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On Friendship
Throughout history, some books have changed the world. They have transformed the way we see ourselves - and each other. They have inspired debate, dissent, war and revolution. They have enlightened, outraged, provoked and comforted. They have enriched lives - and destroyed them. Now Penguin brings you the works of the great thinkers, pioneers, radicals and visionaries whose ideas shook civilization, and helped make us who we are. Michel de Montaigne was the originator of the modern essay form; in these diverse pieces he expresses his views on relationships, contemplates the idea that man is no different from any animal, argues that all cultures should be respected, and attempts, by an exploration of himself, to understand the nature of humanity.
115 pages, Mass Market Paperback
First published January 1, 1580
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About the author
Michel de Montaigne
1,554 books1,538 followersMichel Eyquem de Montaigne (1532-1592) was one of the most influential writers of the French Renaissance. Montaigne is known for popularizing the essay as a literary genre. He became famous for his effortless ability to merge serious intellectual speculation with casual anecdotes and autobiography—and his massive volume Essais (translated literally as "Attempts") contains, to this day, some of the most widely influential essays ever written. Montaigne had a direct influence on writers the world over, from William Shakespeare to René Descartes, from Ralph Waldo Emerson to Stephan Zweig, from Friedrich Nietzsche to Jean-Jacques Rousseau. He was a conservative and earnest Catholic but, as a result of his anti-dogmatic cast of mind, he is considered the father, alongside his contemporary and intimate friend Étienne de La Boétie, of the "anti-conformist" tradition in French literature.
In his own time, Montaigne was admired more as a statesman then as an author. The tendency in his essays to digress into anecdotes and personal ruminations was seen as detrimental to proper style rather than as an innovation, and his declaration that, "I am myself the matter of my book", was viewed by his contemporaries as self-indulgent. In time, however, Montaigne would be recognized as embodying, perhaps better than any other author of his time, the spirit of freely entertaining doubt which began to emerge at that time. He is most famously known for his skeptical remark, "Que sais-je?" ("What do I know?").
Remarkably modern even to readers today, Montaigne's attempt to examine the world through the lens of the only thing he can depend on implicitly—his own judgment—makes him more accessible to modern readers than any other author of the Renaissance. Much of modern literary nonfiction has found inspiration in Montaigne, and writers of all kinds continue to read him for his masterful balance of intellectual knowledge and personal storytelling.
In his own time, Montaigne was admired more as a statesman then as an author. The tendency in his essays to digress into anecdotes and personal ruminations was seen as detrimental to proper style rather than as an innovation, and his declaration that, "I am myself the matter of my book", was viewed by his contemporaries as self-indulgent. In time, however, Montaigne would be recognized as embodying, perhaps better than any other author of his time, the spirit of freely entertaining doubt which began to emerge at that time. He is most famously known for his skeptical remark, "Que sais-je?" ("What do I know?").
Remarkably modern even to readers today, Montaigne's attempt to examine the world through the lens of the only thing he can depend on implicitly—his own judgment—makes him more accessible to modern readers than any other author of the Renaissance. Much of modern literary nonfiction has found inspiration in Montaigne, and writers of all kinds continue to read him for his masterful balance of intellectual knowledge and personal storytelling.
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May 31, 2021Reading this collection of seven of de Montaigne’s essays made me feel sorry for his daughter. And his wife.
While de Montaigne was certainly influenced to a degree by the time he lived in, and by the Renaissance adoration of often misogynistic Greco-Roman literature, some of his views on women were definitely NOT mainstream. As a historian, I feel the need to point out that his opinions on women are not necessarily representative of 16th century attitudes. While a number of his contemporaries would have agreed with him that a woman ruler was basically equivalent to being ruled by a child or a lunatic, there would also have been a large number of people in Elizabethan England and elsewhere to disagree.
While de Montaigne was certainly influenced to a degree by the time he lived in, and by the Renaissance adoration of often misogynistic Greco-Roman literature, some of his views on women were definitely NOT mainstream. As a historian, I feel the need to point out that his opinions on women are not necessarily representative of 16th century attitudes. While a number of his contemporaries would have agreed with him that a woman ruler was basically equivalent to being ruled by a child or a lunatic, there would also have been a large number of people in Elizabethan England and elsewhere to disagree.
October 1, 2018
بیشتر اوقات توی کیفم چند کتاب کوچک هست که توی ماشین بخوانم. این را وقتی مصطفی کباب درست میکرد برایش خواندم. سه جستار درباره دوستی و سن و رسیدن از چند راه است. در جستار سن درباره سن شروع کار و بازنشستگی مینویسد و در دوستی، درباره برتری دوستی بر عشق و بر رابطه والدین و فرزندان و زن و شوهر و ... کمی هم اغراق میکند.
مترجم خواسته که به زبان قرن شانزدهم متن را نزدیک کند و گاهی به تکلف افتاده. به هر حال خوب بود.
مترجم خواسته که به زبان قرن شانزدهم متن را نزدیک کند و گاهی به تکلف افتاده. به هر حال خوب بود.
December 7, 2020
I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends
“ Our free will has no creation more properly its own than affection and friendship. ” -Michel de Montaigne, On Friendship
As its title implies, Michel de Montaigne's classic essay On Friendship is an incisive, insightful, and keenly observed disquisition on that most human of human inclinations, friendship. Like all Montaigne’s essays, it's suffused with his own personal experiences, which he readily and even eagerly shares with his readers. This lends his work that feeling of intimacy and human connection which is such a recognizable hallmark of Montaigne’s essays, as well as one of the countless contributions he made to the form of which he was essentially both begetter and architect.
Here he tells us about some of his old friends and companions—apropos to the topic at hand—like Etienne de la Boétia, a close friend and fellow writer who predeceased him. One can keenly feel Montaigne’s pain at the loss of his great friend, who bequeathed him his personal papers on his deathbed, as he warmly praises Etienne’s intellect, wit and companionability.
Montaigne tells us about Etienne at the very start of the essay, like one of those people who tell you personal things about themselves twenty seconds after you’ve first met, while most of us would still be dancing around our newfound interlocutor with inane blabberings about weather or sports. This uninhibited forthrightness is probably Montaigne’s most endearing quality as a writer.
The essay is also steeped—again like all Montaigne’s writings—in classical allusion. Virtually every page contains either a reference to or a direct quotation from the likes of Horace, Cicero, Catullus, Virgil, or Terence. Montaigne cordially invites these towering figures of antiquity to chime in and lend us their thoughts and wisdom on the subject at hand, as though he were in perpetual conversation with them. And indeed, in his mind I believe he was.
Everyone should read at least one of Montaigne’s many essays (it’s not hard, as he’s written about pretty much every topic under the sun—up to and including cannibalism), or better yet, a collection of his writings, for one to get a real sense of his boundless curiosity and the tremendous extent of his intellect. He’s one of the foundational writers of the Western canon and had an impact on just about everything that came after. One of the most important figures of the French Renaissance, he had a profound influence on Shakespeare, among countless others.
With Montaigne, On Friendship is as good a place to start as any. In fact, I think it’s one of his finest essays—and one to which I always find myself returning.
In that respect, it’s a lot like an old friend.
“ Our free will has no creation more properly its own than affection and friendship. ” -Michel de Montaigne, On Friendship
As its title implies, Michel de Montaigne's classic essay On Friendship is an incisive, insightful, and keenly observed disquisition on that most human of human inclinations, friendship. Like all Montaigne’s essays, it's suffused with his own personal experiences, which he readily and even eagerly shares with his readers. This lends his work that feeling of intimacy and human connection which is such a recognizable hallmark of Montaigne’s essays, as well as one of the countless contributions he made to the form of which he was essentially both begetter and architect.
Here he tells us about some of his old friends and companions—apropos to the topic at hand—like Etienne de la Boétia, a close friend and fellow writer who predeceased him. One can keenly feel Montaigne’s pain at the loss of his great friend, who bequeathed him his personal papers on his deathbed, as he warmly praises Etienne’s intellect, wit and companionability.
Montaigne tells us about Etienne at the very start of the essay, like one of those people who tell you personal things about themselves twenty seconds after you’ve first met, while most of us would still be dancing around our newfound interlocutor with inane blabberings about weather or sports. This uninhibited forthrightness is probably Montaigne’s most endearing quality as a writer.
The essay is also steeped—again like all Montaigne’s writings—in classical allusion. Virtually every page contains either a reference to or a direct quotation from the likes of Horace, Cicero, Catullus, Virgil, or Terence. Montaigne cordially invites these towering figures of antiquity to chime in and lend us their thoughts and wisdom on the subject at hand, as though he were in perpetual conversation with them. And indeed, in his mind I believe he was.
Everyone should read at least one of Montaigne’s many essays (it’s not hard, as he’s written about pretty much every topic under the sun—up to and including cannibalism), or better yet, a collection of his writings, for one to get a real sense of his boundless curiosity and the tremendous extent of his intellect. He’s one of the foundational writers of the Western canon and had an impact on just about everything that came after. One of the most important figures of the French Renaissance, he had a profound influence on Shakespeare, among countless others.
With Montaigne, On Friendship is as good a place to start as any. In fact, I think it’s one of his finest essays—and one to which I always find myself returning.
In that respect, it’s a lot like an old friend.
March 3, 2012
I couldn't help saying "What a misogynist!" out loud while I was reading this book. I seriously didn't know Montaigne had such stone-age views on women.
Sure, there were some great observations and concepts most of which were really spot on, but I couldn't really enjoy them because of all the lady-hating bits. It was as if he couldn't control himself at every 2nd or 3rd page and blurted out offensive nuggets of some so-called wisdom.
I know I know, "At that time, these were the common ideas of every qualified man!". Maybe it's just me and my radical belief of men and women being equals.
Sure, there were some great observations and concepts most of which were really spot on, but I couldn't really enjoy them because of all the lady-hating bits. It was as if he couldn't control himself at every 2nd or 3rd page and blurted out offensive nuggets of some so-called wisdom.
I know I know, "At that time, these were the common ideas of every qualified man!". Maybe it's just me and my radical belief of men and women being equals.
February 11, 2020
ان چه که مونتنی در این کتاب گفته در مورد دوستی و نوع دوستی هست که متنش کمی قصار هست ولی در کل موضوع خوبیه برای خوندن و اینکه کلا 50 صفحه است.
July 29, 2021
کتاب را برای فهم دوستی، برای سنجیدن کیفیت ترجمهای درخشان از فرانسه به فارسی، و برای مزه کردن مونتن میشود خواند و امیدوار بود از حد مزه فراتر برود و کتاب کاملتری چاپ شود با همین کیفیت ترجمه و مونتن بعد قرنها گذرش به این طرفها بیفتد.
February 12, 2023
This is a collection of seven essays, the first being "On Friendship." The book's title On Friendship suggests that this is the theme of the volume: in fact, the essays are a loose group that reflect Montaigne's thought. "On Friendhip" is memorable. Also, "On the Affection of Fathers for their Children" which offers a lot of wisdom that is still relevant today. Indeed, we probably learn more from bad people than role models and in a world of deception the most we can do is look towards our own truthfulness. The essays are typical Montaigne, show a sort of cultivated chattiness, as if a reader is sat in an inglenook listening to an affable friend.
November 8, 2018
شمایلی از اندیشه ی منتنی در این کتابِ کوچک در سه جستار از کتابِ نخستِ جستارهایش. بازگردانِ عشق ورزانه ی لاله قدکپور و مواجهه ی انگار لجظه ی حال با نوشته های منتنی. بس که شادب و روان و بس که نو هنوز
بسیار لذت بردم و سپاس از دکتر قدکپور و ترجمه ی ناب اش، زلال اش
1397/08/17
بسیار لذت بردم و سپاس از دکتر قدکپور و ترجمه ی ناب اش، زلال اش
1397/08/17
December 7, 2020
If he had a more manageable name, there should be an equivalent to "Shakespearean" for Michel de Montaigne, and the label to refer to essayists of his level. As with Shakespearean, you have to pay attention lest the dense, meaningful sentences fly past. And frankly, there are times, and moods, when he's too dense for me to appreciate, or I'm too dense and have to put him aside.
Like another wonderful essayist, William Hazlitt, Montaigne often takes a circuitous path, following the associations of his fertile, discursive mind, to touch upon all manner of things, before coming back to his point(s) with new, expanded insights. Or bringing up other, entirely unexpected points, altogether. Again, requiring an attentive reader, and one not looking for a point, but patiently waiting for the next rewarding chunk of writing to come, as it always does.
In a frame of mind to focus and leave the world and its distractions behind, Montaigne is the most rewarding of writers. Take, for example, this (among so many other passages), from the essay "On Cruelty":
"Virtue demands a rough and thorny road: she wants either external difficulties to struggle against ... by means of which Fortune is pleased to break up the directness of her course for her, or else inward difficulties furnished by the disordered passions and imperfections of our condition."
And this, from "On Repenting," capturing his straightforward honesty and self-assurance, without self-aggrandizing pride:
"I have hardly cause to blame anyone but myself for my failures or misfortunes, for in practice I rarely ask anyone for advice save to honor them formally; the exception is when I need learned instruction or knowledge of the facts. But in matters where only my judgment is involved, the arguments of others rarely serve to deflect me, though they may well support me; I listen to them graciously and courteously--to all of them. But as far as I can recall, I have never yet trusted any but my own."
Like another wonderful essayist, William Hazlitt, Montaigne often takes a circuitous path, following the associations of his fertile, discursive mind, to touch upon all manner of things, before coming back to his point(s) with new, expanded insights. Or bringing up other, entirely unexpected points, altogether. Again, requiring an attentive reader, and one not looking for a point, but patiently waiting for the next rewarding chunk of writing to come, as it always does.
In a frame of mind to focus and leave the world and its distractions behind, Montaigne is the most rewarding of writers. Take, for example, this (among so many other passages), from the essay "On Cruelty":
"Virtue demands a rough and thorny road: she wants either external difficulties to struggle against ... by means of which Fortune is pleased to break up the directness of her course for her, or else inward difficulties furnished by the disordered passions and imperfections of our condition."
And this, from "On Repenting," capturing his straightforward honesty and self-assurance, without self-aggrandizing pride:
"I have hardly cause to blame anyone but myself for my failures or misfortunes, for in practice I rarely ask anyone for advice save to honor them formally; the exception is when I need learned instruction or knowledge of the facts. But in matters where only my judgment is involved, the arguments of others rarely serve to deflect me, though they may well support me; I listen to them graciously and courteously--to all of them. But as far as I can recall, I have never yet trusted any but my own."
May 10, 2018
متنی درباره نه تنها دوستی که نمایی کلی از تولد تا مرگ یک انسان است. زبان کتاب فاخر و ادبی اما ساده و روان است و جذابیت خواندن متنی تاریخی را دوچندان میکند. کوچک و پرمحتوا. تعریفهایی از دوستی، عشق و روابط روزمره با آشنایان رو تبیین میکند که بنا بر تجربیات خواننده میتواند احساساتاش را برانگیزاند. موقع خواندن کتاب نباید دید انتقادی و موشکفانه فلسفی روانشناختی معاصر رو بکار گرفت. بیشتر باید به نویسنده اعتماد کرد و به حرفهایش گوش داد مانند یک دوست که به درددلهای رفیقش گوش میکند شاید در یک عصر در یک کافه.
April 27, 2010
This little volume contains On Friendship and five or six other essays by de Montaigne. The initial paragraph drew me in.
I haven't read Montaigne for a while, and I am struck again by how contemporary his style seems. His ideas flow smoothly, and I could be reading some newspaper column. But then he starts comparing his friendship with Etienne de la Boetie, and other more mundane forms of human intercourse. And jeez! What misogyny! One can't expect to have a relationship of equals with a woman! After all,
It's an easy read, and so full of classical allusions as to be appealing to someone like me who missed out on a classical education. So I'll finish the book. But I'm still peeved.
I was watching an artist on my staff working on a painting when I felt a desire to emulate him. The finest place in the middle of the wall he selects for a picture to be executed to the best of his ability; then he fills up the empty spaces all round it with grotesques, which are fantastical paintings whose attractiveness consists merely in variety and novelty. And in truth what are these Essays if not monstrosities and grotesques botched together from a variety of limbs having no defined shape, with an order sequence and proportion which are purely fortuitous?
I haven't read Montaigne for a while, and I am struck again by how contemporary his style seems. His ideas flow smoothly, and I could be reading some newspaper column. But then he starts comparing his friendship with Etienne de la Boetie, and other more mundane forms of human intercourse. And jeez! What misogyny! One can't expect to have a relationship of equals with a woman! After all,
women are in truth not normally capable of responding to such familiarity and mutual confidence as sustain that holy bond of friendship, nor do their souls seem firm enough to withstand the clasp of a knot so lasting and so tightly drawn.Excuse me!?!?! Hard to believe that intelligent men thought this way just a few centuries ago.
It's an easy read, and so full of classical allusions as to be appealing to someone like me who missed out on a classical education. So I'll finish the book. But I'm still peeved.
June 12, 2017
عشقی را که به مرز دوستی برسد،آن جا که دوتن به یک آهنگ پیش روند،رمق نمی ماند و نفس می برد.تب عشق را لذت وصل فرو می نشاتد،زیرا تنی که به آن تشنه بود سیراب می شود.از دوستی اما،هر چه کام بیابیم،باز کام می جوییم.در همین عیش مدام است که دوستی می بالد و استوار می گردد،زیرا این شرب جان است و جان را می پالاید.ص۲۴
کتاب کم حجم با ارزشی هست.ابتدا از قلم لاله قدکپور با مونتنی و نوشتارهاش آشنا میشیم و بعدش جستارهای کوچکی از مونتنی رو میخونیم که واقعا دلچسب و تامل برانگیزن👌
کتاب کم حجم با ارزشی هست.ابتدا از قلم لاله قدکپور با مونتنی و نوشتارهاش آشنا میشیم و بعدش جستارهای کوچکی از مونتنی رو میخونیم که واقعا دلچسب و تامل برانگیزن👌
July 19, 2008
These essays show a shallow, self-absorbed aristocrat with time on his hands to remark upon things in which he has no great insight or understanding. Unpleasant and uninstructive reading.
February 28, 2021
"The outcome often lends authority to the most inept leadership."
Great Ideas edition contents
1 On friendship
2 That it is mad to judge the true and false from our own capacities
3 On the art of conversation
4 On idleness
5 On the affection of fathers for their children
6 On moderation
7 That we should not be deemed happy till after our death
Great Ideas edition contents
1 On friendship
2 That it is mad to judge the true and false from our own capacities
3 On the art of conversation
4 On idleness
5 On the affection of fathers for their children
6 On moderation
7 That we should not be deemed happy till after our death
February 19, 2015
Misogyny! But also contemporary, relatable wisdom. Video review.
May 2, 2019
از اونجایی که دوست داشتم از مونتنی بیشتر بدونم و بیشتر بخونم رسیدم به این کتاب که سه تا جستار از کتاب اول خود مونتنی هست
به نظرم مجموعه جالبی از آب دراومده، چه مقدمهای که راجع به خود مونتنی هست، چه مقدمه مترجم در باب ترجمه این اثر و چه خود جستارها که سعی شده لحن فارسی فاخر ترجمه بشه و قرن شانزدهمی بودن اثر رو برسونه
سه جستار شامل: در باب دوستی، در باب سن و از راههای گوناگون به هدفی یکسان میرسیم هست
با توجه به اینکه دسترسی دیگهای به آثار مونتنی نیست باید به همین قناعت کرد
من که لذت برم از خوندن تک تک کلمات و باز هم بیشتر شیفته این مرد شدم
امیدوارم هر چه زودتر خانم قدکپور کار ترجمه کامل رو تموم کنن تا بتونیم بیشتر در محضر مونتنی فیض ببریم
به نظرم مجموعه جالبی از آب دراومده، چه مقدمهای که راجع به خود مونتنی هست، چه مقدمه مترجم در باب ترجمه این اثر و چه خود جستارها که سعی شده لحن فارسی فاخر ترجمه بشه و قرن شانزدهمی بودن اثر رو برسونه
سه جستار شامل: در باب دوستی، در باب سن و از راههای گوناگون به هدفی یکسان میرسیم هست
با توجه به اینکه دسترسی دیگهای به آثار مونتنی نیست باید به همین قناعت کرد
من که لذت برم از خوندن تک تک کلمات و باز هم بیشتر شیفته این مرد شدم
امیدوارم هر چه زودتر خانم قدکپور کار ترجمه کامل رو تموم کنن تا بتونیم بیشتر در محضر مونتنی فیض ببریم
July 21, 2014
Interesting, but the fairly relentless misogyny got up my nose rather and clouded my judgement. Of its time in that regard, I suppose and there were some enlightened moments, such as the unusual (for the time) stance against the corporal punishment of children.
October 27, 2016
If you like your philosophy with a healthy dose of good old-fashioned 16th century sexism then this is the book for your
February 14, 2023
نمره به ترجمهی فاجعهی مرضیه خسرویه :|
June 29, 2017
I bought this paperback last year at a Kinokuniya's Sales Promotion in Bangkok, I guessed no one paid any attention to it or few readers read Montaigne nowadays. This Penguin book's in the Great Ideas series, thus, there're 7 essays selected from his "The Complete Essays" translated by M. A. Screech whose translation, I think, is more enjoyable to read than the Donald M. Frame's.
I'd like to call these essays as a series of the great books since the year, 1580, on its cover should denote something to their readers, in other words, there're still unique traces of the world's ancient wisdom of which its posterity should be aware and over time learn to reflect on some key messages to apply on our daily lives as best as we can.
Enjoy!
I'd like to call these essays as a series of the great books since the year, 1580, on its cover should denote something to their readers, in other words, there're still unique traces of the world's ancient wisdom of which its posterity should be aware and over time learn to reflect on some key messages to apply on our daily lives as best as we can.
Enjoy!
January 5, 2018
ممكنه تمام زندگی به یک امتداد بی پایان از یك رخداد تبدیل بشه. دقیقا مثل زندگی مونتنی پس از آشنایی اش با لابوئسی. جایی مونتنی میگه" دوستی و صمیمیت بین ما چنان كامل و استوار بود كه یقین دارم تنها معدودی حتی می توانند داستان چنین رفاقتی را شنیده باشند".
و بعد حرفی میزنه كه میشه باهاش موافق بود" هیچ نشانه ای از آن گونه دوستی را نمی توان در میان مردان امروزه سراغ گرفت".
و بعد حرفی میزنه كه میشه باهاش موافق بود" هیچ نشانه ای از آن گونه دوستی را نمی توان در میان مردان امروزه سراغ گرفت".
August 30, 2007
The "Great Ideas" series from Penguin Books has become my 'before-bed' books. This book is one of them.
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January 19, 2011It's fitting that the folks at Penguin chose the theme of friendship for their mini-collection of Montaigne essays (the fifth in their Great Ideas series), because at this point, after spending an academic year writing about the French essayist in a tight-knit group of collegiate buddies, and revisiting him with my blogging pals as part of my Essay Mondays project last year, I do indeed feel as if the man were an old friend of mine—warm and witty, occasionally exasperating but always a fascinating companion for a bit of conversation. Even if these particular selections aren't (in my opinion) the best of his oeuvre or the most representative of his unique intellectual contributions to the Western canon, I always enjoy watching his mind pursue its curious labyrinth, doubling back on itself exuberantly in the process of self-discovery.
As Montaigne's recent biographer Sarah Bakewell notes, he philosophizes more or less "by accident," as a by-product of writing about himself and his own experience. As such, his philosophy tends to be about as far from the abstract Platonic notion of timeless capital-T-Truth, as one could hope to get: highly idiosyncratic and often contradictory from one essay to the next—sometimes even within a single essay. He himself is totally frank about this, and about the very likely possibility that he will find himself to have been mistaken:
Personally, this is what I love about Montaigne: the combination within him of warm opinions, passionate curiosity to discuss them with others and interrogate them himself, and complete acceptance of the human contradictions and imperfections that will unavoidably ensue. He believes it is important to mull over and draw conclusions from his own experience,
and he believes in the importance of this activity even though he fully expects that many of his conclusions along the way will be incomplete or downright wrong. Therefore, even when his personal and literary sources mean his arguments are completely illogical or in direct opposition to my own, I still find him inspirational. His complete openness to investigating his own mind, body, and experience means that he follows many odd paths; the point for me is not that they are "wrong" or "right," but that the process itself is intrinsically worthwhile, not to mention fascinating to watch.
The title essay of this collection, "On friendship," is an interesting example of the beauty and oddity of Montaigne's project. Friendship is a subject particularly relevant to Montaigne's life and the existence of the Essays themselves: he began writing them after the death of his very dear friend Étienne de la Boétie, and some critics have suggested that the essays were an attempt to fill the void left by the frank conversations the two friends shared. As such, "Of friendship" is doubly freighted, since it deals with the subject of the lost friend, in the medium adopted to replace him. Those who associate the word "friends" with the adjectives "just" and "only" will need to revise their assumptions: Montaigne is describing the passion of his life.
This kind of language sounds very freighted to a modern ear, and indeed the Essays bring up some interesting questions about the best and/or most realistic ways to divide up one's needs and passions among the different figures in one's life. Drawing on his own experiences in a passionate, deeply meaningful same-sex friendship and a less-than-satisfactory arranged marriage, Montaigne becomes an advocate for the separation of sexual satisfaction from deep intellectual bonds, so that the memory of his friendship with Boétie seems much more important to him than his marriage. At the same time, he expresses his "abhorrence" of the ancient Greek model of sexual relationship between an older male teacher and younger male disciple. Based on his own divided experiences and the ingrained misogyny of his time, he writes bittersweetly that
This passage always tears at my heart because it is simultaneously such an eloquent expression of a relational ideal ("a relationship, willing and free, in which not only the souls had this full enjoyment but in which the bodies too shared in the union—where the whole human being was involved") and a harsh dismissal of that ideal's very possibility. Whether Montaigne was a misogynist extrapolating from his lackluster wife onto the souls of all women, or a man repressing his sexual desire for his male friend, or simply a human who longed to combine sexual and intellectual passion into a single relationship and found it impossible (as surely many modern people have as well), my heart goes out to him even as part of me recoils from his blunt dismissals of my soul's attainments.
Here, though, as in so much of his work, the intriguing (il)logic at play and the very human motivations behind the writing speak more eloquently, to me, than those points with which I disagree. Not least because reading the products of this flexible and curious mind makes me ever more aware that I myself am full of the same kinds of blind spots and contradictions that Montaigne uncovers in himself—and he reminds me that, despite this, examining and expressing my own mind is an endlessly rewarding activity.
As Montaigne's recent biographer Sarah Bakewell notes, he philosophizes more or less "by accident," as a by-product of writing about himself and his own experience. As such, his philosophy tends to be about as far from the abstract Platonic notion of timeless capital-T-Truth, as one could hope to get: highly idiosyncratic and often contradictory from one essay to the next—sometimes even within a single essay. He himself is totally frank about this, and about the very likely possibility that he will find himself to have been mistaken:
So contradictory judgments neither offend me nor irritate me: they merely wake me up and provide me with exercise. We avoid being corrected; we ought to come forward and accept it, especially when it comes from conversation not a lecture. [...] My thought so often contradicts and condemns itself that it is all one to me if someone else does so, seeing that I give to his refutation only such authority as I please.
Personally, this is what I love about Montaigne: the combination within him of warm opinions, passionate curiosity to discuss them with others and interrogate them himself, and complete acceptance of the human contradictions and imperfections that will unavoidably ensue. He believes it is important to mull over and draw conclusions from his own experience,
It is not enough to relate our experiences; we must weigh them and group them; we must also have digested them and distilled them so as to draw out the reasons and conclusions they comport
and he believes in the importance of this activity even though he fully expects that many of his conclusions along the way will be incomplete or downright wrong. Therefore, even when his personal and literary sources mean his arguments are completely illogical or in direct opposition to my own, I still find him inspirational. His complete openness to investigating his own mind, body, and experience means that he follows many odd paths; the point for me is not that they are "wrong" or "right," but that the process itself is intrinsically worthwhile, not to mention fascinating to watch.
The title essay of this collection, "On friendship," is an interesting example of the beauty and oddity of Montaigne's project. Friendship is a subject particularly relevant to Montaigne's life and the existence of the Essays themselves: he began writing them after the death of his very dear friend Étienne de la Boétie, and some critics have suggested that the essays were an attempt to fill the void left by the frank conversations the two friends shared. As such, "Of friendship" is doubly freighted, since it deals with the subject of the lost friend, in the medium adopted to replace him. Those who associate the word "friends" with the adjectives "just" and "only" will need to revise their assumptions: Montaigne is describing the passion of his life.
In the friendship which I am talking about, souls are mingled and confounded in so universal a blending that the efface the seam which joins them together so that it cannot be found. If you press me to say why I loved him, I feel that it cannot be expressed except by replying: 'Because it was him: because it was me.' [...] This friendship has had no ideal to follow other than itself; no comparison but with itself. There is no one particular consideration—nor two nor three nor four nor a thousand of them—but rather some inexplicable quintessence of them all mixed up together which, having captured my will, brought it to plunge into his and lose itself, and which, having captured his will, brought it to plunge and lose itself in mine with an equal hunger and emulation.
This kind of language sounds very freighted to a modern ear, and indeed the Essays bring up some interesting questions about the best and/or most realistic ways to divide up one's needs and passions among the different figures in one's life. Drawing on his own experiences in a passionate, deeply meaningful same-sex friendship and a less-than-satisfactory arranged marriage, Montaigne becomes an advocate for the separation of sexual satisfaction from deep intellectual bonds, so that the memory of his friendship with Boétie seems much more important to him than his marriage. At the same time, he expresses his "abhorrence" of the ancient Greek model of sexual relationship between an older male teacher and younger male disciple. Based on his own divided experiences and the ingrained misogyny of his time, he writes bittersweetly that
[W]omen are in truth not normally capable of responding to such familiarity and mutual confidence as sustain that holy bond of friendship, nor do their souls seem firm enough to withstand the clasp of a knot so lasting and so tightly drawn. And indeed if it were not for that, if it were possible to fashion such a relationship, willing and free, in which not only the souls had this full enjoyment but in which the bodies too shared in the union—where the whole human being was involved—it is certain that the loving-friendship would be more full and more abundant. But there is no example yet of woman attaining to it and by the common agreement of the Ancient schools of philosophy she is excluded from it.
This passage always tears at my heart because it is simultaneously such an eloquent expression of a relational ideal ("a relationship, willing and free, in which not only the souls had this full enjoyment but in which the bodies too shared in the union—where the whole human being was involved") and a harsh dismissal of that ideal's very possibility. Whether Montaigne was a misogynist extrapolating from his lackluster wife onto the souls of all women, or a man repressing his sexual desire for his male friend, or simply a human who longed to combine sexual and intellectual passion into a single relationship and found it impossible (as surely many modern people have as well), my heart goes out to him even as part of me recoils from his blunt dismissals of my soul's attainments.
Here, though, as in so much of his work, the intriguing (il)logic at play and the very human motivations behind the writing speak more eloquently, to me, than those points with which I disagree. Not least because reading the products of this flexible and curious mind makes me ever more aware that I myself am full of the same kinds of blind spots and contradictions that Montaigne uncovers in himself—and he reminds me that, despite this, examining and expressing my own mind is an endlessly rewarding activity.
December 24, 2017
ممنون خانم قدکپور به خاطر این ترجمهی بینظیر
February 20, 2022
One of those old books that keeps the sea breeze of previous eras blowing through your mind. At first blush, Michel de Montaigne (or Mick, as I affectionately call him) seems to be a self-important 16th century sourpuss with some questionable ideas (which makes reading a book titled “On Friendship” rather ironic). But he was a real champ in the philosophy world, so I’ll suspend judgement until I’ve read more of him. Content: 3 stars (some nugs and much to ponder). Perspective: 4 stars (1500s view of women: they have zero self-control, can’t think, and have weak souls).
October 3, 2020
A brief treatise on the merits and attributes of a “true” friendship in which both parties are halves of one whole, as well as a tender ode to a late friend which has left Michel de Montaigne feeling more than ever like half a person, half a soul.
”If a man should importune me to give a reason why I loved him, I find it could no otherwise be expressed, than by making answer: because it was he, because it was I.”
”If a man should importune me to give a reason why I loved him, I find it could no otherwise be expressed, than by making answer: because it was he, because it was I.”
June 17, 2025
Dejando de lado el machismo apabullante, las ideas no están mal.
May 27, 2016
If I'm honest, I wasn't prepared to like Montaigne before I started, and this little book did nothing to overturn my prejudice. He is so unspeakably smug he makes Richard Dawkins look like a wilting violet.
August 10, 2014
Além de não compreender a ratio legis do regime da comunhão de bens no casamento, Montaigne tem também uma concepção de amizade que, além de misógina, é uma tremenda patetice.
March 12, 2016
It's like taking a glimpse of the past through his thoughts and words albeit misogynistic in nature. Not a highly pleasurable read but I love his philosophy.
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