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Up From the Blue
Tillie Harris's life is in disarray—her husband is away on business, the boxes in her new home aren't unpacked, and the telephone isn't even connected yet. Though she's not due for another month, sudden labor pains force Tillie to reach out to her estranged father for help, a choice that means facing the painful memories she's been running from since she was a little girl.
An extraordinary debut from a talented new voice, Up from the Blue untangles the year in Tillie's life that changed 1975, the year her mother disappeared.
An extraordinary debut from a talented new voice, Up from the Blue untangles the year in Tillie's life that changed 1975, the year her mother disappeared.
336 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2010
84 people are currently reading
2311 people want to read
About the author
Susan Henderson
3 books290 followersSusan Henderson is a Hawthornden International Fellow, a five-time Pushcart Prize nominee, and the recipient of an Academy of American Poets Award. She is the author of the novels Up from the Blue and The Flicker of Old Dreams, both published by HarperCollins. Her latest is a Montana Book Award Honor Book and winner of the High Plains Book Award for Fiction, the WILLA Literary Award for Contemporary Fiction, and the Western Writers of America Spur Award for Western Contemporary Novel. Susan is a lifetime member of the National Book Critics Circle and the NAACP. She lives in New York and blogs at the writer support group, LitPark.com.
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June 27, 2010Deep appreciation for all of you who've read my book or sent me notes about it. I can't begin tell you what it means to me.
June 8, 2011
As much as I wanted to slow down and enjoy this book, I devoured it and will remember the characters therein for quite sometime as they're memorable, charming, flawed and quite real. You're able to see them and their flaws from so many different angles it's no wonder memories and actions differ from one character to the other. A book to be pondered upon. I originally gave this book four stars and changed it to five as it's been more than a week and I find myself still thinking about various aspects of this story. When a story stays with you, it deserves a five star rating.
July 19, 2016
Set in the 70s, during the era of bussing and all that entailed, UP FROM THE BLUE tells the story of family dysfunction stemming from a mother afflicted with severe manic depression. We start with the girl now grown up and about to have her own child, then we travel back in time to her as a child struggling to understand what is wrong with her mother. The story moves at a fast pace, with well timed twists and turns. Compelling but not disingenuous. It is real and raw.
To me, this is a story about fear, it’s path to prejudice, and how the transcendent power of love conquers it. The character with the courage to love unconditionally is Tillie, a very flawed 8 year old with a huge engine of inner rage rumbling inside her. Tillie’s mother is an embarrassment. She is sick, bizarrely different, and a potential threat to her husband who has a very political Pentagon job. Tillie is well aware of her mother’s issues, so much so, she keeps to herself, debates whether or not to invite friends over. But despite this awareness, Tillie allows herself to fall in love with her mother, because she allows herself to go beyond the sickness and see a unique take her mother brings to life. Tillie’s love is powerful and frustrating. It is the heartbeat of the novel. But it is not enough, because it cannot conquer everyone else’s fear which prevents the mother from seeking help.
The writer brilliantly chooses to tell this story against the backdrop of bussing, subtly comparing racial prejudice to prejudice towards the mentally ill. Stigmatism--which comes of course from the fear of the unknown-- has the same effect on the person of color stepping into a white school in the 70s, as it does on the mentally ill woman forced to live in a military world, where structure and conformity are demanded. As Bus 14 brings in the African Americans, everyone stands back and gawks, as if monsters from another planet have arrived. They are there, but they are not there, reminding us of Tillie’s mother--she is there, but she is not there. One African American girl is so frightened of being the only girl of color in her class, she is allowed time to herself in an office. Again reminding us of Tillie’s mother, so frightened of the world of sameness, she hides from everyone. And Tillie’s reach beyond the fear and prejudice to connect with the girl at school again reminds us of Tillie reach beyond fear and prejudice to see all the good in her mother.
This is a tragic story but it is not depressing, because it has grace and hope. If it were simply another book about family dysfunction, it wouldn’t have staying power. But it does have staying power because of what the story says beyond the words.
About her relationship with her mother, Tillie says once “It wasn’t perfect, but I never needed perfect.”
And that is just perfect.
To me, this is a story about fear, it’s path to prejudice, and how the transcendent power of love conquers it. The character with the courage to love unconditionally is Tillie, a very flawed 8 year old with a huge engine of inner rage rumbling inside her. Tillie’s mother is an embarrassment. She is sick, bizarrely different, and a potential threat to her husband who has a very political Pentagon job. Tillie is well aware of her mother’s issues, so much so, she keeps to herself, debates whether or not to invite friends over. But despite this awareness, Tillie allows herself to fall in love with her mother, because she allows herself to go beyond the sickness and see a unique take her mother brings to life. Tillie’s love is powerful and frustrating. It is the heartbeat of the novel. But it is not enough, because it cannot conquer everyone else’s fear which prevents the mother from seeking help.
The writer brilliantly chooses to tell this story against the backdrop of bussing, subtly comparing racial prejudice to prejudice towards the mentally ill. Stigmatism--which comes of course from the fear of the unknown-- has the same effect on the person of color stepping into a white school in the 70s, as it does on the mentally ill woman forced to live in a military world, where structure and conformity are demanded. As Bus 14 brings in the African Americans, everyone stands back and gawks, as if monsters from another planet have arrived. They are there, but they are not there, reminding us of Tillie’s mother--she is there, but she is not there. One African American girl is so frightened of being the only girl of color in her class, she is allowed time to herself in an office. Again reminding us of Tillie’s mother, so frightened of the world of sameness, she hides from everyone. And Tillie’s reach beyond the fear and prejudice to connect with the girl at school again reminds us of Tillie reach beyond fear and prejudice to see all the good in her mother.
This is a tragic story but it is not depressing, because it has grace and hope. If it were simply another book about family dysfunction, it wouldn’t have staying power. But it does have staying power because of what the story says beyond the words.
About her relationship with her mother, Tillie says once “It wasn’t perfect, but I never needed perfect.”
And that is just perfect.
April 1, 2021
This story will stay with me for a long time and be extremely hard to describe without spoilers, but here goes: The novel starts with Tillie, pregnant with her first child and alone because her husband has traveled out of the country for a job, going into labor. To complicate matters even more, she has recently moved back to the Washington DC area and hasn't even unpacked enough to find her phone. Using the neighbors phone, she calls the only number she knows, her father who she has avoided contact with so much he isn't even aware she is married, pregnant and living in the same city. Tillie avoids her father because "when I'm around him, I am eight again, trapped in that year that scarred us all."
The majority of the book goes on to tell the story of Tillie, her older brother Phil and her parents, Mara and the Colonel who are having marital problems. The Colonel is rigid and demanding while Mara is a free spirit. The story is told from Tillie's perspective but it is clear that her mother has mental health issues. This was a powerful, haunting story.
The majority of the book goes on to tell the story of Tillie, her older brother Phil and her parents, Mara and the Colonel who are having marital problems. The Colonel is rigid and demanding while Mara is a free spirit. The story is told from Tillie's perspective but it is clear that her mother has mental health issues. This was a powerful, haunting story.
July 25, 2012
If you are a parent, a child with a parent suffering from depression, or a parent going through depression yourself, this is a MUST READ. I was immediately gripped during the beginning chapters where Tillie begins labor. Because I've been there, I could instantly connect with her, but anyone who hasn't given birth would feel the frantic feelings described in the beginning.
And then it takes you back to Tillie's childhood. You get to see the inner workings of a troubled military family. Phil, the older son who does no wrong because he wants to be the best soldier he can be. Colonel Harris- a high ranking military official who runs a strict household. Mara, the mother, who is so obviously depressed and on the brink of implosion, incapable of mothering the two children and the subject of whispers amongst the perfect military wives/mothers. And then Tillie- an unruly yet lovable, eight year old girl. Tillie adores her mother, she can see the good in her unlike everyone else and defends her mom. She senses she's likely a disappointment to her father and her brother can't be bothered with her. Yet she feels like her mother is hers alone and you can really relate to her feelings for her mom. Because as children- we've all been there. No matter what a mothers (or fathers) faults are it doesn't matter because you are in love with them. They are perfect to you if to nobody else.
The greatness of this story as that even though it's a novel you feel like it's real. You are hoping that the mother can just pull herself together and be the mom she wanted to be. You are hoping that the father could just see that there is something medically wrong with her and that it isn't her fault, she truly isn't capable of pulling it together on her own. And then you feel this immense sadness for the children who don't understand and you just want to assure them that no matter what- their parents love them.
Now, you know I always try to read a story and bring some of my own life experience to it and this one was no different. For years, since Olivia was born, I have struggled with depression. I have felt so awful that I thought I'd be better off dying, and I thought everyone else would be better without me. I've been so happy that I look at those times and wonder what the hell was I thinking. But most days? I'm not in the middle. I'm sad a lot and sometimes when driving alone I wonder what it would be like to just keep driving and never come back. To just start up new somewhere..anywhere..because I can't bear the feeling that I am a terrible mother, a terrible wife, a terrible friend, a terrible daughter, etc. I may not be any of these things but a lot of days I feel this way. And while I can take all the medication I want I know that's the only thing keeping me from dangling too far down. So I could sympathize with Mara through the whole book. She wants to be everything to everyone, she wants to be a good wife and mother but she just isn't able. But she loves her children anyways. And every attempt she makes to do better it was always for them. So no lie, I cried when reading this and found myself nodding and saying, "Yes-- that's really how it is!" There is a part in the book where Mara tells Tillie, "I'm trying. I'm trying for you, ok?" and that? Just made me so sad because I remember saying this to Olivia when she was just a week old. I was alone at home with her, and she never stopped crying. I would rock, crying myself, and tell her I was trying, just for her.
I highly recommend this book. The end for Mara? Made me so sad and I felt awful for everyone. But the end of the book for Tillie? Gave me hope. Because she was a mom and it made me think that maybe, even though it was all awful, it really had a happy ending.
And then it takes you back to Tillie's childhood. You get to see the inner workings of a troubled military family. Phil, the older son who does no wrong because he wants to be the best soldier he can be. Colonel Harris- a high ranking military official who runs a strict household. Mara, the mother, who is so obviously depressed and on the brink of implosion, incapable of mothering the two children and the subject of whispers amongst the perfect military wives/mothers. And then Tillie- an unruly yet lovable, eight year old girl. Tillie adores her mother, she can see the good in her unlike everyone else and defends her mom. She senses she's likely a disappointment to her father and her brother can't be bothered with her. Yet she feels like her mother is hers alone and you can really relate to her feelings for her mom. Because as children- we've all been there. No matter what a mothers (or fathers) faults are it doesn't matter because you are in love with them. They are perfect to you if to nobody else.
The greatness of this story as that even though it's a novel you feel like it's real. You are hoping that the mother can just pull herself together and be the mom she wanted to be. You are hoping that the father could just see that there is something medically wrong with her and that it isn't her fault, she truly isn't capable of pulling it together on her own. And then you feel this immense sadness for the children who don't understand and you just want to assure them that no matter what- their parents love them.
Now, you know I always try to read a story and bring some of my own life experience to it and this one was no different. For years, since Olivia was born, I have struggled with depression. I have felt so awful that I thought I'd be better off dying, and I thought everyone else would be better without me. I've been so happy that I look at those times and wonder what the hell was I thinking. But most days? I'm not in the middle. I'm sad a lot and sometimes when driving alone I wonder what it would be like to just keep driving and never come back. To just start up new somewhere..anywhere..because I can't bear the feeling that I am a terrible mother, a terrible wife, a terrible friend, a terrible daughter, etc. I may not be any of these things but a lot of days I feel this way. And while I can take all the medication I want I know that's the only thing keeping me from dangling too far down. So I could sympathize with Mara through the whole book. She wants to be everything to everyone, she wants to be a good wife and mother but she just isn't able. But she loves her children anyways. And every attempt she makes to do better it was always for them. So no lie, I cried when reading this and found myself nodding and saying, "Yes-- that's really how it is!" There is a part in the book where Mara tells Tillie, "I'm trying. I'm trying for you, ok?" and that? Just made me so sad because I remember saying this to Olivia when she was just a week old. I was alone at home with her, and she never stopped crying. I would rock, crying myself, and tell her I was trying, just for her.
I highly recommend this book. The end for Mara? Made me so sad and I felt awful for everyone. But the end of the book for Tillie? Gave me hope. Because she was a mom and it made me think that maybe, even though it was all awful, it really had a happy ending.
December 11, 2023
Up From the Blue by Susan Henderson is a story of a very dysfunctional family starting at the age of 8 for Tillie. Her mother disappears, her father moves Tillie and her brother to a new city. Her brother a 12 yo boy with deep anger already. Tillie has difficulty making friends and growing up. She doesn’t understand why her mother as quirky and eccentric as she is just left her. Until one day Tillie finds her. Dual time line. 1979s and present day.
April 22, 2021
Really one of those "if only Goodreads had a 2.5 button!" situations, so rounded up to three stars.
Writing itself was fine, no issue there. Secondary characters were well done, especially Tillie's brother, and her friend Sheryl; the latter covered race as a topic well. Found myself agreeing with Tillie that her father's assistant, Anne, was trying to ingratiate her way into the family.
What turned me off was her father... who, unfortunately, reminded me a lot of the mother in the story Ordinary People (played by Mary Tyler Moore); perhaps I'm applying a "modern" perspective here, but her dysfunctional parents' relationship struck me as unduly creepy. I liked Tillie herself as a girl, but the occasional inserts of her as an adult were a turnoff for me; a simple epilogue would've worked much better.
Some folks might like this one as a library book, but I can't recommend paying for a copy I'm afraid.
Writing itself was fine, no issue there. Secondary characters were well done, especially Tillie's brother, and her friend Sheryl; the latter covered race as a topic well. Found myself agreeing with Tillie that her father's assistant, Anne, was trying to ingratiate her way into the family.
What turned me off was her father... who, unfortunately, reminded me a lot of the mother in the story Ordinary People (played by Mary Tyler Moore); perhaps I'm applying a "modern" perspective here, but her dysfunctional parents' relationship struck me as unduly creepy. I liked Tillie herself as a girl, but the occasional inserts of her as an adult were a turnoff for me; a simple epilogue would've worked much better.
Some folks might like this one as a library book, but I can't recommend paying for a copy I'm afraid.
March 30, 2015
I'm so sorry but i absolutely HATED the main character, Tilly.
And I think the father managed the situation not in a perfect way, but tried his best, considering when the story took place. I don't think Tilly had any right to hate him as much as she did.
And I think the father managed the situation not in a perfect way, but tried his best, considering when the story took place. I don't think Tilly had any right to hate him as much as she did.
September 27, 2010
In a literary era when plot is often been abandoned Henderson really delivers some startling surprises in her first novel. It’s well written and engaging especially the main character Tillie. Just when you think you know exactly what is happening you’ll turn a corner and wonder what’s real. The book is set mostly in the 70’s as Tillie and her brother Phil, both pre-teens; grow up with their rigid, military dad and their dreamy, literary mom. There are a lot of social changes in the air such as school busing which enables Tillie to get to know Shirl and a different way of life. There is a hint of gothic to the book which provides another dimension. There is also some gallows like humor. I enjoyed it tremendously.
March 21, 2018
I selected this book to read because:
1) it’s the first novel by Susan Henderson
2) I enjoyed my recent read “The Flicker of Old Dreams” by same author (2nd novel)
Not that far into it, I realized I had read this book years ago, but could not remember everything, so I kept on reading.
This one is not quite as good as Henderson’s second novel, however, it takes us into some uncomfortable territory. It’s told in two segments, one now and one then. In the now, Tillie, now an adult, married and hugely pregnant in a new home, her husband away, calls her estranged Father for help, the first time...in years. She’s having contractions and it’s too early for them to be happening and she’s panicking.
The second segment kicks in with her remembrance of the early and middle dysfunctional family years.
Tillie: is a precocious, energetic, creative young girl who absolutely adores her Mother.
The Mother: a young wife to Roy, Momma to Tillie and her older brother Phil. It is obvious she is suffering from some kind of mental illness. She is unable to function day to day, is confused, can’t take care of the family, especially the kids who run amok in the neighborhood and eat whatever they can scrounge around. At times, this behavior is absolutely debilitating, forcing her to lock herself away and withdraw from everyone in her bedroom. Other times, she is able to come out somewhat normally and just for a short time before she exhausts herself and gives up and withdraws again. Sometimes Tillie is in her pajamas all day or does not go to school because there is no adult around to guide her through her daily routine/activities. Momma is sloppy, helpless, emotional, exhausted. There is just so much that is wrong.
The Father: Roy Harris, a brilliant military man working in Washington for the government. He designs guided missiles, is highly regarded and respected, and has won awards for his work.
He’s away at work a lot, thinking the family is thriving and going about their normal days while he’s working on military projects. He is angered and frustrated coming home to find nosy neighbors gathered around and the house in disarray, his wife hidden away in the dark bedroom, lethargic in bed. Tillie and Phil, not being fed, taken care of, trash all over the place, no clean clothes, etc. He is very stoic as he takes charge, goes to the store for good, cooks meals, does laundry, scrubs the whole house down, gets rid of all the trash. Every time he comes home, it’s always like this or worse. It’s quite obvious his wife needs professional / mental help (and so does the rest of the family for the overall dysfunction, if you ask me). The mother is taken to doctors for testing and physically “everything is fine.” I don’t think they even investigated into the mental portion. That makes Roy even more enraged telling her to “get it together there’s nothing wrong with you, you’re fine” and plenty more of arguing (from him) and withdrawing (from her). Note: he’s brilliant in his work, but not able to figure out how to get the right help for his wife. And she, and the family that are in constant disarray, is causing time and concentration away from his work.
*****************************************
The arguing:
“Enough of this! You don’t have cancer!”
“Stand up and pull yourself together!”
“What’s wrong with you?”
“Do you know what I like about my job?” he shouted “When I work hard, I actually see progress!”
“We needed you. I don’t understand why being with us takes so much out of you!”
“I can’t be the only one trying. That’s not going to work anymore. You have to want to be here.”
******************************************
An work opportunity presents itself for them to move and they move into their new house, new location. But where is Mother?
Father really does not answer Tillie’s questions and she wants to know where Mother is!! Phil has an attitude that it’s nice and quiet without Mother, no arguing or dealing with her inconsistent behavior; life is all right again with Dad taking care of them. The reader is led to believe that the Mother has been put into an institution. But where? How? When?
We read about the trials and tribulations mostly of Tillie, but also of Phil. Personally, socially and in school. How could the loss of a parent just be coldly swept under the rug? Tillie imagines her Mother ALL the time; she is the one who had the closest connection with her, it seems. She misses her - always.
Life goes on, bumpity bump, the elephant in the room still exists - “where is Momma?” And then...told not to go down into the basement of the new house, Tillie does anyway. I mentioned she was precocious and creative, right?
There’s a door and there’s another smaller door. Oh my.
Tillie: “What I understood more than anything was that Dad did not take her from us. Momma was the one who wanted to flee. It was being our Mother that made her so tired, that made her unable to reach her dreams.”
The story ends in the Now: Tillie is in the hospital giving birth to her daughter; her estranged Father there at her side, reflecting memories of her Mother, her childhood, and family.
1) it’s the first novel by Susan Henderson
2) I enjoyed my recent read “The Flicker of Old Dreams” by same author (2nd novel)
Not that far into it, I realized I had read this book years ago, but could not remember everything, so I kept on reading.
This one is not quite as good as Henderson’s second novel, however, it takes us into some uncomfortable territory. It’s told in two segments, one now and one then. In the now, Tillie, now an adult, married and hugely pregnant in a new home, her husband away, calls her estranged Father for help, the first time...in years. She’s having contractions and it’s too early for them to be happening and she’s panicking.
The second segment kicks in with her remembrance of the early and middle dysfunctional family years.
Tillie: is a precocious, energetic, creative young girl who absolutely adores her Mother.
The Mother: a young wife to Roy, Momma to Tillie and her older brother Phil. It is obvious she is suffering from some kind of mental illness. She is unable to function day to day, is confused, can’t take care of the family, especially the kids who run amok in the neighborhood and eat whatever they can scrounge around. At times, this behavior is absolutely debilitating, forcing her to lock herself away and withdraw from everyone in her bedroom. Other times, she is able to come out somewhat normally and just for a short time before she exhausts herself and gives up and withdraws again. Sometimes Tillie is in her pajamas all day or does not go to school because there is no adult around to guide her through her daily routine/activities. Momma is sloppy, helpless, emotional, exhausted. There is just so much that is wrong.
The Father: Roy Harris, a brilliant military man working in Washington for the government. He designs guided missiles, is highly regarded and respected, and has won awards for his work.
He’s away at work a lot, thinking the family is thriving and going about their normal days while he’s working on military projects. He is angered and frustrated coming home to find nosy neighbors gathered around and the house in disarray, his wife hidden away in the dark bedroom, lethargic in bed. Tillie and Phil, not being fed, taken care of, trash all over the place, no clean clothes, etc. He is very stoic as he takes charge, goes to the store for good, cooks meals, does laundry, scrubs the whole house down, gets rid of all the trash. Every time he comes home, it’s always like this or worse. It’s quite obvious his wife needs professional / mental help (and so does the rest of the family for the overall dysfunction, if you ask me). The mother is taken to doctors for testing and physically “everything is fine.” I don’t think they even investigated into the mental portion. That makes Roy even more enraged telling her to “get it together there’s nothing wrong with you, you’re fine” and plenty more of arguing (from him) and withdrawing (from her). Note: he’s brilliant in his work, but not able to figure out how to get the right help for his wife. And she, and the family that are in constant disarray, is causing time and concentration away from his work.
*****************************************
The arguing:
“Enough of this! You don’t have cancer!”
“Stand up and pull yourself together!”
“What’s wrong with you?”
“Do you know what I like about my job?” he shouted “When I work hard, I actually see progress!”
“We needed you. I don’t understand why being with us takes so much out of you!”
“I can’t be the only one trying. That’s not going to work anymore. You have to want to be here.”
******************************************
An work opportunity presents itself for them to move and they move into their new house, new location. But where is Mother?
Father really does not answer Tillie’s questions and she wants to know where Mother is!! Phil has an attitude that it’s nice and quiet without Mother, no arguing or dealing with her inconsistent behavior; life is all right again with Dad taking care of them. The reader is led to believe that the Mother has been put into an institution. But where? How? When?
We read about the trials and tribulations mostly of Tillie, but also of Phil. Personally, socially and in school. How could the loss of a parent just be coldly swept under the rug? Tillie imagines her Mother ALL the time; she is the one who had the closest connection with her, it seems. She misses her - always.
Life goes on, bumpity bump, the elephant in the room still exists - “where is Momma?” And then...told not to go down into the basement of the new house, Tillie does anyway. I mentioned she was precocious and creative, right?
There’s a door and there’s another smaller door. Oh my.
Tillie: “What I understood more than anything was that Dad did not take her from us. Momma was the one who wanted to flee. It was being our Mother that made her so tired, that made her unable to reach her dreams.”
The story ends in the Now: Tillie is in the hospital giving birth to her daughter; her estranged Father there at her side, reflecting memories of her Mother, her childhood, and family.
March 5, 2011
Up From the Blue is a first novel by Susan Henderson, a New York writer with a couple of Pushcart Prize nominations to her credit. It came out last September (HarperCollins $15.99) but I only discovered it last week, thanks to a review in Shelf Awareness, my favorite e-newsletter about the book trade. The fact that I read it in just two days has more to do with how good a book it is, than my deadline for this column. The ending brought me to tears, and an urge to call up the author to find out if this novel was indeed her story. But I get ahead of myself.
Tillie Harris is eight years old and her mother is becoming unglued. Her family lives on an Air Force base in Albuquerque but her dad’s work on missile guidance systems means that they will move soon to Washington, DC. It is 1975. (Actually the novel opens with Tillie rushing to the hospital with premature labor symptoms. Her husband is in Paris and her estranged father is the only relative she can call. But it is her childhood memories that take over the narrative.) Momma is a misfit among the military wives: she paints her front door purple and ignores the social protocols of military life. She has stopped making meals or doing the wash. Mostly she sleeps on the couch, barely rousing herself to tuck in to bed Tillie and her older brother Phil.
When moving day comes, Tillie is left behind for two weeks with her father’s prissy secretary. And when she finally gets to fly to Washington her mother is nowhere to be found. To Tillie’s frantic pleas, her father will only say that Momma needs time to rest away from them. School starts and of course Tillie is an outsider. Her poetry gains the respect of her teacher but no one will play with her.
This book reminded me of The Glass Castle, Jeanette Wall’s bestselling memoir of a childhood emotionally impoverished by an uncaring mother. Jane Urquhart’s novel The Stone Carvers also contains a scene of a child who was chained to a clothesline, a scene that some reviewers found far-fetched. I remember that when she read from it for OBOC in Cambridge, an elderly woman defended the veracity of the passage. She too had been chained in her room every day.
Up From the Blue is a testimony to a child’s will to survive; and a plea for recognition of the family trauma around mental illness. I read it with tension in my chest – will Tillie, and her mother, survive?
In that Shelf Awareness review, the author spoke of the response to her book. If there's a defining characteristic for Tillie, the narrator, it "is that she's wonderfully obstinate," Henderson observes. "She has an oomph--that thing that also makes her a handful--but I think it gives her courage, and she's determined to find humor and love and hope wherever she can. I wanted to use those strengths as I pulled that knot loose so that she wasn't stuck in time, and so she had a full range of choices for her future--not sugar-coated, but still hopeful." At bookstore events, when Susan reads a passage about Tillie's habit of biting classmates, she often notices a particular expression on the face of someone who "knows what it's like to walk home from school as the one who's seen as the problem. And they know what it's like to enter a house full of secrets and try to make sense of it without ever breathing a word."
In the throes of delivering her first child, Tillie speaks across the years to her mother: “It wasn’t perfect, but I never needed perfect.” I hope that Up From the Blue reaches as wide an audience (including book clubs) as The Glass Castle and The Stone Carvers.
Tillie Harris is eight years old and her mother is becoming unglued. Her family lives on an Air Force base in Albuquerque but her dad’s work on missile guidance systems means that they will move soon to Washington, DC. It is 1975. (Actually the novel opens with Tillie rushing to the hospital with premature labor symptoms. Her husband is in Paris and her estranged father is the only relative she can call. But it is her childhood memories that take over the narrative.) Momma is a misfit among the military wives: she paints her front door purple and ignores the social protocols of military life. She has stopped making meals or doing the wash. Mostly she sleeps on the couch, barely rousing herself to tuck in to bed Tillie and her older brother Phil.
When moving day comes, Tillie is left behind for two weeks with her father’s prissy secretary. And when she finally gets to fly to Washington her mother is nowhere to be found. To Tillie’s frantic pleas, her father will only say that Momma needs time to rest away from them. School starts and of course Tillie is an outsider. Her poetry gains the respect of her teacher but no one will play with her.
This book reminded me of The Glass Castle, Jeanette Wall’s bestselling memoir of a childhood emotionally impoverished by an uncaring mother. Jane Urquhart’s novel The Stone Carvers also contains a scene of a child who was chained to a clothesline, a scene that some reviewers found far-fetched. I remember that when she read from it for OBOC in Cambridge, an elderly woman defended the veracity of the passage. She too had been chained in her room every day.
Up From the Blue is a testimony to a child’s will to survive; and a plea for recognition of the family trauma around mental illness. I read it with tension in my chest – will Tillie, and her mother, survive?
In that Shelf Awareness review, the author spoke of the response to her book. If there's a defining characteristic for Tillie, the narrator, it "is that she's wonderfully obstinate," Henderson observes. "She has an oomph--that thing that also makes her a handful--but I think it gives her courage, and she's determined to find humor and love and hope wherever she can. I wanted to use those strengths as I pulled that knot loose so that she wasn't stuck in time, and so she had a full range of choices for her future--not sugar-coated, but still hopeful." At bookstore events, when Susan reads a passage about Tillie's habit of biting classmates, she often notices a particular expression on the face of someone who "knows what it's like to walk home from school as the one who's seen as the problem. And they know what it's like to enter a house full of secrets and try to make sense of it without ever breathing a word."
In the throes of delivering her first child, Tillie speaks across the years to her mother: “It wasn’t perfect, but I never needed perfect.” I hope that Up From the Blue reaches as wide an audience (including book clubs) as The Glass Castle and The Stone Carvers.
February 6, 2011
This is an exquisitely presented study of a very broken family, who are quite literally hiding their secrets behind closed doors. It is about children who are old enough to carry the shame, but who require the sanctity of their parents love regardless. It is about the slow breakdown of a woman, a marriage, and a family. This is beautifully written, and brilliantly constructed. Told from the perspective of Tilly, the seven year old daughter, Up From the Blue surprises thoughout - by showing sides of stories that you didn't expect. Changing my opinion of characters, and their motivations, and ensuring I never got too sure of myself in my judgement of the characters. This fabulous first novel succeeded in breaking my heart slowly, piece by piece. There are lines in this novel that will stay with me forever. A story about the unconditional love of children, and the damage that parents can inflict. And most poignant of all, the understanding that parents don't have to be perfect, just present! Susan Henderson will certainly be on the top of my wish list for future novels - can't wait for more!
September 11, 2011
I hate to give this book one star. It probably does deserve more, as the writing is good. But according to Goodreads' rating system, I have to give it only one star. I just didn't like it. I read through it quickly, and I liked Tillie's character as a child. But overall, the parents' characters really frustrated me, and the father's handling of the situation while at times compassionate, was just unrealistic and too unbelievable for me. While I appreciate the author's retelling through Tillie and her treatment of the subject matter, it was just repetitive and too frustrating and unrealistic for me in the end.
June 28, 2011
Another disappointing dysfunctional family. Crazy mom, strict military father, a brother who doesn't give a shit, and a little girl trying to make sense of it all. Only thing is I could never feel too sorry for the girl. The author attempted to make her out to be such a victim that I sided with the strict military father and wanted her to snap out of it. Life's a bitch, hysterics are unwelcome. I also don't appreciate the 8 year old who can't remember going to school, and is praised for ruining the school play.
Several plot lines started and then nothing. What was up with Anne? Was the father having an affair with her?
Crappy book, don't bother with it.
Several plot lines started and then nothing. What was up with Anne? Was the father having an affair with her?
Crappy book, don't bother with it.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 11, 2019
Haunting and powerful. Just like the first book I read of Henderson’s, the main character is so deeply developed you feel like you could reach out and touch them. I was completely engaged throughout - only took me about 24 hours to read it. If you’re looking to meet a new favorite character that makes your face smile and your heart ache, I definitely recommend getting to know Tillie.
February 1, 2018
Tillie is an unruly 8-year-old whose father is an Air Force colonel developing top-secret missile systems, while her mother is depressed and completely unable to function. Tillie's brother Phil is the type of kid who responds to stress by being as perfect as he possibly can, while Tillie instead acts out to achieve any kind of attention she can, even if it's negative.
I think it's easy for modern readers to be frustrated that Tillie's father never sought any kind of medical help for his wife. But it was a different time regarding mental illness. I'm sure she would have either been institutionalized or doped up so highly on Valium that she wouldn't have been of any use to her family anyhow. Also back then any kind of mental illness would have reflected badly on Colonel Harris and could have stunted his career; the military hasn't had a very good track record regarding mental health, and it definitely didn't in the 1970s. Colonel Harris probably felt he was in a no-win situation; he either sought help for his wife, which had no guarantee of helping her be better anyhow, thereby putting his career in jeopardy, or he did the best he could with the tools that he had, and maintained his career, which supported his family.
The one thing that bothered me about this story was how erratic Tillie was even as an adult. I do understand she was scared to give birth so prematurely and without her husband around, but her self-described behavior makes me hope that she found some help either with a counselor or in some kind of medication.
This is not a very easy book to read, but it is a pretty raw and unflinching look on how mental illness can affect an entire family.
I think it's easy for modern readers to be frustrated that Tillie's father never sought any kind of medical help for his wife. But it was a different time regarding mental illness. I'm sure she would have either been institutionalized or doped up so highly on Valium that she wouldn't have been of any use to her family anyhow. Also back then any kind of mental illness would have reflected badly on Colonel Harris and could have stunted his career; the military hasn't had a very good track record regarding mental health, and it definitely didn't in the 1970s. Colonel Harris probably felt he was in a no-win situation; he either sought help for his wife, which had no guarantee of helping her be better anyhow, thereby putting his career in jeopardy, or he did the best he could with the tools that he had, and maintained his career, which supported his family.
The one thing that bothered me about this story was how erratic Tillie was even as an adult. I do understand she was scared to give birth so prematurely and without her husband around, but her self-described behavior makes me hope that she found some help either with a counselor or in some kind of medication.
This is not a very easy book to read, but it is a pretty raw and unflinching look on how mental illness can affect an entire family.
January 3, 2016
4.5 stars. This book starts off in the present (or 1991). We meet Tillie as she's unpacking her and her husbands new house. But oh shit, she goes into labor- 6 wks early! SHe's not ready and her husband is away on business. She stumbles to her neighbors and calls the only number she can remember- since everything is packed away- her father's.
But she's not cool with her dad.
And with many chapters to follow we find out why.
The bulk of the story takes place when Tillie is 8. She lives with her mother and father and brother but something's off with her mom. She's a little disturbed, maybe tired but definitely not clearheaded enough to raise children.
Her dad is a missile designer for the government. He's aware of his wife's issues and does what he can to keep it together but isn't what you would call an open person. Everything is hush hush.
Eventually they move and he leaves Tillie with his secretary while he and Tillies mom and brother drive the long distance to his new job.
when Tillie is eventually reunited with her parents she finds her mom is missing.
it's a mystery.
We then see more of the birth of the baby and then more about what happens when Tillie finds her mom.
I liked the story, i love books that feature a child with family problems. (coming from a family with problems) but there was something missing to make it a *must read. It was good enough but I think it should have had a better ending. Something left me wanting but it only costed a .5 star.
But she's not cool with her dad.
And with many chapters to follow we find out why.
The bulk of the story takes place when Tillie is 8. She lives with her mother and father and brother but something's off with her mom. She's a little disturbed, maybe tired but definitely not clearheaded enough to raise children.
Her dad is a missile designer for the government. He's aware of his wife's issues and does what he can to keep it together but isn't what you would call an open person. Everything is hush hush.
Eventually they move and he leaves Tillie with his secretary while he and Tillies mom and brother drive the long distance to his new job.
when Tillie is eventually reunited with her parents she finds her mom is missing.
it's a mystery.
We then see more of the birth of the baby and then more about what happens when Tillie finds her mom.
I liked the story, i love books that feature a child with family problems. (coming from a family with problems) but there was something missing to make it a *must read. It was good enough but I think it should have had a better ending. Something left me wanting but it only costed a .5 star.
December 7, 2010
This is a difficult book for me to review. It's not that it was bad. It was actually very well-written, and it held my interest. But, it's a very difficult subject. It's like when you're driving and you notice emergency vehicles. You know there's a bad wreck that you don't want to see, but you just can't stop looking. This book you just know as you read more and more that you don't really want to read the depressing narrative from Tillie's childhood. But, you've invested time into this book, and there is the matter of the adult Tillie going into premature labor. Plus, you want to see if you're right when you think you know where the story of her mother is going. (And, yes, I was right.)
Prepare to be disturbed - if not depressed - by this story. It's sobering and doesn't have much happiness mixed in. Its sole redeeming quality is the adult Tillie birthing her baby and the small tidbits we get regarding life with the baby.
Prepare to be disturbed - if not depressed - by this story. It's sobering and doesn't have much happiness mixed in. Its sole redeeming quality is the adult Tillie birthing her baby and the small tidbits we get regarding life with the baby.
February 6, 2017
The book opens with the protagonist going into premature labor. She reluctantly calls her estranged father because she had no one else to call. Then we learn about her circa 1970s childhood; demanding controlling father and mentally ill mother. The book held my interest but I did not like how it dealt with mental illness.
The father does not seek treatment for his depressed wife for fear of hurting his career. Suicide seems to be the only option the mother has left and the children become more damaged as each day passes. In my head I kept saying "Take her to a hospital now". I am unsure exactly what point the book was trying to make.
The father does not seek treatment for his depressed wife for fear of hurting his career. Suicide seems to be the only option the mother has left and the children become more damaged as each day passes. In my head I kept saying "Take her to a hospital now". I am unsure exactly what point the book was trying to make.
January 30, 2018
I read Up From the Blue with a lump in my throat and a highlighter in my hand. The story, narrated by Tillie Harris, the daughter of an Air Force Officer, moves back and forth in time between 1975 and 1991. We mostly meet the family members through the viewpoint of eight-year-old Tillie, who’s trying to puzzle together the missing pieces in a military family where things are not what they seem.
At times I thought I would go mad as my emotions swung wildly back and forth with everything that was happening with this family. I felt the rage, the loneliness, the questions, the silence, the grief, the unknown… I rooted for Tillie and her big brother Phil, and I questioned their dad, the colonel, a responsible authority figure who tries to bring order to chaos. And always, there’s the question, the driving force of the novel…what is going on with Tillie’s mother, Mara, a bohemian type who doesn’t fit the mold of the typical officer’s wife. As a former officer’s wife, I found myself rooting for Mara early on in the story, before I knew more. Just when we think we have things figured out, along comes another surprise.
Throughout the narrative, I tried to put myself into the shoes of each of the characters. Although he was a secondary character, Mr. Woodson, Tillie’s teacher, proved to be one of my favorites. I looked forward to going to school with Tillie just so I could be in Mr. Woodson’s circle of light. Up From the Blue is one of those stories that will seep into your soul…even when you try to resist it.
Susan Henderson is a brilliant storyteller and I look forward to her latest novel, The Flicker of Old Dreams.
Kathleen M. Rodgers ~ Novelist
At times I thought I would go mad as my emotions swung wildly back and forth with everything that was happening with this family. I felt the rage, the loneliness, the questions, the silence, the grief, the unknown… I rooted for Tillie and her big brother Phil, and I questioned their dad, the colonel, a responsible authority figure who tries to bring order to chaos. And always, there’s the question, the driving force of the novel…what is going on with Tillie’s mother, Mara, a bohemian type who doesn’t fit the mold of the typical officer’s wife. As a former officer’s wife, I found myself rooting for Mara early on in the story, before I knew more. Just when we think we have things figured out, along comes another surprise.
Throughout the narrative, I tried to put myself into the shoes of each of the characters. Although he was a secondary character, Mr. Woodson, Tillie’s teacher, proved to be one of my favorites. I looked forward to going to school with Tillie just so I could be in Mr. Woodson’s circle of light. Up From the Blue is one of those stories that will seep into your soul…even when you try to resist it.
Susan Henderson is a brilliant storyteller and I look forward to her latest novel, The Flicker of Old Dreams.
Kathleen M. Rodgers ~ Novelist
Read
March 20, 2019had to do a speed read through what I consider drivel
tried it after good reviews on this author, so Kathy: Please read this before you try another...you won't like it
tried it after good reviews on this author, so Kathy: Please read this before you try another...you won't like it
August 16, 2020
Disturbing subject matter, especially for anyone who has experienced mental illness in a close family member. The writing is gorgeous and I couldn't put the book down.
September 3, 2010
Don't read too many detailed reviews of this book until you have read the book. You don't want anything to spoil it for you.
Reading this book was like devouring a wonderfully rich dessert. I wanted to slowly savor every bite, rolling it around on my tongue, but I could not slow down, I had to rush forward until the whole thing was consumed. The prose is flawless and rich; the characters true to life, and I could picture the house and the family perfectly.
As Henderson described the life inside the military family of the 1970's I felt sure she must have been looking in the picture windows of the 1950's houses in my neighborhood of military families. She saw the strict father who must be saluted; the son who sits up very straight and says "yes sir". And there was the mother who gave up her dreams to follow her soldier husband around the country so he could advance in rank. Lastly, there was the little girl, confused and lonely, who had to learn to keep her emotions in little boxes on the shelf. And behind those tightly curtained windows, no one was allowed to know what went on there.
I wish Susan Henderson great success with this book, it is an absolute prize of a novel.
Reading this book was like devouring a wonderfully rich dessert. I wanted to slowly savor every bite, rolling it around on my tongue, but I could not slow down, I had to rush forward until the whole thing was consumed. The prose is flawless and rich; the characters true to life, and I could picture the house and the family perfectly.
As Henderson described the life inside the military family of the 1970's I felt sure she must have been looking in the picture windows of the 1950's houses in my neighborhood of military families. She saw the strict father who must be saluted; the son who sits up very straight and says "yes sir". And there was the mother who gave up her dreams to follow her soldier husband around the country so he could advance in rank. Lastly, there was the little girl, confused and lonely, who had to learn to keep her emotions in little boxes on the shelf. And behind those tightly curtained windows, no one was allowed to know what went on there.
I wish Susan Henderson great success with this book, it is an absolute prize of a novel.
September 2, 2015
Tillie is a bright, young, free spirit who loves her mother more than anything. She sees her mother's mood swings as exciting and admires the way she can see beauty in ordinary things. Through Tillie's description we learn that her mother has some sort of mental illness which seems to rapidly get worse as the book goes on. Understandably, Tillie has to face some tough circumstances and her whole world is engulfed in the sickness that has plagued her mother. [return][return]Tillie's brother is a quiet, well behaved boy. He relates to his father and is seemingly unaffected by his mother's behavior while continually trying to find his place within the family. [return][return]Meanwhile Tillie's father is a high ranking military officer whose work is important to him. He doesn't know how to handle his wife's illness and manages to do more harm than good when trying to take care of his family's emotional needs.[return][return]The story begins with Tillie as an adult about to give birth to her first child, the middle is her childhood flashback and then it ends as we meet her baby. Her life comes full circle and I was happy to have learned the story.
August 17, 2012
This is a sobering look into a family ravaged by the far-reaching effects of mental illness. It is narrated by eight-year old Tillie, with glimpses into an adult Tillie's world. This is a haunting view of a child's world where there is no "safe harbor" as she and her brother navigate between the volatility of their mother and the rigid demands of their father. Susan Henderson has written a powerful debut novel.
October 27, 2010
I hated this book. I never should have read beyond the first chapter, but I kept hoping the story would pull away from the suicidally depressed mother and move on with the daughter. It didn't. Some movies should never be watched twice. I've had enough depression already!
September 13, 2017
3.75
"It wasn't perfect, but I never needed perfect."
"It wasn't perfect, but I never needed perfect."
March 24, 2015
Hauntingly, heartbreakingly beautiful. Very will written and engaging. I loved it.
February 25, 2018
An emotional book displaying how mental health splinters a family. Most of the narrative is set in the 70's when Tillie is 8 years old and grappling with why her mother (and family) is so different from others. Rather than seeking help the issue is hidden and kept as a secret from the outside world. This is definitely not a happy feel good book but rather a raw look at the feelings of a little girl who aches for her mothers love.
April 19, 2018
A book you can’t put down
So much of this book resonated with me. The location bc I grew up in suburban Maryland not far from the cabin John bridge. The 70s references. The family dynamic wasn’t like mine but I had dysfunction too and throw in mental illness. The father daughter thing hit a cord. I really could not stop reading. I can’t tell you how I rooted for momma. This is the authors first novel...she knows how to spin a tale. Such a great read.
So much of this book resonated with me. The location bc I grew up in suburban Maryland not far from the cabin John bridge. The 70s references. The family dynamic wasn’t like mine but I had dysfunction too and throw in mental illness. The father daughter thing hit a cord. I really could not stop reading. I can’t tell you how I rooted for momma. This is the authors first novel...she knows how to spin a tale. Such a great read.
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