What do you think?
Rate this book
Hold It 'Til It Hurts: A Novel
A black veteran of Afghanistan searches for his missing brother in “a rich and passionate” debut novel exploring issues of race, war, and family (Kirkus Reviews, starred review). When Achilles Conroy and his brother Troy return from a tour of duty in Afghanistan, their white mother presents them with the key to their envelopes containing details about their respective birth parents. After Troy disappears, Achilles—always his brother’s keeper—embarks on a harrowing journey in search of Troy, an experience that will change him forever. Heartbreaking, intimate, and at times disturbing, Hold It ’Til It Hurts is a modern-day odyssey through war, adventure, disaster, and love, and explores how people who do not define themselves by race make sense of a world that does.
448 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 9, 2012
25 people are currently reading
803 people want to read
About the author
T. Geronimo Johnson
5 books151 followersBorn and raised in New Orleans, T. Geronimo Johnson received his MFA from the Iowa Writers’ Workshop and his M.A. in Language, Literacy, and Culture from UC Berkeley. He has taught writing and held fellowships—including a Stegner Fellowship and an Iowa Arts Fellowship—at Arizona State University, the University of Iowa, UC Berkeley, Western Michigan University and Stanford. His first novel, Hold it ‘Til it Hurts, was a finalist for the 2013 PEN/Faulkner Award for fiction Johnson is currently a visiting professor at the Iowa Writers’ Workshop. He lives in Berkeley, California.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 53 reviews
March 23, 2022
This is not the kind of book that would normally make it onto my radar, but when Sherman Alexie chose it for the WSJ Bookclub, saying "I don’t think a book by another man has ever made me cry as much…", I thought I'd check it out. I'm glad I did.
Briefly, Achilles and Troy are the African-American adopted sons of a white couple from Maryland. Their father died while they were in transit, travelling home from their second tour in Afghanistan (Goddamnistan), so they are surprised to arrive home and find the funeral about to take place. He had always wanted the boys to have the opportunity to trace their birth-parents, so their mother acts upon those wishes, giving each of the brothers a blue envelope after the funeral. Achilles adamantly rejects his, while Troy is a bit more open to the idea. The next morning, Troy has disappeared. After a few days Achilles goes in search of his brother - and that is the backbone of the story; Achilles' odyssey in search of his brother. What the story is about is race and identity.
racism is the bus that runs us over, every day, and while maybe only the racists are driving, every white is along for the ride
There's some pretty powerful stuff in there, from descriptions of what went on in Afghanistan, to what it was like in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina.
The little red duplex was tagged with the spray paint circle and cross and the number three, indicating that three bodies were found.
Bose was red in the face, stuttering, trying to explain the feeling of witnessing destruction on a scale usually reserved for wartime.
...you know damn well if this were Malibu or Key West or Galveston, they would have evacuated these people in a heartbeat. It's some dark shit when your country lets you sit out on a highway in hundred-degree weather and die just because you're black and poor.
But overall, it didn't have the emotional impact for me that it did for Sherman Alexie. At least not until the very end when I wept through the final chapter or two. I know this is because I am not male or brown and I don't have any direct experience or connections with war or the military, so I'm not discounting it at all. What I do know about is being part of a family, so that's the bit at the end that tugged on my emotions.
Sometimes I felt a bit lost in the story, and strangely, this is one of the things that I admired about the book. Achilles is a different kind of 'unreliable narrator'. He lies to and hides the truth from the other characters, but not from us, the readers. Still, I sometimes found it difficult to decide what was true and what was not. Ines, the love interest, accuses him: "Your grieving voice sounds exactly like your lying voice." (She's onto him by this point...)
On top of that there was the author's tendency to go a bit too far with the 'show, don't tell' rule. A good example was where someone has died and then we are at the funeral - but hang on! - this funeral is for someone else altogether!!!! (And it took me paaaaaages to work this out!)
Overall, I liked it. I liked the writing, and I liked the way the author let me take the story the way I wanted to.
Briefly, Achilles and Troy are the African-American adopted sons of a white couple from Maryland. Their father died while they were in transit, travelling home from their second tour in Afghanistan (Goddamnistan), so they are surprised to arrive home and find the funeral about to take place. He had always wanted the boys to have the opportunity to trace their birth-parents, so their mother acts upon those wishes, giving each of the brothers a blue envelope after the funeral. Achilles adamantly rejects his, while Troy is a bit more open to the idea. The next morning, Troy has disappeared. After a few days Achilles goes in search of his brother - and that is the backbone of the story; Achilles' odyssey in search of his brother. What the story is about is race and identity.
racism is the bus that runs us over, every day, and while maybe only the racists are driving, every white is along for the ride
There's some pretty powerful stuff in there, from descriptions of what went on in Afghanistan, to what it was like in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina.
The little red duplex was tagged with the spray paint circle and cross and the number three, indicating that three bodies were found.
Bose was red in the face, stuttering, trying to explain the feeling of witnessing destruction on a scale usually reserved for wartime.
...you know damn well if this were Malibu or Key West or Galveston, they would have evacuated these people in a heartbeat. It's some dark shit when your country lets you sit out on a highway in hundred-degree weather and die just because you're black and poor.
But overall, it didn't have the emotional impact for me that it did for Sherman Alexie. At least not until the very end when I wept through the final chapter or two. I know this is because I am not male or brown and I don't have any direct experience or connections with war or the military, so I'm not discounting it at all. What I do know about is being part of a family, so that's the bit at the end that tugged on my emotions.
Sometimes I felt a bit lost in the story, and strangely, this is one of the things that I admired about the book. Achilles is a different kind of 'unreliable narrator'. He lies to and hides the truth from the other characters, but not from us, the readers. Still, I sometimes found it difficult to decide what was true and what was not. Ines, the love interest, accuses him: "Your grieving voice sounds exactly like your lying voice." (She's onto him by this point...)
On top of that there was the author's tendency to go a bit too far with the 'show, don't tell' rule. A good example was where someone has died and then we are at the funeral - but hang on! - this funeral is for someone else altogether!!!! (And it took me paaaaaages to work this out!)
Overall, I liked it. I liked the writing, and I liked the way the author let me take the story the way I wanted to.
September 29, 2012
What a journey! I loved this book. T. Geronimo Johnson creates character complexity like a painter by using strokes of backstory, flashback and subtle yet impactful statements that provide remarkable amounts of detail. After reading the first chapter I was amazed about how much I knew about the characters. I didn't know then how deep Johnson would take me. He delves into the manifold ways of defining a family, the horrors of war, the impact on those who fight them and those who stay home, and the ongoing class and racial conflicts happening in America.
Johnson clearly enjoys surprising his readers and uses twists to keep them engaged and the plot flowing. He employs the occasional glint of humour to keep the dark topics that he explores sufficiently lit. Like Michael Ondaatje, Johnson is a master of creating profound phrasing. He does this, however, without Ondaatje's pretentiousness.
I cannot recommend this book enough. I travel to work every day on a Parisian commuter train. This book made me miss my stop and by the time I noticed and got back on track I was half an hour late for work. I sheepishly crept into the office with a smile.
January 11, 2013
I published this review for the San Francisco Chronicle:
There's something primeval and powerful in stories about brotherhood, that relationship fraught with competition and accountability and a caring that begins before we know how to protect our hearts. That is why some of the earliest literary tragedies focus on brothers: In the Bible, Cain succumbs to his jealous rage toward Abel, knowing all the while in his heart that he is indeed his brother's keeper; in the Mahabharata, Arjuna kills Karna, his lifelong rival, only to learn that he has destroyed his eldest brother, abandoned at birth by their mother.
With a true writer's instinct, T. Geronimo Johnson knows this, and his superb first novel, "Hold It 'Til It Hurts," forms itself around a troubled brotherly bond the way a pearl forms around an irritant that is impossible to cast out.
The novel pulls us into itself with dizzying, disconcerting rapidity. Within a few pages we learn that the two main characters, Achilles (from whose point of view the story is told) and Troy (the mysterious one whose motives we can only guess at), are brothers who have just returned from a tour of duty in "Goddamnistan" to be met with their father's funeral. They are black; their adoptive parents are white.
After the funeral, their mother presents them with sealed envelopes containing information about their birth parents. Achilles leaves his unopened; Troy takes his and disappears without a word. To comfort his distressed mother - and because he has always felt responsible for his younger brother - Achilles sets off on a quest to find Troy and, he hopes, coax him back.
Johnson has a keen eye for the telling gesture. Here is Achilles, imagining the moment when he finally finds Troy: "[H]is embrace, as always, is suffocating and before tears can rise to Achilles's eyes, Troy ... takes advantage of his height by digging his chin into Achilles's shoulder. In retaliation, Achilles digs his fingers into Troy's biceps, and for a moment they grapple as they have since childhood. ... He feels the rush that comes from being shot at - and missed."
Achilles' quest, the journey of the antihero in present-day America, takes him to New Orleans, strikingly described by Johnson - who is a native of the city and now lives in Berkeley - just before Hurricane Katrina devastates it. But it is also a journey into Achilles' past, forcing him to face ghosts he had avoided until now. It is a journey into learning to trust again. It leads him into a relationship with Ines, the voluptuous daughter of a privileged New Orleans family, who is light-skinned enough to pass for white and adamant that everyone should know she is black.
This relationship becomes an occasion for discourses on the nature of interracial relationships, and whether it is possible to transcend the color divisions that society stamps on our psyches. Johnson is better at delineating men than analyzing women, and Ines' voice takes on, at times, a stridency.
When Achilles tries to explain how during the war he had successfully trusted his life to white men, she responds, "All white people aren't bad? Is that a proverb? ... Look around. ... On the job, in the streets, everywhere. We're followed by clerks while some white kid is the one shoplifting; we're pulled over by the police while some white kid whistles by with a trunk full of guns, planning to shoot up his school. Character assassinations against black athletes while corporate criminals bilk investors out of millions."
But the best moments of the relationship are filled with a complicated yearning, Achilles realizing that Ines "was a stranger to him, which made him feel a stranger to himself, like he was scattering, becoming smoke, like he needed her to touch him all over to reconnect the parts."
Of the many journeys the book invites us on, the most poignant is the veteran's journey back into civilian life, attempting to unlearn behaviors that ensured survival and were rewarded with medals but are now suddenly deplorable. It is a multilayered, limping journey - one step forward, two steps back, marked by unexpected bouts of rage and fear - and the fact that it is impossible to explain, to those who haven't experienced it, "that if you stare too long a dead friend looks more and more like a stranger, while a dead stranger looks increasingly like a long-lost friend."
"Hold It 'Til It Hurts" is a novel that defies categorization. It is at once a mystery, a meditation, a modern-day myth, an indictment of war and an ode to love. But this much is clear: This masterfully written book, filled with trenchant observations and unafraid of tenderness, marks Johnson as a writer to watch.
Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/books/article/H...
There's something primeval and powerful in stories about brotherhood, that relationship fraught with competition and accountability and a caring that begins before we know how to protect our hearts. That is why some of the earliest literary tragedies focus on brothers: In the Bible, Cain succumbs to his jealous rage toward Abel, knowing all the while in his heart that he is indeed his brother's keeper; in the Mahabharata, Arjuna kills Karna, his lifelong rival, only to learn that he has destroyed his eldest brother, abandoned at birth by their mother.
With a true writer's instinct, T. Geronimo Johnson knows this, and his superb first novel, "Hold It 'Til It Hurts," forms itself around a troubled brotherly bond the way a pearl forms around an irritant that is impossible to cast out.
The novel pulls us into itself with dizzying, disconcerting rapidity. Within a few pages we learn that the two main characters, Achilles (from whose point of view the story is told) and Troy (the mysterious one whose motives we can only guess at), are brothers who have just returned from a tour of duty in "Goddamnistan" to be met with their father's funeral. They are black; their adoptive parents are white.
After the funeral, their mother presents them with sealed envelopes containing information about their birth parents. Achilles leaves his unopened; Troy takes his and disappears without a word. To comfort his distressed mother - and because he has always felt responsible for his younger brother - Achilles sets off on a quest to find Troy and, he hopes, coax him back.
Johnson has a keen eye for the telling gesture. Here is Achilles, imagining the moment when he finally finds Troy: "[H]is embrace, as always, is suffocating and before tears can rise to Achilles's eyes, Troy ... takes advantage of his height by digging his chin into Achilles's shoulder. In retaliation, Achilles digs his fingers into Troy's biceps, and for a moment they grapple as they have since childhood. ... He feels the rush that comes from being shot at - and missed."
Achilles' quest, the journey of the antihero in present-day America, takes him to New Orleans, strikingly described by Johnson - who is a native of the city and now lives in Berkeley - just before Hurricane Katrina devastates it. But it is also a journey into Achilles' past, forcing him to face ghosts he had avoided until now. It is a journey into learning to trust again. It leads him into a relationship with Ines, the voluptuous daughter of a privileged New Orleans family, who is light-skinned enough to pass for white and adamant that everyone should know she is black.
This relationship becomes an occasion for discourses on the nature of interracial relationships, and whether it is possible to transcend the color divisions that society stamps on our psyches. Johnson is better at delineating men than analyzing women, and Ines' voice takes on, at times, a stridency.
When Achilles tries to explain how during the war he had successfully trusted his life to white men, she responds, "All white people aren't bad? Is that a proverb? ... Look around. ... On the job, in the streets, everywhere. We're followed by clerks while some white kid is the one shoplifting; we're pulled over by the police while some white kid whistles by with a trunk full of guns, planning to shoot up his school. Character assassinations against black athletes while corporate criminals bilk investors out of millions."
But the best moments of the relationship are filled with a complicated yearning, Achilles realizing that Ines "was a stranger to him, which made him feel a stranger to himself, like he was scattering, becoming smoke, like he needed her to touch him all over to reconnect the parts."
Of the many journeys the book invites us on, the most poignant is the veteran's journey back into civilian life, attempting to unlearn behaviors that ensured survival and were rewarded with medals but are now suddenly deplorable. It is a multilayered, limping journey - one step forward, two steps back, marked by unexpected bouts of rage and fear - and the fact that it is impossible to explain, to those who haven't experienced it, "that if you stare too long a dead friend looks more and more like a stranger, while a dead stranger looks increasingly like a long-lost friend."
"Hold It 'Til It Hurts" is a novel that defies categorization. It is at once a mystery, a meditation, a modern-day myth, an indictment of war and an ode to love. But this much is clear: This masterfully written book, filled with trenchant observations and unafraid of tenderness, marks Johnson as a writer to watch.
Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/books/article/H...
January 9, 2014
Really, 2.5 stars, almost 3.
This is a hard read and it's hard to review. The story is gripping, particularly the central thread of the brothers, Achilles and Troy. The attendant threads: Afghanistan, military brotherhood, life in the shitty parts of the South both before and after Katrina... these are opaque and impenetrable. Johnson's prose is literary and heavy, like Toni Morrison on a heady dose of T. It muddies the action in some places, but it brings the emotional weight down hard in the center of your chest.
That central plot and the unopened blue envelope and the cultural weight of interracial adoption had a five-star novel in their mix. There was incredible potential here, and a flaming talent underneath it to bring it to a boil. That potential is lost in too many cities, too many incomprehensible courses of action, and too much masculine hype.
Achilles is male, we get it. He doesn't have to be mystified by genuine emotion and killing people/things and sporting a 9 foot erection every time we see him for that point to come through. The vicious hatred of women bleeds through this in an embarrassing display of war-movie bravado. Women are dumb and they feel too much, but at least they have soft, willing bodies you can objectify when the time is right, amirite? A lot of male novelists seem to think they have a unique story to tell about how much they hate and mistrust and misunderstand the thing they put their dicks in. How about a round of applause. Haven't heard that one since Hemingway. Or Forstchen. Or Mailer. Oh, wait.
I'm disappointed that there wasn't more courage here. There is a great story submerged somewhere inside this book. Wade through the flood waters, push aside the gratuitous corpses and flotillas of Penthouse, and catch it if you can.
This is a hard read and it's hard to review. The story is gripping, particularly the central thread of the brothers, Achilles and Troy. The attendant threads: Afghanistan, military brotherhood, life in the shitty parts of the South both before and after Katrina... these are opaque and impenetrable. Johnson's prose is literary and heavy, like Toni Morrison on a heady dose of T. It muddies the action in some places, but it brings the emotional weight down hard in the center of your chest.
That central plot and the unopened blue envelope and the cultural weight of interracial adoption had a five-star novel in their mix. There was incredible potential here, and a flaming talent underneath it to bring it to a boil. That potential is lost in too many cities, too many incomprehensible courses of action, and too much masculine hype.
Achilles is male, we get it. He doesn't have to be mystified by genuine emotion and killing people/things and sporting a 9 foot erection every time we see him for that point to come through. The vicious hatred of women bleeds through this in an embarrassing display of war-movie bravado. Women are dumb and they feel too much, but at least they have soft, willing bodies you can objectify when the time is right, amirite? A lot of male novelists seem to think they have a unique story to tell about how much they hate and mistrust and misunderstand the thing they put their dicks in. How about a round of applause. Haven't heard that one since Hemingway. Or Forstchen. Or Mailer. Oh, wait.
I'm disappointed that there wasn't more courage here. There is a great story submerged somewhere inside this book. Wade through the flood waters, push aside the gratuitous corpses and flotillas of Penthouse, and catch it if you can.
February 3, 2013
The synopis made me think I would love this book. But I didn't. Hated the writing but gave it 2 stars because I felt bad giving a first time author 1 star.
i-want-money
August 6, 2015I heard part of a radio interview with this writer, just recently, about his new book. His first book here though is Coffee House Press. Cred. At any rate, you can't but catch his name when it's associated with the provocative essay=title, "Trayvon Martin Must Die". He'd also seem to be of interest to all of you involved in South=issues; much in the news lately. Here's an interview ::
http://coffeehousepress.org/authors/t...
http://coffeehousepress.org/authors/t...
June 18, 2016
I read this book as part of the WSJ Book Club. I devoured it. Although the characters, particularly Achilles, are not always likeable, you find yourself enthralled with their experiences and worldviews. The flashbacks to war and childhood were handled really well throughout, and Achilles' struggles were palpable.
There is a ton of fodder for discussion in this novel, and I think it makes a great book club book.
There is a ton of fodder for discussion in this novel, and I think it makes a great book club book.
January 30, 2018
This book was rough. Brutal even. I hate read through this entire book and I still don't know what happened to Troy.
There is borderline sexual assault. There is animal killing. There is spousal abuse. And more. And it felt like poverty/anti-black/anti-woman porn. I have no idea why the romantic interest, Ines, even remotely entertained the protagonist. Made no sense.
I do not recommend this book at all.
There is borderline sexual assault. There is animal killing. There is spousal abuse. And more. And it felt like poverty/anti-black/anti-woman porn. I have no idea why the romantic interest, Ines, even remotely entertained the protagonist. Made no sense.
I do not recommend this book at all.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 13, 2014
I really tried to get into this book, but just couldn't. I found none of the characters to be all that sympathetic and the story line was nearly impossible for me to follow.
February 29, 2020
A truly deep and thought provoking novel. Race, War, and Family are all major themes.
June 1, 2017
An alternate title might be : Understanding PTSD and dealing with re-entry.
Beautiful writing.
pg 169 You hulk a little, hunched like you're under pressure, like there is something you've got to hold so tightly, hold it until it hurts you, like you've been kicked in the stomach, like you're carrying a secret and you think if you squeeze it tight enough, it will become a diamond.
pg 180 He refused to discuss Afghanistan with anyone else, especially the voyeurs. There were the morbidly inquisitive, people who thought they could comprehend, secondhand, how death trumps reason, as if they could under that how often the dead appear to be grinning, or that if you stare too long a dead friend looks more and more like a stranger, while a dead stranger look increasingly like a long-lost friend.
pg 274 So you won't come home? "That's not it. You're carrying stuff with you that you obviously don't want to tell me about, and I understand that. But you have to tell somebody. You have to face whatever is eating at you so you can be here." She put her hand on her chest. "Present in your own heart, in your own life. You can't be a community of one."
pg301: Another person helps you let go of what you hold. Some tribes believe that the warrior is haunted by his knowledge. We call it memory, but it's really knowledge. We know how motherfuckers really are. The things we know, the things we've seen, the things we carry are a burden but also a gift, our gift to everyone else. We carry the terror so they don't have to . It's about getting back on even footing.
pg 311 Morti Vivis Praecipant: Let the dead teach the living.
Beautiful writing.
pg 169 You hulk a little, hunched like you're under pressure, like there is something you've got to hold so tightly, hold it until it hurts you, like you've been kicked in the stomach, like you're carrying a secret and you think if you squeeze it tight enough, it will become a diamond.
pg 180 He refused to discuss Afghanistan with anyone else, especially the voyeurs. There were the morbidly inquisitive, people who thought they could comprehend, secondhand, how death trumps reason, as if they could under that how often the dead appear to be grinning, or that if you stare too long a dead friend looks more and more like a stranger, while a dead stranger look increasingly like a long-lost friend.
pg 274 So you won't come home? "That's not it. You're carrying stuff with you that you obviously don't want to tell me about, and I understand that. But you have to tell somebody. You have to face whatever is eating at you so you can be here." She put her hand on her chest. "Present in your own heart, in your own life. You can't be a community of one."
pg301: Another person helps you let go of what you hold. Some tribes believe that the warrior is haunted by his knowledge. We call it memory, but it's really knowledge. We know how motherfuckers really are. The things we know, the things we've seen, the things we carry are a burden but also a gift, our gift to everyone else. We carry the terror so they don't have to . It's about getting back on even footing.
pg 311 Morti Vivis Praecipant: Let the dead teach the living.
July 22, 2012
This first novel from T. Geronimo Johnson about a black Afghanistan veteran returning to the States got lost in the shuffle surrounding some of the other war books coming out this year but shouldn't have.
Johnson is from New Orleans (though currently teaches in Berkeley) and writes movingly about that city's agonies during Katrina, where the protagonist's brother has disappeared after the two of them finished their tour of duty in "Goddamistan,'' as they call it. The lead character is named Achilles and his brother's name is Troy, so mytho-poetic dimensions imbue this highly charged narrative.
Johnson's prose sings with the excitement, anger and hunger for experience of a young man trying to make sense of the world. I'm not the world's biggest fan of the "war novel'' genre, but this ranks up there with the modern equivalent of Mailer or James Jones (I suppose more like "Some Came Running'' than "From Here to Eternity,'' though.)
Families, romantic love, the bond of brothers, by blood or combat, and siters, the pain of war, all are lyrically documented here. Why did this book not receive wider attention, or recognition? Beats me. But do yourself a favor and read it - you won't be disappointed.
Johnson is from New Orleans (though currently teaches in Berkeley) and writes movingly about that city's agonies during Katrina, where the protagonist's brother has disappeared after the two of them finished their tour of duty in "Goddamistan,'' as they call it. The lead character is named Achilles and his brother's name is Troy, so mytho-poetic dimensions imbue this highly charged narrative.
Johnson's prose sings with the excitement, anger and hunger for experience of a young man trying to make sense of the world. I'm not the world's biggest fan of the "war novel'' genre, but this ranks up there with the modern equivalent of Mailer or James Jones (I suppose more like "Some Came Running'' than "From Here to Eternity,'' though.)
Families, romantic love, the bond of brothers, by blood or combat, and siters, the pain of war, all are lyrically documented here. Why did this book not receive wider attention, or recognition? Beats me. But do yourself a favor and read it - you won't be disappointed.
May 4, 2015
Identity is at the heart of this gripping novel set in Katrina era New Orleans.
Achilles Conroy, freshly returned from 2 tours in Afghanistan, is searching. Ostensibly his quest is to find his brother Troy, but the heart of this novel is his quest to find an identity for himself. He's black, but was adopted by white parents. Is he Achilles, greek warrior; or A-sheel, creole gumbo? Is he the son of his biological parents, about whom he refuses to learn, or of his adoptive white suburban parents, who he refuses to reveal to his Creole girlfriend, to whom black identity is essential? Is he a warrior, as he needs to be to search the back alleys and crack houses for his runaway brother, or a compassionate community volunteer, who he has to be to win the respect of Ines, who demands this of him in order to be with her?
Johnson plays some clever tricks with language to avoid some loaded words, and writes very skillfully about ptsd, addiction and the problems that vets have reintegrating into society, and ultimately creates a complex and nuanced story about growing up and becoming a man in America.
This was the type of voice I was looking for in my search for diversity in my reading.
Achilles Conroy, freshly returned from 2 tours in Afghanistan, is searching. Ostensibly his quest is to find his brother Troy, but the heart of this novel is his quest to find an identity for himself. He's black, but was adopted by white parents. Is he Achilles, greek warrior; or A-sheel, creole gumbo? Is he the son of his biological parents, about whom he refuses to learn, or of his adoptive white suburban parents, who he refuses to reveal to his Creole girlfriend, to whom black identity is essential? Is he a warrior, as he needs to be to search the back alleys and crack houses for his runaway brother, or a compassionate community volunteer, who he has to be to win the respect of Ines, who demands this of him in order to be with her?
Johnson plays some clever tricks with language to avoid some loaded words, and writes very skillfully about ptsd, addiction and the problems that vets have reintegrating into society, and ultimately creates a complex and nuanced story about growing up and becoming a man in America.
This was the type of voice I was looking for in my search for diversity in my reading.
May 12, 2013
This is one of the best books I've read in a long while. Definitely my favorite book that's been published in the past year. Geronimo does an amazing job moving from one moment to the next, giving the reader just enough information, and slipping in backstory seamlessly throughout the narrative. There are really slowed down moments that linger on physical movement and internal thought. The close 3rd person narration is incredibly comprehensive, zooming in and out at the right moments to give us the full scope of the story. This book addresses so many huge concepts: family, war, destruction, rebirth, love, brotherhood, friendship, discovery, self-doubt. An unbelievable read. Definitely putting it on my list of books to reread.
"It's easy to take what's wanted, not ask for what's needed."
"Achilles had hated the desert, the air so dry it grated, gnawed at you like an animal sniffing out blood. He said it was proof there was no Mother Nature, only motherfucking nature, and none of it gave a damn about man."
"Her clothes fit her like she'd been poured into them"
"It's easy to take what's wanted, not ask for what's needed."
"Achilles had hated the desert, the air so dry it grated, gnawed at you like an animal sniffing out blood. He said it was proof there was no Mother Nature, only motherfucking nature, and none of it gave a damn about man."
"Her clothes fit her like she'd been poured into them"
June 23, 2016
This remarkable and complex novel is difficult to summarize. Ostensibly, it is the story of Achilles’ search for his missing brother, Troy. However, the novel weaves together many disparate narrative strands, including the relationship between brothers, the experience of the returning war veteran, PTSD, the experience of combat and the brotherhood of the soldiers on the battlefield, urban crime and violence, the romance between Achilles and Ines, the New Orleans police and justice system, Hurricane Katrina, class differences, and race. That Johnson is able to create a coherent and compelling narrative out of all these differing themes is a testament to his skill as a writer. Johnson is a master both of dialogue and of description. The dialogue of the soldiers in Afghanistan seems authentic. It’s hard to believe that Johnson wasn’t there himself (I assume he was not.) Also, his descriptions of characters and scenes are detailed and convincing.
Johnson is a hell of a writer, and this is a really good book.
Johnson is a hell of a writer, and this is a really good book.
May 17, 2015
Brutal, infuriating, nostalgic,harrowing, overdone immersion in the explicit and insidious violence of U.S. culture:the wars at home & the war in Afghanistan. Not at all tied up with a bow, but incredible clarity of description, chilling depiction of the inner and outer experience of Achilles Conroy, a resentful, jealous, and angry hero who seems drawn to conflict and tragedy. There must be at least two other novels tho, with the perspectives Johnson chose to leave out here, of puzzling/intriguing characters whose actions/motivations may not be as this account suggests, because they just don't make emotional or logical sense.
November 7, 2012
Story of 2 adopted african-american brothers who return from a tour of duty in Afghanistan to their widowed white mother.
There is also a lot of discussion of New Orlean, both pre- and post-Katrina. This is largely a discourse on how messed up they are by the war, and also by their relationships. I appreciated how well everything was depicted, but the personal violence grated on me; I felt like I had to avert my eyes. I also had trouble following the langugage, and keeping the soldiers' personalities distinct.
There is also a lot of discussion of New Orlean, both pre- and post-Katrina. This is largely a discourse on how messed up they are by the war, and also by their relationships. I appreciated how well everything was depicted, but the personal violence grated on me; I felt like I had to avert my eyes. I also had trouble following the langugage, and keeping the soldiers' personalities distinct.
December 20, 2012
T. Geronimo Johnson's HiTiH is a beautiful book, full of rich language and the story of a man honestly confronting with life at the edge of apocalypse in the 21st Century -- namely the double destructions of Desert Storm and Katrina-ravaged New Orleans. His push to find himself and to find love is the heart of this book, a heart as big as the disasters Johnson tries to name. The language is rich and takes its time. You might need a while to get used to the book's pace and search, but once you have you'll be rewarded!
April 11, 2013
This is an emotionally-wrenching and fantastic novel. The main character, Achilles, is returned from Afghanistan where he served with his brother, Troy. I won't give anything away, but suffice it to say the novel touches on an amazing array of themes: the nature of family, brotherhood, racial identity, effects of war and natural disasters, and the complication of romantic relationships to name a few. Johnson explores all of this while rendering completely believable, deeply sympathetic characters. Highly recommended.
May 12, 2017
While I loved a few of the characters in this book, I was underwhelmed by it as a whole. And, there's so much grime in the story that I came away feeling slimed on way more than was necessary. I did hear this author speak in person, though, and he was fascinating. If he writes another book, I'll read it. But I don't want to read this one again.
December 17, 2017
This book is killing me. I'm trying not to quit but it is so tedious. I'm tempted to skip to the end.
I don't think I will be able to finish it.
I don't think I will be able to finish it.
August 29, 2019
I'd read "Welcome to Braggsville" by T. Geronimo Johnson and was mightily impressed. "Hold It 'Til it Hurts" is an earlier work and, like "Welcome to Braggsville", is unsparing in some scenes. "Welcome to Braggsville" offered some leavening lightness, which made the ultimate tragedy come as a shock (I highly recommend that book). "Hold It 'Til It Hurts" is a lot harder - it's really a brutal book to get through sometimes. The plot: Achilles Conroy and his brother Troy have returned from two tours in Afghanistan; Troy takes off and disappears - Achilles, who feels he is his brother's protector and keeper, embarks on a quest to find him. The search is not straightforward and months pass, in which Achilles finds himself, to his own disbelief, in a loving relationship with a remarkable woman, Ines, a woman active on the front lines of social justice. Achilles is troubled, yearning, and damaged; he is suffering from PTSD. For me, the PTSD was ultimately what I felt the novel was about. There were many places where I could see the writing brilliance that flowered in "Welcome to Braggsville", but I have mixed feelings about this book. If you can get through the weight and roughness of the pain, you may emerge with hope and an appreciation of dealing with emotional trauma, but it's a rough road.
June 15, 2018
So, raw, real, powerful, and deep. This book helped me see behind the lenses of people very different from me in every way. It was a painful long journey from beginning to end, but worth it. Not for the faint-hearted.
September 13, 2017
It was stark, gripping -- raw, it was so brutally honest. There were times I had to put it down, gasping. My heart feels like it was squeezed in a vise.
November 30, 2022
This was tough to get through. I animist gave up a few times. Following the multiple timelines was a chore and the over use of similes, even the same one more than once, became distracting.
February 21, 2021
Whooa !! This book covers soooo much ground. First and foremost this is a devastating look at the effects of post traumatic stress in regards to the mental health of people under extreme duress. Secondly, this story is a penetrating gaze into the maze of race, family, religion and just relations in general. This is the second book by this author that has blown me away / just stunning. This is writing of the highest quality!. Read this book. 5 stars.
September 16, 2016
Couldn't even finish it....
October 27, 2016
Although this novel is a bit unwieldy with heavy sentences that demand slower reading, its story registers heartfelt emotion. I was attracted to the characterizations of the Conroy brothers, Achilles and Troy, two African American boys who are adopted by white parents and who are also veterans of the war in Afghanistan. The dynamic nature of their struggles makes them original, and their bond proves to be unique. Having come home from the war, Achilles finds himself pulled into another mission: to find his brother, who takes off after his mother gives him an envelope with information about his birth parents. As Achilles (who also goes by “Keelies”) begins his search, he ultimately ends up on his own journey of self-discovery. Most of the novel works, but at times it felt as though it could benefit from a little more flow in the narration.
October 20, 2013
'Amazing' isn't really a word in my vocabulary but this book was exceptional on several levels. The language poetic - unsurprising to learn that T. Geronimo Johnson is a poet - and the story totally absorbing, both in Achilles search for his brother and his own self-examination in coming to terms with life after Afghanistan.
Although at times confusing, the changes of location and tense enhance the questing nature of the tale. New Orleans at the time of Katrina is vivid and a welcome counterpoint to that given in Dave Eggar's 'Zeitoun' read recently.
Alas this is Johnson's only novel. So far, I hope. As I hope to re-read this, having read it far more disjointedly than I usually do - bought and finished in New Orleans but read while travelling up the Delta.
Although at times confusing, the changes of location and tense enhance the questing nature of the tale. New Orleans at the time of Katrina is vivid and a welcome counterpoint to that given in Dave Eggar's 'Zeitoun' read recently.
Alas this is Johnson's only novel. So far, I hope. As I hope to re-read this, having read it far more disjointedly than I usually do - bought and finished in New Orleans but read while travelling up the Delta.
June 23, 2016
This book is good on so many levels. It is a book about war and its aftermath on those who experience combat. It is a book about love: the love of a mother for her children, the love of brothers, the love of brotherhood especially among those who serve in a military unit during wartime, it is about the love of a man for a woman. Like all truly good books, its characters are a mixed bag and none of them are perfect. Yet we come to love them, despite their imperfections. It is also a book about racism and acceptance. It is so multi-faceted it is impossible to pigeon hole. Do yourself a favor and give this book a try. I don't think you'll be disappointed.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 53 reviews