From Innocence to Entitlement: A Love And Logic Cure for the Tragedy of Entitlement

by Jim Fay, Dawn Billings

Every parent needs this book! Never hear, It's not fair, or But I want it again! No more giving into your kids demands. Have the courage to say No. Stop stealing your child's potential for future happiness . Create the happy family of your dreams Entitlement- the ruination of a generation. Does your kid expect every new electronic toy and gadget, every new game, every new fashion trend, and when old enough a new car? Are you stealing your child's potential for happiness, respect, appreciation, imagination, and joy? Entitlement has become an epidemic. Yet parents think they are giving in to this disease out of love for their children. In From Innocence to Entitlement: A Love and Logic Cure for the Tragedy of Entitlement the legendary Jim Fay, and entitlement expert, Dawn Billings, take an in-depth look at the devastation and destruction of entitlement and provide techniques for preventing and curing the problem.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology

140 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2005

Reviews

[Ryan · Rating 2 out of 5]

After hearing so much about it, this is my first look at the famous "Love and Logic" approach. We read it for a book study at school. I like some of the strategies, and I'm sure my wife and I will implement some of the discipline ideas with our kids. However, in terms of a "cure for the tragedy of entitlement", this book falls well short. It goes on about values and gratefulness and the dignity of the human person... with no mention of the Truth Incarnate whom are values are derived. No mention of the God to whom our gratefulness is owed. And no mention of from where human dignity comes - being made in God's image. All of these "cures" may or may not help make a child more "successful" in this world, but without helping make them successful in the next world, it's all for naught.

One last thought. The lines that annoyed me the most were the ones regarding the few "logical consequences" that parents should not allow their children to experience because of their potential harm. The list included "unprotected sex". As if so-called "protected" sex is not harmful. The authors need to brush up on the myth that is "protected" sex. What exactly is "protected"? Mind, body, heart, or soul? The answer is none of the above.

[J · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was excited to see this on my local library bookshelf. We are blessed to live in a wealthy area, but it is very important to my husband and me that our children appreciate everything they are given. It is such a challenge - you want to give your child the best of everything but you don't want them to grow up *expecting* the best. Our school also hosts "Love & Logic" workshops, so I was curious to check out the series.

The Introduction mentions macro-evolution and climate change as accepted facts, which didn't strike the best tone for me. It did mention other legitimate societal complains though, so I began the book skeptical but hopeful.

Unfortunately, the book just seemed off to me. I didn't end up finishing it. They seemed to label a ton of misbehavior as entitlement - children wanting their parent's attention, refusing to apologize for hitting someone, ect. It wasn't exactly offensive, but it just seemed off. I can't put my finger on exactly what. It was like they were trying to define and create 'virtue' independent of morality or religion. 100% secular and disconnected from natural law. They ended up with some twisted definitions and logic. It was the blind trying to lead the blind.

I am interested in this topic, but found myself personally resistant to this book. I don't think I will read any more of their books or participate in any Love & Logic workshops in the future!

[Jostalady · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have taken two classes on Love and Logic parenting and this is the second book I have read on it. I am still working on the practical applications. I wasn't raised this way and it seems shockingly foreign at times, but I basically agree with the ideas presented here.

[Corrin Noggle · Rating 2 out of 5]

A book with career advice

[E · Rating 1 out of 5]

My narcissistic and abusive mother loved this book, so make of that what you will.

[Patrick Peterson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good short book for parents. From the wwww.loveandlogic.com organization. Excellent lesson on how incidious feelings of entitlement can be, personally and socially. Doesn't relate the topic too much to the too much government welfare problem, but almost all the lessons in the book support libertarian analysis and the importance of self responsibility.

Not as many "how-to" (deal with the entitlement problem) lessons in this book as with the other book of Jim Fay's I've read, or the many audio CDs I've listened too. But still gives some good ones, e.g. start a family tradition of every day considering (out loud) how thankful you are for someone.

Audio CD of this book is sub-standard quality for this organization, though that may be partly because of the way the book was written, vs. all the narrator and production values fault. The narrator is far too loud and "preachy" compared to all the other (6-7 CDs I've heard from loveandlogic.com). His pronunciation of some words is even incorrect on some things. The tracks in my CD player did not advance on their own accurately all the times I listened to the book. I had to manually advance certain tracks.

[T · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this was a powerful book. It helped me better understand entitlement and the way it seeps into our family relationships. Normally I would have labeled these types of behaviors and feelings as selfishness, and at it's core that's what it really is, but the word entitlement has at its core a nuiance that adds greater meaning. It implies a feeling of pride that we are owed something because we exist, are better than others, or simply becuase that has been the pattern of our lives from our parents. Anyway we dice it, we need to cut this out of our lives. We need to empower our children with a sense of worth based on the contributions they help make in our families and communities. The only reason I did not give this book 5 stars was becuase it spends a majority of the time in the book discussing entitlement in society, and not enough discussing the skills necessary to combat it.

[Carie · Rating 4 out of 5]

The first 6 Chapters of this book are absolutely 5 stars. Should be required reading for all parents. Completely right on about entitlement and children. I thought they actually were equally applicable to adults. You must read this book just for the first chapters.

After such a great beginning, I was very disappointed in Chapters 7-9, the "application" chapters. I was hoping for very clear "how to's" to deal with situations. No such luck. The behavior suggestions didn't always match-up with what they were trying to teach. Often the section ended without really clarifying the lesson. Bummer. Still worth reading for the first few chapters.

(Also a very quick read: only 100ish pages. It doesn't ramble on.)

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another great book from the Love & Logic folks! This short read is actually two books. The first part deals mostly with ideas about entitlement and it's prevailing presence in our culture; namely how destructive it is in all areas of our lives and the lives of our children. The second part presents Love & Logic strategies to combat entitlement - every day solutions that parents can use with kids at any age.

[Kate · Rating 2 out of 5]

Good start to a really important topic. I felt that the examples didn't always tie in to what they were trying to teach, and often the chapter or section ended without really solidifying the lesson. Maybe for those ensconced in the Love and Logic ways this would make sense. But for those new to the program, this book was just the tip of the iceberg as to how to make real changes. Definitely gives us something to think about.

[Bonnie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed the perspectives and advice offered here. I have been wary of the entitlement displays of my children and how society pushes materialism so heavily. Jim Fay gives lots of real-life examples, I love his storytelling style. I appreciate the information here, but would have liked a little more by way of concrete ways to help kids avoid materialistic tendencies.

[Melanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really enjoed this book when I first read it about 4 years ago - it's a quick and easy read. But when I re-read it recently, I didn't find much value in it. Maybe because it's a quick and easy read, but doesn't have a lot of "how-to" in it. The fundamentals are good, but other Love & Logic books are more useful.

[Al · Rating 4 out of 5]

I couldn't agree more... From the cover:

Every parent needs this book!
* Never hear, "It's not fair," or "But I want it" again!
* No more giving into your kids demands
* Have the courage to say "No"

[Jaime · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't agree with everything in this book- but it gets you thinking and has some great principles that I'm trying to apply in my parenting.

[Afrundt]

Good points... Parenting style a bit strict with little room for compromise but I need that at times, too.

[Rachel · Rating 2 out of 5]

I agree with the premise of the book, but didn't think it offered any new information or suggestions as compared to the basic love and logic book - a waste of a read.

[Jo · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm liking the ideas in the book but the writing is so contrived! Some of the conversation are so unrealistic - especially what some supposed teens have said, that it gets annoying :-)

[Kate N · Rating 4 out of 5]

In order for kids to NOT feel entitled to everything, they need to learn respect, gratitude, and manners. Good advice.

[Jessica Keepe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every parent NEEDS to read this!

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Challenging...thought-provoking.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another excellent book from the love and logic institute. Uses humor and logic to teach parents about training your child to use money
Wisely, starting with graham crackers for toddlers!!!!

[Debi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very wise advice.

[Kim]

I really enjoy Jim Fay's writing and his Love & Logic advice, but the other author's writing style was not a type that I enjoyed.

[Heather Black · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this book because I think this is an issue of epidemic proportions. This was a very good change of perspective in addressing the problem and facilitating strength in kids.

[Holly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think every parent, and anyone who works with kids should read this book. Wish I had read it years ago. Foundational for helping kids become healthy people

[Adrienne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Could've gotten the points across without the first 7 chapters. Good ideas and examples.

[Rose · Rating 3 out of 5]

A useful book on an important topic. Clearly written, good examples.

[D Teegan]

First chapter was pretty intriguing, so stop what you are doing and read it right now!

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

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