At the Root of This Longing: Reconciling a Spiritual Hunger and a Feminist Thirst

by Carol Lee Flinders

In At the Root of This Longing, Flinders identifies the four key points at which the paths of spirituality and feminism seem to collide—vowing silence vs. finding voice, relinquishing ego vs. establishing 'self', resisting desire vs. reclaiming the body, and enclosure vs. freedom—and sets out to discover not only the sources of these conflicts, but how they can be reconciled. With a sense of urgency brought on by events in her own life, Flinders deals with the alienation that women have experienced not only from themselves and each other, but from the sacred. She finds inspiration in the story of fourteenth-century mystic Julian of Norwich and her direct experience of God, in India's legendary Draupadi, who would not allow a brutal physical assault to damage her sense of personal power, as well as in Flinders's own experiences as a meditation teacher and practitioner. Flinders reveals that spirituality and feminism are not mutually exclusive at all but very much require one another.

Genres: Feminism, Spirituality, Nonfiction, Religion, Theology, Memoir, Gender Studies

386 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 11, 1998

Reviews

[Crystal · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is yet another book that I am using as part of my research for my master’s thesis on the feminine spiritual memoir. It took a while to get through this one. Much of it should be digested in small portions. While my personal spiritual beliefs do not match those of Flinders, I agree with most of the ideas and thoughts contained in the book. At the beginning, I did not see serious conflicts between spirituality and feminist ideology. But Flinders brings up many good points, delves deep into psychology and history and champions women without being belligerent or distasteful. She is compassionate and articulate.
The book is divided into two sections and I was thoroughly absorbed with the first section called “Julian’s Visions” which explored and set the tone for feminist spirituality. I was pleased that while she does not ignore goddess worship she does not present it as the only way to feminist spirituality. She makes allowances for all traditions and respects the validity of each one. She lays down the basics of pursuing spirituality like silence, retreats, self-denial, etc but keeps them all in a feminine perspective.
The second section of the book was not as interesting to me but does center largely around Indian traditions and the Hindu myth of Draupadi. She then goes into the importance of the “Girls Movement” and raising our daughters to be fully women and fully free and independent of patriarchy. Again, her tone and manner is highly affirming and wise not militant.
I would recommend this book to any thinking woman who wants to gain a better glimpse of why feminist thought is important in spirituality. Everything has a way of going full circle as does Flinders’ book.

[Tuscany Bernier · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book because it is one of the few positive books on the market discussing feminism within spirituality. The idea that one can be very religious and a good feminist, fighting for the rights of fellow women or setting up ritual in our daily lives to celebrate our womanhood. It was written in 90's so there were aspects she was discussing that I felt were very slightly outdated but the majority of the ideas presented were still true 20+ years later.

I also enjoyed the "Book Two" portion significantly more than the first part...not entirely sure why. I think it just fit into my perspective of feminism in my daily life than the first part. As a Muslim woman, I reserve the idea of the Divine with Allah alone, so I struggle to read things that encourage me to be okay with pagan goddesses under the name of feminism. It just doesn't jive with my value system. Although, this idea was a minor part of the book, in my opinion, and not essential in enjoying the read. I do believe that women are very special, wonderful pieces of creation that should be celebrated in our own way. I enjoy mixing the traditional roles with new ideas so I appreciated that she provided ideas that we could switch it up in our modern lives, such as cooking food for homeless shelters sometimes, instead of only at home everyday.

Overall, I think it is a must-read for spiritual feminists because it forces you to ask questions: what do I like about my self? My gender? Do I celebrate womanhood? How do cultures here and abroad celebrate womanhood? How does the patriarchy work into our spiritual practices? Very interesting!

[Christina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Flinders articulates so well the tension I feel between feminism and religion or spirituality. And tells personal stories all along the way. I felt included on her journey and connected to her conclusions.

[Shira and Ari Evergreen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Spirituality often comes with mandates to maintain silence or to strive for egolessness, but women are oppressed, so they're often forced to be silent or egoless. In addition, many religious traditions add to this oppression. How then can a woman reconcile her spirituality and her feminism?

Carol Lee Flinders is a spiritual seeker and meditator in the Gandhian tradition. In this book she outlines the path she took towards an integrated, feminist spirituality. Along the way she talks about coming-of-age rituals and the embodiment of the goddess in young women reaching menarche, the tough balance between dedicated meditation and the distractions of family, and the need for enclosure and transformation in both spiritual and female life.

Flinders talks about Gandhi's promotion of stayagraha as the path to creating an India so sure of herself that not only could she shake off British oppression, she would remain inviolate against further colonization. She asserts that women need a similar sense of "soul-force" to bolster our feminism; if we can all see ourselves as emanations of the earth mother, our feminist action will be steadfast in the face of challenges, and we can transform our societies and our world.

I really loved this book and I think it would be worth reading for anyone who cares about the state of the world, and who may be looking for answers to help cure its ills. Any activist working in any area will find this book useful and illuminating. Spiritual seekers may enjoy the integration of ideas and stories from a variety of traditions.

[Thomas DeWolf · Rating 5 out of 5]

At this moment in time, I can't think of another book I more highly recommend than this one for everyone interested in exploring life, spirit, self-knowledge, and becoming one's best self. Carol Lee Flinders explores this and more, and takes readers on a powerful journey with her, one that explores "the sacred feminine" throughout history, and today. In our separateness from each other (women from each other, women from men, and men from each other), Flinders identifies a way forward with grace and hope. This is a book I savored very slowly; pausing on three different occasions to read other books so I could let her words settle in and bubble up.

In a certain, powerful sense, this is a book for women; women examining and claiming their own divine power. And in another, powerful sense, this is a book for men. We (I) have so much to learn about the sacred feminine, the power of women that we (I) have so often diminished through our (my) unconscious (and sometimes conscious) actions and choices, power that liberates and lifts up women, but also liberates and lifts up men... lifts up humanity.

I love this book, and share a quote as to why I believe others will also: "Those who leave here knowing who they are and what they truly desire have freedom everywhere, both in this world and in the next."

At a time when the need is great for us to imagine a better world; a world in which relationships are truly grounded in equality and respect, this book is a godsend.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

A friend recommended this book to me, and I'm glad I took the time to read it. It's a long, meandering journey through the experience of Carol Flinders over 3 years, mixed in with a little history, some mythology, and some philosophical discussion about the role of women.

I really needed to read some of this. I was coming to a point in my own life when I could no longer get by without the nagging feeling that the God I believe in must truly despise women. I've been given all those good Christian books about being a good Christian wife, and I've always felt that they were missing something about the truth of women. I'm glad to see that others have dealt with the same issues, and how other cultures take better steps toward honoring women. I'd like to raise my daughter to live in freedom rather than to discourage her from following her dreams under the guise of helping a man follow his.

I thought Flinders did a nice job of presenting her information, although there didn't seem to be any sort of order or logic to it. It was thought-provoking, but at the end, I wasn't quite sure what the point of it was. I don't feel reconciled or empowered, and I wasn't quite sure what to do after reading all of this, except to put the book down and think about it.

It's a good read if you want to spend some time exploring the spiritual lives of women. I'd like to find other books with similar things that might get me further on the path toward reconciling those issues for myself. If you're reading this review, and you've got a recommendation for me, I'd love to know. Thanks.

[Dreinhardt · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've read this book more than once. It's not a fast read, but one where I had a lot of those "Boy, she has managed to express a lot of things I feel" moments. A woman's relationship to God can certainly be affected by growing up in a male-dominated church with a father-figure God.

[Michalyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this when I was quite young and struggling to get my head around a lot of issues and I remember just feeling a sense of "rightness" about this book--that someone had finally put into simple and gentle words all the things I had been trying so hard to say. I'd like to go back to this again now that I'm older to see what I think of it but it's good meditative material (in the sense that it'll get you thinking) but I suppose in many ways it's broad and doesn't quite get at the complexity of issues. It's a good start though.

[Holly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Much food for thought about the conflicts between religion and feminism, and the possibilities for complementarity. The author is a member of a meditation community; her focus is, fittingly, more on mystic traditions than on the mainstream of any religion. Though the book is only a few years old, I'd call her a second-wave feminist. Lisa's review is good. I learned a lot and my thinking was VERY stimulated.

[Sugarmaple · Rating 5 out of 5]

:...in a mysterious, powerful way the Goddess, the earth, and every individual woman really are one. All one, and all the Mother."

[Marissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book. I have been looking for it for some time. I wish I wrote it. For any woman living within what feels like the tension of faith and culture, please read this.

[Emma]

Technically have been reading this book for two years but finally read the last chapter! It was lowkey excellent at some parts so that I would have to stop reading for a while to think about it. A few other parts I'm more hesitant about but that's maybe bc I don't know much about the religious traditions of India or feminist conversations from the 1970s.

[Lelia · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was powerfully enlightening and left me wanting. First I was delighted to realize that Carol Lee Flinders is an old "friend." When I became vegetarian in high school, my mom's wife gave me Laurel's Kitchen. I found that book so much more than a vegetarian cookbook. It introduced me to the idea that traditional "women's work" was not necessarily despicable drudgery that forward thinking feminist's left behind. As the daughter of a woman who had boldly committed to law school in the mid 70s, I was well aware of the importance of women being free to leave behind the traditional role of wife, mother, teacher, nurse. But, as a quiet homebody, I was delighted to learn that there's also inherent value in the work traditionally assigned to women. Flinders carries that theme forward in At the Root of this Longing, demonstrating over and over the sacredness of women's skill in nurturing, growing, birthing as well as the sacredness of women's power, wrath, autonomy and connection to each other. She has a great line about “... something women know very well even while they try to persuade themselves otherwise - that the protection and security patriarchal structures offer us in exchange for fealty are only paper thin and that a woman’s only real security lies in the strength of her own connection with the sacred.”
Where I was left wanting was in the instruction on how to connect with the sacred. Maybe I naively want an easy recipe - and Flinders does suggest meditation as a way to ground in the sacred. She also briefly describes a kind of lectio divina that she practices. But somehow I was left asking, if the sacred is so important, how do we connect to it? Maybe that's not only beyond the scope of this book but also something we each have to answer for ourselves.

[Lungstrum Smalls · Rating 3 out of 5]

pushing myself to read things that I am skeptical of-- white people who write about spirituality is one of those things. I had to sigh a few times and roll my eyes, but the overall "meditation" on feminism and spirituality is powerful, and worth reading.

sexuality is to feminism what work is to marxism: that which is most one’s own, yet most taken away. 73

What if the structures that have kept women silent and dis-empowered for so long are too deeply embedded in human consciousness---in yours, mine, everyone’s--to be touched by anything resembling ordinary political activism or even mass education? 90

sustaining, that is, the punitive model for life that has always been fundamental to patriarchy. 218

[steds · Rating 3 out of 5]

wonderful, easy-to-read journey of one woman's attempts to reconcile feminism and spirituality. i found myself identifying easily with some portions (longing for woman-centered models of faith) and being challenged by others (the emphasis on the biological female traits). as a theologian it is not overly complex, which is where it's beauty lies. it is honest and truly encouraged me to work for changes i seek in religious pursuit.

[Susan Dehn Matthews · Rating 4 out of 5]

The points of dissonance between feminism and spirituality are enlightening, but even more are the elements of resonance. The author's personal journey of reconciliation might very well be described as everywoman's. An important addition to the body of work on the rediscovery of the sacred feminine.

[Liza]

I'm digesting this book one page at a time. Insightful. Thought provoking. Not an "easy read".
I recommend this book for all women searching for spiritual expression, but who are dissatisfied with the patriarchal (and often misogynistic) construct of modern relgions.

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was very helpful to me in defining some of the programming I have as a woman, and putting it into perspective

[Rainey · Rating 4 out of 5]

one of the only books I've ever read to explore the subject of woman's spirituality in relation to feminism.

[Sally · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book years ago and I am curious to see if I will like it as much the second time

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

One word: PROFOUND!

[Leta Blake · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of my all-time favorite books. I re-read it periodically.

[Martha · Rating 5 out of 5]

Stellar...best book I've read (reread) since The Dance of the Dissident Daughter regarding feminism and spirituality.

[MystikMila · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was preparing to sit on the floor of the Women’s studies section at my local used books store, as I usually do, when a woman’s face on a book’s spine immediately catches my eye. It’s a painting by Klimt, the same artist that decorates the journal I’ve been writing in since I formally and definitively left the religion I grew up in. Must be fate, I thought, when I read the title and decided to buy it. I knew I was in for a ride when I read the author start talking about her own synchronicities.

I kept having to put the book down, closing my eyes and letting what I just read simmer in my heart, remembering things I’ve written in my aforementioned journal, skimming through my own writing and wonderfully surprised to see how Flinders managed to put all my rambling thoughts on the connection between feminism and spirituality, eloquently into a stunning book that has felt deeply validating to the version of me that still was struggling to piece together a personal form of spirituality that could go well with my feminist view of life.

Carol identifies four main precepts of spirituality that collide with feminism. The precepts feel gross to me, (the books says “like submission”), and this makes it harder for women to feel comfortable in most spiritual practices. What men do willingly to strengthen their spiritual lives (silence, enclosure, self-naughting and resisting desires) we as women have been culturally or socially forced to do. So why bother? The author emphasizes that the most important factor is choice, and that for women it’s been severely lacking.

I first secretly left evangelical Christianity and it took me years to open up about it. Most systems of belief don’t resonate with me. Atheism felt too small, as much as I’ve enjoyed atheist writers. Flinders explores this conundrum well. And from her notes, I now added at least 10 new books to my to read list. Because if the best authors are the ones that make you want to read a ton more, Flinders is easily at top of my list.

The author not only uses her own chosen belief system and other feminist writer’s words to articulate her points but also many others, from Christian beliefs to the beliefs of several indigenous tribes. Not pushing any specific religion is admirable, but I especially applaud the tasteful criticism that still is respectful towards beliefs that are not one’s own.

It fills me with joy to read how dated books like this can get. Women’s spirituality is flourishing now more than ever, and it is pouring into the mainstream fast, like a river returning to its course and healing the ecosystem around it despite its initial turmoil and sometimes sorely needed destruction of certain things that cause harm. Because: “To become what we would be, we must let go of everything we have been.” p. 168. I know the book mentions women of the west not having much of a usable past to build up from, but I do think that our actions today are usable past for future women.

Another thing the book touches on (in the second part) is what we call the “sister wound” nowadays. And I’m also very happy to see that women today are leaning into sisterhood, and in my own life I see why Flinders explains women creating community with one another as the key to reclaiming our connection with divinity. “…the protection, security patriarchal structures, offer us in exchange for fealty, are only paper thin, and that a woman’s only real security lies in the strength of her own connection with the sacred” p. 270.

Finally, as women embody divinity with more strength each day, as women connect with other women and as the acceptable narrative of female life continues to broaden (I say all this not as a wish but as a fact) I bring this specific phrase from Carol’s words into my soul: Renewal, regeneration, innovation, is what women do.

[Alex Long · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this up thinking it wouldn't be super relevant to me because it was written in the 1990s. But I was wrong, the conversation really hasn't progressed much since then. In fact it's regressed in certain areas.
This is about a woman who lives in a new age-y, hardcore meditation co-op who's also a literature professor who focuses on mystical writings across world religions. She notes points of conflict between her spirituality and feminism, not surface cultural stuff but more profound things, like how her feminism tells her to create a firm, solid identity (in response to patriarchal forces that want to sublimate her into a man's identity) and her spirituality tells her to let go of ego and identity (in response to materialist forces that want to limit her horizons).
By exploring these tensions, she reaches a deeper understanding of both traditions and sees how, where it seems like they conflict they actually complement each other. Then she brings in war and violence against women, and tests her intellectual and spiritual insights have any hope of helping eliminate gender-based violence.
Her readings of religious texts are very much filtered through her personal universalism. She doesn't go to the texts because she has a certain relationship to them as part of her tradition, she goes to them for specific perspectives they have. That's not bad it's just different from how religious people read texts from their tradition, so it takes a little adjusting to.
This memoir isn't imperative for anyone to read, I think anyone who considers themselves a religious or spiritual feminist has come to her conclusions intuitively. But it's nice to have it spelled out by an expert of mystical literature who lived through the latter half of the 20th century.

[ReadThruTheNight · Rating 5 out of 5]

Feminism and spirituality, what a concept! So few books dive into the complex relationship between the two, revealing the necessity for integrating both for a life of meaning, self awareness and liberation. The author examines four pivotal areas of tension- embracing silence vs finding voice, relinquishing ego vs reclaiming the self and resisting desire vs reclaiming the body and enclosure vs freedom. She seeks to comprehend their underlying causes and potential reconciliation. She also addresses alienation experienced by women, drawing from historical and mythical contexts. Insights from mystics, feminist theory and personal experience she creates a multifaceted tapestry that defines our understanding of the interplay between spiritual and feminist aspirations. Beautifully written.

[Sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Three and a half stars. This was a beautifully written feminist exploration not only of Medieval female mystics and aspects of The Mahabharata, but of rape culture (20 years before being so termed) and meditation. While I think her analysis of women's spiritual needs is very astute, this book is definitely a bit dated now, coming across as eye-rollingly NorCal crunchy and unintentionally essentialist at times (which Flinders struggles with, to her credit). I did really love her radical argument that feminist action requires some kind of engaged meditative practice and ritual.

[Andrea Hylen · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book for all to read now. An exploration with archetypes and history with ideas and reflection on how to connect to both the spiritual and feminist selves. We all need silence to listen and open to inspiration. We all need to take action and creatively express our knowledge and wisdom. Why have women been written out of history? Carol Lee Flinders took us on this journey in the 70's, 80's and 90's. It is still relevant today!

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

"The flow of the life force and of spirit, too, has always passed through women--but if we aren't aligned, it can't....Feminism catches fire when it draws upon its inherent spirituality. When it does not, it is just one more form of politics, and politics has never fed our deepest hungers."

[Claudia Glenn · Rating 4 out of 5]

An engaging, surprisingly comprehensive evaluation of both spirituality through the lens of feminism and feminism through the lens of spirituality that left me feeling connected to histories (and current realities) I hadn’t yet recognized.