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Gift of the Red Bird: The Story of a Divine Encounter
When Paula D'Arcy lost her husband and baby in a car crash, she began an inner search for a faith that was stronger than fear. She tells her story of spiritual exhaustion, her journey alone into the wilderness for three days, and the renewal she was blessed to experience. Now with reflection guide for reading groups.
152 pages, Paperback
First published October 15, 1996
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 99 reviews
January 15, 2016
Amazing, and deeply convicting.
In 1975 Paula D'Arcy, her husband husband and her daughter were involved in car accident with a drunk driver. Paula's husband and daughter were killed. Paula survived. 6 months later, Paula gave birth to her 2nd daughter.
Her process of grieving, being a widow at 27, being a mother to her newborn daughter, being a single-mom, making a living, and trying to go forward are all captured in this book. The culmination is Paula's 3 day wilderness retreat and fast.
A very memorable quote:
"Maybe when I cling to people, I dim them, too. I separate them from their own inner roots. I help them to believe that they are dependent on me, or that the hunger in their bellies is a cry for me. I convince us both. And then we never hear the cry of hunger which is for God. I eat and drink and distract myself too much with noise and activity to have ever felt this deeper hunger, but it is there."
In 1975 Paula D'Arcy, her husband husband and her daughter were involved in car accident with a drunk driver. Paula's husband and daughter were killed. Paula survived. 6 months later, Paula gave birth to her 2nd daughter.
Her process of grieving, being a widow at 27, being a mother to her newborn daughter, being a single-mom, making a living, and trying to go forward are all captured in this book. The culmination is Paula's 3 day wilderness retreat and fast.
A very memorable quote:
"Maybe when I cling to people, I dim them, too. I separate them from their own inner roots. I help them to believe that they are dependent on me, or that the hunger in their bellies is a cry for me. I convince us both. And then we never hear the cry of hunger which is for God. I eat and drink and distract myself too much with noise and activity to have ever felt this deeper hunger, but it is there."
November 24, 2017
I love cardinals - they’ve always held a special place in my heart. My mom used to tell me when I was little they were Gods way of showing us his love by these little majestic red birds. This book just warmed my heart.
September 28, 2023
Not for me. Without meaning to diminish the incredible hardship and loss this author faced… the narrative of her spiritual journey in the years following didn’t really register. More like haphazard ramblings of personal reflections, nature encounters, family gatherings with sprinkles of prayer & scripture. And a red bird.
May 15, 2013
Beautifully written and very thought provoking. Makes you rethink on what we should worry about and what is truly important or not.
May 20, 2018
Stirring and revealing. Authentic and transparent. Well written and engaging. Being present, mindful and aware.
October 24, 2015
Not what I expected.....there are only a few references to a red bird in the whoever book. I read it specifically because the title drew me, but the title does not fit the content. Change the the title to something about a spiritual journey and it'd be closer to what the book is about....and that spiritual journey is an interesting and worthwhile read.
January 2, 2013
Have read and reread several times during some difficult times. There is a red bird in my life! Found the book comfort for my heart!
August 9, 2012
Highly recommend for working through grief and loss of a loved one.
February 25, 2020
Gift of the Red Bird: The Story of a Divine Encounter is an interesting little book. It is the author's story of how she struggled with God after the death of her husband and young daughter while she survived while pregnant with a second daughter. As someone who had walked away from the church earlier in her life this tragedy caused her to wrestle with God fiercely. I feel though that this doesn't completely do justice to what her book was about though.
In some ways it is more about how during some difficult times in her life D'Arcy was met by God in different ways. The big one being the accident that caused her to lose her husband and daughter. However, she also describes another time where she basically wears herself down in all of her activity that she is doing for God while not really leaving time to be in relationship with him. The third big moment is where the image from the title comes from. D'Arcy plans to spend three and nights out in the wilderness to find solitude. While all of these maybe stem from that initial accident, they are at different times in her life.
I thought that she presented an honest struggle with grief and how God responded to her in that time. It is hard to imagine what she went through and I'll be honest in saying that I don't really want to find out. It was also interesting to see how that struggle manifested itself in different ways over time and God's continued reminder to not cling to what she wants and has so tightly.
Now while I thought it was a good book a couple issues stand out to me with it. The first is the title. It's not really a great title for the book. The title only really comes into play over three-quarters of the way through the book. The first four chapters will be devoid of red birds and you just are left wondering what is this whole red bird thing about. The book seems about more than the red bird, even though that is a meaningful symbol in the chapter you find it.
The other issue I have is that the spirituality of the book is just kind of vague. It seems kind of Christian, she quotes the Bible a good number of times, but but at the same time it just seems a little undefined. Now this could just be to be sensitive to those who maybe aren't at that point in their spirituality, so just trying to focus on the more general idea of God and that's okay. It's just not clear and it seems like sometimes she's trying to say that anything too structured is inferior, which is true to a point. It's not something that bothers me too much since the book can be used within a Christian context fairly easily. It was just an area that was unclear to me and one I felt that may be good to know going in.
Overall though it's an interesting little read that left me with some things to think over. It's a short and fairly quick read, even given the rough experiences she's struggling through. The title is a bit misleading and the spirituality may be a bit too vague for some. It may just also be a bit odd for a lot of people as it tends toward a more contemplative or mystical experience of God, even her bit about the animals in her wilderness experience reminds me of some of the stories of like St. Francis or other saints who have had interesting experiences with animals. While there is precedent for these kind of experiences, they aren't commonly presented. So that maybe a bit strange for some. However, I do think it is a book worth checking out, even if it may not be the most comfortable for a number of reasons.
In some ways it is more about how during some difficult times in her life D'Arcy was met by God in different ways. The big one being the accident that caused her to lose her husband and daughter. However, she also describes another time where she basically wears herself down in all of her activity that she is doing for God while not really leaving time to be in relationship with him. The third big moment is where the image from the title comes from. D'Arcy plans to spend three and nights out in the wilderness to find solitude. While all of these maybe stem from that initial accident, they are at different times in her life.
I thought that she presented an honest struggle with grief and how God responded to her in that time. It is hard to imagine what she went through and I'll be honest in saying that I don't really want to find out. It was also interesting to see how that struggle manifested itself in different ways over time and God's continued reminder to not cling to what she wants and has so tightly.
Now while I thought it was a good book a couple issues stand out to me with it. The first is the title. It's not really a great title for the book. The title only really comes into play over three-quarters of the way through the book. The first four chapters will be devoid of red birds and you just are left wondering what is this whole red bird thing about. The book seems about more than the red bird, even though that is a meaningful symbol in the chapter you find it.
The other issue I have is that the spirituality of the book is just kind of vague. It seems kind of Christian, she quotes the Bible a good number of times, but but at the same time it just seems a little undefined. Now this could just be to be sensitive to those who maybe aren't at that point in their spirituality, so just trying to focus on the more general idea of God and that's okay. It's just not clear and it seems like sometimes she's trying to say that anything too structured is inferior, which is true to a point. It's not something that bothers me too much since the book can be used within a Christian context fairly easily. It was just an area that was unclear to me and one I felt that may be good to know going in.
Overall though it's an interesting little read that left me with some things to think over. It's a short and fairly quick read, even given the rough experiences she's struggling through. The title is a bit misleading and the spirituality may be a bit too vague for some. It may just also be a bit odd for a lot of people as it tends toward a more contemplative or mystical experience of God, even her bit about the animals in her wilderness experience reminds me of some of the stories of like St. Francis or other saints who have had interesting experiences with animals. While there is precedent for these kind of experiences, they aren't commonly presented. So that maybe a bit strange for some. However, I do think it is a book worth checking out, even if it may not be the most comfortable for a number of reasons.
January 14, 2019
This book was a little different for me and from time to time I thought that it would get too deep into the mystical. Don't get me wrong, I don't totally dislike that, it's just that I view visions and voices with skepticism. Fortunately it was more about the author's view and interaction with the divine based on her thoughts and her openness to the wilderness within and without.
When at 27, a newly pregnant D'Arcy survives a horrible car accident that takes the life of her 2 year old daughter and her husband, she is, naturally, thrown into a deep despair. Now, broken, she faces an unexpected future and can barely bring herself to prepare for the birth of the child within. She claws back to reality as she recognizes her emptiness as a way of finding God and in her first honest prayer, whispers, "God, if you are really out there, help me. Let me find you." As the days follow, her largest question of God is "Why? After months of this she feels a presence within that tells her she is not alone, and begins to learn that she has never been alone, and that it is her choice to decide how to face the future. This continues until the night of her daughter's birth and a complete surrender to God.
As with all of us, life gets in the way and D'Arcy, who had become a public speaker talking about her faith, gave more and more hours to her activities and unwittingly robbed herself of her interior time. This was a slow, unnoticed problem that culminated in a feeling of distress, and finally total exhaustion and a stubborn minor llness that left her unable to do anything but lie in bed and sleep for eight months. Through this experience she finally sees she must address her busyness, her need to do everything, and her lack of time in prayer.
D'Arcy slowly begins to heal, to say "no" to commitments that will not assist her in recovery, and pray more. In her prayer and searching she decides to go on a vision quest. This event requires quite a commitment in time of preparation and the initial group goes from 50 people at the initial meeting to four through the rigorous and frightening preparation time. The final step is three days and nights alone in the wilderness, fasting. This is definitely a point of skepticism for me, but rather tantalizing. While she details her experience, she does not reveal her exact struggles or turn the reader into a skeptic.
D'Arcy is still involved in speaking and spirituality practices.
When at 27, a newly pregnant D'Arcy survives a horrible car accident that takes the life of her 2 year old daughter and her husband, she is, naturally, thrown into a deep despair. Now, broken, she faces an unexpected future and can barely bring herself to prepare for the birth of the child within. She claws back to reality as she recognizes her emptiness as a way of finding God and in her first honest prayer, whispers, "God, if you are really out there, help me. Let me find you." As the days follow, her largest question of God is "Why? After months of this she feels a presence within that tells her she is not alone, and begins to learn that she has never been alone, and that it is her choice to decide how to face the future. This continues until the night of her daughter's birth and a complete surrender to God.
As with all of us, life gets in the way and D'Arcy, who had become a public speaker talking about her faith, gave more and more hours to her activities and unwittingly robbed herself of her interior time. This was a slow, unnoticed problem that culminated in a feeling of distress, and finally total exhaustion and a stubborn minor llness that left her unable to do anything but lie in bed and sleep for eight months. Through this experience she finally sees she must address her busyness, her need to do everything, and her lack of time in prayer.
D'Arcy slowly begins to heal, to say "no" to commitments that will not assist her in recovery, and pray more. In her prayer and searching she decides to go on a vision quest. This event requires quite a commitment in time of preparation and the initial group goes from 50 people at the initial meeting to four through the rigorous and frightening preparation time. The final step is three days and nights alone in the wilderness, fasting. This is definitely a point of skepticism for me, but rather tantalizing. While she details her experience, she does not reveal her exact struggles or turn the reader into a skeptic.
D'Arcy is still involved in speaking and spirituality practices.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 21, 2019
This book is provides a glimpse into a woman’s journey from physical and spiritual brokenness to a place of peace and acceptance. The book is divided into six parts including the author’s early relationship with God, the tragic death of her husband and two year old daughter, raising a second daughter alone, removing herself from religion, reconnecting with God in her forties and going on a self imposed religious quest.
During Paula’s religious quest, she realizes that the world is much bigger than she is and that God is constantly speaking to her through the animals in the woods. As she becomes more attuned with her surroundings in nature, a red bird becomes her daily companion and she grows to depend on seeing the bird. Even when a storm bears down on her location, Paula views this as God telling her to trust the storm and not fear it for he will bring her through it.
The main message I took from this book is that the divine is everywhere and in everything. Although you call the divine different names (God, Allah, Buddha,etc,) the reality is that everything that exists is a visual expression of God.
In addition, I really liked the line in the book “lean into your fear, not away. Make fear your ally. I wonder how much more we all could accomplish in life and the world if we didn’t live in fear but rather embraced fear as a natural part of life. Personally, this was just the book I needed to read to give permission to live a more fearless and appreciative life.
During Paula’s religious quest, she realizes that the world is much bigger than she is and that God is constantly speaking to her through the animals in the woods. As she becomes more attuned with her surroundings in nature, a red bird becomes her daily companion and she grows to depend on seeing the bird. Even when a storm bears down on her location, Paula views this as God telling her to trust the storm and not fear it for he will bring her through it.
The main message I took from this book is that the divine is everywhere and in everything. Although you call the divine different names (God, Allah, Buddha,etc,) the reality is that everything that exists is a visual expression of God.
In addition, I really liked the line in the book “lean into your fear, not away. Make fear your ally. I wonder how much more we all could accomplish in life and the world if we didn’t live in fear but rather embraced fear as a natural part of life. Personally, this was just the book I needed to read to give permission to live a more fearless and appreciative life.
November 27, 2022
This book was incredible. I’ve never felt so seen while reading a book but every page seemed to hold something I could relate to or a word of encouragement I needed to hear.
A few quotes of the many I wrote down:
“I am learning to walk the path I am on, not the one which is behind me, or the one which lies ahead.” (72)
“I watch the water and think of letting love flow through me, instead of trying to hold on to it. The supply is from God. There will be enough.” (99)
“How can our lives become so full that God calls, and we do not even hear? How can we miss that we are in the presence of extravagant Love?” (140)
A few quotes of the many I wrote down:
“I am learning to walk the path I am on, not the one which is behind me, or the one which lies ahead.” (72)
“I watch the water and think of letting love flow through me, instead of trying to hold on to it. The supply is from God. There will be enough.” (99)
“How can our lives become so full that God calls, and we do not even hear? How can we miss that we are in the presence of extravagant Love?” (140)
October 10, 2017
Paula did a great job with this book. I recently went through a loss and I have never gone through the grieving process before (I'm still a teenager), and reading this helped me view this event in a different way. It helped me look to God and helped me reach out to others to help support me through that time. She made me feel like I was not alone, I felt comforted by her words. And now, everytime i see a cardinal, I think of my best friend who has passed. It is a very comforting sight and thought now, rather than an intense sadness.
March 4, 2022
Given to me as a birthday gift, a story of getting through the dark and seeing the light. Sent to me at dark time in my life and at first I was like what is this corny piece of work. But as I read I understood the nuances, maybe God won’t call out to me saying “Paula I have a mission for you” but he will teach me to bond and not bind, to find balance and to find hope in small places, remember that not everything has meaning necessarily, but it is your responsibility to find meaning.
March 21, 2022
I take away a lot of inspiration from someone like Paula who experienced so much tragic loss and finds a way out of that tremendous dark place. Such strength and courage. I applaud you and would love to hear her speak or do a retreat where she is a speaker. The red bird has always been a sign for me and my family as well....a visit from a loved one who has passed. A beautiful and heartfelt book about grace and hope.
April 15, 2023
I read this book as part of our Christian book club. I probably would never picked it up on my own but I am glad Melanie selected it because it is so beautiful and spoke to me so profoundly. It is about the author going to stay alone without food or books for 3 days and about what she learned about herself and about God in those days. It is about how we are afraid to move outside the familiar and to be free to accept the messages God gives us to see in so many ways.
May 24, 2024
Spiritually moving. Saw another review that disregarded the profound abstractness of the book, for it was direct lessons they sought from this read. But, truly, there is a lesson to be found in each chapter--perhaps even on each page. The Universe is in everything and everyone, and to be nurtured it is the Universe we must first nurture ourselves. I am still learning to sit down with it and share a cup of coffee.
July 5, 2020
A powerful and beautiful book that I suspect that I will return to again and again. The book's gentle wisdom was perfectly timed and EXACTLY what I needed to hear during these difficult, hard days in human history. A profound and wise personal story ... remarkable and beautifully written. Highly recommended ...
December 8, 2018
The journey described by the author clearly was a turning point in her life. Twenty-two years later, I think a lot of thinking about the issues she struggled with as changed so it wasn't really that revelatory to me, but I'm glad I read it.
December 14, 2023
Such a small yet powerfully important story for all who journey on a spiritual pathway. Her story is very specific to her need and quest but it begs the question for us all to take a much more in depth look at who we are as we attempt to find God in our lives.
February 8, 2024
While being a quick and easy read, this is a wonderfully contemplative book that asks readers to always be present with God. I needed this read to remind me that being in a “slow” season is just as much a battle as all my other seasons!
February 23, 2018
Amazing!
May 14, 2018
Lovely writings about the connectedness of all creatures, including us with God.
August 9, 2018
I just loved this book! So inspirational!
September 28, 2018
Great story of strength
June 25, 2019
Lovely story of self-discovery and communion with God. I found myself making notes of some wonderful insights that I would like to draw on in the future. Quick and worthwile read.
July 16, 2019
This book made me cry....the sad loss of the author....turns into a revelation of God’s still small voice. This book is a journey well worth taking.
November 6, 2019
Inspirational
May 9, 2020
Very thoughtful. Enjoyed the author's details and thought provoking questions.
July 28, 2020
Beautiful and moving sharing of the author's journey through unbelievable grief. There really is "the other side" of grief where you know it's there but not all consuming.
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