Daddy Do You Love Me?

by Ariel Allison

The United States is the world's leader in fatherless families.  Marginalized by society into a distant and unemotional role as the family's bread winner, we are only now beginning to understand the devestating effect of emotionally distant fathers on their daughters' health and well-being-- and for some, even on their spirituality.

Millions of women have suffered physical and emotional scars due to absent fathers, and have experienced the painful void not having this vital connection has created.  Both authors write from personal experience overcoming emotionally distant fathers, offering practical solutions and hope for healing this emotional and spiritual rift.

From how to forgive an abusive father, coping with loneliness, to nuturing healthy relationships, and much more-- this book is a tremendously empowering and enriching journey for women out of sadness and pain, breaking a legacy of loneliness and regret, to a renewed hope for their lives.  Included are chapter questions, pages for journaling, and a list of counseling resources.

Genres: Christian

Nook

First published July 1, 2006

Reviews

[Jeff Bobin · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked this up a while ago at a Family Life Conference because as a pastor this is a question I often hear ask in a number of different ways. Many young women and adults are really questioning if they were loved by their fathers. My hope was that this book would be a book of hope for those struggling with the relationship with their father.

Let me start out by saying that while this book was written by women and mainly for women it may have a greater impact on men that are willing to read it. As I read through the stories of the authors and other women that had poor or damaging relationships with their fathers and the pain came through so clearly I thought there is a lot of men out there that should hear the depth of the pain their actions cause the very ones that should be able to look to them for love and support.

According to Divorce magazine the United States is the world leader of fatherless families. There is a tremendous increase in fatherless families not only from divorce but the unwed mothers as well. If you include the number of homes that a father is there but not really active in their daughter’s life the numbers are staggering.

The authors of are both living out the experience of broken relationships with their fathers. One has a father that she is rebuilding a relationship with and the other her father is dead. Both reconnected with a father that had hurt them deeply and they share their journey of healing that continues today. They share their stories along with the stories of many other women and their longing to be their daddy’s little princess and the delight of his eye. Many of the stories will break your heart as they take you through abandonment, in and out of the home, emotional, verbal, physical and sexual abuse, and the hurt of words and actions.

Many men walk out of their children’s lives every day and the damage is tremendous. Since the relationship with their father is designed to be the first model girls have for what a man is to be and looks to them to learn about relationships with men the impact is lifelong.

A key point is that it is never too late to begin the healing process. For men an important point is that it is never too late to begin being the father you should have been from the beginning. The hard part is that you have to make the decision to take the risk to start and the truth is that you may have to do it alone and that at times it will never be what you want it or need it to be.

One of the key points is that God is the model of a perfect father and the one that we can first look to experience that perfect love. The difficulty that is often faced is understanding that God is the perfect model for a father rather than our father being a model for God.

A word of caution for women that have experienced a broken relationship with your father is that this book will at times be difficult and painful to read. It will probably make you angry and at times you may find it frustrating. There are some statements made that I question that are pretty blanket and may need to be tempered. That said, it is worth taking the journey and my prayer is that it would start many daughters and fathers on a path to new life.

[Felicia Vaughn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this book as part of my book club. This book helped to promote healing in my life. I, actually, wrote a letter to mom and dad through the inspiration I received from reading this book. What I learned helped me to unload, privately, pain I didn't even realize I was carrying from the past. It, also, was a tool to strengthen my relationship with my Heavenly Father, too. Grateful to have been introduced to this book.

[Bookwormmmm · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's hard to read this book. As a daughter of a narcissistic father, I'll have to admit, it was way way way harder , than anything, any suffering, to have a father, that simply, doesn't love you.

It was a hard journey. It was a hard destination. It was hard choices.

.....

I am reading this book, because, days I have been torturing myself for I have been "loving" someone, just to slowly unfold the fact that, maybe I am just, falling in love with a reflection of my father. The one who carries the worst qualities of my father, perhaps those stroke a chord in why I have laid my eyes on him.

Why am I here? Why do I love the person I love? Why do I fell in love with this specific person?

So many questions being asked. It originates to one point - the relationship with my .. sadly, abusive father.