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Out of the Cocoon: A Young Woman's Courageous Flight from the Grip of a Religious Cult
This is an UPDATED EDITION 2019. (First paperback edition was in 2006/ebook in 2011.) OUT OF THE COCOON is a heart-wrenching, yet inspirational tale about the author's escape from a religious cult after enduring decades of dysfunction. Take the incredible journey with her as she survives stifling oppression as a child, physical and emotional abuse as a teenager, and the ultimate the loss of her family once she becomes an adult. See how, like a butterfly, she changes the world within her, as her external world becomes increasingly unyielding. This book is a "must read" for anyone who has experienced abuse, alcoholism, single parenthood, serious depression, or a parent's rejection. Discover more about your own life through Brenda Lee's introspective, yet humorous flight from insanity. Learn how you, too, can emerge OUT OF THE COCOON to create a future brimming with unconditional love and lasting happiness.“I have to say that it was quite chilling reading Brenda's account of her childhood... because it could have been me writing the same thing. Many people are unaware of what Jehovah's Witnesses REALLY teach and how they enslave you once you are baptized, usually without complete information about this cult. Both my husband and myself and our two sons were able to break free from this cult... but even after 5 years of freedom, we are still feeling the effects of shunning and psychological damage. I hope that by reading this well-written account by Brenda, that those who may be contemplating joining Jehovah's Witnesses as a baptized member will realize how deceptive and cruel this religion is. I applaud the author for coming forth and speaking for all of us who have been devastated by the unloving and unchristian actions of Jehovah's Witnesses!” — Catherine Laszewski“OUT OF THE COCOON is a powerful and touching account of one young woman's journey to freedom from repression and religious intolerance. I picked it up one evening and couldn't stop reading until I was finished late that night. It will touch you on the deeper levels of spiritual freedom and growth.” — Steve Chandler, Author of REINVENTING YOURSELF"OUT OF THE COCOON is a story about the damage a cult can do to a loving family and shows the long-lasting rippled effect that can affect a child later in life. Courage to go against the current comes from deep inside a person when it would be much easier to go with the flow. Brenda Lee is one of those who has shown such courage. Like the young man David, who picked up three stones and slung them at the giant, Goliath, Brenda Lee chose to pick up her pen to shatter the Watchtower's image, just as it tried to shatter hers. I applaud her courage, and her strength to discover the person she truly is — against all odds." — Roy Milton, Author of TRUTH OR CONSEQUENCESABOUT THE Brenda Lee was born on a rural farm in Pennsylvania in 1962 and moved to Colorado in 1980. Early on, she began her love of writing through journaling and as the editor of her high school’s creative writing project entitled, “Special Feelings.” She graduated from college with honors in Denver, CO.Brenda writes, produces, and edits an internationally renowned newsletter that helps former cult members take flight and is involved in counter-cult work through her seminars entitled, “Understanding What You Need to Know to Protect Your Family.” Since her memoir OUT OF THE COCOON was first published in 2006, she has appeared on many radio programs around the world, has delivered countless speeches, and has participated in numerous book signings. She made an appearance on a nationally televised broadcast of “The Secret Lives of Women” in September 2009.
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First published January 1, 2010
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About the author
Brenda Lee
1 book1 followerBrenda Lee was born on a rural farm in Pennsylvania in 1962 and moved to Colorado in 1980. Early on, she began her love of writing through journaling and as the editor of her high school’s creative writing project entitled, “Special Feelings.” She graduated from college with honors in Denver, Colorado.
Brenda writes, produces and edits an internationally renowned newsletter that helps former cult members take flight and is involved in counter-cult work through her seminars entitled, “Understanding Cults: What You Need to Know to Protect Your Family.” Feel free to contact her to schedule an event for your church, women’s empowerment, youth, or survivor’s group, etc.
Since her memoir Out of the Cocoon was published in 2006, she has appeared on over a dozen radio programs around the world, has delivered countless speeches and has participated in numerous book signings for Barnes and Noble, Borders and Waldenbooks. Brenda will be making her nationally televised appearance on “The Secret Lives of Women”(WEtv) in September 2009.
Reflecting back on her life in a cult, Brenda’s motto is, “Acceptance of anything outside your control is liberating.” She considers herself both resourceful and tenacious. At age 47 she became a certified scuba diver, despite the fact that she has nearly drowned twice in her life.
Today she joyfully embraces every moment with her son, Derek, and two dogs, Scruffy and Razz Matazz, relishing her life Out of the Cocoon.
Brenda writes, produces and edits an internationally renowned newsletter that helps former cult members take flight and is involved in counter-cult work through her seminars entitled, “Understanding Cults: What You Need to Know to Protect Your Family.” Feel free to contact her to schedule an event for your church, women’s empowerment, youth, or survivor’s group, etc.
Since her memoir Out of the Cocoon was published in 2006, she has appeared on over a dozen radio programs around the world, has delivered countless speeches and has participated in numerous book signings for Barnes and Noble, Borders and Waldenbooks. Brenda will be making her nationally televised appearance on “The Secret Lives of Women”(WEtv) in September 2009.
Reflecting back on her life in a cult, Brenda’s motto is, “Acceptance of anything outside your control is liberating.” She considers herself both resourceful and tenacious. At age 47 she became a certified scuba diver, despite the fact that she has nearly drowned twice in her life.
Today she joyfully embraces every moment with her son, Derek, and two dogs, Scruffy and Razz Matazz, relishing her life Out of the Cocoon.
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
May 12, 2007
Anyone who believes the Jehovah Witness religion is not a dangerous cult need only read Out of the Cocoon to dispel that myth from their mind. This true story of woman's grueling and terrifying entry and life in the JW's will bring tear to anyone's eyes, yet the book, like life, also has its lighter moments. Brenda Lee provides a warning to all people that this doesn't just happen to somebody else and you don't necessarily have to be a believer to have a cult adversely affect your life.
December 28, 2007
the similarities between this woman's experiences and the first 20 years of my own life creeped me out beyond belief. my family are considered Jehovah's Witness royalty, being able to count membership back to the beginnings of the cult in the 1800's on both my mother and father's side. i managed to get out after years of fighting, knowing if i left i would lose my family and a lifetime's worth of "friends". a hard price to pay but ultimately i just could not live a lie and i walked away (RAN!) alone. even though i have completely rebuilt my life and have a family of my own making, just reading this book made me feel like throwing up several times or doing harm to others hahaha. i think she could have been even more harsh or detailed about some of their practices, but then i was in for a lot longer than she was and probably have a little more inside knowledge AND baggage. yippee for me. i wish i could yell loud enough for anyone who is contemplating joining this group, or knows someone who is - please just RUN THE OTHER WAY.
September 6, 2010
I feel a little badly about my review, mostly because this book is apparently very heartfelt and I'm sure that Lee is a fine person. What she isn't is much of a writer - lots of exclamation points, unnecessary footnotes and general nonsense abound. And not only is the writing poor, but the story itself isn't especially compelling. Lee speaks of being brainwashed by a cult, but it's clear that she never really bought in to the Jehovah's Witness rhetoric, and was simply biding her time until she was free to move away. She tells us next to nothing about the JWs and why they believe what they do, so there's a missed opportunity at something relevant. She was never physically abused by anyone and her attempts at displaying other types of abuse are probably rather insulting to those who have experienced incredibly difficult times - yes, she was married to an alcoholic, which is sad, but hardly novel, and her story about her child being abused in daycare basically boils down to him not getting a bottle on several occasions. Certainly not ideal, but not the great tragedy of our age, either.
Can't recommend this one for anyone.
Can't recommend this one for anyone.
February 12, 2008
This book bugged me a little. I have a hard time reading authors self reflections on their trials and tribulations, they end up sounding weak and whiny to me. The author talks with horror about getting on the wrong bus one day after work and how that traumatized her for life, that is a little to sensationalized and melodramatic for me.
September 13, 2011
I bought this book because I have been very interested lately in personal stories of others who, like myself, had been involved in a cult at some point in their lives. I've read some horrific stories of inhumanity, courageous people who fought back, and then some accounts that were simply quite mild in comparison. This book falls in the last group for me. Her book reads like an amateurish self-published journal of a young girl prone to over-sensationalizing the mundane. The writing is poor, the editing is lacking, and the publisher ... just go check out his website. Enough said.
Although I wanted to be respectful of the author because it appears that she has done some good work outside of this book in helping people who have left the cult, I don't see that this book sheds much light at all on the doctrines and practices of the Jehovah's Witnesses. Beyond the handful of things that are already well-known - no Pledge of Allegiance, no blood transfusion, no Christmas, and you get excommunicated if you leave - the author teaches us little more. Based on the other reviews, the book seems to have a very limited audience of those who enjoyed the book - primarily those who had also left the JWs and have found in Brenda Lee a kindred spirit with whom to commiserate.
I also wanted to be sympathetic of the author because of my own experiences in a religious cult, but instead found her story rather ordinary in many ways with experiences that are not nearly as unique as she claimed of those living as JWs. I imagine every child who ever attended a Catholic mass, a Baptist church, a Jewish synagogue, or practically any other religious service on the planet has squirmed in his/her seat for what felt like an unbearable amount of time listening to a bunch of stuff they had no interest in listening to because their parents made them sit there. I think everyone can relate to a period in their life when they felt unloved or misunderstood by their parents (isn't that the definition of teenager?) And many kids don't have the fun-filled, care-free life the author feels was singularly robbed from her because of her mother's beliefs. There are children all over the world who have grown up in far worse conditions that she did (oh, the horror! Mom threw my Barbie dolls away! Mom gave a pie to my sister and not me!) - countless children who live in utter poverty, unspeakable violence, watch their family get murdered before their eyes by gang members, lie in hospital beds with cancer or other life-threatening conditions, or who have been physically and sexually abused. Brenda Lee's childhood wasn't perfect, but neither was that of anyone I know. Everyone had their "stuff" to deal with and some of it was a hell of a lot worse than hers.
She mentions throughout the book how isolated she was and that she was "all alone in the world" and yet in many places she refers to quite a few of her school friends, some of whom she goes back to visit. This comes across as more of the "woe is me, life isn't fair and nobody loves me" kind of attitude that doesn't match up with the facts in her own story. She talks of how hard it is for someone to "escape" the cult, when basically all she did was walk out the door when she was of age. No one hunted her down and dragged her back against her will. Again, I think most, if not all, adolescents look forward to their own "escape" into adulthood in much the same way, only to find a pretty common life with ordinary struggles once they leave their parents' rules and authority (and that has nothing to do with religion.) Most young adults also go through a period of time either physically or emotionally separated from their families, either by choice or conflict, as part of normal development into mature adulthood.
After her less-than eventful "escape", her life goes down well-worn paths of young adults all over the world. Her story then could be anyone's, except perhaps for her perception that everything bad that happens to her is because of the Jehovah's Witnesses, even though they only show up one time in the whole rest of her book.
The books then derails completely and becomes a personal rant about the childcare system in America. That has nothing to do with religion. It also seemed again to be quite exaggerated in her world view of "woe is me, I am all alone." It's hard to believe that during all that time, she didn't make a handful of new friends whom she could call on for a favor here and there. She continues to play the victim, long after the Boogie Man is out of the picture.
Then, finally, at the end we are treated with several poems the author wrote. I am not a connoisseur of fine poetry, but I think I can safely say these are not. I restrained from gagging, but confess to eye-rolling.
Although I wanted to be respectful of the author because it appears that she has done some good work outside of this book in helping people who have left the cult, I don't see that this book sheds much light at all on the doctrines and practices of the Jehovah's Witnesses. Beyond the handful of things that are already well-known - no Pledge of Allegiance, no blood transfusion, no Christmas, and you get excommunicated if you leave - the author teaches us little more. Based on the other reviews, the book seems to have a very limited audience of those who enjoyed the book - primarily those who had also left the JWs and have found in Brenda Lee a kindred spirit with whom to commiserate.
I also wanted to be sympathetic of the author because of my own experiences in a religious cult, but instead found her story rather ordinary in many ways with experiences that are not nearly as unique as she claimed of those living as JWs. I imagine every child who ever attended a Catholic mass, a Baptist church, a Jewish synagogue, or practically any other religious service on the planet has squirmed in his/her seat for what felt like an unbearable amount of time listening to a bunch of stuff they had no interest in listening to because their parents made them sit there. I think everyone can relate to a period in their life when they felt unloved or misunderstood by their parents (isn't that the definition of teenager?) And many kids don't have the fun-filled, care-free life the author feels was singularly robbed from her because of her mother's beliefs. There are children all over the world who have grown up in far worse conditions that she did (oh, the horror! Mom threw my Barbie dolls away! Mom gave a pie to my sister and not me!) - countless children who live in utter poverty, unspeakable violence, watch their family get murdered before their eyes by gang members, lie in hospital beds with cancer or other life-threatening conditions, or who have been physically and sexually abused. Brenda Lee's childhood wasn't perfect, but neither was that of anyone I know. Everyone had their "stuff" to deal with and some of it was a hell of a lot worse than hers.
She mentions throughout the book how isolated she was and that she was "all alone in the world" and yet in many places she refers to quite a few of her school friends, some of whom she goes back to visit. This comes across as more of the "woe is me, life isn't fair and nobody loves me" kind of attitude that doesn't match up with the facts in her own story. She talks of how hard it is for someone to "escape" the cult, when basically all she did was walk out the door when she was of age. No one hunted her down and dragged her back against her will. Again, I think most, if not all, adolescents look forward to their own "escape" into adulthood in much the same way, only to find a pretty common life with ordinary struggles once they leave their parents' rules and authority (and that has nothing to do with religion.) Most young adults also go through a period of time either physically or emotionally separated from their families, either by choice or conflict, as part of normal development into mature adulthood.
After her less-than eventful "escape", her life goes down well-worn paths of young adults all over the world. Her story then could be anyone's, except perhaps for her perception that everything bad that happens to her is because of the Jehovah's Witnesses, even though they only show up one time in the whole rest of her book.
The books then derails completely and becomes a personal rant about the childcare system in America. That has nothing to do with religion. It also seemed again to be quite exaggerated in her world view of "woe is me, I am all alone." It's hard to believe that during all that time, she didn't make a handful of new friends whom she could call on for a favor here and there. She continues to play the victim, long after the Boogie Man is out of the picture.
Then, finally, at the end we are treated with several poems the author wrote. I am not a connoisseur of fine poetry, but I think I can safely say these are not. I restrained from gagging, but confess to eye-rolling.
July 12, 2011
One brave woman's story about her escape from a cult. I enjoyed Brenda Lee's writing style, she tackles issues head on. I could relate to parts of the book about being tied down to a cult, but also her struggles as a single mom. There are no thrills and spills, this book is just about life and sometimes life just happens.
May 27, 2009
This book is a wonderful read !!
I'm not the only one that went through this Jehovah Witness organization and survived !
Brenda Lee and I have been blessed !
I'm not the only one that went through this Jehovah Witness organization and survived !
Brenda Lee and I have been blessed !
February 16, 2020
She's like totally long winded...
And wrong.
Also wrong.
How crap like this makes me feel towards humanity in general, particularly when looking at the more positive reviews:
Cover's pretty cute, though. I do love butterflies. Too bad it's wasted on this drivel.
March 12, 2022
This would have been a 1 star review were it not for the fact that the author has survived so much because of her years in a cult that she has to be forgiven at least some of her character traits. However...she's judgmental, lets her father almost completely off the hook for his poor behavior and decisions, is entitled when it comes to expecting others to care for her child, and the fact that she bolded every "hope" and "dream" in the text annoyed me.
January 24, 2009
blah blah blah...
My dad would say "get a stool and get over it!"
I didn't realize this was a self-help genre book or I wouldn't have picked it up. I thought it would be a lot better. I am also reading "the other side of war". This book cowers in comparison to the things that these women had to go through.
One quote I liked was "Common sense is not so common". Isn't that true? And I learned that if you can stay at home with your children, then you are blessed because some mom cannot afford to do it.
My dad would say "get a stool and get over it!"
I didn't realize this was a self-help genre book or I wouldn't have picked it up. I thought it would be a lot better. I am also reading "the other side of war". This book cowers in comparison to the things that these women had to go through.
One quote I liked was "Common sense is not so common". Isn't that true? And I learned that if you can stay at home with your children, then you are blessed because some mom cannot afford to do it.
August 18, 2016
I've been doing some research on the JW's including reading some memoirs of people who left. I found the author's story to be helpful and informative. The writing is adequate - not great, but interesting enough to read easily. I'm left feeling sad, though, for people who suffer under the tyranny of false religious teaching and never experience Jesus' true grace and love for themselves.
September 10, 2014
I read this book few years ago and it inspired me to publically stand up against the JW organization. I could relate to Out of the Cocoon 100% and I admire all that Brenda continues to do to expose this dangerous cult.
December 30, 2009
This was one of the books my mum and I read when we first moved here. And I really liked it. I would recommend it for anyone. It has a very good story.
March 2, 2025
Inspirational and Heartwarming
I highly recommend this book to anyone who has been in a cult or dysfunctional relationship. It was a fascinating journey that had me in tears while also cheering Brenda on. She is a strong brave woman and inspires me to never give up. I wish I had someone like her in my life when I escaped the JW cult at the age of 15.
I highly recommend this book to anyone who has been in a cult or dysfunctional relationship. It was a fascinating journey that had me in tears while also cheering Brenda on. She is a strong brave woman and inspires me to never give up. I wish I had someone like her in my life when I escaped the JW cult at the age of 15.
June 15, 2021
A very revealing story of how a child's life can be changed overnight by a mother who decides to embrace a religious belief. Then after escaping when she's 18 to start a new life in a new city and finding a home, while finding her true strong self!
May 29, 2012
Wow this story hit home again and again. So many time I had to step back and give myself some space as painful memories flooded back.
April 6, 2013
Brenda Lee's story about growing up in the Jehovah's Witnesses and the life long estrangement from her family once she left.
September 28, 2013
Powerful story of survival by a very strong woman. She describes the trauma of losing half her family to the Jehovah's Witness cult
January 11, 2014
It was an OK read. First half of the book details how her family was integrated into the JW cult, the second half is about her trying to heal and move on.
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews