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Return: Four Phases of our Mortal Journey Home
While serving as a jet fighter pilot for the U.S. Air Force, Elder Robert D. Hales adopted the motto of his unit, "Return with Honor." Through his apostolic calling, he's invited us to do the same. Applying this life motto to our mortal journey, Elder Hales shares keen insights gleaned from years of experience as a Church leader and business executive. As we travel life's path, we encounter four distinct preparation, decision, serving, and enduring. Elder Hales considers each of these essential periods and makes his message clear - whatever your stage in life, keeping sacred covenants, prayerfully making life's important decisions, and embracing the Atonement can prepare you for eternal life. With never-before-shared stories, Elder Hales' first book is an inspired guide to your journey home.
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May 14, 2013
This is a wonderful book! Elder Hales outlines four phases of life – the decades of preparation, the decade of decision, the decades of serving and pressing forward, and the decades of serving and enduring to the end. During each of these times there are important and eternal principles that we must learn and live in order to return to live with our Heavenly Father again.
I loved learning more about Elder Hales and was inspired by all that he teaches here. He reminds us of the simple and clear path of faith, repentance, baptism, the gift of the Holy Ghost and what it really means to endure to the end. He talks about remembering who we are, making decisions, education, missionary work, the temple, marriage, single adults, families, love, gifts, following prophets, facing trials, growing old and the Atonement.
There are so many beautiful and direct statements of faith and testimony and direction in his words. Here are a few of my favorites:
"Wherever we are in life, we are always preparing for greater opportunities to learn, grow, and serve others, we are always preparing to return with honor to the presence of our Heavenly Father, and we are always preparing to be more devoted disciples of Jesus Christ, which means accepting His invitation to 'come, follow me' (p. 25)."
"'I don't know why a person thinks he or she can go through life without a scorecard.' (Johnny Miller, p. 35)"
"As we remember and understand who we are, we begin to realize that our lives are of supreme importance to our Heavenly Father (p. 35)."
"Choose to accept – truly accept – that you are a child of God, that He loves you, and that He has the power to help you. Choose to put everything – literally everything – on the altar before Him (p. 37)."
"Faith in the Lord is trust in the Lord. When in prayer we say, 'Thy will be done,' we are expressing trust that His will is going to be accomplished. We are also acknowledging that we will endure whatever He allows to happen to us. Part of enduring well is to thank Him 'in all things' (p. 44)."
"There will be times when we have embarrassing crashes. The adversary will try to replay those images in our minds to keep us from progressing. We must learn to forgive ourselves. How thankful I am for repentance (p. 52)."
"My most important job that day was not being an executive but being a home teacher. In that role, it was my right and responsibility to receive promptings from the Spirit that were critical to the life of this good sister. How vital it is that we listen to and obey the promptings of the Spirit – always (p. 70)."
"To keep the light of the Holy Ghost with us requires more than a one-time exercise of faith….We need to breathe, and we cannot save up in reserve the air we need no matter how hard we try. Moment by moment, breath by breath, our lives are granted to us and we are renewed (p. 73)."
"Receiving and retaining the Holy Ghost takes a whole-souled effort (p. 76)."
"As we listen to the Spirit, we will understand the profound invitation in Proverbs to 'ponder the path of life' – to listen to what the gentle hand of our Maker would guide us to, and what He would have us do to take the next steps (p. 78)."
"Are we too busy to hear the guiding and comforting promptings of the Holy Ghost (p. 79)?"
"The world needs good mothers….being a great mother requires a lifetime of preparation….see [yourselves] as [you] are seen by God—as noble daughters with divine potential and a glorious future, trusted with the most sacred of all tasks our Heavenly Father has given to His children (p. 124)."
"And Samuel grew, and the Lord was with him, and did let none of his words fall to the ground (1 Samuel 3:19, p. 126)."
"Do we know what our weaknesses are and the situations we must avoid? ...If we are prepared, the fury of the adversary will not be fatal (p. 147)."
"Five important elements that allow us to make good decisions:
1. Have an eternal plan with objectives that we are committed to achieve.
2. Study and pray about our decisions, continually seeking spiritual guidance, courage, and commitment, as well as wise counsel from mortals we trust.
3. In every major decision, examine and understand our motives.
4. Make decisions in a timely way, yet without rushing them.
5. As much as is reasonable, take responsibility for our destiny rather than letting events and circumstances determine where we will go and what we will do (p. 165)."
"Decide to know more about ourselves, who we are, what our capabilities are, and what we want to accomplish. Each of us has a talent that is unique. Our job is to find out what that talent is and what our contribution should be. We can decide where we are going to be….We then pursue our goals with all our heart, might, mind, and strength…acting with conviction and determination (p. 174)."
"I am not afraid of death. What I am afraid of is that I will meet the Savior and he will say, 'You could have done better (President Spencer W. Kimball, p. 178).'"
"Coach Lombardi explained, 'If you want to be champions, you're going to have to learn to live with small hurts and play with small hurts…' In our lives, to endure to the end faithfully we have to learn to endure the 'small hurts' in life and keep going until the end has come (p. 185)."
"We should never let someone else determine who we are….With faith, we can overcome our fears and doubts. We know where we came from, why we're here, and where we're going. We understand our purpose in life is to be able to return to the presence of our Heavenly Father with honor (p. 186)."
"We shouldn't paint over the wallpaper in life…Whether we are building the kingdom of God or building our character, when we are seeking to accomplish great things—things of lasting value—it never pays to take spiritual shortcuts (p. 203)."
"We cannot receive the greatest blessings Heavenly Father has in store for us without developing the patience and faith to wait….'For the people of the Lord are they who wait for him; for they still wait for the coming of the Messiah' (2 Nephi 6:13)….We wait up on the Lord when we walk in faith with a humble expectation that His promises are sure (p. 204-5)."
"'There is no royal road to geometry.' Nor are there any easy shortcuts to returning home to our Heavenly Father and becoming who and what He wants us to become (p. 207)."
"The Savior wants us to live up to our full potential to become perfect, even as He and His Father are perfect. We cannot do this alone, but when we come to Christ, He gives us the power to become His sons and daughters (p. 211)."
"We will all have educational and other opportunities that can prepare us to contribute to the Lord's kingdom in unique and important ways. We have to understand that sometimes we will find ourselves in the right place at the right time. We have to take advantage of those opportunities; they come only once.
"We are clearly instructed that each of us is given a gift or gifts. Each one of us has different talents and different gifts…Do we know what gifts we have been given? Are we seeking to find our gifts? Through effort, experiment, and practice, our gifts are revealed to us.
"Before a meeting of General Authorities years ago, Elder Jacob de Jager was asked if he could play the piano. His response was classic: 'I don't know. I haven't tried to play the piano.' Do we ever stop to ponder how many gifts we have been given but have not yet discovered or developed (p. 216)?"
"How many gifts and talents do we have? The decade of decision is the time for us to discover what our gifts and talents are and to decide which talents to develop further....We will have to take some risks and be willing to fail and to learn from our failures and our mistakes (p. 218)."
"In the advanced curriculum of life, sometimes the more knowledge we gain, the easier it is to forget our Heavenly Father and the need for His guiding hand. 'Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes; fear the Lord, and depart from evil' (Proverbs 3:5-7, p. 222)."
"It is impossible to succeed alone. The only way to truly succeed is to help others succeed as well. We must use our education not to distinguish ourselves from others but to devote ourselves to them—to helping them grow and flourish, even if it seems to be at the expense of our own prominence and glory (p. 225)."
"It is important to gain an education to help us to be self-sufficient, but it is equally important to gain an education so we will be able to lift and strengthen others—family, friends, neighbors, members of our ward and stake, our community, and other acquaintances (p. 226)."
"Whatever endeavor you want to explore, associate with people who have valuable experience (p. 228)."
"Don't let life determine for you want you are going to be. You will want to take that responsibility on yourself (p. 228)."
"The decision to marry should be based primarily on inner beauty, and that beauty is evident in divine gifts and the shaping influence of righteousness. It is the beauty of a faithful soul. Having done our due diligence, we then make a decision and take it to the Lord. In this way, we become accountable for our decision and responsible to prayerfully resolve the challenges that may arise. When we present our decision to the Lord, we pray sincerely, with real intent, being willing to accept whatever answer the Lord gives us (p. 237)."
"The temple is the greatest of all houses of learning, the greatest university (p. 243)."
"As we ponder on the circumstances of our lives, nothing brings us great security, strength, and comfort than our covenants (p. 245)."
"Every one of us has challenges, pain, and opposition. None of us is exempt from the realities of mortality….In His kingdom, salvation is for everyone in whatever circumstances we may find ourselves….There are as many classifications as there are individuals. And yet there is only one classification that counts: We are all children of a loving Heavenly Father, who wants us to succeed and return to His presence. In that respect, we are all the same. We are not alone. We are all loved (p. 262)."
"We all belong to a community of Saints, we all need each other, and we are all working toward the same goal. Any of us could isolate ourselves from this ward family on the basis of our differences. But we must not shut ourselves out or isolate ourselves from opportunities because of differences we perceive in ourselves. Instead, we are enjoined, as baptized members of the Church, to share our gifts and talents with others, bringing brightness of hope and joy to them, and in so doing lift our own spirits (p. 263)."
"Bring home flowers often enough that your wife doesn't say, 'What's the matter?' Court your dear wife in the same manner you did to bring her to the temple so that when you leave this life, she will want to be with you for time and all eternity (President Harold B. Lee, p. 269)."
"He desires that we always build each other up, even when we are making suggestions for improvement. To strengthen one another in all we do is ultimately the way we grow together and become one—of one mind, one heart, one purpose, and one accord (p. 273)."
"It has been suggested that if you really love someone, you never have to say you're sorry. I disagree with that. I think we need to be quick to say, 'I'm sorry.' And not only 'I'm sorry' but to have the humility to say, 'I'm sorry, and I will do better (p. 278).'"
"Are you buying this for me or for you (Sister Hales, p. 283)?"
"We don't know the end from the beginning. That is, we don't know what opportunities, adventures, and trials we have ahead of us….Only when we hold on to the word of God, including the promptings of the Holy Ghost in our own hearts and minds, will we be able to stay on the path, take our rightful place, and receive our eternal reward (p. 298)."
"If the Lord wants you to be a ball player, you will be. Follow where the Spirit takes you (Elder Hales' mother, p. 304)!"
"As sons and daughters of God, each of us left our heavenly home, having been called on a mortal mission for a noble purpose. Each of us should pray for guidance to know what we were sent to earth to accomplish—and for the strength and wisdom to remain true and faithful to the end. It is part of the plan to have experiences that test, strengthen, and refine us….May we listen to the Spirit and remember who we are and what we are here to do—to follow the Savior and His servants and return with honor (p. 304)."
"The calling of father or mother is sacred and carries with it great privileges and responsibilities….A significant part of a parent's responsibility is to represent Heavenly Father and exemplify who He is (p. 307)."
"We should always speak the truth to our children in love and with genuine concern for their well-being (p. 314)."
"The choices of our children should never weaken our own commitment to the Savior….Although we could all be better parents, none of us needs to raise our children alone. They are our Heavenly Father's children, and He has a great stake in their success. I testify that He leaves the door open… (p. 320)."
"As converted members and true shepherds, our calling is to be vigilant about His sheep—to remember them, watch over them, and do all we can to keep them from wandering off and losing their way (p. 327)."
"When we focus on how much we love our brothers and sisters, our fears melt away. Love fills us with the desire and courage to open our mouths. The light of our testimony pushes back the darkness. There is no greater gift we can give others than to bear our testimony to them. There is no greater joy we can have than to bring even one soul unto Christ (p. 332)."
"To truly feast upon the words of Christ and be nourished in prayer, however, we cannot ignore the third element of personal revelation: pondering. It is by pondering that we make what is revealed to us part of our every thought and action (p. 347)."
"Taking our signals from prophets may not always be easy, because they sometimes ask us to do things that are hard—that is, they call us out of the world and put us out of step with society. In fact, a characteristic of prophets throughout the ages is that, regardless of the consequences, they have had the strength to plainly and boldly warn of the consequences of violating God's laws (p. 358)."
"We search and study for the joy of being edified rather than for the pleasure of being entertained. Our educational goals are not to impress others but to serve them. Our learning objective is not to succeed in the eyes of men but to grow, improve, and return to our heavenly home with honor, prepared to receive greater responsibility and opportunity than we now have….We begin to see our education as a lifelong journey (p. 364)."
"Lifelong learners have the courage to go beyond the limits of their educational comfort zone and learn about what is unknown and unfamiliar to them. They are not too proud to say 'I don't know' and to ask 'why?' They are not afraid to start at the beginning and learning 'line upon line, precept upon precept (p. 365).'"
"Lifelong learners are teachers at heart. As classmates, they help others succeed. As mentors and teachers, they delight in others' gifts and rejoice to see them progress. They believe in others' unique gifts and talents and are not afraid of helping others surpass them in their level of skill and accomplishment (p. 367)."
"The key to obtaining scriptural knowledge is not merely memorizing verses and comprehending them but to follow the Spirit by putting them into practice. We may say we have learned a gospel truth, but we do not know it until we have acted upon it (p. 369)."
"As we stand atop any peak, let us enjoy the moment of satisfaction in the present. Look at the remarkable view and the progress we have made. Then turn around to see what new peaks are now in sight and set a course to climb higher in the future (p. 372)."
"Her most effective teaching occurs in quiet, private moments between herself and her children. Her most effective classroom is at her knee. A mother's opportunities for lifelong learning and teaching are greater in magnitude than any other, for the growth and development of children is by far the most important and demanding work in the universe (p. 373)!"
"As we progress, we learn that while suffering in this life is a universal condition, how we respond to it is a matter of individual choice. And the way we answer life's trials is the basis of our personal growth and discipleship (p. 381)."
"We will all suffer setbacks and losses. But we must make sure we don't become bogged down by the hardships of our past (p. 389)."
"Despite the effects of age—and sometimes because of those effects and the positive impact your needs have on others—you are making an essential contribution. Be assured, the challenges of your growing older may be the very opportunities others need to grow and progress. For this reason, your willingness to finish the race strong is an integral part of Heavenly Father's plan for you and for those you love (p. 394)."
"How we serve when we no longer find ourselves in the gospel limelight may be even more important than how we served when the whole ward or stake seemed to be watching us. As the years go on, we become more concerned with God watching us. It becomes clear to Hi9m and to us that the way we serve Him in our golden years reveals the true riches of our souls (p. 397)."
"It is for the Lord, not us, to decide the terms of the race of life, including when the race should be over. As long as he lends us breath in mortality, we are to run, even if that means shuffling breathlessly along (p. 398)."
"I testify of the extraordinary peace and tranquility that await those beyond the veil who have followed the light and knowledge they received in this life. If we could experience, even momentarily, the scene that awaits the righteous there, we would find it difficult to return to mortality (p. 404)."
"Eternal life and eternal joy are possible only because of our Savior Jesus Christ and His great and infinite Atonement (p. 413)."
"I testify that if we are obedient and desire to have the Spirit bear witness of the divinity of the Savior and His Atonement, that witness will be given to us. We can know….Once each of us receives that precious knowledge, we spend the rest of our days in mortality expressing gratitude in prayer to our Heavenly Father and living each day in such a way that we will be worthy of the blessings of the Atonement in our lives (p. 423)."
I loved learning more about Elder Hales and was inspired by all that he teaches here. He reminds us of the simple and clear path of faith, repentance, baptism, the gift of the Holy Ghost and what it really means to endure to the end. He talks about remembering who we are, making decisions, education, missionary work, the temple, marriage, single adults, families, love, gifts, following prophets, facing trials, growing old and the Atonement.
There are so many beautiful and direct statements of faith and testimony and direction in his words. Here are a few of my favorites:
"Wherever we are in life, we are always preparing for greater opportunities to learn, grow, and serve others, we are always preparing to return with honor to the presence of our Heavenly Father, and we are always preparing to be more devoted disciples of Jesus Christ, which means accepting His invitation to 'come, follow me' (p. 25)."
"'I don't know why a person thinks he or she can go through life without a scorecard.' (Johnny Miller, p. 35)"
"As we remember and understand who we are, we begin to realize that our lives are of supreme importance to our Heavenly Father (p. 35)."
"Choose to accept – truly accept – that you are a child of God, that He loves you, and that He has the power to help you. Choose to put everything – literally everything – on the altar before Him (p. 37)."
"Faith in the Lord is trust in the Lord. When in prayer we say, 'Thy will be done,' we are expressing trust that His will is going to be accomplished. We are also acknowledging that we will endure whatever He allows to happen to us. Part of enduring well is to thank Him 'in all things' (p. 44)."
"There will be times when we have embarrassing crashes. The adversary will try to replay those images in our minds to keep us from progressing. We must learn to forgive ourselves. How thankful I am for repentance (p. 52)."
"My most important job that day was not being an executive but being a home teacher. In that role, it was my right and responsibility to receive promptings from the Spirit that were critical to the life of this good sister. How vital it is that we listen to and obey the promptings of the Spirit – always (p. 70)."
"To keep the light of the Holy Ghost with us requires more than a one-time exercise of faith….We need to breathe, and we cannot save up in reserve the air we need no matter how hard we try. Moment by moment, breath by breath, our lives are granted to us and we are renewed (p. 73)."
"Receiving and retaining the Holy Ghost takes a whole-souled effort (p. 76)."
"As we listen to the Spirit, we will understand the profound invitation in Proverbs to 'ponder the path of life' – to listen to what the gentle hand of our Maker would guide us to, and what He would have us do to take the next steps (p. 78)."
"Are we too busy to hear the guiding and comforting promptings of the Holy Ghost (p. 79)?"
"The world needs good mothers….being a great mother requires a lifetime of preparation….see [yourselves] as [you] are seen by God—as noble daughters with divine potential and a glorious future, trusted with the most sacred of all tasks our Heavenly Father has given to His children (p. 124)."
"And Samuel grew, and the Lord was with him, and did let none of his words fall to the ground (1 Samuel 3:19, p. 126)."
"Do we know what our weaknesses are and the situations we must avoid? ...If we are prepared, the fury of the adversary will not be fatal (p. 147)."
"Five important elements that allow us to make good decisions:
1. Have an eternal plan with objectives that we are committed to achieve.
2. Study and pray about our decisions, continually seeking spiritual guidance, courage, and commitment, as well as wise counsel from mortals we trust.
3. In every major decision, examine and understand our motives.
4. Make decisions in a timely way, yet without rushing them.
5. As much as is reasonable, take responsibility for our destiny rather than letting events and circumstances determine where we will go and what we will do (p. 165)."
"Decide to know more about ourselves, who we are, what our capabilities are, and what we want to accomplish. Each of us has a talent that is unique. Our job is to find out what that talent is and what our contribution should be. We can decide where we are going to be….We then pursue our goals with all our heart, might, mind, and strength…acting with conviction and determination (p. 174)."
"I am not afraid of death. What I am afraid of is that I will meet the Savior and he will say, 'You could have done better (President Spencer W. Kimball, p. 178).'"
"Coach Lombardi explained, 'If you want to be champions, you're going to have to learn to live with small hurts and play with small hurts…' In our lives, to endure to the end faithfully we have to learn to endure the 'small hurts' in life and keep going until the end has come (p. 185)."
"We should never let someone else determine who we are….With faith, we can overcome our fears and doubts. We know where we came from, why we're here, and where we're going. We understand our purpose in life is to be able to return to the presence of our Heavenly Father with honor (p. 186)."
"We shouldn't paint over the wallpaper in life…Whether we are building the kingdom of God or building our character, when we are seeking to accomplish great things—things of lasting value—it never pays to take spiritual shortcuts (p. 203)."
"We cannot receive the greatest blessings Heavenly Father has in store for us without developing the patience and faith to wait….'For the people of the Lord are they who wait for him; for they still wait for the coming of the Messiah' (2 Nephi 6:13)….We wait up on the Lord when we walk in faith with a humble expectation that His promises are sure (p. 204-5)."
"'There is no royal road to geometry.' Nor are there any easy shortcuts to returning home to our Heavenly Father and becoming who and what He wants us to become (p. 207)."
"The Savior wants us to live up to our full potential to become perfect, even as He and His Father are perfect. We cannot do this alone, but when we come to Christ, He gives us the power to become His sons and daughters (p. 211)."
"We will all have educational and other opportunities that can prepare us to contribute to the Lord's kingdom in unique and important ways. We have to understand that sometimes we will find ourselves in the right place at the right time. We have to take advantage of those opportunities; they come only once.
"We are clearly instructed that each of us is given a gift or gifts. Each one of us has different talents and different gifts…Do we know what gifts we have been given? Are we seeking to find our gifts? Through effort, experiment, and practice, our gifts are revealed to us.
"Before a meeting of General Authorities years ago, Elder Jacob de Jager was asked if he could play the piano. His response was classic: 'I don't know. I haven't tried to play the piano.' Do we ever stop to ponder how many gifts we have been given but have not yet discovered or developed (p. 216)?"
"How many gifts and talents do we have? The decade of decision is the time for us to discover what our gifts and talents are and to decide which talents to develop further....We will have to take some risks and be willing to fail and to learn from our failures and our mistakes (p. 218)."
"In the advanced curriculum of life, sometimes the more knowledge we gain, the easier it is to forget our Heavenly Father and the need for His guiding hand. 'Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes; fear the Lord, and depart from evil' (Proverbs 3:5-7, p. 222)."
"It is impossible to succeed alone. The only way to truly succeed is to help others succeed as well. We must use our education not to distinguish ourselves from others but to devote ourselves to them—to helping them grow and flourish, even if it seems to be at the expense of our own prominence and glory (p. 225)."
"It is important to gain an education to help us to be self-sufficient, but it is equally important to gain an education so we will be able to lift and strengthen others—family, friends, neighbors, members of our ward and stake, our community, and other acquaintances (p. 226)."
"Whatever endeavor you want to explore, associate with people who have valuable experience (p. 228)."
"Don't let life determine for you want you are going to be. You will want to take that responsibility on yourself (p. 228)."
"The decision to marry should be based primarily on inner beauty, and that beauty is evident in divine gifts and the shaping influence of righteousness. It is the beauty of a faithful soul. Having done our due diligence, we then make a decision and take it to the Lord. In this way, we become accountable for our decision and responsible to prayerfully resolve the challenges that may arise. When we present our decision to the Lord, we pray sincerely, with real intent, being willing to accept whatever answer the Lord gives us (p. 237)."
"The temple is the greatest of all houses of learning, the greatest university (p. 243)."
"As we ponder on the circumstances of our lives, nothing brings us great security, strength, and comfort than our covenants (p. 245)."
"Every one of us has challenges, pain, and opposition. None of us is exempt from the realities of mortality….In His kingdom, salvation is for everyone in whatever circumstances we may find ourselves….There are as many classifications as there are individuals. And yet there is only one classification that counts: We are all children of a loving Heavenly Father, who wants us to succeed and return to His presence. In that respect, we are all the same. We are not alone. We are all loved (p. 262)."
"We all belong to a community of Saints, we all need each other, and we are all working toward the same goal. Any of us could isolate ourselves from this ward family on the basis of our differences. But we must not shut ourselves out or isolate ourselves from opportunities because of differences we perceive in ourselves. Instead, we are enjoined, as baptized members of the Church, to share our gifts and talents with others, bringing brightness of hope and joy to them, and in so doing lift our own spirits (p. 263)."
"Bring home flowers often enough that your wife doesn't say, 'What's the matter?' Court your dear wife in the same manner you did to bring her to the temple so that when you leave this life, she will want to be with you for time and all eternity (President Harold B. Lee, p. 269)."
"He desires that we always build each other up, even when we are making suggestions for improvement. To strengthen one another in all we do is ultimately the way we grow together and become one—of one mind, one heart, one purpose, and one accord (p. 273)."
"It has been suggested that if you really love someone, you never have to say you're sorry. I disagree with that. I think we need to be quick to say, 'I'm sorry.' And not only 'I'm sorry' but to have the humility to say, 'I'm sorry, and I will do better (p. 278).'"
"Are you buying this for me or for you (Sister Hales, p. 283)?"
"We don't know the end from the beginning. That is, we don't know what opportunities, adventures, and trials we have ahead of us….Only when we hold on to the word of God, including the promptings of the Holy Ghost in our own hearts and minds, will we be able to stay on the path, take our rightful place, and receive our eternal reward (p. 298)."
"If the Lord wants you to be a ball player, you will be. Follow where the Spirit takes you (Elder Hales' mother, p. 304)!"
"As sons and daughters of God, each of us left our heavenly home, having been called on a mortal mission for a noble purpose. Each of us should pray for guidance to know what we were sent to earth to accomplish—and for the strength and wisdom to remain true and faithful to the end. It is part of the plan to have experiences that test, strengthen, and refine us….May we listen to the Spirit and remember who we are and what we are here to do—to follow the Savior and His servants and return with honor (p. 304)."
"The calling of father or mother is sacred and carries with it great privileges and responsibilities….A significant part of a parent's responsibility is to represent Heavenly Father and exemplify who He is (p. 307)."
"We should always speak the truth to our children in love and with genuine concern for their well-being (p. 314)."
"The choices of our children should never weaken our own commitment to the Savior….Although we could all be better parents, none of us needs to raise our children alone. They are our Heavenly Father's children, and He has a great stake in their success. I testify that He leaves the door open… (p. 320)."
"As converted members and true shepherds, our calling is to be vigilant about His sheep—to remember them, watch over them, and do all we can to keep them from wandering off and losing their way (p. 327)."
"When we focus on how much we love our brothers and sisters, our fears melt away. Love fills us with the desire and courage to open our mouths. The light of our testimony pushes back the darkness. There is no greater gift we can give others than to bear our testimony to them. There is no greater joy we can have than to bring even one soul unto Christ (p. 332)."
"To truly feast upon the words of Christ and be nourished in prayer, however, we cannot ignore the third element of personal revelation: pondering. It is by pondering that we make what is revealed to us part of our every thought and action (p. 347)."
"Taking our signals from prophets may not always be easy, because they sometimes ask us to do things that are hard—that is, they call us out of the world and put us out of step with society. In fact, a characteristic of prophets throughout the ages is that, regardless of the consequences, they have had the strength to plainly and boldly warn of the consequences of violating God's laws (p. 358)."
"We search and study for the joy of being edified rather than for the pleasure of being entertained. Our educational goals are not to impress others but to serve them. Our learning objective is not to succeed in the eyes of men but to grow, improve, and return to our heavenly home with honor, prepared to receive greater responsibility and opportunity than we now have….We begin to see our education as a lifelong journey (p. 364)."
"Lifelong learners have the courage to go beyond the limits of their educational comfort zone and learn about what is unknown and unfamiliar to them. They are not too proud to say 'I don't know' and to ask 'why?' They are not afraid to start at the beginning and learning 'line upon line, precept upon precept (p. 365).'"
"Lifelong learners are teachers at heart. As classmates, they help others succeed. As mentors and teachers, they delight in others' gifts and rejoice to see them progress. They believe in others' unique gifts and talents and are not afraid of helping others surpass them in their level of skill and accomplishment (p. 367)."
"The key to obtaining scriptural knowledge is not merely memorizing verses and comprehending them but to follow the Spirit by putting them into practice. We may say we have learned a gospel truth, but we do not know it until we have acted upon it (p. 369)."
"As we stand atop any peak, let us enjoy the moment of satisfaction in the present. Look at the remarkable view and the progress we have made. Then turn around to see what new peaks are now in sight and set a course to climb higher in the future (p. 372)."
"Her most effective teaching occurs in quiet, private moments between herself and her children. Her most effective classroom is at her knee. A mother's opportunities for lifelong learning and teaching are greater in magnitude than any other, for the growth and development of children is by far the most important and demanding work in the universe (p. 373)!"
"As we progress, we learn that while suffering in this life is a universal condition, how we respond to it is a matter of individual choice. And the way we answer life's trials is the basis of our personal growth and discipleship (p. 381)."
"We will all suffer setbacks and losses. But we must make sure we don't become bogged down by the hardships of our past (p. 389)."
"Despite the effects of age—and sometimes because of those effects and the positive impact your needs have on others—you are making an essential contribution. Be assured, the challenges of your growing older may be the very opportunities others need to grow and progress. For this reason, your willingness to finish the race strong is an integral part of Heavenly Father's plan for you and for those you love (p. 394)."
"How we serve when we no longer find ourselves in the gospel limelight may be even more important than how we served when the whole ward or stake seemed to be watching us. As the years go on, we become more concerned with God watching us. It becomes clear to Hi9m and to us that the way we serve Him in our golden years reveals the true riches of our souls (p. 397)."
"It is for the Lord, not us, to decide the terms of the race of life, including when the race should be over. As long as he lends us breath in mortality, we are to run, even if that means shuffling breathlessly along (p. 398)."
"I testify of the extraordinary peace and tranquility that await those beyond the veil who have followed the light and knowledge they received in this life. If we could experience, even momentarily, the scene that awaits the righteous there, we would find it difficult to return to mortality (p. 404)."
"Eternal life and eternal joy are possible only because of our Savior Jesus Christ and His great and infinite Atonement (p. 413)."
"I testify that if we are obedient and desire to have the Spirit bear witness of the divinity of the Savior and His Atonement, that witness will be given to us. We can know….Once each of us receives that precious knowledge, we spend the rest of our days in mortality expressing gratitude in prayer to our Heavenly Father and living each day in such a way that we will be worthy of the blessings of the Atonement in our lives (p. 423)."
August 1, 2019
This book is comprehensive, going through an entire life. He divides our earth life into four seasons. The first two decades of life he calls the “Decades of Preparation.” The next decade is the “Decade of Decision.” The next several decades are the “Decades of Serving and Pressing Forward.” And the last few decades are the “Decades of Serving and Enduring to the End.”
I am inclined to say that one would be best served to read the section corresponding to their current decade, but it’s not as if the things he chooses to focus on in any given decade are inapplicable to other decades. I think this may work best as a reference book, picking and choosing which sections of each decade to read based on interest and current circumstances. In addition to reading the sections associated with your current decade, one could choose to read the “Decades of Preparation” section because they currently work with children who are in those decades of life. One could choose to read the “Decade of Decision” because they have a child who is struggling in that decade of life. Or one could read the “Decades of Serving and Enduring to the End” as they care for elderly parents. There is so much mixing and matching one could do with this book. I will say that the kindle version makes this sort of referencing unfortunately much more difficult as it lacks a table of contents.
This is a good read. Elder Hales adds in lots of personal experiences and stories that make it more interesting. There’s really nothing new here as far as LDS doctrine, but it gives a good perspective by laying it all out this way.
I am inclined to say that one would be best served to read the section corresponding to their current decade, but it’s not as if the things he chooses to focus on in any given decade are inapplicable to other decades. I think this may work best as a reference book, picking and choosing which sections of each decade to read based on interest and current circumstances. In addition to reading the sections associated with your current decade, one could choose to read the “Decades of Preparation” section because they currently work with children who are in those decades of life. One could choose to read the “Decade of Decision” because they have a child who is struggling in that decade of life. Or one could read the “Decades of Serving and Enduring to the End” as they care for elderly parents. There is so much mixing and matching one could do with this book. I will say that the kindle version makes this sort of referencing unfortunately much more difficult as it lacks a table of contents.
This is a good read. Elder Hales adds in lots of personal experiences and stories that make it more interesting. There’s really nothing new here as far as LDS doctrine, but it gives a good perspective by laying it all out this way.
October 15, 2017
This is an inspiring, excellent and amazing book. It outlines step by step our journey through mortality. I purchased it in electronic format. I liked it so much I ordered it in book form for my library. I only wish I had it when I was a teenager but I probably would not have read it then because I already knew everything.
December 27, 2021
Excellent book, there is something for everyone.
Great insights
I enjoyed the stories he told to reinforce his teaching
The checkpoint questions at the end of each chapter were very good to ponder
Great insights
I enjoyed the stories he told to reinforce his teaching
The checkpoint questions at the end of each chapter were very good to ponder
July 26, 2010
What drew me to this book and why I enjoyed it is because it is not a compilation of Elder Hales' talks. Nothing wrong with bundling up several talks given in general conference or at firesides and making a book; I don't see how they have the time to do otherwise. However, I would love to listen to any one of the Brethren share their insight on almost any topic in book form if the book is a single topic, single product instead of a combination of random talks on the same subject.
In this book Elder Hale, in his typical humble manner, shares lessons learned over the years and gives some great specific advice to others who find themselves in one of the four phases of our "mortal journey home" - the two "decades of preparation", the "decade of decision", the decades of "serving and pressing forward", and "serving and enduring to the end".
Specifically some good advice on dating, marrying, and career selection.
In this book Elder Hale, in his typical humble manner, shares lessons learned over the years and gives some great specific advice to others who find themselves in one of the four phases of our "mortal journey home" - the two "decades of preparation", the "decade of decision", the decades of "serving and pressing forward", and "serving and enduring to the end".
Specifically some good advice on dating, marrying, and career selection.
February 23, 2016
From the flap: "'Return with honor' is a call that has become familiar to every Latter-day Saint. For Elder Robert D. Hales, this stirring directive was his unit's motto when he served as a jet fighter pilot in the U. S. Air Force, and he uses it often in his teaching. During his military days, the motto was a constant and powerful reminder to complete each mission honorably - and now it reminds us, the Lord's children, that what we do on earth can make it possible to return with honor to our heavenly home.
"A beloved member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Elder Hales writes with keen insight and compassion about the orderly preparations we need to make as we travel through mortality. Our journey of life has four vital stages:
Decades of preparation
Decade of decision
Decades of serving and pressing forward
Decades of serving and enduring to the end..."
"A beloved member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Elder Hales writes with keen insight and compassion about the orderly preparations we need to make as we travel through mortality. Our journey of life has four vital stages:
Decades of preparation
Decade of decision
Decades of serving and pressing forward
Decades of serving and enduring to the end..."
June 9, 2011
This was a great book. I only wish that I had my own copy instead of borrowing it from the library. I think this would be better read over time so that more attention and time can be given to each topic. It started to get a little long when I had to read it in a short amount of time. I was expecting it to read more like a novel but I would consider it a reference book. I loved how this book can apply to everyone. It made me grateful for the experiences I have had in my past, excited for things to come in the future, and motivated to be better in the present. Excellent book. I loved all of the stories from Elder Hales' life and those that he has interacted with. There were several parts of the book that really made me think. I liked how Elder Hales consistently encourages us to be an active participant in everything that we do. Make it count!
August 2, 2010
I was pleasantly surprised by the meat in this book. I was also impressed by the way Elder Hales engaged a few topics that are not typically addressed, like suicide, serving as a bishop, singles and the status of singles wards, and young men who do not serve missions. This book is full of deep and profound gospel insights and interesting stories never before told or related by Elder Hales. I would highly recommend this book to anyone at any stage of life. Elder Hales first book (what a way to start) makes a profound doctrinal, both applied and theoretical, contribution to the Church. I expect that this will begin to be quoted more and more over the years as LDS Church members discover it.
November 21, 2010
I ABSOLUTELY LOVED THIS BOOK!!! It is one I would personally buy and keep next to my bed with a highlighter and pencil!!! It's hard to describe the book except that Elder Hales takes you through every phase of your mortal journey and then some. He tells his own life's experiences - which are enthralling - He gives advice, hope, doctrine and also lovingly reminds us that we are not perfect, but we should strive to be because we want to become like our Savior. It is perfect for youth, parents, grandparents, leaders and even the beginning to pick out pieces to share with your kids!!! I hope that EVERYONE will read this book! It was worth all the money in late fees from the library. to finish it :) I shoulda just bought it :)
November 2, 2012
Wonderful book, filled with personal stories and insight from a great man. As it progresses through the stages of life, I felt a little strange reading advice for the years I've already passed through, focused on my current stage (for which I felt like he had the least to say), and intrigued by his thoughts on the later years and particularly the end of mortal life. Great counsel for any age reader. I would say that it would be most valuable for those who are youngest but I wonder how many of them would have the patience to read it.
July 20, 2017
This book is a masterpiece written by someone who I consider to be a spiritual giant. I loved it and I benefited greatly from reading it.
January 15, 2025
It is an embarrassment that it took me close to six years to read this book. That definitely says more about my lack of stamina reading non-fiction books more than it says about Elder Robert D. Hales book, Return.
I liked the concept of diving deeper into the different epochs of our mortal journey and how we can maximize spiritual growth at any point on the winding path of life. I loved that he finished with his testimony of the Savior, and the overarching role He plays in our spiritual survival and success.
A great book for anyone who wants help with developing a skill for introspection and wants words of encouragement as we navigate life as disciples of Jesus Christ.
I liked the concept of diving deeper into the different epochs of our mortal journey and how we can maximize spiritual growth at any point on the winding path of life. I loved that he finished with his testimony of the Savior, and the overarching role He plays in our spiritual survival and success.
A great book for anyone who wants help with developing a skill for introspection and wants words of encouragement as we navigate life as disciples of Jesus Christ.
October 1, 2018
When I knew that an empty nest was around the corner I searched for a book that talked about what was next in a spiritual context. I found this book somewhere and it sat on my shelf for a few years. Little did I know how much my life would change before I ever picked it up. I finally got to it this summer and I have savored every page as I read it on Sundays once I had finished the Ensign each month. This is a wonderful book and I highly recommend it. It made me miss Elder Hales so much. I will definitely be going back and reading his old Conference addresses.
December 24, 2023
Elder Hales book goes through the four stages of life, the Decades of Preparation, the
Decade of Decision, the
Decades of Serving and Pressing Forward, and the
Decades of Serving and Enduring to the End.
He likens many doctrinal experiences to his time as a military pilot. My favorite parts were how to make decisions, how important it is to be a lifelong learner, humbly accepting the Lord's will, and learning to hear Him (personal revelation) through the scriptures.
Decade of Decision, the
Decades of Serving and Pressing Forward, and the
Decades of Serving and Enduring to the End.
He likens many doctrinal experiences to his time as a military pilot. My favorite parts were how to make decisions, how important it is to be a lifelong learner, humbly accepting the Lord's will, and learning to hear Him (personal revelation) through the scriptures.
January 28, 2018
Actually this was a re-read, but it was wonderful to read it again. The personal life experiences helped to make it even more relevant. I loved the questions he has you ask yourself at the end of each chapter. Since I am in the final decade I found this portion especially interesting.
December 15, 2017
I really enjoy Elder Hales’s soft-spoken manner. A little dry in places, but really a good read.
June 15, 2019
This book contains wise counsel from one of the Lord's faithful and humble servants. I found it well worth my time to read and ponder.
October 30, 2019
one of the best books I have read this year
January 20, 2020
Though not flashy, this book was very inspirational and needed for our time. My husband and I read it together and enjoyed the messages he shared throughout.
September 4, 2023
LAST BOOK FROM DAD'S LIST
August 9, 2010
This is a wonderful book by Elder Hales going through the different decades in our lives and how best to focus on an eternal perspective with each phase. He relates wonderful stories from his life and unlike some of the other recent books published by apostles this is not a reiteration of previous talks. I would recommend it to everyone. While it is a 425 page book don't let the size deter you - it is broken into short segments within each chapter that you could select from in any order you wish without detracting from the flow of the book. I particularly enjoyed the sections on marriage, family, and missionary service.
April 25, 2011
There's some gold in this book. It lays things out simply and clearly, with verses that stray from the scripture mastery, and the checkpoint questions at the end of each chapter are certainly worthy of asking and pondering over. However, in covering every phase of life, it may be difficult to find a reader who is the proper audience for the entire book. Each of the four sections could probably be th marketed as their own book. I found great insight from the second and third sections, found some curiosities and satisfied in the final section. But that was after struggling through the first section which simply wasn't intended to be read by somebody at the point of the journey that I'm at.
September 4, 2011
Elder Hales walks you through the great goals and achievements each phase of your life should include. It is well written and it contains a lot of stories from his life to illustrate the points he makes.
One of my all time favorite stories from Elder Hales is after years of paying his dues, being a poor student, working his way up the company, and finally landing as CEO of Gillette, he buys his wife an extravagant fur coat. When he gives it to her she asks, "Did you buy this coat for me or for you?"
To me Elder Hales has always been the practical Apostle. Lots of temporal lessons, as well as spiritual, in this one.
One of my all time favorite stories from Elder Hales is after years of paying his dues, being a poor student, working his way up the company, and finally landing as CEO of Gillette, he buys his wife an extravagant fur coat. When he gives it to her she asks, "Did you buy this coat for me or for you?"
To me Elder Hales has always been the practical Apostle. Lots of temporal lessons, as well as spiritual, in this one.
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August 9, 2020Elder Hales does a wonderful job of combining stories from his own life to teach important and powerful lessons about daily, gospel living. The stories were interesting and varied from tales of being a fighter pilot to serving in various church callings to trying to become a Major League Baseball star. There was a nice balance between sincerity, humility, conviction and humor.
I also appreciated how he shared several experiences that highlighted weaknesses within himself. It truly helped me feel like I could see Elder Hales as an individual, imperfect man but in a way that made me hopeful that self-improvement and true progression is indeed possible.
I also appreciated how he shared several experiences that highlighted weaknesses within himself. It truly helped me feel like I could see Elder Hales as an individual, imperfect man but in a way that made me hopeful that self-improvement and true progression is indeed possible.
November 24, 2010
I would classify this as a "practical guide." Elder Hales kept my interest throughout the book, and his insights were spot on. Not surprisingly, there is nothing new in this book -- but he clarifies several gospel principles from his own perspective. I was understandably drawn to the section related to marriage and family but saw how others might connect with other sections of the book. I also saw glimpses of my own life in his anecdotes and brief stories. I think I would place this next to "Faith Precedes the Miracle" and "The Holy Temple" on the shelf of my virtual gospel library.
December 21, 2010
This one took me a long time to get through- each chapter was a wealth of information that I wanted to ponder over before moving on to the next chapter. I bought this book as a gift, but once I started it, I never got around to giving it away! (this happens to me more often than I care to admit) I learned so much from this book. I got some great ideas for connecting with my kids and for strengthening my relationship with Jesus Christ. The book goes through the four phases of mortality, and will have a section relavent to anyone in any stage of life. Highly reccomended.
May 5, 2011
Very, very good. I loved Elder Hales's stories and thought he related them very well to the principle he was presenting. I also really liked that he integrated scripture into the narrative (as you would expect), but oftentimes used scriptures I wouldn't have thought of or wasn't very familiar with. The book is generally about our mortal journey, so there's something for everyone. He also put a checklist at the end of each chapter to help you reflect on how well you are applying certain principles in your life.
February 18, 2015
This book is the best book I have read in a long time! Not only because of the contents, but because of how I felt while i was reading. it was a very calm, and peaceful feeling. A lot of church doctrine topics that I didn't fully understand before suddenly made perfect sense. The writing was very natural, and the questions at the end of each chapter helped to encourage further contemplation and study. I will for sure be reading this book again in the future and will encourage my children to do so as well.
August 8, 2013
Seldom have I felt tempted to reread a book but after looking through some old journal posts from 2011, I realized that “Return: Four Phases of our Mortal Journey Home” needed to be revisited. This is the only book of Elder Hales that I’ve read but I would highly recommend it to everyone because it encompasses every possible topic and speaks to men and women of all ages and in all circumstances. My copy is highlighted with notes all over it! If you haven’t read it…I would suggest you place this book on top of your “to read” list.
January 3, 2014
I wasn't too sure I would like this book. It started off a little slow and I was tempted to call it quits. I am certainly glad I did not. It was a delightful book. I love the way it was laid out and the stories and doctrine he shares are very motivating and inspiring. I would recommend it to anyone. It is easy to Elder Hales (and the other leaders of the church) as just an old soft-spoken man who cannot relate to my life and trials. It was neat to learn a little bit about his life and the experiences and lessons that have prepared him to be an apostle of Jesus Christ.
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