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Is This OK? One Woman's Search for Connection Online
Music journalist, self-professed creep and former winner of the coveted ‘Fittest Girl in Year 11’ award, Harriet Gibsone lives in fear of her internet searches being leaked.
Until a diagnosis of early menopause in her late twenties, Harriet spent much of her young life feeding neuroses and insecurities with obsessive internet searching (including compulsive googling of exes, prospective partners, and their exes), and indulging in whirlwind ‘parasocial relationships’ (translation: one-sided affairs with celebrities she has never met).
Suddenly staring down years of IVF, HRT and other invasive medical treatments, her relationship with the internet takes a darker turn, as her online addictions are thrown into sharp relief by the corporeal realities of illness and motherhood.
An outrageously funny, raw and painfully honest account of trying to find connection in the age of the internet, Is This Ok? is the launch of an exciting new comic voice.
Until a diagnosis of early menopause in her late twenties, Harriet spent much of her young life feeding neuroses and insecurities with obsessive internet searching (including compulsive googling of exes, prospective partners, and their exes), and indulging in whirlwind ‘parasocial relationships’ (translation: one-sided affairs with celebrities she has never met).
Suddenly staring down years of IVF, HRT and other invasive medical treatments, her relationship with the internet takes a darker turn, as her online addictions are thrown into sharp relief by the corporeal realities of illness and motherhood.
An outrageously funny, raw and painfully honest account of trying to find connection in the age of the internet, Is This Ok? is the launch of an exciting new comic voice.
304 pages, Hardcover
Published May 25, 2023
43 people are currently reading
1199 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 115 reviews
May 10, 2023
obsessed with this book!! it perfectly encapsulates what it's like to grow up online and be caught in the lifelong search for connection while capturing the changing culture and social media of the 2000s, 2010s, and 2020s. Harriet Gibsone manages to write about all the embarrassing and cringeworthy stuff we do and think and the reasons behind them—the things we seldom admit to anyone else, the things that no teen coming-of-age comedy has ever explored with half as much cringe, humour, and honesty as Gibsone. there's something so special and specific about her writing, the way she blends humour and relatability, while displaying a generous amount of vulnerability, is a skill so impressive that it floored me.
as a writer myself, I found myself relating so heavily to Harriet's experiences with people she obsesses over online and thinks are too amazing and beautiful and talented to ever live up to. she's constantly acutely aware of her own feelings of imposter syndrome, feeling too basic, untalented, and stupid... always comparing herself to those around her who seem to be able to have original ideas and know how to pull the right words from their brain always at the right times, while she's too busy looking at these people for the right opinions so she can then somehow try to craft her own work and tweets. based on this book alone, however, it's exceptionally clear that Harriet is absolutely not a fake: she's the real deal and she's got the talent to prove it—even if it writing about her own life in this way is what took her to truly find it.
what I love the most about this book—aside from the entire chapter dedicated to being obsessed with Alexa Chung—is the humour, relatability, and vulnerability. there were several times I laughed out loud and then couldn't stop giggling at the absurd situations Harriet described, and the hilarious sentences she strung together. these remain present even as the book becomes darker when Harriet discusses her experiences with early menopause, a difficult pregnancy, and a traumatic birth that left her with PTSD. I experiences many emotions while reading this, both happy and sad, but it ultimately felt like a warm hug from a friend who understands.
thank you so much to Net Galley for an ARC. Is This Ok? by Harriet Gibsone is out on May 25th.
as a writer myself, I found myself relating so heavily to Harriet's experiences with people she obsesses over online and thinks are too amazing and beautiful and talented to ever live up to. she's constantly acutely aware of her own feelings of imposter syndrome, feeling too basic, untalented, and stupid... always comparing herself to those around her who seem to be able to have original ideas and know how to pull the right words from their brain always at the right times, while she's too busy looking at these people for the right opinions so she can then somehow try to craft her own work and tweets. based on this book alone, however, it's exceptionally clear that Harriet is absolutely not a fake: she's the real deal and she's got the talent to prove it—even if it writing about her own life in this way is what took her to truly find it.
what I love the most about this book—aside from the entire chapter dedicated to being obsessed with Alexa Chung—is the humour, relatability, and vulnerability. there were several times I laughed out loud and then couldn't stop giggling at the absurd situations Harriet described, and the hilarious sentences she strung together. these remain present even as the book becomes darker when Harriet discusses her experiences with early menopause, a difficult pregnancy, and a traumatic birth that left her with PTSD. I experiences many emotions while reading this, both happy and sad, but it ultimately felt like a warm hug from a friend who understands.
thank you so much to Net Galley for an ARC. Is This Ok? by Harriet Gibsone is out on May 25th.
February 27, 2023
Batshit crazy, and alarmingly relatable, 'Is This OK?' is an unflinchingly honest coming-of-age story. Harriet Gibsone had me snorting with laughter from the opening pages. The nostalgia is strong with this one. As the book progresses, Harriet's anecdotes become increasingly unhinged, resulting in an uncomfortable reading experience in places. Mainly because I've done some stupid stuff I'm not proud of too. Highly recommend it if you need a laugh and want to feel a little less weird.
February 17, 2023
Honestly, I'm really struggling to work out whether I enjoyed this book or not. Is This Ok? is an autobiographical look at the life of Harriet Gisbone, a music journalist. The book follows her over a number of years and looks at how her use of the internet changes over time.
Being a similar age to Harriet, I thoroughly enjoyed a lot of the references to things such as My Space but otherwise I found this quite tough going. It's a slightly unusual premise for an autobiography as Harriet isn't a celebrity, nor has she lived through a major event which is why most people would read this kind of book.
Honestly, I nearly gave up at the beginning as, whilst the writing was good, the 'story' was pretty non-existent and I found myself wondering why on earth I was reading about someone's fairly uneventful life. I did enjoy it more towards the end and found myself really empathising with Harriet as she grew her family.
Even after writing this, I still can't really work out whether I enjoyed it or not!
My thanks to NetGalley and the Publishers for sending me this ARC in return for an honest review.
Being a similar age to Harriet, I thoroughly enjoyed a lot of the references to things such as My Space but otherwise I found this quite tough going. It's a slightly unusual premise for an autobiography as Harriet isn't a celebrity, nor has she lived through a major event which is why most people would read this kind of book.
Honestly, I nearly gave up at the beginning as, whilst the writing was good, the 'story' was pretty non-existent and I found myself wondering why on earth I was reading about someone's fairly uneventful life. I did enjoy it more towards the end and found myself really empathising with Harriet as she grew her family.
Even after writing this, I still can't really work out whether I enjoyed it or not!
My thanks to NetGalley and the Publishers for sending me this ARC in return for an honest review.
February 12, 2024
A relatable, entertaining memoir about growing up online, working as a female music journalist in the 00s, sudden infertility and motherhood, and much more.
May 18, 2023
Is This OK? Is a memoir that looks back on the authors life, notably by focusing in on her use of the internet, social media, and a tendency to hone in on people through that lens. Growing up at the same time as the internet takes off, we get the usual look back on MSN, MySpace, and music forums, just as we do when Twitter blasts off as she is situating herself within music journalism, with it all coming to a head with Instagram, tik tok, zoom, and the global pandemic.
I’m a bit unsure on my thoughts for this one. I did enjoy reading it, and despite being that bit younger, I found it quite relatable in a way that I think most people, in their thirties and under, will - we’re so very easily drawn in to our phones, and we so easily make assumptions on other people based on what they have posted online. However the author tends to take that to the extreme, feverishly looking over partners ex-girlfriends digital footprints, hyperfixating on a fellow commuter (while struggling with personal issues), developing para-social relationships with influencers, and hearing Alexa Chung as the disparaging voice in her head.
While the overall theme of the book is internet culture, and the authors relationship to that, it also has a pretty interesting look into the indie music scene of 2007-2010, as she was working for a free music magazine during that time period.
The latter half of the book takes a turn, with talk of chronic illness, infertility, having a newborn, and dealing with a traumatic birth, just as the pandemic sinks its teeth into the world. I really felt for the author during these chapters, and I hope that she’s in a better place now.
This is an unflinching look into one woman’s internet habits, and while I don’t think it will be for everyone, I personally found it to be an interesting read.
Thank you to Netgalley, and Pan Macmillian, for the early copy to review.
I’m a bit unsure on my thoughts for this one. I did enjoy reading it, and despite being that bit younger, I found it quite relatable in a way that I think most people, in their thirties and under, will - we’re so very easily drawn in to our phones, and we so easily make assumptions on other people based on what they have posted online. However the author tends to take that to the extreme, feverishly looking over partners ex-girlfriends digital footprints, hyperfixating on a fellow commuter (while struggling with personal issues), developing para-social relationships with influencers, and hearing Alexa Chung as the disparaging voice in her head.
While the overall theme of the book is internet culture, and the authors relationship to that, it also has a pretty interesting look into the indie music scene of 2007-2010, as she was working for a free music magazine during that time period.
The latter half of the book takes a turn, with talk of chronic illness, infertility, having a newborn, and dealing with a traumatic birth, just as the pandemic sinks its teeth into the world. I really felt for the author during these chapters, and I hope that she’s in a better place now.
This is an unflinching look into one woman’s internet habits, and while I don’t think it will be for everyone, I personally found it to be an interesting read.
Thank you to Netgalley, and Pan Macmillian, for the early copy to review.
May 7, 2023
'Is This Okay' by Harriet Gibsone is like watching a demolition derby that’s starting to get out of hand; you go from mildly entertained to watching the flames rising and carnage turning bloody, and you find yourself starting to think “um, maybe someone should stop this.”
In the beginning, I enjoyed 'Is This Okay' as I grew up in more or less the same era, when the internet was starting to become “a thing”, with MSN, MySpace, then later Facebook, Twitter, etc. I felt a connection and a shared experience with Harriet during her school years and when she started university.
Sadly, as the book continued into her adult life, I started to feel less connected and more worried about her. Her addiction to the internet and cyberstalking celebrities or any random person she meets (seriously, no one is safe) became less funny and relatable, and instead more deranged and a bit unhinged. She comes across as proud of her cyber sleuthing and she is so keen to bare everything in her book, I’m surprised no one took her hand and told her that maybe this isn’t something the whole world needs to know.
I’d be a bit more understanding if she was a well known person and we could laugh about the funny situations she’s gotten into - but I’ve never heard of her (and neither has other reviewers). I initially thought she might have been a fictional character, and this was a Bridget Jones’ style diary, but a quick Google showed me she is real. She’s very self-deprecating about her work, and I can’t tell if she’s even a good music journalist or not, or if she’s deliberately being negative for the humour.
In the end, there’s no real moral to the story or moment of reflection. She doesn’t seem all that upset about the things she does, and I’m baffled why this previously unknown someone needed to write their life biography that has just shown the world that she should not be trusted with a computer or smartphone.
All in all, it’s a funny book at times but cringy the next. I’m off now to delete my Facebook and to block her before she looks me up next. 2.5 stars.
[This review is based on NetGalley ARC provided in exchanged for an honest, unbiased opinion]
In the beginning, I enjoyed 'Is This Okay' as I grew up in more or less the same era, when the internet was starting to become “a thing”, with MSN, MySpace, then later Facebook, Twitter, etc. I felt a connection and a shared experience with Harriet during her school years and when she started university.
Sadly, as the book continued into her adult life, I started to feel less connected and more worried about her. Her addiction to the internet and cyberstalking celebrities or any random person she meets (seriously, no one is safe) became less funny and relatable, and instead more deranged and a bit unhinged. She comes across as proud of her cyber sleuthing and she is so keen to bare everything in her book, I’m surprised no one took her hand and told her that maybe this isn’t something the whole world needs to know.
I’d be a bit more understanding if she was a well known person and we could laugh about the funny situations she’s gotten into - but I’ve never heard of her (and neither has other reviewers). I initially thought she might have been a fictional character, and this was a Bridget Jones’ style diary, but a quick Google showed me she is real. She’s very self-deprecating about her work, and I can’t tell if she’s even a good music journalist or not, or if she’s deliberately being negative for the humour.
In the end, there’s no real moral to the story or moment of reflection. She doesn’t seem all that upset about the things she does, and I’m baffled why this previously unknown someone needed to write their life biography that has just shown the world that she should not be trusted with a computer or smartphone.
All in all, it’s a funny book at times but cringy the next. I’m off now to delete my Facebook and to block her before she looks me up next. 2.5 stars.
[This review is based on NetGalley ARC provided in exchanged for an honest, unbiased opinion]
November 24, 2023
Initially this book was a relatable and fun read, about the author’s self doubts and insecurities and her obsession with stalking people online, all told in a witty, self-deprecating style. Unfortunately, as the book continued in the same vein throughout, with little hope of personal growth or development, it began to feel repetitive, long-winded and dreary.
It appears that Harriet Gibsone has spent her entire life trying to turn herself into the various people she obsessively follows online, from fellow-journalist colleagues like ‘Laura’ to celebrities like Alexa Chung. It made me feel really sad, because Harriet – as presented through her own words – seems perfectly lovely and lovable if she could only set aside those obsessive thoughts.
All her relationships, both online and IRL, are subjected to exhaustive analysis, comparison and self-conscious adjustments in her search for some imagined perfect state of being, in herself and in relation to others.
I get it, and I definitely related to her struggle, as I am also a massive overthinker, but reading an entire book of someone else putting themself through this repeatedly made me feel small, tired, embarrassed and depressed. On the plus side, it also made me resolve to work on my own issues and ease off on the overthinking (thankfully I am not also a cyber-stalker!), so that is a positive outcome from the read!
The anecdotes about music journalism and the author’s personal relationships are all very interesting and well-written, so it’s not that the book isn’t entertaining… it just carries a lot of emotional weight that the humour struggles to lift.
It appears that Harriet Gibsone has spent her entire life trying to turn herself into the various people she obsessively follows online, from fellow-journalist colleagues like ‘Laura’ to celebrities like Alexa Chung. It made me feel really sad, because Harriet – as presented through her own words – seems perfectly lovely and lovable if she could only set aside those obsessive thoughts.
All her relationships, both online and IRL, are subjected to exhaustive analysis, comparison and self-conscious adjustments in her search for some imagined perfect state of being, in herself and in relation to others.
I get it, and I definitely related to her struggle, as I am also a massive overthinker, but reading an entire book of someone else putting themself through this repeatedly made me feel small, tired, embarrassed and depressed. On the plus side, it also made me resolve to work on my own issues and ease off on the overthinking (thankfully I am not also a cyber-stalker!), so that is a positive outcome from the read!
The anecdotes about music journalism and the author’s personal relationships are all very interesting and well-written, so it’s not that the book isn’t entertaining… it just carries a lot of emotional weight that the humour struggles to lift.
May 22, 2023
This was enjoyable but at times seriously disturbing and I feel impressed Harriet Gibsone shared so much. It's a memoir through her time spent online. A millennial, she starts with flirting on MSN, finding strangers in chatrooms, asking for their a/s/l, starting a MySpace. We move on to Facebook, random Google searches of her boyfriend, his ex, her exes, a colleague, etc... It gets really disturbing when she fixates on a stranger she has never spoken to but sees daily while waiting at the bus stop. Her pregnancy through IVF is told through the Mom influencers she follows, though Ella (of Deliciously Ella), trying to connect with other mums after a traumatic birth...
Overall I loved the confessional style, although I wished there was more of a structure. I was unsure of where we were at times, because it wasn't always linear. I wonder if it would have worked better as essays but I found it pleasant nonetheless and I liked her humour.
Free ARC sent by Netgalley
Overall I loved the confessional style, although I wished there was more of a structure. I was unsure of where we were at times, because it wasn't always linear. I wonder if it would have worked better as essays but I found it pleasant nonetheless and I liked her humour.
Free ARC sent by Netgalley
July 1, 2024
I really enjoyed the first half of this book as it was a fascinating (and very relatable) insight into the unregulated internet access that late millennials / early gen-z’s had growing up. The second half dragged a little for me, though it was still funny in places
May 28, 2023
I requested a copy of this on an impulse - having reading a positive review somewhere - after finding out that the author was a similar age to me (born in the late 1980s) and that the book focused on searching for connection online as a millennial; how a life spent chronically "online" in one's formative teenage years can shape you as a person.
This is far from the first book to tackle this topic, but it is by far the most relatable, honest and engaging take on the topic I've read thus far. I don't think I've felt quite so "seen" by a memoir before, and Gibsone doesn't shy away from some of her most cringeworthy or embarrassing moments. Recommended!
Thank you to NetGalley and Picador for the advance copy, which was provided in exchange for an honest review.
This is far from the first book to tackle this topic, but it is by far the most relatable, honest and engaging take on the topic I've read thus far. I don't think I've felt quite so "seen" by a memoir before, and Gibsone doesn't shy away from some of her most cringeworthy or embarrassing moments. Recommended!
Thank you to NetGalley and Picador for the advance copy, which was provided in exchange for an honest review.
December 3, 2023
This was just…. A lot.
Harriet Gibsone is a music journalist, and she’s wanted to be a music journalist since she was a teenager. Her memoir talks about that — and about the need (and ability!) to look up everyone she meets, no matter how briefly, on social media. How that urge follows her through life, but also about many other challenges she faces.
It’s honest, and it’s very detailed and raw, and maybe this is what she needed. For me, personally, it was just simply too much of it all.
Harriet Gibsone is a music journalist, and she’s wanted to be a music journalist since she was a teenager. Her memoir talks about that — and about the need (and ability!) to look up everyone she meets, no matter how briefly, on social media. How that urge follows her through life, but also about many other challenges she faces.
It’s honest, and it’s very detailed and raw, and maybe this is what she needed. For me, personally, it was just simply too much of it all.
January 15, 2025
3.5 rounded up.
Compulsively readable, first 80 pages were remarkable in showing the lack of unique experiences of everyone who grew up in the 00s, but lost me in the final third. I think this book didn’t know exactly what it wanted to be - the focus on online worlds and social connection then sorta disappeared, only to be hugely revisited and analysed (and brilliantly so) in the last few pages. Wish that had gone on muuuuuch longer!
Compulsively readable, first 80 pages were remarkable in showing the lack of unique experiences of everyone who grew up in the 00s, but lost me in the final third. I think this book didn’t know exactly what it wanted to be - the focus on online worlds and social connection then sorta disappeared, only to be hugely revisited and analysed (and brilliantly so) in the last few pages. Wish that had gone on muuuuuch longer!
July 12, 2024
I need to know if Chris Martin has read this book.
Read
August 5, 2024Crikey i was not prepared for all that trauma...
August 15, 2024
While I did enjoy the experience, as the writer’s style and narration was smooth and easy to listen to, I strongly feel that this book lacked direction and was tad bit too long.
The title reads Is This OK? One Woman's Search For Connection Online, and therefore I expected it to delve into how relationships manifest and are maintained online, and what role the digital world has on them. While I am not one to nag when my expectations are not met, neither do I hate it when I am surprised, this book did not deliver on the promise the title holds. The author describes her experiencing early love in her teen years, navigating life and turbulent relationships in her twenties, and struggling with early menopause and trying pregnancy in her thirties. She goes at length about her music taste and how it shaped and coloured her life, and then follows to talks about her parasocial relationships online and her obsession with online voyeurism - so to speak. The central focus is not the digital life, but is a contributor to all these events. My issue is not with the topics themselves, but rather with how unbalanced they feel. It goes on too long about one thing at the expense of another, and generally seems to fall out of direction every now and then. A case in point is when at the follow up QA done with the author at the end of the audiobook, all, and I mean all, the questions were about music, and very little had to with the premise of the title: digital connection. While it was true that she did seek this connection early on in her life and then it gradually turned into bitter and critical consumption of people’s lives, this shift was never fully pinpointed, identified, hashed out and discussed in the book, neither was there significant growth or epiphany to be had.
Nonetheless, I really enjoyed her narration and writing style, and would give future publications a go.
The title reads Is This OK? One Woman's Search For Connection Online, and therefore I expected it to delve into how relationships manifest and are maintained online, and what role the digital world has on them. While I am not one to nag when my expectations are not met, neither do I hate it when I am surprised, this book did not deliver on the promise the title holds. The author describes her experiencing early love in her teen years, navigating life and turbulent relationships in her twenties, and struggling with early menopause and trying pregnancy in her thirties. She goes at length about her music taste and how it shaped and coloured her life, and then follows to talks about her parasocial relationships online and her obsession with online voyeurism - so to speak. The central focus is not the digital life, but is a contributor to all these events. My issue is not with the topics themselves, but rather with how unbalanced they feel. It goes on too long about one thing at the expense of another, and generally seems to fall out of direction every now and then. A case in point is when at the follow up QA done with the author at the end of the audiobook, all, and I mean all, the questions were about music, and very little had to with the premise of the title: digital connection. While it was true that she did seek this connection early on in her life and then it gradually turned into bitter and critical consumption of people’s lives, this shift was never fully pinpointed, identified, hashed out and discussed in the book, neither was there significant growth or epiphany to be had.
Nonetheless, I really enjoyed her narration and writing style, and would give future publications a go.
October 29, 2023
This author hilariously captures what it was like to grow up with the internet from AIM to now present tik tok. The story of the music festival will be relatable to anyone who has ever gone to one. Stalking exes in her childhood or stalking her therapist in adulthood, this book was hilarious. 4.5! Read it for a good laugh
July 3, 2024
It's easy to read and genuinely funny at times and often so relatable... but also just a cringe compilation that became difficult to enjoy. Harriet is obviously more successful than average socially, romantically and professionally so the unrelenting self-deprecation reads as disingenuous. The part where she gets help could have thread through instead of being tagged on at the end.
December 11, 2023
Likeable narrator/protagonist, great writing, a solid audio production - overall a really interesting depiction of growing up as a chronically online millennial in the days of MySpace and Alexa Chung etc etc. I enjoyed!
Read
October 11, 2023DNF @ 30% - not for me - too much detail on the cultural scene of 90s/2000s etc
December 30, 2023
Made me feel so much better about myself - which I’m not entirely sure was the point - and also start a Substack for some reason?
May 27, 2024
DNF after 20 pages. Urrkk!!
May 10, 2024
I loved this book!
Life online, the madness of it, of female healthcare and early menopause, having non-tranquil births… all of it. Honest, funny funny funny and felt like chatting to a mate.
Life online, the madness of it, of female healthcare and early menopause, having non-tranquil births… all of it. Honest, funny funny funny and felt like chatting to a mate.
June 14, 2024
Interesting to read about similar online experiences, however very fast paced and muddled timeline/writing
July 6, 2024
Never has a book made me feel so seen. Whilst I can’t relate to all of Harriet’s experiences, she perfectly encapsulates what it was like to grow up as the first young generation with the internet and how it fed on our neuroses before we understood what social media and the power of the internet really meant. This has made me reflect on my social media usage and affirmed for me something I already knew - for me, it’s just not healthy.
A thoroughly honest, unflinching collection of connected essays.
A thoroughly honest, unflinching collection of connected essays.
December 12, 2023
"I've come to realize my relationship with the internet is an infidelity-a remorseless, ongoing affair with the fringes of humanity while I am in a stable relationship with all of my friends and relatives."
This book was a surprise in two ways. First of all, I was completely wrong about the premise; this book was actually a memoir on online stalking? obsession with social media? and not an exploration of mental health and its connection to screens and social media, which I would have preferred tbh. But that's on me. Secondly, the later half really saved the book for me, which is a weird thing to say. After all, this is a book on somebody's life. I just can't stand reading about teenagehood which was a big part of this book, especially when I see my problematic behaviors of the past reflected back at me. I'm really tired of reading about eating disorders. It was really jarring this time around, since there was no trigger warning (which I'm used to in memoirs in particular).
There were really strong elements in this book, though: I am kind of obsessed with the first chapter and the way our author introduces herself. I loved how my opinion of her narrative changed from finding it annoying to intriguing. Her approach was definitively original and sort of unhinged, which I generally liked. As for the name dropping, I kinda loved it ?! The best chapters for me were those discussing her marriage, health and struggles with fertility and birth: I found them especially well written, raw and genuine. All in all, this was an interesting, fast paced read.
This book was a surprise in two ways. First of all, I was completely wrong about the premise; this book was actually a memoir on online stalking? obsession with social media? and not an exploration of mental health and its connection to screens and social media, which I would have preferred tbh. But that's on me. Secondly, the later half really saved the book for me, which is a weird thing to say. After all, this is a book on somebody's life. I just can't stand reading about teenagehood which was a big part of this book, especially when I see my problematic behaviors of the past reflected back at me. I'm really tired of reading about eating disorders. It was really jarring this time around, since there was no trigger warning (which I'm used to in memoirs in particular).
There were really strong elements in this book, though: I am kind of obsessed with the first chapter and the way our author introduces herself. I loved how my opinion of her narrative changed from finding it annoying to intriguing. Her approach was definitively original and sort of unhinged, which I generally liked. As for the name dropping, I kinda loved it ?! The best chapters for me were those discussing her marriage, health and struggles with fertility and birth: I found them especially well written, raw and genuine. All in all, this was an interesting, fast paced read.
April 8, 2023
Not my usual genre and I’m still not sure how I feel about it. It took a while for me to get into it, not knowing where it was going to go or what I could expect. As I write this review, the words that spring to mind are amusing, shocking, unhinged, raw, refreshing, unsettling. A complete mixed bag!
The author unashamedly shares the most intimate and embarrassingly inappropriate journey from teen to mum but I couldn’t shake the cringe factor so many times!
I’m 41 and understood the majority of the references throughout the book, and I enjoyed being transported back in time to my teenage years but ultimately, I didn’t find this a comfortable read. It may be because it’s not my usual genre and I usually have a different reading experience, but I’m sure some will find this book really relatable
2⭐️
The author unashamedly shares the most intimate and embarrassingly inappropriate journey from teen to mum but I couldn’t shake the cringe factor so many times!
I’m 41 and understood the majority of the references throughout the book, and I enjoyed being transported back in time to my teenage years but ultimately, I didn’t find this a comfortable read. It may be because it’s not my usual genre and I usually have a different reading experience, but I’m sure some will find this book really relatable
2⭐️
February 18, 2023
This book wasn’t quite what I expected. I thought it was going to be a darkly humorous look at certain aspects of teenage life and early adulthood. While it did have some of that side to it, the main undercurrent of obsession and internet addiction was far more unsettling.
I found it interesting to read because of the author’s age and the clear impact that the internet and social media had on her life and relationships. She writes honestly, exposing her painful thoughts and experiences. It was eye-opening for me as someone of a slightly older generation.
My thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for sending me a copy of this book in return for an honest review.
I found it interesting to read because of the author’s age and the clear impact that the internet and social media had on her life and relationships. She writes honestly, exposing her painful thoughts and experiences. It was eye-opening for me as someone of a slightly older generation.
My thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for sending me a copy of this book in return for an honest review.
February 25, 2024
NO BOOKMARK NEEDED
start anywhere
finish anywhere
The sort of book you need to check page number every time otherwise you could flip 5 or 10 pages, be none the wiser and not care enough to read the missing pages.
And what is with the pathetic back cover nonsense with authors patting each other’s back ?
Stick them and their marketing drivel out of sight
start anywhere
finish anywhere
The sort of book you need to check page number every time otherwise you could flip 5 or 10 pages, be none the wiser and not care enough to read the missing pages.
And what is with the pathetic back cover nonsense with authors patting each other’s back ?
Stick them and their marketing drivel out of sight
December 28, 2025
看着看着把卸载的网易云音乐重新下载回来了写了女主的成长经历爱情，暗恋并成为恋人附近街区的男孩，刚刚上网msn的联系方式，在看第二个是和一个独立音乐平台乐评人恋爱，故事串联了时代感的音乐，青少年心动自卑虚荣写的很好，对里面提到的很多音乐都不知道，对这本书少了一些共情和喜欢吧，
写的很真诚真实，作者不怕外界评价直接写自己婚恋和生活感受，每章基本上都有写一个人，曾经的恋人、羡慕的同僚网络、明星、陌生人，有和自己的交集或者对仅仅对照，我怀疑不怕被本人看见，不过这本书本身看的人就很少哈哈哈。最后一章才点题，关于网络成瘾的思考。前面可以看出女主没有自我，在意身边人的评价感受，以及追求流行音乐潮流行为，生活作息饮食习惯不好服美役，导致30岁就更年期提前卵巢早衰无法怀孕，借卵生子，产前做了很多严重后阴道撕裂严重，产后抑郁ptsd，包括接受一些心理治疗去心理互助小组。
《Is This Ok?》
Harriet Gibsone
18个笔记
3. The Fittest Girl in Year 11
◆ 如果是后一种情况的话，我想应该只是臀部有点曲线而已，并没有什么可羞愧的。不过，无论哪种情况，我都需要弄清楚才行，这样我才能在睡前故事中描绘他的形象：我们想象中的第一次相遇，背景音乐是Crazy Town的《Butterfly》；在那个故事里，我就是他，看着自己在一场音乐会的热闹人群中穿梭移动。今晚舞台上有一支乐队在表演，他们是Snow Patrol，但真正的明星其实是我；以至于当我在观众中穿梭走动、抽烟时，那位贝斯手都会惊讶地注视着我——这就是神秘与调皮的代表啊。
◆ This is it then. I won’t feel good again for five hours. I’ve finally made it to WLIG headquarters and I’m pulling a whitey.
迈克递给我一瓶伏特加，我直接喝下了它。另一个家伙给了我一支大麻烟，我也接受了。这种冷热交替、上下起伏的感觉，让一阵强烈的恶心感涌上我的身体：这种感觉从我的大脑两侧开始蔓延，一直延伸到我的喉咙，最后重重地击中我的胃部。就这样吧，接下来五个小时里，我肯定不会再感觉舒服了。我终于来到了WLIG的总部，现在正在吸大麻烟。
For either ten or forty-five minutes I am quiet, praying the group can converse without me while it passes, and that nobody asks for my opinion. I am nodding and laughing, and hoping beyondall hope my reactions are appropriate for the current topic of conversation, which I cannot follow as my hearing has been muddled by the drugs and the sentences are hurtling from every corner of the campsite.
12. William
◆ 雌激素水平下降会导致更年期女性腹部脂肪堆积；
◆ 情绪波动大、偏头痛、出汗、易怒、体重增加、无精打采、关节疼痛、心悸、口吃、夜惊、失眠、记忆力减退、性欲减退以及缺乏自信——这些都是早发性卵巢功能不全的症状。这种病症过去被称为“早发性卵巢衰竭”，
◆ 我喜欢与年长的男性约会，也一直在努力让自己显得成熟、世故……然而，这些追求最终却让我直接进入了女性晚年的阶段——那个充满困扰的阶段：青春期那种躁动不安的情绪依然存在，但身体却已经变得衰老、萎缩，再也无法像年轻时那样支撑那些情绪了。
◆ 将自己身体这种本应属于私人的部分转化为一种可以被商业利用的商品，这其中也隐藏着一些阴暗面。这些算法实际上是在奖励那些愿意分享自己痛苦经历的人。显然，你越是愿意分享，吸引的观众就会越多，而你的整个身份也会因此被定义为“处于困境中的人”。
14. Literally Never Ever Been Happier
◆ 在你认识我之前，我就已经认识你了。一位西班牙医生将你轻轻地带到了我的生命中：在屏幕上，那只是一个灰黑色的囊胚；灯光熄灭后，你爸爸握住了我的手，我们都屏住了呼吸，而你被极其精准地安置在了我的体内。
◆ 虽然我不是完全创造了你，但我倾注了全部的心血来确保你的诞生——这一切都源于纯粹的爱、幸运，以及一些神奇的因素：医学界的杰出人才、人们的善意与坚韧，还有你父亲在面对这个看似不可能实现的梦想时所怀有的那份本能的乐观。
◆ 毕竟，表现得“勇敢”且“真实”似乎也会让人精疲力竭，而且这种表现方式本身也带有一层复杂而略显做作的色彩。
15. I Am Grateful for My Bed
◆ 那些曾经造成的心理创伤如今又重新出现了，它们对我的精神状态产生了极大的负面影响，甚至已经形成了一种新的性格特征；那种慢性疾病也严重扭曲了我的自尊心；而持续不断的网瘾更是让这一切变得更加糟糕。
◆ 当你处于震惊之中时，是假装不出快乐的。你只能在自己当时身体条件允许的范围内，充分享受某种情境带来的乐趣。我对此深信不疑；
◆ 在短短的时间内，他彻底改变了我的生活：他了解我所有的困扰——那些持续一生的迷恋、那种“冒名顶替综合症”以及我对自己的厌恶之情。此外，接受心理治疗所带来的自我认同感的提升实在令人陶醉，我实在不愿意很快就放弃这种体验。在其他的任何领域，我都无法如此毫无顾忌地成为焦点、占据中心舞台长达五十分钟。
Instead of a blank slate to project my thoughts onto, thanks to this social media excavation I now know that Julian is also a human – a man who loves The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, outlandish suits, and Ruth, who is prevalent on his Facebook profile right up until 2018. She’s funny, brash – a woman who knows hermind and lives life to the fullest.
16. Is This OK?
◆ 接着，又有一个心理学家分析了为什么由于人们无休止地沉迷于互联网，人们的童年时光正在变得越来越短暂；然后，又是几个小女孩以一种对于那些实际上还不被允许观看《加勒比海盗》系列电影的人来说显得过于成熟的方式跳舞…
◆ 如果你每天八小时所接触到的都只是文明中那些混乱、负面的方面，那么我就能理解为什么社交会显得像是一项充满挑战的任务了。不过，这个世界上也有很多善良、友善的人，只是他们很少会成为人们关注的焦点罢了。
◆ 我们还会观看那些充满政治阴谋论内容的虚假视频，这些视频会让我们陷入一种抑郁、恐惧的情绪之中，从而让我们更容易被各种微潮流所影响；而当我们肚子开始咕咕叫时，我们订购的食物就已经送到了家门口；最后，我们所有人都开始穿着人造皮革制成的衣服……就好像我们置身于21世纪初拍摄的一部充满未来感的音乐视频中，只不过没有蒂姆巴兰带来的说唱段落来缓解这种紧张氛围。
◆ 据说是由我的甲状腺功能减退、激素失衡引起的偏头痛，或是分娩时受到的创伤所导致的……我不知道具体是哪种原因，但我确实经常陷入这种状态。当各种压力或恐慌情绪积累到一定程度，而我又没有时间去缓解这些压力时，我的大脑就会进入“应急模式”。在这种时候，我甚至能听到自己大脑里传来“嗡嗡”的声响，就好像我的大脑正在过热一样。之后的一两周里，我就像机器人一样行动着——沉默不语，神情呆滞，动作迟缓且充满悲伤。这种状态让我感到恐惧：我的大脑如此脆弱，根本无法同时处理多种情绪。独自照顾儿子让我感到害怕
◆ 然而残酷的事实是，我其实一直在关注别人。任何拥有一部可以使用社交媒体的手机的人，都在这样做：盯着别人看，绞尽脑汁地给他们分类、评判，或是对他们表示赞叹或批评。这种行为确实很累人，但这样的行为真的可以被接受吗？
◆ 虽然资本主义最终是无法被推翻的，但那种陷入绝望、忽视简单生活的真正价值、不断沉溺于那些将自己想象成地球上最卑微的生物的幻想之中，实在是一种令人疲惫不堪的生活方式。
-- 来自微信读书
写的很真诚真实，作者不怕外界评价直接写自己婚恋和生活感受，每章基本上都有写一个人，曾经的恋人、羡慕的同僚网络、明星、陌生人，有和自己的交集或者对仅仅对照，我怀疑不怕被本人看见，不过这本书本身看的人就很少哈哈哈。最后一章才点题，关于网络成瘾的思考。前面可以看出女主没有自我，在意身边人的评价感受，以及追求流行音乐潮流行为，生活作息饮食习惯不好服美役，导致30岁就更年期提前卵巢早衰无法怀孕，借卵生子，产前做了很多严重后阴道撕裂严重，产后抑郁ptsd，包括接受一些心理治疗去心理互助小组。
《Is This Ok?》
Harriet Gibsone
18个笔记
3. The Fittest Girl in Year 11
◆ 如果是后一种情况的话，我想应该只是臀部有点曲线而已，并没有什么可羞愧的。不过，无论哪种情况，我都需要弄清楚才行，这样我才能在睡前故事中描绘他的形象：我们想象中的第一次相遇，背景音乐是Crazy Town的《Butterfly》；在那个故事里，我就是他，看着自己在一场音乐会的热闹人群中穿梭移动。今晚舞台上有一支乐队在表演，他们是Snow Patrol，但真正的明星其实是我；以至于当我在观众中穿梭走动、抽烟时，那位贝斯手都会惊讶地注视着我——这就是神秘与调皮的代表啊。
◆ This is it then. I won’t feel good again for five hours. I’ve finally made it to WLIG headquarters and I’m pulling a whitey.
迈克递给我一瓶伏特加，我直接喝下了它。另一个家伙给了我一支大麻烟，我也接受了。这种冷热交替、上下起伏的感觉，让一阵强烈的恶心感涌上我的身体：这种感觉从我的大脑两侧开始蔓延，一直延伸到我的喉咙，最后重重地击中我的胃部。就这样吧，接下来五个小时里，我肯定不会再感觉舒服了。我终于来到了WLIG的总部，现在正在吸大麻烟。
For either ten or forty-five minutes I am quiet, praying the group can converse without me while it passes, and that nobody asks for my opinion. I am nodding and laughing, and hoping beyondall hope my reactions are appropriate for the current topic of conversation, which I cannot follow as my hearing has been muddled by the drugs and the sentences are hurtling from every corner of the campsite.
12. William
◆ 雌激素水平下降会导致更年期女性腹部脂肪堆积；
◆ 情绪波动大、偏头痛、出汗、易怒、体重增加、无精打采、关节疼痛、心悸、口吃、夜惊、失眠、记忆力减退、性欲减退以及缺乏自信——这些都是早发性卵巢功能不全的症状。这种病症过去被称为“早发性卵巢衰竭”，
◆ 我喜欢与年长的男性约会，也一直在努力让自己显得成熟、世故……然而，这些追求最终却让我直接进入了女性晚年的阶段——那个充满困扰的阶段：青春期那种躁动不安的情绪依然存在，但身体却已经变得衰老、萎缩，再也无法像年轻时那样支撑那些情绪了。
◆ 将自己身体这种本应属于私人的部分转化为一种可以被商业利用的商品，这其中也隐藏着一些阴暗面。这些算法实际上是在奖励那些愿意分享自己痛苦经历的人。显然，你越是愿意分享，吸引的观众就会越多，而你的整个身份也会因此被定义为“处于困境中的人”。
14. Literally Never Ever Been Happier
◆ 在你认识我之前，我就已经认识你了。一位西班牙医生将你轻轻地带到了我的生命中：在屏幕上，那只是一个灰黑色的囊胚；灯光熄灭后，你爸爸握住了我的手，我们都屏住了呼吸，而你被极其精准地安置在了我的体内。
◆ 虽然我不是完全创造了你，但我倾注了全部的心血来确保你的诞生——这一切都源于纯粹的爱、幸运，以及一些神奇的因素：医学界的杰出人才、人们的善意与坚韧，还有你父亲在面对这个看似不可能实现的梦想时所怀有的那份本能的乐观。
◆ 毕竟，表现得“勇敢”且“真实”似乎也会让人精疲力竭，而且这种表现方式本身也带有一层复杂而略显做作的色彩。
15. I Am Grateful for My Bed
◆ 那些曾经造成的心理创伤如今又重新出现了，它们对我的精神状态产生了极大的负面影响，甚至已经形成了一种新的性格特征；那种慢性疾病也严重扭曲了我的自尊心；而持续不断的网瘾更是让这一切变得更加糟糕。
◆ 当你处于震惊之中时，是假装不出快乐的。你只能在自己当时身体条件允许的范围内，充分享受某种情境带来的乐趣。我对此深信不疑；
◆ 在短短的时间内，他彻底改变了我的生活：他了解我所有的困扰——那些持续一生的迷恋、那种“冒名顶替综合症”以及我对自己的厌恶之情。此外，接受心理治疗所带来的自我认同感的提升实在令人陶醉，我实在不愿意很快就放弃这种体验。在其他的任何领域，我都无法如此毫无顾忌地成为焦点、占据中心舞台长达五十分钟。
Instead of a blank slate to project my thoughts onto, thanks to this social media excavation I now know that Julian is also a human – a man who loves The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, outlandish suits, and Ruth, who is prevalent on his Facebook profile right up until 2018. She’s funny, brash – a woman who knows hermind and lives life to the fullest.
16. Is This OK?
◆ 接着，又有一个心理学家分析了为什么由于人们无休止地沉迷于互联网，人们的童年时光正在变得越来越短暂；然后，又是几个小女孩以一种对于那些实际上还不被允许观看《加勒比海盗》系列电影的人来说显得过于成熟的方式跳舞…
◆ 如果你每天八小时所接触到的都只是文明中那些混乱、负面的方面，那么我就能理解为什么社交会显得像是一项充满挑战的任务了。不过，这个世界上也有很多善良、友善的人，只是他们很少会成为人们关注的焦点罢了。
◆ 我们还会观看那些充满政治阴谋论内容的虚假视频，这些视频会让我们陷入一种抑郁、恐惧的情绪之中，从而让我们更容易被各种微潮流所影响；而当我们肚子开始咕咕叫时，我们订购的食物就已经送到了家门口；最后，我们所有人都开始穿着人造皮革制成的衣服……就好像我们置身于21世纪初拍摄的一部充满未来感的音乐视频中，只不过没有蒂姆巴兰带来的说唱段落来缓解这种紧张氛围。
◆ 据说是由我的甲状腺功能减退、激素失衡引起的偏头痛，或是分娩时受到的创伤所导致的……我不知道具体是哪种原因，但我确实经常陷入这种状态。当各种压力或恐慌情绪积累到一定程度，而我又没有时间去缓解这些压力时，我的大脑就会进入“应急模式”。在这种时候，我甚至能听到自己大脑里传来“嗡嗡”的声响，就好像我的大脑正在过热一样。之后的一两周里，我就像机器人一样行动着——沉默不语，神情呆滞，动作迟缓且充满悲伤。这种状态让我感到恐惧：我的大脑如此脆弱，根本无法同时处理多种情绪。独自照顾儿子让我感到害怕
◆ 然而残酷的事实是，我其实一直在关注别人。任何拥有一部可以使用社交媒体的手机的人，都在这样做：盯着别人看，绞尽脑汁地给他们分类、评判，或是对他们表示赞叹或批评。这种行为确实很累人，但这样的行为真的可以被接受吗？
◆ 虽然资本主义最终是无法被推翻的，但那种陷入绝望、忽视简单生活的真正价值、不断沉溺于那些将自己想象成地球上最卑微的生物的幻想之中，实在是一种令人疲惫不堪的生活方式。
-- 来自微信读书
October 21, 2023
One of the lovely things about studying journalism is seeing your old friends and peers progress in their respective fields. Whenever one writes a book, I like to support them and hear what they have to say. As someone who studied journalism with Hattie at university way back when, I had to get this. I remember being impressed by an early piece of hers about a certain uni student, and feeling impressed. She still retains that witty writing style, likeability and understanding of people in this book.
Listening to the audiobook was a bit like some kind of therapy for me. As a similarly-aged millennial, I could relate to a lot of things here - well, maybe not wearing frocks and stylish clothes and y’know, the whole being a woman thing - but growing up with the internet, having addictive tendencies and a sort of uncontrollable inner curiosity.
The book feels split into two halves - one, Hattie’s youth and escapades in the music journalism game, and two, her more recent adult life, covering the pressures of work, becoming a parent, the early menopause and other difficulties Hattie writes about with honesty and transparency. I found myself both laughing out loud at times, and feeling sad at others. It’s raw and real and human. I was left seeking some kind of additional closure, but perhaps that’s for another book in the future.
For me, the book is also further evidence of the dangers of social media and comparing yourself with others, who are often painted in an unnaturally perfect way.
Anyway, I don’t want this review to become a book in itself. So I’ll say it’s well-written and well worth a read, and I’ll leave you with some of the quotes that stuck with me:
“The algorithm knows me more than I know myself.”
The idea of social media taking us on “an emotional safari”
“There’s a lot of sweet and easy people out there - they just rarely go viral.”
Oh, and lastly. Hat, you are amazing. Please don’t let anyone else (even inadvertently) tell you otherwise! Good look for the future and I look forward to seeing how you get on.
Listening to the audiobook was a bit like some kind of therapy for me. As a similarly-aged millennial, I could relate to a lot of things here - well, maybe not wearing frocks and stylish clothes and y’know, the whole being a woman thing - but growing up with the internet, having addictive tendencies and a sort of uncontrollable inner curiosity.
The book feels split into two halves - one, Hattie’s youth and escapades in the music journalism game, and two, her more recent adult life, covering the pressures of work, becoming a parent, the early menopause and other difficulties Hattie writes about with honesty and transparency. I found myself both laughing out loud at times, and feeling sad at others. It’s raw and real and human. I was left seeking some kind of additional closure, but perhaps that’s for another book in the future.
For me, the book is also further evidence of the dangers of social media and comparing yourself with others, who are often painted in an unnaturally perfect way.
Anyway, I don’t want this review to become a book in itself. So I’ll say it’s well-written and well worth a read, and I’ll leave you with some of the quotes that stuck with me:
“The algorithm knows me more than I know myself.”
The idea of social media taking us on “an emotional safari”
“There’s a lot of sweet and easy people out there - they just rarely go viral.”
Oh, and lastly. Hat, you are amazing. Please don’t let anyone else (even inadvertently) tell you otherwise! Good look for the future and I look forward to seeing how you get on.
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