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That Bird Has My Wings: The Autobiography of an Innocent Man on Death Row
That Bird Has My Wings is the astounding memoir of death row inmate Jarvis Masters and a testament to the tenacity of the human spirit and the talent of a fine writer. Offering scenes from his life that are at times poignant, revelatory, frightening, soul-stirring, painful, funny, and uplifting, That Bird Has My Wings tells the story of the author’s childhood with parents addicted to heroin, an abusive foster family, a life of crime and imprisonment, and the eventual embracing of Buddhism.
306 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 22, 2009
716 people are currently reading
15202 people want to read
About the author
Jarvis Jay Masters
8 books88 followersAn inmate at San Quentin since he was 19, JARVIS JAY MASTERS was moved to death row in 1990 (for alleged participation in the killing of a prison guard). Masters was converted to Buddhism several years later and has inspired the interest of leaders in the American Buddhist community. While in prison he wrote and published one book, Finding Freedom, as well as many articles which have appeared mostly in newspapers and Buddhist magazines. In 1992, Masters won a PEN Award for his poem, “Recipe for Prison Pruno.” Based on the lack of substantial evidence for Masters participation in the murder, in April 2008 the California Supreme Court ordered an evidentiary hearing, and Masters’ attorneys believe his conviction will be overturned within the year.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 555 reviews
August 26, 2014
So many times while reading this book, I had to stop and let my heart heal.
"Innocent" is not the right word to describe Jarvis Jay Masters. He is a casualty of a family and a care system so broken it would be no wonder if he murdered someone. Assault, theft, yes. He is guilty.
But he played no part in the crime that put him on death row, and that's where the pain of his imprisonment becomes almost too much to bear. That he was getting his life in order, finding his core through Buddhism, makes his wrongful conviction all the more heinous.
Follow his life in a tattered family, his love for his druggie mother, his hope and ultimate betrayal in the foster-care system, and understand the many beautiful children who end up surviving as best they can. Masters drew an impenetrable barrier around himself, but there were chinks in his armor. And those chinks gave him the spiritual strength to write this memoir.
"Innocent" is not the right word to describe Jarvis Jay Masters. He is a casualty of a family and a care system so broken it would be no wonder if he murdered someone. Assault, theft, yes. He is guilty.
But he played no part in the crime that put him on death row, and that's where the pain of his imprisonment becomes almost too much to bear. That he was getting his life in order, finding his core through Buddhism, makes his wrongful conviction all the more heinous.
Follow his life in a tattered family, his love for his druggie mother, his hope and ultimate betrayal in the foster-care system, and understand the many beautiful children who end up surviving as best they can. Masters drew an impenetrable barrier around himself, but there were chinks in his armor. And those chinks gave him the spiritual strength to write this memoir.
February 21, 2020
This memoir is well written, and reads much like a fictional story.
At an early age the author experiences the travesties of the family services system and the youth correctional system, which lands him in San Quentin prison by the age of 19, after a series of thefts, violence and armed robberies.
Removed from the care of their drug addicted mother and step father at the age of 4, Jarvis Jay Masters and his three siblings were placed in separate foster care homes. The first one he was placed in was very loving and caring and taught him a great deal about family values. There he was encouraged to be kind, thoughtful and provided reason to modify his learned behavior which would otherwise lead him astray. However, once removed from this elderly couples care, at still a very young age, Jarvis’ attitude and behavior really slid downhill.
Both the family services system and the juvenile correctional system encouraged Jarvis in a different direction. About eighty percent of the book is the back story to the death row period, as it provides his explanation for how he arrived there.
It is clear from the story that although Jarvis had opportunity to turn his life around, and for a while he successfully did that, the bullying, mistreatment, and violence he had suffered, and was taught at the hands of the systems, manifested itself in choices he made and the direction his life took. He admits to having taken the “easier” road of following the violence and bullying rather than turning away when given the choice.
The systems traumatically impacted Jarvis as a young boy and failed him despite his efforts to escape their hold. His eventual turn around occurs when Jarvis studies, adopts and implements a Buddhist lifestyle early into his prison sentence. It provided him the tools and will to survive without the violence. For that he should be commended. He remains incarcerated on death row for the death of prison guard he did not commit.
A well written but tragic life lesson.
At an early age the author experiences the travesties of the family services system and the youth correctional system, which lands him in San Quentin prison by the age of 19, after a series of thefts, violence and armed robberies.
Removed from the care of their drug addicted mother and step father at the age of 4, Jarvis Jay Masters and his three siblings were placed in separate foster care homes. The first one he was placed in was very loving and caring and taught him a great deal about family values. There he was encouraged to be kind, thoughtful and provided reason to modify his learned behavior which would otherwise lead him astray. However, once removed from this elderly couples care, at still a very young age, Jarvis’ attitude and behavior really slid downhill.
Both the family services system and the juvenile correctional system encouraged Jarvis in a different direction. About eighty percent of the book is the back story to the death row period, as it provides his explanation for how he arrived there.
It is clear from the story that although Jarvis had opportunity to turn his life around, and for a while he successfully did that, the bullying, mistreatment, and violence he had suffered, and was taught at the hands of the systems, manifested itself in choices he made and the direction his life took. He admits to having taken the “easier” road of following the violence and bullying rather than turning away when given the choice.
The systems traumatically impacted Jarvis as a young boy and failed him despite his efforts to escape their hold. His eventual turn around occurs when Jarvis studies, adopts and implements a Buddhist lifestyle early into his prison sentence. It provided him the tools and will to survive without the violence. For that he should be commended. He remains incarcerated on death row for the death of prison guard he did not commit.
A well written but tragic life lesson.
October 18, 2013
Absolutely amazing!!! A must read for all. One of the best books I've read this year and one of the best autobiographies I've ever read.
September 18, 2022
I didn’t know anything about this man until I saw this book was recommended by a favorite author. It is a heart wrenching description of the inhumanity and corruption in our foster and juvenile justice system; it was also beautiful in its depiction of imperfect love and family connections that sustain people ( and that are so often systematically devalued).
Despite these positives, the book did read like a bit of propaganda. After the detail included from his early life, the time at San Quentin, the ultimate incident that put him on death row, and his conversion to Buddhism were glossed over quickly making the transformation less believable for the reader. I didn’t expect a full litigation of his case for innocence, but the lack of discussion felt disingenuous and left me feeling suspicious and a little manipulated. I look forward to reading more about his case and story in other pieces and the podcast.
Despite these positives, the book did read like a bit of propaganda. After the detail included from his early life, the time at San Quentin, the ultimate incident that put him on death row, and his conversion to Buddhism were glossed over quickly making the transformation less believable for the reader. I didn’t expect a full litigation of his case for innocence, but the lack of discussion felt disingenuous and left me feeling suspicious and a little manipulated. I look forward to reading more about his case and story in other pieces and the podcast.
September 8, 2022
wow. such a moving and heart-wrenching story. Jarvis was a boy that was failed by every single system he came in contact with ever since he was a child. and even in the darkest moments when he landed on death-row after a wrongful conviction, seemingly the most hopeless place, he still found hope. i want to talk so much about how inspiring this is, how beautiful this story is, but the truth is it’s gruesome and painful and so awful. we rarely think about the circumstances in someone’s life when we think about drug addiction or gang violence. this book made me yearn for more compassion, for more kindness, because it’s really the smallest things the smallest interactions the smallest acts that matter the most for people. it goes such a long a way. people need people and we need to be kinder.
i don’t know what else to say, i think this is a book everyone should read
i don’t know what else to say, i think this is a book everyone should read
December 31, 2022
If you can think or every stereotype a young Black boy or man has heard and put it in a book, you must title it That Bird Has My Wings.
“Without anyone else having to know, I asked, how honest can I be with myself as I write all the scattered memories of my life? Can I do so without blame, with only a truth that has no place to go beyond these sheets of paper”?
There is often times when I wonder how much trauma can one endure and still find a way to heal. To get a slight glimpse into Jarvis life is completely saddening. You may not be a stranger to his upbringing and need to survive, no, but I was exhausted in the commonality of it all.
Jarvis upbringing is rough but there is love hanging on as his siblings and him are raised in a crackhouse by his mother, stepfather, and their addiction. 5 siblings ordered to not leave the house but instead, become accustomed to roaches and sleeping on pee’d stained mattresses in torn up, ragged clothing.
Although social services steps in and takes him and his siblings away, Jarvis childhood becomes a pattern of fear and safety until he just becomes immune to it all. His first encounter with safety was with his foster parents (The Prockses) who gave him a childhood until it was snatched away and his new foster parents abused him and others without reason. “It became a sport to see who had the biggest smile or the coolest walk after being hit or slapped by the Duponts. In short, we rated our own toughness according to the violence that we endured. The more we were abused the more we learned to tolerate the pain, and eventually we lost the cast of fear”.
His first seizure at 10 years old due to the death of Mamie’s (the foster mother who loved him), his first time running away at 10 years old
to ensure the harsh streets versus abuse, and his first time choosing where he would be place at 10 years old which is McLauren Hall which was viewed as a safe haven for children.
He started choosing places like Boys Town and the Vally Boys Academy over the potential danger of a foster family. He was hardened, trained to fight and lash out, to runaway, but you must understand that he is still a child and it gets worse. Reunited with his actually family and it gets worse. His mother remains an addict and yet her love is all he wants. The life of crime and hurt controls his teenage years until the system is no longer going to release him for petty crimes but instead, the man hunt for him sends him to prison.
“When I walked into San Quentin in 1981, I was nineteen years old”. In 1985, he found guilty of conspiracy to commit murder but the only inmate to sentenced to by lethal injection. In prison he become buddhists but it is not a solution but a journey that test patience and a sort of healing. The system failed Jarvis and continues to fail many more. How do we ask each other of so much but never see how broken we all are? I have only touched on this book and there is so much still but i’ll leave with this:
“Oh, affirmation to life, steady me: keep me balanced and poised. Cushion me. Lesson my load. Seat me upright in lotus posture, seeing only emptiness, not despair, I pray. Teach me your benefits, deep and simple. Benefit this injustice with a change of every heart. Affirm all reasons for being. Let every circumstance, in every—depth pain and joy both—bring to practice you, me, all beings. Let us affirm lifetimes to steady every breath, making peace—and peacemaking—the companion to every heart”. - Jarvis
“Without anyone else having to know, I asked, how honest can I be with myself as I write all the scattered memories of my life? Can I do so without blame, with only a truth that has no place to go beyond these sheets of paper”?
There is often times when I wonder how much trauma can one endure and still find a way to heal. To get a slight glimpse into Jarvis life is completely saddening. You may not be a stranger to his upbringing and need to survive, no, but I was exhausted in the commonality of it all.
Jarvis upbringing is rough but there is love hanging on as his siblings and him are raised in a crackhouse by his mother, stepfather, and their addiction. 5 siblings ordered to not leave the house but instead, become accustomed to roaches and sleeping on pee’d stained mattresses in torn up, ragged clothing.
Although social services steps in and takes him and his siblings away, Jarvis childhood becomes a pattern of fear and safety until he just becomes immune to it all. His first encounter with safety was with his foster parents (The Prockses) who gave him a childhood until it was snatched away and his new foster parents abused him and others without reason. “It became a sport to see who had the biggest smile or the coolest walk after being hit or slapped by the Duponts. In short, we rated our own toughness according to the violence that we endured. The more we were abused the more we learned to tolerate the pain, and eventually we lost the cast of fear”.
His first seizure at 10 years old due to the death of Mamie’s (the foster mother who loved him), his first time running away at 10 years old
to ensure the harsh streets versus abuse, and his first time choosing where he would be place at 10 years old which is McLauren Hall which was viewed as a safe haven for children.
He started choosing places like Boys Town and the Vally Boys Academy over the potential danger of a foster family. He was hardened, trained to fight and lash out, to runaway, but you must understand that he is still a child and it gets worse. Reunited with his actually family and it gets worse. His mother remains an addict and yet her love is all he wants. The life of crime and hurt controls his teenage years until the system is no longer going to release him for petty crimes but instead, the man hunt for him sends him to prison.
“When I walked into San Quentin in 1981, I was nineteen years old”. In 1985, he found guilty of conspiracy to commit murder but the only inmate to sentenced to by lethal injection. In prison he become buddhists but it is not a solution but a journey that test patience and a sort of healing. The system failed Jarvis and continues to fail many more. How do we ask each other of so much but never see how broken we all are? I have only touched on this book and there is so much still but i’ll leave with this:
“Oh, affirmation to life, steady me: keep me balanced and poised. Cushion me. Lesson my load. Seat me upright in lotus posture, seeing only emptiness, not despair, I pray. Teach me your benefits, deep and simple. Benefit this injustice with a change of every heart. Affirm all reasons for being. Let every circumstance, in every—depth pain and joy both—bring to practice you, me, all beings. Let us affirm lifetimes to steady every breath, making peace—and peacemaking—the companion to every heart”. - Jarvis
May 20, 2023
Great
This is an outstanding and well written book.
We get an insiders look at what it takes to become a gang member in LA. I felt really sad for the plight of Jarvis during the beginning of the book but my feelings changed as he matured and did dangerous things.
I highly recommend this book and think that regardless of the violence, it is very much worth the read.
I recommend.
This is an outstanding and well written book.
We get an insiders look at what it takes to become a gang member in LA. I felt really sad for the plight of Jarvis during the beginning of the book but my feelings changed as he matured and did dangerous things.
I highly recommend this book and think that regardless of the violence, it is very much worth the read.
I recommend.
March 3, 2022
This book was recommended by one of my favourite Canadian folk and blues musicians, Rob Lutes. Rob was so affected by Jarvis’s story he wrote the song “That Bird Has My Wings” and included it on his latest album “Come Around”. It’s a good song and a great album.
I was impressed by the quality of the writing from someone with limited formal education and a lifetime spent in institutions. It’s an autobiography that reads like a novel.
There is no doubt Jarvis had a very tough childhood. Removed from the squalor of his drug-addicted mother’s home, separated from his siblings and sent to a series of foster homes and institutions, he floundered through life, making one bad decision after another.
Jarvis is not an innocent man; he lead a life of violent crime. However, whether or not he is innocent of conspiracy in the murder of a prison guard is impossible to judge from his story. While he goes into minute detail of many aspects of his life, he barely touches on the killing, for which he is on death row.
Jarvis is a gifted story-teller. Although the jury is still out on whether all his stories are completely true, I admire him for writing this book and embracing Buddhism. I hope his story brings attention to a badly broken foster care system.
I was impressed by the quality of the writing from someone with limited formal education and a lifetime spent in institutions. It’s an autobiography that reads like a novel.
There is no doubt Jarvis had a very tough childhood. Removed from the squalor of his drug-addicted mother’s home, separated from his siblings and sent to a series of foster homes and institutions, he floundered through life, making one bad decision after another.
Jarvis is not an innocent man; he lead a life of violent crime. However, whether or not he is innocent of conspiracy in the murder of a prison guard is impossible to judge from his story. While he goes into minute detail of many aspects of his life, he barely touches on the killing, for which he is on death row.
Jarvis is a gifted story-teller. Although the jury is still out on whether all his stories are completely true, I admire him for writing this book and embracing Buddhism. I hope his story brings attention to a badly broken foster care system.
September 19, 2022
Obviously the child welfare system failed this young man terribly. However, Jarvis terrorized many innocent people before going to prison. He generally skips over the facts and trial that landed him on death row. I would have liked to know why he felt he could call himself innocent of killing a guard.
March 15, 2023
Everyone should have this book on their book shelf! It was right up there with The Sun Does Shine for me!
It was an honor to read about the life of Jarvis Masters in his own words. At no point does he make himself out to be the victim of his childhood experiences. He acknowledges the hurt he has caused for so many. BUT to be clear… it is impossible to read his words and not draw a direct connection between his childhood and ending up in San Quentin. There is not a doubt in my mind that his experiences growing up funneled him directly into the prison system.
This book challenges the idea that our prison system is made up of the worst of the worst. The adults in his life and the foster care system continuously failed Jay Masters. I’m by no means excusing his actions but I’m confident that if he had even an ounce of the support I had growing up he wouldn’t be sitting on death row. It’s heartbreaking to know his story isn’t the outlier.
THE FOSTER CARE SYSTEM IS FAILING THE VERY INDIVIDUALS IT IS MEANT TO SERVE . But that’s a soapbox for a different day.
The book itself is incredible. Even more incredible when you think about the fact Jarvis Masters wrote the entire thing from his tiny cell at San Quentin. I can’t recommend it highly enough!!!
It was an honor to read about the life of Jarvis Masters in his own words. At no point does he make himself out to be the victim of his childhood experiences. He acknowledges the hurt he has caused for so many. BUT to be clear… it is impossible to read his words and not draw a direct connection between his childhood and ending up in San Quentin. There is not a doubt in my mind that his experiences growing up funneled him directly into the prison system.
This book challenges the idea that our prison system is made up of the worst of the worst. The adults in his life and the foster care system continuously failed Jay Masters. I’m by no means excusing his actions but I’m confident that if he had even an ounce of the support I had growing up he wouldn’t be sitting on death row. It’s heartbreaking to know his story isn’t the outlier.
THE FOSTER CARE SYSTEM IS FAILING THE VERY INDIVIDUALS IT IS MEANT TO SERVE . But that’s a soapbox for a different day.
The book itself is incredible. Even more incredible when you think about the fact Jarvis Masters wrote the entire thing from his tiny cell at San Quentin. I can’t recommend it highly enough!!!
May 8, 2024
Wow. Just wow. Truly shows what a messed up foster care system we have and that placing children in the wrong hands can set their lives up for a world of poor decisions, pain, and horrible consequences.
January 10, 2023
I was really liking this immediately but then it became far too long in the middle. I was keen to discover how he ended up on death row, and as others have said it was totally glossed over- unlike all the other tiny details of his life prior to the event. Disappointed by that.
June 9, 2025
If Opera suggested this book, I think that means everyone should read it lol. As ive said before death row memoirs and memoirs written by incarcerated individuals are my favorite books to read. This one was written extremely well and my heart broke for Jarvis every step of the way. He was dealt a horrible hand in life since childhood and for him to still find light in all the darkness throughout his life and incarceration, it truly shows that his soul embodies hope, faith and forgiveness.
December 29, 2013
I could not put this book down. It is the memoir of a death row inmate who becomes a Buddhist meditating in his cell every day. But we don't hear those stories until about 80% of the book has passed. Most of it is about his childhood as a foster kid struggling to survive. We see how he slowly hardens his heart as more difficult circumstances come his way. No doubt he - and all children who face such things - deserved much better than he got... And yet he did have love, compassion and wise folks in his life... Though not enough of them. He deserved a much better childhood.
I am so glad I read this book! Am supporting the anti-death penalty cause, as NH has a real shot at eliminating it... If so, it will become the 19th state to do so. The death penalty is simply barbaric.
I am so glad I read this book! Am supporting the anti-death penalty cause, as NH has a real shot at eliminating it... If so, it will become the 19th state to do so. The death penalty is simply barbaric.
October 24, 2022
I feel as though this story had some highly embellished parts. The author spent 7/8 of the book telling (just from memory) every teeny, tiny detail of his horrific childhood but literally only spent 2 seconds glossing over the murder that landed him on death row. That takes away from his credibility and believability. The book almost appeared as his testimony in court of his innocence and that he is trying to convince people he is innocent Oh Yes …he was without a doubt a victim growing up. He suffered and was abused however I’m not 100% convinced it was at the levels he describes. The title of his book should have been “my childhood under a messed up foster care system” and not that he’s an innocent man.
September 14, 2023
This book was so hard to read at times because it’s such a gut wrenching, sad story. It really shows how broken the justice and foster care systems are, and how many children are set up for failure. I loved to see Jarvis’s personal growth and how he’s found his own form of peace despite being wrongfully convicted.
October 23, 2022
This is a great book. It was well written and all throughout reading it, I couldn’t help but wonder, how many others are innocent, victims of a system that is in need of repair, and just need a chance..
March 18, 2024
Such a heartbreaking yet beautifully written book. As it went on I had to constantly remind myself that throughout most of the book, Jarvis was a CHILD… younger than the kids I teach each day. Jarvis was failed by the system (like many children are) yet he maintained hope and spirit through it all. Best book I’ve read this year
November 3, 2022
this was absolutely stunning, heart wrenching, eye opening, and extremely poignant. this should be required reading for every human being. this was one of oprah’s book club picks and I am so grateful to her for bringing awareness to jarvis’ reality. we need to get this man, and so many others like him, off of death row and into the light.
July 5, 2023
Overall good book. Your heart will break for Jarvis and everything he has endured. However, I feel like the book focused a lot on his childhood and glossed over the events that led to him getting put on death row. I would’ve liked the book to have focused more on how he ended up wrongfully convicted.
February 17, 2023
this was incredibly well written, beautifully honest and heartbreaking. made me sob. so so so good
August 15, 2023
a book that i will probably think about for a long time. this book made me rethink what i’m doing with my life, how privileged i am, and how important it is to me to be doing something for the greater good. reading about how institutions like foster care and juvenile detention can harden a child was heartbreaking and devastating yet eye opening. i would have liked to learn more about Jarvis’ buddhist practices in prison, and i also would’ve wanted to hear more about how Jarvis’ family ended up. nonetheless, still a super poignant and moving autobiography that exposes the weaknesses of the welfare, foster care, prison, etc systems in the united states
August 30, 2023
WOW.
Jarvis Jay Masters has one INSANE story.
Honestly don't feel as if I can fully describe this book. You just have to experience it. Really thought-provoking on the decisions of wrong and right and what happens when those birthed into untimely and unfortunate circumstances continue on that path.
I did think much more of this story would focus on his time in prison but was absolutely okay with reading more of the back story.
Great read - another Oprah's Book Club pick that convinced me to pick up!
Jarvis Jay Masters has one INSANE story.
Honestly don't feel as if I can fully describe this book. You just have to experience it. Really thought-provoking on the decisions of wrong and right and what happens when those birthed into untimely and unfortunate circumstances continue on that path.
I did think much more of this story would focus on his time in prison but was absolutely okay with reading more of the back story.
Great read - another Oprah's Book Club pick that convinced me to pick up!
July 11, 2022
This is such an important read, I believe it gave me further insight into what people of colour deal with within the justice system which is something that I am very passionate about. The fact that Jarvis is still on death-row to this very day, with absolutely no substantial evidence speaks for itself.
July 3, 2024
A remarkable true story that emphasizes how broken our foster care and judicial system are. Heartbreakingly sad but an incredible read.
November 22, 2022
Really great autobiography from a man on death row at San Quentin, detailing his childhood challenges with the foster care system leading to his participation in armed robberies. It’s a heavy read but Masters is a great writer.
Could I put it down? Yes
Did I learn something? Yes
Would I recommend? Yes
Could I put it down? Yes
Did I learn something? Yes
Would I recommend? Yes
January 25, 2024
Heartbreaking story of his childhood but definitely glossed over the reason he’s on death row
February 24, 2025
This is one of the most powerful books I've read in the last few years. Jarvis' story tore at my heartstrings, and there were times where I had to pause to stop listening because my heart broke for him. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who has an interest in the justice system in America.
August 18, 2025
I like memoirs/autobiographies. I find it interesting to hear the author's stories told in their own voice. The only issue I have with them sometimes is that they are not always grounded in truth and facts, but rather the author's perceptions of such. But Jarvis has an interesting voice and I really appreciated hearing his truths as he felt them. It was a good listen.
January 9, 2023
Devastating life story. I don’t believe people are doomed from birth, but we certainly are products of our environments. Jay speaks to this every time he has to choose between doing/living better or returning to his toxic family and friends and - it’s an internal fight that he never learned how to fight and win. Not once did he blame his mother or family for the decisions he made to get to where he is. Jay mentions that he was never addicted to drugs, but it seems he did have an addiction. A love addiction —he needed to be loved, wanted, accepted and validated by his biological family.
Unfortunately society has become numb to this scenario, we all know the story. I gave the book 3 stars because it is the same sad story. The Hollywood movie, the latest podcast, newest series, etc.
Unfortunately society has become numb to this scenario, we all know the story. I gave the book 3 stars because it is the same sad story. The Hollywood movie, the latest podcast, newest series, etc.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 555 reviews