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Deal with It! A Whole New Approach to Your Body, Brain, and Life as a gURL
Deal With It! offers a whole new approach for dealing with your life as a girl. It's a resource to help you learn about, laugh about, and figure out the stuff you go through on your way through life. It won't tell you what to do, because you'll need to decide that for yourself. But whether you're wondering about your body, your feelings or your changing relationships with the people around you, this book provides accurate information and outlines your options. Hilarious illustrations point out the humor in even the sorriest situations. And with hundreds of excerpts from real-girl conversations on the gURL.com website, you can see for real that whatever you're going through, you're not alone. This book is for anyone who needs to know what it means to be a girl -- from those on the edge of their teens to those who are way past them but still reeling from the trauma.
320 pages, Paperback
First published September 1, 1999
5 people are currently reading
340 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews
May 22, 2015
This was an amazing book for me while going through puberty. I'm actually trying to find another copy, since I cant find my original one.
May 19, 2009
This book is worlds better than The Care and Keeping of You in terms of its approach and the variety of information it includes. It briefly covers a huge constellation of topics under four different groupings/headings, which I will list here: Body (anatomy, skin, hair, body image), sexuality (sexual feelings, sex, deciding to do it or not, protection, getting pregnant, sexual preference, unwanted sex, and boys), brain (psychology and feelings, self-destructive behavior, drugs and alcohol), and life (family, friends, romance, school, beliefs, being yourself, and money). This is another book aimed at the whole lives of "gurls," not just sexual health and wellness.
Because I am personally biased, I was disappointed in their explanation of vegetarianism and veganism (and actually, they call vegans "vegan vegetarians"... WTF!). It implied you would be malnourished if you stopped eating animals, even just as a vegetarian, and you had better see a doctor for guidance. That sucked.
It's also out of date insofar as the info it offers on menstrual products. Pads, tampons, and the sponge. It mentions Instead Cups, but only vaguely and not by name.
It claims that condoms are 100% effective against STDs (sic). It does not mention FAM, which, I don't know, maybe they thought people so young wouldn't be responsible enough to handle it? But that seems like a huge oversight. It mentions the rhythm method and "early withdrawal" in a little tiny square. It calls the rhythm method unilaterally unreliable and says definitively that pre-ejaculate contains sperm. Again, oversimplification.
The main thing that bugs me? No sources are cited! There is a list of resources at the end of every section, but broad statements are made with no back-up for them, and that irritates me to no end. It should irritate you, too.
On the plus side, it's formatted on colorful, glossy pages; it uses a typewriter font and is designed to look as though someone has cut out pieces of paper and glued them onto the page, as with a DIY zine. Although the format does give it a certain dated and 1990s vibe, there is never a huge block of text and I think that's a good thing. Topics are broken up into digestible sections.
The other thing this book does right is that on every single page (literally) there are little snippets from real "gurls," presumably writing from gURL.com. So you have that personal experience thing running parallel with the authors' "expert" knowledge.
One thing that bothered me was that the section about SA is really "DO THIS" about it. It says things like DO NOT BATHE OR CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES. GO TO THE HOSPITAL. TELL THE POLICE/DOCTOR/FRIEND/CRISIS COUNSELOR. GET A RAPE KIT DONE. GET TESTED. CONTINUE COUNSELING. The tone really makes me uncomfortable. I think it's another time when adults are writing for teenagers and they are saying what they think is the Right Thing to Do, and not anticipating that teenagers are smart and might have different ideas about what is best for them, and they might know better than adults. This book REALLY encourages reporting rape and talks about it like although it is harrowing, you'll feel better in the end and it's the right thing to do. Puke. I'd rather see the info presented as: Here are the facts and options; you decide what feels right/safe to you.
I'd also like to see repeated reiterations about how rape is the rapist's fault and his/hers alone. The self-defense section might leave a teenager thinking that if s/he learns the right moves, s/he can prevent rape! Gad.
Overall, I think the info is good, it's just the approach. It's too directive and oversimplified.
The cartoony sketches of "gurls" are all very standard-shaped (no one is fat, for example), and they are mostly a little punky. They avoided dealing with race by making the skin color whatever the page color was (and they are all very bright non-skin-tones).
Overall, this is something I'd be pretty comfortable handing to my
(hypothetical) daughter for us to discuss.
Because I am personally biased, I was disappointed in their explanation of vegetarianism and veganism (and actually, they call vegans "vegan vegetarians"... WTF!). It implied you would be malnourished if you stopped eating animals, even just as a vegetarian, and you had better see a doctor for guidance. That sucked.
It's also out of date insofar as the info it offers on menstrual products. Pads, tampons, and the sponge. It mentions Instead Cups, but only vaguely and not by name.
It claims that condoms are 100% effective against STDs (sic). It does not mention FAM, which, I don't know, maybe they thought people so young wouldn't be responsible enough to handle it? But that seems like a huge oversight. It mentions the rhythm method and "early withdrawal" in a little tiny square. It calls the rhythm method unilaterally unreliable and says definitively that pre-ejaculate contains sperm. Again, oversimplification.
The main thing that bugs me? No sources are cited! There is a list of resources at the end of every section, but broad statements are made with no back-up for them, and that irritates me to no end. It should irritate you, too.
On the plus side, it's formatted on colorful, glossy pages; it uses a typewriter font and is designed to look as though someone has cut out pieces of paper and glued them onto the page, as with a DIY zine. Although the format does give it a certain dated and 1990s vibe, there is never a huge block of text and I think that's a good thing. Topics are broken up into digestible sections.
The other thing this book does right is that on every single page (literally) there are little snippets from real "gurls," presumably writing from gURL.com. So you have that personal experience thing running parallel with the authors' "expert" knowledge.
One thing that bothered me was that the section about SA is really "DO THIS" about it. It says things like DO NOT BATHE OR CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES. GO TO THE HOSPITAL. TELL THE POLICE/DOCTOR/FRIEND/CRISIS COUNSELOR. GET A RAPE KIT DONE. GET TESTED. CONTINUE COUNSELING. The tone really makes me uncomfortable. I think it's another time when adults are writing for teenagers and they are saying what they think is the Right Thing to Do, and not anticipating that teenagers are smart and might have different ideas about what is best for them, and they might know better than adults. This book REALLY encourages reporting rape and talks about it like although it is harrowing, you'll feel better in the end and it's the right thing to do. Puke. I'd rather see the info presented as: Here are the facts and options; you decide what feels right/safe to you.
I'd also like to see repeated reiterations about how rape is the rapist's fault and his/hers alone. The self-defense section might leave a teenager thinking that if s/he learns the right moves, s/he can prevent rape! Gad.
Overall, I think the info is good, it's just the approach. It's too directive and oversimplified.
The cartoony sketches of "gurls" are all very standard-shaped (no one is fat, for example), and they are mostly a little punky. They avoided dealing with race by making the skin color whatever the page color was (and they are all very bright non-skin-tones).
Overall, this is something I'd be pretty comfortable handing to my
(hypothetical) daughter for us to discuss.
June 16, 2007
I love the drawings. Even though I am double the age of target audience I had a gurl page and I wanna be a gurl forever and hell it's information you're never too old for.
July 15, 2010
This is a nonfiction book written by contributors of the website gurl.com. I have not visited the website in years, I have no idea if it is still up and running or not, but I hope it is. This website was a safe haven for me as a teen. The book Deal With It! was what I always called my bible. I referred to it for anything. It was split up in sections about different things from dealing with your body, to your friends, to budgetting money. There is something in there to help all teen girls. What I loved about the book is that there were resources listed at the end of every section with helpful books, phone numbers for organizations, and websites. Reading this book always gave me a sense of comfort. I knew I was not the only one feeling the way that I was feeling because when I flipped through the pages of the book there was proof that my issues were popular enough to be written about. Also, this book was very accepting, in the sections on love, it explained about LGBT teens and it talked about acceptance. I have a good friend who is falls under one of those categories and I was glad to finally see the issue being brought to light in a postive manner.
I don't know if the book is still published, but I hope that it is. I lost my very battered, beat up copy years ago and I really wanted to hang onto it to pass to my daughter when she is a teenager. Times may change, but the issues stay the same and I know that she would find help in this book. I may have to look into getting a new copy. If you are a teen girl, or have a teen girl in your life- daughter, sister, cousin, niece, neightbor- I recommend going to the book store and picking up this book. It helped me so much as a teen and I know it can help many other girls out there.
I don't know if the book is still published, but I hope that it is. I lost my very battered, beat up copy years ago and I really wanted to hang onto it to pass to my daughter when she is a teenager. Times may change, but the issues stay the same and I know that she would find help in this book. I may have to look into getting a new copy. If you are a teen girl, or have a teen girl in your life- daughter, sister, cousin, niece, neightbor- I recommend going to the book store and picking up this book. It helped me so much as a teen and I know it can help many other girls out there.
August 28, 2014
As I haven't read this book in many years, I can't rate it in all fairness, but, working on my memory, I can leave some remarks about it.
I appreciate what the authors attempted with this book. What they did manage to accomplish was a book that provides a broader and less biased range of information to young women than what they are likely presented through the school system and arranged that information in such a way that it is appealing for their targeted audience. The graphics are now dated, but still striking. This book also goes beyond just the birds and bees and discusses other topics of interest to teens like drugs, managing money, dealing with friends and family, etc.
I agree with Tasha on some of the book's weaker points, however. There was a certain tone that cropped up every once in a while that irritated me. Certain subjects could have been treated with more care. More references could have been provided. Some information seemed to be missed or skimped over entirely.
One thing that surprises me with other reviewers is that everyone seems to agree that this book is for teenagers only. While some of the information presented about sexuality would definitely be more appropriate for a youth 13 and over, I am of the mind that information presented too early is much better than presented too late. At the age of 13 (when I first read this book), I was already past puberty and so much of the information about body development, etc., would have been given too late for me.
Overall, I would recommend this book as a starting point for young girls seeking information about their bodies, sexuality, and lives as young adults. But I would certainly encourage further exploration beyond this book.
I appreciate what the authors attempted with this book. What they did manage to accomplish was a book that provides a broader and less biased range of information to young women than what they are likely presented through the school system and arranged that information in such a way that it is appealing for their targeted audience. The graphics are now dated, but still striking. This book also goes beyond just the birds and bees and discusses other topics of interest to teens like drugs, managing money, dealing with friends and family, etc.
I agree with Tasha on some of the book's weaker points, however. There was a certain tone that cropped up every once in a while that irritated me. Certain subjects could have been treated with more care. More references could have been provided. Some information seemed to be missed or skimped over entirely.
One thing that surprises me with other reviewers is that everyone seems to agree that this book is for teenagers only. While some of the information presented about sexuality would definitely be more appropriate for a youth 13 and over, I am of the mind that information presented too early is much better than presented too late. At the age of 13 (when I first read this book), I was already past puberty and so much of the information about body development, etc., would have been given too late for me.
Overall, I would recommend this book as a starting point for young girls seeking information about their bodies, sexuality, and lives as young adults. But I would certainly encourage further exploration beyond this book.
April 7, 2013
I first read this book as a teenager. It is very informative and doesn't shy away from being specific on what happens to a growing girls changing body. This deals with the physical and mental changes that occur. A great read for a pre-teen girl or even a grown woman. Great for parents of a girl about to hit puberty. I think this will help parents talk to there growing daughters or if they are too shy/embarassed to tackle certain topics just give them this book. It covers a wide range of topics. Some of which are the transistion from girl to woman and what the body/mind goes through,sex, birth control options, pregnancy, rape, and so on. There are also plenty of websites and help lines listed so if you are a girl/woman reading it there are options to get help and more information if you need it and are to afraid too talk to your parents.
May 17, 2016
I remember my mom buying me this book when I was around 14. Best thing she ever did. Because of this books really cool and casual way of informing a young teen girl about her body, sex, masturbation, drugs, sexual orientation, even dating...I was so well informed as a teen. I remember not knowing what I was experiencing with my body was sexual desire...and that it was ok...and even tips on how to experience it! This book contained chapters dedicated to specific body parts and bringing up every embarrassing question EVERY young girl could have...it made me feel more secure about my body and that I wasn't just a freak. All I know is when and if I ever have a daughter she will be receiving a copy of this book.
December 17, 2014
Pretty amusing. We used to read this while everyone else watched horror movies in the other room. At the time, it was more information than I could get anywhere else, and more humorously and honestly put than I'd ever heard.
Having grown-up a bit, I realize that wasn't saying much. I'd love to see a book covering some of the same ideas (blowjobs, breast development, periods), but with fewer stereotypes (although lesbianism is mentioned, why do they never cover cunnilingus?). It seemed very focused on the average, vanilla, heterosexual, female. Which is lovely for people who fit those boxes, but not everyone does, and it can be little disheartening when a pre-teen informational book sticks to the basic squares.
Having grown-up a bit, I realize that wasn't saying much. I'd love to see a book covering some of the same ideas (blowjobs, breast development, periods), but with fewer stereotypes (although lesbianism is mentioned, why do they never cover cunnilingus?). It seemed very focused on the average, vanilla, heterosexual, female. Which is lovely for people who fit those boxes, but not everyone does, and it can be little disheartening when a pre-teen informational book sticks to the basic squares.
March 15, 2010
This book is amazing for any young teen growing up. It deals with many different issues ranging from a girls body, sex, friendship, despression, everything. It changed the way I felt about my body, friends, boys. I dont think any girl should go through life needs to read this book. Its clever. Has big pictures, fun facts, and a great way to make a girl understand about their body without having the embarrassing moments when you have to ask someone these deep and dark secerts. Believe me you will love this book. Check it out. Every girl needs to read it!
Read
July 27, 2011I think it was a great guide for teenage girls. Perhaps the "Sexuality" part of the book may have been too graphic for some younger girls (unless they're already experienced, which I hope not) but everything was very informative and unbiased (except for the opinions from the actual gurl.com users of course). I recommend this for any girl that's growing up and wants answers to hard questions they can't always ask an adult for.
March 18, 2008
This is a must-have for any adolescent girl. The authors polled girls on line to find their most pressing questions, and have answered them. The lovely artwork is also a plus - especially the vagina representations. It's done in a down-to-earth, easily referenced format that will undoubtably make many parents' lives easier!
August 26, 2011
A really fun, empowering guide to understanding the changes that girls' bodies go through. It's very frank and irreverent with acceptance for all kinds, types, orientations, preferences, what have you. I enjoyed it immensely and will look forward to recommending it to teens and to the future teens in my life.
July 26, 2016
Got this book as a pre-teen and loved it. I am thankful I had the answers to all of my embarrassing questions because I'd never have the courage to ask. Let's educate our kids on drugs, sex, self esteem, relationships... this kind of knowledge can be empowering to children going through a lot of confusing life changes.
April 21, 2025
It was such a great book for me as a teenager that I decided to keep a copy for my future children so they can get to know how it was being a teenager for me.
I flipped through my copy a few days ago and was actually surprised how some of the sections are still relevant, even though it was published 21 years ago!
I flipped through my copy a few days ago and was actually surprised how some of the sections are still relevant, even though it was published 21 years ago!
August 29, 2007
This book is awesome--I gave a copy to each of my 2 soon-to-be step sisters. Everything you've always wanted to know and really good answers.
November 27, 2007
Back in my younger uneducated years this book was amazing... Now, it's just an excellent reference book. It's got a little bit of everything.
Want to read
January 11, 2008I want to read this purely out of curiosity, but ugh!! I will be passing this book down to my daughter too soon. :(
August 1, 2008
This book is awesome. Perfect gift for a teenaged girl. I wish there were more books out like this when I was a teenager.
December 8, 2016
Loved this book. Great for the older teenage girl.
August 21, 2011
Essential reading for pubescent girls. This book offers advice on sex, bodies, mental health, and social well being. It was an invaluable resource for me when I was a teenager.
November 8, 2011
Could have been useful when I was in high school or even middle school
June 22, 2012
Great book for girls +11 or +12.
November 3, 2013
this was one of my favorites as a teenager. my parents found it and hid it from me for a while haha but i got it back. it's funny, interesting and has a lot of good advice!
July 14, 2014
Definitely every girl should have this book! I'm 25 and I still have the copy my mother brought me 13 years ago.
April 12, 2022
I was given this book during adolescence and it was such a good tool for me to figure out what was going on within and around me. I'm seriously thinking about giving it to my niece in a few years.
The format is forum-like and brings back the nostalgia of the old gurl.com site. I received this book in 2000 and surprisingly this book has held up in 2022. There are sections on your developing body with actual feedback from all different bodies so it isn't a cringey birds and bees conversation.
There are sections on each "base" of sexual experiences as well as sections like "what to expect at your first gynecologist visit", common substance terms and the effects they have (including common behavioral medications) as well as mental health resources.
My mom definitely didn't know what she was buying when she got me this. She told me she got it for the sections on friendship after I was going through a rough middle school phase. There definitely is mention of sex like how to give a blow job and sections on self-harm. But you can find it for like $5 on ebay or thrift books to preview before giving it to anyone.
The format is forum-like and brings back the nostalgia of the old gurl.com site. I received this book in 2000 and surprisingly this book has held up in 2022. There are sections on your developing body with actual feedback from all different bodies so it isn't a cringey birds and bees conversation.
There are sections on each "base" of sexual experiences as well as sections like "what to expect at your first gynecologist visit", common substance terms and the effects they have (including common behavioral medications) as well as mental health resources.
My mom definitely didn't know what she was buying when she got me this. She told me she got it for the sections on friendship after I was going through a rough middle school phase. There definitely is mention of sex like how to give a blow job and sections on self-harm. But you can find it for like $5 on ebay or thrift books to preview before giving it to anyone.
September 1, 2020
The BEST book for teenagers to learn about sex, dating, STDs, eating disorders, & etc. I loved this book when I was in middle school & I learned so much from it than health class. Every young girl needs this book.
July 9, 2019
Profoundly moving. An even pace of reading goes with the flow of information in a simple manner I personally enjoy reading. No spoilers. But helpful.
December 13, 2023
So, during quarantine, I was smoking a lot of pot, and remembered I had this book as a teenager. I'm 38 now. So I bought it on Amazon and man, this book is just as vibe as I remember it. Vibe AF.
December 21, 2023
I remember this being my bible as a young adolescent. I was looking for a copy for my daughter.
September 25, 2025
el primer libro que llegó a mis manos para descubrirte en el sexo y con tu intimidad. El mejor libro para una adolescente
Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews