Museum of Kitschy Stitches: A Gallery of Notorious Knits

by Stitchy McYarnpants

A Fashion Tour-de-Farce!
Welcome to The Museum of Kitschy Stitches, the astonishingly awful collection of the finest knitting and crocheting horrors the twentieth century has to offer. From hideous hats and gender-bending sweater sets to a set of bonus patterns that will bring the kitsch home, this gallery of notorious knits delivers it all.
Remember, one person’s inspiration can become another’s desperation quicker than you can drop a stitch!

Genres: Knitting, Humor, Nonfiction, Crafts, Crochet, Fashion, History

128 pages, Hardcover

First published June 1, 2006

About the author

Debbie Brisson, a.k.a. Stitchy McYarnpants was born to be a knitter. Her parents met at Pandora, a sweater mill set on the Merrimack River in Manchester, NH. She is powerless against knitting.

Add to that her love for all things vintage, the kitschier the better, and you've got a good look at what makes her tick. If it's goofy, mostly useless, and steeped in the irony of popular culture's most embarrassing moments, she'll take two. Stitchy is the creator and curator of the Museum of Kitschy Stitches, an online (www.yarnpants.com) and in print gallery of notorious knits.

When she isn't knitting, sewing or trying to resist the siren's call of eBay, she can be found slaving away in the software mines of Massachusetts.

Reviews

[Melki]

Other than a scarf or twelve, the only yarn-based article of clothing I've created is a chunky pair of crocheted leg-warmers so hideous they could scare Jane Fonda into joining the John Birch Society. But, I am, however, a connoisseur of vintage knitting and crochet magazines like The Workbasket and McCall's Needlework and Crafts . . . so naturally I flipped when I first saw this title. And, I'm happy to say the book is even better than I dreamed it would be. Not only are there photos galore of some of the ugliest garments ever cranked out by human hands (and needles), but the author's snarky comments are freakin' priceless!

From some of the earliest and ickiest knitted "finery"



To the let-it-all-hang-out sixties and seventies, when a woman felt free to crochet a lacy item that could function as either a "Macrame plant holder or breezy summer top?"



Here are the worst of the worst examples of handmade attire.


Suspect your man is cheating, gals? Make him a candy-colored striped sweater. "Clearly this is revenge knitting at its finest."

And who could forget those Granny Square vests? I proudly sported mine in the fifth grade!


(My husband flat out admitted he does not love me enough to wear one of these in public . . . even if I made it with my own little hands and fingers.)

So, if looking at repulsive togs sets your heart aflutter, this book will have you in stitches.


Really, really ugly stitches.

[Stitchy McYarnpants]

I loved it, the humor really resonated with me. But I may be biased . . .

[Rosa]

Some of these things are really funny! Occasionally the commentary is, too. But she’s trying hard to be Lileks, and she’s just not as funny as he is. Still, I was laughing through the whole thing.

[Rozanne]

Totally, totally hilarious. I saw this book in Powell's, and started laughing out loud after reading one or two pages and taking a glance at one or two of the preposterous knit and crocheted outfits on display. Even so, I couldn't really justify a purchase, but I did go to the trouble of ordering it through Interlibrary Loan (!). Totally worth it. Crocheted shorts with granny square pockets. Imagine wearing something like that? Or a knitted one-piece bike outfit (complete with a number insert in the back!). Absolutely hideous. And the commentary is truly funny--infinitely better than James Lileks's feeble attempts. Recommended!

[HeavyReader]

In the style of James Lileks, Stitchy McYarnpants (AKA Debbie Brisson) gives the reader multiple examples of several decades worth of yarn crafts gone wrong.

In chapter 4 ("Welcome to Polyesteryear") she talks of colors that "didn't just clash..." but "...engaged in epic battle." That line cracked me up and made the book worth reading!

Most of the funniness really doesn't come through if one is not looking at the accompanying photos, so I won't quote more, but there's a lot of good stuff in here.

If you like crafts or yarn or kitsch, you should borrow this book from your public library and spend the hour or so it will take for you to read the words and howl at the pictures.

[Valerie]

I especially liked the knitted ties... I might make one for my husband from the handy instructions included in the back of the book. My one disappointment was that there were no instructions included for the hamburger pillow set. What an oversight!

[Ligaya]

I just had surgery 9 days ago and laughing really hurts but I finished the entire book because it was worth the pain. So hilarious!!! And I really LOVE granny squares! (And I kinda loved the granny square dog coats, p. 86, "Non-surgical method of neutering male dogs.") Oh, what to do!!!

[Jacki]

Knit and crochet failures through the years, with hilarious write-ups of each one.

So many tragic wastes of yarn!

[Tonileg]

Very funny and cute which would make a great gag gift for the knitter in your family (hey! everyone has at least one!). I'm not so sure about the few crazy patterns in the back, this is NOT a knitting pattern book (which is what I thought when I bought it on amazon!). This is just a fun quick silly read about ridiculous knitted items that really should never had been made, its like a huge waste of good yarn! But very funny when read with the distance of a modern reader/knitter.
Hard cover version with 128 pages in an odd format which will look a little crazy in my yarn book collection
3 stars

[Stephen]

You know why crocheted clothes for men never took off? Because we'd see their balls. And who needs that?

Stitchy has done some wonderful work here, and in my humble opinion the book could only been have improved with suggestions for the future of yarn-based clothing, such as Halloween capes your children will hate , boots they aren't worth a damn, and shag cell phone protectors. The future is in shag and pompoms, baby, it really is.

[Shawn Bird]

So funny! This book looks at old craft magazine projects with a sarcastic and brutal eye for their absurdities. Every time I uncover this book lurking in the back room, I read it through giggling from cover to cover. Excellent gift for a knitter/crocheter in your family. Or those of you who love one, and tolerate their odd, but heartfelt gifts to you.

[Kelli]

This reminded me of James Lileks' books. The author takes vintage craft patterns-mainly crochet and knitting and adds funny captions. There are few things more disturbing than a crocheted evening gown or the father and son in matching homemade sweaters.

[Canned Laughter (Joie)]

Brings back all the mothball scented horror of Christmases with my Grandmother's scratchy improbably-colored crocheted atrocities. Hilarious. Visit here for a taste of this splendid snark http://bit.ly/XWjKc

[Teena in Toronto]

This is a great book for knitters. Some of these patterns are really scary. Some?! I mean ALL! Definitely worth a look if you are a knitter to see how styles have changed over the years.

Blog review: http://www.teenaintoronto.com/2007/01...

[Elisabeth]

Hilarious! I expected only the photos to be funny, and generally I find these kinds of humor books cannot sustain themselves. However, McYarnpants is quite funny and clever in her writing and had me in stitches all the way through! (Sorry--that one was punavoidable.)

[Kirsti]

Have you ever wanted to make granny squares into hot pants, so you can look like you're wearing a bunch of potholders? Then have I got the book for you. This is a silly but fun collection that dares to ask the question, "Hat . . . or Growth?"

[Amy]

Too stinkin' hilarious. The pictures are funny, the writing hilarious. I love this woman!

[Elizabeth]

Part of my fashion books library...

[Kim]

This book rocks! I laughed so hard I peed my pants.

[Michelle]

I loved this book! If you liked the book, you should also check out the website: http://www.stitchymcyarnpants.com/mok...

[Laura]

Some fabulous snarkiness combined with cheesy knitting patterns. Hubby and I almost wet ourselves reading it in the bookstore, finally decided we had to buy it!

[Alison]

Snorting, choking funny. Do not read in public!

[Stephanie]

There's a chapter subtitled "Bad Girls, Worse Outfits" over which I laughed so hard my face muscles hurt.

[Pamels]

Hilarious.

[Breanne]

Fantastic pictures! I only wish they had included the patterns.

[Mary Warner]

Eff-in' hilarious. I laughed so hard, I almost cried. This book is a must for fiber artists, who'll get the jokes about god-awful patterns.

[Kim]

ROFL

[Dawna]

Silly fun. Not all of the patterns were that out there but the book had it's laugh out loud moments.

[Kim]

I covet the outfits in this book.

[Erin]

Hilarious.