Washed Ashore: Family, Fatherhood, and Finding Home on Martha's Vineyard

by Bill Eville

The story of a man coming into his own by coming home.


Since he was a boy, Bill Eville knew he wanted two things in to be a writer and a father. Being a minister’s husband had not been on this list, having left the church as a teenager as soon as his parents stopped making him go each Sunday.



In Washed Ashore , Eville’s life changes when his wife Cathlin takes a job as the first female pastor of a 350-year-old church on Martha’s Vineyard, the island that was once home to generations of his ancestors. With their two small children in tow, the couple begins a new life eight miles out at sea.



Readers follow Eville’s journey from stay-at-home-dad to newspaper editor as he discovers what it means to be a writer, a father, and—after his wife’s devasting breast cancer diagnosis—what it truly means to be a minister’s husband. Washed Ashore , told in a series of linked essays, is poignant and funny, filled with faith, struggle, and light.

Genres: Memoir, Religion

244 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 16, 2023

Reviews

[Roberta Miceli · Rating 5 out of 5]

This man can write!! Loved, loved, loved this book. Full disclosure, I live on Martha's Vineyard and read Bill's column in the Gazette every week so had some idea of what to expect and the book far exceeded my expectations. If I were challenged to pick one of the stories he shares as my favorite, I don't think I could do it. There were so many that I absolutely loved and his shares are vulnerable, relatable, heartfelt and something deeper. I'm not exactly sure what the deeper is - I think it may be his searching, always searching for self.

One of the best books I have read this year - up there with Signal Fires by Dani Shapiro!

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wanted to like this book a lot more than I actually did. There were some things I liked but for the most part felt it was far too religious and preachy for my tastes. I wanted to read more about the Vineyard and less about his wife's church. There were some nice stories about the family and what his wife went through (I won't give it away). And I sure would like to know how his daughter got her nickname!

[Ian Roseen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I could have used LESS: attempts at humor, episodic chapters that felt fairly obvious they were published separately in the Vineyard Gazette (there is not a very solid “through line” to the story here).

And I could’ve used MORE: descriptions of the land, place, and people of Martha’s Vineyard, which was why I bought this when we were on vacation there last month.

But Bill Eville is also a startlingly frank and tender writer. Reading this as someone who is about to become a father myself, I was often taken aback by tears as well as brave admissions of his own shortcomings and cross words to his children—a rare thing even among “honest” memoirs. Reading Eville felt like connecting with a kindred spirit.

[William M. · Rating 5 out of 5]

In the middle of the book, Eville speaks of the writing of Donald Hall as “a companion, someone who has walked this treacherous road and didn’t look away”. For roads treacherous and joyful, sublime and mundane, Eville’s writing in “Washed Ashore” pays this favor forward. Whether it is parenthood or spousedom, Eville’s honest prose is a companion to walk through the inevitable uncertainty, anguish, and simple joy that each brings. Amidst this very human story, he also captures the natural rhythms of Martha’s Vineyard, which is more a prominent setting than a character itself.

[Mikealbo · Rating 4 out of 5]

A beautifully written book. It's refreshing -- in our landscape of memoirs where everyone is trying to one-up the other with their unique style of trauma, it is so refreshing to read about a kind, well adjusted person's emotional journey through life. There is no subterfuge or inner demons or deep seated turmoil here - just a nice person learning what he values and how to live. Loved it!

[Clayton Faulkner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perhaps one of the greatest dad-books ever written.

[Holly Eger · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you’ve been fortunate enough to get to enjoy Bill Eville’s essays in the Vineyard Gazette over the years, reading his new book is a wonderful catch-up with an old friend. Bill Eville is a father and husband who happens to be an uncommonly gentle soul with an innate sense of how to savor the moment. Through his heartfelt essays about life as a “washashore” on Martha’s Vineyard — from stay-at-home dad to editor of the Gazette — he teaches us how to savor, too. This book is about learning to let go and simultaneously hold on. It shows us how to slow down, pay attention, and actually live.

Wallace Stegner used to say, “Hard writing makes easy reading.” The time and love Bill put into crafting each of these essays makes them such quick reading that I wanted to start the book over as soon as I had finished. I loved it, and often found myself laughing out loud while tears trickled down my face.

This collection is precious for nostalgic empty nesters like me, but I think it would be just as wonderful, and helpful, for today’s new parents, who seem to me always rushing, staring at their phones and ironically missing everything while they’re busy framing their photos. I wish I could have read this book when my children were young (and I am a savorer!), and that my husband could have. We would have been more present.

Everyone can benefit from Bill’s lovely reminder that a lot is happening with our families every day, even when it seems nothing is happening, and that every bit of it is important. Perhaps this book will nudge younger parents to acknowledge that their children will be grown up and gone much sooner than they can possibly imagine.

Bill Eville is a master. I am so glad he gave up banking and became, as he was meant to be, a writer. Lucky us!

[Becky Cavazuti · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a memoir, by Bill Eville, currently the editor of the Vineyard Gazette. But he moved to the Vineyard when his wife was called to be the minister of a church there, and he was the stay at home dad. He lovingly tells us about bringing up his children, going through his wife's cancer, and the struggles and happiness of life on Martha's Vineyard. #memoir #vineyardgazette #washedashore #marthasvineyard #billeville #bookstagram #booklover #reader #bookblog #lovetoread #fictionreader #bookreview #bookrecommendation #readersofinstagram #bookloversofinstagram #takeapagefrommybook #readallthebooks #booksbooksbooks #booksofinstagram #bookwormproblems #bookaholic #booknerd #whattoread #readingtime #bookaddict #ilovetoread #ilovebooks

[Phoebe Girard · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am currently in a memoir writing class. As part of the class I am reading all types of memoirs. This book by a journalist, a newspaper man, a dad and a husband gave me several ideas about structure and style. He writes in the personal essay format so chapters are quite short. I loved the dialogue with his children, his wife, and his friends and colleagues. He has a terrific sense of humor and is so readable. I live near Cape Cod so that was an added attraction. However, for me the most significant part of this book was the author’s tremendous humanity. He conveys ordinary family life in philosophical penetrating way that will keep me rereading several chapters. I am recommending this book to family and friends.

[Elisa Speranza · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've long been a fan of Vineyard Gazette editor Bill Eville's writing. I'm not a parent or even a pet owner, but his essays resonate on so many levels. He has a light touch, with occasional flashes of darkness, but that's not to say these essays are superficial. Just the opposite, actually. He weaves the sometimes heartbreaking heaviness with so much joy, humility, love, humor, and gratitude. Plus, my beloved island. And chickens. Aspiring essay and memoir writers can learn a lot from his approach. Readers and human beings can absorb the pain and laughter and come out the other side better for it.

[Elaine Gilbert · Rating 5 out of 5]

This non fiction account facinated me. Well written, and tells us a lot about Fatherhood. When Bill marries a woman pastor, little did he know how life was going to be changed. He was a stay at home dad with all it's funny moments, like his friends were nannys that took children to the park. Then they were assigned a church on an island...

[Joann · Rating 5 out of 5]

I laughed and I cried a little too. Loving his family and Martha's Vineyard put me in his place many times, but I didn't write about it, only continue to dream about it. Bill has his life open to anyone who reads this charming book. A happy awakening for all.

[Betsy Born · Rating 3 out of 5]

Just not for me. I didn't feel a connection with the author's stories and it just wasn't the kind of book that left me wanting more. It was well written and I did find myself laughing a handful of times.

[Pam · Rating 5 out of 5]

A joy to go along for the ride with Bill

As a fellow wash ashore - lifelong Vineyard visitor and now full time resident - I see my own journey in Bill’s writing of his family and our island. A love story to the Vineyard. Thank you Bill.

[Karen Jenkins · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pleasant read.

[S.J. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very good, even if a little heavy at times.

[Lynne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Perfectly described by the book's subtitle....

[Martish · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love memoirs and the ones I enjoy most are ones like this of people who aren’t famous.

[Susan A. Hunt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful

Not what I expected! Heartfelt look into fatherhood, growing up, wife's cancer story, Island life. Beautifully shared. I highly recommend.

[Robert · Rating 4 out of 5]

So great to get Bill's perspective on the Vineyard and Cathlin's career also.

[Andrew Ballard · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great writing, deeply moving stories

In this book, Bill Eville (interest declared: an old friend of mine), discusses God, death, children, love, marriage - you know, the usual - in a series of deft essays centred on Martha's Vineyard. Entertaining yet emotive, makes one rethink one's life and priorities.

[Ruby Reads · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was so eager to read this as a memoir of someone else's experiences with/within the ministry life and highlighted many portions. However, I expected more of a story leading to a climax than a series of (very well-written) essays on family life. Still, I don't think I'll forget this family or the tenderness of Eville's musings, particularly on fatherhood.