What do you think?
Rate this book
Don't Be Afraid
Hayward's darkly comic novel of adolescent anxiety reveals an unforgettable family caught in a state of mourning.
Meet Jim Morrison--not the lead singer of the Doors who died a rock 'n' roll death in 1971, but a chubby seventeen-year-old living in Cleveland Heights, Ohio, who was born days after the singer's death. Jim, or Jimmy, as most people call him, has been living a largely invisible life, overshadowed by his older brother, Mike, popular and charismatic, and his father, Fort, a stern and unyielding engineer. Jimmy spends his time avoiding gym, transforming his uneventful days into scenes from his favourite movies and occasionally going on banana diets (special banana carrier required).
But everything changes the night the library explodes, with pieces of books and catalogue cards falling like snow from the dark sky. Jimmy is first on the scene with his father and it's soon clear that Mike had been in the library when it exploded, possibly meeting a girlfriend after hours. Mike's death upends the Morrisons' suburban life and any sense of normalcy is destroyed. Their mother, Filomena, is nearly catatonic with shock, and Jimmy must become his much younger brother's nanny, taking him to preschool every day and uncomfortably hanging out with a gang of mothers, watching them breastfeed and talking about peanut allergies.
Life gets even more surreal. The cause of the library explosion remains mysterious, and Jimmy tries to help his father unofficially gather evidence at the site. Add to this his duties surrounding his mother's idea to have a birthday party for his dead brother, and Jimmy finds himself busier and, bizarrely, happier than he's ever been.
With generous humour and characteristic energy, Steven Hayward weaves a story of the undercurrents of family life and the unpredictable ways our paths can unfold.
Meet Jim Morrison--not the lead singer of the Doors who died a rock 'n' roll death in 1971, but a chubby seventeen-year-old living in Cleveland Heights, Ohio, who was born days after the singer's death. Jim, or Jimmy, as most people call him, has been living a largely invisible life, overshadowed by his older brother, Mike, popular and charismatic, and his father, Fort, a stern and unyielding engineer. Jimmy spends his time avoiding gym, transforming his uneventful days into scenes from his favourite movies and occasionally going on banana diets (special banana carrier required).
But everything changes the night the library explodes, with pieces of books and catalogue cards falling like snow from the dark sky. Jimmy is first on the scene with his father and it's soon clear that Mike had been in the library when it exploded, possibly meeting a girlfriend after hours. Mike's death upends the Morrisons' suburban life and any sense of normalcy is destroyed. Their mother, Filomena, is nearly catatonic with shock, and Jimmy must become his much younger brother's nanny, taking him to preschool every day and uncomfortably hanging out with a gang of mothers, watching them breastfeed and talking about peanut allergies.
Life gets even more surreal. The cause of the library explosion remains mysterious, and Jimmy tries to help his father unofficially gather evidence at the site. Add to this his duties surrounding his mother's idea to have a birthday party for his dead brother, and Jimmy finds himself busier and, bizarrely, happier than he's ever been.
With generous humour and characteristic energy, Steven Hayward weaves a story of the undercurrents of family life and the unpredictable ways our paths can unfold.
320 pages, Hardcover
First published January 11, 2011
2 people are currently reading
72 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews
April 8, 2011
This book deserves a lot more press than it received. It's a very beautiful story about a family who is in mourning. It's about the loss of a sibling and a family member, but it's more about how life is absurd and how families communicate with each other.
The narrator is 17-year-old Jim Morrison, born 3 days after the death of the rock star. Jim lost his brother, Mike, when the town library exploded. The novel recounts the events leading up to the explosion and events after. Memory and present narrative go back and forth.
There's sadness in this book, but also humour and hope. Some of the writing is absolutely breathtakingly beautiful.
The narrator is 17-year-old Jim Morrison, born 3 days after the death of the rock star. Jim lost his brother, Mike, when the town library exploded. The novel recounts the events leading up to the explosion and events after. Memory and present narrative go back and forth.
There's sadness in this book, but also humour and hope. Some of the writing is absolutely breathtakingly beautiful.
January 25, 2011
I have to be honest, was looking forward to and dreading to read this one. I went to High School with Steven and he was super intelligent, so I was worried that his writing would be over my head or worse depressing and dull. I didn't know him to well even though we hung in the same group for a while. But let me tell you if I knew he could write like this I would have had a crush on him instead of Michael (now known as Tobias) Tinker.
The Good Stuff
* As the description states so beautifully and bang on - This IS a "darkly comic novel" that deals with family members separately lost in their own grief
* Extremely darkly funny, my type of novel
* Steven really understands how grief affects us all so differently and when something tragic happens how it affects the family as a unit
* Loved that he gives the History and Geography Teacher the names of our respective teachers at Richmond Hill High School (BTW, they were both OUTSTANDING teachers)
* Description of the library brings back memories of my old public library - man I miss card catalogs
* The discussion about the James James poem is hilarious - sort of reminds me of some of the conversations around our dinner table
* Mentions the town of South Porcupine in Northern Ontario where we drove through every year when visiting my mom's family
* Loved the scenes with the mommies from the daycare because they are so very true to life. Trust me I'm a Mom
* Wonderful witty writing and just real and honest -- my review cannot not due this book justice, just go buy the damn think ok
The Not so Good Stuff
* The character of Vivian isn't very strongly developed in my opinion, I wanted to hear more of her voice
* A Library is blown up -- hmm a little sensitive about that since - well - I'm a Librarian and work in a library : )
Favorite Quotes/Passages
"I call Mike my dead brother because he is, and so there won't be any weirdness later. Otherwise there'd be this awkward moment when you'd have to nod and say how sorry you are, just like you'd done if you'd been at the funeral home and had to stand there with me in front of Mike's casket. I'd thank you for being sorry, and maybe you'd say it again, say how really sorry you were, but eventually you'd walk away, leaving me there while you took off somewhere else, anywhere else, relieved it's not you in the middle of this, that it's my dead brother in that coffin, not yours."
"It didn't even look like she could hear us but I guess she might have caught on to the fact that what was happening was the mothering equivalent of having her driver's license revoked."
"I've come to think of the mothers of the other children as the Mothers, like they're a street gang with a ringleader, a bunch of henchmen and also a couple of loser sidekick characters who you know are going to end up being killed early in the movie because of a botched robbery."
"It's libraries, she maintained, that show us what heaven will be like. Look at these books, she'd say, how can there be so many books and no eternity in which to read them."
"I don't want a gun. In the country I'm from"-this was one of my father's favorite things to do, to refer to Canada as if it were a distant other world in the far reaches of the galaxy - "we don't have guns."
What I Learned
* Damn, who knew the boy I mostly remember for singing Rock and Roll, Hoochie Coo in those tight spandex pants(sorry Steve when I think of you that is the outfit I remember the most) could write something so outstanding
* Some facts about Jim Morrison that I never knew
Who should/shouldn't read
* For those who enjoy dark comedies
* Anyone who grew up in the 80's (especially Richmond Hill in the 80's) will enjoy
* Fans of Mordecai Richler will appreciate Hayward's writing
* Honestly I think pretty much anyone could find something to enjoy in this one
4.5 Dewey's
I received this book from Random House in exchange for an honest review
The Good Stuff
* As the description states so beautifully and bang on - This IS a "darkly comic novel" that deals with family members separately lost in their own grief
* Extremely darkly funny, my type of novel
* Steven really understands how grief affects us all so differently and when something tragic happens how it affects the family as a unit
* Loved that he gives the History and Geography Teacher the names of our respective teachers at Richmond Hill High School (BTW, they were both OUTSTANDING teachers)
* Description of the library brings back memories of my old public library - man I miss card catalogs
* The discussion about the James James poem is hilarious - sort of reminds me of some of the conversations around our dinner table
* Mentions the town of South Porcupine in Northern Ontario where we drove through every year when visiting my mom's family
* Loved the scenes with the mommies from the daycare because they are so very true to life. Trust me I'm a Mom
* Wonderful witty writing and just real and honest -- my review cannot not due this book justice, just go buy the damn think ok
The Not so Good Stuff
* The character of Vivian isn't very strongly developed in my opinion, I wanted to hear more of her voice
* A Library is blown up -- hmm a little sensitive about that since - well - I'm a Librarian and work in a library : )
Favorite Quotes/Passages
"I call Mike my dead brother because he is, and so there won't be any weirdness later. Otherwise there'd be this awkward moment when you'd have to nod and say how sorry you are, just like you'd done if you'd been at the funeral home and had to stand there with me in front of Mike's casket. I'd thank you for being sorry, and maybe you'd say it again, say how really sorry you were, but eventually you'd walk away, leaving me there while you took off somewhere else, anywhere else, relieved it's not you in the middle of this, that it's my dead brother in that coffin, not yours."
"It didn't even look like she could hear us but I guess she might have caught on to the fact that what was happening was the mothering equivalent of having her driver's license revoked."
"I've come to think of the mothers of the other children as the Mothers, like they're a street gang with a ringleader, a bunch of henchmen and also a couple of loser sidekick characters who you know are going to end up being killed early in the movie because of a botched robbery."
"It's libraries, she maintained, that show us what heaven will be like. Look at these books, she'd say, how can there be so many books and no eternity in which to read them."
"I don't want a gun. In the country I'm from"-this was one of my father's favorite things to do, to refer to Canada as if it were a distant other world in the far reaches of the galaxy - "we don't have guns."
What I Learned
* Damn, who knew the boy I mostly remember for singing Rock and Roll, Hoochie Coo in those tight spandex pants(sorry Steve when I think of you that is the outfit I remember the most) could write something so outstanding
* Some facts about Jim Morrison that I never knew
Who should/shouldn't read
* For those who enjoy dark comedies
* Anyone who grew up in the 80's (especially Richmond Hill in the 80's) will enjoy
* Fans of Mordecai Richler will appreciate Hayward's writing
* Honestly I think pretty much anyone could find something to enjoy in this one
4.5 Dewey's
I received this book from Random House in exchange for an honest review
April 18, 2012
I read this book when it was first published and I was extremely moved by it. I liked that the protagonist was always in the shadow of his older sibling, and then his sibling died. I really see it as a beautiful depiction of a young man trying to forge an identity for himself after something awful had happened. I really should get to reading Steven Hayward's other books.
January 8, 2022
Losing a loved one can be… awkward. People don’t know how to act around you or speak to you. You have to figure out what your new normal is going to be without the person you lost. You have to process your own feelings and your own grief while you watch others you love processing theirs. It’s all messy and ugly and painful. But you learn a few things along the way.
This book was a candid look at all of those things. We see it all through the eyes of Jim as he tries to hold his family together following an explosion at the local library that kills his brother Mike. We’re witness to every shared memory (fond or otherwise), every breakdown, and every triumph in his struggle to get through the days following Mike’s death. It felt real and raw, but surprisingly was funny in a lot of ways.
It’s also a bit of a love letter to Cleveland suburban life. As a local, I very much enjoyed the references to the things like Lake View Cemetery and The Plain Dealer and lots of other recognizable landmarks of Cleveland life. It was one disparaging comment about the Browns short of feeling 100% authentic, but what can you do.
I kind of feel everything wrapped up a bit too sweetly at the end - I don’t know, I just don’t see everything and everyone going back to okay after the final paragraphs of the story. I am glad, however, that there was a happy enough ending, as books like these can venture into being downright depressing, and I don’t feel this one ever did. It made my heart ache more than once, but it also made me laugh and smile, and considering the nature of the story, I admire the ability to strike that level of balance. It was a deft hand that crafted this story, and the hard work paid off. This read a whole lot like David Sedaris - albeit fiction - but with lots more heart.
This book was a candid look at all of those things. We see it all through the eyes of Jim as he tries to hold his family together following an explosion at the local library that kills his brother Mike. We’re witness to every shared memory (fond or otherwise), every breakdown, and every triumph in his struggle to get through the days following Mike’s death. It felt real and raw, but surprisingly was funny in a lot of ways.
It’s also a bit of a love letter to Cleveland suburban life. As a local, I very much enjoyed the references to the things like Lake View Cemetery and The Plain Dealer and lots of other recognizable landmarks of Cleveland life. It was one disparaging comment about the Browns short of feeling 100% authentic, but what can you do.
I kind of feel everything wrapped up a bit too sweetly at the end - I don’t know, I just don’t see everything and everyone going back to okay after the final paragraphs of the story. I am glad, however, that there was a happy enough ending, as books like these can venture into being downright depressing, and I don’t feel this one ever did. It made my heart ache more than once, but it also made me laugh and smile, and considering the nature of the story, I admire the ability to strike that level of balance. It was a deft hand that crafted this story, and the hard work paid off. This read a whole lot like David Sedaris - albeit fiction - but with lots more heart.
November 25, 2013
Don’t Be Afraid by Steven Hayward
315 pages
★★★
This is from the point of view of 17 year old Jimmy. His older brother is killed in a freak accident; he drops out of school to care for his little 4 year old brother when his mother loses all sanity. As if the loss of his brother isn’t enough, he forced to become an adult even quicker. It’s a story about loss, grieving, and how each family member deals with the loss.
A couple months ago I went to a book reading for an author, but also there was this author, Steven Hayward. I have never heard of him. He’s mostly been published in Canada (his home country) but currently resides and is a professor in my city. When he read from his book, it piqued my interest just enough to check out from the library.
Looking at other people’s reviews it seems to be one of those love it or hate it kind of books. But watch me be a rebel and give a neutral rating of 3 out of 5 stars. I enjoyed the premise of the book. I enjoyed the resilience and the dark humor found in the book. I couldn’t stop reading it because I just wanted to know where it was going. I could relate to the amount of grief. However, even with all those great things, I had trouble connecting to the characters and it sort of wrecked my experience. I didn’t too much care what happened to them. The only character that I liked much at all was the father. It had potential but it just felt like something was missing that left me feeling letdown.
315 pages
★★★
This is from the point of view of 17 year old Jimmy. His older brother is killed in a freak accident; he drops out of school to care for his little 4 year old brother when his mother loses all sanity. As if the loss of his brother isn’t enough, he forced to become an adult even quicker. It’s a story about loss, grieving, and how each family member deals with the loss.
A couple months ago I went to a book reading for an author, but also there was this author, Steven Hayward. I have never heard of him. He’s mostly been published in Canada (his home country) but currently resides and is a professor in my city. When he read from his book, it piqued my interest just enough to check out from the library.
Looking at other people’s reviews it seems to be one of those love it or hate it kind of books. But watch me be a rebel and give a neutral rating of 3 out of 5 stars. I enjoyed the premise of the book. I enjoyed the resilience and the dark humor found in the book. I couldn’t stop reading it because I just wanted to know where it was going. I could relate to the amount of grief. However, even with all those great things, I had trouble connecting to the characters and it sort of wrecked my experience. I didn’t too much care what happened to them. The only character that I liked much at all was the father. It had potential but it just felt like something was missing that left me feeling letdown.
June 27, 2013
This book was highly recommended by two of my Goodreads friends whose opinion I value highly. Unfortunately, I felt unable to give it a five star rating. "Don't Be Afraid", told through the voice of 17 year old Jimmy, is the story of a family grieving the death of Jimmy's older brother. There is a dark, humorous, streak throughout the book. Jimmy's mother finds herself unable to look after her family, so Jimmy (unable to handle school) looks after his five year old brother, taking him to day-care and associating with other mothers. His sister, Vivian, takes over the cooking - microwave only - and serves out "interesting" looking meals. His father becomes obsessed with finding out exactly what happened to cause Mike's death. I enjoyed the quirkiness of the book. I liked Jimmy's character - a modest, shy young man, with a real love of family. However, I felt no real involvement with either Jimmy or any of the other characters. There are some books where one cares passionately about the characters, emotionally shares their ups and downs, and is fully engaged with their story. Sadly, for me, this book was not one of them.
May 27, 2012
The author is a friend of my sister, though I have never met him. I thoroughly enjoyed the book. I liked the way the story unfolded, making it compelling to keep reading to find out more detail. Yet, ultimately, each of the characters was probably just an exaggeration (or not) of people we all know in our day to day lives, making the book feel familiar, yet a bit discomforting -- could that be my son, my neighbor, the new girl at school? Couldn't the people in my life be struggling in equally odd ways with the burdens they bear? Don't we all just ultimately find some way to get by -- some miraculously and most in a meandering, shifting, evolving, and sometimes bewildering and shocking way?
And yet: "You'll be fine. It's not everything, you know, being fine. And some would tell you it's overrated." (page 298)
And yet: "You'll be fine. It's not everything, you know, being fine. And some would tell you it's overrated." (page 298)
June 20, 2012
After reading Dr. Hayward's (I know him as Dr. Hayward - took him for Shakespeare in college) first novel, The Secret Mitzvah of Lucio Burke, I had very high expectations. Unfortunately this book didn't pull me in the way the first did. I wasn't excited by the mystery - what caused the explosion in the library - and the characters didn't always seem authentic. All of the warmth and humanity is present in the writing but there was just something that didn't work for me.
Additionally, I think because the story takes place in Cleveland Heights where I grew up, the story lacked the kind of escapism I typically look for in a novel. I don't blame the author for that. I know the places and could tell where creative license took over (there are also a couple of anachronisms only a local would catch).
Additionally, I think because the story takes place in Cleveland Heights where I grew up, the story lacked the kind of escapism I typically look for in a novel. I don't blame the author for that. I know the places and could tell where creative license took over (there are also a couple of anachronisms only a local would catch).
May 2, 2011
I think this was a book I should have put down when I couldn't really get into it - I'm convinced I would have liked it more if I had waited. I feel like I should have something better to support my first two star review, but I just didn't get into the story or the characters. I really think it would have been better if I had waited longer after reading the Secret Mitzvah of Lucio Burke, because I loved it so much, and I wanted more of it. Lesson learned - space them out!
ETA: just heard on the radio this weekend that Pope John Paul II's first address included the phrase "don't be afraid."
I immediately thought of Hayward's book and the connections between faith, miracles and visions that he explores. Interesting......
ETA: just heard on the radio this weekend that Pope John Paul II's first address included the phrase "don't be afraid."
I immediately thought of Hayward's book and the connections between faith, miracles and visions that he explores. Interesting......
December 12, 2012
I rarely give a book a 5 but I felt this book was amazing. This is a story of a family that is dealing with the death of their son/brother under circumstances that are not entirely clear. The grief of each individual plays out in entirely painful ways for the reader as well. The quality of the writing was exquisite and had me from the beginning page. Unfortunately I am posting this review too long after the reading experience.
Re-read this novel for my Book Club selection in November 2012. I continue to love this book. The writing, the dialogue and the story are all wonderful. Hayward does a great job of writing from J. J. perspective and yet he also is successfuly in portraying the adults as well. This will continue as one of my all time favourites.
Re-read this novel for my Book Club selection in November 2012. I continue to love this book. The writing, the dialogue and the story are all wonderful. Hayward does a great job of writing from J. J. perspective and yet he also is successfuly in portraying the adults as well. This will continue as one of my all time favourites.
July 12, 2011
I enjoyed this book. The characters and their reactions are totally believeable and evoke sympathy. There was some lovely writing. I was pleased that the ending did not turn out to be a contrivance. There were some suggestions that this would happen and I was prepared to be annoyed. A good read. (Whoops, pardon the pun.)
Interesting little aside was the function of the psychiatrist who was using the traditional talk therapy approach. Today the Globe and Mail reported on plans for the new mental health manual that doctors from all over use to define whatever mental illness they are diagnosing. The article goes on to describe how psychiatry has moved from talk therapy to drugs, but are now starting to move back. So, the psychiatrist in this book was up to date!
Interesting little aside was the function of the psychiatrist who was using the traditional talk therapy approach. Today the Globe and Mail reported on plans for the new mental health manual that doctors from all over use to define whatever mental illness they are diagnosing. The article goes on to describe how psychiatry has moved from talk therapy to drugs, but are now starting to move back. So, the psychiatrist in this book was up to date!
Read
April 18, 2011Very much enjoyed Steven Hayward's novel - felt like I was reading a channeled version of Paul Quarrington at times - laughed out loud more than once, that's for sure! It brought to mind, in subject and tone, Barbara Gowdy's Falling Angels, Lisa Moore's February, as well as Quarrington's The Ravine - a little bit of the fantastical, some great dialogue, terrific characters that have depth as well as humour. Highly recommended.
February 2, 2012
This is such a stark, beautifully written book about grief, loss and family. For such grim subject matter I was surprised by how witty, charming and darkly funny it was. It reminded me I why I love Miriam Toews. Imagine my surprise to find her in the acknowledgments! I aspire to someday write with such poise and raw emotion as Hayward. I especially loved the posse of preschool parents he calls "The Mothers". So true to life. An absolutely brilliant read. Bravo!
January 16, 2012
This book had a really interesting way of looking at some of the kookier ways we deal with grief. There was something about it that didn't quite grab me, though. I think it was a lack of connection with the narrator/protagonist. I'm not sure why I just never got around to really liking - or even empathizing - with him, but I didn't. Come to think of it I didn't connect with any of the characters. Hmm.
February 3, 2013
I was somewhat nervous about reading this book so soon after the unexpected death of my own brother. Still, I wanted to read how another person expressed this loss. The situation in the book is very different in situation than my own, but the author manages to beautifully, painfully and eloquently express the spaces and drives that the sudden death of a loved one leaves.
April 30, 2015
This book is unlike anything I have read before. It tells the story of how a family deals with unexpected death in a serious, heartfelt way but there is also humour and angst. Just read it you'll understand, or maybe you wont. 4 Stars
March 21, 2011
Loved this one. Funny and charming and outrageously plausible.
August 26, 2019
Enjoyed writing style, I found it very amusing (and for a not amusing top). I also enjoyed many of the references (Family Ties, music, etc.).
June 20, 2011
I enjoyed this, especially the very accurate setting of Cleveland Heights. I recognized a few of the co-op moms too. Ha!
September 10, 2011
A touching, funny, well constructed story. I looked forward to reading it, and was pleased every time I open the book.
February 12, 2011
Quirky warm hopeful visual altogether enjoyable book. In my 'precious' category.
February 24, 2013
Quick read & pretty entertaining. I just wasn't crazy about how it ended.
Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews