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1,2,3...The Toddler Years: A Practical Guide for Parents and Caregivers
1,2,3...The Toddler Years offers practical help in an entertaining fashion on the many issues parents and caregivers face as young children experience the toddler years. The true life examples, humorous approach and clear format make the book easy to read and use. These methods have been applied successfully for over 30 years by the Santa Cruz Toddler Care Center, which has built its program around the belief that what young children learn about themselves and their world during their toddler years will affect the rest of their lives.
Topics
- Settling limits
- Biting,
- Sharing
- Sleeping
- Eating
- Separation
- Toilet learning.
There is also a section on successful parenting including
- Learn from others
- Trust yourself
- Take care of yourself
- Stop feeling guilty
- Enjoy your child
- Finding and keeping quality child care.
Topics
- Settling limits
- Biting,
- Sharing
- Sleeping
- Eating
- Separation
- Toilet learning.
There is also a section on successful parenting including
- Learn from others
- Trust yourself
- Take care of yourself
- Stop feeling guilty
- Enjoy your child
- Finding and keeping quality child care.
208 pages, Paperback
First published April 1, 1993
10 people are currently reading
451 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews
April 10, 2013
So some of the advice given in here is unusual, perhaps even counter-intuitive for someone schooled in traditional parenting. I wouldn't know what to think, but I've spent the last few weeks hanging out with a 1-year old raised by the methods described in here. The kid is just a total pleasure to be around. He is not one of those nightmare babies, crying and fussing all the time, he's not helpless or incompetent in the slightest. His parents treat him as a human being, and he acts like one. Honestly its something I've never seen before.
Of course this book is not the end-all, be-all of their approach. They've got a whole stack of books on treating kids with respect, and I'm not sure that this particular one was even that important. But check out the RIE method if you want your kid to be your friend instead of your pet. Humans resent being controlled. The methods described in this book are the only way to go if you don't want your children to resent you.
Of course this book is not the end-all, be-all of their approach. They've got a whole stack of books on treating kids with respect, and I'm not sure that this particular one was even that important. But check out the RIE method if you want your kid to be your friend instead of your pet. Humans resent being controlled. The methods described in this book are the only way to go if you don't want your children to resent you.
August 4, 2015
Like Dear Parent by Magda Gerber, this book is very simple and has short, to-the-point chapters. Makes it easy to read a quick chapter or two or to reread in order to refresh yourself on a certain topic. I appreciate the overview from the philosophical point of view as well as the specific examples.
July 18, 2015
If you've read Magda Gerber's books (Your Self Confident Baby, Dear Parent), this book doesn't have much to add. As a primer to her philosophy, it's not very helpful either. The book consists of mostly practical tips and specifics devoid of abstract principles, so it's somewhat difficult to get a clear picture of Gerber's approach.
Gerber sometimes makes the opposite error -- stating abstract principles with little concretization -- so this book might help you "chew" on these ideas.
Gerber sometimes makes the opposite error -- stating abstract principles with little concretization -- so this book might help you "chew" on these ideas.
April 5, 2017
This is a not-particularly-well written, but easy to read and digest little book about engaging with toddlers. It's essentially a short book of lessons in clunky anecdote form, with 'conversations' between carers and children, or carers and parents. Each of the little chapters are quite heartwarming and inspiring in their message and philosophy, but are awkward and almost cringeworthy in their execution and the way they have been reduced to paper. It almost feels like blog posts that have been DIY-printed into a book.
The conversations and exchanges are in some ways unbelievable, in that they seem unlikely to have happened in the way that they are put forward, which was almost irritating to read. I did actually cringe and roll my eyes at various points through the book, and felt lame and awkward even thinking about actually having these conversations with my son. But at the same time, they were demonstrative and helpful, in that they provided real suggestions for approaching and responding to challenging behavior.
I came to this book after trying unsuccessfully to find Janet Lansbury’s book/s or have them sent to Australia at a non-exorbitant price, and having read other reviews of this book, it appears that I’ve started somewhere in the middle. As in, there are other books that really frame or establish this approach to parenting in a more theoretical way, and I’ve skipped straight to the how-to. Perhaps that’s a good way to start for some people, but it really felt like I missed something and ended up with the pamphlet summary.
The conversations and exchanges are in some ways unbelievable, in that they seem unlikely to have happened in the way that they are put forward, which was almost irritating to read. I did actually cringe and roll my eyes at various points through the book, and felt lame and awkward even thinking about actually having these conversations with my son. But at the same time, they were demonstrative and helpful, in that they provided real suggestions for approaching and responding to challenging behavior.
I came to this book after trying unsuccessfully to find Janet Lansbury’s book/s or have them sent to Australia at a non-exorbitant price, and having read other reviews of this book, it appears that I’ve started somewhere in the middle. As in, there are other books that really frame or establish this approach to parenting in a more theoretical way, and I’ve skipped straight to the how-to. Perhaps that’s a good way to start for some people, but it really felt like I missed something and ended up with the pamphlet summary.
January 1, 2016
A little smug, but I didn't hate this book. Their tips were already things we were doing and I found some parts lacking in important details like: what if your toddler does NOT respond as ideally as you'd like?
October 2, 2018
I picked this book up from the library hoping to gain some knowledge about sharing and how to help my toddler with it.
It was the perfect book and exactly what I needed! It's meant for parents and care givers (day care and such), and has a lot more in here than just about sharing. Plus it's quick, to the point, and short... all of my favorite things.
Some of the things that really hit home:
1. Acknowledge their feelings. It's OK to be sad or mad as long as they don't hurt people or things.
2. Stop children with I statements. Use a calm firm voice.
3. Let children do things and learn on their own instead of doing it for them.
4. Toddlers do not learn to share by having grown ups make them do it. Don't force them to share or take turns. Have them put away toys at home before a play date that they don't want to share. Praise them when they do share and acknowledge when you share with them.
5. Help them work out their problem on their own, as long as they can do it without hurting each other. Talk them through solutions and acknowledge feelings.
6. Don't say things like:
"Sally had the bucket first. Nick will have to wait."
"Sally has had the bucket a long time. Nick needs a turn."
"I don't like fighting. I'm going to put the bucket away."
7. Young children should believe that what they can do, have, or feel is not dependent on whether they are a girl or boy.
8. Make a conscious effort to keep the older child from becoming Daddy's and the newborn from becoming Mommy's
9. It is possible to stick with what we feel is right for our children without attacking others' point of view. "That's one way of doing it. I haven't chosen to do it that way."
Their potty training stuff also matched the Oh Crap! Potty training book pretty well too.
Big eye opener for me with a child who is used to being assertive for what he wants and takes things when he wants them. I feel like I know how to teach and help him better now. It was also helpful to teach me about the reverse side of things, and about the children who get toys taken away and how to help them stand up for themselves and fix their own problems without stepping in for them. It just all made sense after reading this book for me. It's what I was needing because I was at a loss as to how to raise and teach my son with the whole sharing thing.
It was the perfect book and exactly what I needed! It's meant for parents and care givers (day care and such), and has a lot more in here than just about sharing. Plus it's quick, to the point, and short... all of my favorite things.
Some of the things that really hit home:
1. Acknowledge their feelings. It's OK to be sad or mad as long as they don't hurt people or things.
2. Stop children with I statements. Use a calm firm voice.
3. Let children do things and learn on their own instead of doing it for them.
4. Toddlers do not learn to share by having grown ups make them do it. Don't force them to share or take turns. Have them put away toys at home before a play date that they don't want to share. Praise them when they do share and acknowledge when you share with them.
5. Help them work out their problem on their own, as long as they can do it without hurting each other. Talk them through solutions and acknowledge feelings.
6. Don't say things like:
"Sally had the bucket first. Nick will have to wait."
"Sally has had the bucket a long time. Nick needs a turn."
"I don't like fighting. I'm going to put the bucket away."
7. Young children should believe that what they can do, have, or feel is not dependent on whether they are a girl or boy.
8. Make a conscious effort to keep the older child from becoming Daddy's and the newborn from becoming Mommy's
9. It is possible to stick with what we feel is right for our children without attacking others' point of view. "That's one way of doing it. I haven't chosen to do it that way."
Their potty training stuff also matched the Oh Crap! Potty training book pretty well too.
Big eye opener for me with a child who is used to being assertive for what he wants and takes things when he wants them. I feel like I know how to teach and help him better now. It was also helpful to teach me about the reverse side of things, and about the children who get toys taken away and how to help them stand up for themselves and fix their own problems without stepping in for them. It just all made sense after reading this book for me. It's what I was needing because I was at a loss as to how to raise and teach my son with the whole sharing thing.
November 11, 2017
This book will show you how respect and empathy can lead to cooperation and a healthy relationship between the toddler and parent/teacher. It also equips you with conflict-resolution tools for very young children. In a very simple way, this book talks about adult expectations and what is age-appropriate and what is not. Specific examples and very short chapters.
For example it talks about:
biting,
fighting,
sharing or not,
going to sleep,
saying good bye,
toilet learning,
eating.
January 31, 2020
Startend op de kinderopvang met alleen mijn diploma onderwijsassistent en propedeuse pabo op zak waar ik enkel werk met kinderen van 4 t/m 12 jaar biedt dit boek de basiskennis die handig is om te weten in de praktijk. Een compleet boekje waar belangrijke onderwerpen in worden aangekaart die mij in de eerste weken al bekend voorkomen. Voor meer diepgang moet ik het in andere literatuur op gaan zoeken, maar ter introductie werkt dit goed.
October 7, 2023
Some good stuff in there (e.g. validate child’s emotions otherwise they learn that it’s not ok to feel sad/angry/scared), though the book is in large font with lots of pictures so it’s a quick read. But some of the info is pretty dated (e.g. look up childcare centers in the yellow pages). And the recommended books in the back are mostly from the 80s and 90s.
March 3, 2021
This is a really good parenting book! For me, it reinforced what I learned from "No Bad Kids" by Janet Lansbury. I found Janet's book to be much more in depth. Nonetheless, this book was a quick, easy read with good ideas for gentle parenting. I enjoyed the little stories from the childrens center.
March 26, 2021
I didn't necessarily learn much new information from this book (since I mostly agreed with the RIE approach before ever picking up the book). It was a very easy-to-read book & I'd probably share it with a friend who wanted an introduction to respectful caregiving.
April 23, 2021
The most helpful book I’ve ever read on parenting period. It’s short, if acknowledges the humanity of both you and your child, and it simplifies everything in a way that makes you go “ooooh duh!” But with relief. I’d read it even for older kids honestly.
August 20, 2018
I really liked the practicality of this book. It was straightforward, gave helpful tips, and was a quick read. Not the most mind blowing book, but super helpful!
May 26, 2019
Practical, easy to read.
February 20, 2017
This book was an ok read but those already familiar with Gerber's approaches or RIE parenting strategies, it didn't add much. I liked some of the sample dialogues between caregivers and toddlers, but each chapter was very short and disconnected. I'd suggest this as a companion book (especially for those who want to see cute pictures of kids engaged in authentic play) but it would not be that practical if read alone
October 28, 2011
Way back in 2008 when we first kicked around the idea of becoming parents, we did what all sensible parents-to-be do: buy a stack of discounted parenting books from a salvage store! Three years, one baby and a whole lot of reading later, it turns out that one of those random used books, Your Self-Confident Baby, ended up most closely matching the way we prefer to raise our kid (attachment parenting be damned). So naturally, when the time came to read up on toddlers, I went for this book, which extends the RIE philosophy to the 1-to-3-year-old stage. The author is the director of the Santa Cruz Toddler Center and offers calm and constructive responses for parents to try when confronted with maddening or irrational toddler behavior, as well as overall guidelines on how to treat toddlers with respect so they don't have to act out as much. I also loved the last section, which is devoted to caring for your own sanity and needs as the parent of a toddler.
July 12, 2014
This guide is strongly based on RIE parenting, and therefore has a focus on respectful behavior toward the toddler. I read this book because I follow Janet Lansbury's "Elevating Child Care" blog, and it has been mentioned there quite a bit. Curious, I wanted to see what helpful tips if could give since I am now halfway into the toddler stage with my son. Each chapter is short (only a few pages long), and many include photos from the Toddler Care Center where the book originated. The brevity of the chapters was helpful for both reading during limited time frames (who has time with a toddler around?!) and simple, to the point approaches for dealing with various circumstances. In just a couple of days, I'd already gained some techniques that made our routine as a family much smoother (such as communicating about upcoming transitions like diaper changes, bath times, etc.) and less-likely to spark a tantrum. It has worked wonderfully! A great guide for first-time parents, anyone looking to smooth their family routines, and those interested in respectful parenting.
November 5, 2013
This book is a quick and easy read with positive yet simple guidance on how to encourage happy and independent children. However as I read this, I found myself being someone frustrated as the guidance seems like it should be very straight forward and almost common sense to many. Yet I was reminded that many of the messages that were carried throughout the book are ones that today's parents really need to hear. Personally, I need to be reminded that children learn by doing and sometimes the best thing to do is be present and not to interfere when kids are trying to work out a problem. We live in an age of doing, where we need to move quickly all the time. Parents want to encourage and help their children. But we often step in too quickly without giving the child the opportunity to try to resolve things on their own. That was a great take away for me.
July 2, 2012
This had quite a few good suggestions and ideas. I didn't find it as illuminating or surprising as the Ginott books I've been reading, which have given me totally new ideas for interacting with kids and ways of saying and doing things. However, there are some good suggestions for ways to make things easier when dealing with toddlers, respect and validate their feelings, set things up in the home for success, and when to let go of demands and expectations. I especially like the reminders to be patient and let them struggle through things on their own without being rushed, since this is how they learn and grow. And to offer choices, and allow them to make those choices, often.
September 29, 2008
Whoa! Anyone who has a toddler needs to have this book. I find myself running to it during nap-times to make sure I am handling things in a healthy way for my little lady. It's written by a RIE approved day care center in Santa Cruz... and really offers gentle and effective ways to handle all the dramas of being a parent!
February 23, 2014
Instead of working to convince you that its philosophy (emphasizing respect for the child, maybe RIE light?) is right, this book just assumes you're on board and provides helpful and clear suggestions and encouragement for implementation. The writing is clunky at times, but the overall tone is so friendly and encouraging that that is easily overlooked.
May 21, 2014
Simple, quick read outlines many RIE inspired activities and responses. I enjoyed the suggested responses for different situations. There is some advice in here that I don't agree with (they mention CIO at one point) but what parenting book doesn't have something you disagree with? Overall, I would recommend.
June 22, 2012
Would have liked more stories and examples but the info otherwise is a wonderful continuation of Gerber's Caring for Infants with Respect. Love finding ways to show respect to babies and crackwhores, I mean toddlers.
August 6, 2016
I liked a lot of the ideas in this book, but from others' reviews I thought it would be a little more...something? It was a good, practical book, but it could have been more, I think. Worth a read for a parent of a new toddler.
January 17, 2008
a respectful approach to raising toddlers
April 14, 2008
I enjoyed reading this books because it help me understand toddlers better and it also gives ideas on how to correct their
not so good behavior in a positive way.
not so good behavior in a positive way.
April 29, 2008
Quick, easy, and sensitive reference for a very challenging time in parenthood.
June 28, 2011
There were some parts of this book I would disregard, but on the whole I found it very helpful!
October 23, 2011
I like this one. It doesn't offer as much specific instruction as I would like, though, so it's probably best when combined with other RIE books.
March 20, 2013
Short and accessible, this book gives advice on how to respond to toddlers in a way that supports a respectful environment.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews