Note: This review was written as a course requirement for my class: History of Women and Feminism in the Philippines.
“Dahil sila’y mga babae… at imposible para sa babae na kalabanin ang lalaki. It’s a man’s world.” (Translation: It’s because they are women… and it is impossible for women to oppose men, it’s a man’s world.)
These are the words of Julian, a husband, a father, to her wife on why women should not get irritated with him. This is a prime example of a patriarchal man. Contemptible words, yet somehow, are sadly true. How did his wife, Amanda, respond? She rolled her eyes, but she kept quiet. She discerned that to contest this would be futile. Why? Because she didn’t know any better. She was a woman molded in a society that conformed to this belief. Yes, she existed in a nation were men dominated, but she will learn that she was not in a man’s world.
“Maghubad ka na, sabi niya. Ni hindi niya tinanong kung gusto ko nga ba maghubad. Basta ‘maghubad ka na,’ period. Kailangan sakin mismo manggaling ang natitirang pamproteksiyon sa dignidad ko. Puwede bang magpatay muna tayo ng ilaw? Na sinagot niya ng maikli, walang damdaming ‘oh’. No’ng unang gabing ‘yon, ni hindi niya tinanong kund hindi ba ko nasaktan. Basta ng matapos na siya, natulog na siya. Naghilik na siya.”
(Translation: Take off your clothes, he said. He didn’t even ask me if I wanted to take it off. He just said ‘take it off’ period. I had to be the one to protect what little dignity I had. I asked ‘Can we turn off the lights? He answered with a short and empty ‘oh’. That first night, he didn’t even ask if it hurt. He just slept when he was done. He snored.)
“Kakulangan. Sa loob ng dalawampu’t pitong taon ng pagiging asawa ko’y hindi ako ganap na umunlad bilang tao. Nanganak lang ako’t naging ina at wala na. Tumigil na ‘ko sa pagiging ganon. Nawala na ko pagktapos nyon. Nagsilbing bantay na lang ako sa paghanap at pagkatagpo ni Julian ng katuparan niya bilang tao, sa paglaki ng mga bata’t pagtuklas ng kanilang kakayahan at kahalagahan. Sa proseso nito, walang nag-abalang magtanong kung ano na kaya ang mga kaangkinan ko naman. Ni ako, hindi ko alam kung ano pa ako liban sa asawa’t ina. Madalas ngayon ay hinahanap ko ang sarili ko sa harap ng naging papel ko sa buhay…”
(Translation: Emptiness. In the span of twenty-seven years of being a wife I never grew as a person. I gave birth and became a mother then nothing. I stopped there. I was lost after that. I served as a caretaker to Julian as he searched and fulfilled his life’s work, to the growth of my children as they discovered their strengths and importance. In the process, nobody asked me what I have achieved. Even I, I do not know what I am aside from a wife and a mother. Often now, I search for myself in spite of all the roles I have played in life…)
“Ibig kong sabihin,ayoko nang maging doormat mo lang. Taga-abot ng tsinelas mo, taga-timpla ng kape mo! Sa kagaganon, nawala tuloy ako, naging walang klaseng tao ko! Habang panahong nanay na lang! Habang panahong asawa mo lang! Pinaghubad pag gusto, ginanon kung kelan mo gusto! Napaiyak na ko… Bakit hindi pag gusto ko?”
(Translation: I mean I do not want to be just your doormat. Someone whose role is just to pick up your slippers, someone who’s there just to make your coffee! Being that person, I lost myself, I became nothing! Forever just a mother! Forever just a wife! Stripping when you tell me to, being fucked only when you want to! I started to cry… why not when I want to?)
These are the thoughts, the experiences of Amanda, wife of Julian, a mother of 5 boys, a Filipina. This shows the suffering of a typical woman experienced in our country back then and still even in a lot of homes today, she is expected to become a housewife, nothing more. She is boxed, her growth as an individual stunted, she is not given a chance.
The ‘70s was not a kind time to the Filipino people, more so to the Filipino women. Lualhati Bautista’s Award-Winning novel about the awakening of a country and the struggles of a mother, a woman is a gut-wrenching eye-opener to anyone who is willing to hear its angry screams, its searing pleas. The parallelism between the two intertwined stories, the mother and the motherland is truly captivating. The two, the woman and the country are subdued, without true freedom. Dominated, manipulated, chained, one by imperialism and a dictator, the other by a husband and a patriarchal culture. At the start both were as ignorant as babes, as silent as mutes about their rights, about what is theirs. Both were taken for granted, taken advantage of. But slowly, steadily, they progressed. The country was awakened, its people flooded the streets, the masses, the students, priests, nuns, militants full of outrage and passion with shouts of revolution against a dictator that violated their rights and mistreated their countrymen, against a neocolonialist power that stole their lands, raped their livelihood and picked their pockets. The woman, the mother, the wife learned to fight back, to answer, to think for herself. She realized her worth as a woman, as a person, through her own simple way of supporting the revolution because of her children. She realized that to protect her children, her family, she must learn to protect her country. The motherland empowered her; in turn the shackled motherland was empowered equally because of her. Their plights are more connected to each other than it seems, the success of one spelled the success of the other.
“Pero ang babae, talian man ang katawan o suutan man ng chastity belt, ay may uri ng kalayaang hindi mananakaw ng kahit na sino: ang kalayaan niyang mag-isip.”
(Translation: But a woman, you may tie up her body or force her to wear a chastity belt; there is a type of freedom that nobody can take away from her: the freedom to think.)
This passage from the novel reminds me of a particular quotation from one the greatest Feminist writers, someone named Virginia Woolf. “Lock up your libraries if you like; but there is no gate, no lock, no bolt that you can set upon the freedom of my mind.” And it is true, women cannot be restricted, as long as their minds are working, nobody can suppress them. But to really utilize it, this is where education comes in. Women need to be educated about their rights, they must learn to identify the shackles of patriarchy and its brother capitalism, reject their biased culture, spit on these concepts that taught them to be submissive, that taught them to keep quiet and told them they were inferior, these controlling concepts that masks itself as religion, tradition, and good-conduct. But before that, they must first think, and realize that they are in-chains. For how can you set free someone who does not consider themselves as slaves? How can you liberate someone who considers oppression as a state of normalcy? You show them their chains, you rip the veil around their eyes, you educate.
“Naiisip ko… naiisip ko lang naman… wala sanang magalit sakin pero naiisip ko… na kailangan na nga yata natin ng rebolusyon!”
(Translation: I am thinking… I’m just thinking… I wish nobody would get mad at me but I’m beginning to think… that we need a revolution!)
Yes, we have revolted and won the battle for our country to some extent, we brought but down the dictator. Still, we still have a lot of work to do in terms of neo-colonialism though we have achieved great strides. Now, the revolution we need is the revolution against patriarchy. We need a revolution against this entity that paralyzes about half of the people not only in this country, but in the world. We need to revolutionize our way of thinking through education into a more egalitarian one.
Naiisip ko din… na kailangan na natin ng rebolusyon! I am thinking... that we need a revolution. Gender Emancipation! Equality for all!
“Lalakas pa ang tinig ng paghihimagsik, iigting pa ang tapang ng masang Pilipino… hanggang sa makamit ng sambayanan ang tunay at ganap na kalayaan!”
(Translation: The shouts of revolution will get louder; the bravery of the Filipino masses will intensify… until the people achieve true and utter freedom!)
Our country will never achieve true and utter freedom unless its women are free from the chains of patriarchy. After all, it’s a woman’s world too.