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When We Become Ours: A YA Adoptee Anthology – An Emotion-Filled Collection for Teens Exploring Growing Up Adopted
"An emotion-filled collection." — Kirkus Reviews Two teens take the stage and find their voice . . . A girl learns about her heritage and begins to find her community . . . A sister is haunted by the ghosts of loved ones lost . . . There is no universal adoption experience, and no two adoptees have the same story. This anthology for teens edited by Shannon Gibney and Nicole Chung contains a wide range of powerful, poignant, and evocative stories in a variety of genres. These tales from fifteen bestselling, acclaimed, and emerging adoptee authors genuinely and authentically reflect the complexity, breadth, and depth of adoptee experiences. This groundbreaking collection centers what it’s like growing up as an adoptee. These are stories by adoptees, for adoptees, reclaiming their own narratives. With stories
351 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 24, 2023
25 people are currently reading
3038 people want to read
About the author
Shannon Gibney
25 books116 followersShannon Gibney was born in 1975, in Ann Arbor, Michigan. She was adopted by Jim and Sue Gibney about five months later, and grew up with her two (biological) brothers, Jon and Ben.
Shannon has loved to read and to write as far back as she can remember. When she was in second grade, she started making “books” about her family’s camping trips, and later graduated to a series on three sibling detectives in fourth grade.When she was 15, her father gave her James Baldwin’s Tell Me How Long the Train’s Been Gone, a book that changed her life and made her see the possibilities of the written word. The novel took a long, difficult look at relations between Blacks and Whites, the poor and the rich, gay and straight people, and fused searing honesty with metaphorical beauty. After this experience, Shannon knew that she needed to read everything Baldwin had ever written, and also that she wanted to emulate his strategy of telling the most dangerous, and therefore liberating kind of truth, through writing.
High school was a time for tremendous growth for Shannon, as she had the opportunity to attend Community High, a place that nurtured independence and creativity. At Carnegie Mellon University, Shannon majored in Creative Writing and Spanish, graduating with highest honors in 1997. She was awarded their Alumni Study/Travel Award, and used it to travel to Ghana to collect information for a short story collection on relationships between African Americans and continental Africans.
At Indiana University’s Graduate Creative Writing Program, Shannon honed her understanding of the basic elements of story-writing. She was in Bloomington from 1999 to 2002, and earned an M.A. in 20th Century African American Literature, as well as her M.F.A. while she was there. As Indiana Review editor, she conceived of the literary journal’s first “Writers of Color” special issue, and brought it to fruition, also in 2002.
Shannon has called Minneapolis home since 2002. She moved there right after completing her graduate work at Indiana, and took a job at the Minnesota Spokesman-Recorder, the state’s oldest Black newspaper. A three-year stint as managing editor of this 75-year-old publication introduced Shannon to the vibrant, growing, and diverse Black community in the Twin Cities, and also gave her vital insight into the inner-workings of a weekly newspaper. When she left in 2005, Shannon had written well over 100 news and features stories for the paper.
The Bush Artist Fellows Program took Shannon’s daily life in a new direction. In 2005, she was awarded a grant, which allowed her to quit her job at the Spokesman, and devote most of her time to her creative work.
After completing her Bush fellowhip in summer 2007, Shannon joined the faculty in English at Minneapolis Community and Technical College (MCTC) in the fall, and became Full-Time Unlimited (FTU) faculty there in 2009. She lives with her son Boisey, and daughter Marwein, in the Powderhorn neighborhood of South Minneapolis.
Shannon’s Young Adult (YA) novel SEE NO COLOR was published by Carolrhoda Lab, a division of Lerner Publications, in November, 2015, and subsequently won a 2016 Minnesota Book Award in the category of Literature for Young Adults. She was also awarded a $25,000 2015 McKnight Artist Fellowship for Writers, administered by the Loft Literary Center. She used the funds to support work on a family memoir, tentatively titled Love Across the Middle Passage: Making an African/African American Family.
Other publications this year include a short story in the Sky Blue Water anthology of children’s literature from Minnesota writers, the opening essay in the critically-acclaimed and popular A Good Time for the Truth: Race in Minnesota anthology, edited by Sun Yung Shin. The Star Tribune published an excerpt of Shannon’s essay “Fear of a Black Mother,” which you can read here.
In 2017, look for Shannon’s short story “Salvation,” in Eric Smith’s new anthology of adoption-
Shannon has loved to read and to write as far back as she can remember. When she was in second grade, she started making “books” about her family’s camping trips, and later graduated to a series on three sibling detectives in fourth grade.When she was 15, her father gave her James Baldwin’s Tell Me How Long the Train’s Been Gone, a book that changed her life and made her see the possibilities of the written word. The novel took a long, difficult look at relations between Blacks and Whites, the poor and the rich, gay and straight people, and fused searing honesty with metaphorical beauty. After this experience, Shannon knew that she needed to read everything Baldwin had ever written, and also that she wanted to emulate his strategy of telling the most dangerous, and therefore liberating kind of truth, through writing.
High school was a time for tremendous growth for Shannon, as she had the opportunity to attend Community High, a place that nurtured independence and creativity. At Carnegie Mellon University, Shannon majored in Creative Writing and Spanish, graduating with highest honors in 1997. She was awarded their Alumni Study/Travel Award, and used it to travel to Ghana to collect information for a short story collection on relationships between African Americans and continental Africans.
At Indiana University’s Graduate Creative Writing Program, Shannon honed her understanding of the basic elements of story-writing. She was in Bloomington from 1999 to 2002, and earned an M.A. in 20th Century African American Literature, as well as her M.F.A. while she was there. As Indiana Review editor, she conceived of the literary journal’s first “Writers of Color” special issue, and brought it to fruition, also in 2002.
Shannon has called Minneapolis home since 2002. She moved there right after completing her graduate work at Indiana, and took a job at the Minnesota Spokesman-Recorder, the state’s oldest Black newspaper. A three-year stint as managing editor of this 75-year-old publication introduced Shannon to the vibrant, growing, and diverse Black community in the Twin Cities, and also gave her vital insight into the inner-workings of a weekly newspaper. When she left in 2005, Shannon had written well over 100 news and features stories for the paper.
The Bush Artist Fellows Program took Shannon’s daily life in a new direction. In 2005, she was awarded a grant, which allowed her to quit her job at the Spokesman, and devote most of her time to her creative work.
After completing her Bush fellowhip in summer 2007, Shannon joined the faculty in English at Minneapolis Community and Technical College (MCTC) in the fall, and became Full-Time Unlimited (FTU) faculty there in 2009. She lives with her son Boisey, and daughter Marwein, in the Powderhorn neighborhood of South Minneapolis.
Shannon’s Young Adult (YA) novel SEE NO COLOR was published by Carolrhoda Lab, a division of Lerner Publications, in November, 2015, and subsequently won a 2016 Minnesota Book Award in the category of Literature for Young Adults. She was also awarded a $25,000 2015 McKnight Artist Fellowship for Writers, administered by the Loft Literary Center. She used the funds to support work on a family memoir, tentatively titled Love Across the Middle Passage: Making an African/African American Family.
Other publications this year include a short story in the Sky Blue Water anthology of children’s literature from Minnesota writers, the opening essay in the critically-acclaimed and popular A Good Time for the Truth: Race in Minnesota anthology, edited by Sun Yung Shin. The Star Tribune published an excerpt of Shannon’s essay “Fear of a Black Mother,” which you can read here.
In 2017, look for Shannon’s short story “Salvation,” in Eric Smith’s new anthology of adoption-
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 61 reviews
October 26, 2023
In a Nutshell: An #OwnVoices anthology focussed on transracial adoptive experiences, written by adoptee YA authors. Love the themes and the intent. The stories were a mixed bag for me, but that’s partly because I am not a big YA fan.
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This is an anthology of fifteen stories, each written by an adoptee author. In fact, not just adoptee, but a transracial adoptee. The central character in each story is also a transracial adoptee, thereby giving the author a chance to imbue their protagonists with authenticity. The stories come from varied genres such as drama, sci-fi, and fantasy. The adoptees are also cross-cultural, coming from backgrounds as varied as Black, South Asian, East Asian, Mexican, and Indigenous American.
I am not at all a fan of YA writing, but I couldn’t resist this collection for various reasons. The title, the cover, the theme, the authors and their OwnVoices credentials – all ensured that I grabbed this as soon as I saw it, keeping my apprehensions about the YA factor aside. Thankfully, the writing in more than half of the stories was not typical YA in style.
Most of my friends know my passion for author's notes in anthologies. I love knowing the theme and the approach through the writers’ perspectives. In this book, I was spoilt for choice. There's a foreword by Rebecca Carroll (a transracial adoptee and a writer/producer), an introduction by the two editors (which would have been marvellous to read but was missing from my ARC 🙁), an afterword by Dr. JaeRan Kim (a transracial adoptee and an associate professor at the University of Washington), and an author's note as well. There is also a further reading list.
As the central theme is transracial adoption, every single story features a protagonist who is dealing with conflicted emotions not just related to being adopted but also about not fitting in with their family in terms of looks/skin colour. A couple of the stories also have the protagonists struggling with gender or sexual identity issues, thereby adding a third layer of inner turmoil to the plot. While all the protagonists are teens, their age-related behaviour is balanced with their honest feelings about their adoptive status.
Many of the stories do justice to the entire theme. A few seem to focus more either on the racial aspects or on the adoption aspects, but not on both. However, as race and adoption are equal parts of the theme and so relevant in today's world especially to youngsters, I appreciate both the approaches. In some stories, the race/adoption problem stays in the background while the central conflict of the story is something else altogether. These are my least favourite ones, as they do not stay true to the core intent.
While the writing is very much YA in essence (I can’t complain about this as it is meant to be a YA anthology), some of the stories show a depth much beyond what is common in this genre. These tales end up being thought-provoking, revealing to us how difficult it is to fit in when everything, including our own skin colour, tells us that we are misfits. The racial identity crisis comes across prominently through this anthology.
At the same time, I had expected a greater emotional impact considering the theme, but most left me feeling untouched. Could this be because of the YA factor? I am not sure. But one thing I appreciate was that most of the stories had an individuality to them. I never felt like there was a repetition in the content, despite the theme’s being so specific.
As always, I rated the stories individually. My rating factored in not just my enjoyment of the story but also how adequately the story did justice to the theme. Of the fifteen stories, five reached or crossed the four star mark. The rest were mostly clustered around the 3-star mark, with just a couple of duds.
These were my favourites from this set:
All in all, I’d still recommend this anthology. We need more inclusive OwnVoices works, and with such an authentic array of voices as in this story collection, it would be silly to miss out on some genuine experiences about being a transracial adoptee. I am sure YA readers will connect with these to an even greater extent.
3.6 stars, based on the average of my individual ratings for each story.
My thanks to HarperCollins Children's Books and NetGalley for the DRC of “When We Become Ours”. This review is voluntary and contains my honest opinion about the book.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Connect with me through:
My Blog | The StoryGraph | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is an anthology of fifteen stories, each written by an adoptee author. In fact, not just adoptee, but a transracial adoptee. The central character in each story is also a transracial adoptee, thereby giving the author a chance to imbue their protagonists with authenticity. The stories come from varied genres such as drama, sci-fi, and fantasy. The adoptees are also cross-cultural, coming from backgrounds as varied as Black, South Asian, East Asian, Mexican, and Indigenous American.
I am not at all a fan of YA writing, but I couldn’t resist this collection for various reasons. The title, the cover, the theme, the authors and their OwnVoices credentials – all ensured that I grabbed this as soon as I saw it, keeping my apprehensions about the YA factor aside. Thankfully, the writing in more than half of the stories was not typical YA in style.
Most of my friends know my passion for author's notes in anthologies. I love knowing the theme and the approach through the writers’ perspectives. In this book, I was spoilt for choice. There's a foreword by Rebecca Carroll (a transracial adoptee and a writer/producer), an introduction by the two editors (which would have been marvellous to read but was missing from my ARC 🙁), an afterword by Dr. JaeRan Kim (a transracial adoptee and an associate professor at the University of Washington), and an author's note as well. There is also a further reading list.
As the central theme is transracial adoption, every single story features a protagonist who is dealing with conflicted emotions not just related to being adopted but also about not fitting in with their family in terms of looks/skin colour. A couple of the stories also have the protagonists struggling with gender or sexual identity issues, thereby adding a third layer of inner turmoil to the plot. While all the protagonists are teens, their age-related behaviour is balanced with their honest feelings about their adoptive status.
Many of the stories do justice to the entire theme. A few seem to focus more either on the racial aspects or on the adoption aspects, but not on both. However, as race and adoption are equal parts of the theme and so relevant in today's world especially to youngsters, I appreciate both the approaches. In some stories, the race/adoption problem stays in the background while the central conflict of the story is something else altogether. These are my least favourite ones, as they do not stay true to the core intent.
While the writing is very much YA in essence (I can’t complain about this as it is meant to be a YA anthology), some of the stories show a depth much beyond what is common in this genre. These tales end up being thought-provoking, revealing to us how difficult it is to fit in when everything, including our own skin colour, tells us that we are misfits. The racial identity crisis comes across prominently through this anthology.
At the same time, I had expected a greater emotional impact considering the theme, but most left me feeling untouched. Could this be because of the YA factor? I am not sure. But one thing I appreciate was that most of the stories had an individuality to them. I never felt like there was a repetition in the content, despite the theme’s being so specific.
As always, I rated the stories individually. My rating factored in not just my enjoyment of the story but also how adequately the story did justice to the theme. Of the fifteen stories, five reached or crossed the four star mark. The rest were mostly clustered around the 3-star mark, with just a couple of duds.
These were my favourites from this set:
💐 Cora and Benji's Great Escape - Mariama J. Lockington: An interesting story about how a white parent goes out of the way to learn more about her adopted daughter’s Black origins, without understanding what her daughter actually wants. This was among the most heartfelt stories in the book, and that caused me to see many things with a new perspective. - 🌟🌟🌟🌟💫
💐 Shawl Dance - Susan Harness: Loved the perspective of the Indigenous protagonist in this impactful tale. The information I learnt from this story was astounding, but it also felt somewhat like social commentary. Nevertheless, a great read overall. - 🌟🌟🌟🌟💫
💐 Truffles (or Don't Worry, the Dog Will Be Fine) - Eric Smith: Using a disabled puppy to dig home the problem of being a misfit and feeling unwanted in your own home? Me likey. - 🌟🌟🌟🌟💫
💐 Catch - Nicole Chung: While the story was simple in plot and structure, I loved the way it was written. Rare for a short story to make me feel so connected to the characters. - 🌟🌟🌟🌟
💐 Deadwood - Kelley Baker: The only story to have a grandparent rather than a parent in a key role. Liked the buildup and the ending in this one. - 🌟🌟🌟🌟
All in all, I’d still recommend this anthology. We need more inclusive OwnVoices works, and with such an authentic array of voices as in this story collection, it would be silly to miss out on some genuine experiences about being a transracial adoptee. I am sure YA readers will connect with these to an even greater extent.
3.6 stars, based on the average of my individual ratings for each story.
My thanks to HarperCollins Children's Books and NetGalley for the DRC of “When We Become Ours”. This review is voluntary and contains my honest opinion about the book.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Connect with me through:
My Blog | The StoryGraph | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter
October 13, 2023
(Disclaimer: I received this book from the publisher. This has not impacted my review which is unbiased and honest.)
As a transracial adoptee, there was no way I was not going to read When We Became Ours. This anthology means more to me than words. Growing up I never saw stories about adopted kids. This anthology soothes a wound I didn't have words for until now. In this genre bending anthology, these fellow adoptees navigate feelings of family and belonging. Of growing up as a person of color and feeling that as something familiar and foreign in faces on the streets like us.
As a transracial adoptee, there was no way I was not going to read When We Became Ours. This anthology means more to me than words. Growing up I never saw stories about adopted kids. This anthology soothes a wound I didn't have words for until now. In this genre bending anthology, these fellow adoptees navigate feelings of family and belonging. Of growing up as a person of color and feeling that as something familiar and foreign in faces on the streets like us.
June 29, 2023
Short stories about adoptee experiences by authors who are adoptees? What a fantastic anthology that will speak to many readers and their experiences. Although I am not an adoptee, I was hooked by these stories. Representation matters and this was the first collection of its kind that I have encountered. I look forward to reading more works by the authors in this anthology in the future. Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC!
November 13, 2023
Wished I had, had a book like this when I was a teenager. Highly recommend and grateful for these stories!
Read
May 24, 2023“I knew how it felt to wonder if there was something more you could have done, something more you could have been, to keep your whole family together.”
When We Become Ours is a heartfelt anthology of adoptee stories, telling how the loneliness and the grief and the connection and the love, all intersect. I personally, am not an adoptee, so I went into these stories seeking to learn, and I came away with a deeper understanding of the emotional complexities the experience comes with. A lot of the personal stories I’ve heard are from parents—especially the religious ones—and not the children, which sings a very different tune.
Thank you to NetGalley and HarperTeen for providing me with an ARC of this title.
When We Become Ours is a heartfelt anthology of adoptee stories, telling how the loneliness and the grief and the connection and the love, all intersect. I personally, am not an adoptee, so I went into these stories seeking to learn, and I came away with a deeper understanding of the emotional complexities the experience comes with. A lot of the personal stories I’ve heard are from parents—especially the religious ones—and not the children, which sings a very different tune.
Thank you to NetGalley and HarperTeen for providing me with an ARC of this title.
March 8, 2024
*3.5
This book definitely made me think and also feel seen as an Asian adoptee. I really love and appreciate the collection in that it’s doing something new and is representing a majorly underrepresented group of people. However, when thinking about the stories and my individual enjoyment of each they really spanned the gambit as I suspected they would. I loved some of them and others I felt needed some more thought behind them.
This book definitely made me think and also feel seen as an Asian adoptee. I really love and appreciate the collection in that it’s doing something new and is representing a majorly underrepresented group of people. However, when thinking about the stories and my individual enjoyment of each they really spanned the gambit as I suspected they would. I loved some of them and others I felt needed some more thought behind them.
September 1, 2023
When We Become Ours is a captivating anthology about grief, identity, and belonging. It’s written by adoptees and about adoptees, and as a whole I’ve never read something quite like it.
As the Foreword and Afterword both explain, it’s not often that adoptees have the space to share their own stories and be heard. Often, our stories are told for us, sometimes (often) in an incomplete or biased way.
As an adoptee, I loved reading these stories, which span a variety of genres and formats. One of my favorites is about a fantasy land where the Heavenly Queen ascends to the throne only after all her family has been murdered. In another, Lisa Wool-Rim Sjöblom (Palimpsest) illustrates a young adoptee's connection with her internet friend. Reading these pieces made me feel so seen and understood, and I wish I’d had stories like these growing up. I am so glad that the younger adoptees will now have it.
If you think you know how your adopted (friend/child/sibling/cousin/neighbor) feels, perhaps this book is for you. If you’re adopted and seeking to be heard, perhaps this book is for you. Or maybe you have no connection to adoption at all, and you’re just feeling a little invisible. The adoptees in these stories will understand. So many of these stories are about how precious it is to feel seen, and there is something for everyone here.
Personally, this is now a must-read for me.
Thank you NetGalley and HarperTeen for providing me with this (my first!) ARC!
As the Foreword and Afterword both explain, it’s not often that adoptees have the space to share their own stories and be heard. Often, our stories are told for us, sometimes (often) in an incomplete or biased way.
As an adoptee, I loved reading these stories, which span a variety of genres and formats. One of my favorites is about a fantasy land where the Heavenly Queen ascends to the throne only after all her family has been murdered. In another, Lisa Wool-Rim Sjöblom (Palimpsest) illustrates a young adoptee's connection with her internet friend. Reading these pieces made me feel so seen and understood, and I wish I’d had stories like these growing up. I am so glad that the younger adoptees will now have it.
If you think you know how your adopted (friend/child/sibling/cousin/neighbor) feels, perhaps this book is for you. If you’re adopted and seeking to be heard, perhaps this book is for you. Or maybe you have no connection to adoption at all, and you’re just feeling a little invisible. The adoptees in these stories will understand. So many of these stories are about how precious it is to feel seen, and there is something for everyone here.
Personally, this is now a must-read for me.
Thank you NetGalley and HarperTeen for providing me with this (my first!) ARC!
Want to read
July 10, 2024"When We Became Ours is a short story collection edited by Shannon Gibney and Nicole
Chung. Each story focuses on an adoption experience - all with the theme of fitting in,
finding out your true self, and of course, finding out more about your culture.
There are some authors you will recognize, like Mark Oshiro and Mariama J. Lockington,
and many others that we all need to read more from. All stories are about transracial
adoptees. The stories range in genres and format, with a further reading/resource list in
the back and an afterword by Dr. JaeRan Kim (UW professor). Really extensive range of experiences for young people to read and understand more about adoptees as well as for
transracial adoptees to see themselves in a quality story." - WashRag-145-05-24
Chung. Each story focuses on an adoption experience - all with the theme of fitting in,
finding out your true self, and of course, finding out more about your culture.
There are some authors you will recognize, like Mark Oshiro and Mariama J. Lockington,
and many others that we all need to read more from. All stories are about transracial
adoptees. The stories range in genres and format, with a further reading/resource list in
the back and an afterword by Dr. JaeRan Kim (UW professor). Really extensive range of experiences for young people to read and understand more about adoptees as well as for
transracial adoptees to see themselves in a quality story." - WashRag-145-05-24
2023
June 8, 2024📱 Thank you to NetGalley and HarperTeen
August 15, 2024
I loved this. Lots of different stories in a variety of different genres, talking about interracial adoption. Glad to see representation on this particular issue - and also glad that all stories were written by people who themselves are adoptees.
June 3, 2025
Rating: 4 stars
Omg, yeyyyyy, finally got around to finish this and wOW was it a breath of fresh air to read something actually CATERED to my experience! In all honestly, it felt weird to be reading something that focused so accurately on emotions I regularly felt about myself growing up (and honestly, still do from time to time now). It was fun to read so many kinds of stories with found family/chosen family at the heart of each short story, from digestible contemporary to creative fantasy, to supernatural to blinding realism. To see these themes so vibrant in each piece really made me feel proud to be adopted. It was also so intriguing to see such a collaborative collection of pieces that varied in terms of genres- overall, one hell of an enjoyable read :)
Out of 15 stories, I'm proud to say I enjoyed the majority! The many differing genre's all with the core of being chosen/choosing for yourself is really something I found captivating. Stories in particular I loved would be "Core and Benji's Great Escape" by Mariama J. Lockington, "The Star of Ruin" by Meredith Ireland, "Shawl Dance" by Susan Harness, "White People," by Matthew Salesses, "Haunt Me, Then" by Meme Collier, and last but not leas, "Truffles (Or Don't Worry, The Dog Will be Fine" by Eric Smith. To me, each piece presented me with a unique perception of each individual's experience with being... different, a difference I can relate to personally speaking and one that I don't think about enough it seems. I sincerely hope in the coming years, we get adoptee's get more of a spotlight in regards to our stories and what it actually means to be adopted in this incredibly mixed world.
Omg, yeyyyyy, finally got around to finish this and wOW was it a breath of fresh air to read something actually CATERED to my experience! In all honestly, it felt weird to be reading something that focused so accurately on emotions I regularly felt about myself growing up (and honestly, still do from time to time now). It was fun to read so many kinds of stories with found family/chosen family at the heart of each short story, from digestible contemporary to creative fantasy, to supernatural to blinding realism. To see these themes so vibrant in each piece really made me feel proud to be adopted. It was also so intriguing to see such a collaborative collection of pieces that varied in terms of genres- overall, one hell of an enjoyable read :)
Out of 15 stories, I'm proud to say I enjoyed the majority! The many differing genre's all with the core of being chosen/choosing for yourself is really something I found captivating. Stories in particular I loved would be "Core and Benji's Great Escape" by Mariama J. Lockington, "The Star of Ruin" by Meredith Ireland, "Shawl Dance" by Susan Harness, "White People," by Matthew Salesses, "Haunt Me, Then" by Meme Collier, and last but not leas, "Truffles (Or Don't Worry, The Dog Will be Fine" by Eric Smith. To me, each piece presented me with a unique perception of each individual's experience with being... different, a difference I can relate to personally speaking and one that I don't think about enough it seems. I sincerely hope in the coming years, we get adoptee's get more of a spotlight in regards to our stories and what it actually means to be adopted in this incredibly mixed world.
December 25, 2023
I read most of the stories, but not all of them. There were some that I really enjoyed and others that felt like the authors were whiny. Overall it was great to learn more from the voices of adoptees and their loved experiences. I really loved ‘Almost Close Enough’, but I may be slightly biased because it was written by my amazing sister in law!!
March 29, 2024
as a donor-conceived person, i feel adjacent to the adoptee experience. this book put into words so many feelings i had never been able to name. also im simply obsessed with books authored by more than one person tbh. anyways. life-changing.
July 29, 2025
Review copy - this book was given to me by the publisher.
I think that anthologies like this (where they contain multiple stories in different worlds) are not for me. I found it difficult to keep track of characters, and I enjoyed some stories more than others.
Overall, this was an interesting read. I’m not adopted myself, but I appreciated and valued the chance to learn more about what others have experienced.
I think that anthologies like this (where they contain multiple stories in different worlds) are not for me. I found it difficult to keep track of characters, and I enjoyed some stories more than others.
Overall, this was an interesting read. I’m not adopted myself, but I appreciated and valued the chance to learn more about what others have experienced.
March 30, 2025
As an transracial adoptee (South Korean child to Caucasian parents), I loved "When We Become Ours", an anthology of adoptee stories written by 15 people who were adopted! Many pulled no punches. This collection (and the stories, podcasts, websites, etc. listed at the end), should be included in a required course for those considering adoption.
Some of my favorite works from the collection are:
"Cora and Benji's Great Escape" by Mariama J. Lockington, which starts the collection off with a bang, showing one transracial adoptee's (Black child to Caucasian parents) experience with tone-deaf parents parading their black children like trophies or proof of their selflessness.
"Shawl Dance" by Susan Harness addressing the "in between" that so many transracial adoptees feel--not fitting into one world or the other through the eyes of one transracial adoptee (Indigenous child to Caucasian parents).
"White People" by Matthew Salesses showcasing the loneliness caused by bringing an adopted Korean child into a Caucasian town, which had one other (non-adopted) Japanese child and the trauma that child will certainly endure as being othered.
"Love is Not Enough" by Lisa Wool-Rim Sjoblom, a story of an adopted child longing to seek her biological beginnings told through artwork and words. Loved her call-outs of adoptive parents claiming "I'm an adoptive parent and my children have never experienced any racism." (So. Frustrating. Of COURSE they have. Every non-white person has.) And her showing how support (e.g., connection between adopted children) is beneficial to mental well-being (and may very well be life-saving).
The collection's "Afterword" by Dr. Jaeran Kim, which include some very important notes such as:
"When you do not look like your adoptive family, or if you have little or no information about the people who gave birth to you, trying to figure out who you are can be challenging."
"If your adoption involved crossing geographic, cultural, and/or racial borders, you might wonder what it would have been like growing up in a different state, country, or racial/ethnic heritage. It is also difficult to feel like you have permission to even ask these questions, in case you are seen as being ungrateful or disloyal to your adoptive family."
"Although adoption is often seen as being about what is gained (parents, a family, a home), it can be forgotten that for an adoption to happen, a family first had to experience a tremendous loss. A child was separated from their first family, and a family was separated from a child."
"The fact is that those from dominant and majority groups need decentering if they are to develop into compassionate, justice-seeking adults. This book is for everyone--those personally connected to adoption and anyone interested in expanding their understanding of adoptees."
Some of my favorite works from the collection are:
"Cora and Benji's Great Escape" by Mariama J. Lockington, which starts the collection off with a bang, showing one transracial adoptee's (Black child to Caucasian parents) experience with tone-deaf parents parading their black children like trophies or proof of their selflessness.
"Shawl Dance" by Susan Harness addressing the "in between" that so many transracial adoptees feel--not fitting into one world or the other through the eyes of one transracial adoptee (Indigenous child to Caucasian parents).
"White People" by Matthew Salesses showcasing the loneliness caused by bringing an adopted Korean child into a Caucasian town, which had one other (non-adopted) Japanese child and the trauma that child will certainly endure as being othered.
"Love is Not Enough" by Lisa Wool-Rim Sjoblom, a story of an adopted child longing to seek her biological beginnings told through artwork and words. Loved her call-outs of adoptive parents claiming "I'm an adoptive parent and my children have never experienced any racism." (So. Frustrating. Of COURSE they have. Every non-white person has.) And her showing how support (e.g., connection between adopted children) is beneficial to mental well-being (and may very well be life-saving).
The collection's "Afterword" by Dr. Jaeran Kim, which include some very important notes such as:
"When you do not look like your adoptive family, or if you have little or no information about the people who gave birth to you, trying to figure out who you are can be challenging."
"If your adoption involved crossing geographic, cultural, and/or racial borders, you might wonder what it would have been like growing up in a different state, country, or racial/ethnic heritage. It is also difficult to feel like you have permission to even ask these questions, in case you are seen as being ungrateful or disloyal to your adoptive family."
"Although adoption is often seen as being about what is gained (parents, a family, a home), it can be forgotten that for an adoption to happen, a family first had to experience a tremendous loss. A child was separated from their first family, and a family was separated from a child."
"The fact is that those from dominant and majority groups need decentering if they are to develop into compassionate, justice-seeking adults. This book is for everyone--those personally connected to adoption and anyone interested in expanding their understanding of adoptees."
January 3, 2024
Adoption is a topic that has always interested me, and as an adult I’ve begun thinking about it in a more nuanced way. The conversation is finally turning towards the experiences of adoptees and so I jumped at the chance to review this book, which puts adoptees at the centre of their own stories.
No two people’s experiences are the same, and neither are the stories in this book. While most of them have a contemporary setting, there is some sci-fi and fantasy in there as well. Some of the stories focus specifically on feelings of displacement, or home, or loss of identity; others are about something else entirely, with their adoptee status being one part of their story.
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The stories in this book are specifically about trans-racial adoption, where the adopting parents and the adoptees have a different racial heritage. Again, everyone’s story is different, and this was reflected in this book. Some characters had parents who encouraged them to engage with their heritage, others who tried but weren’t sure, and some who felt morally righteous for raising children of colour. Prepare to be outraged by some of the parents in this book!
There were multiple narrators on this book, which audibly made it really easy to distinguish between each story. They were all excellently narrated, and it made for a very enjoyable listening experience.
As with every short story collection, there were some that I loved and some that I didn’t. But this is a powerful, much-needed collection, that is helping open up the conversation around adoption.
I received a free copy for an honest review.
No two people’s experiences are the same, and neither are the stories in this book. While most of them have a contemporary setting, there is some sci-fi and fantasy in there as well. Some of the stories focus specifically on feelings of displacement, or home, or loss of identity; others are about something else entirely, with their adoptee status being one part of their story.
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The stories in this book are specifically about trans-racial adoption, where the adopting parents and the adoptees have a different racial heritage. Again, everyone’s story is different, and this was reflected in this book. Some characters had parents who encouraged them to engage with their heritage, others who tried but weren’t sure, and some who felt morally righteous for raising children of colour. Prepare to be outraged by some of the parents in this book!
There were multiple narrators on this book, which audibly made it really easy to distinguish between each story. They were all excellently narrated, and it made for a very enjoyable listening experience.
As with every short story collection, there were some that I loved and some that I didn’t. But this is a powerful, much-needed collection, that is helping open up the conversation around adoption.
I received a free copy for an honest review.
December 19, 2023
This is a collection of 15 stories written by BIPOC and queer adoptees about BIPOC and queer adoptees. There’s a genre for everyone in this anthology. Dr Kim said in the afterword “this book is for everyone: those personally connected to adoption and anyone interested in expanding their understanding of adoptees.”
While this book is a YA centric anthology, everyone should be reading it. Accurate depictions of the adoptee experience are few and far between in tv, movies, and books. I often see people talking over adoptees on social media trying to discredit their experiences when we should all be listening and learning about the harm they encounter by those who insist adoptees can be nothing but thankful.
The afterword written by Dr Kim had several important points we all need to hear:
“Another theme present is that of Ambiguous loss, a concept developed by Dr Pauline Boss to describe the disjointedness and unresolved feelings that accompany relationship disruptions. Although adoption is often seen to be about what is gained (parents, a family, a home), it can be forgotten that for an adoption to happen a family first had to experience a tremendous loss. A child was separated from its first family and a family was separated from a child.”
“The fact is that those from dominant and majority groups need decentering if they are to develop into compassionate justice seeking adults.”
While this book is a YA centric anthology, everyone should be reading it. Accurate depictions of the adoptee experience are few and far between in tv, movies, and books. I often see people talking over adoptees on social media trying to discredit their experiences when we should all be listening and learning about the harm they encounter by those who insist adoptees can be nothing but thankful.
The afterword written by Dr Kim had several important points we all need to hear:
“Another theme present is that of Ambiguous loss, a concept developed by Dr Pauline Boss to describe the disjointedness and unresolved feelings that accompany relationship disruptions. Although adoption is often seen to be about what is gained (parents, a family, a home), it can be forgotten that for an adoption to happen a family first had to experience a tremendous loss. A child was separated from its first family and a family was separated from a child.”
“The fact is that those from dominant and majority groups need decentering if they are to develop into compassionate justice seeking adults.”
August 18, 2024
I've been recommending this anthology to a lot of people. First of all because it's good, and also because it's YA, so the writing is very accessible. I keep wanting to say, "It's easy to read." But if you are an adoptive parent, it might not be very comfortable to encounter adoptee voices telling the truth about the complexity of their experience. I do believe, however, that we can learn from that discomfort, and it's good for our adopted kids to listen and hear a variety of adoptee perspectives.
I keep thinking about how so many of the reviews of "You Should Be Grateful": Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption say, "It sounds like you are grateful!" and "How is it bad to be grateful?" When the point is that it's not gratitude that's the problem, it's SHOULD. People feel a lot of different ways about their lives and experiences, and because adoptees are people, they have a lot of different feelings. People who know and love adoptees can and should hold space for those various feelings. And this anthology offers a peek at what some of the internal emotions, thoughts, questions, and perspectives of adoptees might be.
I keep thinking about how so many of the reviews of "You Should Be Grateful": Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption say, "It sounds like you are grateful!" and "How is it bad to be grateful?" When the point is that it's not gratitude that's the problem, it's SHOULD. People feel a lot of different ways about their lives and experiences, and because adoptees are people, they have a lot of different feelings. People who know and love adoptees can and should hold space for those various feelings. And this anthology offers a peek at what some of the internal emotions, thoughts, questions, and perspectives of adoptees might be.
December 22, 2023
This anthology addresses all the familial, cultural, and belonging questions an adopted child might have, from a wide variety of backgrounds (Korean, Indigenous, Black, fictional moon society, etc.), and also including topics like race, racial differences, and racism; grief; coming-of-age and adventure; sexual harassment; etc. My only complaint is that a few of the stories didn’t feel finished! They could’ve gone on longer to feel even just a little more significant or to give a little more closure.
“Is family more than blood?” “Can I love both families, cultures, etc. I come from?” “What if my adoptee parents don’t want me to meet my biological ones?” When it feels like a piece of you is missing, there might be different ways for each person to fill that hole. And that’s what this anthology is all about.
My favorite stories were “Shawl Dance” by Susan Harness, “Almost Close Enough” by Stefany Valentine, and “Sexy” by Jenny Heijun Wills (also a plot twist in that one.)
I would recommend it to anyone interested in it for their own personal experience or to anyone who’d like to further their understanding and empathy on the above topics.
“Is family more than blood?” “Can I love both families, cultures, etc. I come from?” “What if my adoptee parents don’t want me to meet my biological ones?” When it feels like a piece of you is missing, there might be different ways for each person to fill that hole. And that’s what this anthology is all about.
My favorite stories were “Shawl Dance” by Susan Harness, “Almost Close Enough” by Stefany Valentine, and “Sexy” by Jenny Heijun Wills (also a plot twist in that one.)
I would recommend it to anyone interested in it for their own personal experience or to anyone who’d like to further their understanding and empathy on the above topics.
May 26, 2024
[4 stars] An anthology of YA contemporary, historical, and speculative fiction, all written by adult adoptees with young adoptee main characters. I love that this collection exists! Too often, stories about adoption and/or adoptees are written to center the experiences of adopting parents or by those with no personal connection / only an academic connection to adoption as an issue or topic. The breadth of genre makes for fun reading, though the more fantastical ones ("The Star of Ruin", "Haunt Me, Then", "Almost Close Enough", "The Dream Dealer's Audition") were my favorites; the only story I actively disliked was "Sexy" and its portrayal of grooming. Recommended for fans of YA with BIPOC authors and primary characters, adoptees in search of stories that reflect their experiences, and anyone who spent their adolescence searching for connection, belonging, and what it means to be "enough".
Publication Info: HarperTeen / Harper Collins (October 2023)
Goodreads Challenge 2024: 19/48 (dates read 1/31/24-5/10/24)
Beat the Backlist Challenge: an anthology
Popsugar Reading Challenge: has magical realism
CN / TW: desriptions and mentions of racism, xenophobia, emotional abuse, grooming, and suicide / self-harm
Publication Info: HarperTeen / Harper Collins (October 2023)
Goodreads Challenge 2024: 19/48 (dates read 1/31/24-5/10/24)
Beat the Backlist Challenge: an anthology
Popsugar Reading Challenge: has magical realism
CN / TW: desriptions and mentions of racism, xenophobia, emotional abuse, grooming, and suicide / self-harm
June 2, 2023
When We Become Ours is groundbreaking for having adoptee short stories written by authors who are adopted themselves. Too often adoption and adoptee characters are employed in fiction by non-adopted writers who fail to understand the complexity and nuance of writing adoptee characters. What makes the book most compelling is that it’s clear the authors know the intimacies of adoption. They are unapologetic in making visible the dissonance produced by transracial and/or transnational adoption. In doing so, these stories offer a window unto fictionalized adoptee lives and resonate with the lived realities adoptees experience daily. This collection is a must read for any adoptee seeking an accurate portrayal of adoption, as well as for anyone seeking humanizing stories of kinship and belonging featuring protagonists of color. When We Become Ours should be a clarion call to other writers to exert caution over appropriating the voice of adoptees in their writing similar to the ethical questions raised when authors write across race.
August 14, 2023
While the majority of the short stories in this collection are #ownvoices, written by adoptees about their experiences that they hope others will see and understand or connect with, there are some that are interspersed written about the adoptive experience but not from the #ownvoices perspective and I think that's quite alright. It provides multiple lenses for the mirror, window, or sliding glass door experience and having recently read Monstrous, no two experiences are the same and often transracial adoptions are the most difficult, especially on the adoptee in a race-focused country like the United States.
No one story had a writing style that blew me away, so from that evaluation, it's an average book. What moves a reader are the experiences shared in fairly short stories (no pun intended).
No one story had a writing style that blew me away, so from that evaluation, it's an average book. What moves a reader are the experiences shared in fairly short stories (no pun intended).
February 10, 2024
Oh, my heart! This adoptee anthology of short stories has had a healing effect on me. Like so many other transracial and transnational adoptees, I have yearned for stories that are told by adoptees and experiences that are adoptee centric. For so many years I had been exposed mainly to adoption narratives written by adoptive parents and by those who claim vested interest in adoption but who aren’t adoptees themselves. Themes of unresolved loss, feelings of untetheredness, and the burden of conspicuously sticking out resonated with me. I loved the wide range and variety of stories shared by these adoptee authors. I laughed, I cried, I felt moments of kinship and validation. I also appreciated the further reading section this book offers. Highly recommend to all those affected by adoption or those who seek to learn more about adoptee experience.
June 6, 2024
15 stories of transracial adoption from 15 different authors. These authors have an insight into the mind of transracial adoptees because they were all adopted themselves. Multiple genres are included.
I was excited about this book, there are stories in it that I really liked, but I had a very hard time getting past the number of f-bombs. Yes I know that teens cuss, but this was overkill in many of the stories. Then there was the use of a certain word that just makes me cringe, it could be the generation I come from, but I cannot stand to hear a teen call another teen a n***a.
Content Warning" Language, Adult/Child relationship.
I was excited about this book, there are stories in it that I really liked, but I had a very hard time getting past the number of f-bombs. Yes I know that teens cuss, but this was overkill in many of the stories. Then there was the use of a certain word that just makes me cringe, it could be the generation I come from, but I cannot stand to hear a teen call another teen a n***a.
Content Warning" Language, Adult/Child relationship.
January 30, 2025
This book is important in representing stories of adolescents who were adopted, especially those in transracial adoptions. Don’t skip the forward and editor’s note, which do a beautiful job of framing the collection.
That being said, this is just an enjoyable set of short stories. They are all YA, with adolescent characters and coming of age themes, but they’re written in different styles, some realistic, some fantasy/sci-fi. I listened to about half the book on audio and enjoyed the storytelling in that format as well.
This was a wonderful way to learn about transracial adoption, from writers who experienced it.
That being said, this is just an enjoyable set of short stories. They are all YA, with adolescent characters and coming of age themes, but they’re written in different styles, some realistic, some fantasy/sci-fi. I listened to about half the book on audio and enjoyed the storytelling in that format as well.
This was a wonderful way to learn about transracial adoption, from writers who experienced it.
June 25, 2025
I don't often read short story collections, but I was curious about this one because I loved another book by Shannon Gibney and I wanted to hear more stories by and about adoptees. Like all short story collections there were some that stood out where I would've loved to read a full book of just that story and others that I breezed through and immediately forgot. I appreciated the diversity of genres and perspectives and that it's difficult to condense the complexity of an adoptee's experience into just a few pages. I'd recommend this to anyone who wants a collection of unique stories, it was a fast read!
October 21, 2025
When We Become Ours: four stars. YA anthology focusing on the challenges faced by transracial adoptees, which also ends up exploring broader themes of family and race. It's a thought-provoking book, and often challenging, and it resists giving easy answers. The individual stories are generally engaging and well-written.
--List of stories included, for reference:
Cora and Benji's Great Escape
The Star of Ruin
How Slow the Snow Is Falling
Shawl Dance
White People
Haunt Me, Then
Love Is Not Enough
Oreo
Truffles (or Don't Worry, the Dog Will Be Fine)
Catch
Almost Close Enough
Sexy
Deadwood
Glide
The Dream Dealer's Audition
--List of stories included, for reference:
Cora and Benji's Great Escape
The Star of Ruin
How Slow the Snow Is Falling
Shawl Dance
White People
Haunt Me, Then
Love Is Not Enough
Oreo
Truffles (or Don't Worry, the Dog Will Be Fine)
Catch
Almost Close Enough
Sexy
Deadwood
Glide
The Dream Dealer's Audition
December 13, 2023
As an adoptive parent of a young child, I was excited to read this anthology, and was so moved by what I found in its pages. I know my kid is and will be part of a community of other adoptees that stretches beyond my experience and imaginings, and I'm so grateful for resources like this that will show her that it's OK to have complicated, changing, or difficult emotions around her own story, which will only be hers to tell. Thank you for this book; it wasn't *for* me but I'm very glad it exists and loved all of the beautiful writing by such a wildly talented group of authors.
December 16, 2023
Perfect YA book for all readers to understand adoptees! For young adult adoptees, it's a must read. So many young people who are adopted do not ask their family about their identity or other questions about their life before adoption because they don't want to make their parents feel uncomfortable. Having a book like this gives adoptees a chance to open their eyes to possibility. And that's something every person should feel. The editors chose excellent authors of these pieces. It should be in every school library. The stories are so varied in stories, perspective and style.
February 2, 2024
2.5 stars, rounded up for the better stories. Some of these were really powerful, but others felt like info-dumps or seemed too incomplete, even in a short story format. Also, for a book that claims to "genuinely and authentically reflect the complexity, breadth, and depth of adoptee experiences," we really should have at least ONE white main character. The book aims to support and elevate the voices of trans-racial adoptees, but you can do that without completely excluding white adopted kids, some of whom are still adopted internationally and have to deal with leaving their birth country and culture behind.
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