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The Spirituality of Imperfection: Storytelling and the Search for Meaning
I Am Not Perfect is a simple statement of profound truth, the first step toward understanding the human condition, for to deny your essential imperfection is to deny yourself and your own humanity. The spirituality of imperfection, steeped in the rich traditions of the Hebrew prophets and Greek thinkers, Buddhist sages and Christian disciples, is a message as timeless as it is timely. This insightful work draws on the wisdom stories of the ages to provide an extraordinary wellspring of hope and inspiration to anyone thirsting for spiritual growth and guidance in these troubled times.
Who are we? Why so we so often fall short of our goals for ourselves and others? By seeking to understand our limitations and accept the inevitably of failure and pain, we being to ease the hurt and move toward a greater sense of serenity and self-awareness. The Spirituality Of Imperfection brings together stories from many spiritual and philosophical paths, weaving past traditions into a spirituality and a new way of thinking and living that works today. It speaks so anyone who yearns to find meaning within suffering. Beyond theory and technique, inside this remarkable book you will find a new way of thinking, a way of living that enables a truly human existence.
Who are we? Why so we so often fall short of our goals for ourselves and others? By seeking to understand our limitations and accept the inevitably of failure and pain, we being to ease the hurt and move toward a greater sense of serenity and self-awareness. The Spirituality Of Imperfection brings together stories from many spiritual and philosophical paths, weaving past traditions into a spirituality and a new way of thinking and living that works today. It speaks so anyone who yearns to find meaning within suffering. Beyond theory and technique, inside this remarkable book you will find a new way of thinking, a way of living that enables a truly human existence.
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First published April 1, 1992
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October 21, 2017
Humble Roots:
I have lived in California for about 26 years, but I grew up in Michigan.
When I was. Kid, my dad had a catch phrase that pretty much summarized Michigander values.
Any time we would be working on a project together, and I would try to find a creative new way of solving a problem, my dad would say "nothin fancy".
This highly functional but highly invalidating little gotcha pretty much ensured that we would have the fence posts dug in and set before my dad had to report to his afternoon shift at General Motors.
But it also pretty much ensured that absolutely nothing innovative or artful would emerge from our "collaborations".
It also all but guaranteed that I would get the fuck out of Michigan at my absolutely first opportunity.
I moved to Northern California in the politically correct 1990's. And while I was SO relieved to be out of the stultifying culture of the Mid West. Something about the euphemistic, indirect "non-violent" (i.e. passive aggressive as fuck) way that people communicated in No Cal always felt like someone sticking a screwdriver in to my ear and pretending like they were pinning a flower to my lapel.
When I moved to Los Angeles and began to work in the film and television industry, it was like living in Anti-Michigan.
Nothing was fancy enough. It's as if every "fabulous" person in America was in the room and chanting "make it fancier, make it fancier".
I LOVE Los Angeles. But once in a while I have to bring it back down to earth and "make it Michigan" i.e. I have to translate all the fancy pants fluffy stuff into nuthin' fancy blunt objects.
For instance:
I like live in a charming historic neighborhood on the trendy east side of Los Angeles. In other words I live in the ghetto in East L.A.
That's what I call making it Michigan.
I want my property value to go up as much as anybody, but once in a while, I just have to call it what it is.
Anyway, our house is on a hill overlooking the historic Arroyo Saco river (California Style)
For those of you who have never had the privilege of visiting the Arroyo Saco, it's pretty much a paved drainage canal (makin' It Michigan)
My wife (a fellow Michigander) and I refer to the Arroyo Saco as "The Sewer".
Wife: where are you walking the dogs today honey?
Me: I'm going to take them to The Sewer.
Wife: Okay I'll have the bath ready when you come back.
We have to wash the dogs immediately after we walk them on the banks of the historic Arroyo Saco (sewer), in order to ensure that we don't catch typhus or God knows what else.
To reiterate, I want my property value to go up, so in public we refer to the Arroyo Saco as a charming cycling and jogging Vista that connects lovely old town Pasadena to burgeoning, bustling, up and coming downtown Los Angeles.
That's called serving in up California Style.
But in the privacy of my own home, we just call it The Sewer.
That's called making it Michigan.
Goddamn sometimes it feels so good to just make it Michigan.
I can hear my dad's grumpy voice draining my energy like a 98% humidity Michigan summer afternoon. "Nothin Fancy".
It's just so oppressive, yet so grounding.
Alcoholics Anonymous:
One of the reasons I love AA is they know how to keep is simple. The answer to everything is (a) don't drink (b) stay teachable (c) go to meetings.
I love Psychotherapy. But psychotherapy can get kind of fancy. AA makes it Michigan.
Anyway, there's lots of "charming", "historic" old houses in my neighborhood.
Many of these "historic" homes have "charming", rustic river rock (pulled from the Arroyo Saco before it was a sewer) architectural details like fireplaces, mantles and chimneys.
A river rock fireplace is a neat little metaphor for AA.
All of the rocks are like the individual members. Kind of odd shaped and rather useless on their own.
But if these oddball individual rocks are assembled into a structure, like a fireplace with a chimney, than they can be really charming and useful.
AA meetings are places where oddballs and misfits can assemble and become useful, and on rare occasion, even charming in a rustic and imperfect sort of way.
The thing that holds the individual rocks together is mortar. The AA traditions are like the mortar that binds these oddball individuals together into a useful form.
The useful thing about a river rock fire place is the warmth that it creates when there's a fire in it. The fire of AA is the sense of fellowship and connection to something bigger than yourself. It invites you in and warms you up. It keeps you coming back.
Of course you can't have a fire without logs. AA is a story telling tradition. The logs in the fire are the stories of courage, strength and hope that we offer.
A river rock fire place is far from perfect. But it's perfectly imperfect in a way. AA is also perfectly imperfect. It's imperfections are part of its charm and functionality.
AA is all about progress not perfection.
The Spirituality of Imperfection (you know, the book I'm supposed to be reviewing) is an interesting compendium of little spiritual stories on different themes from various spiritual traditions, mostly the Cappadocian Desert Fathers and the Jewish traditions.
The various stories are interwoven into the origin story of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), from its Oxford Group beginnings to its evolution into its modern form.
I have participated in several 12-Step programs. I am currently a psychotherapist working in addiction recovery in Los Angeles. I have long contended that the most interesting, most ethically mature, most spiritually advanced people I have met (particularly in Los Angeles) have gone through the process of recovery from addiction.
My catch phrase for the phenomena is:
You can't be truly free unless you've emancipated yourself from slavery.
People who were born normal (God bless them), tend to be enslaved by habits of another kind.
Their habits may not lead them to a hard bottom. They may even lead them to a real nice life. But they tend to be about as free and insightful as a wind up toy.
That's just this man's opinion, but I'm sticking to it. At this point I just have too much anecdotal evidence to support it.
AA was created by enslaved individuals coming together as groups to emancipate one another.
Their folky little slogans and traditions, handed down from one anonymous keeper to the next, contain real healing wisdom.
Although I have MASSIVE reservations about AA. It is after all, far from perfect. I still recognize the value of the warmth, wisdom and spirituality that emerges from those groups of oddball misfits.
This book is a cool little reminder of how deep and wonderful the 12-Step tradition can be.
I have lived in California for about 26 years, but I grew up in Michigan.
When I was. Kid, my dad had a catch phrase that pretty much summarized Michigander values.
Any time we would be working on a project together, and I would try to find a creative new way of solving a problem, my dad would say "nothin fancy".
This highly functional but highly invalidating little gotcha pretty much ensured that we would have the fence posts dug in and set before my dad had to report to his afternoon shift at General Motors.
But it also pretty much ensured that absolutely nothing innovative or artful would emerge from our "collaborations".
It also all but guaranteed that I would get the fuck out of Michigan at my absolutely first opportunity.
I moved to Northern California in the politically correct 1990's. And while I was SO relieved to be out of the stultifying culture of the Mid West. Something about the euphemistic, indirect "non-violent" (i.e. passive aggressive as fuck) way that people communicated in No Cal always felt like someone sticking a screwdriver in to my ear and pretending like they were pinning a flower to my lapel.
When I moved to Los Angeles and began to work in the film and television industry, it was like living in Anti-Michigan.
Nothing was fancy enough. It's as if every "fabulous" person in America was in the room and chanting "make it fancier, make it fancier".
I LOVE Los Angeles. But once in a while I have to bring it back down to earth and "make it Michigan" i.e. I have to translate all the fancy pants fluffy stuff into nuthin' fancy blunt objects.
For instance:
I like live in a charming historic neighborhood on the trendy east side of Los Angeles. In other words I live in the ghetto in East L.A.
That's what I call making it Michigan.
I want my property value to go up as much as anybody, but once in a while, I just have to call it what it is.
Anyway, our house is on a hill overlooking the historic Arroyo Saco river (California Style)
For those of you who have never had the privilege of visiting the Arroyo Saco, it's pretty much a paved drainage canal (makin' It Michigan)
My wife (a fellow Michigander) and I refer to the Arroyo Saco as "The Sewer".
Wife: where are you walking the dogs today honey?
Me: I'm going to take them to The Sewer.
Wife: Okay I'll have the bath ready when you come back.
We have to wash the dogs immediately after we walk them on the banks of the historic Arroyo Saco (sewer), in order to ensure that we don't catch typhus or God knows what else.
To reiterate, I want my property value to go up, so in public we refer to the Arroyo Saco as a charming cycling and jogging Vista that connects lovely old town Pasadena to burgeoning, bustling, up and coming downtown Los Angeles.
That's called serving in up California Style.
But in the privacy of my own home, we just call it The Sewer.
That's called making it Michigan.
Goddamn sometimes it feels so good to just make it Michigan.
I can hear my dad's grumpy voice draining my energy like a 98% humidity Michigan summer afternoon. "Nothin Fancy".
It's just so oppressive, yet so grounding.
Alcoholics Anonymous:
One of the reasons I love AA is they know how to keep is simple. The answer to everything is (a) don't drink (b) stay teachable (c) go to meetings.
I love Psychotherapy. But psychotherapy can get kind of fancy. AA makes it Michigan.
Anyway, there's lots of "charming", "historic" old houses in my neighborhood.
Many of these "historic" homes have "charming", rustic river rock (pulled from the Arroyo Saco before it was a sewer) architectural details like fireplaces, mantles and chimneys.
A river rock fireplace is a neat little metaphor for AA.
All of the rocks are like the individual members. Kind of odd shaped and rather useless on their own.
But if these oddball individual rocks are assembled into a structure, like a fireplace with a chimney, than they can be really charming and useful.
AA meetings are places where oddballs and misfits can assemble and become useful, and on rare occasion, even charming in a rustic and imperfect sort of way.
The thing that holds the individual rocks together is mortar. The AA traditions are like the mortar that binds these oddball individuals together into a useful form.
The useful thing about a river rock fire place is the warmth that it creates when there's a fire in it. The fire of AA is the sense of fellowship and connection to something bigger than yourself. It invites you in and warms you up. It keeps you coming back.
Of course you can't have a fire without logs. AA is a story telling tradition. The logs in the fire are the stories of courage, strength and hope that we offer.
A river rock fire place is far from perfect. But it's perfectly imperfect in a way. AA is also perfectly imperfect. It's imperfections are part of its charm and functionality.
AA is all about progress not perfection.
The Spirituality of Imperfection (you know, the book I'm supposed to be reviewing) is an interesting compendium of little spiritual stories on different themes from various spiritual traditions, mostly the Cappadocian Desert Fathers and the Jewish traditions.
The various stories are interwoven into the origin story of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), from its Oxford Group beginnings to its evolution into its modern form.
I have participated in several 12-Step programs. I am currently a psychotherapist working in addiction recovery in Los Angeles. I have long contended that the most interesting, most ethically mature, most spiritually advanced people I have met (particularly in Los Angeles) have gone through the process of recovery from addiction.
My catch phrase for the phenomena is:
You can't be truly free unless you've emancipated yourself from slavery.
People who were born normal (God bless them), tend to be enslaved by habits of another kind.
Their habits may not lead them to a hard bottom. They may even lead them to a real nice life. But they tend to be about as free and insightful as a wind up toy.
That's just this man's opinion, but I'm sticking to it. At this point I just have too much anecdotal evidence to support it.
AA was created by enslaved individuals coming together as groups to emancipate one another.
Their folky little slogans and traditions, handed down from one anonymous keeper to the next, contain real healing wisdom.
Although I have MASSIVE reservations about AA. It is after all, far from perfect. I still recognize the value of the warmth, wisdom and spirituality that emerges from those groups of oddball misfits.
This book is a cool little reminder of how deep and wonderful the 12-Step tradition can be.
November 4, 2012
The title says it all, and this book just says it over and over again: that real spritituality requires an acceptance and embracing of our humanity and lack of perfection. Decent parables and stories to support this idea, but too much redundancy and too heavy on the AA message.
June 27, 2008
Easily read, this book introduces us to the concept that to grow in spiritual realm means to accept imperfection --- no to celebrate it! Using stories and quotes from some of the worlds greatest thinkers and mystics the authors share this concept encouraging each person to take steps to become their own.
The messaage is don't wait for someone to tell you who you are--begin this path and unfold the letter God wrote to you upon your birth!
The messaage is don't wait for someone to tell you who you are--begin this path and unfold the letter God wrote to you upon your birth!
October 28, 2008
It's difficult to describe the impact this book has had on my life, but for anyone struggling with developing a sense of spirituality that isn't dependent upon organized religion, this book is key.
May 27, 2009
Two words... life changing. Seven years ago I was on my knees after hitting rock bottom and as I clawed my way to get back on my feet again it was this book that kept me going. I still have my copy and its the one book that I go back and read over and over again. This book is very special to me.
February 5, 2019
I've been reading this book very slowly, as part of my morning readings in which I have several books going at once and I read one on one day, the other on the next day and so on. I have loved it. The reason I even have this book is pretty deep too- A couple years ago a friend died. I helped clean out her apartment with another like-minded friend. She had many books about recovery. We sent some to different local places, and some we kept. This one spoke to me. I was so saddened by her passing, and saw the clear attempts she made through reading to find comfort in her suffering.
I found comfort. This book pulls from several religious and spiritual traditions, particularly Rabbis from a long time ago who struggled with many of the same things we do today. The practice of telling our stories is a theme of healing throughout the book. "...only when we learn to put up with ourselves can we arrive at a place of interior peace." He talks about how we split ourselves in two- good vs. bad, but how a balance and acceptance is the key. And that spirituality is experiencing--- not just feeling or willing.
Much of the book is a look at AA. How it is set up to heal too. The final chapters are Release, Gratitude, Humility, Tolerance and Forgiveness. His explanation of victim hood leading to resentments was amazing. When I return to this book in the future it will be to these chapters.
I found comfort. This book pulls from several religious and spiritual traditions, particularly Rabbis from a long time ago who struggled with many of the same things we do today. The practice of telling our stories is a theme of healing throughout the book. "...only when we learn to put up with ourselves can we arrive at a place of interior peace." He talks about how we split ourselves in two- good vs. bad, but how a balance and acceptance is the key. And that spirituality is experiencing--- not just feeling or willing.
Much of the book is a look at AA. How it is set up to heal too. The final chapters are Release, Gratitude, Humility, Tolerance and Forgiveness. His explanation of victim hood leading to resentments was amazing. When I return to this book in the future it will be to these chapters.
August 12, 2018
Quite possibly the best book I’ve ever read...not sure if it beats out Richard Rohr’s “Breathing Under Water” but that’s the only book that even gives it a run for its money.
I normally plow through books like this, so awed by what I’m reading that I just can’t stop until I reach the end. Not so with this book. With this book I was so awed by what I was reading that I often had to take several days between chapters to let stuff sink in.
This was one of the most encouraging, inspiring, and challenging books I’ve ever read. It’s prompted scores of journal pages from me, often where I’m taking a single passage in the book and I end up with 2-3pgs where I’m working out what it points to/means/etc in my own life.
I’m so excited about this book. It was truly a life-giving experience to read it. I haven’t had time to fully expand on everything that hit me, so I’m excited to go back through my underlines/margin notes and journal all of that...reading it was so moving and the bit of journaling I’ve already done has been helpful...I can’t even begin to imagine how transformative REALLY digging into it even more is going to be. I imagine it will take a couple of weeks to really give it the time it deserves. That’s just insane to me. I’ve never had an experience like that with a book. I often underline/take notes, and I’m trying to get into the habit of journaling all of that instead of letting it end just “in” the book, but I’ve never read a book that feels like it’s own workbook in a way. Like...the content is so rich and so dense that the whole thing feels like a writing prompt, in a way.
I don’t know- I can totally see how this book wouldn’t elicit this same response from most people, but man...if you’re in that place in your life where you NEED a book like this, it’s absolutely INCREDIBLE! Some passages had me in tears (full blown tears!) and with others I could actually feel my heart rate increase, because it was so dead on/inspiring. I just can’t emphasize enough how much of an actual *experience* this book has been!
So happy I stumbled upon this book when I did!
I normally plow through books like this, so awed by what I’m reading that I just can’t stop until I reach the end. Not so with this book. With this book I was so awed by what I was reading that I often had to take several days between chapters to let stuff sink in.
This was one of the most encouraging, inspiring, and challenging books I’ve ever read. It’s prompted scores of journal pages from me, often where I’m taking a single passage in the book and I end up with 2-3pgs where I’m working out what it points to/means/etc in my own life.
I’m so excited about this book. It was truly a life-giving experience to read it. I haven’t had time to fully expand on everything that hit me, so I’m excited to go back through my underlines/margin notes and journal all of that...reading it was so moving and the bit of journaling I’ve already done has been helpful...I can’t even begin to imagine how transformative REALLY digging into it even more is going to be. I imagine it will take a couple of weeks to really give it the time it deserves. That’s just insane to me. I’ve never had an experience like that with a book. I often underline/take notes, and I’m trying to get into the habit of journaling all of that instead of letting it end just “in” the book, but I’ve never read a book that feels like it’s own workbook in a way. Like...the content is so rich and so dense that the whole thing feels like a writing prompt, in a way.
I don’t know- I can totally see how this book wouldn’t elicit this same response from most people, but man...if you’re in that place in your life where you NEED a book like this, it’s absolutely INCREDIBLE! Some passages had me in tears (full blown tears!) and with others I could actually feel my heart rate increase, because it was so dead on/inspiring. I just can’t emphasize enough how much of an actual *experience* this book has been!
So happy I stumbled upon this book when I did!
September 11, 2011
This one was sent in a care package at just the right moment, when someone else had just told me my job was to learn how to fail, and to do it well. I almost laughed at the irony, picking this out of its box, but really, this book isn't telling me to learn how to fail. It's saying I already do fail, and to accept failure and success as part of life. Accept that the safer place on a see-saw is not at an extreme, trying to be perfect or beating oneself up for being a failure, it's sitting in the middle, on the pivot point, and recognizing that life is failure and success, but mostly a lot of muddle in between.
Drawing many of its remarks and advice from Alcoholics Anonymous values, this book was a blessing and a burden on my soul. I found myself highlighting parts about pilgrimage and how, if we are being true to ourselves, each one of us is asking "Where do I belong?" in this world. Either we are moving to another place that we hope will be a better fit, or we are shaping the place around us into a space and a people that are home-like. The places we call "home" at different parts of our lives are those places where we have significant others who listen to our life story and offer theirs in return, who heal and harm us, as all relationships do, but do so out of a commitment to love and support, out of a joint mission. Those are both troubling and inspiring words as I look upon my life at this point. What a reminder that really, stories are at the center of our lives, and so my yearning to be more involved in the writing of stories is okay, is valued. In fact, it might be one of the most challenging, but most important things I can do with my life. Or perhaps it is part of the muddled middle. Whatever the case, I need to keep listening, and I certainly need to keep storytelling.
Drawing many of its remarks and advice from Alcoholics Anonymous values, this book was a blessing and a burden on my soul. I found myself highlighting parts about pilgrimage and how, if we are being true to ourselves, each one of us is asking "Where do I belong?" in this world. Either we are moving to another place that we hope will be a better fit, or we are shaping the place around us into a space and a people that are home-like. The places we call "home" at different parts of our lives are those places where we have significant others who listen to our life story and offer theirs in return, who heal and harm us, as all relationships do, but do so out of a commitment to love and support, out of a joint mission. Those are both troubling and inspiring words as I look upon my life at this point. What a reminder that really, stories are at the center of our lives, and so my yearning to be more involved in the writing of stories is okay, is valued. In fact, it might be one of the most challenging, but most important things I can do with my life. Or perhaps it is part of the muddled middle. Whatever the case, I need to keep listening, and I certainly need to keep storytelling.
November 21, 2014
It feels so repetitive... I feel like the author is saying, "Here's my idea... You know my idea that I mentioned, here it is again. I love my idea... Don't forget my idea! Here is a recap of my idea... You know my idea? Well, I've written it on this bat so I can hit you over the head with it."
March 21, 2020
Ugh. I couldn't read it.
January 13, 2022
Finally finished it. I kept going back to it. Good to be reminded how important everyone's story is, and we are all on a journey. Our healing occurs when we share ourselves, also identify with others stories.
April 17, 2020
This book just freaking changed my life. Now five years sober, I have long since cleaned up my surface destruction and defects and am now struggling with deeper core issues that are becoming intolerable if I want to continue living sober. Specifically, I struggle with accepting my imperfections and separating myself from others by judging them or comparing myself to them as either better or worse. This book perfectly articulated how to overcome these misperceptions to me.
Although I recommend this book to anyone in a 12 step program, it is not just for people in recovery. It does discuss a lot of A.A.'s philosophies and practices but it includes many other cultures' perspectives on spirituality, including Christianity, Judaism, Sufi, Muslim, Buddhism, etc.
Since finishing it, I have been recommending it to everyone I know, whether in recovery or not. As I said to a girlfriend not familiar with 12 step programs and the way they approach spirituality - think of [this book] as a way to be at peace, to relieve anxiety and to work towards being your best self.
It also provides keen insight into how 12 step programs operate and the processes recovering addicts/alcoholics adopt in order to get and stay sober. So if you have a friend or family member in recovery and you would like to know a little more about their lifestyle, beliefs and perspectives in sobriety, this is a good book to read.
Although I recommend this book to anyone in a 12 step program, it is not just for people in recovery. It does discuss a lot of A.A.'s philosophies and practices but it includes many other cultures' perspectives on spirituality, including Christianity, Judaism, Sufi, Muslim, Buddhism, etc.
Since finishing it, I have been recommending it to everyone I know, whether in recovery or not. As I said to a girlfriend not familiar with 12 step programs and the way they approach spirituality - think of [this book] as a way to be at peace, to relieve anxiety and to work towards being your best self.
It also provides keen insight into how 12 step programs operate and the processes recovering addicts/alcoholics adopt in order to get and stay sober. So if you have a friend or family member in recovery and you would like to know a little more about their lifestyle, beliefs and perspectives in sobriety, this is a good book to read.
February 8, 2011
This was a pretty good read, but I just felt like a lot of it was kind of obvious. Also the stories got a bit tiresome. "Storytelling" to me feel like it should be a bit more than what they deem it. At times it felt like "Chicken Soup for the Soul" but meatier. Maybe a "Shepherds Pie for the Soul"
January 9, 2025
This was a recommendation from a friend. I didn't realise that it has such a foundation in the AA philosophy of spirituality.
Despite the frequent references to the AA program and literature, there are still a lot of great tidbits of knowledge dispersed in this book.
The author explains how the search for help that shows up in the AA program and in the AA literature is a fabulous mix of different religious views as well as psychology insights. It's hand picked to help people who are struggling with addiction.
The wild thing is that this form of spirituality is designed to let you create your own version of God, or your own idea of what a higher power is, or what the magic is in this world.
The book focused on the spirituality you find because your life is falling apart, not the religion you're born into or the spiritual flavour of the week that is now so cool. This is the spirituality for the person who is struggling.
It's "I am lost and need help now" spirituality that will show up if you're lucky enough to make it out of your dark night of the soul. That spirituality doesn't come with a dogma, it's pieced together and created by the person who is seeking help. Maybe it's more effective and life-changing because it's created and designed by the person who struggles. It's always easier to accept something if you feel like you discovered it or created it yourself.
This is spirituality that allows you to acknowledge you're flawed, and it doesn't end in a heaven or with a halo. It's work and growth but no sainthood.
There's a ton of really good practical stories in the book. Suggestions on how to stop holding on so tight while trying to make the world obey you. Every story is a gentle nudge to think less of your own selfish interests and spend more time actually living.
I enjoyed the book because it was practical and interesting. I'd recommend it to others, but I think it would really hit home or be particularly interesting to people who participate in AA.
Despite the frequent references to the AA program and literature, there are still a lot of great tidbits of knowledge dispersed in this book.
The author explains how the search for help that shows up in the AA program and in the AA literature is a fabulous mix of different religious views as well as psychology insights. It's hand picked to help people who are struggling with addiction.
The wild thing is that this form of spirituality is designed to let you create your own version of God, or your own idea of what a higher power is, or what the magic is in this world.
The book focused on the spirituality you find because your life is falling apart, not the religion you're born into or the spiritual flavour of the week that is now so cool. This is the spirituality for the person who is struggling.
It's "I am lost and need help now" spirituality that will show up if you're lucky enough to make it out of your dark night of the soul. That spirituality doesn't come with a dogma, it's pieced together and created by the person who is seeking help. Maybe it's more effective and life-changing because it's created and designed by the person who struggles. It's always easier to accept something if you feel like you discovered it or created it yourself.
This is spirituality that allows you to acknowledge you're flawed, and it doesn't end in a heaven or with a halo. It's work and growth but no sainthood.
There's a ton of really good practical stories in the book. Suggestions on how to stop holding on so tight while trying to make the world obey you. Every story is a gentle nudge to think less of your own selfish interests and spend more time actually living.
I enjoyed the book because it was practical and interesting. I'd recommend it to others, but I think it would really hit home or be particularly interesting to people who participate in AA.
July 25, 2022
There's a crack, a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
The index for this powerful book is 8 pages, preceded by 40 pages of footnotes. I mention this only to underscore the range of sources for the discovery of wisdom through anecdotes, anecdotes or parables from sources religious as well as cultural, all of them practical.
Mostly, the stories are about building community through narratives. For instance, there's the story of the juggler in Central Park, who tells the business man who goes to drop a twenty in his hat to instead buy a bag of apples for the spectators. He does, and so the spectators tell the story to any newcomers about the business man who bought them apples. "Community," explains the authors, "requires more than the sharing of stories --- true community requires the discovery of a story that is shared."
This is the core of any 12-step program. For the wisdom imbued through these yarns involves a new way of seeing and, subsequently, a new way of acting/living.
As Ram Dass once made clear, We are all just walking each other home.
The authors of The Spirituality of Imperfection: Storytelling and the Search for Meaning would add one story at a time.
The index for this powerful book is 8 pages, preceded by 40 pages of footnotes. I mention this only to underscore the range of sources for the discovery of wisdom through anecdotes, anecdotes or parables from sources religious as well as cultural, all of them practical.
Mostly, the stories are about building community through narratives. For instance, there's the story of the juggler in Central Park, who tells the business man who goes to drop a twenty in his hat to instead buy a bag of apples for the spectators. He does, and so the spectators tell the story to any newcomers about the business man who bought them apples. "Community," explains the authors, "requires more than the sharing of stories --- true community requires the discovery of a story that is shared."
This is the core of any 12-step program. For the wisdom imbued through these yarns involves a new way of seeing and, subsequently, a new way of acting/living.
As Ram Dass once made clear, We are all just walking each other home.
The authors of The Spirituality of Imperfection: Storytelling and the Search for Meaning would add one story at a time.
November 19, 2019
Amazing! Savor each chapter!
April 16, 2021
A go-to book.
February 15, 2024
Tickled my brain and sparked new questions about spirituality. I’ve been talking about it since I started the first few pages.
February 5, 2018
It was just what I needed at the time I read it.
June 4, 2015
The Spirituality of Imperfection is a wonderfully elucidating guide to applying spiritual principals in life. This beautiful book is a wise alternative to the deluge of metaphysical nincoompary that is as uninteresting as it is unhelpful to those of us who really are trying to find meaning in this often challenging world and still hope to become better people in the process.
Authors Kurtz and Ketcham draw on the ages old tradition of storytelling as it is handed down to us from the sages and saints of Judaism, Christianity – Roman and Orthodox – and Buddhism. They center us in our lives as flawed beings walking a path of imperfection. This path, they say, can best be expressed as I’m not okay and you’re not okay…yet, that is okay. We are never going to be perfect, but we can make progress in that herky-jerky dance of two steps forward and one step back.
In other words, progress not perfection, as those of us in recovery circles like to say. We should expect setbacks, if not welcome them, because it is often in these moments that enlightenment comes giving us access to those hard to grasp graces of humility, forgiveness and love.
For those of you groaning at the obvious clichéd phrases in this review you can be assured that The Spirituality of Imperfection is fresh and immediately useable. This book is a truly exceptional volume in a market burdened by many titles that should never have been published. It’s scholarly, yet simple and deeply spiritual.
Kurtz and Ketcham divide the book into 3 parts. Part 1 provides the roots of the tradition. The second part discusses the discoveries of Alcoholic’s Anonymous as they struggled over the years to apply spiritual principals to the problem of addiction. The author’s make good use of founder Bill W’s personal correspondence, which I’ve always found to be deeper and richer in wisdom and poignancy than anything else he wrote.
The final section takes us deeper into the spiritual principals such as tolerance, forgiveness and humility. For anyone who has been on the receiving end of a platitudinous bit of spiritual advice about needing to “let go” or “forgive” and such this guide will be a welcome discussion on the subject. It is a rare book in this category that I keep close to my heart. This is one of those books. This is one of the most emotionally satisfying reading experiences I have had in a long time.
Authors Kurtz and Ketcham draw on the ages old tradition of storytelling as it is handed down to us from the sages and saints of Judaism, Christianity – Roman and Orthodox – and Buddhism. They center us in our lives as flawed beings walking a path of imperfection. This path, they say, can best be expressed as I’m not okay and you’re not okay…yet, that is okay. We are never going to be perfect, but we can make progress in that herky-jerky dance of two steps forward and one step back.
In other words, progress not perfection, as those of us in recovery circles like to say. We should expect setbacks, if not welcome them, because it is often in these moments that enlightenment comes giving us access to those hard to grasp graces of humility, forgiveness and love.
For those of you groaning at the obvious clichéd phrases in this review you can be assured that The Spirituality of Imperfection is fresh and immediately useable. This book is a truly exceptional volume in a market burdened by many titles that should never have been published. It’s scholarly, yet simple and deeply spiritual.
Kurtz and Ketcham divide the book into 3 parts. Part 1 provides the roots of the tradition. The second part discusses the discoveries of Alcoholic’s Anonymous as they struggled over the years to apply spiritual principals to the problem of addiction. The author’s make good use of founder Bill W’s personal correspondence, which I’ve always found to be deeper and richer in wisdom and poignancy than anything else he wrote.
The final section takes us deeper into the spiritual principals such as tolerance, forgiveness and humility. For anyone who has been on the receiving end of a platitudinous bit of spiritual advice about needing to “let go” or “forgive” and such this guide will be a welcome discussion on the subject. It is a rare book in this category that I keep close to my heart. This is one of those books. This is one of the most emotionally satisfying reading experiences I have had in a long time.
December 5, 2015
My main beef with this book is that it reads like a very fat pamphlet for AA. I love 12-step spirituality, but not knowing that it was going to dominate the book (I mean, it's not even mentioned in the title) made me constantly feel lied to. And there were times where, even if I had known there was going to be a lot about addiction and 12-step programs, I STILL would have felt like they were being overly boosterish about it. I mean, there are lots and lots of people for whom 12-step programs do not work, and AA has a very high recidivism rate, so constantly saying "Twelve-step programs work because . . ." seems like willful disregard of the truth.
The stories I liked, as well as their range of origin: Jewish, mostly Hasidic, tales; sayings and stories of the Desert Fathers; Buddhist tales; Muslim stories. But often the stories and vignettes were insufficiently explicated; a story would be told, and often lines or phrases of the story were repeated in the following paragraph, as if that explained anything. And a few stories were so misplaced I wondered why they appeared in that context at all.
A great idea, not too well executed, very badly packaged.
The stories I liked, as well as their range of origin: Jewish, mostly Hasidic, tales; sayings and stories of the Desert Fathers; Buddhist tales; Muslim stories. But often the stories and vignettes were insufficiently explicated; a story would be told, and often lines or phrases of the story were repeated in the following paragraph, as if that explained anything. And a few stories were so misplaced I wondered why they appeared in that context at all.
A great idea, not too well executed, very badly packaged.
May 21, 2020
Some good, some less good for this one.
The good: The authors' idea that through storytelling (and every story is based around some imperfection or there is no story), we heal ourselves and find meaning is a good one. I appreciated their use of stories from several different faith traditions and none at all. Lots of quotable tidbits. I'd recommend it potentially as a book study book for an AA or other 12-Step program book club.
The bad: Very redundant, and the authors might have said all that they had to say in about 1/3 of the space. Also, you might not get it at all from the description or the title, but this is indeed a (non-official) 12-Step literature book. Useful for what it is, but no great scholarship and no coherent flow.
I read this while under COVID-19 quarantine and found it a useful piece to have read during this time. Nothing is particularly perfect right now, and I found some beautiful bits of wisdom included herein. Different than most program lit, and worth the read, for a selected audience.
The good: The authors' idea that through storytelling (and every story is based around some imperfection or there is no story), we heal ourselves and find meaning is a good one. I appreciated their use of stories from several different faith traditions and none at all. Lots of quotable tidbits. I'd recommend it potentially as a book study book for an AA or other 12-Step program book club.
The bad: Very redundant, and the authors might have said all that they had to say in about 1/3 of the space. Also, you might not get it at all from the description or the title, but this is indeed a (non-official) 12-Step literature book. Useful for what it is, but no great scholarship and no coherent flow.
I read this while under COVID-19 quarantine and found it a useful piece to have read during this time. Nothing is particularly perfect right now, and I found some beautiful bits of wisdom included herein. Different than most program lit, and worth the read, for a selected audience.
January 4, 2019
The author of this book is a Harvard professor, who shares his understanding of how the program of Alcoholic Anonymous relates to spirituality, or should I say, how we can embrace a new understanding of spirituality with all our imperfections.
He shares with us how Bill Wilson, the founder of Alcoholic Anonymous got connected with the Oxford group, which is a Christian religious group, that inspired a spiritual awakening for Bill Wilson. From there, Mr. Wilson along with a few friends modified some of the Oxford group’s philosophy and made it more plausible to be accepted by a larger audience that didn’t have a desire to join a religious group.
For those who have interest in the history of Alcoholic Anonymous and how they successfully embraced a spiritual way of life that has changed the lives of millions, this could be an interesting book.
He shares with us how Bill Wilson, the founder of Alcoholic Anonymous got connected with the Oxford group, which is a Christian religious group, that inspired a spiritual awakening for Bill Wilson. From there, Mr. Wilson along with a few friends modified some of the Oxford group’s philosophy and made it more plausible to be accepted by a larger audience that didn’t have a desire to join a religious group.
For those who have interest in the history of Alcoholic Anonymous and how they successfully embraced a spiritual way of life that has changed the lives of millions, this could be an interesting book.
July 19, 2013
This is a well-written book, full of stories and wisdom. I appreciated it in spite of myself, since I am a Christian. I can agree with almost all the postmodern philosophy of AA and even with most of the "spirituality" presented here. But the alternative religion of AA and the claim to that the spirituality of imperfection is the overarching umbrella of spiritual reality that all religions are ultimately revealing is a bit much for me. In the name of not being grandiose, it is grandiose; and in the name of receiving it does not receive -- not Jesus that is. Nevertheless, I would recommend it for those who can sort of the philosophy. If you read it and just got converted, that would be a shame.
November 6, 2021
I was left with a constant feeling of, "therefore what?" The book does not have a narrative thread or any real structure. This is more what I would expect to find in my file of ideas and stories I would draw upon to write a book or article. Not the actual book itself.
There was a lot of the book that dealt with Alcoholics Anonymous, but not a section about AA, just AA stories randomly interspersed with other stories.
From the stories in the book you could separate out the AA information for a book about the creation and why AA has seen the success it has and perhaps another book with what is left to create a chicken soup for the imperfect soul type book. As it stands it is just a jumbled mess.
There was a lot of the book that dealt with Alcoholics Anonymous, but not a section about AA, just AA stories randomly interspersed with other stories.
From the stories in the book you could separate out the AA information for a book about the creation and why AA has seen the success it has and perhaps another book with what is left to create a chicken soup for the imperfect soul type book. As it stands it is just a jumbled mess.
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December 31, 2008wow. where to begin? this book is very thought provoking. it is kind of text booky in parts, but if you can get through that there is a great deal to ponder up in he-yah. tons of examples from ancient history to current day. the basic premise is that to deny your imperfections is to deny your very human-ness. if you can come to terms with the fact that you are flawed by nature, you can begin to understand and forgive the imperfections of others. for someone who has struggled with the p-word most of her life, i found this book to be liberating, inspiring, and just what i needed to read to finish off a life altering year. i dig it.
January 24, 2009
This is very much a long-term favorite of mine. I always reach for it when I'm sad, frightened, or stuck in any way. It centers on Alcoholics Anonymous and how Bill W. (AA's founder) discovered that the desire to be perfect was really the sticking spot for most alcoholics; they had to discover that perfection was impossible. The book is full of stories from three or four religious traditions, plus AA stories and Bill W's letters illustrating not only humankind's innate imperfection but our need to be reminded of it. Anytime my husband sees this book out, he'll ask, "What's wrong?" To be honest, by the time I've read through a chapter, I feel quite a bit put back together.
January 3, 2011
ehhhh...bla bla bla...it gives a lot of excuses to be lazy in your search for sirituality...pawns off a lot of the blame of our poor choices/decisions in life on the human condition...whatever, I read it at a time in my life when I was comfortable being lazy...not really recommended to the lay person, it's a good primer for better things to come I suppose.
May 14, 2022
This is a book for all people not just those who are in some recovery program or other. The strive to be perfect will never succeed but the acceptance of flaws can free a person to embrace life is the overall message of the book. Or at least what I took aways from it. This may be a flawed one sentence review but it is the best you are getting from me. Read the Book.
April 13, 2019
Pseudo-philosophical expansion on AA literature - I think I bought this because of the title, but I don't subscribe to the fundamental tenet of AA; I don't believe we are powerless nor do we need to give over to a higher power. I'm going to pass this on to a friend who has been helped by AA, though, so all is not lost.
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