The Power of Nice: How to Negotiate So Everyone Wins-Especially You!

by Ronald M. Shapiro, Mark A. Jankowski, James Dale

One of the most successful dealmakers in the sports industry presents his unique negotiating strategies "Ron Shapiro's new book is insightful and entertaining. The lessons he learned and the methods he uses should be required reading for anyone whose business relies on the art of negotiation. Ron never forgets that treating people with respect and fairness is the key to success. Ron and Mark have been helping our company for many years-I guess we won't need them anymore-they put it all in their book."
— Charles M. Cawley , Chief Executive Officer, MBNA America Bank, N.A. "In the field of negotiation Ron Shapiro has always been regarded as the quintessence of class and integrity. Predictably, he and Mark Jankowski have written a compelling book filled with anecdotes and insights. The Power of Nice is a fascinating and useful book that is a must read for anyone who wants to build long-term mutually profitable relationships."
— Herb Cohen , Author, You Can Negotiate Anything "This book taught me everything I ever wanted to know about negotiation-and I use it everyday."
— Kirby Puckett , Former All-Star Center Fielder and Executive Vice President, Minnesota Twins "Negotiation is not war. Negotiation is not a science. Negotiation is the commerce of information for ultimate gain."
— from The Power of Nice Though not a science, negotiating is an art, and in this eye-opening new book, a true master shares his secrets and strategies for success. Ron Shapiro is a corporate lawyer, teacher, and, in what is almost a contradiction in terms, one of today's most respected sports agents. He has worked with baseball's biggest Cal Ripken, Jr., Kirby Puckett, Brooks Robinson, Dennis Martinez, Jim Palmer, Eddie Murray, and many others. Rising to-and remaining at-the top of a competitive pool filled with smooth-talking, "sleazeball" sharks, he has succeeded by being, of all things, a nice guy. Now, along with his business partner, lawyer, lecturer, and negotiations expert, Mark Jankowski, Shapiro reveals how anyone who sits down to make a deal can get what they want by exercising the surprising "power of nice." Together, Shapiro and Jankowski have shared their negotiation insights with Fortune 500 companies, entrepreneurs, universities, and government agencies. Though the name of the game in negotiating is to obtain desired results, how you get them is just as important. While many dealmakers play hardball by assuming a winner-take-all, scorched-earth attitude, they do so at the risk of alienating the party opposite them at the negotiating table, thereby losing out on future opportunities. This approach is, as Shapiro and Jankowski tell us, a major strike against effective negotiating, and can-and should-be avoided. By using a kinder, gentler approach that focuses on forming-and keeping-strong business connections, ultimate gain can still be "You can be 'a nice guy' and still get what you're after. In fact, you often get better results, achieve more of your goals, and build longer-term relationships with even greater returns." Drawing on their vast experience in win-win negotiating, as well as such essentials as managing tough situations, handling difficult negotiators, and unlocking deadlocks, the authors take you, step-by-step, through a systematic approach that, when repeated and mastered, will maximize results. Based on "the three Ps," it consists preparing better than the other side; probing so you know what they want and why; and proposing, ideally without going first and revealing too much, but still achieving what you want. Supported by invaluable "portable" negotiation summaries-so you can take the "power of nice" with you-this is must reading for anyone who has to make a deal, whether it's negotiating with a customer, setting a curfew with a teenager, or getting the last seat on an over-sold airplane.

Genres: Business, Leadership, Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help

282 pages, Paperback

First published September 29, 1998

Reviews

[Judith · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely enjoyed this book. It took me a while to read because I was taking notes and letting some of the lessons sink in. While I am not actively involved in the sort of negotiating the author wrote about, people participate in negotiations in all aspects of life.

I also learned quite a bit about myself and some of my personal weaknesses as well as what sort of negotiator I am. Very enlightening.

I recommend this book for anyone looking to improve their negotiating style, communication skills, or how to interact with people in general.

[Tess Mertens-Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I re-read this book as I am going to present the topic at a meeting. I heard the author speak in the early 2000s, and rereading it I saw the philosophy is still alive.
The bottom line from this attorney who wrote the book is you don’t have to be the biggest jerk in the room to win. Negotiation is a process, not an event, and building relationships through amicable negotiations lead to long term deals and commitments. You can use the teachings of this book in business as well and the personal consumer world. A must for any buyer or lawyer

[Leah Gosdin]

This book is an interesting take on negotiating, differentiating from the typical win-lose scenario and proposing a WIN-win solution. In my current role, my goal is to not gauge suppliers for pricing but to create long term partnerships where our suppliers are happy. This book gives tips and tricks for just that.

I do wish the book gave more business examples, specifically procurement. Most examples given were sports related.

[Darya · Rating 4 out of 5]

Do we need to be nice in negotiations? Actually being nice doesn't help to achieve your goals during negotiations. After reading this book U started hesitating if win-win actually exists in any negotiations regardless their nature. It is not possible to have both teams winning in any completion as one of them has to take the second place.

[Jenna · Rating 4 out of 5]

For someone who generally feels like negotiation is slimy, this book gave good tools and anecdotes that support the idea that negotiation isn't inherently slimy. I look forward to applying the information I learned to be an effective negotiator.

[Raudi · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book have very good tips (obvious things) but is full of long boring anecdotes that make the reading boring once on a while.

[Lea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sometimes a book makes a ton of sense and this is one of them. Some really great tips on negotiation with some application that helps to put it in practice. Highly recommend!

[Janet · Rating 4 out of 5]

I heard Shapiro speak at a CEO Club function on the principles in his book, then shortly thereafter purchased the book. Shapiro was Cal Ripkin's agent and his example of how to look at Win-Win, versus a Win-Lose negotiating style got my attention in the seminar.

Thr is a book stresses a systematic approach to negotiations that's based on rationality, process, and decisive actions. The authors' emphasis on the need for systematic, behavior-based process is outstanding in theory and obviously difficult to learn how to practice. They underscore this point with a vivid example involving skydiving (pp. 63-66).

The core tenets of the philosophy are the "3 Ps and Big L" (overviewed in Ch. 4, with greater detail in Ch. 5-7):

* Prepare (Ch. 5)
* Probe (Ch. 6)
* Propose (Ch. 7)
* Listen

The 3 Ps represent the primary areas of the negotiating process; using good listening skills is an overarching principle that's essential throughout the process.

[Debbie · Rating 4 out of 5]

"The Power of Nice" was really a great book about how to negotiate. This book is sorely needed in the time of winner take all patterns we see in public and private life. Bravo for putting out a strong book contending that we need to focus on maintaining civil discourse and relationships when negotiating anything. This is a book that America needs right now!

[Jason · Rating 5 out of 5]

Title of the book made me skeptical, but this was a great book on negotiation. Great structure and tips - don't agree on all of it because it assumes all negotiation is a more formal negotiation, although most of the concepts can easily be adapted for other situations.

This is the book I recommend to people interested in learning about negotiation.

[Troy Kuhn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Negotiating is an important part of every day life. This book helps to understand the value of the Win-win concept

[Tim Burrell · Rating 5 out of 5]

My approach to negotiating, where nice guys come in first.

[شیرخان فرملی]

it's the Power of Nice: Learning..............

[Maria del Pilar]

The most gratifying outcome from this book was to be present in 2 highly important negotiations: 1 of them Carter's and 1 of them Reagan's.

[David Gratz · Rating 5 out of 5]

An indispensable guide to negotiating: how to prepare, plan, and propose.

[Andrea · Rating 2 out of 5]

Useful for business and personal negotiation.