The Birthday Party: A Memoir of Survival

by Stanley N. Alpert

A federal prosecutor recounts his harrowing experience of being kidnapped in 1998 on the eve of his thirty-eighth birthday by a gang of thugs who decided to hold him when they realized that he had a large bank balance, in a dramatic account that describes how he interacted with his abductors in order to stay alive and plot his escape.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, True Crime, Biography, Biography Memoir, Crime, Contemporary

306 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2007

About the author

Stanley N. Alpert served for thirteen years with the U.S. Department of Justice, as an Assistant U.S. Attorney for the Eastern District of New York, where he was Chief of Environmental Litigation. There, Alpert investigated, prosecuted and supervised many complex civil and criminal cases, some resulting in multi-million-dollar awards. He now runs The Alpert Firm in New York City, where he lives.

Reviews

[Holly · Rating 1 out of 5]

In The Birthday Party former federal prosecutor Stanley N. Alpert recounts his random kidnapping in 1998, in which he was held for 24 hours and then released; his abductors wanted only to withdraw money from his bank account. They targeted him because of his expensive-looking trench coat. He was treated well, as far as these things go, and released unharmed, but the experience was still harrowing. That much of the story is interesting. I'll give him that. But this is not a good book. It is poorly written, very poorly, and Alpert comes off as a whiny, chauvanistic, elitist snob, frequently mentioning the cost of personal items he owns and the large amount of money he made as a law-firm lawyer, neither of which were relevant to his abduction. Further, he spent a great deal of time talking about how important he was as a federal prosecutor. If I didn't work with federal judges and prosecutors on a regular basis, I might have bought that, but I do, and most of them are not as egomanical as Alpert comes off in the book. If Alpert would have stuck to the details of the crime and later the investigation without the personal details that appear only to self-aggrandize, it would have been a better book. Avoid this one.

[Bronwen · Rating 1 out of 5]

The story of Stanley N. Alpert's kidnapping ordeal would have been more interesting had it been told by a third party. In Stanley's version, he comes across as superior and smug, a generally unlikeable guy. I found myself more irritated with him than sympathetic to his situation. The Birthday Party is also not very well written. Stanley would have done well to employ the services of a better editor.

[Catherine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mmmmm, what to say... The first part [Mouse] is the account of the abduction of Stanley Alpert, Assistant United States Attorney, by some Manhattan street toughs who want to use his bank cards to get some easy cash. Realizing they can get more money if they hold him overnight, he spends a harrowing number of hours being held hostage while his captors have their way with his bank info. The second half [Cat] details the massive search effort that is begun when Alpert's friends realize he is missing, and the arrests & interrogations that follow.
*shrug* It reads like a thriller, but the self-satisfied way Alpert points out the numerous details he recalled which helped speed along the investigation.. eh, it didn't make me like him very much! Of course, I wanted him to make it okay and for the perps to end up behind bars, but it was a grudging thing! Also, cynical perhaps, the speedy investigation seemed entirely a matter of connections. Had he been an "Average Joe" I'm sure the search would have been given lessened priority. [I know, I know... just read the book!]

[Sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

An Assistant U.S. Attorney is kidnapped at gunpoint from the streets of Manhattan on his birthday. The kidnappers aren't sure what to do with him and how to drain his bank accounts without getting caught, so they hold him blindfolded for 26 hours in a dingy apartment with guns, drugs and prostitutes until finally deciding to let him go. The book is written by the victim, and he details his ordeal and the methods he used to survive. It's interesting, but although it surely was a terrible experience, the guy writing tries too hard to come across as unprivileged and tolerant of diversity, and instead comes across as kind of a tool.

[Nuzhat · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked it enough to finish, but it didn't keep me up turning the pages either. I know he is a smart guy, but he likes himself too much and that comes across, in my mind, arrogantly. Wonder where the guys who kidnapped him are today as their sentences should be finished.

[Krystianna Roe · Rating 3 out of 5]

The reason I gave this book 3 stars and not four was because I think he gave too many details of peoples lives that were irrelevant and made the story drag on.

[Katherine · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book chronicles the random abduction of the author, then a federal prosecutor, his nearly 24 hours with the men who abducted him and tried to steal his money, and the subsequent investigation and arrests of those men. The book is riveting, particularly in the first half when Alpert is with his captors, and, seemingly, told with all realism. The second half, during the investigation, dragged a bit - Alpert tells the story with a lawyer's thoroughness and attention to detail, sometimes forgetting which details are actually relevant and interesting and which are just details. At times, I was a little bit troubled by Alpert's self-analysis - I imagine it's difficult to write this kind of book and not be a little bit self aggrandizing - but overall, I thought his was a candid and captivating account.

[Renee · Rating 3 out of 5]

The day before the author's 38th birthday, he was kidnapped by a gang in mid town Manhattan. This is an iteresting story of his account.

[Tamara Evans · Rating 2 out of 5]

“The birthday party” is a memoir of survival in a nonfiction book about the kidnapping of a federal prosecutor and the subsequent prosecution of those kidnappers.

The memoir consists of two parts and a total of thirty-six chapters and begins with an author’s note in which the author (Stanley Alpert) tells the reader that the book is all true nonfiction and despite some quotes seeming outlandish and funny, the story happened as the he tells it. Although Alpert changed the names of some to protect the innocent and guilty, the names of the detectives and agents involved are real.

In part one, “Mouse,” the reader is transported to January 21, 1998 and on the night before Stanley Alpert’s thirty-eighth birthday, he is kidnapped off the streets of Manhattan. Early on in the book, Alpert shares his his childhood in Brooklyn, his eventual return to Brooklyn as an federal prosecutor environmental lawyer, his past failed blind dates and the situation that lead to his kidnapping.. The longer the kidnappers have Alpert in their possession, the more their plans of what to do with him changes from taking all his money to offering him food and weed, seeking legal advice, and offering him unusual birthday “presents.”

In part two, “Cat,” the investigation begins into Alpert’s kidnapping. As Alpert tries to return to his normal life by changing his bank accounts and social security number, he finds that he’s unable to relax due to worry of the kidnappers finding him at again. Eventually, the kidnappers and prostitutes are arrested and Alpert gets the closure he so desperately needs. The memoir closes with Alpert telling the reader to not wait until it’s too late to fulfill your dreams or tell people how you feel about them.

After finishing the book, the reader is left is awe of the ordeal that Alpert experienced as well as how calm he remained during the kidnapping and later trial. Overall, while the events presented are compelling at times, the book seemed much longer than necessary in reference to both Alpert’s kidnapping as well as the process to bring the kidnappers to justice.

[Ronnie Cramer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mr. Alpert has a great story to tell (he was kidnapped by a group of Brooklyn thugs), and does a decent job telling it, but he spends a fair amount of time patting himself on the back and I think that such praise would come across better from an third party.

[Ilana · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a kind of book I'd normally never pick up -- a first-person account by a New York federal prosecutor who was kidnapped by some low-level Brooklyn pimps and thugs who wanted to use his ATM and credit cards. He survived, and this is the story of his kidnapping and then the police investigation. As I said, it's not something I would normally pick up -- but my husband had met the author on a tour of Jewish environmental activists to Israel several years ago and thus had the book on his night table.

In any case, it was fascinating to have an inside view of this kind of crime and follow-up. Alpert tells the story reasonably well for a non-profiessional writer, and although it's not a source of deep psychological or social insight, it is indeed interesting as a true-crime story that is not a Scott Peterson, OJ Simpson crime-of-the-century but much more common although no less terrifying for the victim.

[Matt McNabb · Rating 2 out of 5]

Yes, Stan, I am sure it was a harrowing tale as you experienced it. But something is severely lacking in this book. And you come off as a bit of a closeted classist. They were reciting rap lyrics and you could't tell if you were being threatened? Do you often get threatened in a harmonious, albeit gruff, manner? Maybe I missed something. Maybe you omitted something, or could have told the story a bit better. This book was about 150 pages too long.

[Kyla · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.75? I'll give it points for readability. I'll take points off for swaggering ego (dear Stanley, there may lay the key to your Eternal Singleness), drawing a fairly slight tale out too long, and self-described heroics. Being robbed and held at gunshot is indeed frightening, but in the world of non-fiction, perhaps article frightening, not book frightening. You know?

[Susanne Bard · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book randomly showed up in my inbox at work, and I couldn't put it down until I had read every harrowing detail.

[Bob · Rating 4 out of 5]

Here's the (true) story of a U.S. district attorney kidnapped by a young street gang. He uses his wits to get out unscathed and capture the bad guys. A real page turner.

[Danita Digregorio · Rating 1 out of 5]

Omg. Such a horrible read. So much self promoting. Details not needed. Save yourself

[RICK "SHAQ" GOLDSTEIN · Rating 4 out of 5]

RICK “SHAQ” GOLDSTEIN SAYS: THE BIRTHDAY PARTY FROM HELL!!
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This is a certified true story, about a soon to be, 38 year old Assistant U.S. Attorney for the Eastern District Of New York, Stanley Alpert, who is kidnapped the night before his birthday. There are two distinctly different trends of emotions, running concurrently, throughout the heart of this story. One is absolute human terror, and the second is comical, if looked at with a split screen, once you realize, the end result, is that Stanley makes it out alive. (Since he wrote the book, I didn’t think I’d be giving away the ending, this early in my review!) The terror portion of the split screen, is the fact that Stanley, was taken at gunpoint off the streets of New York, at random. (Little did the kidnappers realize, that they took a government official of Stanley’s ranking, into their clutches.) The comical part, is that instead of the Keystone Cops, Stanley was taken by the “Keystone “Gangstuh’s”! These guys were so dumb, it was ridiculous. While they held Stanley captive, and blindfolded, they not only started asking him for legal advice, but they offered to let him have sex with their girl friend. Of course, that was after Stanley, (Blindfolded and bound.) had to listen to their sounds of carnal pleasure next to him first. Stanley’s mind was racing, throughout the entire ordeal, but he had to figure out, how to tell his armed captor’s, that no thanks, on the sex, without offending them. Stanley’s almost photographic memory of every sound, how many steps up, how many steps down, how long car trips took etc., was instrumental in the detective’s, and FBI finding the criminals after Stanley’s release. The intellectual humor, that was Stanley’s internal thought process, that was shared with the reader, during his entire ordeal is priceless, and what makes this book worth reading.

[Christine · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Every one of our days on earth contains a series of small adventures, or small threads that, when woven together, make up the fabric of our lives." (p. 164)
A day in the life of Stanley N. Alpert, federal attorney, accounted in this book, was, to say the least, more remarkable and adventurous than most. He was abducted at gunpoint by, to say the least, a bumbling gang that "could not shoot straight", the "Bad News Bears" of crime. That is not to say that it was not a psychologically horrifying experience. He was ultimately released, unharmed after 25 hours of captivity.
During that time, he kept his wits about him, and, as he recalls, "I was responding to their inquiries, a trial lawyer and street-smart kid giving the best performance of his life." (p. 58) He used his skills as a lawyer and negotiator to keep his dignity and form a bond of humanity with his captors...and a little comic relief helped him as well. "All my friendliness and respect were paying off... the comedy approach worked." (p.117)
Eventually his captors laughingly ask him to join their gang... in order to recommend enemies of his that they can kidnap and rob. They even mock themselves saying... "what's going on here? we give you food...we offer you weed...what kind of robbery is this anyway?!" (p.122)
Thank God that no harm came to Stanley. The unimaginable events deserved better telling. The book reads like a rejected Seinfeld script, and is about 100 pages too long. Alpert includes unnecessary descriptions of the accomplishments of minor characters and reminisces about events that have no bearing on the story. As a reader, I found them a distraction and therefore skipped over these passages.
2.5 stars rounded to 3 due to some memorable quotes, several good laughs and sincere admiration for Mr. Alpert's grace under pressure.

[Jessica · Rating 2 out of 5]

In short: Privileged boomer gets kidnapped and lives to tell the tale.

I can't believe I managed to finish this one. Stanley has a lot of cringey statements that are sexist and racist and elitist throughout the book. He talks about how he bootstrapped his way into his position as an assistant US attorney and seems really blind to a lot of his privilege, though he does weakly try to address that. He at one point talks about chasing skirts, he refers to a female FBI agent as a "pretty blonde, any man's dream" and later refers to another woman's appearance as 'sturdy.' At one point he says, "Sometimes cops get a bad rap and sometimes it's for a reason, but most of the time there's not." He does a lot of glorification of the federal government and how amazing the cops are. To Stanley, he fact that he got kidnapped and let go and then within 48 hours they had caught the teenagers who did it to him is a reflection of the competency of the New York City Police department in the FBI as much as it is because of his privileged status as an insider attorney general. I will say it's kind of a slice of life picture of what this New York City Jewish attorneys experience in life was like in the late '90s in New York City. There's something kind of interesting about that, but he's an insufferable Boomer that overall thinks he's a rather clever and cool guy. Also, it needed to be better edited and drags on in places when he's talking about how they caught the criminals. Oh, and I listen to it on audiobook from the library and it's also pretty painful to hear the white guy narrator put on a blaccent for the kidnappers' dialog.

[Mrs. Read · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked Stanley Alpert’s The Birthday Party a lot better than did the majority of other reviewers. Alpert does not come across as likable; he is too self-congratulatory about his legal victories against major polluters - significant, commendable, and irrelevant to the story he’s telling - and way too confident that it was his quick-thinking and adamantine self-control that saved him in a situation that could easily have led to his death. The latter belief is a typical example of the just-world fallacy (“So why did God decide to keep me alive? Was I kidnapped because of some horrible sin I had committed? Or, instead, was a decision made to pluck me out of the fires of hell because I had led a good life”), which is so horribly cruel to those whose loved ones have not escaped with their lives when random tragedy struck.*
With the forgoing defects, then why 4⭐️? Because it is a fascinating, near unbelievable story, and because it is a canary for those of us in the coal mine who know they deserve to be safe because they are educated and hard-working, and never just leave their clothes on the floor but always are sure to hang them up.

*that belief is not scriptural either; the Bible teaches that the wages of sin is death, ALL have sinned, and that the only hope for redemption is neither good deeds nor quick-wittedness, but rather acceptance of the ransom paid to free them

[Andrea · Rating 3 out of 5]

Probably the most enthralling memoir and piece of nonfiction I have ever read that did not include pictures. Extraordinary praise for this memoir is correct because while encapsulating the true story of the author's experiences it allowed for humor and a fast passed plot that did not get into the nitty-gritty details that nonfiction books often do.

This does lose a star though because while I understand this book is dedicated to one survivor in the back of my head I know the scene was only fast-paced because of the power and authority figure the author had. If it were anyone else of lower income or an independent individual, this would be another crime going unreported or filed into a box where there would be no light shed upon it for another decade unless evidence is found and becomes a cold case.

[Robin Ames · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was eager to read this first-person account of a kidnapping and the first couple hundred pages were intense. Once the is-he-gonna-live-or-is-he-gonna-die part ended (well, we know he lived... he wrote the book), the tale turned into a mish-mosh of irrelevant details about the judges involved in the proceedings and other minutiae that didn't move the story forward. I'd give the first half of the book five stars but the second... two. Hence, my 3-star rating. Still worth your time. It's a quick read. Add 1/2 a star if you're Jewish; I'm sure it's more interesting for those of us of the Hebraic persuasion!

PS I actually finished "The Birthday Party" today. On my birthday!!

[Anne Vandenbrink · Rating 3 out of 5]

Stanley is walking home at night in Manhattan when he is abducted at gun point by thugs. When they find out he's an attorney and has bucks they decide to hold him for a couple of days so they can use his atm and credit cards. This is his story of how he survives the ordeal. He's blindfolded on a mattress in a crash pad with thugs and whores. After he's let go, he describes the events to catch the criminals and how it affected his life afterwards. The book would have been better if he hadn't side tracked with stories of his past cases and other people in his life during this ordeal.

[Marilyn Sue Michel · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author comes off as one of those cocky New York dudes, but he did survive a harrowing experience. He even includes some tips on how to survive a kidnapping. Kidnappers are generally regarded as pathetic losers who don't really know what they are doing, therefore dangerous. Alpert claims most kidnap victims are never seen alive again. The kidnappers in this case are young (16 to 19), amoral, and not very energetic, which probably contributed to Alpert's survival. Educational read.

[Gena Lott · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was an enigma to me. The cover sites humor as a reason to read it. I saw no humor here.
Alpert notes his terror and distress in the latter part of the book, but the writing doesn't reflect those elements at all.
Full of facts about his job and side notes about prominent people and cases of the day, the story often gets plowed under by incidental information.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This real-life story is quite interesting. However, the writing and the authorial voice need improvement.

The best part of the book occurs near the end, in a chapter titled "Get What You Want." Here, the author discusses the changes he has made in his life after this experience, such as getting the dog that he has always wanted.

[Graham Barrett · Rating 2 out of 5]

Read this years ago when my dad gave up on it. It was an interesting read, I thought the details of the kidnapping were interesting and how the victim did his best to keep his head. The book loses steam after he's released and he also spent way too much time on details that weren't relevant to the case

[Janette · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good book. I vaguely remember when this happened, but never paid much attention to the event. I found it an interesting recounting of what Mr. Alpert went thru. Frankly, I'd say he's lucky to be alive and I'm glad the dirtbags who kidnapped him were caught and prosecuted. A well written book and worth the read.

[Amy · Rating 2 out of 5]

While the story is interesting, I agree with all of the other low star reviews in that the writing is not great. It's pretty uncouth to refer to the female FBI agents as blonde beauties. Irrelevant to the story, but definitely gives us an inkling as to why you can't land that wife and kids deal.

[Chris · Rating 3 out of 5]

After listening to a Malcolm gladwell podcast involving this book I was curious to know more about what happened to this guy. Young kids kidnap the author to try to get money from him. A plan doomed to fail.