What do you think?
Rate this book
How It Feels When a Parent Dies
Eighteen young people ranging in age from seven to sixteen discuss the questions, fears, and bereavement they experienced when one of their parents died.
- GenresYoung AdultGriefDeath
128 pages, Hardcover
First published May 12, 1981
4 people are currently reading
80 people want to read
About the author
Jill Krementz
51 books16 followersJill Krementz is an American photographer and author. She has published 31 books, mostly of photography and children's books. She was married to Kurt Vonnegut for almost 30 years.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
May 13, 2007
My mother died when I was 11 1/2 and this is one book, of many, I wish had been available. Compiled by a photojournalist who’s written many similar books, this one has stories of children from about ages 5-16 who have lost a parent to death. The kids basically tell their own stories and the author took their photos. Tries to be comprehensive: many ages of the kids and many reasons for the deaths of the parents, but I would have appreciated even more diversity and many more kids’ stories. Could be a helpful book for many children.
I changed the star ratings for all the "How It Feels" books from 4 to 5 because I find that I'm constantly recommending them and also because I think they're perfect for inspiring kids to tell their own stories.
I changed the star ratings for all the "How It Feels" books from 4 to 5 because I find that I'm constantly recommending them and also because I think they're perfect for inspiring kids to tell their own stories.
May 23, 2011
No imminent tragedies that I'm aware of in our family/clan - just a topic that I have thought about occasionally. (Also read “Let’s Talk About When A Parent Dies”.)
The author interviewed eighteen different children, aged seven to sixteen, who lost a parent. Each child’s story of their experience and reaction to the parent’s death is presented in essay form with accompanying photos of surviving parents and siblings.
This book could be useful to help a child deal with the loss of their own parent but I think it offers interesting insights to anyone with children in their immediate or extended family.
The most surprising theme for me was the number of times that the children reacted with anger or annoyance to schoolmates and friends learning about their parent’s death. It all seemed to be too much pity, too much “sensitivity”. As one of them said, “I’m still the same person!”
Painful but beautiful in their honesty and innocence, I find the stories lingering in my mind. I read one or two at a time over the course of a week or so. Originally published in 1981, none of the language seems dated and the emotions are timeless. I suspect everyone’s library has a copy and of course the major book sellers will have it or can get it. Worth the time.
The author interviewed eighteen different children, aged seven to sixteen, who lost a parent. Each child’s story of their experience and reaction to the parent’s death is presented in essay form with accompanying photos of surviving parents and siblings.
This book could be useful to help a child deal with the loss of their own parent but I think it offers interesting insights to anyone with children in their immediate or extended family.
The most surprising theme for me was the number of times that the children reacted with anger or annoyance to schoolmates and friends learning about their parent’s death. It all seemed to be too much pity, too much “sensitivity”. As one of them said, “I’m still the same person!”
Painful but beautiful in their honesty and innocence, I find the stories lingering in my mind. I read one or two at a time over the course of a week or so. Originally published in 1981, none of the language seems dated and the emotions are timeless. I suspect everyone’s library has a copy and of course the major book sellers will have it or can get it. Worth the time.
July 13, 2015
I was ten years old when my father died unexpectedly from a heart attack. My family was devastated and I remember feeling extremely isolated from my peers; I was irrevocably changed and I had no idea how to cope with the grief. How it Feels When a Parent Dies was a godsend of a book. Not only did the words of each child ring true to me, just looking at their pictures made it feel real - I was not alone. And knowing that I wasn't alone was liberating. This book helped me through some rough times. Just knowing it was there helped me work through my grief. Highly recommended for children who have lost a parent or for those who work with grieving children.
April 13, 2013
The photography makes the book feel dated, but the stories are timeless. I'm reading 17 years after losing my mom, and there is still something healing about hearing similar stories from children. So many kids who lose a parent don't know anyone else who has, so this book makes a lonely experience a little less so.
August 21, 2025
Having a parent die can be such an isolating feeling, especially when you're younger. This did a good job at making me feel less alone about everything, which I think says something.
February 8, 2019
My mom died when I was 11 and I wonder if this book would’ve helped me...I think it would have. Maybe I would have read the experiences of these kids and seen that it was good to have someone to talk to and that it was ok to respond in all types of ways. Who knows? I think it’s great that someone did the work for the hope of helping kids process this type of loss.
It’s a really quick read and would be helpful for parents to recognize what their kid is going through if they lose a parent. As an adult, I put a lot of reasoning behind different things I did and how I responded as a kid, but I’m speculating a bit because I didn’t think of writing things down or talking to anyone. I didn’t go to therapy until a couple of years ago and I only went for about a year, but I wish I would have done so earlier. I should put it in our will that everyone has to go to therapy if someone dies. At least, it would have been nice to have the opportunity after my mom died.
(As a young adult I read “Letters from Motherless Daughters” that was given to me and it was helpful in starting a grieving process I didn’t know I had been rejecting. But, it’s not a process with an end in this life time. The pain or grief seems to come when I don’t expect it and I’ve learned (slowly and sometimes reluctantly) to allow myself the time to mourn and possibly share with someone I trust. I’d rather process the pain and remember her than try to hide it or deny it and have it erupt somewhere else.)
It’s a really quick read and would be helpful for parents to recognize what their kid is going through if they lose a parent. As an adult, I put a lot of reasoning behind different things I did and how I responded as a kid, but I’m speculating a bit because I didn’t think of writing things down or talking to anyone. I didn’t go to therapy until a couple of years ago and I only went for about a year, but I wish I would have done so earlier. I should put it in our will that everyone has to go to therapy if someone dies. At least, it would have been nice to have the opportunity after my mom died.
(As a young adult I read “Letters from Motherless Daughters” that was given to me and it was helpful in starting a grieving process I didn’t know I had been rejecting. But, it’s not a process with an end in this life time. The pain or grief seems to come when I don’t expect it and I’ve learned (slowly and sometimes reluctantly) to allow myself the time to mourn and possibly share with someone I trust. I’d rather process the pain and remember her than try to hide it or deny it and have it erupt somewhere else.)
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews