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Harry Stein #1

Stein, Stoned

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A Harry Stein Soft-Boiled Murder Mystery!

In the sixties, Harry Stein was the foremost authority on cannabis; writing the book on indoor cultivation, inventing thirteen different hybrids, and planting “Victory Gardens” across America behind police precincts, legislature courtyards, and legendarily in the rose garden of the Nixon White House.

Flash forward to the 20th anniversary of John Lennon’s death and Stein is now employed by a “product liability re-insurance firm” and spending his 50th birthday counting a warehouse full of shampoo bottles. Although not the revolutionary of the future he once imagined himself to be, staying on the path of the straight and narrow allows Stein to keep that which he holds most precious in his life: joint custody of his teenage daughter, Angie. When Stein comes up 1,000 shampoo bottles short in his count and his investigations lead him to stumble upon the body of a brutally murdered supermodel, he is forced down a trail littered with old friends, new enemies, and one final journey into the world he long since left behind

260 pages, Paperback

First published July 15, 2010

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Hal Ackerman

13 books4 followers

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5 stars
14 (15%)
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23 (24%)
3 stars
33 (35%)
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12 (12%)
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Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews
Profile Image for Katy.
1,293 reviews309 followers
October 31, 2012
Book Info: Genre: “Soft-boiled” mystery/Humorous Mystery Reading Level: Adult

Disclosure: I picked up a free copy of this book when it was on promotion on Amazon, then received the 2nd book in the series free from Amazon Vine in exchange for an honest review. As I result, I’ve decided to go ahead and review this book, too.

Synopsis: In the sixties, Harry Stein was the foremost authority on cannabis; writing the book on indoor cultivation, inventing thirteen different hybrids, and planting “Victory Gardens” across America behind police precincts, legislature courtyards, and legendarily in the rose garden of the Nixon White House.

Flash forward to the 20th anniversary of John Lennon’s death and Stein is now employed by a “product liability re-insurance firm” and spending his 50th birthday counting a warehouse full of shampoo bottles. Although not the revolutionary of the future he once imagined himself to be, staying on the path of the straight and narrow allows Stein to keep that which he holds most precious in his life: joint custody of his teenage daughter, Angie. When Stein comes up 1,000 shampoo bottles short in his count and his investigations lead him to stumble upon the body of a brutally murdered supermodel, he is forced down a trail littered with old friends, new enemies, and one final journey into the world he long since left behind

My Thoughts: I must mention that, if I had spoken to my parents when I was 15 like Angie speaks to her father, I’d have been grounded for months. If she seemed to have some redeeming traits, I’d be inclined to be a bit more forgiving, but she acts like a spoiled brat – getting the dog a present and ignoring her father’s birthday?? On the other hand, I don’t see as Stein has much of a leg to stand on about being upset upon finding a stash of ditch-weed in the house... One thing that bothers me is when parents act like they were perfect – for instance bragging up how wonderful they were when they were their age – when in fact they had the same sorts of problems you have had. I find it much more relateable if they admit they were less than perfect and that’s why they want better for their children. But that’s just a personal trigger that was pushed in the early part of this book...

Another trigger was brought about by Stein’s first murder scene. Instead of backing out, leaving stuff as it was, and calling the cops, he went in, cut down the victim, moved her, cleaned up the mess, went through her stuff, called a friend on her phone … Admittedly, there weren’t quite the plethora of crime-scene shows in 2000, but still, anyone with any common sense knows to leave stuff alone so the cops can solve the crime.

...And that was about the point where I realized I could not finish this book. This guy is Too Stupid To Live and I believe I would end up pulling out my hair if I read any more. Did not finish; did not toss across the room because I value my Kindle, but I do believe I’ll be skipping the sequel, too; never mind that it’s a Vine book; I can leave 20 percent unreviewed. Maybe some day I’ll be feeling tolerant and will try, but for now? Ugh – not recommended at all.
Profile Image for Carmen.
1,794 reviews2,443 followers
April 29, 2015
This book has a lot of problems.

Stein is a lovable, bumbling sort. He's a former pothead, a Pot King, really - who wrote a whole book about growing and selling pot, did some anti-government protesting, generally Fought the Man in a sort of justified haze. But when his wife, Hillary, stopped loving him and asked for a divorce, he renounced all drugs and his old lifestyle in order to retain partial custody of his beloved daughter, Angie.

One day a little baggie of pot appears in his mailbox. Apparently a local grower had a huge shipment of high-quality pot stolen. This serves to get Stein back into this world that he's studiously avoided for 6 years or so.

The 'mystery' in this book, or I should say 'mysteries', are not very good. Ackerman chooses to call this a 'soft-boiled mystery', and for the most part he does keep it soft - except for the one very disturbing murder.

One mystery involves shampoo. Yes, you read that right. In his 'clean-up-my-life' decision, Stein decided to work at a shampoo-packing warehouse. This is very expensive, famous shampoo. Shampoo so expensive and famous that criminals apparently can make lots of money by just stealing the empty bottles and selling 'whatever' and saying it's the shampoo. This whole plot is mind-numbingly dull. The only thing that makes it urgent is that the shampoo model, a gorgeous redhead, is drowned to death in a most horrifying way. But this single, graphic moment doesn't fit in with the rest of the book. But it does give Stein ample motivation to get to the bottom of this. He met the woman only once, briefly, but seemed to think she was a goddess who walked the earth.

The second mystery involves the missing pot. This mystery has Stein travelling to Amsterdam, re-entering his old druggie world, and catching up with people who knew and loved him in (what seems to him) a past life. And smoking pot again, which leads to him doing some supremely life-endangering things. Again, not very interesting.

So. We have two boring mystery angles. Why would I give this two stars and not one? Well, I have two reasons.

1.) I liked Stein. He was an affable, clueless, happy, stumbling guy and I felt a kind of amused affection watching him grope around trying to figure out what the heck was going on. He has no real love interest in this book. He obviously wants to have sex with a good number of characters, but not in a predatory or obnoxious way. He 'goes with the flow' in all areas of his life, including women.

We have: a.) the model - a super-gorgeous woman that Stein has no chance with, but he is in awe every time he sees her and nearly has a heart attack if she even picks a piece of lint from his sweater. b) The hot ex-model next door neighbor - who is ostensibly writing a book about Stein (she names her character Klein), and therefore always coming over to 'pick his brain.' She also really seems to want to sleep with him. Stein takes all this in a sort of good-natured befuddlement. c.) Lila, Stein's long-suffering quasi-girlfriend who is very much in love with him. He, however, doesn't feel the same about her. I mean, he thinks she's fine for a roll in the hay or three but he just doesn't feel any emotional attachment to her. He's honest with her about this, and cares for her and doesn't want to hurt her. But since she's around to call whenever he gets in trouble/needs a ride/needs childcare - she gets stepped-on. She's always there for him to bail him out and he obviously relies on her heavily. She gets nothing in return. No hot sex, no kissing, no love, nothing. But she keeps doing it, anyway.

Stein never actually 'gets lucky' with any of these women. Instead, Ackerman decides to have him be interrupted, just in the nick of time, more than once.

Stein is a good guy. He is respectful of the women in his life, whether it's the hot model he worships or his own daughter. Even Lila, who gets the short end of the stick - Stein is always upfront with her and doesn't want to screw around with her emotions. I liked to see how he treated them. For example, he is respectful of his daughter's room. He never enters it without knocking and getting permission to enter. This may seem like a small thing, but oftentimes parents don't respect their kid's right to privacy and autonomy. There's even a small scene where he's confronted with the fact that his daughter (who is 16ish) might no longer be a virgin and he takes it with good grace and good sense. He doesn't freak out, he doesn't rush to punish her. Instead, he realizes that she's becoming an adult and trusts her to have the sense to make good decisions. Even his annoying, judgmental ex-wife, Hillary, is treated with a benevolent tolerance and compassion.

He loves his tiny, aged terrier. The animal can't wait to go outside to do his business anymore, and Stein lovingly takes care of the dog and worries about it. It was clear they were friends for many years and it breaks Stein's heart to see his little friend so broken and old.

I was very happy with his behavior overall, in this book.

2.) Ackerman makes some witty observations about life and human nature in this book. Stein pokes fun at both other people and himself. I even laughed out loud once.

I couldn't bear to give it just one star. It had some good ideas, a likeable protagonist, and it made some funny, wry observations about life. However, the grammatical, spelling, and printing mistakes were atrocious. I don't know if an editor even saw this book. Seriously. Huge, obvious flaws. Missing punctuations. Even spelling "Stein" wrong, once. As "Stin." o.O
Profile Image for Sophie.
88 reviews28 followers
May 16, 2012


Two related puzzles...a bit of confusion regarding how they were connected (at least in this reader) a protagonist about ten years younger than me but with enough experience of the 1970s' sex, weed, rock and roll, weed....oh and did I mention weed? I could relate to this guy, trying to man up to responsibly parent his 15 year old daughter, but kind of a loser nonetheless. Gainfully employed by an insurance company but still living with a longstanding reputation for breeding/ creating some of the best bud ever. Here's the first puzzle: a younger man who had taken up Harry's swan song to produce for terminally ill patients has his entire crop stolen. he begs Harry to help him locate it, but responsible Harry at first says no. The lesser puzzle concerns about a thousand missing shampoo bottles, part of a nation wide publicity and marketing program/scam. I won't say much more. There are a few twists and turns you don't see coming, but no gratuitous characters or events. I liked it. I started it because of the weed.
Profile Image for Clifford.
Author 16 books377 followers
July 8, 2013
Described as a "soft-boiled" mystery, this book definitely doesn't take itself too seriously. Harry Stein, a former pot aficianado, gets himself involved in three mysteries at once. They're all a little far-fetched, but that's what the suspension of disbelief is all about. The point is that Stein is turning 50 and isn't really happy about where his life is at the moment. Chasing down leads and facing a little danger is just what he needs!

I'm no mystery fan, but this was a fun, quick read.
Profile Image for Darcia Helle.
Author 30 books741 followers
August 16, 2014
I had this book floating around my Kindle for a couple of years, lost in the chaos of too many downloads. I was intrigued by the plot, so my lack of attention had nothing to do with disinterest. I mention this only because my copy shows as being published in 2010, whereas the Amazon copy (same cover) claims the publishing year as 2013. I noticed this because it's not showing up as a verified purchase. So it's possible the book has been edited since the first release, though I have to assume the major content remains the same.

The book started with promise. I liked Stein's character. He's an aging hippie, once the epitome of "pothead", who is now trying to raise his daughter responsibly. While I liked the premise and his character, the story quickly fell apart me for. One major problem area came with characterization. All the women in this book are spineless and/or crazy, acting like lunatics and willing to do anything for Stein, despite receiving little to nothing in return. Well, aside from his domineering and controlling ex-wife, who is the complete opposite of all the other women. Then we have the gay men, who are part of the major plot. Their characters are completely stereotypical. Rather than comical, as I think they are meant to be, it feels like a bad sitcom.

This brings us to the plot - or plots. There are really two storylines here. The major plot is about the theft of shampoo bottles. Having spent many years in the hair business, I know all about the importance of labels and name brands. But, even with that knowledge, this plot was over-the-top, bordering on silly. Also, the suspense and intended twists wind up an overly complicated mess. There is a murder, with graphic content that feels out of place in this otherwise kind of comic relief story. Without offering spoilers, I'll just say that Stein's part in this feels forced and his emotional investment unrealistic.

The secondary plot is about the missing pot, and that was initially far more interesting. Sadly, that storyline took a turn into the absurd. In both cases, Stein appears to be the only person able to solve the problems for these complete strangers.

While the story has moments that shine, and parts did make me laugh, overall it lacked depth and was too ridiculous to take seriously.
Profile Image for Johnny.
Author 28 books280 followers
December 23, 2010
A solid addition to the private eye genre and a series that all interested readers should keep their eye on.

The book's greatest strength is Stein, himself. The character is fully developed, flawed, and unique to the genre. He steps beyond archetype and feels human. While the other characters drop a little more into familiarity, Stein holds it all together.

The first half of the book works a little better than the end, but that's nitpicking and probably just personal preference. I tend to be drawn to stories that are grounded more firmly in reality, and the back half of this book gets a little big and over-the-top for my taste, putting intimacy aside for spectacle.

No fault to the author, I wish this book had been copy edited and proofed a little better. There are dozens of typos and misspellings which could have been avoided with a little more diligence from the publisher.

Fun first book in what should prove to be a fun series.
Profile Image for Tracy Barton.
562 reviews
March 26, 2013
I thought this was just okay... as a mystery, it really didn't have me on the edge of my seat... as a book about drugs, I wasn't really impressed with the intricate descriptions of the fantastic stolen "orchids" (I mean, these were INTRICATE descriptions, but... snooze-fest!).... as an overall book, I was somewhat disappointed in the writing... There were a lot of errors (grammatical, spelling, other typos, etc.), and really, I just couldn't get into the flow of the story. It wasn't what I'd expected at all.
However, if I recall, it was a freebie download to my Kindle, so I'm not really wanting to complain too much. Not the worst thing I've ever written, and I did find some enjoyment in reading it.
Profile Image for Lynn.
23 reviews
February 24, 2012
The story, itself, was pretty good but I had real problems making it through all the grammatical, typographical and/or spelling errors. I read this on my Nook so I am not sure if just the e-edition is poorly edited or if the original hard copy was also so but it definitely affected my thoughts on the book.
Profile Image for grundoon.
623 reviews12 followers
December 7, 2013
If strong resolution to mystery is important, you'll be sorely disappointed. But by all means do come for the other 90% - the characters and dialog in this counterculture romp more than make up for shortcomings elsewhere. About the only thing preventing me from immediately starting in on the follow-up is wanting to savor the anticipation. Truly a pleasure!
Profile Image for Bridget.
574 reviews141 followers
August 10, 2010
I loved this book! I am fascinated with stoners which is why I wanted to review this book in the first place. I had no idea that the author would suck me in and then, when I turn the last page, spit me out. I hope Hal has many more books like this one up his sleeve.
Profile Image for Cheryl Davitz.
135 reviews5 followers
May 3, 2012
I liked this story. It was different. I liked the humerous conversations. Harry Stein it is an interesting character. A 70's guy in a 90's world. (In this book Clinton is still president and he is awaiting Gore to be president.)I can't wait to read the next one!
5 reviews
April 14, 2012
Fun romp with great characters. Author is very facile with dialogue which keeps story pace-y and chuckle inducing. One of my top 3 reads in the last year. Will definitely look for more titles from this talented scribe.
Profile Image for Jennifer.
347 reviews
July 10, 2012
I hate quitting a book when I'm halfway through, but I just couldn't stand it any more. There were a lot of characters that popped up from the protagonist's past which made the book feel more like a spin-off to a series which has already ended. It was too much for me to keep track.
Profile Image for ellen.
10 reviews
March 21, 2017
Great book could have finished in one day but had to sleep
Profile Image for Phillip Frey.
Author 14 books24 followers
May 14, 2012
Mr. Ackerman did a wonderful job of melding humor, parenthood, sleuthing - and murder, into a very entertaining book. I highly recommend it.
258 reviews
June 15, 2013
Lightweight, a little short, and occasionally a bit too chuffed with itself, nonetheless an enjoyable-enough read. Might stick around for #2.
Profile Image for Josh.
25 reviews8 followers
May 25, 2014
I'm relatively certain you'd have to be a stoner to enjoy this book. Being stoned while reading it probably would have helped.
4,100 reviews86 followers
November 13, 2014
Stein, Stoned : “A Harry Stein Mystery” by Hal Ackerman (Tyrus Books 2010) (Fiction). Damn!! From the title I was really looking forward to this book. Unfortunately, though, once inside I found truly awful purple prose. I couldn't get past the writing to enjoy the story. DNF (Did Not Finish). My rating: 1/10, finished 2012.
Profile Image for Elizabeth.
1,987 reviews11 followers
March 29, 2015
DNF at page 190 when Stein decides to get high after six years of being clean and his teenage daughter runs away. This book reads like it was written in the 1970s. I was surprised it was published in 2010. It was trying too hard to be funny and it didn't flow.
Profile Image for Tom Clark.
5 reviews
August 30, 2014
Hilarious take on stoner culture. If you like movies like the Coen Brothers, expecially The Big Lebowski, then you will enjoy this caper.
Profile Image for Julia.
449 reviews
Read
June 25, 2015
Stein is kind of annoying... as I assume he is supposed to be. Still, I'll read the next book in the series.
Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews