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Jumping through Fires: The Gripping Story of One Man's Escape from Revolution to Redemption
Religion has left an undeniable mark in our world. Some see it as the answer to every problem, while others see it as the problem itself. Simply put, religion is the single greatest force in history. But in a much more intimate sense, what does religion mean to one life?
In this honest, suspenseful, and moving memoir, author David Nasser tells of a life filled with heartbreak and healing. Forced to escape from a country gripped in a religious revolution, David and his family run for their lives in an attempt to find refuge. Through the lens of a terrified boy we see the destructive power of religion and the pull of peer pressure as he tries to fit into a new culture.
Nasser's raw and transparent account of his transition from hating religion to having a living faith in Christ will impact readers from across the religious spectrum. His unflinchingly honest, yet humorous, assessment of the church from an outsider's point of view will both enlighten readers and spur them to renewed and refined outreach.
For anyone who has seen the lie of religion, whether in Iran or Alabama or anywhere in between, Nasser offers the truth of Jesus.
In this honest, suspenseful, and moving memoir, author David Nasser tells of a life filled with heartbreak and healing. Forced to escape from a country gripped in a religious revolution, David and his family run for their lives in an attempt to find refuge. Through the lens of a terrified boy we see the destructive power of religion and the pull of peer pressure as he tries to fit into a new culture.
Nasser's raw and transparent account of his transition from hating religion to having a living faith in Christ will impact readers from across the religious spectrum. His unflinchingly honest, yet humorous, assessment of the church from an outsider's point of view will both enlighten readers and spur them to renewed and refined outreach.
For anyone who has seen the lie of religion, whether in Iran or Alabama or anywhere in between, Nasser offers the truth of Jesus.
172 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 1, 2009
193 people are currently reading
1161 people want to read
About the author
David Nasser
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 178 reviews
September 30, 2009
Well, it's Friday morning, and I don't have a new husband. In fact, my existing husband's first words to me this morning were: "You're a real piece of work, you know that?"
Granted, I'm stressing to finish three book reviews before we take off for the weekend camping trip, and I really should be packing so we can get out of here as soon as possible. So maybe he's justified. And I'd better get moving!
But the point is, Have a New Husband by Friday isn't a miracle-working book. You can't place your order and get the exact husband you want in five days. Not without doing some significant work and changing of yourself, first...
The Author
Dr. Kevin Leman is a psychologist, humorist, and New York Times bestselling author. He is internationally known for his wit and commonsense psychology, and previous books include Have a New Kid by Friday, Turn Up the Heat, and Sheet Music. He is also the founder and president of Couples of Promise, an organization committed to helping couples remain happily married. You can find out more about Dr. Leman at his website.
An Overview
This book promises to show you as a wife how to change your husband's attitude, behavior, and communication in five days.
Let me let you in on a little secret - the change starts with you. If you change you, your husband will change as a side effect.
There are five different areas the book focuses on; one for each day between Monday and Friday. First, understand your husband's needs. Then, get to know him; what his background was like; what makes him tick. Show him some respect. Learn how to effectively communicate with him. Learn what rewards or motivates him. And finally, learn how to put him first.
Pretty simple and straightforward, huh? The book is chock-full of examples to illustrate the principles. And while the author is very much a proponent of working on even the most hopeless of marriages, there is also a section for those who may be suffering abuse in their marriage and how to deal with or get out of it.
As Dr. Leman says, "making changes in your marriage isn't easy, but it's simple. It all starts with you, and your motivation and desire to make things work in your marriage."
My Review
Every husband (and wife) is unique, so not every strategy in this book will work with every husband. I think Dr. Leman recognizes that. However, while I may not have a new husband yet, I certainly have a lot to think about and things to work on... Give me a year or two and I'll give you a better review of how the strategies in this book work!
I actually appreciate the five day approach; it seems much more doable from the get-go than a 40-day challenge. I intend to read this book again and do a better job of applying the principles in it this time around... In fact, this is a book I need to keep on my bedside table and read again and again until it becomes a part of me.
Dr. Leman's style of writing is very easy to read, injected with humor, and with examples to keep you engaged. He also leaves you with action items, so you're motivated to apply what you've read. And the male perspective is perfect for this book!
I'd say this is a must-read if you would like to get more out of your marriage but are not sure where or how to start.
Granted, I'm stressing to finish three book reviews before we take off for the weekend camping trip, and I really should be packing so we can get out of here as soon as possible. So maybe he's justified. And I'd better get moving!
But the point is, Have a New Husband by Friday isn't a miracle-working book. You can't place your order and get the exact husband you want in five days. Not without doing some significant work and changing of yourself, first...
The Author
Dr. Kevin Leman is a psychologist, humorist, and New York Times bestselling author. He is internationally known for his wit and commonsense psychology, and previous books include Have a New Kid by Friday, Turn Up the Heat, and Sheet Music. He is also the founder and president of Couples of Promise, an organization committed to helping couples remain happily married. You can find out more about Dr. Leman at his website.
An Overview
This book promises to show you as a wife how to change your husband's attitude, behavior, and communication in five days.
Let me let you in on a little secret - the change starts with you. If you change you, your husband will change as a side effect.
There are five different areas the book focuses on; one for each day between Monday and Friday. First, understand your husband's needs. Then, get to know him; what his background was like; what makes him tick. Show him some respect. Learn how to effectively communicate with him. Learn what rewards or motivates him. And finally, learn how to put him first.
Pretty simple and straightforward, huh? The book is chock-full of examples to illustrate the principles. And while the author is very much a proponent of working on even the most hopeless of marriages, there is also a section for those who may be suffering abuse in their marriage and how to deal with or get out of it.
As Dr. Leman says, "making changes in your marriage isn't easy, but it's simple. It all starts with you, and your motivation and desire to make things work in your marriage."
My Review
Every husband (and wife) is unique, so not every strategy in this book will work with every husband. I think Dr. Leman recognizes that. However, while I may not have a new husband yet, I certainly have a lot to think about and things to work on... Give me a year or two and I'll give you a better review of how the strategies in this book work!
I actually appreciate the five day approach; it seems much more doable from the get-go than a 40-day challenge. I intend to read this book again and do a better job of applying the principles in it this time around... In fact, this is a book I need to keep on my bedside table and read again and again until it becomes a part of me.
Dr. Leman's style of writing is very easy to read, injected with humor, and with examples to keep you engaged. He also leaves you with action items, so you're motivated to apply what you've read. And the male perspective is perfect for this book!
I'd say this is a must-read if you would like to get more out of your marriage but are not sure where or how to start.
April 3, 2011
This book is typical. Basically it states that the problems in the marriage are all the wives fault. Men hold only a small part of the blame. We have no right to the money because he is to make all those decisions for us. If we dare to be independent enough to solve our own problems we are telling him that he is too stupid to solve them for us and we do not really need him. We are to be completely dependent on him asking him how we are to fix our problems or having him fix them for us, asking him what is the best way to spend his money because we are incapable of spending the money properly. When we are aloud to leave his house without him. Why we are to blame for us unfaithful behavior. ie we are a bad wife who didn't have sex with him every single time he wanted it. How his needs are vastly important so important that everything else does not matter because we are to be dropping all we are doing for his needs to be met first at all times. While at the same time giving him all the time in the world to fulfill even one of our needs because he can only do one thing at a time and it will take him much longer to get around to our needs. We are to always make his priorities our priorities while he will never make our priorities his because ours are no where near as important as his. He can tell us what to do because lets face it we must be ordered around we may screw up. If he is abusive its all his mothers fault even though dad was the abuser. Men do not learn how to be men from men but from women. So therefore its again a woman's fault and not the mans faults. Men will only do for us once he is guaranteed sex in return he must always be rewarded for doing anything for us while we should never expect to be thanked for what we do for him. Men know how to make a mess but at the same time incapable of seeing the mess he left behind. So we must at all times point out the mess he made and ask him if he would take time out of his sports watching wife ignoring time to pick up after himself. Which would be simpler to just do it yourself because sports come first. We must tell him where to we want to go and when he takes us to his favorite restaurant we must be happy even though he is basically taking himself out and just allowing us to come along for the ride.
I do not think its disrespectful to ask him what he spent money on especially if we are making money also. Just because women have decided what to cook him for supper does not mean we never think about money issues. It doesn't mean we are incapable of making good decisions. If it affects us we should have the right to know where it is going. A woman who completely trusts her husband and has no right to know often gets hurt. I am sorry but not knowing where it goes does not protect the wife from the consequences. Studies prove that men are more impulsive spenders than women. Women have proven that they are capable of making good decisions. If you actually think your wife is intelligent why do you only allow her to make mundane decisions like what to cook for supper while you make all the important decisions.
Sex may be important but it is not THE MOST important thing in the marriage. If you aren't getting enough I can guarantee you that something else besides that is wrong with your marriage. Sex does not solve problems it ignores problems. Its like chocolate you will not have a better opinion of yourself after eating chocolate. Its a lie we tell ourselves. I think both parties are equally at fault for marriage problems. If someone cheats it solely their fault not the other person. The other person only holds blame for their own failures in the marriage not the blame for the others inconsiderate mistakes. Cheating is completely selfish and inconsiderate.
I do not think its disrespectful to ask him what he spent money on especially if we are making money also. Just because women have decided what to cook him for supper does not mean we never think about money issues. It doesn't mean we are incapable of making good decisions. If it affects us we should have the right to know where it is going. A woman who completely trusts her husband and has no right to know often gets hurt. I am sorry but not knowing where it goes does not protect the wife from the consequences. Studies prove that men are more impulsive spenders than women. Women have proven that they are capable of making good decisions. If you actually think your wife is intelligent why do you only allow her to make mundane decisions like what to cook for supper while you make all the important decisions.
Sex may be important but it is not THE MOST important thing in the marriage. If you aren't getting enough I can guarantee you that something else besides that is wrong with your marriage. Sex does not solve problems it ignores problems. Its like chocolate you will not have a better opinion of yourself after eating chocolate. Its a lie we tell ourselves. I think both parties are equally at fault for marriage problems. If someone cheats it solely their fault not the other person. The other person only holds blame for their own failures in the marriage not the blame for the others inconsiderate mistakes. Cheating is completely selfish and inconsiderate.
July 28, 2010
This book was picked up by my husband at the library while I was quickly picking out a bunch of books. He gave it to me as a joke. I think he was disappointed when I said, "oh sure I'll read that too." What I learned real quick as I was reading is that I have an amazing husband. He is not an atypical male which I am grateful for because it makes it easy for me to understand him. I did learn a few things about relationships in general and found that I need to rethink the way I am interacting with my 10 year old son...he is all boy and so different than his Dad (at least as a ten year old). I also think it gave me a better perspective on the males species in general which in turn can help me with other male relationships that I care about like my brothers and brotherinlaws etc. By the way, this book is all about things you can do that help affect the way others act and gives examples of why men think the way they do. I think that is a fun philosophy especially for those that like being in control. The other thing I liked about this book is that it explains some of the differences of why men do the things they do w/out putting a negative light on it. I think this book would be very enlightening to many people and probably a great book to read before you get married. :)
March 10, 2010
I started out really liking the voice of this book, thinking "I need to read this to my kids", but then it descended into the Jesus loves you morass and never recovered. The icing on the cake is when his mother surgery and was touch and go and only when his father prayed to Jesus (after being stubbornly Islamic) did his mother pull through and they all lived happily every after. Maybe your cup of tea, but not mine.
December 29, 2009
Sometimes marital relations are complicated, and sometimes they are not.
If you need to get into what I call the tertiary psychological B.S. level, this isn't for you.
If you are a basically normal person with a normal level of neuroses and baggage, and if your significant other is likewise, and if things aren't so hot between you, try this one.
It boils men down into the simple creatures we are. It helps their women change their behavior, mostly by treating them as if they are men.
Step One: discard your unreasonable expectations. He is not your girlfriend. He is not a mind reader. He is not a knight in shining armor. He is a man, one who wants to please you.
Step Two: give him what he needs. It's not what you need, it's what he needs.
Step Three: be firm, be consistent, reward him when he does well, correct him when he does not.
It's a lot like Cesar Millan, but with very proper modifications for homo sapiens.
As a guy, it rings very true. I'm oversimplifying the book, but the book is a bit of an oversimplification too. But, sometimes marital relations are not complicated.
I wish Leman spent more time on the communication aspects of a relationship. Men and women should share information with each other, and give each other feedback... Leman would say men are incapable of this; what he may mean is men and women have different vocabularies, and women have as much trouble understanding men's as vice versa.
If you need to get into what I call the tertiary psychological B.S. level, this isn't for you.
If you are a basically normal person with a normal level of neuroses and baggage, and if your significant other is likewise, and if things aren't so hot between you, try this one.
It boils men down into the simple creatures we are. It helps their women change their behavior, mostly by treating them as if they are men.
Step One: discard your unreasonable expectations. He is not your girlfriend. He is not a mind reader. He is not a knight in shining armor. He is a man, one who wants to please you.
Step Two: give him what he needs. It's not what you need, it's what he needs.
Step Three: be firm, be consistent, reward him when he does well, correct him when he does not.
It's a lot like Cesar Millan, but with very proper modifications for homo sapiens.
As a guy, it rings very true. I'm oversimplifying the book, but the book is a bit of an oversimplification too. But, sometimes marital relations are not complicated.
I wish Leman spent more time on the communication aspects of a relationship. Men and women should share information with each other, and give each other feedback... Leman would say men are incapable of this; what he may mean is men and women have different vocabularies, and women have as much trouble understanding men's as vice versa.
August 2, 2011
Memoir of an Iranian-American who left Iran with his family as a young boy during the Revolution to escape the internal conflict in his home country. His family sought refuge in the United States during a time when being Iranian was very unpopular. Interesting historical and cultural context that touches on the rise and fall of the Shah and the role the US government played in the years preceding and following the unrest. The author offers us his perspective of trying to assimilate into American culture as a child and then teenager and provides insight on being born Muslim but eventually becoming a Christ follower in America. This easy quick read offers deeper lessons and unique views on coming of age in a country not your own and finding new life both literally and spiritually. Great story. Challenges and inspires me to live a life that shines and offers light to others that they might see and know Christ.
April 25, 2012
Disclaimer-I intended to order the book 'Have a New Teenager by Friday' from this author from our library. (The author was on tv discussing the book and I have a teenage daughter that sometimes brings me to the end of my rope. )I accidentally ordered this book and decided to read it-after having a good laugh about it with my husband and leaving it out for him to see daily.... ;>).
While I don't doubt that some of his techniques might make for harmony-I feel like it comes at the expense of the wife and her needs/wants. I do agree that the things he lists as what men want in a relationship are probably true...however, the compromise, in the author's opinion comes almost entirely from the wife.
While I don't doubt that some of his techniques might make for harmony-I feel like it comes at the expense of the wife and her needs/wants. I do agree that the things he lists as what men want in a relationship are probably true...however, the compromise, in the author's opinion comes almost entirely from the wife.
April 10, 2010
Did you know men like sex?
And are oblivious to new haircuts?
Yes, I knew that too.
I get that men and women are different but this seemed turn a pamphlet into a book.
The key to having a new husband by Friday is to be a better wife.
Rules
Don’t treat your husband like your girlfriend.
Never ask why. It destroys a man’s trust.
Avoid using terms like Always and Never. (Yes, I do get the irony of #3 contradicting #2.)
If you notice for a guy to notice something, you’ll be waiting a long time.
Learn to respond, not to react.
Have lots of sex.
While I loved Leman’s The Birth Order Book, the more I read of Leman, the less I like him.
And are oblivious to new haircuts?
Yes, I knew that too.
I get that men and women are different but this seemed turn a pamphlet into a book.
The key to having a new husband by Friday is to be a better wife.
Rules
Don’t treat your husband like your girlfriend.
Never ask why. It destroys a man’s trust.
Avoid using terms like Always and Never. (Yes, I do get the irony of #3 contradicting #2.)
If you notice for a guy to notice something, you’ll be waiting a long time.
Learn to respond, not to react.
Have lots of sex.
While I loved Leman’s The Birth Order Book, the more I read of Leman, the less I like him.
July 2, 2016
It starts out with David Nasser attempting to explain the 1979 revolution of Iran.
Oh boy.
Trying to explain concepts in the Middle-East to outsiders is like trying to explain certain aspects of America to outsiders. "Yeah, like, America totally has freedom. We can vote for our president. What? Well, yeah. We have electoral colleges. So? Oh. But, I mean..."
Whether it be the invasion of the Taliban, the difference between the two sects of Islam, or even the current state of Lebanon, it can get confusing really quickly.
So, although I appreciate Nasser's trying, I found it somewhat biased. Nasser thought that the revolution was happening because of zealots' idea of Islam; in reality, the revolution did not start out with that intention at all. The SAVAK (Iran's version of FBI except with the reputation of a brutal torture group who served Iranian officials and suppressed anyone anti-Shah) basically made it so the people's only meeting place was the mosque. With Khomeini, a man who became the people's George Washington (a man who opposed the current government and had new ideas that the masses agreed with, and would eventually sort of run the new government and was basically the revolution's spokesmodel), having the interpretation of the Quran as it was, did draw the religious fanatics out. Of course, the man was a kid back then. He didn't understand any of this.
His family was obviously pro-Shah, even wearing black the day he died. That gives you a pro-Shah view. Just saying.
Also, the writing and I had a love-hate relationship. Little grammatical mistakes or repetitiveness would throw me off, only to loop me back in with a really nice metaphor. What can I say? The misfortune of being a stickler poet. #Foreveraloneinmyrants
The voice itself was relatable to many. A very clean narration behind it. Humorous and fresh, although the dialogue felt a tad forced. I could not imagine an early adult saying, "Save me from my sins, from my excuses, from bad religion. From my own agenda. From trying to live life on my own terms. Save me from all of it. Save me from myself." It seems like a script a pastor would give you. My prayer of salvation was filled with sobbing and things other people would find funny, but I didn't. It didn't help that just a little earlier, this same adult, who was really in his late teens, was saying things like, "How the %*@ are you, bro?"
The story was lovely, and satisfying. There is a super-everything's-so-wonderful ending, but what do you expect reading Christian literature? And it had this full-circle kind of vibe, and it left the reader feeling super-everything's-so-wonderful. The characters were likable, and it's fast-paced for sure.
There is some misadvertisement with this "Former Muslim" business. At most, he was a nominal Muslim maybe-depends-who's-asking.
The morales were basically centering on the downfall of self-worship and how God answers. It's also anti-racism, a theme Christian books do not expound upon enough. I honestly recommend this for anyone the age of twelve and up, something I can hardly say with many, many theology books that take a hammer and play golf with my brain. Including the Bible. If I can understand and get into this book, that's saying something. So kudos to Nasser for writing a book I can follow but still lies under "Christian Literature."
All in all, I liked it. My friend loved the story, and so would most. It's a feel-good read that has a revolution, a high school, a relative of Elvis, and parking lots. What more can you want?
Oh boy.
Trying to explain concepts in the Middle-East to outsiders is like trying to explain certain aspects of America to outsiders. "Yeah, like, America totally has freedom. We can vote for our president. What? Well, yeah. We have electoral colleges. So? Oh. But, I mean..."
Whether it be the invasion of the Taliban, the difference between the two sects of Islam, or even the current state of Lebanon, it can get confusing really quickly.
So, although I appreciate Nasser's trying, I found it somewhat biased. Nasser thought that the revolution was happening because of zealots' idea of Islam; in reality, the revolution did not start out with that intention at all. The SAVAK (Iran's version of FBI except with the reputation of a brutal torture group who served Iranian officials and suppressed anyone anti-Shah) basically made it so the people's only meeting place was the mosque. With Khomeini, a man who became the people's George Washington (a man who opposed the current government and had new ideas that the masses agreed with, and would eventually sort of run the new government and was basically the revolution's spokesmodel), having the interpretation of the Quran as it was, did draw the religious fanatics out. Of course, the man was a kid back then. He didn't understand any of this.
His family was obviously pro-Shah, even wearing black the day he died. That gives you a pro-Shah view. Just saying.
Also, the writing and I had a love-hate relationship. Little grammatical mistakes or repetitiveness would throw me off, only to loop me back in with a really nice metaphor. What can I say? The misfortune of being a stickler poet. #Foreveraloneinmyrants
The voice itself was relatable to many. A very clean narration behind it. Humorous and fresh, although the dialogue felt a tad forced. I could not imagine an early adult saying, "Save me from my sins, from my excuses, from bad religion. From my own agenda. From trying to live life on my own terms. Save me from all of it. Save me from myself." It seems like a script a pastor would give you. My prayer of salvation was filled with sobbing and things other people would find funny, but I didn't. It didn't help that just a little earlier, this same adult, who was really in his late teens, was saying things like, "How the %*@ are you, bro?"
The story was lovely, and satisfying. There is a super-everything's-so-wonderful ending, but what do you expect reading Christian literature? And it had this full-circle kind of vibe, and it left the reader feeling super-everything's-so-wonderful. The characters were likable, and it's fast-paced for sure.
There is some misadvertisement with this "Former Muslim" business. At most, he was a nominal Muslim maybe-depends-who's-asking.
The morales were basically centering on the downfall of self-worship and how God answers. It's also anti-racism, a theme Christian books do not expound upon enough. I honestly recommend this for anyone the age of twelve and up, something I can hardly say with many, many theology books that take a hammer and play golf with my brain. Including the Bible. If I can understand and get into this book, that's saying something. So kudos to Nasser for writing a book I can follow but still lies under "Christian Literature."
All in all, I liked it. My friend loved the story, and so would most. It's a feel-good read that has a revolution, a high school, a relative of Elvis, and parking lots. What more can you want?
February 22, 2010
This book had a lot of good advice for women who want to change their relationship with their husbands. My only beef with it is that the author seems to take for granted that every man is the same simple minded hormone driven creature (I'm sure that's not how he meant it... but that's how it came across.) Although I like a lot of his ideas it felt like he was giving men a free ride to just "be men" while having women do most of the changing- in the way we relate, communicate, act, etc. I'm not saying that we couldn't use some of his advice, just that men should be expected to reach beyond what comes naturally to them also.
April 19, 2010
I have to agree with another reader - the title should be something like "How to Be a Better Wife" and while it raises some valid points - yes men like sex and probably want more than you are giving him, it is very simplistic in its outlook and I'm not sure it gives men quite enough credit, men are largely reduced to stereotypes. It also puts almost the entire onus for the emotional health of the marriage on the wife and while I whole heartedly believe in supporting and respecting my husband I do expect the same in return.
It makes interesting reading, another way to look at your relationship but I wouldn't take it too seriously.
It makes interesting reading, another way to look at your relationship but I wouldn't take it too seriously.
September 10, 2010
Nassar is both funny and insightful as he writes about growing up. The cover leads you to believe the story is largely about his family's escape from Iran during the revolution in the 70's, but that's really just the beginning. It's certainly an interesting part of the story (and an interesting look at the political situation in Iran at the time), but Nassar is a lot more concerned about his own development as an adolescent. With humour and wise insight, he uses his life to show that Christianity is about hope and growth and moving forward - jumping through fires because we trust the God whose hand we hold.
July 7, 2023
I’d rate as 3.5. Beautiful story of redemption in more ways than one. Lots of sweet reminders of God’s goodness/trustworthiness/love through all circumstances. Timeline was not clear-cut (jumped back and forth a good bit but I managed to follow). I would have liked him to touch more on the period of his life where he was learning about submitting to church authority and what a healthy way of living that out looks like. Nevertheless, still an inspiring and encouraging story that I will treasure in my heart.
September 1, 2010
Found this book encouraging and very practical. If you are interested in keeping your pride more than you are in improving your marriage, don't read this book.
Leman puts forward how the male mind works in contrast to us (females) and explains with humor everything from how sex to respect is so extremely important to men and how to "speak man" so that he will hear us!
It's a great read but sobering also. Be prepared to look at yourself as much as you try to figure out your husband.
Leman puts forward how the male mind works in contrast to us (females) and explains with humor everything from how sex to respect is so extremely important to men and how to "speak man" so that he will hear us!
It's a great read but sobering also. Be prepared to look at yourself as much as you try to figure out your husband.
January 31, 2016
I've read Dr. Leman before, and love his humorous and gentle way of teaching. Of course, getting a new husband has nothing to do with changing our men, but in changing OURSELVES and how we treat our husbands. I've noticed a difference already and need to read books like this occassionally to be inspired to be a better wife. That role of mine so often gets put on the back burner and that's a real shame. But I'm inspired to do better now and recommend this book to ALL WIVES and wives to be.
July 26, 2024
This was really good! David Nasser is a Christian speaker at our church! He is a really good speaker! I love hearing about him! He talks about being Iranian! He is a God, Jesus loving man! This book was about him growing up in Iran and converting to Christianity! Such a great read! Hope to see him again soon at Northridge Church!!!
September 28, 2014
Dr. Kevin Leman would have me believe that all men are "dumber than mud." I just don't buy it! I will concede that women should not expect men to be mind readers and that men and women are wired differently, so women shouldn't expect a man to act like her girlfriend. However, I believe that men are intelligent creatures uniquely designed by the Author of Life. You may not be created to be multi-taskers, but you are intelligent enough to know that if the garbage needs taken out, it's perfectly acceptable to do it. Dr. Leman would like it to be a women's responsibility to tell her husband every little thing that needs done. His premise is that if I expect less from a man, he'll change.
I think the book is a good read for women, because there are so many of my gender who don't understand that a man is very different from a woman. Dr. Leman does present an accurate appraisal of many of the differences. However, the good Dr. would like me to show men more respect and assume they aren't smart enough to know to pick their socks off the floor.
Men do deserve more respect. Women need to quit nagging and complaining. They need to understand we are created by God to be different, to complement one another and not expect a man to act in a way that a man just wasn't created to act. My fellow females have a responsibility to treat men, and in particular the one she's chosen to be with the rest of her life, with total respect, not some kind of "I'll humor you to make you think you are respected" kind of attitude. I believe that treating any person with more respect will go a long way in helping them live up to their potential.
But gentlemen, if you think I, or any other woman worth having, will buy the "dumber than mud" philosophy of Dr. Leman's book, you're going to have serious problems finding the girl of your dreams. The ones worth having, the ladies who will respect you and not usurp your authority, these gals will expect you to live up to the respect they are willing to give. They won't mind asking you to do something or even reminding you if you ask, but they don't want to marry to have another child around the house, they want a man, a partner whose helpmate they can be, they want a strong, chivalrous leader, not a knave.
Oh, and if anyone thinks that's impossible, you might find it interesting to note, I've married a keeper and know quite a few who would never accept the "dumber than mud" description.
I think the book is a good read for women, because there are so many of my gender who don't understand that a man is very different from a woman. Dr. Leman does present an accurate appraisal of many of the differences. However, the good Dr. would like me to show men more respect and assume they aren't smart enough to know to pick their socks off the floor.
Men do deserve more respect. Women need to quit nagging and complaining. They need to understand we are created by God to be different, to complement one another and not expect a man to act in a way that a man just wasn't created to act. My fellow females have a responsibility to treat men, and in particular the one she's chosen to be with the rest of her life, with total respect, not some kind of "I'll humor you to make you think you are respected" kind of attitude. I believe that treating any person with more respect will go a long way in helping them live up to their potential.
But gentlemen, if you think I, or any other woman worth having, will buy the "dumber than mud" philosophy of Dr. Leman's book, you're going to have serious problems finding the girl of your dreams. The ones worth having, the ladies who will respect you and not usurp your authority, these gals will expect you to live up to the respect they are willing to give. They won't mind asking you to do something or even reminding you if you ask, but they don't want to marry to have another child around the house, they want a man, a partner whose helpmate they can be, they want a strong, chivalrous leader, not a knave.
Oh, and if anyone thinks that's impossible, you might find it interesting to note, I've married a keeper and know quite a few who would never accept the "dumber than mud" description.
December 22, 2009
Final review: Well, as a First Reads win, this book was a fun read. it wasn't a "change him" book, but moreso a book about helping your relationship grow, and how to grow together as a couple. You really need to take this book lightly though, because the author is very blunt about a lot of things, and others just have you rolling your eyes, but the book as a whole was decent. See below for comments as i updated.
edit:there are alot of things in this book that could have been put into a whole nother book....if i had bought this, i'd be kinda pissed that i paid money for a book that like 1/2 of it doesnt apply to me at all.....it's meant towards the women who are beaten, violated, used, etc by their husbands in the extremest ways...
edit:i gotta admit, i really like his book. yes, the author is exxagetative and blunt to make a point about men, and calls us girls out, but its all relevant, and its all those little things that we do that overtime build up into bad aspects of a relationship. this book is a refresher on how to be a good partner to each other, how to help each other out, how to respect and listen to each other, and above all, have an amazing time, marriage, and life together. The one thing that annoys me though, is all the "letters" to the author throughout the book. I find them unneccesary especially because the author goes much more into the detail of the story in later paragraphs, or even chapters. Can't wait to see what else there is in the book, and help my relationship get even better!
edit: got this book in last night and began it immediately...and whoa. this author is histerical, and basically putting all the work on the women to change....it's one of those: this is how guys are, deal with it kind of books...yet i couldn't put it down. i was reading things aloud to my husband last night and he was cracking up going "this guy knows what he's talking about" (figures...) i'm definitely going to test out some of these suggestions though, i mean, there's nowhere to go but up, and make my relationship even better than it is..definitely worth reading!!!
edit: still have not recieved
wow. just won this book from goodreads. great timing too! read some reviews and i really think i'll like this book bc what im getting is that it's not just about making him change, its changing together....cant wait to receive it!
edit:there are alot of things in this book that could have been put into a whole nother book....if i had bought this, i'd be kinda pissed that i paid money for a book that like 1/2 of it doesnt apply to me at all.....it's meant towards the women who are beaten, violated, used, etc by their husbands in the extremest ways...
edit:i gotta admit, i really like his book. yes, the author is exxagetative and blunt to make a point about men, and calls us girls out, but its all relevant, and its all those little things that we do that overtime build up into bad aspects of a relationship. this book is a refresher on how to be a good partner to each other, how to help each other out, how to respect and listen to each other, and above all, have an amazing time, marriage, and life together. The one thing that annoys me though, is all the "letters" to the author throughout the book. I find them unneccesary especially because the author goes much more into the detail of the story in later paragraphs, or even chapters. Can't wait to see what else there is in the book, and help my relationship get even better!
edit: got this book in last night and began it immediately...and whoa. this author is histerical, and basically putting all the work on the women to change....it's one of those: this is how guys are, deal with it kind of books...yet i couldn't put it down. i was reading things aloud to my husband last night and he was cracking up going "this guy knows what he's talking about" (figures...) i'm definitely going to test out some of these suggestions though, i mean, there's nowhere to go but up, and make my relationship even better than it is..definitely worth reading!!!
edit: still have not recieved
wow. just won this book from goodreads. great timing too! read some reviews and i really think i'll like this book bc what im getting is that it's not just about making him change, its changing together....cant wait to receive it!
October 1, 2010
This was a book I wish I could have taken a month to read. (because it was due back at the library I read it in 2 days). All of it to me was common sense. Of course you should do all these wonderful things to help your husband feel needed, respected, and fulfilled. BUT when I'm reading about it, I do it. It's so much easier, and it had some great ideas. If only I could remember this stuff for a week or two longer...
I would highly recommend it to anyone who's married.
As I read about when divorce is needed, I thought this book wasn't for me, but later realized some women might not know they really should get out of their marriage, and if he didn't put that in there they could really be in trouble. Even if it's just staying with a man who doesn't want to try anymore, or who constantly cheats, lies etc.
I would highly recommend it to anyone who's married.
As I read about when divorce is needed, I thought this book wasn't for me, but later realized some women might not know they really should get out of their marriage, and if he didn't put that in there they could really be in trouble. Even if it's just staying with a man who doesn't want to try anymore, or who constantly cheats, lies etc.
February 7, 2017
David Nasser's memoir was a timely read. David came to America at the age of nine as an Iranian political refugee. He shares his story of leaving Iran during the Iranian Revolution, to living in Germany during the Iranian Hostage Crisis, to finally finding refuge in the state of Texas. From there he tells of his rocky life back and forth between Texas and Alabama, going from a geek to cool drug dealer, from Muslim to Southern Baptist preacher. David beautifully shares his wild life of transition between cultures, how and Islamic extremist holding a gun to his head as a child inspired an early hatred of religion, how he became one of the things he hates about religion and Christianity, how he met his wife, the story behind his ministry, and personal family struggles. It was an all around great and easy read, and I'd recommend it to everyone.
October 31, 2020
OKAY - not that I have like the best judgement on books or anything like that - I mean I barely read - BUT this was ehhhhhh, just okay. easy to read as I said on my last update but i think the writing and overall story line was aimed at middle schoolers exploring their faith. WHICH IS A goooood thing !! Maybe I just expected more because it advertised itself as a “gripping tale” - some quotable moments, laughable moments (good and bad), and some downright cringey moments for sure. Truly like a very over-winded testimony, and that’s the most honest way I can put it.
I had it at 2 stars but just moved it up to 3 because I do think the right audience can learn a lot from it.
I just don’t think anyone reading this review right now is the right audience.
I had it at 2 stars but just moved it up to 3 because I do think the right audience can learn a lot from it.
I just don’t think anyone reading this review right now is the right audience.
July 16, 2010
You are not going to change anyone except yourself. Which is a good thing. Just know that your husband will not turn into someone else. I recommend this to anyone who is even the slightest bit annoyed with their spouse. There are helpful hints and most of it is just common sense. Think about your actions and words.
This book does NOT have the helpful reference section like the "kid" version of this, but it isn't needed.
This book does NOT have the helpful reference section like the "kid" version of this, but it isn't needed.
January 24, 2012
I've read this book twice; most recently finishing it earlier this month (Jan. 2012). You've got to know how to take something with a grain of salt in order to get the message here but it's well worth it. It has been very helpful to me in understanding what my husband needs from me and has made a difference in how I approach him and how I respond to him. In turn, our relationship has improved immensely. Highly recommended!
September 21, 2012
To be fair, I did not start with a husband. In fact, I may be done with husbands altogether—the jury's still out on that one. But if I ever get one, and the stuff in this book is what I need to do to keep him, I'm not going to have him for long. [Read for free on my Kindle. Because...because...oh, some things are destined to remain mysteries wrapped in enigmas, only to be revealed in the cozy confines of a shrink's office.]
June 20, 2017
This story inspired me a lot. I love books involving MB B's, and this one is another good one. It also inspired me to keep going in my relationships with people, even when they're acting tough and spiteful. The people that shared Christ with David were persistent, and in the end, that was what drew him to Christ's love. I recommend this book to those who are working to share Christ and anyone who has an interest in the Middle East, it's history, and it's people.
July 27, 2010
An interesting story of a young Iranian boy's journey to America and becoming a Christian. Simply told and easy to read, he takes one through his journey and discovery. Wonderful to see how Jesus is for everyone, and tenderly draws each person to Himself.
July 14, 2010
Got this book to share with a friend, but decided to read it myself first. So many great points on how women totally don't understand their husbands. A great read if you want to understand the men in your life better.
August 2, 2010
This is a horrible name for a book. It's basically explaining the communication barrier we have as males and females. Very good insight. It doesn't tell you to change them, it tells them to change YOU. Very good.
December 2, 2010
I like the author's style and voice, sense of humor. Confirms many things I've learned but wondered if my husband was the only one....? I'd like to read more of his books. Gives a very positive outlook, Christian outlook on one's commitment to marriage.
January 17, 2012
I really enjoy Dr. Leman's books, and this was no exception. He has such a fun, casual way of writing that it is such a quick read and very entertaining. Good ideas to help strengthen even healthy relationships.
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