My Korean Deli: Risking It All for a Convenience Store

by Ben Ryder Howe

This warm and funny tale of an earnest preppy editor finding himself trapped behind the counter of a Brooklyn convenience store is about family, culture and identity in an age of discombobulation.

It starts with a gift, when Ben Ryder Howe's wife, the daughter of Korean immigrants, decides to repay her parents' self-sacrifice by buying them a store. Howe, an editor at the rarefied Paris Review, agrees to go along. Things soon become a lot more complicated. After the business struggles, Howe finds himself living in the basement of his in-laws' Staten Island home, commuting to the Paris Review offices in George Plimpton's Upper East Side townhouse by day, and heading to Brooklyn at night to slice cold cuts and peddle lottery tickets. My Korean Deli follows the store's tumultuous life span, and along the way paints the portrait of an extremely unlikely partnership between characters with shoots across society, from the Brooklyn streets to Seoul to Puritan New England. Owning the deli becomes a transformative experience for everyone involved as they struggle to salvage the original gift--and the family--while sorting out issues of values, work, and identity.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography, Audiobook, Food, Humor, Biography Memoir

304 pages, Hardcover

First published April 1, 2010

About the author

Ben Ryder Howe has written for The New Yorker, The Atlantic Monthly and Outside, and his work has been selected for Best American Travel Writing.

Reviews

[Matthew · Rating 1 out of 5]

My Korean Deli is a self-absorbed, egotistical piece of literary sh*t. This carelessly thrown together selective memoir is not at all deserving of the attention it garnered over a year ago. Howe's condescending narrative almost makes you want the business to fail (which it does in less than two years). The author comes across as a whiny, over-privileged, uninspired yuppie "slaving" away at a cushy magazine editing job while moonlighting as an incompetent convenience store owner. There's nothing "Korean" about the deli other than his wife and mother-in-law. It's a run-of-the-mill convenience store in Brooklyn selling typical convenience store products like beer and potato chips. There's little insight into Korean business practices or even his wife's family's culture other than Rowe's consistent petty judgmental reminder of his mother-in-law's imperfect English and stubborn work ethic. As Rowe even points out in the epilogue, it almost seems like he bought the store just so he could write a book about it later; you know, the time he was "slumming it". I wasted my time on this garbage of a book. Don't make the same mistake I did.

[RandomAnthony · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ben Ryder Howe's My Korean Deli is about as New York-centric, East coast focused as a book can be. I live in Wisconsin. Even though I grew up in Chicago, this whole “shopping at local delis that sound like convenience stores” culture feels alien. Why don't people in New York City shop at supermarkets? Do supermarkets not exist in New York City? I'm sure someone will correct my ignorance. Are these Korean delis like, I don't know, 7-11 or whatever? They kind of sound like 7-11 or a fancy gas station convenience store without the gas. I don't know. I guess it's not important, really. The book is more of a AJ-Jacobs (who gives a back cover blurb)-esque “let's be whacky and intelligent but placed in cutesy sentence-generating scenarios” book. Although Howe enters the business voluntarily, he walks the line between a stunt experience (like that guy who ate at McDonalds for a month) and authenticity.

Do I sound cynical? Sorry. Howe (Ryder Howe?) writes well. He smoothly intertwines his three different worlds. First, he's an editor for the Paris Review, replete with stories of George Plimpton in his underwear. Second, he lives in his wife's parents' basement on Staten Island. Third, he's a clerk at the Korean deli he and his and wife buy with his parents. Howe does a solid job describing his hours at the counter. I'd worry about fucking up the cash register, too, while customers waited in a long line. I'd both get bored and feel moments of connection with customers through small, courteous interaction. The crazy customers would piss me off and leave me feeling powerless. But, again, this Korean deli is outside my background and elements of the setting were beyond my understanding. Apparently people just...hang out...in Korean delis. Watch tv. Stand in the aisles. The clerks at the convenience stores around here would call the cops after maybe ten minutes of a customer's lurking in the aisles. So I approached this book more from an outsider's perspective than someone who grasped the setting intrinsically. That's ok. The tension that emerged between the author and his wife's mom was compelling and their shared sojourns to weird, faceless wholesalers fascinating. Howe is out of his element, aware of his shortcomings (e.g. he's good at editing stories but screws up stocking shelves), but willing to keep his mind and eyes open.

I can't say this book has a pressing reason to exist. It's more like a long, well-written magazine article than book-worthy. Three stars, light, read My Korean Deli on a plane or bus, but don't expect your world to rock.

[K · Rating 4 out of 5]

If this book had been fiction, it would have been way, way over the top. I mean, what the heck were these people thinking, abandoning prestigious white collar jobs to buy a convenience store in a semi-sketchy neighborhood in downtown Brooklyn with absolutely no experience? Having finished the book I'm still not sure, despite some vague explanation about a weird expression of gratitude from Ben's wife to her Korean parents.



So you've got this bizarre and highly unlikely situation, starring the author as a Jess Walter-esque hapless protagonist in a business situation that's way too complex for him to handle, plus the indomitable character of Ben's Korean mother-in-law and the various kooky personages inhabiting the store in various capacities. If it were a novel I'd be rolling my eyes and shouting at the author, stop trying so hard to be funny! But since this apparently actually happened, somehow it was funny (I think I now have a whole new layer of insight into why people were so upset with James Frey). Not to mention the fact that the story was also charming, sweet, and surprisingly poignant at times. Plus the audiobook reader did a great job, which definitely added to my experience -- I wonder if I would have enjoyed it as much in print, actually, which is unusual for me because I'd normally rather read visually.

But maybe this was the perfect audiobook -- not too demanding, not dumb, long enough to offer me something and short enough to hold my attention. It didn't change my life or anything, but it got me through some long nights of cooking and dishwashing and I really can't complain.

[Terryn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was downright shocked by how much I enjoyed reading “My Korean Deli.” I read the book in a day, it was so good. It’s a memoir written about how Ben (Waspy Bostonian white boy), his wife Gab (first generation Korean), and his mother-in-law (Korean immigrant) decide to open a Korean deli in the middle of a gentrifying neighborhood in Brooklyn. Ben works nights at the deli, and days at the Paris Review, a hoity toity literary magazine. Everything that can go wrong does go wrong, but Howe does an amazing job of getting the reader to feel where he’s coming from and the changes he sees in himself and his family as a result of his work at the deli.

The deli – a quintessential New York institution – is a gift from Ben’s wife to her mother as a show of appreciation. It ends up being a place where they all work through their issues, be they personal (Ben and Gab want to move out of Kay’s house, but can’t), financial (they owe a lot of money in taxes on the deli) or existential (should run a fancy deli for newly arrived hipsters, or a round-the-way bodega that serves the working class residents). In a completely unpretentious way, “Deli” lays bare what it means to be an outsider in a family or a neighborhood, what it means to be a true hustler, what gentrification looks and feels like (and its ramifications), and what community really means. The characters are vibrant and funny, particularly Ben’s strong-willed Korean mother-in-law Kay, and Dwayne, the eccentric deli employee that stayed on when the Howes’ took over the deli. These people and their struggles are the people that you see on any given day in any given deli in New York or anywhere else, and I found that to be the most compelling element of the book.

[Franc]

I've only made it to page 30, I don't think that I will finish. Full disclosure - I am half-Korean and my mother used to own a carry-out with a steam table; just puttin' it all out there. Given that - i agree that an American, his Korean wife, and MIL opening a deli in NY to assuage some guilt she has about her Mother's sacrifices, could be a hilarious or at least, interesting story.

Just a few chapters in and I'm kinda offended. Even the stereotypical deli-owning Korean family, I was going along with that. So here's the thing, well a couple things.
1 - dialect is a hard thing to do and do it well. He writes the speech of the Korean mother in the not-perfect English of an immigrant, and maybe it's kinda accurate, but I didn't like it. Yes, I admit, maybe I'm taking it personal.
2 - The husband doesn't seem to appreciate his wife's culture. When married into a culture different than your own, of course, the differences will stand out, and one may not fully embrace the culture of the other 100%, but you've at least got to have some level of respect for it. Right, kimchi will stink up your refrigerator and this can be made into a funny joke (we do at my house) but for some reason, it was irksome in this book.

Aside from his Korean-in-laws, he also goes on about North Koreans, Staten Island, and the ghetto.
So. I might be stuck at page 30 unless I'm convinced that it will get better.

*Note/edit- I did buy it knowing the premise of the story, but actually had forgotten it was a memoir, 'til I re-read the summary here on GoodReads. I don't know of this changes my opinion.

[V · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars. On the one hand, Ben Ryder Howe writes competently. His prose isn't purple, and doesn't get in the way of the story -- but overall, it's not memorable. Which is to say, it's amusing, but ultimately bland.

Howe's memoir is about taking the plunge into small business ownership with his Korean-American wife, who wants to purchase a deli to give to her mother. The plan is to get it up and running before turning it over to Howe's mother-in-law, who is stereotypically concerned with hard work, family loyalty, and money.

Oh, this book had potential. It's a crazy situation, and I was looking forward to the "Korean" part of My Korean Deli. Unfortunately, it didn't deliver what I was looking for. I was expecting hilarious. What I got was vaguely amusing, with a side of attempted deep and meaningful.

Howe's writing is not of the laugh-out-loud variety you'd expect with a cover like that. There are a few amusing lines, but overall the prose reads as though he's trying very hard to be funny, rather than actually pulling it off. There are also a number of extremely difficult situations throughout the book, including a few of the near-death (and death) variety, where there is a clear attempt at bringing a deeper meaning into the story. Yes, Howe brings some ruminations on life. They're a little more broad than deep.

I also would have liked to see fuller characterization of Howe's wife, and the relationship between the two. After all, she is the one who brought on the idea of purchasing a deli in the first place. You have to be a pretty committed husband to go along with that, throwing most of your life savings into a project with very high rates of failure and moving in with your in-laws out of necessity. But this crucial relationship (and the changes that inevitably occur) falls into the background, making way for the flashier story of arguing about gourmet vs. traditional delis, and more expensive coffee.

Sometimes amusing, but not the book to read if you're looking for the meaning of life.

Final word: meh. It's not a necessary read.

Source: I received an ARC of this title through the publisher.

[Paula Gallagher · Rating 3 out of 5]

A light, popcorn read. Howe breezily walks us through the trials of an enterprise foisted on him by his Korean wife Gab and her mother Kay. Never fully invested (psychically, physically) in the scheme to open a Korean deli in New York City and reap the profits, Howe is able to keep some cool remove in his storytelling. He's an editor working for George Plimpton at The Paris Review who is mystified by the workings of the cash register, his clientele's fondness for really bad 65-cent coffee, and the sales tax system.

The most interesting and fully realized "character" in this memoir is Dwayne, the longtime employee the family inherits from the previous owner. From his sixth sense about impending inspections and "stings" to his .37 pound sandwiches, sections that include Dwayne spark while others sputter along.

What I'd like to read is a prequel: a fully realized account of his marriage into a traditional Korean family, and the trials of having to move into his wife's parents' basement on Staten Island.

[Dawn Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not what I expected [not that I had huge expectations], but it was not horrible. I know I would never want to own a store of any kind, but this just solidified it. Totally. I admire Ben and his wife so much [and his wife's mother, who is a dynamo] and all they went through in the time they owned the store. Daunting and often sad, this was a good read. Happy that I was finally able to read it.

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

What’s not obvious from the title of this book is that Howe was, at the time in which this book is set, a senior editor at The Paris Review. And thus while the memoir is ostensibly about the author, his Korean wife and mother-in-law buying and running a Brooklyn deli, there’s a subplot about the final years of the Review under its venerable editor, George Plimpton.

Howe manages to weave his life at the Review, the trials of running a small business in New York, and, perhaps most compellingly, the tangle of emotion and obligation in his wife’s family’s life vs. his extremely Puritan New England upbringing. He’s a descendant of those who came over on the Mayflower (and his family never left Plymouth, MA) and as the book progresses he finds himself learning to understand and support his immigrant mother-in-law, and to give in to his wife’s sense of family duty. It’s an interesting perspective, and as a reader you can sense the anxiety it caused him. George Plimpton and the struggling Paris Review are another source of anxiety and stress, and yet Howe has written a humorous, loving memoir that displays both his discomfort with and respect for the ways Plimpton and his mother-in-law do things.

The descriptions of the inner workings of The Paris Review are intriguing, sometimes funny. (They would, I suspect, be funnier if I wasn’t submitting my own work to lit magazines.) For example:

"One of the quintessential Paris Review experiences is opening a cupboard to look for a coffee mug and having an avalanche of short fiction land on top of you. You open a closet meant for coats and there’s a stack of cardboard boxes containing unsolicited manuscripts. You sit down at your desk and stretch out your legs, and bump—there’s a whole milk crate of human creativity. There’s slush on the shelves in piles reaching up to the ceiling, slush in the basement in ice coolers and picnic baskets, slush under the toilet, slush over the sink … There’s so much slush it makes you wonder if everyone in the country, instead of watching reality TV and playing video games, is writing short stories."

The magazine lacked any employees handling the business aspects — marketing and permissions, for example, which led to mistakes by and complications for its editors, including Howe. And Plimpton’s failing health presents challenges that no one at the magazine is prepared to handle. Meanwhile Howe and his wife are living with his in-laws on Staten Island, working night shifts at the financially teetering deli and watching his mother-in-law work harder than he ever imagined possible. He must learn about her past and understand why she is the way she is. She’s a force in the book, a character that Howe presents perhaps more completely than he does his wife, a corporate attorney who works shifts in the deli after a long day in her Manhattan office. The family learns to manage employees, how to handle deliverymen who try to extort them, and they battle undercover officers trying to catch them in the act of selling cigarettes to minors. Of course, as in any convenience store, there’s also the added concerns about crime, small margins, and difficult customers. You can’t help but want to know how it turns out.

[Diane · Rating 4 out of 5]

As someone who married a man who owned two fast food restaurants, I really related to Ben Howe's story. He perfectly captures the craziness, the back-breaking work, insanely long hours, the horrible bureaucratic obstacles and yes, the occasional rewards of owning your own small business in America.

Howe tries to balance his work as an editor at the Paris Review, and the contrast between that world of the Upper East Side in NYC and the Brooklyn neighborhood where the Korean deli is located perfectly mirrors the patchwork of life in New York. His vivid portrait of his boss, George Plimpton, is so intriguing. What I know of Plimpton has mostly come from his reports of his own adventures (Paper Lion, etc.), so this look at him from Howe's point of view is fascinating.

Then there is Howe's Korean mother-in-law, Kay. Howe's wife Gab wanted to buy a deli for her mother to thank her for the sacrifices she made to educate Gab, sending her to college and law school. While WASPy Howe doesn't quite get this, he supports his wife, and they extend their living in his in-law's basement to buy the deli for Kay. Kay and Ben clash immediately while trying to find a deli to buy, and when they do buy one, Ben is way too slow to pick up the nuances of working the cash register. He is relegated to stocking shelves.

The deli is a meeting place for various characters in the neighborhood, some who hang around all day and night. Howe usually worked the late shift, so his customers were the creatures of the night. He grew to tolerate, and respect, these people, even while they exasperated him. One employee, an African-American man named Dwayne, came with the store, and while he was a good employee, always showing up for work, he frequently offended customers of the store with his language. In a book filled with colorful, interesting people, Dwayne is perhaps the most interesting. He knows everyone and everything about the neighborhood, and is a single dad trying to raise his daughters.

Immigrants are the backbone of this nation, and Howe tells Kay and her husband's story with honesty and respect. Where they came from, how hard they worked to get to America and make something of themselves, it is a tribute to the people who work long, hard hours, doing work that many people refuse to do, that explain how many cultures come here and make a success of themselves for their families.

Howe nails the difficulties of owning your own small business- the strain it puts on a marriage, the constant money worries- it's a 24/7 responsibility, much like having a child, which Ben and Gab are also struggling to do. His tales of the deli, what it means to the neighborhood, to his family, and eventually to him, give the reader a real appreciation of small business owners. I loved his story of Gab trying to get from Queens to Brooklyn during a horrible snowstorm, and of keeping the store open during the big blackout.

Howe is a gifted writer, and this book is one I would highly recommend. It's a great American story.

[Malbadeen · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm listening to this book because this winter my mom got sick, and then she got sick again, and again and again. It seemed like every time one infection cleared up, she'd have another. And then her nostrils finally gave in from all the havoc they'd endured and she got chronic and prolific nose bleeds. She would wake up in the middle of the night choking on her own blood. At one doctors visit a bleed started and progressed to the point that the doctors dealt with it by calling 9-1-1 and having her transported via ambulance to the nearest hospital.
After many doctors visits and lots of uncomfortable procedures, we learned that she has Chronic Lymphatic Lukemia. Her husband, who lost his first wife to Lukemia went into full on caregiver mode, ensuring her meals were as healthy as possible, that she got all the rest possible and that no unhealthy germs entered her path. When she was just making a turn for the better, her nose finally clear, her blood cells back to a healthy amount, and some of her energy returning, he started feeling worn down and went to the doctor for what appeared to have been a virus as well.
We were quickly informed that our seemingly healthy, incredibly active step-dad needed a minor heart procedure. Minor heart procedure escalated to triple bypass surgery, triple bypass surgery was complicated by a minor malfunction which caused the need for another surgery on the same night, which seemed to get him through the worst of it until they took out his tracheotomy which caused so much internal bleeding that they had to perform a THIRD surgery in less than 24 hours.
Through all of this, I watched my just barely healthy again mom struggle to remain hopeful and upbeat. I mostly set aside my own flash backs of when her first husband (my dad) died in a hospital 20+ years ago and tried to reassure her of all the ways this was so different.
I resumed my roll as her "rock" as she put it and dutifully provided as many distractions as possible, I brought conversation, books, magazines, and snacks to the hospital as we all hoped and prayed that this wouldn't be yet another long drawn out and totally unexpected goodbye.
It wasn't! He is home and recovering. Her last trip to the oncologist was only good news.
But when you go through something like this, and you're reminded that you don't spend enough time with people that you love, and that you've taken your relationships for granted, and that there is only a finite amount of time in which you can get to know people, you tend to say, "sure" when they ask you if you'd like to listen to a book on audio that they recently enjoyed.
I'm about 1/2 through the book now. It's fine. It's what I thought it would be a fairly well written, light hearted story, that wont shake my world, but will keep me good enough company while I'm going to and from work.

[Nancy Kennedy · Rating 5 out of 5]

You know how when you walk the streets of New York, you keep your eyes straight ahead? You don't look left or right, and you certainly don't slow down to peer into some little shop in a skeevy neighborhood, let alone go in.

Well, you don't have to go in. Ben Ryder Howe has gone into the store for you. In fact, he and his wife, Gab, bought the store. His wife quit her job as a corporate attorney to buy a deli in Brooklyn for her Korean mother, Kay ("the Mike Tyson of Korean grandmothers"), in a traditional gesture of gratitude.

The move is cultural whiplash for Mr. Howe, a senior editor at the venerable Paris Review who is descended from a long line of WASPy Boston Brahmins. He's no less stunned by the move to his in-laws' Staten Island home, where the couple move to save up money for the store. There, they live in the basement, where relatives come and go, rendering privacy an unknown entity, and the pungent smells of Korean cooking permeate the air.

Mr. Howe introduces readers to the hilarious cast of characters that parade in and out of their tiny convenience store. Who knew that regulars hang out drinking beer and watching TV until the wee hours at a deli? The most arresting portrait is that of Dwayne, the shop's long-time and loyal employee who insists sandwiches must include over a third of a pound of meat. "Dwayne has groupies, devotees and disciples, people from all over Brooklyn and every demographic in the neighborhood who come to see him," Mr. Howe says. They call him "Preach," but he packs heat.

No less fascinating is the inside look Mr. Howe gives of the hothouse literary atmosphere of the Paris Review under the editorship of the legendary George Plimpton, the scion of "participatory journalism." Editors drift in and out of the offices in the basement of George's Upper East Side apartment, parties break out, George pronounces. You'll laugh out loud at the depiction of the dreaded "slush pile," those thousands of unsolicited manuscripts that pour into any literary establishment. Here it's actually revered for its possibilities of harboring the next literary genius.

This is an edgier tale of the naife in the real world than Michael Gill's How Starbucks Saved My Life: A Son of Privilege Learns to Live Like Everyone Else. You'll enjoy Mr. Howe's tale of small business ownership and his struggle to survive despite police stings, spiraling debts, crime, punishing citations and the perils of trying to do something about his wretched coffee. Not least because readers can enjoy it all at a distance!

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this to be a real page-turner of a memoir about a guy who opens a Korean deli in Brooklyn, together with his Korean-American wife and Korean mother-in-law. He goes into a lot of explanation about Korean-American culture, and the culture of many other immigrants in NYC and how they make their living in various ways, often with really creative ways of gaming the system.

I got to live vicariously through someone brave enough to open a small business, since I am way too chicken to ever do it myself. I thought it was so interesting reading about all the challenges (some that threatened the business) involving taxes, regulations, cops trying to catch them not carding people, delivery people scamming them, how they got their merchandise, how they decided what and what not to sell, how they angered some customers while at the same time pleasing others with various decisions, etc. And also just plain trying to stay in business and simply keep their heads above water, especially during the early days.

I found all the parts about Kay (the mother-in-law) very interesting. Like many immigrants she has an extremely (almost to a fault, since it threatened her health) strong work ethic, and doesn't take any guff from no one. I loved reading about her background and how she got to this place in life. One thing I would've liked to read more about though is what happened to her after the end of the book--what new outlet for her work ethic is there?

I also enjoyed the narrator's impulsiveness, which got him into trouble more than once. He's a very fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants type person (which you almost have to be, to open a business like this), but boy did he get himself into trouble a couple times with some decisions that seemed extremely foolhardy. But it was fun to read about!

[Kressel Housman · Rating 4 out of 5]

A few of my Goodreads friends reviewed this book years ago, possibly when it first came out, and I was intrigued enough to add it to my to-read list, but I didn’t consider it a particular priority. I only remembered it recently, and that was because of the book Pioneer Girl, which is also about a small business owned by a family of Asian American immigrants, though it was a restaurant, and the family was Vietnamese. It was also fictional, not a memoir, but the most important difference is that the restaurant was just a fact of the character’s lives in Pioneer Girl. In this book, the deli is the main focus.

The narrator is a Boston-born white man who married into a Korean family, so a constant theme is the toughness of immigrants versus the ineptitude of the spoiled American. He makes so many mistakes, it gets painful to read about after a while, even though the book starts off with a light, humorous tone. But both he and the family grow from the experience, so you can’t help admiring them. It’s hard to run a small business. The idea scared me off before I read this book, so now I’m doubly scared. But in these years of tepid economic recovery, you’ve got to give credit to anyone willing to take the plunge. So hooray for small entrepreneurs! They’re the ones keeping the economy chugging along.

[Susie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I bought this book initially because I thought the premise was hilarious. A white guy working at a Korean deli? Hahaha. To be honest I wasn't expecting much, but I found myself pleasantly surprised. Without giving away too much, Ben Ryder Howe is a self-described WASP who marries a Korean woman, Gab. For whatever reason, they buy a deli for Gab's parents, Kay and Edward, which means that the whole family more or less signs their lives over to the deli. Howe meanwhile works as an editor at the Paris Review. What follows is a story of deli life, Paris Review life, and a study on Korean Americans.

Overall the book is very well-written and often hilarious at times. I even found myself on a rainy, windy night in Harlem waiting for the bus, clutching the book, completely engrossed by what I was reading. Howe makes the mundane day-to-day existence of a deli interesting. The character of Kay, his Korean mother-in-law as someone who pushed through pain and is stubborn as hell reminded me of a few of my Korean family members. Other fascinating characters, include Dwayne, the sole black employee at the deli, who runs on "Asian people time" not "black people time" and George Plimpton, the eccentric former head of the Paris Review.

In short, this is a good read and I'd recommend this to anyone wanting to read an offbeat memoir.

[Gayle Pitman · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was so disappointed by this book. I was expecting some powerful insights into Korean culture, generational conflicts, and cross-cultural clashes, and I found none of that. Instead, the writing style was breezy and cynical, constantly bordering on offensive. Instead of using humor selectively, Howe seemed to use every line as an opportunity to make a joke or cynical comment. Given the level of privilege Howe was coming from, I find the title to be ironic - a writer for a well-regarded magazine who went to a highly selective college is not "risking it all" in the same way Korean immigrant families are "risking it all" by coming here and doing what they can to achieve success. This book was a lost opportunity - had the author reflected humbly on his own level of privilege and his American cultural worldview and values throughout his commentary on Korean culture, I think this would have been a much stronger book.

[Gail Goetschius · Rating 3 out of 5]

My Korean Deli is the memoir of a WASP editor and his Korean wife who buy a deli in order to make enough money to gain independence from his wife's parents and then give the deli to his wife's mother. Living with his in laws and their extended family and owning and running a deli are about as far from Howe's comfort zone as he can get, yet his acceptance of the situations, his hard work, and his obvious love for his wife make him very likable narrator. I think I preferred the chapters about Howe working for George Plimpton at the Paris Review more than his experiences at the deli although both are amusingly told. I also liked his comments about the differences between his Boston Puritan background and his Korean family. They are funny and apt as well as loving and respectful .

[Theresa · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an really good book. The author does a nice job making the characters interesting with the dialogue and the narration is very good. (I listened to it on audio).The book held my attention which is difficult to do in nonfiction sometimes. I learned something about deli owners and how hard it is to run your own business. My favorite characters were the mother in law and Dwayne. I highly recommend this book especially the audio version.

[Norman Birnbach · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you've lived in New York City, you've been inside a Korean deli. Korean delis have been essential to New Yorkers for decades, and this book provides a behind-the-scenes look at what it's like to run one. There are insightful looks at what deli patrons want. For example, they'll notice minor changes to the selection or prices of the beer, cigs, lottery tickets, fast food selections and the decor -- but might not notice a new person behind the counter.

Ben Ryder Howe, who now writes for the New York Times and other papers, was an editor at the Paris Review, and his stint there and interactions with George Plimpton do come up often. At some point, the entire enterprise seems like a version of Plimpton's own dilettante exposure to professional sports (like "Paper Lion," his attempt to play quarterback on the Detroit Lions). While the focus is on running the deli, Howe was also juggling a full-time job at the Review, and I would've liked to understand how he handled the pressures and responsibilities (and the commutes to Manhattan from Staten Island and then to Brooklyn before returning home after the late shift). I also wondered what his colleagues felt.

The book was published in 2010, and one of the problems is that that was about seven years after Howe, his wife Gab and mother-in-law Kay purchased and ran a deli in Brooklyn. As he admits in his afternote, he didn't take notes during the first part of purchasing and running the deli so some details and aspects are glossed over.

The book recounts about a year or so of running the deli, which ultimately they sold as Gab took on a law job. I would have liked to have seen some closure about the impact on their marriage of juggling jobs and running the deli -- there's some but not as much as I think would have been interesting.

The one downside reading in 2022 a book written in 2010 is the aspect that privilege of Howe being a WASP with a deep history in New England and his wife being a first-generation American. He certainly addresses it at various times throughout the book. But he plays his privilege more for laughs, and it seemed to me the problem with all that was that while working in the deli was clearly stressful, I always had the sense that he could just walk away from it. But that Kay, his mother-in-law, could not -- because she needed money and that as an immigrant, she didn't have the recourses that Howe had.

Of course, that may not be fair to review a book published in 2010 by societal changes a dozen years later. But it didn't feel as much was at stake for Howe.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an entertaining and fun read about a family’s juxtaposition of “traditional” careers and their entrepreneurial foray into the world of deli ownership. Observing how another’s experience of a mixed white/Korean family mirrored and strayed from my own memories growing up, especially with my Korean grandmother, was a delight.

But most interestingly, what a fascinating peek beyond the curtain to the joys and struggles, and even mundane practicalities, of store ownership. This memoir harkened back to my feelings of excitement when I worked a cash register the first time, such a tactile and customer-facing role that was fun and never boring. Kinda like reading this book.

[Kate Z · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is one of those books which really sums up the book club experience for me. I didn't *want* to read this and I wouldn't have but for it being selected by my book club as our December 2011 read. Memoirs aren't really my thing and that's even more true when it comes to reading a memoir for a book club selection. I have a very snooty attitude when it comes to book club selections - I like to talk about THE BOOK and one thing I really appreciate about the book club I'm involved with is how on point we tend to stay. The anecdotes told during our book club meetings tend to relate directly to the book being discussed and that's how I like it. With a memoir what is there, really, to discuss? By definition, a memoir is the larger conclusions about mankind and life in general that the writer has gleaned through living his or her life. It's hard to argue with those. They may not be the conclusions YOU would reach, but you haven't lived that person's life ... So I was a reluctant reader here but in the end, although I'm not willing to say this was a great book or an "everyone should read this book" kind of memoir, I enjoyed my time Howe's My Korean Deli.

I was afraid of a pithy melting pot kind of book where all walks of life and socio-economic status walk though the titular deli (really, convenience store) and the writer's horizons are broadened beyond the literary, ivory towered world of the Paris Review. Happily, that wasn't what this book was.

First, the Paris Review became *much* more appealing to me (I subscribed ... merry Christmas to me). Second, I fell in love with George Plimpton. Wish he was still alive - I'd probably try to follow more of his doings if he was. The reason I fell in love with George Plimpton says more about this book than it does about Plimpton's character (at least the character viewed through the lens of this book). What comes across in this memoir is that Howe believes that people are basically good. He actually LIKES people - and that comes across in every part of this memoir and it probably had the greatest amount to do with my own enjoyment of this otherwise pretty inconsequential book. Not a lot happens and the world view that Howe espouses isn't revelatory in nature - but Howe comes across as a good guy who likes people and sometimes, as a reader, it's nice to spend time in that kind of "space."

I love sarcasm and social criticism as much as the next guy - one of my favorite books this year was Shteyngart's Super Sad True Love Story but if Howe had been a Calvinist I wouldn't have liked this book nearly as well.

The book was a bit heavy handed with the whole Puritans vs. (Korean) immigrant point but, nevertheless, despite the lack of subtlety, that point was made. I found it a warm, likeable book by an author with just the right mixture of intellectual curiousity, self-deprecation, humor and appreciation and love for his fellow man. He managed to convey a love of his wife and in laws that combined with a realism without any trace of underlying dislike. He managed to revere and fear his mother in law at the same time (kind of how I feel about my own mother in law's super ability at all times) without the expected trace of hostility.

This isn't a *great* book but it was easy to read and I'm glad I read it and feel enriched to some extent by the time I spent with Ben Ryder Howe and "[His] Korean Deli".

[kb · Rating 3 out of 5]

With my current obsession in all things Korean, was I excited to read this one! Truth is, I was hoping for some fiction to feed my longing for the Motherland but this memoir worked fine as well. It's a memoir about a married American-Korean couple trying to sort their lives out (and for the wife to fulfill her filial duties to her oma) by finding a Korean deli to run. Infused with family and career drama, I sped through 75% of the book in two nights. I enjoyed how deadpan some jokes were and how relatable their dilemmas were. Yes, sometimes the story fell on low points and the author seemed too self-centered and patronizing in some chapters but all in all, it was a fun read, enough to tide me over my obsession for a week.

[JP Capili · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't read a lot of memoirs, but this one caught my attention. It's not entirely about running a deli store, it's about the author's adventure or attempt at self-discovery. He talks a lot about his struggle to understand his Korean mother-in-law, his loosening of that puritan uptightness, and getting the confidence to take on unfamiliar situations.

Stories about his goofy but formidable boss and his pistol-packing employee bring out the fun and deep emotions from the book.

[Anna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book on the recommendation of a friend and because I live and work in an area with a large Korean population (NOT NY). I thought this might provide me further insights and knowledge of a culture I have only in recent years come to know. It did that in a lighthearted and humorous manner; I loved the way the author wrote! A fun and informative read!

[Tien · Rating 3 out of 5]

Many years ago, my mother and auntie bought & operated a business together. I don't want to give too much details but suffice that in was food industry and it just didn't go well. Everyone's health is compromised (physically and mentally) and the business itself did not do as well as we'd like it to be. After we got out of it, I told myself never ever again will I work in the food industry nor open my own business; the strain isn't worth it. So, going into this memoir, I was wondering how this family went and if they did well, how.

I won't tell you exactly how they went but let's say say that I'm justified in my conviction. Business is hard, not only on your pockets but everything else as well. This memoir goes beyond the business side of things as well though as it also explores the dimensions of a mixed marriage and how the write, a white guy, see his Korean in-laws and their culture. There were funny bits and a lot from which I could understand his wife, Gab's perspective. It's not just the mix due to marriage but also her upbringing in Korean family in America.

[Hibou le Literature Supporter · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fascinating, funny, addictive read. Devoured it in a week. Go behind the curtain and see how one of the iconic New York City images, the corner convenience store, really operates. Juggling inventory, dealing with deliverymen, managing co-workers, tolerating neighborhood crazies, and most of all, not knowing whether you will be able to make a profit. Makes me appreciate my own parents who worked a convenience store and kept their sanity. I also loved the subplot about Ben working at the Paris Review and seeing George Plimpton in action.

[Katherine Michalets Beck · Rating 3 out of 5]

An all-around good book with a fun insight into the world of deli store owning in NYC. I felt that there could have been more depth to the story, but it's hard to say where exactly. In some ways I think while the book was well-written and interesting, the content for the book was bit thin. But I would recommend reading it as the capturing of lifestyle of owning a deli/convenience store in NYC that not many people know or think about.

[Gary Apple · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a southerner visiting daughter and son in law in Brooklyn for Christmas, I was finishing my last book of three by Scott Gould and needed something else. We went for a day of breweries in the Gowanus area. Made a side trip to local bookstore and I was hesitant as to what I would find. This jumped off the shelf at me as a spent time in Korea in the 80’s while in the Marines and eat Korean whenever I get to NYC. Also love delis, from local corner delis to Katz. Great read and look forward to checking out the Paris Review in the future.

[Lee · Rating 3 out of 5]

So this book is strange.

It claims to be about a Korean deli.

But the protagonist is not Korean. He is married to a Korean-American woman.

It is also not a deli, but more of a bodega (though New Yorkers assure me that Howe's usage is proper in NYC, I still think this has to count as a point against him). He never once makes a sandwich, slices meat or does anything else that one would have to do to qualify as running a deli.

The plot is that Howe's mother-in-law and wife want to invest all their money in a shop in order to make some money. Howe decides to half-ass his job at the Paris Review in order to help run the store. But, a lot of the time, this book feels like it is more about his time at the Paris Review.

Beyond all that, Howe has this sense of humor that strikes me as similar to Bill Bryson's. I hate Bill Bryson, and I am not a fan of Howe either, but that is a personal issue.

What was interesting about this book is that provided insights into the process and problems of running a small store in Brooklyn.

[Meghan Sperdute · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF. Book club pick