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True Porn Clerk Stories
Queue up these hilarious real-life stories from the video clerking trenches.
You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll wash your hands.
No rewinding required
You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll wash your hands.
No rewinding required
134 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 27, 2009
41 people are currently reading
346 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 96 reviews
September 2, 2009
A hilarious clerk's-eye view of life in the adult video rental trenches.
The stories are so vivid, I feel like I know the author!
The stories are so vivid, I feel like I know the author!
October 11, 2011
"You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll wash your hands."
I loved these essays about working in a video store that rented mainstream titles but mostly pr0n. Sure, Ali Davis tells stories about the crazy customers, but she also has a lot to say about desire, equality, and friendship. (Sorry, I hope I'm not making it sound boring.)
This is the first print-on-demand book I've ever read, and I'm very impressed. I do miss the little things, though. Like page numbers.
I loved these essays about working in a video store that rented mainstream titles but mostly pr0n. Sure, Ali Davis tells stories about the crazy customers, but she also has a lot to say about desire, equality, and friendship. (Sorry, I hope I'm not making it sound boring.)
This is the first print-on-demand book I've ever read, and I'm very impressed. I do miss the little things, though. Like page numbers.
April 23, 2018
I first read this back when it was just a collection of postings on the Internet (in the days before they were called "blogs"). I stumbled across it in a list of $0.99 Kindle books on Amazon the other day and thought that for that price it was worth a reread. It's definitely worth the purchase price!
The book is a good read and an interesting look into the mind of a retail clerk. Being in the porn rental business gives the book both a comic bent and quite a few interesting views into human psychology.
The book is a good read and an interesting look into the mind of a retail clerk. Being in the porn rental business gives the book both a comic bent and quite a few interesting views into human psychology.
April 7, 2017
Un blogue à l'origine, le livre est simplement composé d'une série d'anecdotes. Le titre n'est pas tout à fait honnête : l'auteure ne travaillait pas dans une boutique entièrement dédiée au matériel pornographique, mais un club vidéo avec une section pour adultes. Je m'attendais aussi à une collection d'aventures vécues par divers employés, mais il n'y a qu'une seule auteure.
Cela dit, Ali est particulièrement attachante, et elle a une manière charmante de partager même ses expériences les plus crasses. Son jugement est rarement gratuit, même si sa plume peut être acerbe. Le texte est aussi ponctué de réflexions intelligentes et ludiques sur l'égalité des sexes et la porno que je ne m'attendais pas à retrouver ici.
Ce petit bouquin m'a rappelé l'époque où je travaillais dans un dépanneur, et pensais qu'il serait hilarant de coucher sur papier certaines anecdotes particulièrement épouvantables. Je me souviens d'ailleurs d'au moins deux en relation avec les magazines érotiques... Bref, ça m'a rappelé une époque flottante et un peu folle de ma vie :-)
Cela dit, Ali est particulièrement attachante, et elle a une manière charmante de partager même ses expériences les plus crasses. Son jugement est rarement gratuit, même si sa plume peut être acerbe. Le texte est aussi ponctué de réflexions intelligentes et ludiques sur l'égalité des sexes et la porno que je ne m'attendais pas à retrouver ici.
Ce petit bouquin m'a rappelé l'époque où je travaillais dans un dépanneur, et pensais qu'il serait hilarant de coucher sur papier certaines anecdotes particulièrement épouvantables. Je me souviens d'ailleurs d'au moins deux en relation avec les magazines érotiques... Bref, ça m'a rappelé une époque flottante et un peu folle de ma vie :-)
August 9, 2016
We have these people in non-sex-shop retail too. That almost makes it worse.
May 23, 2014
Contrary to the nature of my title as the Book Dragon, I’m going to do my first review on a book I enjoyed.
That said, this book is pure genius.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not interested in being a porn clerk. However, living vicariously through Ali by reading her self-published diary is at times insightful, painful, and disgusting. Her observations about the human psyche are both humorous and—occasionally—horrifyingly accurate.
This book is exactly what the cover says it is. It is the diary of a girl who, for some time, worked as the cashier/clerk in a video rental store that also happened to carry a (un)healthy selection of porn. I dare you to find a more poignant opener than this:
Ten months.
It has been a test of patience, humility, and character.
It has been a lesson in dealing with all humankind, including their personal bodily fluids.
It has been $6.50 an hour.
If that doesn’t sell you on reading this puppy, I don’t know what will.
Of course, I need to do an actual review, so I will soldier on to give you more reasons why you should read this delightful literary treasure.
1) It is broken down into brief, concise sections with headings like, “Customers I Have Driven Out of the Store,” “Fetishists,” and “Porn and the Differently Abled.”
2) You will find tidbits of useful information and hints on how to handle such awkward situations as finding a jerker in the porn section of your friendly, neighborhood video store, why it’s important to keep notes on credit risks, and what to do when someone underage thinks they can get away with renting hentai “because it’s just a cartoon”.
3) If you ever wondered what it was like to work as a porn clerk, this is it.
4) If you ever needed any reason never to work as a porn clerk, this is it.
Just so there are no misunderstandings here, this is a darned uncomfortable book to read. Do not come whining to me later that I didn’t warn you that it’s graphic. There is no holding back, folks. For heaven's sake, this is the diary of a porn clerk. There is talk about human bodily fluids and intimate acts that may set some eyes to widening and cheeks to blazing while reading this book. It is, in short, not something to leave lying around for the kids to find.
But it is an insightful book, and a funny one. I recommend it to adults who are looking for a titillating story of what it’s like to deal with some of humanity’s darker urges, or need more Aqua references in their literature. ‘Cause, ya know, the world could always use a little more Barbie Girl and advice like “be HAPPY!”
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a cave to return to.
Originally Reviewed: http://book-faery.blogspot.com/2010/1...
That said, this book is pure genius.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not interested in being a porn clerk. However, living vicariously through Ali by reading her self-published diary is at times insightful, painful, and disgusting. Her observations about the human psyche are both humorous and—occasionally—horrifyingly accurate.
This book is exactly what the cover says it is. It is the diary of a girl who, for some time, worked as the cashier/clerk in a video rental store that also happened to carry a (un)healthy selection of porn. I dare you to find a more poignant opener than this:
Ten months.
It has been a test of patience, humility, and character.
It has been a lesson in dealing with all humankind, including their personal bodily fluids.
It has been $6.50 an hour.
If that doesn’t sell you on reading this puppy, I don’t know what will.
Of course, I need to do an actual review, so I will soldier on to give you more reasons why you should read this delightful literary treasure.
1) It is broken down into brief, concise sections with headings like, “Customers I Have Driven Out of the Store,” “Fetishists,” and “Porn and the Differently Abled.”
2) You will find tidbits of useful information and hints on how to handle such awkward situations as finding a jerker in the porn section of your friendly, neighborhood video store, why it’s important to keep notes on credit risks, and what to do when someone underage thinks they can get away with renting hentai “because it’s just a cartoon”.
3) If you ever wondered what it was like to work as a porn clerk, this is it.
4) If you ever needed any reason never to work as a porn clerk, this is it.
Just so there are no misunderstandings here, this is a darned uncomfortable book to read. Do not come whining to me later that I didn’t warn you that it’s graphic. There is no holding back, folks. For heaven's sake, this is the diary of a porn clerk. There is talk about human bodily fluids and intimate acts that may set some eyes to widening and cheeks to blazing while reading this book. It is, in short, not something to leave lying around for the kids to find.
But it is an insightful book, and a funny one. I recommend it to adults who are looking for a titillating story of what it’s like to deal with some of humanity’s darker urges, or need more Aqua references in their literature. ‘Cause, ya know, the world could always use a little more Barbie Girl and advice like “be HAPPY!”
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a cave to return to.
Originally Reviewed: http://book-faery.blogspot.com/2010/1...
July 1, 2017
I'm not reviewing this on Litsy, but I enjoyed it a great deal. It's funny, with a great voice, and very insightful. This was one of the first blogs I remember reading - way back in 2003! - and so reading it was a strange blend of surprise and nostalgia. Davis doesn't change much, it seems like, and the book functions as a lovely little time capsule of both the early Bush era and the last days before streaming and Netflix took over all our lives. Very much recommended.
Want to read
September 1, 2009This sounds too funny to pass up!
September 5, 2022
A sweet look back at a more innocent time, when porn was in the basement of the video store on the VHS tapes, and that's how we liked it.
February 19, 2024
A freelance writer took a temporary gig as a clerk in a porn shop and four years later had a collection of thoughtful, funny, insightful essays on the experience.
She discusses the habits of customers good (Mr. Gentle), bad (Mr. Pig), and weird (Mr. Creaky); the importance of hand sanitizer; the dubious appeal of anal gaping; the fun of a good parody title (David Cop-a-Feel); what constitutes ethical or demeaning porn; how to police public masturbators; counterintuitive observations on porn's effects on male and female body image; the many benefits of Scandinavian synth-pop dance music, and so much more.
As a testament to author Ali Davis's descriptive skills: I often wanted to use hand sanitizer myself after reading a chapter. As a testament to her humor and grace and perspicacity: I never hesitated to dive into the next chapter.
(Note: Read the blog version.)
She discusses the habits of customers good (Mr. Gentle), bad (Mr. Pig), and weird (Mr. Creaky); the importance of hand sanitizer; the dubious appeal of anal gaping; the fun of a good parody title (David Cop-a-Feel); what constitutes ethical or demeaning porn; how to police public masturbators; counterintuitive observations on porn's effects on male and female body image; the many benefits of Scandinavian synth-pop dance music, and so much more.
As a testament to author Ali Davis's descriptive skills: I often wanted to use hand sanitizer myself after reading a chapter. As a testament to her humor and grace and perspicacity: I never hesitated to dive into the next chapter.
(Note: Read the blog version.)
March 1, 2022
Creo que consumir este libro en formato audiolibro es una buena idea para acompañarte en los paseos matutinos.
Divertido, ligero, pero con toques ¿impactantes? (o al menos desagradables) de vez en cuando.
Divertido, ligero, pero con toques ¿impactantes? (o al menos desagradables) de vez en cuando.
December 19, 2017
438 - 2017
June 6, 2024
My initial thought upon seeing the cover of
True Porn Clerk Stories
, by Ali Davis, was "this is the worst/stupidest book design ever." Then I read said book, and I knew she was a bright comic with her tongue very firmly planted in cheek.
Davis is funny, acutely observational, relatively non-judgemental, and one smart cookie. For this book to work in an era 20 years after it's writing; when both VHS/DVD rental stores and online blogs are all but extinct, it is a testament to her literary voice and narrative skills. And of course, all the porn. (What a leap in smut indulgence the Internet has made for humanity!)
Ali herself is a likable main character in the book, surrounded by "interesting" customers and co-workers who act as a revolving cast in her video clerk "sitcom". Littered with anecdotal incidents and surprisingly astute (non-clinical) analysis of sex and porn, and those who watch it, it is presented in a raw, but in no way salacious manner -- endearingly actually.
Having had friends who worked in video rental back in the day, both non - and all-porn, there was nothing to shock me in the book (aside from Davis' love of horrible 90's synth-pop group, AQUA), but I definitely wouldn't lend or recommend this to my mom, let's say. Davis writes real, unvarnished, just as she saw it / read it / experienced it stuff. Gross and giggle-inducing.
Keep the sanitizer on hand.
⭐️⭐️⭐️ &1/2
Davis is funny, acutely observational, relatively non-judgemental, and one smart cookie. For this book to work in an era 20 years after it's writing; when both VHS/DVD rental stores and online blogs are all but extinct, it is a testament to her literary voice and narrative skills. And of course, all the porn. (What a leap in smut indulgence the Internet has made for humanity!)
Ali herself is a likable main character in the book, surrounded by "interesting" customers and co-workers who act as a revolving cast in her video clerk "sitcom". Littered with anecdotal incidents and surprisingly astute (non-clinical) analysis of sex and porn, and those who watch it, it is presented in a raw, but in no way salacious manner -- endearingly actually.
Having had friends who worked in video rental back in the day, both non - and all-porn, there was nothing to shock me in the book (aside from Davis' love of horrible 90's synth-pop group, AQUA), but I definitely wouldn't lend or recommend this to my mom, let's say. Davis writes real, unvarnished, just as she saw it / read it / experienced it stuff. Gross and giggle-inducing.
Keep the sanitizer on hand.
⭐️⭐️⭐️ &1/2
July 24, 2016
Wankers I challenged myself to read this genre of writing because I was curious about my ability to process humor in its written form. So, like an oversexed teenage boy or girl, I saw "porn" and picked it up. I'm happy to say there were a few big laugh-out-loud moments. The witty observations that made me both giggle and think were plentiful. I pondered other people's motivations and needs concerning porn. It's a private thing with the Internet now but during the VHS era this was the major resource and I never even thought about what goes one in those rooms. I'm still chuckling. I would have skipped the very last observation because it was preachy but I still call this a win-win.
May 31, 2013
i just dont know about "books" like these. i didnt know it was a blog before i started the book. its strange for something to go from a blog to a book, it doesnt always translate well.
anyway, i'd like to rechristen this book "true video clerk stories." because, i also thought that this was going to be about someone who worked at one of those porn only places where there are probably really shady characters and more in your face stories.
this was just a video store with a porn section. and, yes, most of the stories were about men renting porn. but i am sure you couldve added a few stories about aggro moms and teenagers and voila!
anyway, not really worth the read, meh.
anyway, i'd like to rechristen this book "true video clerk stories." because, i also thought that this was going to be about someone who worked at one of those porn only places where there are probably really shady characters and more in your face stories.
this was just a video store with a porn section. and, yes, most of the stories were about men renting porn. but i am sure you couldve added a few stories about aggro moms and teenagers and voila!
anyway, not really worth the read, meh.
June 13, 2015
I'm sure it's not for everyone, but I'm going to to say that if you enjoy playing Cards Against Humanity or think it would be fun to read through a long list of porn titles to laugh at the funny ones and "WTF?" over the really appalling ones, you'll probably enjoy this quick read.
I thoroughly enjoyed it and wished it had gone on longer. I laughed out loud many times but also found Davis' observations about porn and the people who rented it from the store where she worked to be very thoughtful and interesting. Yes, it's kind of a grossl subject, but it's become a huge part of our culture and I appreciate that this self-identified sex-positive feminist shared her musings about it.
I thoroughly enjoyed it and wished it had gone on longer. I laughed out loud many times but also found Davis' observations about porn and the people who rented it from the store where she worked to be very thoughtful and interesting. Yes, it's kind of a grossl subject, but it's become a huge part of our culture and I appreciate that this self-identified sex-positive feminist shared her musings about it.
February 16, 2011
Loved this book. It was not at all what I expected when I read it over a year ago. At that time I reviewed it on my blog. This is part of what I wrote back then:
What impressed me most about the book was that Davis could have easily taken an entirely negative approach and written exclusively on the seamy side of the porn culture. But, she doesn't do this. In a way, it is almost thoughtful and insightful. And most importantly to me, she doesn't judge anyone. Instead at times Davis almost seems as if she is trying to understand them.
November 13, 2011
I originally read this book back when it was a blog, and I was heartbroken when it went away. It was all that I could do not to do a literal Snoopy Dance of happiness when I discovered that it had been repackaged in book form. Davis is witty, insightful, and screamingly funny, and I foresee this book getting many, many rereads. (I read the blog at about seventeen and managed not to become a serial killer, but it should be noted that occasionally graphic discussion of pornography makes up a big bulk of the writing.)
February 15, 2011
Originally a blog, the author writes about her experiences working in a video store that had a popular porn rental room just down the stairs (yes, there are hidden cameras). The style is for sure bloggy and casual, but Ali Davis is a keen observer, and she is not (in general, at least) full of disdain for her customers. Except the ones that deserve it. I threw this book at a friend when I finished, and asked why she didn't write it first. :)
August 19, 2011
I first read the True Porn Clerk Stories years ago when it was still available in blog form online. After a while it became a ritual to read through the archives once every few years ago and when I realised they were no longer available online I finally took the plunge and bought the compiled Kindle version.
Always funny, always bitingly witty and as ever, way too much information. I still love it.
Always funny, always bitingly witty and as ever, way too much information. I still love it.
September 26, 2011
This book is funny because it is true and it is also a little bit sad because it is true. Ali has interesting insights into not just porn but also human nature and it is good to get her perspective. It also brings back memories from when a former roommate was a part-time video store clerk. My only wish is that there were page numbers, but the anecdotes are short and easy to read. It is also well-written, which is much appreciated. I would read more from this author.
April 9, 2021
If this book hadn't been so short I never would have started it but I have a fetish for weird jobs and in turn the weird 'normals' of other peoples. (Read the book "Gig: Americans Talk About Their Jobs at the Turn of the Millennium"- if you haven't yet) The title, Tue Porn Clerk Stories, seemed like the perfect pallet cleanser, that kinda sounds gross given the context but it was a decent break from the other two-dozen other books I'm trying to find my way to the end of.
May 18, 2013
An interesting look at working in a video store (with a lorn section) in a collection of blog entries from a former clerk. Almost anachronistic now, considering the decline of even chain stores and the availability of online lorn, the book is well-written and is not overly judgmental on the subject matter unless obviously warranted.
December 31, 2013
Maybe it's because I've read it too many times, or maybe I'm getting a little more jaded as I get older each time I read these stories. The stories of the regulars, the sheer ridiculousness of being a clerk get me every time, but the descriptions of the pornography just kind of make me feel a little safer now.
January 4, 2017
I tried to like this book and I did chuckle in a couple of places. Just didn't do it for me. I was expecting something funny and it fell pretty short for me. I loved the Voice of God mike.
The author did a very good job of reading her own book. I would recommend it.
The author did a very good job of reading her own book. I would recommend it.
November 28, 2010
Not a bad book, but much better as a blog than as a compiled book.
January 15, 2011
I read this way back when it was available online, and its only more awesome now. Same words, just more awesome.
April 23, 2011
This is hilarious and everyone should read it. Enough said, I think.
September 9, 2011
Davis recounts tales from her time working in a video store. Very very funny and not too taxing on the brain. A bit like porn really.
August 15, 2011
Insightful, witty, and a pleasure. Ali Davis is a smart and sensible feminist. This book is a great bargain on the Kindle - $5.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 96 reviews