The Secret Life of Damian Spinelli: As Told To Diane Miller

by Carolyn Hennesy (as Diane Miller), Diane Miller

"Brusque Lady . . .
Please meet the Jackal at the bar in the Metro Court at 10:00 PM sharp. Although it is somewhat past my his bedtime, he must speak with you on a grave matter concerning many of your clientele. Do not fail me him.
Regards, The Jackal" So begins an evening unlike any other in Port Charles. When high-powered attorney Diane Miller agrees to meet with computer hacker extraordinaire Damian Spinelli, otherwise known as The Jackal, she knows she's in for an interesting night. But the stories he has to tell about some of Port Charles's most famous, and infamous, inhabitants are beyond her wildest imagination. Could these tales possibly be true? Or is Spinelli using her for some other purpose? From the deck of the Smilin' Lila to the halls of General Hospital, from the Case of the Vamping Valkyrie to the Case of the Contrived Contralto, here are Spinelli's tales of intrigue, kidnapping, murder, and more. The office of Spinelli/McCall, P.I., has never been busier. Spinelli may be a gumshoe like no other, but he will save, defend, and protect the citizens of Port Charles until the bitter end!

Genres: Fiction, Mystery, Humor, Adult Fiction

256 pages, Hardcover

First published March 29, 2011

About the author

Carolyn Hennesy, a Los Angeles native, has been in over 100 theatrical productions spanning the LA., regional and international theatre scenes. Having trained at American Conservatory Theatre and the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art, London as well as earning a dramatic scholarship to the California State University at Northridge, she has played such distinguished houses as the Mark Taper Forum, Arizona Theatre Company, Odyssey Theatre, Lobero Theatre and Geary Stage. She also studied with the Groundlings in the early ‘90s and became a member of the Sunday Company. From there she moved to the main company at the ACME Comedy Theatre where she performed for 5 years to critical acclaim. Carolyn is the 2000 recipient of the prestigious Natalie Schafer Award for Outstanding Comedic Actress given by the Los Angeles Drama Critics Circle and has been featured as an “Actor’s Actor” in the industry publication Backstage-West. She recently won the Ovation Award for her work in “The Fan Maroo” (Theatre of NOTE) and was an NAACP Award nominee for her ensemble work in “Uncle Tom’s Cabin” (Sacred Fools).

Notable theatre credits include: the long running and critically acclaimed “It’s Just Sex” (Zephyr Theatre), “Equinox” (Odyssey Theatre), “Two Rooms” (Santa Barbara Theatre Company), “View of the Dome” (Egyptian Arena Stage), “Tongue of a Bird” and “Nothing Sacred” (Mark Taper Forum), “The Heidi Chronicles” (Arizona Theatre Company), “Dangerous Liaisons,” “Julius Caesar,” and “The Lion In Winter” (Knightsbridge), and her one-woman show “Carolyn Hennesy’s Big Leap” (HBO Workspace). Films include “Terminator 3,” “Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde,” “The Cougar Club,” “Sublime,” “the Believers” and “Click”.

Television work includes many regular, guest star and recurring roles in everything from episodics to sit-coms, but she can now regularly be seen on ABC’s daytime drama “General Hospital” in the role of “Diane Miller,” Port Charles’ smart and sassy mob lawyer. In addition to a full-time acting career, Carolyn is also an author, proud shop-a-holic, unabashed foodie, teaches improvisational comedy, speaks American Sign Language (fairly well!) and studies the flying trapeze.

But more important than any of this: she is the fabulously happy new wife of actor Donald Agnelli.

Reviews

[EZRead eBookstore · Rating 2 out of 5]

It is never easy describing a book when all I can rank it with is a “so-so” rating. I didn’t hate it. I didn’t love it. I wanted to be sucked in like a speck of dust caught in the path of a vacuum cleaner. Sadly, this did not happen with the cases told by Damien Spinelli.

Though the stories and setting were modern, Spinelli’s story-telling method was like a time machine. Using nick names like “doll” while suiting up with suspenders and a fedora hat, I had to remind myself not to envision everything in black in white since the stories are set in 2011. Enjoyable, and rarely confusing, this perspective lent a humorous aspect to Spinelli’s point of view since Diane’s perspective is clearly in modern colors.

Revisiting the same characters throughout the stories was also fun. I was visiting new friends, getting to know them a little better with each new visit. Of course, being a soap- based novel, it’s expected to use the same characters living in Port Charles. If you are a follower of General Hospital, you will like this book all the more, though you need not to know the soap to follow along with the stories.

Spinelli’s mysteries were cute, but far from hair-raising. I suppose if I had actually developed a relationship with the characters of Port Charles I might have cared more when one - or five - of them went missing on different occasions. But, I was too perplexed with tales that involved un-aging men, adulterous men leading double lives, or murderous grandmothers who were too stupid to pull off their schemes. I just didn’t know why I should care.

Maybe it is just my love of the classics, but Sherlock Holmes just seemed so much classier, smarter, and most importantly, believable, when he would solve strange mysteries. In comparison, Spinelli is like Holmes’ nerdy second cousin, twice removed.

- EZ Read Staffer, Amelia

(see the recorded discussion here http://vimeo.com/24583738)

Buy the book here: http://www.ezread.com/book.asp?EAN=23...

[Erin]

Calling all General Hospital Fans!

[user · Rating 5 out of 5]

its good

[Sandy Branske · Rating 1 out of 5]

I consider it finished as I have no intention of ever reading more of it. I think I made it to chapter 4

[Mayra · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm a big fan of General Hospital. Have to say this was a dumb book.

[Annie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great if you are a long time GH viewer - really cracked me up!

[Dee · Rating 1 out of 5]

Could possibly be the worst book I've ever read and I'm a General Hospital Fan!

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Is this high literature? No, but it IS a must-read for recent General Hospital fans.

I've been a GH fan since the Spring of '84... and I know that because that is the year I lived in a dorm and a friend begged me to watch and tell her what happened on the days she had lab and I didn't. I got hooked.

In this book, Spinelli relates some of the cases he's been involved in that we haven't seen on the screen... possibly because they happened only in his head. But Hennesy hits it out of the park in terms of capturing the 'voice' of the Port Chuck denizens that inhabit these stories; not just her own inimitable Diane Miller and Spinelli, but Sonny, Carly, Sam, Elizabeth, and Monica. The case based upon Some Like It Hot is a HOOT (Jason, in drag?!?), but one of the best had to be the one with Alan in the bathroom.

Hennesy's Diane Miller is one of my favorite characters and I absolutely love her scenes with Alexis Davis, whether they are having a girl's outing or opposing one another in court. Keep 'em coming, Carolyn... we love you.

[Andy · Rating 3 out of 5]

In the interest of full disclosure I should say: Damian Spinelli is my favorite soap opera character ever so that mileage got this book probably an extra star more then I would’ve given it otherwise. This book is a great big mashup of soap opera characters and noir with Spinelli as Sam Spade.

One of the things that make it such an easy read is each chapter is its own case. It also definitely doesn’t take itself seriously, so read it and just enjoy how ridiculous it is, without trying to tie any one part to canon or reality for that matter. Also every character is an over the top rendition of themselves and the situations they get into are ludicrous even for a book based on a soap opera. Although I really do wish the book had been a group of real cases that Spinelli had worked on and then we could’ve had some real emotions and heart to the stories. Having said that I am glad I bought this book because aI don’t watch the show anymore and I missed Spinelli something fierce.

[Sandy Samuel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed these stories. Yes they are silly, but they are meant to be silly! Damian Spinelli is a character from General Hospital, as is Diane Miller, played by the marvelous Carolyn Hennesy, the author. She does a wonderful job describing the different cases and characters. Even though the characters aren't really true to their personas, it's fun to picture them in the different scenarios.

[Jackie · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you are not a fan of General Hospital there is absolutely no reason to read this book. If you do not like Spinelli, do not read this book. If you can’t remember the fantasy segments involving Spinelli, don’t read this book. If you can say yes to these statements, you will probably enjoy this book., otherwise, stay away.

[David · Rating 3 out of 5]

As my wife put it if you are not a fan of General Hospital you probably won’t like this book. It is wild with crazy tales far more hard to take than the Perils of Pauline. GH once did an hour of stories with their characters acting in very uncharacteristic ways. This is much like that hour put to print.

[Sayo -bibliotequeish-]

As with Love in Maine, how could I NOT get this book.
Any GH book (especially one about PC favorite hacker) is a must buy for me.
And written by Port Charles super star Mob lawyer... common.

[Wendy · Rating 5 out of 5]

These stories were hysterical. Had such fun reading this. I really felt for Diane as she listened to Spinelli spin his tales. Spinelli is one of my favorite GH characters, so I could easily picture him and Diane as I read the book, as well as the other characters that Spinelli mentioned in his stories.

[Debbie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a quick fun read. This is a book of tales from the character on General Hospital from his adventures . The Jackal asks Diane Millers for help to write down his words. He takes us on some of the adventures he has gone on and its done in a fun way. I really enjoyed this quick book.

[Sylvia J. · Rating 3 out of 5]

When I started reading this, I got such a kick out of it! I wanted to beg Carolyn Hennessey to write a sequel. But as these things do, it got a little old. So I decided to just parse them out and read them here or there. Very cute. Very clever. Enjoyable.

[Jenn Himes · Rating 5 out of 5]

If u love general hospital u will love this book. I miss spenelli on gh but he ia on and off . def pick this book up .

[Larissa · Rating 2 out of 5]

I love TH and could not wait to read this book. But I did not like this book at all. I could not picture Spinelli doing any of this stuff. And carrying a gun?

[Kelsey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love General Hospital. There were lots of characters from the show in this book that are viewed in a different light.

[Jenny Rudolph · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fun read!

[Lauren · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 Stars

[Amie Wagner Clark · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fun book. Was able to picture the scenarios since I know the characters all so well as a big General Hospital fan. Glad each story/case was pretty short.

[Sherrie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Unusual format, entertaining stories with the beloved characters of General Hospital.

[Cathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Many people don't realize that in addition to her terrific acting, Hennsy is also a well-established author. A lot of people were surprised when they first heard about this project, but I think that it makes lot of sense. Fans of all genres, books to sports, movies to politics, are always eager for tie-ins. So if you have a great author right on set, and funny characters you can take advantage of, not to mention a history of successful tie-ins (Robin's diary, right?), why not? And lo and behold, it worked! Online fans seem to either love or hate the idea, but shoppers seem to be pleased, the book made it to #10 on the New York Times Hardcover Fiction Best Seller List (week of April 24, 2011 for sales ending week of April 9, pretty darn impressive!) even before the cancellation of two of our beloved ABC shows was announced, just goes to show that soap fan loyalty still has some power. Too bad it's all going to end up going to fewer shows and internet soaps soon. OK, back to the book! Sorry for the rant, it's been rough week.

This is definitely a book for fans. If you aren't a fan of General Hospital it might serve as a good introduction to the show, or just be good for some laughs, but the real appeal is all of the inside jokes. Hennesy either has a terrific ear for dialog or got a helping hand from the show's writers, perhaps both, but she really captured the characters' nuances and details. Everyone will have their favorite moments, and I'm sure some people will have a few quibbles, but overall I enjoyed the book. It was silly, yes! But it was supposed to be. Spinelli is a silly but sweet character, but all of that bluster hides a heart of gold, just as all of Diane's brusqueness hides a tender heart as well. I've always loved their scenes on the show together and I thought the book captured Diane's reluctant respect and affection for Spinelli really well. Most of the chapters are a bit satirical, so if you can't laugh at the show a little then you might not take too well to this book. It just isn't meant to be taken too seriously, on any level. Taken in good fun, it's a great book with tons of laugh out loud moments. The parts I especially enjoyed were the mentions of Alice (no longer Big), the chapter with Tracy and Luke, Jax really being 67.5 (hilarious!), Carolyn getting her personal trapeze artist experience included in the material, and Sonny single-handedly populatin' Venezuela. The Some Like It Hot chapter was really funny too; I'd like to take credit for it since I remember Tweeting with Hennesy once about favorite old movies and mentioning it (and getting a reply), but since it's such a huge classic, I guess I can let it slide ;) That's part of the fun of social media though, it's nice to think that maybe somehow I added that tiny little bit of impetus that helped move that idea along. If not, at least maybe I'll get some of you guys to read the book and enjoy it, I know that that works!

[Amelia M.A. · Rating 2 out of 5]

It is never easy describing a book when all I can rank it with is a “so-so” rating. I didn’t hate it. I didn’t love it. I wanted to be sucked in like a speck of dust caught in the path of a vacuum cleaner. Sadly, this did not happen with the cases told by Damien Spinelli.

Though the stories and setting were modern, Spinelli’s story-telling method was like a time machine. Using nick names like “doll” while suiting up with suspenders and a fedora hat, I had to remind myself not to envision everything in black in white since the stories are set in 2011. Enjoyable, and rarely confusing, this perspective lent a humorous aspect to Spinelli’s point of view since Diane’s perspective is clearly in modern colors.

Revisiting the same characters throughout the stories was also fun. I was visiting new friends, getting to know them a little better with each new visit. Of course, being a soap- based novel, it’s expected to use the same characters living in Port Charles. If you are a follower of General Hospital, you will like this book all the more, though you need not to know the soap to follow along with the stories.

Spinelli’s mysteries were cute, but far from hair-raising. I suppose if I had actually developed a relationship with the characters of Port Charles I might have cared more when one - or five - of them went missing on different occasions. But, I was too perplexed with tales that involved un-aging men, adulterous men leading double lives, or murderous grandmothers who were too stupid to pull off their schemes. I just didn’t know why I should care.

Maybe it is just my love of the classics, but Sherlock Holmes just seemed so much classier, smarter, and most importantly, believable, when he would solve strange mysteries. In comparison, Spinelli is like Holmes’ nerdy second cousin, twice removed.

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you enjoy the daytime soap opera General Hospital, then you will for sure enjoy this book. It is hilarious, it is over-the-top, super geektastic as only one Damien Spinelli can be. The stories are embellished a great deal, the character's are engaging and likeable even when they're not trying to be, and Diane Miller is one hell of an amazing attorney.

I have loved Spinelli from the moment he graced my screen in 2006 and I continue to still love him today, all of his techo-babble, his serious geek status...he is simply put, a rockstar in his own way. Not to mention, I love the fact that he would move heaven and hell to the point of risking his own life to save the people that he cares about the most. That is who Spinelli is and that is how he's won the hearts of so many.

Watching him fall in love and embark on a relationship with Maxie, was truly an honor. The way he's so undeniably loyal to Jason "Stone Cold" and is such a wonderful endearing albiet sometimes annoying friend to Sam, and yes even his love for the Valkryie whom I personally detest; encompasses all of the reasons for which I love him.

What the actors brings to these two characters, Spinelli and Diane Miller every day, is truly spectacularly phenomenal. Run, do not walk, to your nearest book store and get your own copy of this book and devour it in one sitting like I did. You will not be disappointed. You will laugh all of the way through it, I did.

[Tami · Rating 2 out of 5]

General Hospital fans are familiar with the imaginary exploits of the Jackal. Also known as Damian Spinelli, the gangly, awkward computer genius fancies himself a private eye in the tradition of Sam Spade or Mike Hammer. At any random moment, he fades into daydreams of himself as the hero, saving the damsel (or would that be "broad"?). The publication of this collection of his fanciful escapades was part of the storyline on the show and then was released in the "real world".

I have been a GH fan for about thirty years. In fact, I can't remember exactly when I started watching, but I know it was before we got married in 1982. While I love the character of Spinelli, these daydream sequences have not really been my cup of tea (cup of joe?). I'm not sure what made me think I would like them more in print. This collection holds some appeal to hard-core General Hospital fans and is, at points, quite funny. I get that these are Spinelli's over-the-top fantasies, but at times they take the familiar characters so far outside their usual personalities that it becomes annoying. For someone with no background on the characters, it would make no sense at all.

While I can't give this book my full recommendation, GH followers - and especially Spinelli groupies - will get a chuckle and some extra time with their favorite Port Charles-ites.

http://tdreads.blogspot.com/2011/06/s...

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

When I first saw the advertisement for The Secret Life of Damien Spinelli by Carolyn Hennesy, I laughed. I watch General Hospital from time to time, and he's a real quirky, smart kind of guy. I saw in my local library, and said why not give it a try; after all it wasn't costing me a thing.

Spinelli sat down with Diane Miller and told her about the cases he solved over the last couple years. In one night, he shares all his escapades, leading up to the one that might take his life. Throughout the tales, Diane questions the actual facts of the information he is sharing. But in order to get him to get to the end of his storytelling, she tries her best to stay quiet. Did Spinelli really experience all these things? Will Diane get the end of the story? Or, will she be left with an unsolved case of whodunit?

This story was ridiculous. Seriously, the way Spinelli was figuring out all these cases and his extensive knowledge made me scratch my head in frustration. I liked the characters, because of their history on General Hospital. The plot could have been better, which would help the believability of the overall story. The "gumshoe" PI talk was head shaking material and a say what know. If you live these characters from the soaps, then you can give the book a chance.

Characters: 4
Plot: 2.5
Believability: 2.5

Total rating: 3

Jennifer Coissiere
Words Mosaic Review

[Jamie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had high expectations for this book because I love General Hospital, and have been a fan for many years. So, I assumed the book would be as fantastic as the show. Of course, I should not have thought that, because Carolyn Hennesy does not write the show (thankfully).

Honestly, some stories were funny, while others were ... well, they were stupid. I felt that Hennesy failed to capture the essence of the characters, which therefore made her interpretation of them seem like a mockery. This was difficult for me to overlook, and made want to stop reading. I also wanted to stop reading because it was so BORING! There were times when I could not read more than five sentences without wanting to put the book down to stare at the wall.

Overall, The Secret Life of Damian Spinelli by Carolyn Hennesy was a disappointment.

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Of course it is not a requirement that you be a fan of General Hospital, but it sure helps as far as getting the humor. Most of the characters are represented in an alternate reality, usually as far opposite their actual character on the show. Example: Jason Morgan as a piccolo player, or Elizabeth Webber as a weight lifter. I'm sure the stories would work without the background, but the true GH fan will get the most out of it. Ms. Miller, ahem, Hennesy, has either watched the show as long as I have or did some mighty fine research into the backstories of the GH universe. Really fun, super fast, great summer read.