2014
In all honesty, I struggled between 3 and 4 stars, but I settled for 4 because I thoroughly enjoyed the book and because there are some important lessons to be drawn fom it still, especially with respect to mother-daughter competition, the child-rearing consequences of living in a society that still values men more than women, as well as the relationships between women.
In some respects, however,I believe the book ventured down a couple of dangerous slippery slopes. It just isn't the complex, complete and meticulously researched work that "Jealousy" was. I was often under the impression that the author reached certain conclusions because she wanted to. It seemed to me that all the women interviewed had almost the same view-point, more or less; not one had been raised differently, not one mother or daughter stood out, not a single control sample.
Moreover, the research is focused strictly on a certain well-off segment of American society in the 50s, 60s and 70s, but cultural and social aspects are only mentioned in passing. While usefully insisting on the importance of role-models, the work barely touchs upon the effects of poverty, for instance, or cultural norms, schooling, community, politics, urbanisation, connection with nature on raising a child.
Another thorny point here is the almost complete absence of men from the picture. The book somehow leads us to infer that men are not haunted by the same insecurities and idiosyncrasies women are faced with, while this is not true.
As I said, I did enjoy the book, in spite of its inherent shortcomings (psychology is an inexact and very limited science) and I would recommend it, as most of it still rings true. I also look forward to reading Nancy Friday's other books and I am sorry she hasn't published anything new in quite a while.
In some respects, however,I believe the book ventured down a couple of dangerous slippery slopes. It just isn't the complex, complete and meticulously researched work that "Jealousy" was. I was often under the impression that the author reached certain conclusions because she wanted to. It seemed to me that all the women interviewed had almost the same view-point, more or less; not one had been raised differently, not one mother or daughter stood out, not a single control sample.
Moreover, the research is focused strictly on a certain well-off segment of American society in the 50s, 60s and 70s, but cultural and social aspects are only mentioned in passing. While usefully insisting on the importance of role-models, the work barely touchs upon the effects of poverty, for instance, or cultural norms, schooling, community, politics, urbanisation, connection with nature on raising a child.
Another thorny point here is the almost complete absence of men from the picture. The book somehow leads us to infer that men are not haunted by the same insecurities and idiosyncrasies women are faced with, while this is not true.
As I said, I did enjoy the book, in spite of its inherent shortcomings (psychology is an inexact and very limited science) and I would recommend it, as most of it still rings true. I also look forward to reading Nancy Friday's other books and I am sorry she hasn't published anything new in quite a while.
August 26, 2016
Yo crecí con este libro en mi casa, y lo leí un montón de veces. Sí, creo que tiene UN MONTÓN DE ERRORES y generalizaciones y conceptos que ya no corren, pero igual le pongo cinco estrellas. Por varias razones.
1. Está muy, muy bien escrito. Podría casi servir de novela. Uno goza con las historias.
2. Toca temas que son tabús, o que eran tabús, sobre todo para cierta edad. Para mí fue un alivio contar con este libro mientras crecía, y no porque mi mamá no quisiera hablar conmigo, YO no quería hablar con ella sobre algunas cosas, pero ese libro me contestaba preguntas, aunque lo hiciera a veces mal.
3. Es bastante innovador para la época en que fue escrito.
4. Creo que sí tiene razón en algunas cosas, interesantes y reveladoras, en especial para mí entonces.
5. Pese a ser algo psicológico y escrito de modo científico, es liviano. No quiero ser malvada con la escritora, no creo que fuera su intención, o quizá en mi caso fue una consecuencia de leerlo tanto, pero muchas veces cumplió para mí el rol de "libro para pasar el rato", mientras a uno le hacían llamar a la telepizza o a los concursos de la televisión, y daban el tono de espera.
6. Es un trabajo sincero, escrito con el corazón y también con la cabeza. Aunque no siempre dé (según yo, y varios de ustedes) las conclusiones que uno daría, y merece ser tomado con seriedad. En especial porque, ya lo dije, fue uno de los primeros trabajos del tema, en un terreno entonces casi inexplorado.
7. Eso es todo lo que se me ocurre por ahora. Jajaja. Eso y que, cuando vaya de visita a la casa paternal, me lo voy a robar para tenerlo siempre y leerlo cada vez que quiera.
1. Está muy, muy bien escrito. Podría casi servir de novela. Uno goza con las historias.
2. Toca temas que son tabús, o que eran tabús, sobre todo para cierta edad. Para mí fue un alivio contar con este libro mientras crecía, y no porque mi mamá no quisiera hablar conmigo, YO no quería hablar con ella sobre algunas cosas, pero ese libro me contestaba preguntas, aunque lo hiciera a veces mal.
3. Es bastante innovador para la época en que fue escrito.
4. Creo que sí tiene razón en algunas cosas, interesantes y reveladoras, en especial para mí entonces.
5. Pese a ser algo psicológico y escrito de modo científico, es liviano. No quiero ser malvada con la escritora, no creo que fuera su intención, o quizá en mi caso fue una consecuencia de leerlo tanto, pero muchas veces cumplió para mí el rol de "libro para pasar el rato", mientras a uno le hacían llamar a la telepizza o a los concursos de la televisión, y daban el tono de espera.
6. Es un trabajo sincero, escrito con el corazón y también con la cabeza. Aunque no siempre dé (según yo, y varios de ustedes) las conclusiones que uno daría, y merece ser tomado con seriedad. En especial porque, ya lo dije, fue uno de los primeros trabajos del tema, en un terreno entonces casi inexplorado.
7. Eso es todo lo que se me ocurre por ahora. Jajaja. Eso y que, cuando vaya de visita a la casa paternal, me lo voy a robar para tenerlo siempre y leerlo cada vez que quiera.
June 14, 2016
This is a book that I have left out for years to read and re-read. Having loss my mom at 12, this book serves as continuing therapy. It has reinstated that my thoughts and feelings are shared by others like me. There are not only words on the pages of this book, but also kinder feelings, life events , disappointments, guilt, bad decisions and questions that have lived in my heart for so long.
It reminds me that I am a member of a big club that I would rather not be a part of. If you have loss a mother, regardless of when or your age, it should be a must read.
It reminds me that I am a member of a big club that I would rather not be a part of. If you have loss a mother, regardless of when or your age, it should be a must read.
July 10, 2020
it was sorta interesting. found it kind of hard to really get into
December 11, 2011
I recently came across a tattered copy at the JALT "Books Doing Good" table and decided to reread this book. I first read it in 1980 or so, and was completely blown away by how "right" Nancy Friday got the complicated mother-daughter relationship. Rereading it 30 years later, I was wondering if it would give me insight to being on the other side of the coin--now I am the MOTHER with a daughter. Although some things still hold true, we are living in a completely different era, and the daughters of women my age grew up in completely different circumstances. I don't think this book would have the same sort of impact on young women nowadays as it did on the women of my generation. But I would be interested in knowing what younger women think of this book. I hope my daughter reads it. I'm giving it 5 stars mainly from my memory of reading it the first time around--not this time....
May 7, 2011
When this was published (1977), I tried to read it. I couldn't handle it. Now as the mother of an adult daughter and as a daughter with a life-long conflicting relationship her mother AND writing a book about single parenting, I thought I should try again. The book may be dated in places, but the concepts still present a thoughtful challenge. I do have a tendency to stop and get back to work on my book, but I won't give up. For those daughters of any age who do not understand their relationship with mother and those mothers building adult relationships with daughters, this is THE BOOK. If, like me, you cannot read it in one sitting, don't give up.
October 2, 2011
This is a book of revelations, and a book that many daughter's (and mother's) could benefit by reading. It talks about and takes a psychological look at how we are like our mother's and why it is so hard to accept or realize that. It also attempts to engage one in self discovery and how we form our identity. As a psychologist I have recommended this book to many young women struggling with their mom's, having a hard time understanding them, and even having a love/hate affair and not knowing why. I think many women would read this book, and go "Ahhh, that's why!" or recognize themselves and their thoughts, struggles, dillemas with their mom's.
June 17, 2016
Whilst I felt there were some really quite interesting and relevant points raised here, the old-fashioned thinking and out dated social norms almost irradiated any validity of them.
I sped read/skimmed the last 100 pages. I couldn't take any more! I think I will go back to the places where I feel she was touching upon something, and write about how that applies to me, and forget the things she spoke about that I believe to be totally irrelevant/inconsequential now. (I hope!) Or perhaps re-read if I ever have a daughter!!!
I sped read/skimmed the last 100 pages. I couldn't take any more! I think I will go back to the places where I feel she was touching upon something, and write about how that applies to me, and forget the things she spoke about that I believe to be totally irrelevant/inconsequential now. (I hope!) Or perhaps re-read if I ever have a daughter!!!
April 20, 2012
Incredible book! Every daughter on earth should read it. The chapters in the book:
1) Mother love
2)A time to be close
3)A time to let go
4)Body image and menstruation
5)Competition
6)The other girls
7) Surrogates and models
8) Men the mystery
9) The loss of virginity
10) The single years
11) Marriage: the return to symbiosis
12) A mother dies. A daughter is born. The cycle repeats.
1) Mother love
2)A time to be close
3)A time to let go
4)Body image and menstruation
5)Competition
6)The other girls
7) Surrogates and models
8) Men the mystery
9) The loss of virginity
10) The single years
11) Marriage: the return to symbiosis
12) A mother dies. A daughter is born. The cycle repeats.
December 12, 2017
These stories were OK, but at some points I felt like the authors were blaming the mother for everything. It would be an element of the author's life that was obviously the fault of someone or something other than the mom, and yet... the mom is the answer! This didn't help me. It made me feel like a whiny complainer, and I don't need that.
April 3, 2008
Entertaining psycho-babble, freudian based. The whole book is a compendium of letters and stories from ms. friday's patients or readers about their sex lives and how things stem from their relationship w/their mama.
April 13, 2009
Holy smokes...this is deep stuff. I'm reading this extremely slow. I'm mean REALLY slow. Just in the first page I realized that I need therapy...NOW. Don't read it if you're not ready to accept that you ARE like YOUR mother. Yikes!
September 15, 2013
I was able to better reflect on myself, my relationship with my mother, my childhood, and many of my anxieties while reading this book. Read with an open mind but do consider the different societal dynamics of the time; there are a number of outdated modes of thought expressed by the author.
July 26, 2017
It's a little old but some things are still relevant today. Intetesting read but wouldn't take it too literal since many stories/points don't pertain to everyone. Take what you can out of it & move on.
July 12, 2015
I gave it to my mother to read. She hated it.
June 25, 2023
My Mother My Self is a novel about symbiosis. Forever trapped by guilt, adopted feelings of closeness and fear of losing our mother and therefore part of ourself, we bind ourselves to her forever. We look for men who will take care of us emotionally and financially, we nurse the same anxieties and compulsions our mother had, and we are frightened of indulging in and taking control of our sexuality.
Friday makes some interesting and well explored points here. She connects them with anecdotes from her own personal life, but also glimpses into women's lives nationwide. In her acceptance of the failings of motherhood, in the way our mothers aid in the repressions of the patriarchy, the reader can find a kind of acceptance in her own failings and fears. She asks women to be in control of their sexuality and the make the (albeit often scary) choices to allow ourselves fullness and satisfaction. She gives us closure.
I did feel at points that this book felt loose and ungrounded. Firstly, I think Friday indulges too heavily into Freud's oedipal theory, one that I do not identify with. She did not cement her findings with legitimate research. Her book petered off and felt very hard to finish sometimes- I seriously considered putting this book down (I'm glad I didn't). You definitely need to pick and choose which idea to take with you. She also writes from a very middle class, white American experience, one that sometimes felt hard to relate to. She explores her ideas from a very heteronormative point of view- she writes about personal queer experiences dismissively as mere reflections of a heteronormative relationship.
While Friday would probably not call her book a feminist text, I do think her writing was a well rounded look into gender studies and mother daughter relationships. I think this is an interesting read for anyone, mother, father, daughter, son, wife, husband, sibling, person.
(67/100)
Friday makes some interesting and well explored points here. She connects them with anecdotes from her own personal life, but also glimpses into women's lives nationwide. In her acceptance of the failings of motherhood, in the way our mothers aid in the repressions of the patriarchy, the reader can find a kind of acceptance in her own failings and fears. She asks women to be in control of their sexuality and the make the (albeit often scary) choices to allow ourselves fullness and satisfaction. She gives us closure.
I did feel at points that this book felt loose and ungrounded. Firstly, I think Friday indulges too heavily into Freud's oedipal theory, one that I do not identify with. She did not cement her findings with legitimate research. Her book petered off and felt very hard to finish sometimes- I seriously considered putting this book down (I'm glad I didn't). You definitely need to pick and choose which idea to take with you. She also writes from a very middle class, white American experience, one that sometimes felt hard to relate to. She explores her ideas from a very heteronormative point of view- she writes about personal queer experiences dismissively as mere reflections of a heteronormative relationship.
While Friday would probably not call her book a feminist text, I do think her writing was a well rounded look into gender studies and mother daughter relationships. I think this is an interesting read for anyone, mother, father, daughter, son, wife, husband, sibling, person.
(67/100)
February 3, 2025
I chose it for my PhD. There are interesting ideas that I will bear in mind during my future readings, but here I didn’t find anything that I couldn’t find in other readings. The constant allusions to biological ideas bothered me a bit :(, and I have missed the focus on the adult mother-daughter relationship that I expected. It is much more about mothers than about daughters, which is the problem that researchers find in this field, but there were interesting concepts and memories that I saved for future things.
February 19, 2018
I ended up skimming the second half of the book. Picked it up to better understand my daughter who has come of age and is in college. So it was helpful in some ways, but the book seems to be primarily about sex. I looked up Nancy Friday and learned she was a Feminist sex expert so that made sense, but I didn't realize that going in. I am interested in that aspect of relationship, but that is only one part. Also, I did feel she kept blaming her mother for her self, even though she tried to rectify that in that last chapter which I skimmed. Got a bit out of it, but not as much as I hoped...
August 1, 2011
I was spurred to purchase and first read this book in 1981 by Marilyn French's The Women's Room, which I also re-read recently. Once again, I was disappointed with this one in comparison to The Women's Room. As non-fiction, I found the organization of the ideas and research references difficult to follow, and often found when I finished a page that I had only moved my eyes over the words without taking in any of the content.
December 17, 2015
I had to give up on this one. I only made it to page 150. I grabbed it for 75 cents out of sheer curiosity. I don't think any parent/child relationship is cut and dry. While reading this, I had the feeling of, "It doesn't matter what you do. You are going to mess them up anyway." Honestly, this was a reminder of WHY I refuse to read parenting books! Just do the best you can and hopefully it will all work out!
January 23, 2008
i read this in the late 80's. i was entirely too pissed off to make any connections. i mean, it kind of spoke to me because my mom used to be a real asshole, but we're not blood related. i have no information about the one i am related to, so the 'symbiotic' analysis left me chaffed.
all in all, ech.
all in all, ech.
November 15, 2009
Finally finished reading the second half! I will definitely go back and read this again - there's so much in it that perhaps I wasn't "ready" for the first time. This book really helped me explore my feelings regarding my childhood and why I still struggle today. I highly recommend it for any woman.
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