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How To Be Alone: an 800-mile hike on the Arizona Trail
In 2017, stuck in a loop of codependency and people-pleasing, 32-year-old novice backpacker Nicole Antoinette sets off to find her self-belief and inner resilience by doing something she does not for one second believe she can actually do: solo- hike all 800 miles of the rugged Arizona Trail.
The guiding question she brings with her is this: What do we find when we push ourselves further than we ever thought we could go?
How To Be Alone: an 800-mile hike on the Arizona Trail is a cathartic adventure memoir that explores the privilege to be able to choose your own suffering, as well as the process of becoming a better friend to yourself along the way.
The guiding question she brings with her is this: What do we find when we push ourselves further than we ever thought we could go?
How To Be Alone: an 800-mile hike on the Arizona Trail is a cathartic adventure memoir that explores the privilege to be able to choose your own suffering, as well as the process of becoming a better friend to yourself along the way.
334 pages, Kindle Edition
Published April 3, 2023
58 people are currently reading
1482 people want to read
About the author
Nicole Antoinette
2 books34 followersNicole Antoinette is a former indoor kid who never imagined she'd wind up spending months of each year pooping in the woods. You can learn more about her books and other work at backpackingbooks.com, and follow her hikes on Instagram at @nic.antoinette
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 67 reviews
May 3, 2023
I was so excited for this book. I love Nicole’s writing. I’ve been following her journey since her PCT hike and have always loved her introspection and the honest questions and thoughts she has about her life. And maybe, admittedly, this is my fault because I knew this was essentially her trail journal. But I was disappointed. The vast majority of this book is more of a description of the day to day and less introspection herself/life etc. There are only so many ways you can describe breaking down a tent and walking. It would have been nice to hear more on her struggling with loneliness, the conversations she had in her head, what she realized etc.
April 9, 2024
A few times it got tedious but as a thru-hiker I understand how that happens, otherwise it was a great, fast read. I laughed at what I highlighted vs what everyone else did…yeah the quotes were nice but I particularly resonated with all of the exasperation about finding a campsite, food, water, and the exhilaration of a zero day!
April 29, 2023
This book makes me want to adventure.❤️
June 24, 2023
I read this more as a cautionary tale, even though the author obviously survived this dangerous hike and went on to write about it. I decided early on in this memoir that I'd be reading it primarily in order to learn from the author's mistakes. Because she was so fixated on her anxiety of the daily unknowns (Do I have enough water to make it to the next source? Will I find a safe place to pitch my tent before the sun sets? Will an animal eat my face in my sleep?) she had a hard time truly appreciating (or at least writing in depth about) the beauty of the landscape she was moving through, learning about herself, and celebrating her own toughness. Every day was an antagonistic battle between her and the trail. And I get that that is the reality of thru-hiking, but I wish it hadn't been the primary focus of this memoir. I wish it had more depth and self realization.
December 14, 2023
This book could have been filled with interesting introspection, but it's really not. I find that the story lacks substance.
Another thing; I'm impressed by her ability to muscle through hard times during the hike, but at the same time I'm baffled by how poorly prepared she is by not having enough warm gear, choosing to not have cooking gear with her to save weight, the poor food choices and not being able to feed herself properly when she's hungry. This could have been an entrance to a deep dive into her personal history, but the author leaves me with all her complaints, and no further investigation in the subject.
I just can't finish this repetitive story. It gets two 🌟🌟 because I find her very brave, and it's a cool project. But to me, this story could have been told with much more depth.
Another thing; I'm impressed by her ability to muscle through hard times during the hike, but at the same time I'm baffled by how poorly prepared she is by not having enough warm gear, choosing to not have cooking gear with her to save weight, the poor food choices and not being able to feed herself properly when she's hungry. This could have been an entrance to a deep dive into her personal history, but the author leaves me with all her complaints, and no further investigation in the subject.
I just can't finish this repetitive story. It gets two 🌟🌟 because I find her very brave, and it's a cool project. But to me, this story could have been told with much more depth.
April 24, 2023
“No one can tell what goes on in between the person you were and the person you become. No one can chart that blue and lonely section of hell. There are no maps of the change. You just come out the other side. Or you don’t.” -Stephen King
June 26, 2023
A great travelogue, but not necessarily a great book. The story was repetitive and overly simple. Too much exposition and not enough scene setting and storytelling. While noble in concept and I believe a really authentic recounting of an experience, it just had the vibe of another book published because the author had a social platform and large following and the publishing company knew they could easily sell copies, and not because the writing was tight and compelling. It felt like a first draft that could have used more editing and introspection before publishing and I'd honestly put that fault more on the publishing company than the author.
April 24, 2022
I absolutely LOVED this and eagerly devoured every word. The ups and downs, the brutal honestly, the balance of inner monologue and outer conditions... It was definitely worth the read. Insightful, interesting, relatable, inspirational.
April 10, 2025
I enjoy any hiking book but this is written as more of a day to day diary entry, pulling inspirational quotes from other authors. It’s always interesting reading about thru hiking, but it was just ok.
June 26, 2025
yeah pretty good! proud of Nicole for doing that whole hike solo that’s brave af.
February 5, 2025
A simultaneously easy and frustrating read. First, it is clear that nicole had a deeply moving experience- good for her! But as a lifelong Arizona resident who grew up romping around outside, I found her choices deeply irresponsible and dangerous. I am happy she made it and had the revelations she needed- but the book doesn't acknowledge the fact that going out into the wilderness and toying with dehydration is sooo dangerous and so many people get severely injured or die! The "just go beast mode" mentality won't solve heat exhaustion or severe dehydration.
Given that the nature of through hiking is tedious and repetitive, it shouldn't have been a surprise that this book was also tedious and repetitive. I think translating the experience of hiking like this is tricky, and the book could be boiled into ... hike hike hike, leg hurt, ration food/water, feel scared/lonely, pep talk, feel great, look for camp, no sleep, rest day.... rinse wash repeat...
Given that the nature of through hiking is tedious and repetitive, it shouldn't have been a surprise that this book was also tedious and repetitive. I think translating the experience of hiking like this is tricky, and the book could be boiled into ... hike hike hike, leg hurt, ration food/water, feel scared/lonely, pep talk, feel great, look for camp, no sleep, rest day.... rinse wash repeat...
June 6, 2023
So I think, for me, this quote sums up this book: "I scoot down into my sleeping bag [at a site chosen for cell reception], gleeful at the chance to text people and scroll through Instagram all night, to not spend the evening feeling lonely..."
The AZ Trail: 800 miles of cow poop water (or no water), dirt roads instead of trails, catclaw acacia and other bloodthirsty plants, cold nights, hot days, wind, and general hellish torment. But hey! There's Insta!
As a solo backpacker, I've never actually gone anywhere in the backcountry that had cell coverage. I feel like that's something I expect from wilderness. It's more a feature than a bug.
There's no doubt that the author accomplished something hard. Her weight carried and daily mileage are eye-opening. The sheer amount of physical and emotional suffering captured on every page is exhausting just to read. The AZ Trail is in no way on my to-hike list.
It's also noticeable that only a few spots get any description in terms other than how horrible they were to hike through. Wildlife are scary, when mentioned. Ecosystems consist of the hot, cold, thorny, hard to walk through, etc. and nothing more. We hear about literally every meal she ate (often in her tent, if I read that right, which is weird for someone scared of bears) and a whole lot of aches and pains -- but we don't hear about conservation, public lands issues, or any of the animals (except for bugs and the ones the author is scared of), plants (except for the ones sticking spines in the author at any given moment), geology (except when the trail is rocky), scenery (except for brief mentions at extra-amazing spots like the Grand Canyon). The effect is to give the book the navel-gazy, claustrophobic feel of an ordeal that we endure along with the author rather than ever being able to transcend it.
For me, it's hard to feel like a little less self-involvement would have made this a better hiking memoir and a more interesting read.
The AZ Trail: 800 miles of cow poop water (or no water), dirt roads instead of trails, catclaw acacia and other bloodthirsty plants, cold nights, hot days, wind, and general hellish torment. But hey! There's Insta!
As a solo backpacker, I've never actually gone anywhere in the backcountry that had cell coverage. I feel like that's something I expect from wilderness. It's more a feature than a bug.
There's no doubt that the author accomplished something hard. Her weight carried and daily mileage are eye-opening. The sheer amount of physical and emotional suffering captured on every page is exhausting just to read. The AZ Trail is in no way on my to-hike list.
It's also noticeable that only a few spots get any description in terms other than how horrible they were to hike through. Wildlife are scary, when mentioned. Ecosystems consist of the hot, cold, thorny, hard to walk through, etc. and nothing more. We hear about literally every meal she ate (often in her tent, if I read that right, which is weird for someone scared of bears) and a whole lot of aches and pains -- but we don't hear about conservation, public lands issues, or any of the animals (except for bugs and the ones the author is scared of), plants (except for the ones sticking spines in the author at any given moment), geology (except when the trail is rocky), scenery (except for brief mentions at extra-amazing spots like the Grand Canyon). The effect is to give the book the navel-gazy, claustrophobic feel of an ordeal that we endure along with the author rather than ever being able to transcend it.
For me, it's hard to feel like a little less self-involvement would have made this a better hiking memoir and a more interesting read.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 27, 2023
Reading Nicole Antoinette’s book How To Be Alone: An 800-mile hike on the Arizona Trail felt more like getting reacquainted with an old, familiar story than a new one.
That’s in part because the book draws heavily on the Instagram captions Antoinette wrote from the trail. Those posts—rich in detail, fresh, open, immediate—had a profound effect on me. They became the model for my own trail journals. And they inspired a persistent, irrepressible desire to hike the Arizona Trail.
So when I read, “I am a raw little nerve, a hollow shell,” I remembered that turn of phrase! I remembered the filthy water sources, filled with algae and flies and cow shit; the elk noises she Googled from inside her tent; the chocolate almond milk; the trail angel kittens. I reread those stories with pleasure—and speed. I ate up How To Be Alone in just two days, and it would have been one if they weren’t work days.
But it was also familiar because Antoinette vividly captures the embodied experience of thru-hiking. Anyone who has gone on a longish backpacking trip will nod in recognition at her litany of aches and pains, the way the brain and body fixates on food (and, in bone-dry Arizona, water), and the mental calculus necessary to get from here to there by when.
Read more: https://pinchofdirt.substack.com/p/ha...
That’s in part because the book draws heavily on the Instagram captions Antoinette wrote from the trail. Those posts—rich in detail, fresh, open, immediate—had a profound effect on me. They became the model for my own trail journals. And they inspired a persistent, irrepressible desire to hike the Arizona Trail.
So when I read, “I am a raw little nerve, a hollow shell,” I remembered that turn of phrase! I remembered the filthy water sources, filled with algae and flies and cow shit; the elk noises she Googled from inside her tent; the chocolate almond milk; the trail angel kittens. I reread those stories with pleasure—and speed. I ate up How To Be Alone in just two days, and it would have been one if they weren’t work days.
But it was also familiar because Antoinette vividly captures the embodied experience of thru-hiking. Anyone who has gone on a longish backpacking trip will nod in recognition at her litany of aches and pains, the way the brain and body fixates on food (and, in bone-dry Arizona, water), and the mental calculus necessary to get from here to there by when.
Read more: https://pinchofdirt.substack.com/p/ha...
June 5, 2023
“That’s how we grow: by doing one small thing at a time that we never thought we’d be brave enough to do.”
Hiking 800 miles in 44 days through wild Arizona deserts, mountains, canyons and forests may not seem like a small thing but throughout the course of this journey Nicole describes the daily moments and decisions that keep her moving forward on the trail - one small thing at a time.
It’s a testament to Nicole’s vivid and vulnerable writing that I finished this book longing for an adventure of my own - despite the many hardships and low points she describes (including filtering water scooped from a cow poop lined pond and hours spent getting cut up on thorny, overgrown sections of trail). It’s clear that part of the euphoria of the journey is making it through those challenges. In pushing past her own limits, Nicole finds herself more fully appreciating and savoring the beauty and victories on her journey.
I came to this book as a follower of Nicole’s IG and Substack. If you’re not already following her engaging musings there, I recommend this book if you enjoy hiking, outdoor adventures and/or personal narratives that will leave you pondering what you need to live more bravely and authentically in your own life.
Hiking 800 miles in 44 days through wild Arizona deserts, mountains, canyons and forests may not seem like a small thing but throughout the course of this journey Nicole describes the daily moments and decisions that keep her moving forward on the trail - one small thing at a time.
It’s a testament to Nicole’s vivid and vulnerable writing that I finished this book longing for an adventure of my own - despite the many hardships and low points she describes (including filtering water scooped from a cow poop lined pond and hours spent getting cut up on thorny, overgrown sections of trail). It’s clear that part of the euphoria of the journey is making it through those challenges. In pushing past her own limits, Nicole finds herself more fully appreciating and savoring the beauty and victories on her journey.
I came to this book as a follower of Nicole’s IG and Substack. If you’re not already following her engaging musings there, I recommend this book if you enjoy hiking, outdoor adventures and/or personal narratives that will leave you pondering what you need to live more bravely and authentically in your own life.
April 19, 2023
I’ve gotten hours and hours of entertainment out of Nicole Antoinette’s honest conversations since first discovering her podcasts, the Pop-Up Pod and Real Talk Radio, a few months ago. I was super excited when I saw she was releasing a book, but I’d never read a trail journal, and I’m not very familiar with long-distance hiking. Would it be boring, monotonous? Or sugarcoated and full of platitudes? As it turns out, all my fears were completely unfounded, and I devoured How To Be Alone in a matter of days. The book is gripping and visceral, and I found myself unable to put it down as I cheered Nicole on. She is such a likable narrator, so honest and brave, and she sure makes 800 days of walking alone captivating! I learned a lot about hiking, but learned even more about challenge, courage, and showing up for yourself when it’s hardest to. I recommend How To Be Alone for anyone who is at a crossroads in their own life, anyone who needs some strength, and anyone who is a fan of honest conversations.
July 27, 2025
I picked this up expecting some deep revelations about being alone and finding yourself in nature, but immediately saw that wouldn’t be the case. I could not get past my annoyance of her poor food choices (tortilla chips, Oreos, chocolate bars?), lack of understanding of the need for proper hydration (continually running out, carrying plastic Smart Water bottles), and inability to disconnect from technology (listening to the Twilight series, choosing camp sites based on cell service to be able to text and scroll Instagram?). I put this down for almost 3 months after reading the first 100 pages in one sitting, then decided to suffer through finishing on the off chance it would get better and there would be something fantastic that developed (nope).
Really glad she made it through the whole hike and don’t discredit her being a “badass bitch”, but disappointed in the overall read. Maybe I was hoping too much for something like Wild or Eat, Pray, Love? Still makes me want to try out a solo thru hike to make some better choices…
Really glad she made it through the whole hike and don’t discredit her being a “badass bitch”, but disappointed in the overall read. Maybe I was hoping too much for something like Wild or Eat, Pray, Love? Still makes me want to try out a solo thru hike to make some better choices…
April 19, 2023
I really enjoyed this quick AZT trail story.
Nicole describes life on trail with a beautiful simplicity that never felt tired or repetitive. Thru-hiking is inherently repetitive, but she did a great job of balancing the truthfulness of day to day life with diverse and unique descriptions of the landscape. Her mood swings are natural to new long-distance hikers and they were never written with indulgence, unlike many other hiking memoirs I've read. She also included plenty of the deliciously poignant philosophical thoughts that had me inspired and tearing up as if I was there on her journey.
Nicole is a wonderful role model for any female interested in solitary hiking adventures and I look forward to reading more from her!
Nicole describes life on trail with a beautiful simplicity that never felt tired or repetitive. Thru-hiking is inherently repetitive, but she did a great job of balancing the truthfulness of day to day life with diverse and unique descriptions of the landscape. Her mood swings are natural to new long-distance hikers and they were never written with indulgence, unlike many other hiking memoirs I've read. She also included plenty of the deliciously poignant philosophical thoughts that had me inspired and tearing up as if I was there on her journey.
Nicole is a wonderful role model for any female interested in solitary hiking adventures and I look forward to reading more from her!
April 24, 2023
I bought this book because I wanted to support the author who I’ve followed on Instagram for a few years now as I love her writing! To be honest I wasn’t quite sure what to expect and.. I love this book. “Cathartic adventure memoir” sums it up perfectly! I feel like I can’t properly do it justice through a review.. if you’re remotely interested in self-exploration and/or hiking and/or doing hard things I think you will really like this book! I’ll be thinking about it any time I feel like I’m not capable of doing something :) and I’m really happy I got a paperback copy because the cover has a very nice feel to it and I know I’ll be picking it up to read back through random parts in the future!
September 10, 2021
It’s very much a trail journal, but having followed Nicole on Instagram for ages, it was very much in the style of her trail posts. It was a great read - very up and down with so much insight into what motivates a person when they’re faced with fear and hard things, and oh my days when she got to the END - I was so proud and teary and just, I thought it was great. Although, she talked so much about food (as fair, she was a hiker hiking ridiculous amounts everyday) that I empathetically ate so many chips as I read (not ideal, as a person that does more sitting than moving).
It was a great read. I enjoyed it!
It was a great read. I enjoyed it!
April 6, 2023
I hadn't heard of Nicole before reading this but happened across it on pub day. I started reading and literally could not put it down; I stayed up way too late reading and finished the book the next day. As soon as I turned off my Kindle, I told my husband, "this book makes me want to do something that feels impossible." Maybe not an 800-mile hike, but still. Looking forward to reading her second book!
April 8, 2023
It’s like I was right there on the trail..
I LOVED this book. Nicole’s style of writing is so enchanting that I felt like I was right there on the trail with her. I experienced the disappointments and the triumphs as if they were my own. For anyone who loves hiking, read this book! You will be able to relate to everything she’s feeling. Her journey on the trail is a true reflection of how life feels sometimes-the good, the bad, and the ugly. What a boss Bi*ch!!
I LOVED this book. Nicole’s style of writing is so enchanting that I felt like I was right there on the trail with her. I experienced the disappointments and the triumphs as if they were my own. For anyone who loves hiking, read this book! You will be able to relate to everything she’s feeling. Her journey on the trail is a true reflection of how life feels sometimes-the good, the bad, and the ugly. What a boss Bi*ch!!
December 27, 2023
One of my favorite books I have read. This trail journal was great to read while out camping in the Florida wilderness. The author talks about running out of water and having to decide whether to filter from cow dung pools or not. It made it seem luxurious to eat oatmeal and pasta over a camp stove while showering with a squeeze bottle. This was a great story of perseverance and self-discovery in a beautiful landscape.
March 26, 2024
Loved it
I loved this book, always looking for ways to step outside my box and I enjoyed living vicariously through Nicoles journey. Her self doubt/self love/ self care hit close to home even though Im much older and in a different stage of life…our questions and doubts are similar and how she handled her situations struck a cord. I laughed at so many of her comments, felt like crying when she struggled and was excited for her when she finished. Highly recommend!
I loved this book, always looking for ways to step outside my box and I enjoyed living vicariously through Nicoles journey. Her self doubt/self love/ self care hit close to home even though Im much older and in a different stage of life…our questions and doubts are similar and how she handled her situations struck a cord. I laughed at so many of her comments, felt like crying when she struggled and was excited for her when she finished. Highly recommend!
June 2, 2024
Good hiking book
I liked this book. Loved the details and it basically taught me as I read the book even though that wasn’t its point. A little too much extra curse words at times, not all the time, but the author was being real with her emotions. I liked the writing style as it made it an easy read. Overall a really interesting book that clues one in on how to hike and how to learn to mange on your own out on the trail.
I liked this book. Loved the details and it basically taught me as I read the book even though that wasn’t its point. A little too much extra curse words at times, not all the time, but the author was being real with her emotions. I liked the writing style as it made it an easy read. Overall a really interesting book that clues one in on how to hike and how to learn to mange on your own out on the trail.
November 26, 2024
The hiker hunger, the desperation of trying to find a good campsite on a cold, windy night, the internal debate over whether to carry extra water or sacrifice the security for a lighter pack... she was able to describe these in a way every thru-hiker can probably relate. But the day by day descriptions were a bit tedious (although, it might be that it's more fun to be doing the adventure/hike/trip than to just read about it, and that's not the author's fault)
April 8, 2023
4.5 stars
I know the author peripherally and have followed her on instagram for years
Her writing is so, so good.
I wish she would have included more of her back story into the book, to give more context for why she needed to hike.
But the hike itself was told so vividly, I felt like I was there too.
I know the author peripherally and have followed her on instagram for years
Her writing is so, so good.
I wish she would have included more of her back story into the book, to give more context for why she needed to hike.
But the hike itself was told so vividly, I felt like I was there too.
December 1, 2023
It’s not just about hiking
The descriptions about the trials and tribulations of
hiking and the rugged and beautiful scenery are all there. But the gift of the book is really being in the mind of Nicole, being Nicole, knowing her thoughts and her emotions, joys and fears. That is what makes the book so worthy of a read.
The descriptions about the trials and tribulations of
hiking and the rugged and beautiful scenery are all there. But the gift of the book is really being in the mind of Nicole, being Nicole, knowing her thoughts and her emotions, joys and fears. That is what makes the book so worthy of a read.
April 29, 2024
I wanted more than basic descriptions of what her day on the trail - but only because it felt like I was reading the same thing over and over. I want to give this a 3.5 but can’t give it a 4. If you’re considering a thru hike I think it’s worth reading. And it definitely makes me never want to hike the azt in one full swoop.
May 3, 2024
3.5 ⭐️ felt quite repetitive cos of the context of the book- hiking. But enjoyed the internal dialogue of the author. Makes me feel that i can do hard things… makes me feel like i can do anything i put my heart to it!! Also, there were quite good quotes but had to pull myself through to get to the end…
December 31, 2024
I bailed out on this book because the author just whined and whined about herself and her inability to follow rules and make good decisions. It was not about the AZ Trail at all. I felt like it was a bait and switch book- here, read this book about the AZ Trail, haha, it's really about me. There are too many good books to read rather than finish a terrible one like this.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 67 reviews