What About Me?: Stop Selfishness from Ruining Your Relationship

by Jane Greer

"Am I with the most selfish person alive?"
"Am I being selfish when I do the things I want to do?"
"If you loved me, you would…"
The battle of what "I want" versus what "you want" is intense. Couples are in a constant tug of war, squabbling with each other with no regard for their partner's feelings, with great guilt over their own perceived selfishness, or feeling somewhere in between. And it's costing us our relationships.
What About Me? will guide readers through the new terrain of relationships in this era of entitlement, showing how selfishness plays a role and helping you better understand what being selfish really is. Learn

see beyond what you perceive as selfish requests―your partner's and your own
conquer the selfish hot spots that flare up in your relationship
understand all the differences, fears, and preferences that come between couples


Through anecdotes and quizzes, and drawing from Dr. Jane Greer's more than twenty years of experience in relationship counseling, What About Me? will teach readers what's reasonable to expect of themselves and their partners, equip them with the tools to move from "me" to "we," and get them back on track to happily ever after.
"Finally, a simply put yet deeply resonating guide to help us eliminate toxic messages that feed into our relationships! Keep What About Me? next to your bedside and get what you need, immediately!" ―Emme, supermodel
"What About Me? unabashedly digs deeply into the origins of conflict in relationships and paves the way for resolution, healing, and happiness. This is a book that will serve all of us well." ―David Perlmutter, MD, author of Power Up Your The Neuroscience of Enlightenment

Genres: Nonfiction, Relationships, Marriage, Psychology, Self Help

240 pages, Paperback

First published November 1, 2010

Reviews

[Brenda]

Excellent relationship book. I'm not normally into self-help type books but this one was great. I think it would be great for struggling couples but also good for solid relationships that could use a little tweaking. We can all stand to learn more about balancing each person's needs and desires in a relationship.

[Jonathan · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was garbage. The 210 pages were filled with anecdote after anecdote with barely anything actually useful to fix issues. If you're going to read it, I highly recommend you skip the first 120 pages of this 210page book. Part 2 had slightly more practical info that could mostly be consolidated into, listen objectively to your partner, because they too think they are right. Try to understand them and their needs. Go from there.

The actual practical information could fit into a buzz feed article. The rest was endless examples and nonsense.

[Harry Brar · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good book to help your relationship run smoothly.

[Bri · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great content—I highlighted a ton of it. She gave a lot of examples as well, many of which I found extremely relatable. The only reason I docked a star in my review is because she gives a “catchy” name to practically every behavior or situation under the sun. It was almost comical. Almost. So many self-help authors seem to create their own “brand” of terms and I get the strategy, but it’s just so incredibly cheesy. Just call it what it is, not “a Selfish Hot Spot,” “the Selfish Game,” “the Selfish Standoff,” “the No Fair Paper Cut,” “the I’ll See Your Stress and Raise You Paper Cut,” “Guilting In,” “SelfNess,” “playing the Ace of Hearts,” “the Over and Out Question,” “Love You, Mean It,” “Emotional Jeopardy”... And they get worse from there. I’m being serious when I say there must be 50 catchphrases like these. I finished the book because the content was good enough to look past those. Just go into this ready to cringe.

[Colleen Day · Rating 1 out of 5]

I agree with another commenter - way too many examples without any take-aways to apply to your own life. The whole book seemed to be leading to a "I will teach you how to deal with this in a later chapter." That chapter never seemed to arrive! Not worth your time

[Carla · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fairly quick read with some helpful tips. Relevant for anyone.

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read!

I really enjoyed this book and got several great nuggets of wisdom. I would highly recommend this book and will look for more from this author!

[Wendy · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the better marriage advice books. Lots of examples and engaging stories kept it from getting too dry or advice-y.