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That Dorky Homemade Look: Quilting Lessons From a Parallel Universe
Fed up with feeling like you can't meet the standards of the Quilt Police? Do you want to quilt for comfort and pleasure -- and not to win some high-falutin' quilting contest? Weary of worrying about what others will think of your color choices -- or your pieced points? Or your applique stitches? That Dorky Homemade Look: Quilting Lessons from a Parallel Universe is the quilting companion you've been wishing for. Lisa Boyer, a popular columnist for Quilting Today magazine, gives you permission to quilt because you love it. She clears your path of all those merciless judgments pronounced by the Quilting Queens. She invites you to make quilts that are full of life. This funny book offers these nine principles for the 20 million quilters in America: 1. Pretty fabric is not acceptable. Go right back to the quilt shop and exchange it for something you feel sorry for. 2. Realize that patterns and templates are only someone's opinion and should be loosely translated. Personally, I've never thought much of a person who could only make a triangle with three sides. 3. When choosing a color plan for your quilt, keep in mind that the colors will fade after a hundred years or so. This being the case, you will need to start with really bright colors. 4. You should plan on cutting off about half your triangle or star points. Any more than that is showing off. 5. If you are doing applique, remember that bigger is dorkier. Flowers should be huge. Animals should possess really big eyes. 6. Throw away your seam ripper and repeat after me: "Oops. Oh, no one will notice." 7. Plan on running out of border fabric when you are three-quarters of the way finished. Complete the remaining border with something else you have a lot of, preferably in an unrelated color family. 8. You should be able to quilt equally well in all directions. I had to really work on this one. It was difficult to make my forward stitching look as bad as my backward stitching, but closing my eyes helped. 9. When you have put your last stitch in the binding, you are still only half finished. Your quilt must now undergo a thorough conditioning. Give it to someone you love dearly—to drag around the house, wrap up in, spill something on, and wash and dry until it is properly lumpy. "No reason not to have quiltmaking be a pleasure", says Lisa Boyer, who has as firm a grip on her sense of humor as she does on her quilting needles. "If we didn't make Dorky Homemade quilts, all the quilts in the world would end up in the Beautiful Quilt Museum, untouched and intact. Quilts would just be something to look at. We would forget that quilts are lovable, touchable, shreddable, squeezable, chewable, and huggable -- made to wrap up in when the world seems to be falling down around us."
124 pages, Paperback
First published May 25, 2002
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews
June 22, 2008
This was one of the most hilarious books that I have read in a long time. Maybe because I could relate to so much of it. Pure joy, a fun read!
November 6, 2014
Lisa Boyer is humourous, self-deprecating, and always observant. She is a liberated quilter who doesn't worry about mistakes, and describes herself as a law-abiding citizen who is an “outlaw quilter”. There are too many rules for quilting, and they can kill the fun. Mistakes are necessary for the artistic process. Boyer reminds us that those beautiful antique quilts hanging in national galleries were made with scraps of old fabric, without any specialized tools, and without rules. The rules and the tools will change but your love for the craft won't, so it’s important not to get bogged down. She advises to accept only the rules you like, and ask yourself “Can you live with this mistake?” before pulling your seam ripper out. Note: this book is a series of essays on quilting, not a technical reference.
January 8, 2012
Very funny book, with practical tips for beginning quilters who will be relieved that a book allows for human mistakes. There is no perfection in the world of dorky quilts, but as the author, Lisa Boyer, points out, no one has ever cuddled with an heirloom quilt hanging in a gallery or packed away in acid-free tissue. I read this book long ago, and thought of including it only when I referred to it on my facebook page, Terry's Thoughts and Threads. Join me there - you'll find Daily Tips for quilting and/or writing. No pre-requisite skills required!
July 18, 2014
This is a quick, easy read. Ms. Boyer has written a series of essays that probably only a quilter could really relate to. Each of the chapters tells of a way that quilting has infiltrated her life and her way of thinking and acting. If you read her other book on the subject, it is more of the same.
October 12, 2009
This book of short essays about quilting had me laughing throughout, often so hard I cried. It makes me feel better about my quilting failures and now I know what my Mom means when she says her quilts "talk to her"!
April 7, 2013
A must read for any level of quilter. Will help you realize that you are not the only fabriholic. We all need bumper stickers that warn "I brake for all quilt stores". Laughed the whole way through.
July 3, 2013
This is a cute book. As a new quilter it made me laugh. I didn't rate it higher as it was not gripping (I kept forgetting to pick it back up to read it and read several other books while in this one). It's an easy read and a bit of fun.
January 30, 2017
It was a lighthearted read, not meant to be taken too seriously. I liked the way she encouraged the reader not to be too much of a perfectionist and to love their creation, even with its imperfections. That was very encouraging to me.
January 9, 2016
This book was a fun read and helped me break through my tendency to let perfectionism stop quilting and other projects. I completed three baby quilts in 9 days after reading it!
July 28, 2011
This book was really fun & cute. Lots of humorous insights on quilting and crafting in general- a fun, quick read.
November 9, 2011
This was a rather funny and charming little book. If it taught me one thing it would be "nobody will notice that."
October 3, 2012
What a cute read. I was giggling at some of the chapters and way too many of them rang true.
May 7, 2013
Humor for quilters. Like "Stash Envy", the author does a nice job. This is another quick easy read. It was funny, and fun to read. Great gift.
August 22, 2015
Fun and endearing!
June 30, 2018
fun stories - can read 1 or more at a time - then go on to your chores smiling
February 26, 2020
Some of her stories are funny, but some drag on.
August 30, 2020
A cute, light-hearted read for anyone who likes to sew or craft. A perfect little palate cleanser in between heavier reads.
July 15, 2024
Hilarious!
July 26, 2024
Some humor but really no point to the book.
October 23, 2011
2002
Ms Boyer was trying to be humorous, but to me it was just hokey. Any good information that is in the book is buried so deep, it was hard to find. I had to take a highlighter and highlight the important information. Those factoids were few and far between and could have been stated in less than quarter of the book.
Nonnie,
Ms Boyer was trying to be humorous, but to me it was just hokey. Any good information that is in the book is buried so deep, it was hard to find. I had to take a highlighter and highlight the important information. Those factoids were few and far between and could have been stated in less than quarter of the book.
Nonnie,
June 25, 2013
This book lives up to its title, "dorky". Although I thought there were some redeeming thoughts in this book, many of the attempts at humor go over like a lead balloon. I am a quilter, though, so I'm glad I read it.
November 17, 2009
A fun look at quilting! ;-)
June 24, 2011
Fun, quick read.
December 31, 2011
A stale old look at the completely obvious, not at all hidden side of quilting.
March 22, 2013
It was a quilters ranting book.
November 13, 2013
Read in 2006.
Very funny lady. Still have the book.
Very funny lady. Still have the book.
February 10, 2015
I've. never felt much pressure from the quilt police. Perhaps starting in my forties or learning mostly from youtube. Even so, this was a fun book. Good stories and a touch of advice.
July 26, 2009
A fun and funny quilting book.
December 8, 2009
This is a very fun read.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews