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Nothing to Do But Stay

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Carrine Gafkjen was, as her daughter remembers, at once the most liberated and unliberated of women. If she had considered the subject at all she would have thought it a waste of time. She firmly believed in destiny; what fate planned for her she dealt with head-on. In the early 1900s the twenty-five-year-old Gafkjen boarded a train from Minneapolis to claim a homestead for herself on the western North Dakota prairies. She lived alone in her claim shack, barred her door at night against the coyotes, existed on potatoes and salt, and walked five miles to the nearest creek to wash her clothes. A decade later she had, by her own ingenuity, doubled her landholdings and became a secure women of property. Then, at an age when most other women would have been declared spinsters, Carrine Gafkjen married Sever Berg and had six children. Nothing to Do but Stay tells the story of this uncommon woman with warmth and good humor. It gives testimony to the lasting spirit of our pioneer heritage and, in these uncertain times, to the staying power of family and tradition. This book will appeal to all those with an interest in the settlement of the West, the history of the Great Plains, women's studies, and the perseverance of the early-twentieth-century farmers.

128 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1991

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Carrie Young

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 155 reviews
Profile Image for Linda (NOT RECEIVING NOTIFICATIONS).
1,905 reviews328 followers
March 31, 2018
This gentle assemblage of memories by the youngest child of parents of Norwegian descent gives true meaning to the frontier spirit. Ahdele Carrine Berg, aka Carrie Young, lovingly expressed her thoughts in the form of eight short stories. Six were reprinted after they were first published in various magazines. I had no problem reading it in this format.

1. The Education Of A Family

My pioneer mother was wild for education. The sheer amount of giving freely to help others was played over and over. From the late 1920s through The Depression and at the start of WWII, six children completed high school -a fete in itself- and graduated from college. Both parents turned hardship into necessity to see that their children were educated.

2. The Seedling Years

Having already lived in a tarpaper shanty to take advantage of the offer of free land in North Dakota, Carrine Gafkjen married Sever Berg when she was 34 years of age. He had also homesteaded a claim. It was 1913. This heartwarming tale was about their early years.

3. Prairie Cook

The food! Don’t read this in an empty stomach.

4. The Last Turkey

Mrs. Berg decides to raise turkeys to make some extra pin money. Did I mention that Mr. Berg hates turkey?

5. Ole And Anna

Ole was Carrie’s uncle and her mother’s eldest brother. Mrs. Berg was not pleased when he followed her from Minnesota and acquired the farm across from hers. And she had valid reasons for not liking this. North Dakota had been ‘dry’ since its statehood in 1889 but that didn’t stop Ole from enjoying himself. After years of imbibing, he married his housekeeper, Anna, at the ripe age of 55. I am sure Ole and I would not have gotten along. Read it and you’ll understand why.

6. A Fourth Of July In North Dakota

Two bachelor brothers pull out all the stops to celebrate the 4th of July.

7. The Best of Both Worlds

Sharing the differences of what it meant to be Norwegian and live in America.

8. Thanks for the Last

Celebrating Christmas -or Thanksgiving- with her father’s friend from his bachelor days and his family was an all-day affair.

~~~~~
I enjoyed Carrie sharing bits of nostalgia. Each story was heartwarming and I appreciated the Norwegian background and how important their deep roots extended. If you loved reading Little House on the Prairie or Anne of Green Gables you should find contentment with Carrie’s look back on her childhood. About the only thing that would have made it better was if there were an epilogue with an explanation of what became of each family member.
Profile Image for Book Concierge.
3,080 reviews387 followers
February 23, 2017
The subtitle is “My Pioneer Mother,” and much of this memoir features Young’s mother Carrine Gafkjen Berg. But this is really the story of a family’s experiences in the early 20th century in North Dakota.

At age twenty-five, already considered a spinster, Carrine left Minneapolis to claim her own homestead on the western North Dakota prairie. Through her own hard work and perseverance, she managed to amass a key parcel of fertile land, living alone first in her claim shack and then in a modest farm house. A decade later she met and married Sever Berg, and they had six children.

Rather than a strictly chronological order, the book is divided into chapters by subject. Some of the chapters cover years of the family’s life (The Education of a Family and The Seedling Years, for example), while others focus on specific events (The Last Turkey or A Fourth of July in North Dakota). All are full of wonderful, loving descriptions of life on a settler’s farm, some funny, some touchingly poignant.

I particularly loved the first story about Young’s mother’s insistence on education for her children. She had to leave school after only three years to work on her own parents’ farm, and then was sent to Minneapolis to work at a boarding house, cooking and cleaning. She and her husband went to extraordinary lengths to ensure their children got the educations that they were unable to achieve. Despite the great depression, they managed to send all six of their children to college.
Profile Image for Judy.
3,543 reviews66 followers
December 12, 2017
North Dakota c 1910-1940
Norwegians

The author fondly recalls her childhood on the ND prairie. As I read, I kept wondering if her mother were human. How would it be possible for any woman to do so much work, do it splendidly, and raise six children (born in a span of 9 years)? Carrie was the youngest in the family, so the tale has the rosy glow of childhood memories. She mentions snow and drought, but never says much about wind. Her mother makes all of their clothes (and bakes all of the bread, does the washing, tends to her bachelor brother down the road, helps with the milking, raises chickens, ...), but Carrie says nothing about wearing hand-me-downs. Having five older sisters, I'd be surprised if she had many brand new dresses.

Tragedy never strikes this family, or not in a way that impressed young Carrie. The drought and depression must have hit pretty hard, but her parents seem to have taken it all in stride. Severe winter blizzards however, made getting to school a real problem. Instead of using a car to drive the two miles, Dad had to hitch the horses to a wagon and make the round trip twice a day. This was dangerous, so the girls had to live in the schoolhouse for weeks at a time. (Yep, that would impress me, too.) Woven throughout the book are references to her Norwegian heritage, the cooking, the habits, the language, the pride.

p 70 Here she describes her mother preparing coffee for the men harvesting the wheat.
I see my mother standing over the black cast-iron range making coffee in a giant granite coffeepot, see her vigorously grinding the coffee at the hand grinder on the wall, see her mixing the ground coffee with an egg—shell and all—and dropping it into the pot, pouring boiling water over it, letting it settle, then pouring a cup of cream into it.

This is probably the 3rd or 4th book I've read that mentions an egg in the coffee. What's its purpose? Does it affect the flavor? (The reference to a 'granite' coffeepot means that it was graniteware - also known as enamelware, porcelain enamel fused with metal.)

And, near the bottom of the page: The men reach eagerly for the doughnuts, because my mother is a superb doughnut maker, having made at least enough of them in her lifetime to provide her with a chain link to heaven.
Profile Image for ♏ Gina☽.
901 reviews168 followers
May 9, 2019
Carrine was a woman unto herself. In an age when women were supposed to stay at home, cook, clean, and make babies, she boarded a train alone in Minneapolis with a goal of claiming a homestead in the wild area of western North Dakota.

Brave beyond her years, she was bound and determined to succeed. To say she was a success is putting it mildly. She works hard and is eventually one of the largest land owners in the state.

In the beginning, she eked out a living in her claim shack, surviving by will and determination alone. At night, she had to bar her door to keep the coyotes from attacking. Washing her clothing required a 5-mile trek to water. She lived on basically potatoes. To top all of it off, a decade later when she would be considered a spinster, she found her love and managed to have 6 children.

This is a book about what total determination, courage, and the ability to cope with unexpected occurrences can get a person. It was a great read - and it made me ever so thankful for indoor plumbing, a washer and dryer, a microwave, and a stove, not to mention heat and air conditioning.

It's a short book at just under 130 pages but it packs a lot in those pages.
Profile Image for Kit M.
26 reviews
March 18, 2017
I love this little book, it isn't going to change your life- but it is a sweet nostalgic look back at a way of life that doesn't exist anymore with the advent of technology. It also has a few tempting recipes to try. Can easily be read in one to two sitting, great for a plane or train trip!
Profile Image for April eclecticbookworm.
871 reviews43 followers
September 3, 2019
Short remembrance of the author's childhood (late 1920s-1940s?) particularly of her mother in what was still a harsh North Dakota prairie. It was sweet and interesting.
Profile Image for Jenni.
356 reviews7 followers
February 24, 2008
I have currently "endured" four harsh Minnesota winters and I often ponder how the early settlers survived the freezing cold, bitter wind, and unheated (other than fireplaces and stoves) homes. I enjoyed reading about the author's family and their experiences growing up in North Dakota. It was interesting to hear about the daily life, celebrations, food, education, and traditions of her family. Her mother was an amazing woman to settle a homestead on her own and have six children after the age of 34. I think my daily housework is difficult but yet I have never washed clothes by hand in freezing temperatures, nor driven my children to school in a horse-drawn sleigh in subzero temperatures. I will look at my work load much different after reading this book.
Profile Image for Cheri.
475 reviews19 followers
October 24, 2015
Being a pioneer on the prairie has always seemed one of the most horrendous lives possible, so I picked up this book to see why someone would actually want to do it. The book is not, in fact, a story about the author's mother, but reminiscences of the author's own childhood. I wish she would have explained why her mother, when she was young and unmarried, got a plot to homestead all alone, but that motivation was never explained. Still, the book painted a wonderful picture of family life on the prairie.
Profile Image for Kris.
115 reviews
January 4, 2012
One of the most enjoyable books I read in a long time.

Jan. 12 The thing I noticed most after reading this the second time is Carrie's positive attitude. She lived through the dust bowl - a very trying time for farmers. Yet there is little to no emphasis on this or "woe is me" thinking in her writing.
Profile Image for Sandra The Old Woman in a Van.
1,435 reviews72 followers
August 17, 2019
I wanted to read a book for North Dakota (50 state challenge) that was not written by the state’s most famous author Louise Erdrich. I found this memoir and was not disappointed. I have been reading and comparing/studying memoirs since I read The Art of Memoir earlier this year. The voice in this book is stolid and consistent with the Scandinavian Lutheran culture that settled the region. In contrast to Mary Karr’s advise to “show” rather than “tell” this author’s book reads often like an expository essay. At first this bothered me, but then I realized this IS the voice I would imagine from a woman growing up in Northwestern North Dakota. I felt her culture and history as one should reading a memoir. This book contrasted wonderfully with The Woman Warrior, a memoir I read a few books back.

One absolutely delightful (for me) aspect of this memoir were the descriptions of food and recipes. The author refers to her mother’s potato salad a couple of times (described as tangy and the best food ever and a dish where there were never any leftovers). Hmmmm - I wondered if this could possibly resemble my grandmother’s potato salad (from neighboring Iowa). Well, low and behold, the recipe for the dressing is finally provided and it is almost exactly like the potato salad I grew up with (and unlike any I have ever had anywhere else). The one addition was sour cream stirred into the cooled cooked dressing. OMG - how can sour cream not make something better??? I am now adding this to my recipe to try list. There were several other Norwegian dishes that drove me to Google recipes and even Youtube videos. Most likely I won’t put these into my regular rotations, but I did find them fascinating and will be on the look out for Scandinavian restaurants that may serve them. One I may make for my upcoming birthday is a daffodil cake - a citrusy flavored melding of a chiffon and angel food cake.

If you have roots in the midwest or an interest in learning more about the psyche and cultural features unique to different regions of the US, especially from a woman’s point of view, you will likely enjoy this approximately 100 page memoir.
Profile Image for Elinor.
Author 4 books281 followers
April 10, 2020
Some women are larger than life. Carrie Young's mother, born to Norwegian immigrants, was one of them. Carrine Gafkjen homesteaded ALONE in North Dakota in 1904 (note that the U.S. allowed women to stake their own homesteads; the Canadian government never did, in spite of intense lobbying by women), proved up her homestead, married somewhat late in life to a neighbouring farmer at the age of 34, bore six children, and sent them ALL to college. This memoir is an ode not only to her, but to her husband and children, who worked and struggled through hardships resembling the stuff of fables. It's a short, but fascinating and uplifting read.
Profile Image for Carin.
Author 1 book114 followers
July 22, 2015
A friend told me a few months back that if I liked Laura Ingalls Wilder (and do I ever!) then I really ought to read this book, which is the author's memoir mostly about her mother, who was a homesteader in North Dakota in 1905.

The book is divided into sections, and each section is basically a stand-alone essay. So there's one section all about Norwegian-North Dakotan hospitality and foods, one about her Uncle Ole, but my favorite was the first and longest section, about her mother deciding to take a homestead, marrying in her mid-30s and promptly having 6 children, and as one of those children, what the author's life was like growing up during the Depression, even having to spend winters sleeping in the one-room schoolhouse where her sister taught because the weather was too severe for their father to drive them to and from, even on the weekends. The siblings each paid for each others' education which was really great, although I was sad when the oldest sibling who did end up getting the most education (after getting her bachelor's in education she went back to school for a nursing degree in WWII), ended up getting married and quitting work to stay at home. The author seemed disappointed about that as well, which was a refreshing perspective during a fairly traditional time.

Their time on the prairie, while at times not easy, was never terrible. They made it through the Depression, rarely got in debt, supported each other, and had a great extended community of Norwegian-Americans (and the occasional Swede). It's a nice and light book, not telling dark tales of a rough time in our history. If you're looking for a memoir with a through-thread of narrative, this will disappoint, so be prepared for that. But it's a great slice of life from a time and place we don't know much about in our nation's past.
Profile Image for Avis Black.
1,584 reviews57 followers
October 18, 2021
Though this book might be ignored by those not into regional memoirs, it's really quite good. Don't miss it if you come across a copy. Note: Some of the reviewers ask why the author doesn't mention having to struggle through the Dust Bowl. The main areas impacted by the Dust Bowl were western Kansas, eastern Colorado, western Texas and Oklahoma, and eastern New Mexico. It hit the traditionally dryer areas of these states, and northern plains states like North Dakota were less affected.

Available at Open Library:
https://openlibrary.org/works/OL34766...
Profile Image for Alaina.
72 reviews5 followers
August 16, 2011
Short and sweet, I finished this little book in two sittings. Very nostalgic, full of little anectdotes of her parents' early years as homesteaders in the North Dakota prarie, and also stories from her own youth as the youngest of their six children. It has the voice of an older person fondly remembering the simpler days of youth, when she worked hard and played hard, and waited from Christmas until the Fourth of July for hand-cranked ice cream. It reminded me of listening to my own Grandmother telling us her stories. I enjoyed it very much.
19 reviews15 followers
August 10, 2015
A perfect book of the genre of someone remembering the life of their Norwegian immigrant parents on the high plains and their growing up years. Lots of interesting details about women's, men's, and children's lives on homesteads and during the Great Depression. A real gem.
211 reviews10 followers
October 7, 2022
Short (too short!) and fascinating description of life in the early 20th century on the North Dakota prairie.

The book is titled for her mother, who as a single woman in her 20s gained not just one but two 320-acre parcels of excellent farmland before marrying at 34. She sounds like an amazing women. The stories are really childhood reminiscences.

It's similar to the Little House books -- life hadn't changed that much for rural Americans living off the land. They work hard by necessity, face hardship with courage -- but the stories are entertaining, and Young draws out the humor well.

When the winter roads didn't allow the father to drive the girls to school and driving them by horses proved too taxing, the girls stayed in the schoolhouse for several weeks. They are thoroughly spooked by ... no spoiler here.

Young's family and childhood community were Norwegian, and the language, culture, and food feature in her stories. It's all very charming and makes me realize how much we have lost in a short time span.

241 reviews1 follower
July 14, 2025
This slim volume will appeal most to people who enjoy reading about pioneer days/ways/settings. It's well written, and is often humorous. The author is best at describing people, places, events, and the details of Norwegian homesteading. The chapters describing holiday customs were particularly interesting.

Although I recognize it was a noble undertaking on their part (and not nearly as likely to happen in today's society), I got a little bored when Young spent too much time describing the various jobs her multiple siblings took on to make a living and help support the family. I do give her credit for describing family members' both positive and negative traits and habits. It made them seem more like real people, rather than sanitized versions of themselves, which authors can have a tendency to do.
Profile Image for Anson Cassel Mills.
664 reviews18 followers
June 18, 2019
Ahdele B. “Peggy” Young (1923 - 2017)—who wrote under the pen name Carrie Young—was a food writer and author of short fiction who lived most of her adult life in Ohio. This series of eight anecdotal essays treats farm life during the early 20th century among Scandinavian pioneers in far northwestern North Dakota where she grew up. Young writes with unabashed nostalgia—probably more than a university press would find acceptable today—so the chapters have less of a harder edge than the title might suggest. Many of these autobiographical essays are written with cleverness and flair, and I think the book might be better known had not northwestern North Dakota been home to so few people a hundred years ago and even fewer today.
Profile Image for Sarah Coller.
Author 2 books46 followers
November 18, 2021
I enjoy memoirs like these---I really should look for some more. I liked reading about all of the food and recipe descriptions, especially. I thought her mother was a genius in the way she used her chickens to breed turkeys---fantastic! I was also amazed at the way the doctors experimented with extreme dehydration to try to repair a detached retina. Can you imagine how dehydrated you'd have to be to make your eyes dry up enough to pop your retina back into place? Sad. The subtitle "My Pioneer Mother" is a bit misleading as there are really only a few lines about her mother as a single person and the book is just as much about everyone else as it is about her. At any rate, it was a good read---I'm glad I took the time.

Profile Image for Travis West.
46 reviews
December 27, 2021
A short, and lovely collection of stories of Young's migrant ancestors. If you're interested in life in the Dakotas, life as a new immigrant and the blending of homeland-and new american identities this is a great read. If you like non-fiction heartwarming stories of family this is for you.

My favorite section in this book was the 7th "Best of Both Worlds" a short romp through the way that norwegian language intertwined itself with english in the household. Really interesting for me and mirrors things seen in Films like Nybggarna (1973) and books like Giants in the Earth dealing with the same kind of language intergration and loss.
594 reviews2 followers
July 30, 2017
Packed with warmth and humor, this slender novel tells the story of the author's Norwegian mother who homesteaded on her own, then married and raised a family in North Dakota in 1904. So many delightful memories came to mind while reading about "egg-coffee", cooking huge meals for the men working in the fields, 5 quilts on the bed during the unheated winters, the cream separator, picking eggs from the henhouse, oh and the most memorable --picking rocks from the fields! All reminders of my childhood years on a farm in northern Iowa. My own Norwegian great-grandfather homesteaded in Minnesota. This book was given to my mother by one of my aunts.
Profile Image for Jennifer Hughes.
874 reviews36 followers
September 25, 2021
I discovered this gem in my little library and it piqued my curiosity. It was especially relevant since I reread My Antonia just several weeks ago. This complements stories of authors like Willa Cather and Laura Ingalls Wilder, but the writing isn't as evocative. The real-life stories are incredible, though--it's incredible to think of people living as pioneers only 100 years ago. (The timing of this book about Norwegian settlers was especially fun for me since I recently got a Norwegian exchange student for the school year!)

This book is an enjoyable little read that doesn't ask too much of the reader.
229 reviews
August 6, 2022
I'm not sure how this book ended up in my " to read" pile but I'm glad it did. An amazing and sweet memoir by a woman writing about her childhood and mostly about her mother. Her mother who homesteaded alone in North Dakota in 1904, eventually married, raised 6 children, and sent them all to college (well, they kind of sent each other to college which was cool). A short book - a quick read. Given all that these homesteaders accomplished in their lives, I'm feeling a little silly sitting here in my air-conditioned office trying to decide if it's too hot to go out and mow my lawn on my rider lawnmower...
Profile Image for Anne Vandenbrink.
379 reviews7 followers
March 6, 2020
Carrine Gafkjen, of Norwegian immigrants, claimed a homestead for herself in western North Dakota. She lived alone in her claim shack, existed on potatoes and salt and walked five miles to the nearest creek to wash her clothes. She married late in life but still had 6 children. This story is told by her youngest daughter. Sprinkled with Norwegian phrases, recipes for traditional Norwegian food, it's a story of warmth and good humor, of pioneer heritage and of the staying power of family and tradition.
Profile Image for Jill.
14 reviews
March 17, 2017
I was given this book by a fellow librarian who said it was amazing. She was right. I couldn't put it down. Simply eloquent prose about a woman and her family living on the North Dakota plains. Sweet descriptions of childhood memories centering around education, food, and the strength and fortitude of those who came before us. I didn't purposefully read this during Women's History Month, but I am happy I did. In doing so I feel like I paid respect to the women who did it all first.
456 reviews
April 1, 2019
I loved this little book. Reminded me of my childhood and my great grandmother from Norway. Loved all the Norsk sayings, some I still use today. My mother washed clothes in the kitchen heating water on a wood stove and putting wash tubs on kitchen chairs. I love lefsa and the other Norske treats that we now have at Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter. We make lefsa as a family...so proud to be 100% Norske
9 reviews
April 13, 2021
Loved this book about a young (25 year old) woman who moved to the Dakotas to homestead by herself. She eventually married and raised 6 children. Her view of education was passed on to her children. Each of them felt responsible for paying for the other's education, and ALL of them became well educated. Lots of funny episodes about country schools and Norwegian people before during and after the dust bowl.
43 reviews
May 14, 2017
This book was a quick, but enjoy able read. It gives a glimpse into the life of a a young woman (Corrine Gafkjen), child of Norwegian immigrants, who leaves "civilization" at the age of 25, to homestead on the windswept plains of the North Dakota prairie. The story is told through the eyes of her youngest daughter (the youngest of six children).
Profile Image for Elizabeth Kennedy.
495 reviews2 followers
July 16, 2018
what a wonderful, heartwarming little book! This boo was chock full of amazing, fun information, from living in a one room school house when the weather was bad, to the strangest Christmas tree in North Dakota to a Swedish Thanksgiving with a table overladen with food. I wish there was more, it felt like there could be more, a longer book with more details perhaps???? Recommended!
Profile Image for Lavonne.
286 reviews
November 18, 2019
This is a quick, sweet book about a Norwegian pioneer woman written by her daughter. Growing up with 3/4 of my grandparents being from Norway, this book took me back to some of my earliest memories. I still love making and eating sandbakkels and I especially enjoyed the chapter on one-room schools and higher education. The version I read also had some lovely family photos.
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