The Reluctant Spy: My Secret Life in the CIA's War on Terror

by John Kiriakou, Michael Ruby

Long before the waterboarding controversy exploded in the media, one CIA agent had already gone public. In a groundbreaking 2007 interview with ABC News, John Kiriakou called waterboarding torture—but admitted that it probably worked. This book, at once a confessional, an adventure story, and a chronicle of Kiriakou’s life in the CIA, stands as an important, eloquent piece of testimony from a committed American patriot.In February 2002 Kiriakou was the head of counterterrorism in Pakistan. Under his command, in a spectacular raid coordinated with Pakistani agents and the CIA’s best intelligence analyst, Kiriakou’s field officers took down the infamous terrorist Abu Zubaydah. For days, Kiriakou became the wounded terrorist’s personal “bodyguard.” In circumstances stranger than fiction, as al-Qaeda agents scoured the streets for their captured leader, the best trauma surgeon in America was flown to Pakistan to make sure that Zubaydah did not die. In The Reluctant Spy, Kiriakou takes us into the fight against an enemy fueled by fanaticism. He chillingly describes what it was like inside the CIA headquarters on the morning of 9/11, the agency leaders who stepped up and those who protected their careers. And in what may be the book’s most shocking revelation, he describes how the White House made plans to invade Iraq a full year before the CIA knew about it—or could attempt to stop it. Chronicling both mind-boggling mistakes and heroic acts of individual courage, The Reluctant Spy is essential reading for anyone who wishes to understand the inner workings of the U.S. intelligence apparatus, the truth behind the torture debate, and the incredible dedication of ordinary men and women doing one of the most extraordinary jobs on earth. 

Genres: Nonfiction, Espionage, Biography, History, Politics, Military Fiction, Memoir

226 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2010

About the author

John served in the Central Intelligence Agency first as an analyst, and later as a counterterrorism operations officer, from 1990-2004. He spent much of his career working on Iraq and the Persian Gulf. In 1997 he changed career tracks from analysis to operations and moved to Athens, Greece, where he worked against the notorious terrorist group “Revolutionary Organization 17 November.” He became chief of counterterrorist operations in Pakistan following the September 11 attacks, and his tour climaxed in the March 2002 capture of Abu Zubaydah, then believed to be al-Qa’ida’s third-ranking official.

John Kiriakou became an anti-torture whistleblower and activist when he told ABC News in December 2007 that the CIA was torturing prisoners, that that torture was official U.S. government policy, and that the policy was approved by the President.

John eventually was charged with three counts of espionage, one count of violating the Intelligence Identities Protection Act and one count of making a false statement as a result of the 2007 ABC News interview. Even though he had no criminal intent, and there was no harm to the national security, accepting the plea resulted in a sentence of 30 months in prison.

Reviews

[Linda · Rating 2 out of 5]

Couldn't get past Kiriakou's enormous ego. He's like a used car salesman; slick and smarmy, and explosive at inappropriate times. I was interested in the operational and policy issues, but could have done without the custody battles and self-aggrandizement.

[Seth · Rating 3 out of 5]

The CIA is more than a job - it's a lifestyle choice, but one mired in secrecy and misunderstanding for decades. This book provides a window, intentionally or unintentionally, into the agency to show you how they operate, why the people that work there can get so passionate, and what failings can arise from such passion.

John Kiriakou, who practically stumbled into the spy game (as the title suggests), shows, intentionally and occasionally unintentionally, the strains and stresses the job provides on people who work in that field, and an overview of the things about the agency he cares deeply about. He spends a little time talking in careful, delicate terms about the collapse of his own marriage, spends some time talking about the training agents go through, and talks through life in foreign lands and some of the details about human intelligence and tradecraft.

Roughly the middle third then goes into the details of the CIA after 9/11 which I found fascinating, as well as some specific examples of missions he ran in Pakistan. The latter part of the book goes into his feelings about some of the controversies surrounding espionage, especially torture. Kiriakou cogently tears down some of the strongest arguments against torture and then turns around and builds more solid ones. The result is a more nuanced understanding - at least for me - about a particularly dark part of current US espionage, and finally ending on the rather inelegant and bureaucratic way he left the agency.

My problems - this was too simple a read and too fast a read for a hardcover book. I might be more inclined to recommend it once it gets to a cheaper medium. Many of the issues Kiriakou brings up he does go into or devote his considerable analysis to - for example, he lingers a few times on the divorce rate of intelligence officers, but only to acknowledge it and move on.

Lastly, Kiriakou is a victim of being successful in a clandestine organization, and that may be a problem with memoirs like these: Since there is a lot he can't talk about, the situations he describes are often vague and filled with details he can bring up but not talk about. This made it hard for me to get into those parts of the book. Real situations seemed abstract. And since it is a memoir, some of his events seem really one-sided...though that's probably more of an issue with memoirs than this one.

I'd recommend this book for people who are really interested in current events and modern espionage and wants to get a fuller understanding of the challenges modern spies face today.

[Amy Suto · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this review and other articles from me on www.TheNearbyFuture.com

Many people don't know what they want to do in life. John Kiriakou never guessed he'd end up a spy after college.

He was a man with a love of politics and world history. He would sneak into Consulate Dinner Parties with his friends to meet and take photos with the senators he'd read about. His dogged determination, quick thinking and strong feelings of patriotism would steer him towards a career in the CIA.


But he never wanted to be a spy, just an analyst. His love of the middle east propelled him to learning Arabic. After learning this very difficult language, he was suddenly in demand for field work. And that's how he entered the deadly world of espionage.

In his book The Reluctant Spy, John Kiriakou talks about his adventures and life in the CIA. This piece of nonfiction is more engaging than most fiction, and for anyone interested in learning more about the off-limits world of the CIA.

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

The title is a misnomer in my opinion. The author does not seem reluctant and the only reason I can see that he called it this was because he started as an analyst and moved into operations. Otherwise, he seemed like a very capable and ready case officer. John discusses his time in Greece, working in the Middle East and his time at headquarters. While all of this was good and included a nice overview of the issues of Greek terrorism, one of the things I really liked about this book was that he tied back his life/career to his two boys and his marriage which ended during his time in Greece and how he was able to continue his work while still being a part of his boys life. The book ends with his departure from the CIA, not because of anything truly inflammatory, which again makes me question the title of the book, but overall a solid book.

[Nancy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Totally not my type of thing, but I liked it anyway.. Interesting story from a "six degrees of separation" person I laid eyes on once and may even had said hello to which made it all the more interesting. I feel like I have a much better idea of what goes into protecting our country and the dedication (aka obsessions) of the people doing it. Also confirms how crazy Dick Chaney really is.. lol

[Mathiasquackenbush · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was inspired to read this because of a stirring interview Kiriakou did on the highly-recommended Rolling Stone magazine podcast Useful Idiots (https://www.rollingstone.com/politics...), in which Kiriakou shared about how he was subject to politically-motivated retaliation by John Brennan's CIA for speaking out to journalists in a nuanced way on the CIA's torture program. Ultimately, he spent over a year in prison for speaking to what was already publicly-available information.

The above is part of why I don't want to be too hard on this book. In the years since 2012 when this book was published, Kiriakou has, understandably, undergone a significant political evolution. In his 2019 interview, he speaks from his professional experience to the disingenuousness of the "russian asset" smear that Hillary Clinton employed against Tulsi Gabbard and opines on his belief that the so-called CIA whistleblower responsible for the claims that led to the erstwhile Democratic impeachment effort was essentially an effort of political interference, driven by CIA leadership. This book was written before Kiriakou learned an extremely difficult lesson about the corruptibility of the U.S. system and just in the wake of his CIA career ending. Consequently, it is very soft even on the CIA leadership that later turned on him, not to mention on the U.S. history of intervention abroad. I found it hard to read his fairly black-and-white accounts of America vs "the bad guys" against whom he worked as a CIA analyst and later counterterrorism agent in Greece and Pakistan, with a great deal of empathy for the victims of these terrorist groups and little more than a passing mention of the atrocities committed by the right-wing dictators the U.S. sponsored and propped up the world over.

I made it through this book, barely, because of what I know about what Kiriakou has been subject to for his relatively innocent and naively-made choice to speak to the media about the U.S. torture program, and his bravery in the present day in putting his considerable smarts and expertise in the field of intelligence to use in speaking out against cynical efforts by elites to smear dissenters with facile, xenophobic narratives of treason. As a stand-alone, however, the book reads as a typical name-droppy, ghost-written memoir full of scarcely relevant, self-congratulatory personal anecdotes. Please look up and support John Kiriakou and the work he is doing now (https://www.johnkiriakou.com/), but maybe don't spend your energy reading this book yourself. Save it for your hawkish friend or family member who needs to be convinced Kiriakou somebody who loves and served America and isn't on the side of "the terrorists."

[Liam Glass · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5/5

Pretty interesting, I don’t usually do non-fiction but this was a pretty captivating, easy read. Of course a lot is redacted, and I was curious about the politics of the novel going in, and it further solidifies Dick Cheney as one of the worst Americans to ever live.

[Peter Murphy · Rating 3 out of 5]

good book, but it's clear the author sees himself as a Greek-American Jack Ryan.

You've been a bookish analyst for years and have never fired a gun before, but finished top in your operations class in marksmanship over former navy seals and special operations people? sure, john

[Natasha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting account from a Greek-American working for the CIA, with some bits relating to embassy action in Greece.

[Jack Haseltine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Gobbled this short book up. even though the author admits multiple times that the CIA has deleted most of this book, it still feels at a more accurate look at what working for the CIA is like and what CIA operations officers actually do. Because of the redactions the book does feel incomplete. it feels vague and kids bop. Despite all of that though I still enjoyed it and still feel as though I learned a bit more about how and where the CIA operates.

[Quinn Lavender · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'd probably put this at 2 1/2 stars. I enjoyed learning about how the CIA works, and some of the more "day-to-day" accounts of a field agent and analyst. Definitely the first-hand account of an armed raid was exciting and insightful. So, too, was the author's story of how he was recruited and hired for the agency. This was all new and interesting information to me.

As is often the case in memoirs, personal details are added here that seem out of place. I'm reading this book because you worked for the CIA, and I want to know what that's like. If you need to mention the strain that this job puts on your marriage and family life: that's fine. I can see how that's germane. But I don't need specific details about your divorce, or the time you "kidnapped" your own children from your ex-wife.

Finally, I got to the latter half of the book, I realized that the book was more of a vehicle for the author to share some of this personal and political views, rather than an innocent "this is what it's like to work for the CIA" book. He was a whistle blower against waterboarding, which I applaud him for, but he has some real false humility when all the news outlets come calling for a soundbite. The book degrades from there into a Taylor Swift revenge song against high-profile officials that he did not like and a former boss for whom the term "sour grapes" isn't remotely strong enough.

In a nutshell: the first part of the book is enjoyable; the latter half comes off as petty and childish.

[Michelle · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really need to stop buying memoirs after reading reviews because the reviewers never accurately reflect the tone or theme of the book. I think anyone really interested in specific CIA initiatives would love this, but I was looking for more of a story, about the guy's work and the guy's personal life and how it all blended together. The review I read spoke a lot about how the rigors of his job caused the demise of his marriage and really affected his family. But in the book the marriage is basically reduced to three sentences. We got married. My son told me mommy kisses someone else. We got divorced. That's it. In the entire book. This was not a memoir at all but instead about the author's involvement in a few key operations. Again, a lot of people would probably enjoy this but it was not my cup of tea. Also, the writing was very clunky.

[Mostafa Amir, Ph.D. · Rating 5 out of 5]

John Kiriakou’s, The Reluctant Spy, provides a rare and compelling glimpse into the shadowy world of the CIA during one of its most controversial eras. Part memoir, part exposé, the book recounts his experiences in the War on Terror with clarity and urgency. However, the most captivating element lies not in the tales of "espionage", but in Kiriakou’s moral reckoning with the institution he served and the role he played within it.

The book’s strength is its ability to straddle two identities: it’s an insider’s narrative filled with the tense drama of high-profile intelligence work and a whistleblower’s critique of systemic ethical failings. Kiriakou’s vivid descriptions of operations, particularly the capture of Abu Zubaydah, showcase his skill as a storyteller. Yet, his candid acknowledgment of the moral compromises required in intelligence work is where the memoir gains depth. His eventual decision to reveal the CIA’s use of waterboarding transforms the narrative from a straightforward spy memoir into a significant commentary on accountability.

That said, Kiriakou’s portrayal raises critical questions about reliability and selective disclosure. While he openly critiques the CIA’s methods, his depiction of his own role is often couched in the language of reluctant complicity, casting himself as a principled outsider in an ethically dubious system. This framing, while compelling, risks oversimplifying the complexities of his participation. Did Kiriakou fully grapple with his own complicity in the practices he later condemned? Or does the narrative unintentionally sidestep moments where deeper self-examination might have been warranted?

Additionally, Kiriakou’s critique of the agency occasionally leans toward the personal rather than the systemic, which may leave readers wishing for a broader analysis of the CIA’s structural failings and the wider implications of its policies during the post-9/11 era. While his whistleblowing is undeniably courageous, the book’s narrative arc focuses so intently on his personal journey that it sometimes overlooks the larger geopolitical consequences of the practices he exposes.

Despite these limitations, The Reluctant Spy, succeeds in opening a dialogue about the ethics of intelligence work and the personal cost of challenging institutional power. Kiriakou’s writing is raw, engaging, and deeply human, offering insights that are as troubling as they are necessary. It’s a book that demands readers not only listen but critically engage with the perspectives it presents. For those seeking a deeper understanding of the CIA’s War on Terror and the moral dilemmas at its core, this is an essential, if imperfect, read.

[Denise · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some time last year, I watched a documentary about whistleblowers involving among others John Kiriakou, which eventually pointed me in the direction of his memoir. Given my general interest in the inner workings of intelligence agencies and the like, I finally picked it up. Now, Kiriakou doesn't always come across as particularly sympathetic - and occasionally, as a downright unpleasant individual IMO - in this book, and I disagree with his stance on various issues, but he provides an intriguing, though by necessity at times vague, account of life and a career in the CIA both pre- and post-9/11 along with a sound condemnation of so-called enhanced interrogation techniques which makes some good points and easily kept my interest.

[Robert Clarke · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finally read a book that's been on my shelf for years - John Kiriakou's The Reluctant Spy.

It's a great read, exploring the sometimes glamorous, sometimes frightening, but often hardship ridden life of serving in the intelligence service. Many of John's comments delve into prescient territory (the book was published in 2009), mentioning concerns about going to war with Iraq while bin Laden was still at large, and touching on how the administration in Kabul was getting worse, not better.

John, for his part, is a stand up guy who approached talking about hard issues like waterboarding and "enhanced interrogations" with the nuance they deserve. This book serves as a reminder of the good we can do, and the bad we have to carefully tread to avoid.

[Value LongTerm Investor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tradecraft of making spies
Spot, assess, develop, pitch
Pickup routines

Beirut and Desert Shield

Greece and 17 November

Pakistan - Zubayah

Iraq

Ahmed Chalabi - serial fabricator
Thought they were throwing flowers and hearts and minds, and designing the flag a year before

Failure of 2003-2004 governance of Iraq
Didn’t understand face in Arab culture as to why Saddam didn’t allow WMD

George Tenet thought he was an outside and was too much of a Bush Admin pleaser.

CIA culture was risk aversion and over correcting before 9/11. Very insular, insider and outsider spouses. Not meritocratic. Office politics and Peter principle.

Videotapes destroyed.

[Debra Daniels-Zeller · Rating 3 out of 5]

I almost checked off memoir for this, but one doesn't typically have a co-writer (translation the person who did the hard work of putting the authors words into a readable form). The book was too easy to put down for me, a linear, not very deep story. It was interesting but not compelling. Being an actual writer takes a lot of work and I suspect Kiriakou had his own ideas of telling the story which is a little flat. I was nauseated reading the torture descriptions of what the government does to people arrested, and water-boarding someone 82 times? That's the CIA we all prop up.

[Sebastián Jaén · Rating 5 out of 5]

I did enjoy this book. John is an amazing storyteller. I could not stop reading it. I read the book because I listened to him in an interview and I want to know more about it. It is a window to this secret world of CIA and the game of powers, ego, and politics. Also, it is a recount of the price a person has to pay in order to live up to his values. After reading this book I immediately bought his second book in which he develops further the consequences of being a whistleblower. I do not the accuracy of all what he says, but still it is a very engaging book.

[Jeffrey Alan Andre · Rating 1 out of 5]

The author is in love with Barrack Obama, and despised the Bush/Cheney administration. His first marriage ended in divorce and his career ended with the CIA due to his choices, bad choices. His bitterness about what could have been is evident in reading the book. He had skills, intelligence, and sacrificed his family, and his parents health as he pursued his dreams, making everyone else pay for them.

[Valerie Connors · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was lured into reading this by TikTok interview clips of John Kiriakou. I actually really enjoyed listening to the stories via audio, but I would have liked the author to narrate it himself as I like his voice better than the narrators and it would have given more of an authentic feel.

Kind of makes me want to read his other books too.

[Patrick McNulty · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really enjoyed the book. Love the conversation surrounding our foreign policy in the early 2000s. While I am not personally as interested in Greece in the 80/90s it was well written and engaging. I enjoyed the conversation about both what he was doing at the cia and at home and how the two intertwined. Would highly recommend if the cia/foreign policy interests you.

[Tim · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is definitely a 3.5. Goodreads needs half point ratings. A good in depth story detailing improper and odd practices of the CIA. Mr. Kiriakou sure has an interesting life story having seen him speak before.

[MikamiHero · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is rare to have a piece of work talk about such clandestine activities in a very candid but ultimately first-person recount. A must read for anyone with an interest in intelligence agencies or the intelligence community.

[Thomas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nice procedural account that isn't especially deep but is very enjoyable and at times insightful. I especially like hearing about the author's experiences as a Greek American in a very Anglo organization.

[Alan Paul · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very interesting read. It’s not often you get a look into the true day to day activities of a covert operative, but this book goes into all of it, even the boring bureaucracy of it. Certainly a compelling memoir from a former spy.

[Joshua Glass · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was just okay for me. I have watched several of this guys interviews and he does have some cool sorties. But it’s the same ones he talks about in all of his interviews. I didn’t need to read the book after seeing his interviews. Overall it was just okay.

[Steven · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very entertaining and what a life story, Kiriakou is such an engaging writer. All this time I had a negative image due to a bunch of books mentioning CIA in a bad light (like Tim Weiner or Chomsky), but they are misleading.

[John Cavanaugh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Interesting, reveling. John is a good guy - balanced, fair, open. stand up guy that gives an honest insight into the CIA.

[Jim Nally · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book

Excellent read still timely 11 years later, a good front line analysis of a CIA operative in a full troubled part of the world

[James · Rating 5 out of 5]

Outstanding job written by a CIA operative...the question still lingers as to why the FBI didn't look at Abu Zubaydah's phone...it was right there.