Before You Save the Date

by Paul Friesen

Author Dr. Paul Friesen poses 21 questions dealing with Convictions, Character, Compatibility, and Chemistry to help couples confirm their decision to move toward marriage. This practical, biblically–based book is easy to read, yet deep enough to be thought–provoking and useful in confirming one of life’s most critical decisions.

Genres: Marriage, Relationships

143 pages, Paperback

First published April 1, 2010

Reviews

[Kimi · Rating 5 out of 5]

absolutely great book. really sharp in it‘s message. good concept to find out in which state you’re with your spouse :-)

[Veronica Foley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this book is great! It helped us look at our relationship and ask tough questions that are necessary. Each chapter has a set of questions at the end that each of you are to answer about the relationship or about the other person. After the questions you were both to rate how confident you were on a scale of 1 to 10 based off of what had just been discussed. My fiancé and I read this together and I would recommend that be the way anyone else reads it. If something comes up while you are reading, you can discuss it immediately. In general I think relationship books are necessary and I would for sure recommend this to anyone who is dating or newly engaged.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

My older children are in the marrying stage of life, so I was interested in this book that my daughter who was first to marry said was helpful to her and her future husband. As the author suggests, this book is even better to first read early in a relationship or even before. Each question falls under the category of Convictions, Character, Compatibility or Commitment. There are a few pages of explanation, verses,and example. Then there questions to reflect on the relationship in that area. And then you are encouraged to discuss your partner and address any trouble areas. Some questions are more deal breakers like whether they share your Christian faith. Others are just things good to figure out ahead of time like how you approach different situations, family traditions, etc. The author asks a lot of good questions, with an eye toward realistically assessing whether this marriage is likely to be a successful Christian marriage.

A few minor quibbles with some of his opinions or expectations, but nothing too major. His opinion about marriages should be "explosively passionate" could have used a bit more temperate language and acknowledgment of things like health conditions that could hinder this. Also the language does encourage the potential for people to have unrealistic expectations. And passion doesn't always have be explosive but can be a slow-burning flame.

[Kara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Let me start by saying, this is not as cheesy and old-school as I thought it would be.

This guy I’m seeing said his parents (who were marriage counselors through their church for years) told all the kids in their family to read this book before they date anyone. I was curious to know what he was being forced to read so I bought it for myself. It ended up being some very practical advice, and I’m actually really excited to go through it a second time with him. There’s even a little note section at the end of each chapter for you to use as you evaluate your compatibility with your SO.

There are a few chapters I disagreed with (like the one on submitting to your husband), but I would HIGHLY recommend this to anyone and everyone.

[Peter Noland · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful book on marriage prep

[Emmmmm]

Practical, good things to think about/discuss. Doesn’t go as deep as other books, but still worth a read.

[Aleena Grosjean · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great questions and commentary after the questions. Highly recommend going through this when you are dating and definitely before marriage.