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The Heart
The Broken Heart: Applying the Atonement to Life's Experiences
This book considers the role of the Lord's saving grace in the mortal experience. Comprising collected essays, Bruce Hafen writes of the important doctrine of the Atonement. A bestseller in hardback, The Broken Heart will encourage, uplift, and inspire.
267 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 15, 1989
48 people are currently reading
933 people want to read
About the author
Bruce C. Hafen
29 books30 followersBruce C. Hafen has been a member of the First Quorum of the Seventy since 1996, having served recently as Area President of the Australia/New Zealand area. Earlier he was president of Ricks College, Dean of the BYU Law School, and the number two administrator (Provost) at BYU. Elder Hafen is known to Deseret Book readers for his frequent Ensign articles and his bestselling trilogy on the Atonement, which includes the award-winning book The Broken Heart.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 129 reviews
February 28, 2008
So when I saw this book on my bookshelf I said,
A. What is this book doing here.
B. This book looks boring as sin. (The cover was horrible)
C. I'm never going to read it.
D. Why am I spending so much time making a list about this book?
But then, just to spite myself I began reading it. And was sorely disappointed in my initial prejudice. This was a practical book on the powers of the atonement, which is something I've been wanting to learn more about. It is not nebulous and motivational as much as brass-tacks definitions and enlightening steps toward understanding and taking full advantage of the atonement. And Bruce Hafen is a great author, very compelling with wonderful references and tie-ins to modern literature and philosophy outside the mormon church. You can tell he is a lawyer as he lays out the doctrine without much wiggle room.
Insert cliché "book by it's cover" closing statement here.
A. What is this book doing here.
B. This book looks boring as sin. (The cover was horrible)
C. I'm never going to read it.
D. Why am I spending so much time making a list about this book?
But then, just to spite myself I began reading it. And was sorely disappointed in my initial prejudice. This was a practical book on the powers of the atonement, which is something I've been wanting to learn more about. It is not nebulous and motivational as much as brass-tacks definitions and enlightening steps toward understanding and taking full advantage of the atonement. And Bruce Hafen is a great author, very compelling with wonderful references and tie-ins to modern literature and philosophy outside the mormon church. You can tell he is a lawyer as he lays out the doctrine without much wiggle room.
Insert cliché "book by it's cover" closing statement here.
November 5, 2013
This book helped me think about how I need the Savior's Atonement in my life. It made me want to study and understand it much better. "The Broken Heart has a double meaning: first, the breaking of Christ's heart at the moment of his death on the cross, when he voluntarily gave up his life in the final act of the Atonement's drama; second, the broken heart and contrite spirit the Savior asks each of us to place before him on the altar of sacrifice (p. 27)."
I was surprised by an opening statement in the introduction of this book that refers to a 1980 Newsweek article where the writer shared his understanding of the Church's doctrine based on what he heard members of the Church describe and interpret as their traditions. Those "traditions" didn't seem to include a clear explanation of the Atonement, the foundation of our religion. "The Book of Mormon contains without question the most profound theological treatment of the Atonement found in any book now available on any shelf anywhere in the world. Despite this remarkable truth about the Book of Mormon, we Latter-day Saints are, for the most part, only superficially acquainted with our own doctrines of grace, mercy, justice, and the Atonement (p. 3)."
I think that's an interesting and important statement and reminder of the importance of learning to understand the Atonement for ourselves and making that our center point and foundation. With that as our center point are motives and desires will be more pure and clear. We will have a humble, broken, teachable and new heart!
Here are a few other quotes I liked from the book:
"I once wondered if those who refuse to repent but who then satisfy the law of justice by paying for their own sins are then worthy to enter the celestial kingdom. The answer is no. The entrance requirements for celestial life are simply higher than merely satisfying the law of justice. For that reason, paying for our sins will not bear the same fruit as repenting of our sins (p. 7)."
"A sensible test for determining whether the Atonement applies might be the simple question of whether the experience in fact separates or estranges us from God. To make us "at-one" with God is, after all, the doctrine's purpose (p. 13)."
I love the translation of the German word Sehnsucht, meaning "a longing for home" as sung in O My Father (p. 87) and then the sweet prayer expressed on the next page "Please help us, Father. We want to come home (p. 88)."
"We can control the things that really matter: the righteousness of our desires, the purity of our motives, the wholeheartedness of our efforts to love God and keep his commandments, the genuineness of our interest in other people, and the extent to which our efforts reflect our inborn capacity. One way to distinguish what matters a great deal from what does not matter so much is to ask whether the subject is within our control. If it is, then it probably matters enough to merit our attention (p. 101)."
"Part of the sacrifice of a broken heart and a contrite spirit is a willingness to sacrifice the love affair so many of us have with our own egos (p. 119)."
I was surprised by an opening statement in the introduction of this book that refers to a 1980 Newsweek article where the writer shared his understanding of the Church's doctrine based on what he heard members of the Church describe and interpret as their traditions. Those "traditions" didn't seem to include a clear explanation of the Atonement, the foundation of our religion. "The Book of Mormon contains without question the most profound theological treatment of the Atonement found in any book now available on any shelf anywhere in the world. Despite this remarkable truth about the Book of Mormon, we Latter-day Saints are, for the most part, only superficially acquainted with our own doctrines of grace, mercy, justice, and the Atonement (p. 3)."
I think that's an interesting and important statement and reminder of the importance of learning to understand the Atonement for ourselves and making that our center point and foundation. With that as our center point are motives and desires will be more pure and clear. We will have a humble, broken, teachable and new heart!
Here are a few other quotes I liked from the book:
"I once wondered if those who refuse to repent but who then satisfy the law of justice by paying for their own sins are then worthy to enter the celestial kingdom. The answer is no. The entrance requirements for celestial life are simply higher than merely satisfying the law of justice. For that reason, paying for our sins will not bear the same fruit as repenting of our sins (p. 7)."
"A sensible test for determining whether the Atonement applies might be the simple question of whether the experience in fact separates or estranges us from God. To make us "at-one" with God is, after all, the doctrine's purpose (p. 13)."
I love the translation of the German word Sehnsucht, meaning "a longing for home" as sung in O My Father (p. 87) and then the sweet prayer expressed on the next page "Please help us, Father. We want to come home (p. 88)."
"We can control the things that really matter: the righteousness of our desires, the purity of our motives, the wholeheartedness of our efforts to love God and keep his commandments, the genuineness of our interest in other people, and the extent to which our efforts reflect our inborn capacity. One way to distinguish what matters a great deal from what does not matter so much is to ask whether the subject is within our control. If it is, then it probably matters enough to merit our attention (p. 101)."
"Part of the sacrifice of a broken heart and a contrite spirit is a willingness to sacrifice the love affair so many of us have with our own egos (p. 119)."
December 11, 2018
I had heard great things about this book from Brad Wilcox, who jokes that he quotes Hafen so much he should list him as a coauthor on The Continuous Atonement. I think because of that, I was a little underwhelmed when I started this book. I was also bothered by how often he used the phrase "Applying the Atonement," as well as some of his doctrinal theories and about Adam and Eve and the Atonement.
But I'm glad I kept reading, because some of these chapters are amazing. I particularly loved chapters 3-7, where I learned:
3. We shouldn't be disappointed when BYU, a temple marriage, or any other piece of the Church is not perfect. If life were always nice and comfortable, we would never learn from our challenges.
4. If we try to escape pain in search of constant entertainment, we will never find true joy.
5. We have a culture that focuses too much on success and outcomes, when we should focus on the journey, especially the relationships we build along the way.
6. Those who take commandments too seriously and those who don't take them seriously enough have the same problem: they are uncomfortable with their inadequacies. They think everything depends on their own effort, so when they mess up, they mask their pain by pretending they don't care about the rules or obsessively obeying even more rules. What they need to understand is Christ's willingness to help them in their helplessness, to be their strength, and to make them better than they could be on their own.
I still tell people about that last part I learned in chapter 6. I'd always had that question, and it finally makes sense. I also enjoyed how much he brought in European history to explain why we believe what we do (or used to) about our relationship with God.
I think the overall message is that we can find meaning, despite our shortcomings and trials, thanks to the Atonement of Christ. The gospel isn't about checking boxes and passing a test,
It's about becoming a better person through obedience and sacrifice.
But I'm glad I kept reading, because some of these chapters are amazing. I particularly loved chapters 3-7, where I learned:
3. We shouldn't be disappointed when BYU, a temple marriage, or any other piece of the Church is not perfect. If life were always nice and comfortable, we would never learn from our challenges.
4. If we try to escape pain in search of constant entertainment, we will never find true joy.
5. We have a culture that focuses too much on success and outcomes, when we should focus on the journey, especially the relationships we build along the way.
6. Those who take commandments too seriously and those who don't take them seriously enough have the same problem: they are uncomfortable with their inadequacies. They think everything depends on their own effort, so when they mess up, they mask their pain by pretending they don't care about the rules or obsessively obeying even more rules. What they need to understand is Christ's willingness to help them in their helplessness, to be their strength, and to make them better than they could be on their own.
I still tell people about that last part I learned in chapter 6. I'd always had that question, and it finally makes sense. I also enjoyed how much he brought in European history to explain why we believe what we do (or used to) about our relationship with God.
I think the overall message is that we can find meaning, despite our shortcomings and trials, thanks to the Atonement of Christ. The gospel isn't about checking boxes and passing a test,
It's about becoming a better person through obedience and sacrifice.
August 25, 2009
Several years ago I came across a talk entitled "Beauty for Ashes" by Elder Bruce C. Hafen. That talk changed forever my understanding of the Atonement. So, I was pleased when I came across this book in a bookstore one day and I bought it. So, so, glad I did! Elder Hafen in this book expounds on the true meaning and application of the Atonement for our every day lives. Using concepts he touched upon in the aforementioned talk he succeeds in bringing new insight and understanding on the Atonement, one of the possibly least understood concepts of LDS doctrine.
Through his understanding you come to see the Atonement not just as a doctrine for sinners, but also a healing doctrine for anyone who has made mistakes, has weaknesses or needs a mended heart. Absolutely a great read!
Through his understanding you come to see the Atonement not just as a doctrine for sinners, but also a healing doctrine for anyone who has made mistakes, has weaknesses or needs a mended heart. Absolutely a great read!
May 31, 2012
Don't love writing reviews, but loved this book! It really elucidates the necessity for and relevance of the atonement in the trenches of day-to-day life, essential for all as opposed to just the vilest of sinners, and offers applications with real-life examples. This book was so dog-eared by the time I finished! Two brief points from the book, among many, that really resonated with me:
1. We all feel estranged or separated from God at times in our lives; it may be as a result of sin, but many times it is a result of circumstances that befall us that make it seem as if God has forgotten us or make us wonder why various difficulties happen to us. (Think Eve when she found out Abel was dead, or Joseph Smith in Liberty Jail. . . We all have personal examples we can use to fill in the blanks.) The parable of the ninety-and-nine is not just a parable of sinners, but of Christ's sheep--baptized members of the church--who need to feel that Christ is there, He understands, and He can carry them back to peace and safety despite the storms of life raging around them. It is often when we are "lost" that we find Christ and the true meaning of enabling power the atonement can provide.
2. Grace vs. works. Our works are important and essential, especially our efforts to repent, but no matter how well we repent, it will not be sufficient to lift us to a Celestial status. It is only through the atonement, which not only neutralizes sin--returns us to our spotless state--but rehabilitates us and has the power to transform us, through the gifts of the atonement we can be blessed with such as charity and hope, that we are finally molded in His image and fit for Celestial life.
The atonement is so much more than a loving Father who makes up the difference for a son trying to buy a bicycle that is many times more than He can afford, as this book so aptly explains. Could say more, but you'll have to read it and discover the atonement in a new light for yourself!
1. We all feel estranged or separated from God at times in our lives; it may be as a result of sin, but many times it is a result of circumstances that befall us that make it seem as if God has forgotten us or make us wonder why various difficulties happen to us. (Think Eve when she found out Abel was dead, or Joseph Smith in Liberty Jail. . . We all have personal examples we can use to fill in the blanks.) The parable of the ninety-and-nine is not just a parable of sinners, but of Christ's sheep--baptized members of the church--who need to feel that Christ is there, He understands, and He can carry them back to peace and safety despite the storms of life raging around them. It is often when we are "lost" that we find Christ and the true meaning of enabling power the atonement can provide.
2. Grace vs. works. Our works are important and essential, especially our efforts to repent, but no matter how well we repent, it will not be sufficient to lift us to a Celestial status. It is only through the atonement, which not only neutralizes sin--returns us to our spotless state--but rehabilitates us and has the power to transform us, through the gifts of the atonement we can be blessed with such as charity and hope, that we are finally molded in His image and fit for Celestial life.
The atonement is so much more than a loving Father who makes up the difference for a son trying to buy a bicycle that is many times more than He can afford, as this book so aptly explains. Could say more, but you'll have to read it and discover the atonement in a new light for yourself!
April 18, 2013
Good LDS book on the Atonement of Christ and how it works.
September 15, 2020
Good reminder that all the hard stuff we go through is ultimately meant to make us more like Jesus Christ.
November 6, 2017
I love that at the beginning, Hafen points out that the broken heart applies both to our broken heart and contrite spirit but also to Christ's heart, broken for our sakes.
He writes that the gospel was given to us to heal our pain, not to prevent it.
(I'm not putting quotations because I listened to this and then dictated my summary of what he said, so while parts are pretty close to what he said, most aren't direct quotations.) I loved what he wrote about Christ's words to come unto him for his yoke is easy and his burden is light do not describe one event or even just an attitude. It's a process. Christ isn't asking for just the answer to a yes/no question but an essay that meanders through the winding path of our experience. As we traverse that trail, He is not only aware of our limitations but He will compensate for them. Each of us needs to take the Atonement more fully into the deepest part of our consciousness.
He points out that the requirement to enter the Celestial Kingdom is more than just being sinless or having paid for our sins. It requires a broken heart. While those who don't repent and must pay for their own sins will satisfy the demands of justice, they will not have the divine reconciliation, the divine achievement, that comes only through a combination of our repentance and Jesus Christ's grace. He compares it to someone who has spent time in prison. Going to prison satisfies the need for retribution to be paid, the law of justice...but it doesn't necessarily rehabilitate the prisoner, it doesn't necessarily lead to a change of heart. "Mercy and grace are rehabilitative in nature, not retributive."
The Savior's Atonement can make up for not only our sins, but also our inadequacies. No only our wilfull disobedience but also our unknowing mistakes, errors of judgment and imperfections.
All of us are like the one sheep that has gone astray. The Savior will leave the 99 to go and find us. Often we are lost sheep not because we have wandered intentionally but because we are facing difficult challenges and need the Savior's help to overcome and return home.
The nearer we approach our Savior and become a true disciple, the more we recognize our blemishes and faults. Maybe that's part of what it means to have a broken heart.
Hafen wrote that if we judge all human activity as either success or failure, with nothing in between, then because human activity is rarely an unequivocal success, we will judge nearly every action taken to be a failure. If we are honest with ourselves and we're committed to high principles, there will always be a distance or gap between where we are and where we hope to be.Progress usually occurs with small steps in the right direction, small incremental changes...but with both ups and downs as we progress, but with an overall upward trend. Often, our downs are seen with fear or discouragement...we worry that they show an overall trend of backsliding or poor performance when really it's a completely natural part of the process of growth. He then says to imagine two circles, one smaller inside of a larger circle. The inner circle is the reality of our actions/behavior/thoughts. The outer circle represents the ideals by which we try to live our life. We are standing in the inner circle, with what is real and true about ourselves, but we are reaching outward, trying to pull ourselves closer to the ideal. We especially see the distance, or gap, between the real and the ideal when we become aware of our imperfections.As that realization grows, so can our frustration. But it often actually shows our growth...because Heavenly Father doesn't show us what we lack all at once, He slowly shows us one area where the real and ideal have a gap and then helps us to lessen or close the gap and then reveals another area where there is a gap. We don't become perfect in one great act, but as we trust the Savior and use His Atonement the inner circle slowly gets pushed nearer the outer circle. So we need to be patient with our own shortcomings and others. And try to notice not only the gaps but also the small, incremental progress being made.
No matter how hard we try we can't attain charity on our own...it is bestowed upon the true followers of Christ...we can't just work hard to achieve it...it is a spiritual GIFT.
He writes that the gospel was given to us to heal our pain, not to prevent it.
(I'm not putting quotations because I listened to this and then dictated my summary of what he said, so while parts are pretty close to what he said, most aren't direct quotations.) I loved what he wrote about Christ's words to come unto him for his yoke is easy and his burden is light do not describe one event or even just an attitude. It's a process. Christ isn't asking for just the answer to a yes/no question but an essay that meanders through the winding path of our experience. As we traverse that trail, He is not only aware of our limitations but He will compensate for them. Each of us needs to take the Atonement more fully into the deepest part of our consciousness.
He points out that the requirement to enter the Celestial Kingdom is more than just being sinless or having paid for our sins. It requires a broken heart. While those who don't repent and must pay for their own sins will satisfy the demands of justice, they will not have the divine reconciliation, the divine achievement, that comes only through a combination of our repentance and Jesus Christ's grace. He compares it to someone who has spent time in prison. Going to prison satisfies the need for retribution to be paid, the law of justice...but it doesn't necessarily rehabilitate the prisoner, it doesn't necessarily lead to a change of heart. "Mercy and grace are rehabilitative in nature, not retributive."
The Savior's Atonement can make up for not only our sins, but also our inadequacies. No only our wilfull disobedience but also our unknowing mistakes, errors of judgment and imperfections.
All of us are like the one sheep that has gone astray. The Savior will leave the 99 to go and find us. Often we are lost sheep not because we have wandered intentionally but because we are facing difficult challenges and need the Savior's help to overcome and return home.
The nearer we approach our Savior and become a true disciple, the more we recognize our blemishes and faults. Maybe that's part of what it means to have a broken heart.
Hafen wrote that if we judge all human activity as either success or failure, with nothing in between, then because human activity is rarely an unequivocal success, we will judge nearly every action taken to be a failure. If we are honest with ourselves and we're committed to high principles, there will always be a distance or gap between where we are and where we hope to be.Progress usually occurs with small steps in the right direction, small incremental changes...but with both ups and downs as we progress, but with an overall upward trend. Often, our downs are seen with fear or discouragement...we worry that they show an overall trend of backsliding or poor performance when really it's a completely natural part of the process of growth. He then says to imagine two circles, one smaller inside of a larger circle. The inner circle is the reality of our actions/behavior/thoughts. The outer circle represents the ideals by which we try to live our life. We are standing in the inner circle, with what is real and true about ourselves, but we are reaching outward, trying to pull ourselves closer to the ideal. We especially see the distance, or gap, between the real and the ideal when we become aware of our imperfections.As that realization grows, so can our frustration. But it often actually shows our growth...because Heavenly Father doesn't show us what we lack all at once, He slowly shows us one area where the real and ideal have a gap and then helps us to lessen or close the gap and then reveals another area where there is a gap. We don't become perfect in one great act, but as we trust the Savior and use His Atonement the inner circle slowly gets pushed nearer the outer circle. So we need to be patient with our own shortcomings and others. And try to notice not only the gaps but also the small, incremental progress being made.
No matter how hard we try we can't attain charity on our own...it is bestowed upon the true followers of Christ...we can't just work hard to achieve it...it is a spiritual GIFT.
March 5, 2012
Excellent discourse on the atonement of Christ. Elder Hafen writes in a rich and educated simplicity. In 200 pages he quoted several scriptures and explained our need for the atonement clearly and concisely. Many times in the past I have thought or wondered about the topics he discusses in this book and it was nice to gain more perspective. I recommend it to every member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as well as anyone who does not understand what the Church believes about the atonement.
June 12, 2018
Spiritually nourishing book that helps the reader more fully understand God's grace and how it is available for us. Excellent read which i recommend to everyone. Whether you worry about sin or have sorrow over things you have no control over, this author can help you gain the peace that is more powerful than any darkness.
March 17, 2008
This, along with Stephen Robinson's great Believing Christ, gives a comprehensive explanation of how we can access the blessings of Christ's love in our lives, how we can feel it more, and why we shouldn't be afraid to seek it. Invaluable.
November 29, 2011
What a great book, deep, I had to read certain parts a few times to make sure I got it all. He does a great job of using stories and examples to illustrate points to help you understand the principles. I really enjoyed the book.
April 27, 2017
***04/23/2017 Listened again this time with my Sweet Wife while we reorganized our apt. I love this book. It's so deep, like Holy Scripture.
Listened to this multiple times while I was patrolling as a police officer. Gave me great comfort and peace after Alexa broke my heart.
Listened to this multiple times while I was patrolling as a police officer. Gave me great comfort and peace after Alexa broke my heart.
August 27, 2014
This is one of the best LDS books I've read. It is well written, engaging, and filled with both doctrine and real examples. It is the best book I've read on how we can apply the atonement to our lives. This is on my list of life changing books.
August 24, 2015
An incredibly wonderful read. It answers a lot of questions, and broadens the understanding of suffering here on earth, the Saviour's role, and our own in relation to the Atonement and eternal life.
I would recommend this book to all my family and friends.
I would recommend this book to all my family and friends.
Want to read
March 14, 2011This year's Easter book for our family. We get one every year and this year, we're challenging ourselves to understand the Atonement as well as Elder Hafen explains it.
February 11, 2023
The concepts in this book still hold true even though the book is more than 3 decades old.
January 23, 2020
It's impressive that a 30 year old book still holds such strong value and relevance. I wish I would've read this a decade ago when I first heard about in Robinson's class. The book has great examples of and clarity in explaining some aspects of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I recommend it!
October 5, 2025
BOOK REVIEW — The Broken Heart: Applying the Atonement to Life’s Experiences by Bruce C. Hafen (1992)
Bruce Hafen, or as we called him “The Hafe” was the dean of BYU law school. He was universally respected as a legal scholar and someone that saw ambiguity in matters of faith and gently tutored those of us that had personal interaction with him. The Broken Heart is a deeply thoughtful and pastoral exploration of how the doctrine of the Atonement of Jesus Christ meets real human experience — not in abstract theory, but at the point of our deepest wounds, discouragements, and moral failings. I read the book when I was a young bishop and needed a deeper understanding of the atonement to nurture the flock I was responsible for. The strength of the book is its plainspoken wisdom and its insistence that grace is not just for the end of life but for the whole journey.
Hafen begins by challenging a subtle but common misunderstanding among believers: that the Atonement is only operative after we have “done all we can do” — implying that we must reach near-perfection and then Christ will make up the tiny remaining gap. Instead, he carefully re-centers the gospel on the reality that we come to Christ precisely because we cannot bridge the gap ourselves. This shift is pastoral but also profoundly theological; it reframes discipleship as a path of trust rather than self-salvation.
One of the book’s strengths is how concretely it speaks to discouragement. Hafen describes how life’s “broken heart” moments — grief, personal weakness, injustice, loss — are not evidence of divine neglect but invitations to experience the Savior’s healing and transforming power. He counsels against both perfectionism and casual complacency, pointing instead toward a “middle way of meekness” that acknowledges failure while holding onto hope.
Hafen writes as a teacher and fellow traveler, not a distant theologian. He uses vivid metaphors — such as the “piano lesson” of discipleship — and plain, emotionally resonant language that makes complex doctrine feel close to life. His examples draw from family life, professional disappointments, personal weakness, and the quiet, private struggles of ordinary Saints.
For readers wrestling with guilt, burnout, or quiet despair, The Broken Heart is a reassuring voice. It is equally helpful for those supporting others in pain — parents, leaders, teachers, friends. Above all, it is a witness that Christ’s love is not conditional on having solved our problems first; it is the lifeblood that enables growth and peace while we are still in process.
Quotes:
“The gospel of Jesus Christ is not a checklist of do-it-yourself requirements. It is a loving, divine plan to enable our eternal growth and joy. To suppose that we can reach our heavenly home by merely gritting our teeth and trying harder is to misunderstand the Atonement. Christ does not just fill the last gap after we have done all we can do; He fills the whole space of our inadequacy with His grace and invites us to walk with Him — broken hearts and all — as He patiently makes us whole.”
“To be brokenhearted is not to be defeated; it is to be humble enough to know our need for a Savior. In the moments when life seems unfair or our own efforts seem to fail, we are not abandoned. Those are the very moments when the love of God can enter our souls most deeply, if we will let it. His grace is not a distant reward at the end of perfect performance; it is the present, sustaining power that enables us to keep moving and to hope again.”
Bruce Hafen, or as we called him “The Hafe” was the dean of BYU law school. He was universally respected as a legal scholar and someone that saw ambiguity in matters of faith and gently tutored those of us that had personal interaction with him. The Broken Heart is a deeply thoughtful and pastoral exploration of how the doctrine of the Atonement of Jesus Christ meets real human experience — not in abstract theory, but at the point of our deepest wounds, discouragements, and moral failings. I read the book when I was a young bishop and needed a deeper understanding of the atonement to nurture the flock I was responsible for. The strength of the book is its plainspoken wisdom and its insistence that grace is not just for the end of life but for the whole journey.
Hafen begins by challenging a subtle but common misunderstanding among believers: that the Atonement is only operative after we have “done all we can do” — implying that we must reach near-perfection and then Christ will make up the tiny remaining gap. Instead, he carefully re-centers the gospel on the reality that we come to Christ precisely because we cannot bridge the gap ourselves. This shift is pastoral but also profoundly theological; it reframes discipleship as a path of trust rather than self-salvation.
One of the book’s strengths is how concretely it speaks to discouragement. Hafen describes how life’s “broken heart” moments — grief, personal weakness, injustice, loss — are not evidence of divine neglect but invitations to experience the Savior’s healing and transforming power. He counsels against both perfectionism and casual complacency, pointing instead toward a “middle way of meekness” that acknowledges failure while holding onto hope.
Hafen writes as a teacher and fellow traveler, not a distant theologian. He uses vivid metaphors — such as the “piano lesson” of discipleship — and plain, emotionally resonant language that makes complex doctrine feel close to life. His examples draw from family life, professional disappointments, personal weakness, and the quiet, private struggles of ordinary Saints.
For readers wrestling with guilt, burnout, or quiet despair, The Broken Heart is a reassuring voice. It is equally helpful for those supporting others in pain — parents, leaders, teachers, friends. Above all, it is a witness that Christ’s love is not conditional on having solved our problems first; it is the lifeblood that enables growth and peace while we are still in process.
Quotes:
“The gospel of Jesus Christ is not a checklist of do-it-yourself requirements. It is a loving, divine plan to enable our eternal growth and joy. To suppose that we can reach our heavenly home by merely gritting our teeth and trying harder is to misunderstand the Atonement. Christ does not just fill the last gap after we have done all we can do; He fills the whole space of our inadequacy with His grace and invites us to walk with Him — broken hearts and all — as He patiently makes us whole.”
“To be brokenhearted is not to be defeated; it is to be humble enough to know our need for a Savior. In the moments when life seems unfair or our own efforts seem to fail, we are not abandoned. Those are the very moments when the love of God can enter our souls most deeply, if we will let it. His grace is not a distant reward at the end of perfect performance; it is the present, sustaining power that enables us to keep moving and to hope again.”
May 17, 2017
This is technically the second book I added to my 'want to read' list here on Goodreads way back in March of 2009. I had bought it back then and just never felt in the mood to read it. One item on my reading goals for this year was to read the first book entered on my Goodreads to read list. (I decided last year that I didn't want to read the book that was really the first on the list, so removed it and gave the book away.) So, I have accomplished that.
Why did I wait so long? I found this book to be powerful and enlightening and encouraging and educational. (hmm, if I remove 'powerful' I will have pure alliteration in that description....)
Bruce Hafen is a lawyer and that is evident in his writing. Not that his writing is incomprehensible to a layman, but because he is direct and lays down the facts in a coherent manner and makes thoughtful connections and draws logical conclusions. I'm saying that about a book about a religious concept :) His writing is pleasant and not too difficult most of the time, although I admit that a second or third reading would probably help me understand things even better.
I am dismayed but not surprised that many members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints do not have a good understanding of the doctrine of their own faith. I hope that in the 9 years since this book was published that situation has improved. And no wonder the world has such a profound misconception of our beliefs, when the members of the church don't even get it. It isn't because it is hard. The doctrine is pretty plain and straight-forward. Let's just call it a too casual approach to learning and living the gospel. I am guilty of this, too.
The examples and comparisons and stories used all help bring a better understanding of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, the role of grace, and our part in it.
I appreciated the overviews of belief systems such as Calvinism and the brief history outlines.
Favorite chapters:
5 Two Cheers for Excellence - talking about the need for perspective and not letting our pursuit of 'rewards' and 'success' distract us from the real goal of this life: to love God and worship Him.
6 Obedience, Sacrifice, and a Contrite Spirit - a fascinating exploration of "those who demand too much of themselves...and those who do not demand enough of themselves," two sides of the same coin. "Both reflect a basic shallowness in their understanding of the purpose behind the commandments, the significance of one's internal motivation, and the meaning of the Atonement. At issue is their comprehension of the law of obedience and sacrifice - specifically, their readiness to offer the Lord and broken heart and a contrite spirit."
Pretty much the entire book. I have highlighted about 75% of it.
If I have any quibble, it is Hafen's apparent/obvious dislike of mental health counselors. If every person had the highest level of faith and commitment and relationship with Christ, therapy would not be needed, I agree. But I don't know many/any people like that. Sometimes we need professional help. It is important to find a therapist who will respect your beliefs. Most good therapists are simply trying to help you discover the tools available to you to break out of detrimental thought processes, which, coincidentally, will help you in your quest to develop that faith and commitment and relationship with Christ.
Why did I wait so long? I found this book to be powerful and enlightening and encouraging and educational. (hmm, if I remove 'powerful' I will have pure alliteration in that description....)
Bruce Hafen is a lawyer and that is evident in his writing. Not that his writing is incomprehensible to a layman, but because he is direct and lays down the facts in a coherent manner and makes thoughtful connections and draws logical conclusions. I'm saying that about a book about a religious concept :) His writing is pleasant and not too difficult most of the time, although I admit that a second or third reading would probably help me understand things even better.
I am dismayed but not surprised that many members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints do not have a good understanding of the doctrine of their own faith. I hope that in the 9 years since this book was published that situation has improved. And no wonder the world has such a profound misconception of our beliefs, when the members of the church don't even get it. It isn't because it is hard. The doctrine is pretty plain and straight-forward. Let's just call it a too casual approach to learning and living the gospel. I am guilty of this, too.
The examples and comparisons and stories used all help bring a better understanding of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, the role of grace, and our part in it.
I appreciated the overviews of belief systems such as Calvinism and the brief history outlines.
Favorite chapters:
5 Two Cheers for Excellence - talking about the need for perspective and not letting our pursuit of 'rewards' and 'success' distract us from the real goal of this life: to love God and worship Him.
6 Obedience, Sacrifice, and a Contrite Spirit - a fascinating exploration of "those who demand too much of themselves...and those who do not demand enough of themselves," two sides of the same coin. "Both reflect a basic shallowness in their understanding of the purpose behind the commandments, the significance of one's internal motivation, and the meaning of the Atonement. At issue is their comprehension of the law of obedience and sacrifice - specifically, their readiness to offer the Lord and broken heart and a contrite spirit."
Pretty much the entire book. I have highlighted about 75% of it.
If I have any quibble, it is Hafen's apparent/obvious dislike of mental health counselors. If every person had the highest level of faith and commitment and relationship with Christ, therapy would not be needed, I agree. But I don't know many/any people like that. Sometimes we need professional help. It is important to find a therapist who will respect your beliefs. Most good therapists are simply trying to help you discover the tools available to you to break out of detrimental thought processes, which, coincidentally, will help you in your quest to develop that faith and commitment and relationship with Christ.
September 27, 2016
For some reason, I found this book slower going than The Believing Heart, which is the first book in the set. It seemed more cerebral and had fewer illustrative stories to tug at my heart. And yet, as I thumbed through it after reading it, I noted the many insights that were new to me and quotes that I very much loved. For instance, I had never realized that "if we decline the Savior's invitation to let him carry our sins, and then satisfy justice by ourselves, we will not yet have experienced the complete rehabilitation that can occur thorough a combination of divine assistance and genuine repentance." Paying for sins is not the same as repenting, which moves us to become something better. Justification is not the same as sanctification.
I loved the comparison between the animal sacrifice of the Old Testament and the sacrifice of a broken heart of the New Testament. In the first we offer a possession; in the second we offer our own heart. Also, "one who offers an unblemished animal, the firstling of a flock, acts in similitude of the Father's sacrifice of his unblemished, firstborn Son. By contrast, one who offers his own broken heart acts in similitude of the Son's terribly personal sacrifice of himself."
The book explores beautifully the reasons for trials and tribulations and heartbreak in life as necessary elements in our growth. As Neal Maxwell is quoted in the book, "the soul is like a violin string--it makes music only when it is being stretched." Besides detailing the "mortal bitterness" in life, Elder Hafen explains how the "Atonement somehow releases the forces of grace, through which the Savior empowers and endows us with strength, capacity, hope, and other spiritual gifts we may need." One of my favorite chapters was about hope and how we reconcile the gap between "what is real and the ideal, between what is and what ought to be." Hope is a very real gift to help us deal with our own sense of personal inadequacy--neither erasing the gap by lowering standards and throwing out guilt, nor dishonestly ignoring the gap and pretending to be better than we are, but rather balancing with peace and patience the disparity as we slowly work toward narrowing what is with what can be in a process of time.
I loved the comparison between the animal sacrifice of the Old Testament and the sacrifice of a broken heart of the New Testament. In the first we offer a possession; in the second we offer our own heart. Also, "one who offers an unblemished animal, the firstling of a flock, acts in similitude of the Father's sacrifice of his unblemished, firstborn Son. By contrast, one who offers his own broken heart acts in similitude of the Son's terribly personal sacrifice of himself."
The book explores beautifully the reasons for trials and tribulations and heartbreak in life as necessary elements in our growth. As Neal Maxwell is quoted in the book, "the soul is like a violin string--it makes music only when it is being stretched." Besides detailing the "mortal bitterness" in life, Elder Hafen explains how the "Atonement somehow releases the forces of grace, through which the Savior empowers and endows us with strength, capacity, hope, and other spiritual gifts we may need." One of my favorite chapters was about hope and how we reconcile the gap between "what is real and the ideal, between what is and what ought to be." Hope is a very real gift to help us deal with our own sense of personal inadequacy--neither erasing the gap by lowering standards and throwing out guilt, nor dishonestly ignoring the gap and pretending to be better than we are, but rather balancing with peace and patience the disparity as we slowly work toward narrowing what is with what can be in a process of time.
March 20, 2017
The Broken Heart is one of the best inspirational books I have read. Even though it was written by an author who belongs to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I think it is applicable to many Christians.
While he discussed the Atonement in relation to sin and Jesus' sacrifice being able to cleanse us from it, he also explained ways in which it will also apply to our other shortcomings, imperfections, and to our suffering.
In one part he says, "We might think of the degree of our personal fault for the bad things that happen in our lives as a continuum ranging from sin to adversity, with the degree of our fault dropping from high at one end of the spectrum to zero at the other... Between the poles of sin and adversity along this fault-level continuum are such intermediate points as unwise choices and hasty judgments, in which it is often unclear just how much personal fault we bear for the bitter fruits we may taste or cause others to taste."
He also speaks of the pride we are subject to if we insist upon 'paying for our own sins' (beyond sincere repentance) instead of letting our Savior do it for us. "Justice is a law of balance and order and it must be satisfied, either through our payment or His. But if we decline the Savior's invitation to let Him carry our sins, and then satisfy justice by ourselves, we will not yet have experienced the complete rehabilitation that can occur through a combination of divine assistance and genuine repentance. Working together, those forces have the power permanently to change our hearts and our lies, preparing us for celestial life."
I enjoyed this book and was lifted up and inspired by its message.
While he discussed the Atonement in relation to sin and Jesus' sacrifice being able to cleanse us from it, he also explained ways in which it will also apply to our other shortcomings, imperfections, and to our suffering.
In one part he says, "We might think of the degree of our personal fault for the bad things that happen in our lives as a continuum ranging from sin to adversity, with the degree of our fault dropping from high at one end of the spectrum to zero at the other... Between the poles of sin and adversity along this fault-level continuum are such intermediate points as unwise choices and hasty judgments, in which it is often unclear just how much personal fault we bear for the bitter fruits we may taste or cause others to taste."
He also speaks of the pride we are subject to if we insist upon 'paying for our own sins' (beyond sincere repentance) instead of letting our Savior do it for us. "Justice is a law of balance and order and it must be satisfied, either through our payment or His. But if we decline the Savior's invitation to let Him carry our sins, and then satisfy justice by ourselves, we will not yet have experienced the complete rehabilitation that can occur through a combination of divine assistance and genuine repentance. Working together, those forces have the power permanently to change our hearts and our lies, preparing us for celestial life."
I enjoyed this book and was lifted up and inspired by its message.
June 2, 2016
I feel like my review couldn't do this book justice. Bruce C. Hafen is such a deep thinker and beautiful writer. I can only hope to ever be so wise. I gained new insights into Adam and Eve and the Fall, God's love for each of his us in his flock, and the Savior and his grace. I had to take the content in small chunks because it was so dense. I'd like revisit this book slowly now, taking time to digest the information and pondering how it informs my temple worship. This is a keeper!
"Whatever the source of our wandering, we are likely to have our own deep experience with Adam and Eve's life cycle, leaving God's presence for the lone and dreary world with the hope of returning to him someday when we are ready. If we in that dark tunnel do all we can, we will see at the tunnel's end the light of him who forgives, sweetens, and makes recompense for all our troubles. When we do return, offering our broken heart to him whose broken heart binds up our own, we will understand life in ways we could not have understood before leaving....Then we will understand what it means to say, 'I am his' and 'he is mine forever' [from hymn "The King of Love My Shepherd Is"]."
"Whatever the source of our wandering, we are likely to have our own deep experience with Adam and Eve's life cycle, leaving God's presence for the lone and dreary world with the hope of returning to him someday when we are ready. If we in that dark tunnel do all we can, we will see at the tunnel's end the light of him who forgives, sweetens, and makes recompense for all our troubles. When we do return, offering our broken heart to him whose broken heart binds up our own, we will understand life in ways we could not have understood before leaving....Then we will understand what it means to say, 'I am his' and 'he is mine forever' [from hymn "The King of Love My Shepherd Is"]."
May 15, 2015
I cannot express succinctly enough how enlightening this book was. Although it is impossible to fathom every aspect of the atonement, reading this book gave me a deeper appreciation for my Savior and what He did for all mankind. Life is hard. Sometimes we feel alone, lost, misunderstood, useless...but one of the most touching and hopeful quotes from this book says, "The times of feeling lost are not always times when we have wandered from the straight and narrow path. Not at all. We may be precisely where the Lord would have us be." Yet those adverse feelings come. Learning about the atonement and using its power in our lives is the only way to make it through the hard times. Christ isn't just the Way...He's the ONLY Way. Broken hearts turn themselves to Deity and when we apply the Atonement to our life (every aspect of it, not just sin), hope reigns. What this book teaches propagates that hope.
November 7, 2012
pg 11: "Could it be that the great 'at-one-ment' of Christ could put back together the broken parts and give beauty to the ashes of experience such as this?"
Love this idea that the bad things that happen to you, can come together to have some meaning and possibly even become beautiful.
pg 29: "The Atonement not only pays for our sins, it heals our wounds- the self-inflicted ones and those inflicted from sources beyond our control. The Atonement also completes the process of our learning by perfecting our nature and making us whole. In this way, Christ's Atonement makes us as he is. It is the ultimate source of our forgiveness, our protection, and our peace of mind." (powerful!)
Really enjoyed chapter one:
page 37: "The experience of Adam and Eve is an ideal prototype for our own mortal experience."
Lots of neat ideas in this chapter.
Love this idea that the bad things that happen to you, can come together to have some meaning and possibly even become beautiful.
pg 29: "The Atonement not only pays for our sins, it heals our wounds- the self-inflicted ones and those inflicted from sources beyond our control. The Atonement also completes the process of our learning by perfecting our nature and making us whole. In this way, Christ's Atonement makes us as he is. It is the ultimate source of our forgiveness, our protection, and our peace of mind." (powerful!)
Really enjoyed chapter one:
page 37: "The experience of Adam and Eve is an ideal prototype for our own mortal experience."
Lots of neat ideas in this chapter.
August 4, 2015
I feel guilty giving this book only three stars. I read the other reviews and they were all 5 stars with rave reviews...maybe the other readers are just smarter than I am, because I had a hard time "getting" this book. I didn't feel like it was too deep and yet after finishing the book, I felt like I didn't understand grace any better than I had before reading it. I actually felt more discouraged about how hard life is supposed to be, so that we can know the bitter and thus prize the sweet. I think at this point I'd like a little more of the sweet...enough of the bitter already. It was well written and had great examples, but for some reason it just didn't resonate with me. I'm not sorry I read this book, but I'm not sure if I would read it again. Hopefully something sunk into my brain that will help me better understand the Savior's Atonement.
July 2, 2015
One of the best gospel-themed/doctrinal books that I have ever read. Hafen put in writing some thoughts I've had on my own, as well as expanded those thoughts to some I had not yet considered in the same way. He explains how some of us (us as in members of the church) sometimes misunderstand such an essential part of the gospel as the atonement, yet how we can better apply the atonement in the journey of our experiences, not just our outright sins. He also talks a lot about how the journey of Adam and Eve is our journey, and he ties in a lot about the tree of knowledge of good and evil and the tree of life. I'm sure I could get more out of certain chapters if I re-read this one.
March 7, 2014
This was a truly remarkable read. It unlocked pieces of my mind and heart about the relationship between grace and works in so many enlightening ways. So faith promoting and took my level of understanding of the Atonement to a place of clarity like nothing else has before, making my personal ability to apply the principles of repentance in a more effective way, and really understanding what it means to have a broken heart and a contrite spirit. Obliterated any narrow view I had of the purpose, reach and effectiveness of Christ's sacrifice for me; and us all.
November 29, 2009
" The great Mediator asks for our repentance not because we must 'repay' him in exchange for him paying our debt to justice,but because repentance initiates a developmental process that, with the Savior's help leads us along the path to a saintly character." pg 149
I want/need to read this one again!
I want/need to read this one again!
June 11, 2011
I learned so much from reading this! I love anything Hafen writes. "The Savior has strength to compensate not only for our sins but also for our inadequacies; not only for our mistakes but also for our sins committed in ignorance, our errors of judgment, and our unavoidable imperfections." So, since I am certainly not perfect, its a "good news" read!
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